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Prompts: Uhh hi. Wanted to know if you could write something with Logan brin hurt (emotionally, mentally, physically, doesn't matter as long as he's hurt) and Patton, Virgil, and Roman aren't there for him for whatever reason so Remus and Janus take care of Logan and there's a lot of Logan being pulled into and set on laps and just Janus and Roman being Protective? I'm a sucker for hurt logan and Protective Janus and Remus. Okay thanks, have a good time. - anon
hey there! i absolutely love your fanfics! if possible (and feel free to ignore this), could you write some roloceit angst and hurt/comfort? perhaps with roman being the comforter and logan or janus being the hurt one? again, feel free to ignore this if you don’t want to write this, no pressure - anon
Can I request some Janus and Virgil or Logan cuddles? - anon
Occasionally, Logan will get stuck.
Not in a logic loop, no, he’s quite adept at getting out of those, but in certain patterns of behavior. He’ll find himself absentmindedly swinging his arm back and forth and the moment he notices it, he will be unable to stop. It will simply swing there, back and forth, completely unconsciously, and only by someone else walking past and asking him what he’s doing, or tapping him, will he be able to stop.
For the most part, it’s just an annoying inconvenience. It takes him longer to do tasks than it should. It prevents him from engaging in serious conversations when necessary. Occasionally, Roman will also get stuck in a similar fashion and the two of them will shake their heads until they can unstick themselves.
Other times…
“Damnit, no, that’s not what I meant.”
“Well, what did you mean? Because it kind of sounds like you don’t want me to be in your space at all, except your space is the entire Mindscape!”
“Kiddos, just—calm down—“
“We can’t, Padre, you know we can’t.”
“Listen, this whole thing started because—“
How did this whole thing start?
Logan curls his fingers around his water bottle and leans back against the couch, closing his eyes as the others continue bickering.
Thomas had gotten into a small argument earlier today. Nothing too significant, nothing that would drastically impede their friendship, nor chance a cut-off of communication. But enough to make Virgil shoot up protectively the second Thomas got back.
Roman hadn’t wanted to do anything except immediately apologize. Patton had wanted to talk through everything with Thomas to make sure they understood it. Virgil hadn’t wanted to do anything because Thomas was already stressed.
Logan—
Well, Logan’s not sure what to do.
He doesn’t want to—
Well. He doesn’t want to do anything.
Thomas should give his friend time to relax and get a clear head, giving himself time to do the same. They had both reacted emotionally due to the differences in the way they associate emotions with the things that they care about. Thus, in order to reach a conclusion that would satisfy both parties, they needed to determine the best way to explain their differences and work together. The problem arose when figuring out how to communicate something that innate.
“If we try and say that this is just how we think,” Virgil says firmly, “we’re gonna come off as patronizing or condescending.”
“But if we don’t say it at all,” Patton points out, “then we’re just going to hurt them again!”
“So it would be best if we just went away?” Roman throws his hands up. “The first thing we have to do is apologize. We hurt them.”
“But we’re not responsible for their emotions. We have to talk to them before we can do anything like apologize.”
“But then it just sounds like we’re preaching at them!”
“Think of it this way: if you knew that someone was specifically holding their emotions back so that you could feel better, how would you feel?”
“That was not the right thing to say, Patton,” Virgil mutters under his breath.
Logan taps his fingers against his water bottle. Tap, tap, tap. Tap, tap, tap.
“What do you think I’ve been doing?”
“Roman—“
“Putting that aside,” Virgil says quickly, “we have to talk about how—“
They’ve been at this for—how long? Logan can’t remember. They’re feeding off of each other at this point, caught in a feedback loop. Roman will say something, Virgil will point out how that doesn’t make sense to him so how could it make sense to someone else, Patton will try and bring the conversation back to feelings, and on and on they spin. Logan has no emotional stake in this—not that he has much of an emotional stake in anything—and thus he tried to stay quiet, to let them speak.
He’s already been asked to let them do so many times.
So he sits quietly, tapping his fingers against his water bottle. Tap, tap, tap.
“Do you just want me to leave? Should I get some paper plates for myself?”
“No, kiddo, that’s not what we want—“
“That would make me feel worse because then it feels like you aren’t comfortable down here.”
