Archive of Our Own ^beta

The first time it happened was during high school.

An aster flower was placed beside his lunch tray, the giver standing beside his table. Taeyong looked up at the boy. His face was as red as a tomato and he didn’t appear to be breathing, hands clasped behind his back as he looked at everything but Taeyong.

Taeyong took a subtle whiff. The boy was an alpha, unmistakable by the spicy undertone of his otherwise bland scent. The way he stood under Taeyong’s calculating gaze wasn’t alpha-like at all, though. He looked like he might faint, or cry, and if it wasn’t already embarrassing enough offering a courting gift to someone in the middle of the school lunch hall, then bursting into tears definitely would have done the trick.

A courting gift, his very first, at the ripe age of sixteen.

What an honour, some might have said. How lucky, some might have thought. But when Taeyong looked down at the flower’s purple petals then back up at the alpha who wouldn’t even look him in the eye, who’s scent had now turned sour with nerves, Taeyong didn’t think or feel any of those things.

He was not a fan of flowers.

His mother had received a flower from his father during their courtship, his grandmother had received one from his grandfather — every mated omega and beta he knew had received a flower as their first courting gift. 

How dull, Taeyong always thought. How unoriginal.

Taeyong had hoped that, if he were to ever receive an offer of courtship, that his first gift would be something more than a few colourful petals on a flimsy green stalk. Perhaps he had been too optimistic, too expectant. Alas, he hadn't accounted for his first offer to be while he was still in high school, either.

He pushed the aster to the edge of the table with a single finger.

“Can I help you?” He finally asked.

The alpha looked at him for the first time in the whole minute he had been standing there. He blinked, looked down at where Taeyong had flattened the stem of the flower beneath his index, then back up, his mouth agape.

“That—“ The boy’s voice cracked. “That’s for you.”

“I gathered.” Taeyong removed his hand. “But no thank you. Sorry.”

The boy looked as though he had been slapped. Perhaps a slap might have been less humiliating than having your courting gift rejected, Taeyong thought as he and the rest of the lunch hall watched the alpha snatch the flower in his fist and speed towards the doors.

“Taeyong,” his friend said from beside him. When Taeyong turned to him, he looked as shocked as he sounded. “Your first courting gift… and you refuse it?”

Taeyong turned back to his lunch. He picked up his blueberry muffin, slowly removing its paper casing.

“I didn’t like it.”

A scoff. “Didn't like it? Who cares if you liked the first gift or not! That was your very first one!”

“I care. I’m not a fan of flowers.”

His friend seemed properly offended. “You’re so stupid. You get a courting offer and you reject it because you don’t like flowers? Don’t you see how ridiculous that sounds?”

Taeyong really didn’t. He wasn’t fond of the flower nor its picker, so why would he accept either? He thought that was obvious, logical even, but his friend looked mad at him, his face scrunched into a scowl.

“Some of us would jump at the chance to be courted by someone, Taeyong. It’s not fair you have someone ask you then just brush them off like they’re nothing.”

The comment sounded extremely jealous. Taeyong could see it etched into each line of his friend’s face. He kept his mouth shut, shrugging instead, not knowing what to say to amend whatever he had supposedly done wrong, not really caring either way.

He was aware of all the eyes boring into him as he finished the rest of his food.

His friend didn’t speak to him for the remainder of their break, and when the bell rang he was gone, flouncing off without so much as a wave.

He didn't speak to Taeyong the next day either, nor the day after that. By next week they no longer hung out at break and lunch time, and by the week after that they acted as if they didn't know each other. Taeyong didn't mind. His friends at school had always been more acquaintances than anything else, and Taeyong refused to chase after someone who fell out with him over something as trivial as refusing a flower.

A year later Taeyong was offered the chance to court again. This time he was presented with a bluebell from a beta who was shorter than himself.

The beta looked nervous and Taeyong couldn’t blame him. It was rare for an omega to accept a courting gift from a beta in the first place, so this one really had no hope coming to the one omega that not only wasn’t fond of flowers, but wasn’t overly fussed about the idea of being courted by anyone either.

