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"Isu… I just don't know what to do. I'm tearing my hair out!" Bam almost sobbed, clinging to the purple jacket of Shibisu's tracksuit as he entered Bam’s apartment.
"Is it really that bad?" He replied, prying Bam's fingers off him and gesturing that they should go further in. Shibisu had quickly rushed over after Bam called him, almost in tears from stress.
Bam sniffed and nodded his head, holding it all inside as he led his friend through to the lounge.
"He's obsessed with the stuff. Every minute of every day he's yowling for it. And if I don't give it to him he just loses it!" His voice wavered and cracked, trying to hold himself together.
"Okay, okay. Let me speak to him. I don't think it will help at all if he won't even listen to you , but I can try."
They came to a stop outside the door to the lounge and Bam glanced over his shoulder, sniffling and smiling a weak "Thanks, Isu. You're my last hope."
Shibisu smiled back though it quickly disappeared when Bam looked away. He gulped and let his concern show in his furrowed brow.
Just what has Khun gotten himself into now?
Bam finally opened the door with a quiet creak, pushing it wider gently and revealing the bright and sunny empty lounge.
Bright and sunny empty lounge…
Empty lounge!
They stepped inside and Bam frantically looked all around him until he heard loud crashing and clanging from the direction of the kitchen. A loud, panicked shriek from Bam accused the perpetrator "Khun!"
Suddenly Bam was off like a shot, disappearing into the kitchen leaving Shibisu alone, stranded and puzzled in the lounge. He stood in the middle of the room, the loud noises and shouts of "Khun get off the counter!" and "Khun, get down from there!" Followed by more banging and now the occasional hiss as well! He had considered going after Bam but now thought twice about it.
Fortunately, Bam came barging back through into the lounge, his face torn between anger and despair. He dragged behind him a slightly shorter blue haired man, scruffing him by the collar of his white shirt as he yowled and hissed, struggling in Bam's grip.
Coming to a stop in front of a startled Shibisu, Bam pulled Khun in front of him and released his collar, watching as the usually proud and arrogant man dropped to the floor. Shibisu looked on as his friend's pet… companion… boyfriend… cat boyfriend (? honestly, Shibisu had been drawing blanks on the bizarre situation ever since Bam had introduced him to his rare humanoid cat years ago) spat a clear packet stuffed with green leaves out of his mouth onto the carpet and proceeded to roll around on it.
The two normal humans observed the cat-like human squirming on the floor, his fluffy blue ears standing to attention, his tail swishing and curling and happy little chirps and purrs rumbling pleasantly from his throat as he closed his eyes in pure bliss.
"See?" Exasperated, Bam flung his arms in the air and Shibisu could sense tears on the horizon again, spotting Bam's lower lip trembling. He sighed and squatted in front of the cat boy who ignored his existence in favour of the small packet he was rubbing himself against.
"So, it's catnip?"
Shibisu tried to inspect the packet from afar, recognising the strong odour and the reaction of the feline man shamelessly exposing himself; Khun was now on his back, rubbing the scent into his hair, his body squirming and his shirt rising up to reveal his flat but firm stomach.
"Shibisu." Bam warned in a dangerous tone as he caught his friend eyeing up his kitten a little too intently.
"Right, right. Sorry. But, why don't I just ta-!" Shibisu was about to suggest that he confiscate the catnip from Khun but when his hand reached close enough, sharp fangs pierced his skin. "Ouch! The little shi- darling angel bit me!"
He caught himself before the profanity slipped out, glares directed at him from two directions; deep blue swallowed up by pitch black from the cat boy he was trying to subdue and harsh gold from said cat boy's boyfriend as he almost insulted him.
Because God forbid if Shibisu called out Bam's perfect sweetheart as the little devil he really was!
Huffing as he climbed to his feet, Shibisu cradled his hand, using his thumb to wipe away the small pin drops of blood forming.
"Alright, how do you normally take it off him."
"Um, I can usually just… take it." Bam explained, demonstrating by bending down and picking up the little packet with ease, his free hand running through the soft blue bob of hair and scratching an ear before rising back to his feet. Shibisu pouted slightly at the completely different behaviour; of course he understood that Bam was Khun’s everything but, over the years, he thought he had also formed some sort of bond or friendship with the feline; apparently not.