“Well, I’m not! I’m already at max capacity, trying to figure out what you all need from this and all we’re doing is adding more rules for how I’m supposed to behave!”
“Virgil,” Roman says, “what do you think the rules are? What are we missing about how Thomas is acting?”
“I just told you all of them!”
Tap, tap, tap. Tap, tap, tap.
“But we don’t know what those rules are, if you were to just tell us—“
“But you’ve told me them so many times, hell, I helped create some of them!”
Tap, tap, tap. Tap, tap, tap.
“But there may be rules that you see as rules that we don’t care about, so—“
“Because it’s not your job to care about them, Princey.”
“So help me understand! I don’t want to make this harder on you!”
“You’re not responsible for my emotions.”
“But I can’t think like that, Virgil. If I tell you to do something or—even if I just say something or bring it up then you’ll get mad at me and I hate it when you’re mad at me.”
“But you’re not responsible for that.”
“You’re still going to be mad at me!”
“Damnit, no, that’s—no, Princey, that’s not true.”
Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.
Their voices keep getting louder. His tapping grows frantic. They ring in his ears, even with his eyes closed he can see their faces. He can see Virgil’s eyeshadow getting deeper, he can see Roman’s expressions getting more defined, he can see Patton getting slowly more frustrated. He can hear the tension in the room about to snap.
They’re all about to start yelling at each other and he can’t do anything to stop it.
All he can do is tap, tap, tap, on his water bottle.
“What’re you all shouting about?”
“Go away, Remus.”
“Oh, but I just love showing up where I’m not invited.”
Something heavy lands on the couch next to Logan. He does not look up from his water bottle, he does not open his eyes, his fingers do not stop tap, tap, tapping.
“Remus, don’t do that, you almost landed right on…”
Virgil’s voice trails off.
“…Logan?”
Tap, tap, tap. Tap, tap, tap.
“Logan, are you okay?”
Tap, tap, tap. Tap, tap, tap. Tap, tap, tap.
“Fuck, guys, shut up.”
“Virgil!”
“Language, kiddo.”
“No, really, guys, Logan’s not okay, be quiet.”
Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.
“But I think it’s interesting how—“
“No, guys, really,” Virgil says again, his tempest tongue coming out a little, “shut up.”
“Lolo?”
Ah, that must be Remus. A soft voice beside him, blocking out the others into a distant murmur, a warm hand on his shoulder.
“Lolo, can you hear me?”
Tap, tap, tap. Tap, tap, tap.
Remus curses. “I’m taking this.”
“Rem—!”
Logan doesn’t hear the rest of Patton’s cry as Remus grabs him by the shoulder and sinks out, into another living room, perhaps, judging by the fact that they land on a very similar couch.
“It’s okay, Lolo,” Remus murmurs, rubbing gentle circles into his shoulder, “you’re okay, this won’t last forever. I already called for Jan-Jan.”
Tap, tap, tap. Tap, tap, tap.
“You’re doing great, just keep breathing, okay?”
The water bottle cap smushes uncomfortably against Logan’s mouth, how long has he had it here?
“You’re okay, Lolo, this won’t last forever, just stay with me.”
The others aren’t here. No one is yelling. There will be no emotional spillover, everything will be okay. Everything is okay.
Logan’s tapping grows less frantic, settling back into a smooth rhythm on the bottle.
Tap, tap, tap. Tap, tap, tap.
Remus’s hand never leaves his shoulder, still rubbing warm, patient circles.
“They should’ve known better,” he mutters, mostly to himself, “fucking morons.”
Something about Remus’s tone worms its way into Logan’s hands, gentling his fingers to a stop. He cups the smooth, cool metal of the water bottle and takes a deep breath. Remus stills.
“…Lolo?”
He blinks his eyes open.
Well, he was correct. They are in the Dark Sides’s living room. He turns to look at Remus.
“Be honest,” he says in a surprisingly even voice, “how red is my face right now?”
Remus blinks. “Not one bit, actually.”
“Well, that’s good.”
“Yeah.” Remus looks down and gently tugs on the water bottle. “Can I have this?”
“No, thank you.”
