Chapter Text
In Chuuya’s humble opinion, there are exactly two notable facts about Dazai Osamu. The first: he’s a notorious woman-lover, which matches up to his annoyingly good looks. The second, a little more contradictory to the first, is that he couldn’t bother to keep a significant other around for more than a week.
So when Dazai began dating the most popular girl in school, Sasaki Nobuko and kept dating her for over a month, it definitely came as a shock to Chuuya and most of the general student populace.
And sure, Chuuya’s happy for him, but still—
“Christ Nobuko, it was just a joke.”
Chuuya rolls onto his stomach, pretending to glare at his math homework as he watches Dazai pace back and forth in his room, looking thoroughly frustrated.
“Seriously, I wouldn’t have said it if you were gonna be so sensitive—are you offended by me calling you sensitive?!”
There’s a muffled wail on the phone and Chuuya stifles a snicker when Dazai shoots him an exasperated glance.
Can you believe this shit, he mouths and Chuuya rolls his eyes, twirling a cuckoo finger around his ear.
You picked this life.
Dazai shrugs wryly, before returning to the call. “Nobuko, honestly—wait, you know what? I’ll talk to you when you’re in the right mind to talk. See you.” Dazai ends the call in the middle of an outraged shriek, and throws his phone onto his bed with a groan.
“Wow, Sasaki sounds like such a pleasant girlfriend,” Chuuya snarks. Dazai flops onto the floor like a dead fish. “You have no idea.”
“I warned you against her,” Chuuya remarks. He sits up and scoots over to pat his head. “You never listen.”
To be fair, Chuuya had warned Dazai about the majority of his exes. For his sake obviously, not because he was jealous or anything. And even if Chuuya was jealous, so what?
He’d be a much better match for Dazai than any of the girls he’s dated anyway.
“They were pretty!” Dazai whines. “What’s the worst that could happen?”
“Uh, I dunno. You get stuck in a shitshow like Sasaki,” Chuuya replies dryly.
“Okay look—“
“Dazai, you complain about her literally all the time.”
“You don’t kn—“
“I do. You know why? Because I’m the one you complain to.” He fixes Dazai with a dry stare and a sheepish grin blooms across Dazai’s face.
Chuuya’s heart stutters. Dazai’s got this smile that’s so boyish and mischievous and makes Chuuya’s heart skip. He sorta dies a little every day from it, but it’s damn worth it.
Because Dazai always aims that particular smile at Chuuya , and despite knowing him for all their lives, he is not immune.
But on the other hand, Chuuya doesn’t mind listening to Dazai’s rants about his girlfriends. He admittedly takes a little vindictive pleasure from hearing about their arguments.
But hearing about Dazai’s sex life? And their dates? Blegh.
It makes Chuuya die a little and not in a good way.
“Okay, so maybe we’re going through something,” Dazai sighs. “It’s stupid.”
Chuuya rolls his eyes again and his hand begins to card through Dazai’s hair soothingly. “Keep going.”
“I made some joke about one of her friends that she’s been whining about and she got pissy. Which is dumb, because she hates that friend and now she’s defending her? I don’t get it,” Dazai mutters.
Chuuya hums as he begins to braid a strand of Dazai’s hair. “It’s a ‘girls’ friendship loyalty’ kinda thing, even if it’s a shitty friend. But yeah, it’s dumb. Fuck Sasaki lives.”
That earns him a laugh and Chuuya’s stomach does a lovely backflip.
Dazai has this laugh that Chuuya goddamn loves, starting in his chest and rolling into his throat like thunder. It’s warm and so infectious that Chuuya can’t help but smile too.
He wants to see that laugh on Dazai’s face forever.
“I already fucked one Sasaki life,” Dazai comments through his giggles and Chuuya makes a face. “But yeah, tonight, just...I need to forget about dating her.”
Chuuya shrugs, hoping Dazai hadn’t seen him cringe. “Yeah, she’s being shitty. It’ll work out though.
The words sound poisonous in his mouth.
“Chibi’s right!” Dazai agrees cheerfully, and he rolls onto his stomach, grasping Chuuya’s hand. “Wanna distract me from my woes of love?”
At this point, Chuuya really should be immune to Dazai’s constant affections, but he’s just a guy, one guy and his crush is holding his hand.
So he’s completely valid when he feels his heart rate spike to the goddamn roof. Chuuya hopes to god he’s not blushing.
“What did you have in mind, mackerel?”
“I was thinking...” Dazai’s finger traces circles on his palm and Chuuya shudders.
This is not a fair game. Chuuya’s mouth is dry when he whispers, “Thinking of?”
“We could play a new game I just got!” Dazai’s eyes sparkle. “It’s got racing and killing, two of your favorite pastimes—”
“ASSHOLE, THOSE WERE JOKES AND YOU KNOW IT.”
Dazai giggles (a sound that could light up cities). “I don’t know...Chuuya’s starting to sound like yakuza—”
“I’M NOT FUCK YOU—”
Dazai laughs even harder, and Chuuya drops on top of him, wondering if it’ll stop his laughter when he already feels his own quaking in his chest. Dazai pulls him flush to his chest, and Chuuya distantly recalls how Dazai’s exes complained about him being too cold.
He doesn’t feel that chill now; rather, Dazai is warm, a furnace in his cold room, and Chuuya has to fight the urge to melt into the sound of his heartbeat.
“So?” Dazai’s breath is whispery in his ear, his sweet breath fanning across his skin like a feather touch. “Wanna distract me, chibi?”
I’m already distracted, he wants to say.
Because honestly, how can Chuuya even think when they’re practically cuddling on the floor?! Chuuya scowls, burrowing himself into Dazai’s chest as he begins to run a lazy hand through his hair. “I—“
“Chuuya, please?”
Goddamn, Chuuya can practically see his stupid puppy eyes. Good thing he’s not looking at him directly or he would’ve fallen prey to Dazai’s whims.
“No,” he mumbles into Dazai’s chest and the hand in his hair stops.
“Why?”
Chuuya pries his face away from his best friend’s warmth and stares at him disparagingly, wondering if he’s as flushed as he feels.
“Because you still haven’t helped me finish math homework, idiot.”
Dazai’s face lights up like a fucking Christmas tree and Chuuya resists the urge to hide away in his arms again.
“Really? So if I help Chuuya finish his stinky math, he’ll play video games with me?” He looks like a puppy, sunshiney and hopeful, and Chuuya wants to die.
“N-No! We still have that reading for history to do, idiot!” he forces out and Dazai whines, rubbing his face into his hair.
“Chuuuuuyaaaa! Stop being responsible!”
Finally. Some normalcy.
“Hell no! Someone’s gotta keep you in line!” Chuuya jabs his stomach. “CHUUUUYAAAA!”
“NO.”
Dazai knees his stomach, Chuuya pinches his cheeks and all the while, he pretends his heart isn’t hammering from the playful contact.
He wishes Dazai’s heart was pounding just as hard too.
——
They fall asleep with the TV on and their homework unfinished.