This boy certainly had courage, also more sense than the alpha from the lunch hall, because he offered his flower to Taeyong in a vacant corridor as opposed to half the school.

Taeyong again declined. He expected the boy to storm off much like the first had, but instead he just nodded. He took the rejection better than Taeyong could have asked for.

"I hope whoever courts you in the future treats you well," the beta had said, giving Taeyong a smile as he took his leave.

Taeyong lay awake in bed that night, wondering whether he'd just passed up on something great, whether that boy was who he could have called his mate a few years from now had he taken the blue dainty flower.

He didn't dwell on it. By the next day, he had put it to the back of his mind, stored with everything else he would vaguely remember and equally never forget later down the line.

No one offered Taeyong a courting gift again until his very last year of school. An alpha slid up beside him outside the school gates, three pink daisies covering his shy smile.

More flowers. Taeyong had to forcibly suppress an eye roll.

"Would you—?" The long-limbed alpha tried, but Taeyong beat him to it.

"No." It was a ballsy retort, especially to an alpha. Taeyong was eighteen now, along with the rest of his year. He had noticed the trend in alphas becoming annoyingly more hard headed and pompous with their age; he usually found that self-entitlement became the backbone of their entire personality. And according to his mother, their conceited mindset only gets more unbearable in the steps to full blown adulthood.

"Oh," the alpha said. Taeyong watched him, waiting for the shoe to drop, the outburst that would undoubtedly attract the attention of all the other students heading home — but that didn't happen. "No because of the flowers, or no because of me?"

Both. "Neither. Thanks for the offer, but I'm not interested in anything like that."

"Oh, right." The alpha frowned, looking down at the concrete. He looked upset, and for some reason that made Taeyong feel bad. Perhaps because he had been expecting a tantrum and instead he was met with a sad sigh. Taeyong may not have cared for flowers, or to be courted, and he’d been told before that he was horribly blunt, but that didn’t mean he was entirely heartless.

"Sooyoung, in class twelve," Taeyong said. The alpha looked up at him, face confused. "I know she likes pink. I also know she hasn't been courted by anyone yet. She would probably love to receive some flowers."

He waited for the alpha to get it, and once he did, he smiled very wide.

"That’s… That’s great to know. I'll go and talk to her. Thank you, Taeyong," he said and with that he was gone, pacing away with a small skip in his step.

Taeyong allowed himself a small smile. Perhaps he had done something good that day.

*

A tulip was placed beside his stack of books in the library during his first year of university.

It was yellow. Not one of his favourite colours. The giver was an alpha Taeyong shared a couple of lectures with. He couldn’t remember ever speaking to him prior to this offering, and when Taeyong inhaled his scent, he guessed why.

His scent was musky, tangible. He smelled like a lot of bravado and inflated ego, and if his scent hadn't showcased it, the expression on the alpha’s face certainly did. He had the exact kind of scent Taeyong knew the other omegas on campus would probably fall head over heels for. It made Taeyong’s nose wrinkle.

The alpha didn’t shake in fear beside him like the alpha from the lunch hall, he didn't nervously bite his lip like the beta, nor grace him with a shy smile like the last alpha had. Instead he stood tall, arms crossed over his chest with a smug smirk on his thin lips. He wasn’t unattractive, but there wasn’t much noteworthy about him either.

“This is my offer to you,” he said, unfolding one of his arms to point at the flower, as if Taeyong had somehow missed its glaringly yellow hue. “It’s pretty, right? Picked it this morning, knew it would suit you. You wanna accept my gift?”

Over confidence was always a turn off, Taeyong thought. The alpha spoke as if he had offered Taeyong a sports car instead of something he already didn’t like in a colour he wasn’t fond of. Not that a sports car would have changed his answer on the courting offer. He highly doubted driving fast would make him any more keen on this alpha.

He pushed this flower to the edge of the table too, away from his pile of revision books.

“No, thank you.” 

“No?” The alpha said dubiously. “What do you mean?”

“I’m not interested. Sorry.” Taeyong grabbed a book off his stack, making himself look busy.