Once Bam was back on his feet, Khun scrambled to him, wrapping his arms around his waist, his tail winding around a leg and his face rubbing against Bam’s… rubbing against Bam. A slight blush crept up Bam’s cheeks but he needed Shibisu to see exactly what he was dealing with. Khun purred and mewled and nuzzled against him, supposedly showing affection but the two men easily spotted the cold and calculating look in his eyes. Just as a hand swiped towards the catnip, Bam lifted it out of reach.
Khun nuzzled his face up Bam’s stomach, his dainty and precise fingertips trailing under Bam’s shirt and he rose to his feet, his nose tucking into the crook of his neck, his tail creeping under the back of Bam’s shirt and his lips placing gentle kisses against his skin.
“Baaaaam…” He whined at his boyfriend, tracing patterns over Bam’s throat with his nose “can I have it back, pleeeaase?” He asked ever so politely and Bam gulped, oh so close to breaking when those large round eyes peeked up at him, an adorable little pout on his perfect pink lips and…
“I’ll take that, thank you.” Shibisu grabbed the packet from Bam’s hand, seeing his friend about to give in. He earned himself a violent hiss and a nasty swipe for his troubles, luckily he dodged in time before Khun’s long, sharp nails could do any real damage. “Now, tell me where the rest of it is.”
Understanding Shibisu’s intention, Bam grabbed onto his boyfriend, restraining him as he flailed and kicked at Shibisu, crying to be let free as he watched the other man searching the apartment and collecting up all of his precious catnip. Shibisu did feel a little sorry for Bam, his friend's heart was clearly breaking as he held onto his sobbing cat boyfriend, rocking him back and forth and stroking his hair, whispering assurances of “It’ll be okay, it’ll all be okay…”
However, the odd ferocious glare and snarl being thrown in his direction meant that Shibisu wouldn’t want to trade places with Bam for the world.
After searching through the entire apartment (and seeing things he would rather forget), Shibisu let out a sigh, coming to a stop in the middle of the lounge. He huffed, his hands on his hips as he crept over to Bam, careful not to wake the sleeping beast beauty that had cried himself to sleep.
“I think that’s all of it.” His hushed voice whispered to Bam and received a grateful nod in return. “I’ll take all of this with me and I hope it all works out for you.”
A sad yet thankful smile twisted Bam’s lips and he nodded again, still rocking and caressing the sleeping cat curled up on his lap. “Thanks, Isu.”
When Shibisu finally left, Bam sighed, his lips pressing against each of the fluffy blue ears atop his partner's head; a silent prayer.
Hopefully that will be the end of it.
The next day Bam woke up with a spring in his step, he heaved a sigh of relief to find his gorgeous little kitty cat curled up in bed next to him, clinging to his side and warming him up for the first time in what felt like months. He reluctantly rolled out of bed with high hopes for what lay ahead of them.
Busying himself around the apartment, Bam hummed when his kitten appeared, wrapping around his waist and leeching off his warmth, the mewls and purrs like music to his ears.
The day wore on and Bam lulled into a happy contentment, things were finally back the way they should be. He sat on the sofa, mindlessly flicking through channels and playing with Khun’s tail as he catnapped next to him. However, his pleasant peace was disturbed by the doorbell; funny, he wasn’t expecting any visitors or deliveries today.
Shushing his pretty little kitten, Bam dragged himself off the sofa, unlatching Khun’s nails from his jumper. He tottered through the apartment, peeking through the peephole and frowning when he spotted the delivery guy.
He quickly accepted the delivery and closed the door behind him. Upon checking the rather large box he had received, Bam noticed that the package was addressed to Khun. Carefully placing the box on the floor, Bam had a horrible sinking suspicion; after all, Khun had been unusually calm that day, given the circumstances.
Tearing through the box, Bam’s heart plummeted when he revealed the contents; his despair almost made him weep.
Well, until his anger bubbled up and then all you could hear in the apartment was an angry yell of “Khun! I’m blocking your Nyaamazon account!”
Things were not okay.