“Okay. Can I hug you?”
“Yes, why—oof!”
To be honest, he probably should have expected to be all but tackled into the couch, considering that is the primary way Remus shows affection to Roman. Still, his back hits the sofa with a surprised gasp as Remus’s weight comes to rest on top of him.
“A little warning next time would’ve been appreciated.”
“Sorry.” Remus props himself up on his elbows. “Am I hurting you?”
“I can’t imagine lying on top of a water bottle is very comfortable.”
Remus lets him move it off his chest before flopping back down and snuggling closer.
“You okay?”
“I’m perfectly adequate.”
“Not what I asked, Brainiac. You were stuck. And upset.”
Logan quiets. Remus must be able to tell that he’s thinking; after a second, he turns and goes to pull away. The sudden absence of warm pressure above him hurts.
“No—“ he catches onto Remus’s back— “stay?”
“…Lolo,” Remus says quietly after a moment, “Lolo, move your arm a little.”
“What? Why?”
“Don’t want to hurt you when I lie back down, shift a bit.”
Logan shifts, letting Remus settle back down on top of him and lift his arm over his shoulder. He rumbles, low in his chest, pressing Logan firmly against the couch.
“Can we just…stay like this? For a bit?”
“Sure, Lolo.”
Remus is warm and solid, somehow radiating the energy that if anyone so much as tries to get near them right now he’ll gnaw their arm off. That’s not an empty threat. One of his hands flops off the couch, keeping his fingers just brushing the carpet. Logan takes a deep breath, feeling Remus move.
Oh.
Oh, dear.
“What?”
Did he say that out loud?
“Yeah, you did.”
“Hmm,” Logan mumbles, “well, that’s not ideal.”
“Yeah, I gathered. But that’s kinda my thing so, spit it out, Lolo.”
“I have come to the realization that I entered the stimming cycle while in my operative mode, which means that I cannot fully disengage from it until I know the problem is resolved.” Logan sighs. “Which I can’t do until I reestablish an emotional balance.”
“Can you put that in layman’s terms?”
He winces. “I don’t know if I can. My vocabulary tends to increase exponentially as my level of exhaustion climbs.”
“Yeesh.” Remus sits up, sliding onto the floor and prompting an involuntary noise from Logan wondering where he’s going. “C’mere.”
Remus hauls him into his lap. Logan’s a little too tall to fit his head under Remus’s chin, but Remus plants his face square in Logan’s collarbones and hangs on tight.
“You’re gonna be fine, Lolo,” Remus says softly, “just…try and take a minute, yeah? Maybe you’ll be a little less exhausted.”
“But I can’t, Remus,” he whispers, “I can’t—I can’t start calming down until the problem’s solved and I can’t solve the problem unless I—I—“
“Ah, shh, shh,” Remus hushes, leaning back to place a finger against Logan’s mouth, “first off, you already explained it better than you did a moment ago, and second, the three of them actually are capable of solving their own problems.”
He chuckles, clearly seeing the doubt expressed on Logan’s face.
“I know it sounds impossible, but they have done it.”
“Who has done what?”
Logan whirls around to see Janus striding out of the shadows, nonchalantly tugging his gloves into place. Remus, of course, does not bother to keep them balanced and simply topples over, right on top of Logan.
Janus raises an eyebrow at the display. “My, Remus, how graceful you’re getting to be.”
“Thank you!”
“That’s not—mm.” Janus rolls his eyes and looks at Logan. “Well, I must say, I certainly expected to see you here.”
Logan’s fingers close absentmindedly around the water bottle. Janus’s gaze holds him tight.
Tap, tap, tap.
What—what’s happening? Janus won’t hurt him, Janus isn’t going to be angry at him—is he? Janus won’t have to go clean up his mess…right?
“Remus, off.”
“Hey, Lolo, it’s okay, you’re good, remember?”
Logan blinks. Janus is crouched now, concern written plainly on his features. Remus’s hand is on his shoulder again, gently rubbing circles. His own hands tap gently on the surface of the water bottle.
“My apologies.”
“You’re good,” Remus says as Janus murmurs: “there’s no need for that, sweetie.”