“You’re kidding, right?” The alpha huffed a laugh. It was patronising, the omega within Taeyong wanted to cower, he pushed it down. “Is it the gift? Too good for a simple flower, huh? I can easily get you more, if it’s such a big deal.”

“I’m being courted already,” Taeyong lied. He was correct in his assumption that it would shut the alpha up, because he promptly snapped his mouth closed.

“Oh,” he mumbled a moment later. “Courted by who? I don't smell another alpha on you. What did they give you?”

“They're from a different university,” Taeyong lied again. “And I'd prefer to keep my gift a secret. So, if you don’t mind? I’m really behind on this essay and it’s due today.”

The alpha had snatched the flower much like the alpha from a few years ago before turning on his heel, muttering words under his breath that Taeyong couldn’t catch.

Taeyong rolled his eyes, dropping his book back on the table to grab a cookie from his small stash.

*

Baekhyun's kisses were frightfully intimate, to say he had only met Taeyong that night.

Taeyong's first kiss. He hadn't imagined his first whilst still being a university freshman, nor had he imagined it being with an older alpha that he met at a dorm party.

Pushed into a small, vacant corner of the room, Baekhyun kissed him slowly; hands cupped around Taeyong's face as one might hold a lover, drawing him close only to kiss him deeper.

His omega within preened. This was everything it could want, a strong alpha clouding his senses with their scent, their attention solely on him, protecting him from a horde of prying eyes, from other alphas who might have also wanted a taste of the vodka on his lips.

Taeyong himself could only sympathise with his omega. He had to admit, Baekhyun was an excellent kisser, even if he didn't have another point of reference. But with each fervent kiss pressed to his lips, then along his jaw, and then down the column of his throat, Taeyong couldn't stop the sense of unfulfillment that settled in his chest.

Maybe he had watched too many movies. They always depicted a first kiss as if it were fireworks inducing. Taeyong wasn't so sure he felt anything to that extent. He felt warm, cheeks flushed in both embarrassment and arousal, but that was it. He didn't see Baekhyun as anything beyond an alpha of this night, which in a few years would only be a vivid memory. He didn't see a courtship or anything equally as serious. Something told him Baekhyun didn't see him as much more either, but it was okay. Taeyong would surely store this milestone and a snapshot of the alpha's face who helped him achieve it in his mind, to remember forever, and he supposed that meant something.

"You're so pretty," Baekhyun murmured between kisses. "You make so many pretty noises."

The whine Taeyong let out was silenced as quickly as it came, Baekhyun capturing his lips once more.

Taeyong lost more than his first kiss to the older alpha that night.

A quick blowjob in some no-name student's bathroom wasn't how he imagined his first time being intimate with someone below the belt would go, either.

The alpha was generous despite how hurriedly he brought Taeyong to the edge, fearful someone might intrude on their moment. Taeyong had shook against the sink, overwhelmed, skin on fire as he rode out his high. Baekhyun had kissed him again and Taeyong could taste himself on his tongue. It was gross, it was  beyond exhilarating, and Taeyong kissed back with just as much vigour.

Hearing Baekhyun praise him as he returned the favour had arousal simmering in Taeyong's gut once more. If Baekhyun noticed he was inexperienced, he didn't mention it, only encouraged with a hand fisted in his hair and the other smoothing along Taeyong's jaw.

Baekhyun walked him back to his dorm that night after seeing the looks cast upon them as they left the bathroom; flushed, hair a mess, unmistakable in what they had been doing. Baekhyun was one of the nice alphas, Taeyong concluded. Perhaps it came with age. He had guided Taeyong back through the party with an arm around his waist and a dangerous glint in his eye, a silent challenge to anyone who might have been stupid enough to try anything.

"Get lots of rest, I remember you saying you had a lecture tomorrow." Baekhyun grinned as Taeyong opened his door.

"You too." Taeyong smiled back.

They didn't kiss goodbye. Baekhyun left him on his doorstep with a playful lift of his eyebrows, hands in his pockets as he sauntered away. "See you around, Lee Taeyong."

His omega whined pitfully at the alpha's retreating form. Taeyong pushed it down.

It was fine.