Bam was at his wits end as he stared at Khun rolling around in a new pile of catnip, smushing his face into the carpet and happily mewing and nyaa-ing. He sat on the couch with his head in his hands at a complete loss; every time Bam managed to get rid of the catnip in the apartment, more would turn up. He blocked Khun’s Nyaamazon account, he banned use of the internet, he even cut up Khun’s bank and credit cards!
Nothing worked.
Every day a new shipment would come in and Bam would be left on the sofa to watch as his boyfriend stripped and practically bathed in the stuff.
He even slept in a bed of catnip!
Bam had been replaced with catnip.
And Bam was not okay with that.
Looking away from the depressing yet unbearably cute image of his boyfriend rolling and squirming on the floor, enjoying himself so thoroughly, Bam picked up his laptop and tapped away, making notes and scribbling away.
If nothing else was working, he would ask the internet!
Attempt One
Having done his research online, Bam was feeling a little better. He made a couple of purchases online and let Khun enjoy his peace.
Let him have it while he can.
The next day, he started his mission with the easiest of methods he had read about; it helped that he also needed to pop out to pick up a few groceries and this particular method would work perfectly!
Bam ran around the apartment, he had already hidden the catnip as he usually would and told Khun he wasn’t allowed to touch it; Khun obviously whined and complained but it was no use, Bam refused to give in, no matter how much Khun kissed and hugged him.
His only salvation; the news that Bam would be going out for a few hours. That would give him plenty of time to look for today's hiding place! So he bade his time, patiently combing through his straight bob, brushing his ears and tail and filing away at his long nails to keep them nice and sharp.
When he heard Bam calling him from the bedroom, he purred as he trotted through the apartment, his fluffy tail swishing from side to side as he entered the room.
Khun didn’t expect to be pushed roughly into the room and the bedroom door being slammed shut behind him.
His startled surprise froze him up for a moment; that was until he heard the soft metallic click of the lock being turned. The blood rushed from his face and he ran to the bedroom door, rattling the door knob to no avail and he realised he had been locked in. Slamming a perfectly manicured hand on the wood, he hissed at his boyfriend “Bam, you had better open this door now or I swear to God!”
“No. I’m going out and I know exactly what you will do as soon as I’m gone.” Calling out his kitten, Bam didn’t get any response other than a frustrated bang on the door as Khun couldn't deny what he said was true. He continued reprimanding Khun through the closed door. “Until you can control yourself, I’ll be putting you in a time out!”
Bam took a step back from the door, watching as the handle shook and the wood vibrated with Khun pounding on it from inside. He ignored the desperate cries of his boyfriend from within and swiftly walked away, planning on getting his chores over and done with as quickly as possible.
Leaving their apartment, Bam had only one thought on his mind; I hope Khun learns from this.
An hour.
Bam had only been gone for an hour.
But by the time he got back, he found Khun in his usual spot on the floor in the lounge, gleefully rubbing himself with the catnip.
Bam dropped his groceries on the floor and cried.
Attempt Two
Having discovered it was impossible for Bam to put Khun in time outs thanks to his perfectly sharpened nails that were apparently very useful for lock picking; Bam had to resort to the items that were being delivered to him that same day.
He watched, tapping his feet impatiently, as Khun practically humped the living room rug after finding that day's supply of catnip. When the doorbell rang out, Bam leapt to his feet and hurried to collect his delivery. He ripped through the box as he walked through the apartment and disappeared into the kitchen; Khun was far too distracted writhing on the floor to notice.
When Bam emerged, he strolled straight over to Khun and stared down at him, his hands hidden behind his back and he spoke in a stern tone “Khun, I want you to stop playing with the catnip.”
He firmly made his opinion clear and Khun opened his eyes to look up at the man standing over him, he smirked and replied with a mischievous “Nyaaa~!”
“Khun, stop playing with the catnip or else.” Bam held his ground, hoping that Khun would listen to his warning, the punishment he had prepared definitely wouldn’t please his kitten. “This is your last chance.”
Khun had rolled onto his front, purring and squirming, he rolled onto his back again ignoring his boyfriends warning and closing his eyes.
What a mistake.
The next thing Khun knew, his face was squirted with water until it was drenched. His eyes darted open and he sat up, completely forgetting about his happy place and he screeched “Bam! What the hell!?”