Logan sighs, stilling his hands and sitting up, letting Remus hook one leg around his back to pull him into his embrace. He leans his head into the middle of Logan’s back and hums.
“Remus…rescued me,” he says eventually, “from the conversation going on with the others.”
Janus makes a small ‘ah’ sound.
“There were..heavy emotional investments coming from all sides,” Logan continues, “including making Virgil feel a little cornered.”
“I’m sure that went well.”
“It didn’t.” Logan shuts his eyes. “And now I am…I got stuck.”
“With the water bottle?”
He nods. “And I am currently unable to get…unstuck.”
“Because your system still registers it as an incomplete task,” Janus murmurs, “and thus it won’t let you begin to decompress.”
Logan nods.
“Look at me, sweetie.”
Janus smiles when he catches Logan’s gaze again. He holds out a hand. “Come here, let me help.”
Logan goes to stand, only to be thwarted by Remus’s arms, still tightly around his waist.
“No,” Remus mutters, muffled a little with his head in Logan’s back still, “my brain cell.”
Janus frowns. “Remus…”
“You wait your turn!”
A giggle bubbles out of Logan’s throat. Janus narrows his eyes and his arms stretch, each curving around Logan’s sides to poke Remus.
“Give. Me. My. Logan,” Janus says, punctuating each word with a poke. “My. Logan.”
Remus squeaks, clutching Logan tightly, only making the giggles worse.
“Give me my Logan,” Janus calls, still prodding Remus, “give him to me.”
“Fine!”
“There,” Janus coos, immediately taking advantage of the fact that all his arms are here and Logan is no longer being held to reel the logical Side in close, “that wasn’t so hard now was it?”
The residual giggles don’t quite trail off as Janus pushes Logan’s glasses back up his nose and smiles.
“Hi, sweetie.” His eyes widen when Logan can’t stop giggling. “I didn’t poke you now, little one, why’re you so giggly?”
He shoots a mock scolding look over Logan’s shoulder.
“You didn’t accidentally kidnap Patton, and not my Logan, did you?”
“Nope, that’s the brainiac.”
“Mm.”
Why can’t he stop laughing? What’s happening? Why is—why is he stuck again?
“Oh, oh, sweetie,” Janus’s voice comes from somewhere far away, “oh, little Logan, it’s alright, shh, shh, sweetie…”
Why is Janus shushing him? He’s fine. Something swipes against his cheek.
“Shh, shh, you come here, just come here for me, Logan, I’ve got you, you’re safe now…”
Is he still laughing? His chest is still hitching and he can feel his diaphragm, so why does Janus sound so concerned?
“It’s okay to cry, sweetie, it’s normal, from what it sounds like, you’ve been having a bit of a rough time.” Something against his cheek again. “Shh, shh, just come here…”
Oh.
Oh, he’s crying.
Of course, as soon as he realizes that, he all but collapses into Janus’s chest and starts sobbing in earnest.
“There, there, sweetie,” Janus coos instantly, cradling his limp form, “I’ve got you, you’re safe, little one, shh, shh, it’s alright.”
Logan clutches as hard as he can to Janus’s cloak, fingers sliding off clumsily. Janus makes a noise and two hands come up to grip his, squeezing.
“There you go, just focus on this for me, okay? Stay with me, Logan.”
“What’s—what—wha’s happening?”
“You’re crying, sweetie,” Janus says gently, “you’re overwhelmed and exhausted. Your system is trying to reset itself.”
“But—but—it—but it hurts.”
“Try not to fight it,” comes Remus’s voice from behind him, “let Janny hang onto you.”
“That’s right.” Janus clutches him tighter. “You just stay right here, little Logan, in my arms, in my lap, let me look after you.”
“‘M not little.”
“You’re all little to me, sweetie.”
Remus snorts. “Just because you’re a giant to everyone else aside from when Virgil gets tall doesn’t mean you have to be so snobby about it.”
“On the contrary, it means I have the right to look down on you all.”
Despite himself, Logan snorts. An interesting experience when combined with a sob, to be sure, but it happens. Janus chuckles, still hugging him tightly.
“That’s it, sweetie, it’s alright. It seems like you’re coming to the end of it now, just a little longer, you’re doing wonderfully…”
Logan takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly…slowly…there.