He knew Baekhyun was only for tonight. Hopefully they would catch each other again before the term drew to a close and Baekhyun would graduate with a degree in his hand, just so Taeyong could say hi again, and perhaps thank you.

*

“Will you accept my courting gift?”

Taeyong watched Doyoung’s face change. His friend looked at the alpha, dramatically down on one knee with his arms presenting his gift, right in the middle of campus. The situation wasn’t really surprising for Taeyong, he had of course experienced something similar himself, but Doyoung sat there paralysed, eyes wider than Taeyong had ever seen them as he took in the alpha before him.

Eventually, a string of incoherent words stuttered out of his friend's mouth, each one dying in the air before they could form a functioning sentence. This didn’t deter the alpha at all.

“I can get you something else, if you would prefer?” he said, sounding so incredibly hopeful.

His gift was a silver necklace, encased in a long black velvet box. It was beautiful, it looked expensive too. The gift alone showed the alpha’s dedication in wanting to court his friend, never mind kneeling in front of him with a crowd of other nosey students watching the exchange.

The alpha seemed sweet. He had plush cheeks complemented by deep dimples. Taeyong had seen him around before but he couldn’t remember his name. He assumed Doyoung knew him to some degree, whether he knew him well or not was in the air; Doyoung’s face wasn’t telling him much, he still looked as bewildered as he had done thirty seconds ago, and Taeyong didn’t think that was going to change any time soon unless he intervened.

Taeyong gave the alpha an encouraging nod before nudging Doyoung’s side. His friend’s head snapped towards him, he closed his still gaping mouth and swallowed.

They had spoken about courting before in the two years that they had known each other. Doyoung had been courted in the past (which wasn’t surprising, his friend was extremely pretty), but his previous courtships had never turned into anything serious. 

Doyoung liked the whole courting thing, he liked receiving gifts and seeing how far an alpha was willing to go to prove themselves a worthy mate. But Doyoung hadn’t been courted in a while, and he clearly hadn’t been expecting a handsome alpha that smelled like a mix of coffee and cedar wood to come bearing such an elegant gift during his lunch break.

Taeyong gave his friend a reassuring smile. He wasn’t sure whether Doyoung would accept the offer or not, but Taeyong silently let him know he was there, supporting either way.

Time seemed to slow when his friend turned back to the red-cheeked alpha. Doyoung eyed him a second time, then the gift, still outstretched in waiting hands. Taeyong held his breath when Doyoung tentatively reached out a moment later, taking the necklace out of the alpha’s hold and placing it on his own lap.

Offer accepted.

The smile that overtook the alpha’s face was immeasurable. Taeyong felt his own chest pang at the sight, and felt it pang again when he saw Doyoung’s cheeks flush. The small crowd that had gathered whooped and cheered, only adding to his friend’s flustered state.

The alpha clearly didn’t mind the audience, he only had eyes for Doyoung as he reached out his hand towards the necklace case again. “May I?” he asked.

Doyoung pulled the chain from its sponge cushioning and put it in the alpha’s palm. Taeyong scooted over on the bench so the alpha could take his place and gently clasp the necklace around his friend’s neck. It looked even better on, although Taeyong didn’t think the beauty of the chain could outshine the smile that split Doyoung’s lips apart.

Taeyong soon found out that the alpha’s name was Jaehyun, and he apparently shared almost all his classes with Doyoung.

And Jaehyun, well, he was quite the model alpha.

His second gift to Doyoung was a bracelet, from the same range as the silver necklace. The third was a ring, also matching. The fourth was a pair of stud earrings and two tickets to a small indie concert. The fifth, sixth and seventh were a bundle of things; flowers, chocolate, one-of-a-kind trinkets and clothing items — things the alpha steadily learned Doyoung liked.

It didn't take long for Doyoung to become entirely smitten. His friend eventually insisted that more gifts weren't necessary, but Jaehyun still indulged, taking him to a cabin by the lake for a weekend. When his friend returned he was glowing, somehow looking more in love than he had been when he left, and Taeyong felt something funny poking at his gut as Doyoung relayed the details of their get away.