He sat on the floor, water dripping down his face, his hair absolutely soaked and starting to curl. He pulled on the tips trying to strain the water out as he screamed “You know how long it takes me to get my hair looking this good!”
Bam sprayed him in the face again.
“I warned you to stop playing with the catnip!” Bam shouted back, still wielding the spray bottle in front of him, just in case.
Khun glared at his boyfriend, the angriest he had ever been with him and he jumped to his feet, storming through their home, tail swishing, ears back and huffing out an agitated “Aaarrghhhh!”
When Bam heard a door slam shut somewhere in the apartment, he let the spray bottle fall to the floor and covered his face with his hands. A uneven sigh slipped through his fingers and he thought that maybe he had finally found a way to get his kitten back to normal.
And it worked.
For the rest of that day at least.
Khun returned to the lounge with his tail between his legs, his ears flat and a sad pout on his lips. Bam had already finished cleaning up the catnip from the carpet, erasing any trace of it, and he lounged on the couch. Spotting the sorry sight of his kitten, he opened his arms and Khun bound over, jumping onto him and snuggling into his chest with a whispered “I’m sorry.”
Bam hummed his forgiveness, holding his boyfriend tight and wiping away his tears with relief. It wasn’t until the following morning that he discovered they were crocodile tears.
He woke up late, the bed cold and empty and Bam was alone. Scrambling out of the bed, he fumbled his way through the apartment, dread stirring in his gut as he could only think of one reason as to why his kitten wouldn’t be in bed with him.
Khun certainly lived up to Bam’s unwanted expectations.
Bam found him in the usual place, the rug of the lounge, lying in a mountain of catnip that he had found God knows where, sniffing it and tasting it with the tip of his tongue. Bam sighed; as cute as the sight was, he was tired of all this. Thankfully, he now had a solution to his problem!
He staggered through to the kitchen, grabbing the spray bottle from its hiding place and he walked back into the lounge. He pointed the nozzle at his kitten and was far too tired and fed up to even bother warning him. He pulled the trigger… nothing came out.
Bam turned the nozzle to his face, inspecting it and twisting it in case he had turned it to the off position in error. He sprayed again at his boyfriend, his eyes slowly widening as Khun rolled on the floor, apparently paying no attention, but Bam knew that those laughs of “Nyaahahaha~!” were directed at him.
He twisted open the cap of the bottle and pulled it off, that’s when he spotted the straw to suck up the water was missing; cut off right where it meets the lid!
Damn.
Running into the kitchen, Bam tossed the bottle and hauled out the box of spares he had bought and locked away just in case Khun sabotaged them. He pulled out one of the many bottles, holding it over the sink as he opened it, ready to fill it with cold water; but as soon as the lid came off, despair drained all colour from his face.
The straw was gone.
He fell to his knees and checked bottle after bottle after bottle.
Destroyed.
Every single one of them.
Bam flopped onto the floor, curling up into a tight little ball and he contemplated the meaning of life.
Attempt Three
Bam didn’t have time to waste.
He needed a solution and he needed it now.
So he took some advice that he had gotten from Shibisu when this all started.
He already had the item that he needed; he’d purchased it along with the spray bottles as an absolute last resort that he hadn’t wanted to use, but Khun wasn’t leaving him with any other choice. He puffed out the air caught in his lungs and went to collect the item he had hidden away; then he waited until Khun fell asleep.
During one of Khun’s many catnaps on his bed of catnip, Bam snuck over to his kitten, carefully concealing the item behind his back. He lifted Khun up slightly as he crouched down, knowing that his kitten wouldn’t be fully coherent when he first woke, he whispered reassuring words to him “Shhhh, it’s okay. I’m just giving you something…”
A quiet click and Khun suddenly woke up, darting back from Bam and scratching at his throat; a horrible irritating itch there that he couldn’t get rid of. He snapped and glared over the obtrusion in front of his face, his eyes firmly locked on his boyfriend “What the hell have you done?”
Bam frowned and thought carefully about his words when he replied “You didn’t leave me any other choice.”
Khun let out a frustrated groan and scratched and scratched at his neck, the plastic circling it rubbing his skin uncomfortably; a cloudy white obscuring his vision and Khun wanted to scream.
A cone!
How embarrassing!