“Sweetie?” A hand ruffles through his hair. “Sweetie, are you with me?”
“Yes,” Logan mumbles, “yes, I’m—I’m here.”
“Good.” Janus presses a kiss to his cheek. “That seemed like a lot, sweetie, are you alright?”
“…hurts.”
“What hurts, Logan, what can I do?”
“Just…” he leans a little further into Janus’s embrace. “Stay?”
Janus chuckles. “Of course, sweetie. Do you want to talk about it?”
Logan shakes his head. “Ask—ask Remus.”
“Remus?”
As Remus explains what happened, Logan closes his eyes and does his very best to relax, more than sagging unconsciously into Janus’s arms. Everything is so…fuzzy, almost pixelated, as though he’s struggling to keep his focus here and now. He feels as though he’s fading in between…layers? Is that the right word? Layers of being stuck and unstuck, drifting without ever really making his home in one or the other. If he lets himself slip too much, he’ll get stuck in a loop of nothingness, unable to move or do anything. If he winds himself up too much or tries to focus too hard, he’ll get stuck in another stim cycle.
Janus makes a soft noise and a hand scratches lightly through his hair.
“I’m sorry, sweetie,” comes the voice in his ear, “that sounds awful.”
“It’s not their fault.”
“No, I know that, but still.” Janus kisses his forehead. “That doesn’t make it easier for you.”
“And they should know better,” Remus growls, sending another jolt of warmth through Logan’s chest.
“We can’t just forbid them from hurting Logan ever again.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s terribly impractical, Remus, you know this.”
Remus’s theatrical sigh almost makes him seem like Roman. The arms that attach themselves like limpets around his waist a moment later, though, are definitely Remus.
“This okay?”
“Mhmm.”
“Good.” Remus’s head finds a home in between Logan’s shoulder blades. “We’re all just gonna sit here for a moment, okay?”
“Okay.”
Janus ruffles Remus’s hair and bends down to murmur in Logan’s ear.
“Do you want to fall asleep here, sweetie?”
That’s enough to rouse him. “No. If I do that, it will be…not good.”
Janus nods. “Then let’s have you stay here for a little longer, then get you to your room for a shower and something to eat, hmm?”
“Yes, please, thank you.”
“Of course, sweetie.”
Sure enough, a few minutes later, when Janus gently prompts him up, Logan wraps his arms around Remus in a tight hug with a whispered thank-you before Janus sinks him out to his room. He passes Logan a granola bar and watches as he eats, chases it down with a glass of water.
“Would you like to be left alone for this?”
Logan nods.
“Alright.” Janus cups the back of his neck to bring their foreheads together, kissing his cheek one last time. “Take care of yourself, alright, sweetie?”
“I will.”
“Good.”
Janus sinks out and Logan goes to take a shower. It’s only muscle memory that gets him out of his clothes, into the shower, out of the shower, and into something softer. His mind is still fuzzy, unsure of whether it’s going to stick or not, accompanied by a slowly growing grayness in his chest. It spikes the instant he shuts off the water, making him much, much colder than he expects, threatening a whine in the back of his throat. It disappears a moment later but it leaves him shaken.
It’s only when he opens his bathroom door and Roman turns around that he realizes what must’ve happened.
Roman smiles softly, his hand coming up to reach for him. Logan comes, letting him take his hand and pull him close.
“Hey, there, Specs,” Roman murmurs, “you’re all clean now, hmm?”
“Yes, I—you—why—how—“
“Janus came to have a talk with me,” Roman says, cutting off the rest of his babbling, “even though most of it I already knew. I’m sorry I didn’t realize you getting stuck earlier, I know that can’t’ve been easy.”
“…it wasn’t.”
“I’m glad our snake took care of you.”
“Remus helped too.”
“And Remus,” Roman amends, still smiling as he tugs Logan closer, “but you’re still…?”
Logan’s face falls; he can tell by the way Roman makes a soft noise and raises a hand to tuck his hair back.
“Oh, sweetheart,” he murmurs, “may I take care of you?”
“You don’t have to.”