It took a few more weeks of observing his friend's blossoming courtship to realise that what he felt was envy. It coloured him green as he watched Doyoung lean into the alpha’s side, push his face into the crook of his neck and relax in his hold. It prickled under his skin as he fell into step behind the pair, watching their entwined hands as they walked across campus, entirely in their own world.

Envy only sunk its claws in deeper as the weeks turned into months, reaching out a nagging talon to scrape along an untouched part of his heart. It was odd, feeling envy for something he usually had little interest in, and it was difficult trying to distinguish whether it was how he truly felt or whether it was his omega within, yearning for what Taeyong was merely a bystander to.

"You know, if you stopped looking at every alpha like you want to kill them, you might have got another courting offer by now," Doyoung said as they laid on the grass outside the business building.

It was warm today. No breeze, just the sun's rays shining down and heating up his skin.

"Don't say that, babe," admonished Jaehyun, who was stretched out on Doyoung's other side.

It was a couple of months until final exams, then the three of them would be done with university entirely, hopefully off to greener pastures.

"I'm not bothered about being courted," Taeyong said. Unfortunately, he had known Doyoung for three years now, and his friend could tell that wasn't a full truth without even needing to look at him.

"No, what bothers you is that every alpha who comes along only offers you flowers."

"I don't like flowers."

"Didn't that one guy offer you a locket?" asked Jaehyun.

"Yeah. He also put a picture of himself inside of it."

"Yikes," Jaehyun said. "I can understand why you refused."

"Alright, if you don't accept flowers, then what would be the appropriate courting gift for you?" Doyoung questioned.

His boyfriend snorted beside him. "Why? So you can start telling all the alphas around campus what to get Taeyong as a gift?"

Jaehyun was silenced with a wheeze as Doyoung swatted his chest.

"Well?" Doyoung prodded, turning his head to look at Taeyong.

What would be the appropriate gift? Nothing particular came to mind, all he knew was that he didn't want another damn flower.

Although, even if he was offered something more extravagant, Taeyong still wasn't sure he would take it. He thought about what he might have said if Jaehyun had instead offered him the silver necklace that sat around Doyoung's neck — he found himself just as conflicted.

Jaehyun was a nice alpha. They had become friends in the year he'd been courting Doyoung. Taeyong supposed he wouldn't mind an alpha like him, but no matter how much he thought about it, how much he dwelled on it, Taeyong just couldn't see it.

He couldn't envision the day he would ever accept a courtship offer. He couldn't see himself in a relationship at all, even. Couldn't see himself getting married or having children or wearing a mating bite on his neck. Taeyong had heard these were the things other omegas dreamed about vividly. He was twenty-one now, had been an omega since birth, and still, he couldn't relate.

He later determined that this was the root of his envy; it would explain why somewhere deep down he (or perhaps, his omega) longed for what his friend had despite not actually being able to visualise it. 

“Something more original than a flower,” Taeyong answered.

Doyoung looked as though he was about to complain, but Jaehyun stopped him, silently shaking his head. Taeyong was thankful. He closed his eyes, head towards the sky, thoughts once again pushed to the back of his mind, left to stew until something or someone inevitably pulled them back to the surface.

*

Graduation brought a party and a party brought him to Yuta.

Yuta didn't kiss like Baekhyun. Whereas the older alpha's kisses had been undulating, deep, Yuta's kisses were hot, heated, and scarce. Taeyong struggled to keep up with how fast the alpha alternated between kissing his lips then sucking marks along his throat.

Like Baekhyun though, Yuta was only for a night. He was certain of this.

"I'm getting a flight back to Japan in a couple of days," the alpha said earlier that evening. The implication was clear as he squeezed Taeyong's waist and pulled him closer; whatever happened tonight meant no strings attached. That was fine by Taeyong. The less threads tied the better.

He did more with Yuta than he did with Baekhyun.

They didn't make love, because making love was reserved for courtships, for mates, for those who loved one another. Instead they fucked in the emptiness of Yuta's dorm room, with cardboard boxes stacked high by the door, ready to leave with the alpha on a flight back to his home country.

