Chapter Text
Tommy scurried from where he sat behind the tree. He picked his way over the sleeping bodies of his friends, heading for where they had stashed the food that night.
He paused by the fire, holding out his hands to the dying embers. The weight of the cuffs adjusted as they came to rest at the joint of his wrist. Their cold bite reminded him of why he was sleeping in a tree while his friends were down here.
He remembered the thrill of ôwer, how he and the elements battled for mercy, how they battled for control. He remembered how the elements had ultimately ended, but how he had been able to use them to hurt, maybe even kill, so many people.
He shivered at the memory.
Never again.
He walked over to Phil, who was by the food sack, before carefully untying the top of it. He plucked out a few apples and wrapped scraps of meat, as well as swapping out his current water bottle with a new one. They would just clean it out and purify it again and he would come back to change them again. That was the only way he was guaranteed to not make himself sick from bad water.
His hands hovered over a pack of cookies they had picked up in town. He was sure they would notice them missing, but he had gone so long without eating anything a fine as cookies. Not giving himself another chance to second-guess, he pulled out a cookie and resealed the package.
After making sure everything looked like it had before he came, he started leaving the small camp, his pockets heavy with the stolen food.
He was about to leave when he heard a small whimper.
His eyes snapped to the sleeping bags at his feet, searching for the source of the sound, though he was pretty sure he knew who it had come from.
Sure enough, he caught sight of a green sleeping bag with a tuft of brown hair moving around.
He slowly got closer, wanting to provide the comfort his bonded had given him so many times.
When he was close enough, he heard the pleads for freedom fall from Tubbo’s lips and saw the way his face had shiny tear-tracks across it.
“Shhhh,” he soothed, taking a seat by his head, resting his back against a tree.
He gently reached out for Tubbo and dragged him so that his head was resting in his lap.
“You’re safe, Tubs. I promise,” he said quietly, letting the nickname fall from his mouth.
He ran his fingers through his hair the way he did back in the cave and pulled him so that more of his torso was cradled against his crossed legs.
“Shhhh,” he whispered again.
After a few minutes of running his hands through his hair and whispering gentle assurances to him, Tubbo slowly calmed down.
When he had fallen still again, Tommy leaned back and breathed a sigh of relief.
“Tommy?” he heard Tubbo mumble.
He looked down, his heart racing and found Tubbo’s wide brown eyes looking up at him. The light from the dying fire reflected off of them, painting them a warm golden brown.
“Hey, big man,” Tommy whispered with a tired smile.
“What are you doing here?” Tubbo asked, his words slurred from sleep.
“Just getting food,” Tommy said softly.
“You could just stay here with us. We miss you,” Tubbo told him, hope glowing gently in his eyes.
Tommy stared at them, at the gentle hope that seemed to pool in his irises. He knew that if he refused, he would be extinguishing the tentative flame. It would disappear in an instant, and as much as he didn’t want that to happen, he knew what he had to do.
“I can't. I can't risk hurting you or anyone else,” Tommy said, peeling his eyes away from Tubbo. He didn't want to watch the light disappear from them.
Tubbo made a strangled noise in the back of his throat.
“You wouldn't hurt any of us,” he protested.
“But I already have,” Tommy whispered forcefully.
“You didn't mean to do that though. I'm fine.”
Tommy shook his head.
“It's not worth the risk,” he said shamefully.
“For you, there's not a single thing I wouldn't risk,” Tubbo said sincerly.
“And that’s the problem isn’t it? I’m not worth it. I’m not worth anything,” Tommy hissed quietly, regretting the words as soon as they left his mouth.
He heard Tubbo gasp beneath him.
“You don’t mean that do you,” Tubbo asked carefully.
“No. Maybe? I don’t know,” Tommy admitted.
“Ok, uhh,” Tubbo took a deep breath, “I don't know how I can convince you, but you’re worth the world. You’re amazing and stupidly brave,” Tubbo started. He opened his mouth to continue when a loud yawn escaped from his mouth.
“Sleep, Tubs. You need it,” Tommy said, latching onto the opportunity to get Tubbo to sleep.
Tubbo looked like he was about to protest when another yawn slipped out.
“Close your eyes. I’ll stay here till you fall asleep,” Tommy promised, brushing his brown hair out of his eyes.
Tubbo relented and relaxed onto Tommy’s lap.
Tommy went back to stroking his hair and adjusting him so that Tubbo was safely nestled on top of him.
He hummed absentmindedly, taking note of the way Tubbo seemed to melt against him as he did so.
When Tubbo was completely slack and his chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm, he waited for a little longer, the moon and stars keeping him company.
Once Tommy was sure he was asleep, he carefully got Tubbo off of him and pulled the sleeping bag tighter around him to keep him warm and placed him a bit closer to the fire.
When he walked out of the clearing, he felt cold, but the wind had nothing to do with it.
When he climbed back into his tree that night, curled against the trunk with his body high up in the air, he had never felt so alone.
That’s how it went for a while.
Tommy would follow the group from the trees and steal their food at night.
Sometimes Tubbo would be up waiting for him, sometimes just to enjoy his company and other times he tried to get Tommy to remove the cuffs or to stay with him. Each time Tommy refused, but it was getting harder and harder to do so.
The bond which he could always feel beneath his skin, which always pulled him to Tubbo, was getting restless. He was getting colder and colder each night. Weaker and weaker.
But he had to stay away. For Tubbo.
“I think we should split up,” Phil said one night while the group was eating dinner. Tommy was in the trees, watching them like he usually did.
“Why?” Henrich asked.
“In a few days, we can either keep heading south and keep going to the harbour, but if we head west then we can make a stop at the Great Library. But I think it would be most helpful to have both at the same time,” Phil explained.
Henrich mulled this over before nodding.
“Good idea, but who do we send where?” he asked.
“Well... let's see... who wants to go where?” Phil said, turning to address the rest of the group.
“I want to head to the harbour,” Wilbur piped up.
Techno stepped closer to Wilbur, silently declaring his allegiance to him.
“I haven't been to the library in a while. I think it would be nice to pop in,” Dream said, stepping forward.
“Me and Sap go where Dream goes,” George said with a nod towards the blonde.
“Niki?” Tubbo asked. “Where are you going?”
“The library. I don't think we’re ready to start heading south,” she said.
“I'm with you,” he said, grabbing her hand.
Niki sent him a soft smile, her eyes glittering in the moonlight.
Tommy looked between the groups, wondering which path he should take. On one hand, he had Phil, Wilbur, and Techno, people who had taken him in, who had loved and cared for him before he had even shown them kindness.
On the other hand, there was Tubbo. His bonded. His friend who had been there for his lowest points in life and who continued to stand beside him. Tubbo, who would lay down his life for Tommy, for whom Tommy would do the same without hesitation.
But Henrich would be with Tubbo, and something about him rubbed Tommy the wrong way. He didn't want to give their paths a chance to intersect.
He had a few days to decide, he supposed.
But choosing wouldn't be easy. There were pros and cons to both sides.
He looked up at the stars, hoping that they would guide him just as they had in the past when he was lost and alone.