Work Text:
Alex,
Sometimes it is hard to believe that it has been two years since we've defied the world and defined our own.
It wasn't easy at all but you make bloodiest crusades seem like holiest pursuits. All it took was a push to unseal the deepest part of me, I carefully buried six foot deep and thought I'd never let it out. Ironic how love seemed to be a privilege for one of the most privileged. In my darkest hours I wished things were different-- wished I was different. If only I'd know the proud snare in your voice when you speak, the warmth in your eyes when you caress my cheek, the way your dimples show up when you smile, I'd know what I was living for all along. Every breath I breathe has known the taste of your love. Every minute has your name tied to it. The more I fell in love with you, the more I fell in love with life itself. You're so good at making me fall deeper and deeper every second. How could words ever explain what you mean to me? If I were to quote Jane Austen; "You've bewitched me body and soul" and I adore you most ardently. There was a time when every second was a death wish, every minute a trip to Erebus, when I was met with your unimaginable light, my heart lamented in a whisper:
“I turn away reluctant from your light,
And stand irresolute, a mind undone,
A silly, dazzled thing deprived of sight
From having looked too long upon the sun.
Then is my daily life a narrow room
In which a little while, uncertainly,
Surrounded by impenetrable gloom,
Among familiar things grown strange to me
Making my way, I pause, and feel, and hark,
Till I become accustomed to the dark”
Then you came along and destroyed every wall I'd ever built. It didn't even seem hard for you. I was ready to just be by your side watching you bloom and then like I've said before, you had the absolute audacity to fall in love with me.
Some days the world is dark, there's nothing you can do about it but all I want you to know is that the enormous light you hold inside is enough to keep me warm. I'd never have understood what Victor Hugo had said when he wrote "to love another person is to see the face of God" ; to love someone is to see the way God had intended them to be seen. With all the hard edges and quirks.
For years to come Alexander Claremont-Diaz, I will love you the same way you love me with all my flaws, all my insecurities.
P.S: You pierce my soul...I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own.
Excerpts from Jane Austen's “Persuasion"
Love,
Henry