What a way to end his time in university, Taeyong thought, pushed into sheets that smelled like kindling firewood and cinnamon and moaning into the dead of night; allowing the alpha to pull noises from him that he would surely find himself embarrassed by when his head was clearer. But for now it didn't matter, and Taeyong revelled in the feeling of being filled over and over, the heat simmering low in his gut and the fire licking up his spine.

It was a lot, it was good, but it wasn't everything he had imagined.

It was another milestone without all the fanfare Taeyong had expected to come along with it. Taeyong wasn't disappointed, he had expected this, and it was okay. He would store this moment in his mind regardless, Yuta's very own snapshot taped to it so he could forever be remembered as his first.

He wasn't sure whether Yuta knew he had a big part to play in an aspect of Taeyong's life experiences, nor was he sure that Baekhyun had, but that was also okay. They didn't need to know, being there was enough. And Taeyong hoped they might remember him too somewhere in their own future, even if he was only a fleeting thought.

There was no dorm to walk back to that night, only a train back to his parent's house. He left Yuta with a farewell and the alpha pressed a kiss to his cheek as he walked out the door.

"Take care, Taeyong."

Taeyong stood outside Yuta's dorm as his omega protested, demanding more of the same, crying because it already knew that Taeyong wasn't going to turn back around.

His omega was right. Yuta wasn't there to stay, not with Taeyong, not even in this country. It was useless though, Taeyong couldn't make his omega understand the variables of human responsibilities or even interaction. All it saw was mate potential, and it got stroppy when Taeyong refused someone who could have been a good second half to them both.

Like always, Taeyong pushed it down.

He pushed it down again a year later when another alpha kissed him sweetly and unravelled him against soft bed sheets.

Again when his next fling came around. And the time after that, then the next.

His omega was ruthless the day Taeyong was asked if he wanted to court by the alpha who shared his bed that night and Taeyong had done what he always had, refused. For weeks his omega cried, hurt, longing, craving. It banged against his innermost self like a petulant child.

Why? Why refuse? Taeyong would hear it scream in frustration.

I don't know. Taeyong would answer.

His career was a good distraction. Taeyong joined a small record label, his degree more than enough to show he was adept in the field. Any prejudice that came with him being an omega was expelled the moment they heard the work he had produced.

It didn't take long for people to start coming to him for advice, asking for his creative input. It wasn't long until he was given his very own studio instead of sharing one with colleagues.

The company grew bigger, more reputable. They started collaborating with well-known producers and musical artists alike, gaining more press coverage on their activities, more internet articles, more applications from people all across the country who wanted to join a growing label.

Taeyong was at the forefront of it all. He attended the meetings with big clients, he took their jobs and produced their albums and singles. And for the first time in a long time Taeyong felt an unbelievable amount of fulfillment when he flicked the radio on and a song he had made was number one on the charts.

There were more people in between his musical achievements, more that made his omega upset and more that offered him chances to court, but Taeyong continued moving, continued working, bottling up the emotions he wasn't qualified to deal with until the bottle began to crack around the edges.

He would meet up with Doyoung and Jaehyun and stare at their matching mating bites when he thought they weren't looking. He would watch them do mundane things in their apartment, their home, watch them cook dinner or clean the dishes and steal kisses and Taeyong would sit there and yearn. Would let envy's claws pierce deeper, prickle under his skin and colour him green again and again, over and over.

It was inevitable that he would later be confronted with Doyoung's sympathetic sigh, his friend's hands clasped on either side of his face and his big, worried eyes looking right into Taeyong's own.

"Why do you do it, Yong?" he asked, not for the first time in their years-long friendship.

Taeyong swallowed. His omega whined. If Taeyong himself couldn't make sense of it, what hope did he have in giving his friend an answer?

"I don't know," he said back. His voice wavered. He hated how he couldn't stop his voice from shaking.

Doyoung pulled him to his chest just as the first tear fell, held him close as his shoulders shook and ran a comforting hand through the hair on Taeyong's nape.

"It'll be okay, Yong. I promise."

Taeyong held onto those words. He held onto his friend even tighter.