Not once in his entire life had Khun been subjected to the humiliation of a cone!
“Take it off, now!” He demanded as his fingers tried to undo the clasps keeping the cone together; unfortunately his long nails got in the way of the faffy lock on this particular design and he scrambled at the plastic getting nowhere.
“I can’t do that. Not until you admit you have a catnip problem.” Bam refused, even though it hurt his heart to see his kitten so frustrated and upset. “I want to help you Khun, but you need to help yourself first.”
He pleaded with his boyfriend but Khun only hissed at him, scratching at the cone and leaving red welts on his pale skin.
“Khun, stop that.” Bam tried to pull Khun’s hands away, the red marks looked painful and tore at his heart strings.
However, Khun just scowled at Bam; he may have listened to the other man and stopped clawing at himself but he was not happy with him. Turning his nose up at his boyfriend Khun faced away from him, ignoring the brunette trying to help him.
Bam sighed, feeling helpless and lost, but with nothing else to do or say, he climbed to his feet and returned to the sofa, watching over his sulking kitten still sitting in his pile of catnip.
Khun matched Bam’s sigh, tears pricking at his eyes and he lay down in his bed of leafy green.
It wasn’t the same.
He rolled over and covered himself with the calming grass but the cone made him uncomfortable; it rubbed at his skin and, worst of all, it prevented him from rubbing his hair and face into the luscious drug.
Flopping onto his back, Khun sighed again.
That was all Bam heard for the rest of the day.
Khun would wander listlessly around the apartment, occasionally throwing him pleading glances before lying down in his catnip. It wouldn’t take long for him to become annoyed at the cone interrupting his fun time on the rug and he would get up again and wander around.
It was around midday when Bam finally managed to tidy up the grass on the floor, hoovering it up and spraying the rug so it wouldn’t smell. Once he was done, Khun poked his coned pout into the lounge and sighed at the clean floor, leaving the room once again.
Bam felt horrible.
He really didn’t want to take it this far but he tried to think positively; it seemed to be working!
It was a couple of hours later that he realised he hadn’t seen his kitten for a while, and right on that thought, he heard a crash and a bang . Jumping to his feet, Bam ran through their home, searching for his precious kitten.
He found him sprawled on the spare bedroom floor; no cone around his neck and a small packet of dried up grass that Bam thought he had hidden extremely well.
Without a moment to lose, Bam rushed over to grab the offending packet just as Khun scrambled to his feet. They reached it at the same time, both of them grabbing an edge and pulling.
“Let it go, Khun!” Bam spoke in a low and dangerous tone but his kitten responded in kind.
“No! You let go!” An icy cold glare and the pair were suddenly half grappling with one arm each, their other hands still tugging at the plastic bag full of kitty delight.
They yelled nonsense at each other until Khun forcefully pushed his boyfriend away. Bam staggered backwards and they both lost their grip on the catnip. It felt like everything was in slow motion as Bam took a few involuntary steps back, both of them watching as the bag flew into the air. Bam was about to jump up and grab it as it seemed to fall in his direction...
That’s when it happened.
Thanks to their tussle, the little plastic pouch exploded, the plastic tearing apart and raining down little shreds of green; most of it landing on Bam. He coughed and spluttered as a hazy dust coated him and he tried to wave away the tiny specks floating in the air. He opened his eyes and called for his boyfriend, concern seeping out of his every pore, a need to make sure his kitten was okay “Khun!?”
For a moment, he panicked. Khun wasn’t standing in front of him as he had been before the incident; but when his gaze dropped and located his partner, his eyes widened and he took a step back, an intense fear coursing through his body and making his hairs stand on end.
“K-khun…” He stuttered, his voice barely there as he watched his boyfriend now on all fours. “K-khun, no…”
Another frantic step backwards and he whimpered as Khun’s pupils dilated, black swallowing the blue; fluffy blue ears atop his head lay flat against his hair and his tail was low and pointed. Bam gulped and his voice trembled as he desperately tried to wipe the catnip from his clothes “Khun, please…”
But it was too late.
Khun’s rear raised in the air and wriggled once, twice, thrice , and…
“Nyaaaa!”
“Aaaah!”
He pounced.
Bam screamed.
A brave soul was lost that day.
May he rest in peace.