“I know, I know I don’t have to, but I want to.” Roman draws back a little to fix him with a look. “Because aside from your brain not knowing whether it’s going to get stuck again, I know two things are going on in there.”
He softens a little.
“Let me guess: part of you is trying to convince itself that either you are useless when it comes to emotions and thus we don’t need you, or that you don’t have emotions and therefore you shouldn’t be feeling like this.”
Logan’s mouth drops open.
“Am I right?”
“You—how—“
“Because I know you, my dearest darling nerd,” Roman murmurs, smiling, “and I know that you know both of those aren’t true, but perhaps you need a little reminder sometimes, hmm?”
He steps a little closer.
“Janus is very good at pulling you out of your head,” he continues, still trailing his fingers through Logan’s hair in a way that makes it very hard for Logan to disagree with him, “but he’s not very good at keeping you there, is he?”
“He’s good to us,” Logan mumbles, because Janus is, and he’s not sure what he would’ve done if he hadn’t shown up.
But at the same time…
“Janus is always a good person to go to first,” Roman says, as if he can hear what’s going on in Logan’s head—which, can he? Because he was spot on a moment ago— “isn’t he?”
Logan nods.
“He’s better at the first part than me, you know I can’t stop myself from spoiling you.”
Roman chuckles as Logan’s cheeks flush bright red.
“But maybe you need to get spoiled right now,” he continues, getting close enough to brush his nose against Logan’s cheek, “hmm? Let me take care of you?”
“R-Roman—“
“I’m right here, sweetheart,” Roman soothes as Logan reaches for him, “I’m right here…”
Roman lies them down, pulling the covers down to let Logan crawl into the bed first and tucking them both back in. He reaches up to carefully take hold of Logan’s glasses.
“May I?”
Logan nods. Roman slides them off carefully and folds them up, placing them on the table. Now everything really is fuzzy, Roman’s face staying out of focus until he leans back in, close enough to be clear.
“Give me a second.” Logan blinks and Roman’s also wearing a soft T-shirt and pants, smiling down at him. “There. Now I can cuddle you and I won’t hurt you.”
“You wouldn’t hurt me,” Logan mutters as Roman props himself up on his elbow, running his hand through Logan’s hair.
“It’s never my intention, no.” He leans down to press a kiss to Logan’s forehead.
“Roman…”
“Yes, sweetheart, what is it?”
Logan shakes his head. “Nothing, just…just…”
“Just what?”
“…saying your name.”
Roman’s breath leaves him in a rush. “Oh, sweetheart, let me be soft with you, please, let me look after you…”
“Yes.”
Roman lies down, swinging his leg up and over one of Logan’s. He’s warm, so warm, as his weight settles firmly in place. Unlike Remus, who stayed still, just holding Logan there, Roman moves almost constantly. Trailing kisses across his forehead, his cheeks, down to the curve of his chin, hands reaching down to clasps his and draw them up, next to his head, murmuring gently about how much he loves getting to protect Logan like this, how lucky he is to have Logan here, how sweet and soft Logan is for him right now.
“Oh, sweetheart,” he whispers as he comes back to Logan’s cheek, brushing away a stray tear, “it’s okay, Specs, you’ve been so strong today.”
“But I didn’t do anything,” he argues, “I—I wasn’t helpful at all.”
Roman leans up a little to look at him. “You made us stop and realize how stupid we were being. We got it sorted out in about five minutes after Remus took you.”
“But that wasn’t me.”
Roman smiles, leaning to rub their noses together. “You said it yourself, even when you’re not physically present, you’re still a part of the conversation.”
Oh.
Oh.
“You did so good today, Logan,” Roman promises, kissing his cheek again, “now relax and let me spoil you.”
“Roman…”
“Mm,” comes the mumble from somewhere near his ear.
“Roman…”
He can almost feel the quirk of Roman’s mouth. “Just saying my name, sweetheart?”
“Mhm.”
“Well then,” Roman murmurs, “just lie there and fall asleep to me, okay? I’ve got you.”
Logan shuts his eyes and lets Roman cuddle him, feeling the warmth reach into his chest and gentle the stickiness away. Although…
If this is what getting stuck will get him sometimes, maybe it’s not always an annoying inconvenience.