*

There was a new barista at the café across the street. He was so tall that Taeyong had to tilt his head up to meet his eyes.

‘Youngho’ his nametag read. Blueberry muffins were what Taeyong first smelled.

It was odd for an alpha’s scent to be so sweet. The spicy undertone all alphas had was still there, lingering in the background, but it was easily overshadowed by a concoction of other sugary scents; the one in the center of it all being blueberry muffins.

Youngho graced him with a warm smile. It made his cheeks plush and his brown eyes shine.

“Good afternoon. What can I get for you?”

A strawberry milkshake and a slice of lemon drizzle cake were pushed towards Taeyong a few minutes later, with another kind smile from his server on the side.

Taeyong returned it, nodding gratefully as he retreated to his usual spot by the window.

He liked this café. It was a good place to escape the rush of work. They were dealing with a few big clients recently, meaning every producer, executive and technician were on edge to make sure things went according to plan. The café was decidedly better than the staff break room, and even though Taeyong had his own studio, the same four walls grew rather tiresome after a while.

This café made nice desserts too. Taeyong was certain he had tried every kind cake they sold. It was hard to choose a favourite, even harder to resist buying more than just one slice each time he stopped by, but Taeyong was rather fond of their carrot cake. Unfortunately, their carrot cake was only available on certain days and today hadn't been one of them. Lemon drizzle was a good enough alternative.

"Excuse me," came a voice from his left.

Taeyong whipped his head around only to be met with the new barista. Youngho was still wearing his apron and a pair of disposable gloves, in his hand he held a credit card.

"You left this at the register."

Taeyong blinked. He grabbed his wallet off the table, flicking through the sleeves.

"Oh," he said a moment later, reaching his hand out and gently taking his card back. He turned in his chair so he could bow deeply to the alpha. "Thank you so much. I'm not usually so forgetful."

"First time for everything, right?" Youngho quipped.

He was very handsome, with a strong jaw and full lips and lengthy brown hair, carefully tucked behind his ears. Taeyong found himself admiring. He didn't think blueberry muffins had ever smelled so divine.

"But you're more than welcome." Youngho bowed back. "I really hope you enjoy the cake," he added, then he was gone.

Taeyong frowned. He pulled his plate towards him and tugged the small, square cake topper out of his lemon drizzle slice to read its inscription.

'Today's cake made by: Youngho'

Taeyong smiled, if only slight. When he glanced back at the register, the alpha was already looking in his direction. His lip quirked when he noticed Taeyong had a hold of the cake topper, then he turned his attention to a customer coming up to order.

Taeyong turned back to his lunch, picking up his fork and breaking off a piece of his cake. It was wonderful, light and fluffy and just the right amount of zingy.

He caught the alpha's eye again as he left the café. Taeyong gave him an appreciative nod, Youngho gave him a smile back. 

*

"Hello again. What can I get for you?"

Taeyong was only mildly surprised by the recognition on Youngho's face as he stepped up to the counter. It had been over three weeks since he last stopped by, after all.

He'd almost forgotten that the alpha smelled like blueberry muffins, his nose flooded with the warm scent on his next inhale. He'd almost forgotten just how charming his smile was, too.

His order was placed in front of him soon enough, to-go this time since Taeyong had a meeting to attend. Youngho balanced the box containing his vanilla cupcake on top of his cup holder, waiting for Taeyong to take both before letting go.

He had very nice hands. Also a very nice taste in rings.

"How was the lemon drizzle?" Youngho asked before Taeyong could turn away. He grinned when Taeyong raised an eyebrow at him.

"Nice," Taeyong replied after a beat. Youngho looked as though he was waiting for him to elaborate, but Taeyong only lifted his other brow up too as he took his leave.

He threw a look over his shoulder as he opened the café door. He felt a smile tug at his lips when he saw Youngho watching him with narrowed eyes. He let the door slam shut behind him.

When he got back to his studio he discovered that his cupcake was also made by the alpha. It tasted just as good as the lemon drizzle, and maybe Taeyong was imagining that this particular cupcake seemed to have more frosting than its counterparts he'd eyed behind the display glass. 

He dropped the cake topper scribbled with the alpha's name into a spare dish by his mixing console before getting back to work.

 *

"Which cake would you like today?"

Taeyong tilted his head at the alpha. Youngho arched his brow back.

"What makes you think I'm buying cake today?" Taeyong questioned. It was the most he had said to the alpha in all his stops by the café since the credit card incident. Youngho looked amused.

"When don't you buy cake?" he shot back.

Taeyong frowned at him. It only made the alpha's smile stretch wider. The scent of blueberry muffins seemed to amplify, it stuck to the roof of Taeyong's mouth even after a couple of swallows.

"Carrot cake," Taeyong said curtly.

Youngho returned with his cake slice a moment later, handing him the plate instead of sliding it to him on the counter like he had been doing before, like every other server did.

Taeyong took hold of it. He could feel the weight of the alpha's hand through the ceramic. His nose twitched, he met Youngho's eyes again a second before the alpha let go of the plate. Honey-brown shone back, glinting curiously.

"Not made by me today, I'm afraid," Youngho said, gaze flicking down to the cake topper. "Jungwoo made this batch."

Taeyong recalled being served by Jungwoo before. He was a tall omega with a buttery scent. Taeyong rather liked him.

"Am I supposed to be disappointed by that news?" Taeyong dared, because there was no one else in the queue and he'd had a dull day thus far. He watched for the alpha's reaction.

Youngho’s eyes narrowed just like they did before in faux annoyance.

"You should be. I make a much better carrot cake. You're definitely missing out."

Taeyong hummed. He wondered whether this could be considered flirting. Whether this was just how the alpha was or if the look Youngho was giving him was as obvious as it seemed.

"Can't miss what I haven't tried," Taeyong lilted, walking away before the alpha could respond.

Taeyong could feel eyes on him from the moment he sat down. It didn't take long to figure out who was watching him. He caught Youngho's gaze from his table more than once after confirming his assumption.

The alpha didn't look abashed at being caught staring, instead he flashed Taeyong smiles, pointed looks and arched brows from his place behind the counter each time it happened. He seemed to be enjoying himself. Taeyong didn't want to give him the satisfaction, so he made a show of turning away.

He managed to get through four pages of his book uninterrupted before the smell of blueberries wafted into his space. He peeked over his novel to find the alpha wiping down the table in front of him, not so subtly trying to lock eyes with him again.

"It's bland, right?" Youngho said once Taeyong gave in and lifted his head.

Taeyong looked back down at his empty plate.

"Far from it," he played along. "I'm not sure how any other could compare, if I'm being honest."

The alpha turned to his table, taking a slow step until he was standing before it.

"If you happen to stop by again tomorrow then I can prove you otherwise."

Taeyong couldn't stop his brows from shooting up. "You've started selling carrot cake on Fridays now too?"

"No." The corner of Youngho's mouth twitched. "But to prove that I'm right, I'll happily make you a carrot cake tomorrow. Then you'll see that mine is better."

Taeyong gave the alpha a once over. He couldn't help but be intrigued, both by Youngho himself and this little back and forth they'd been doing.

It was clear Youngho thought the same, his offer had intent behind it; permission to build the bridge between them that thus far only had the foundations in place. What the alpha wanted to bring across, Taeyong had a vague idea. The looks Youngho gave him did not go unmissed, and Taeyong couldn't lie and say he didn't enjoy them.

Youngho was very handsome, somehow even more charming when he was being whimsical.

Taeyong checked the time, then packed his book away. He met Youngho's eyes when he stood up, the alpha still standing silently by his table.

"Fine." Taeyong made his way past the other. "But if it's bad, then I'm not paying for it."

Youngho's deep chuckle escorted him out the door. "Deal," he said.

Taeyong's omega perked up. Taeyong pushed it down.

*

The carrot cake Youngho made was in fact better than Jungwoo's. It was soft with creamy frosting, wonderfully sweet with just the right amount of cinnamon to complement, making it a melt-in-the-mouth kind of treat.

Taeyong made a point of not disclosing this purely out of spite, because the alpha had been sitting across from him waiting for his verdict for the better part of five minutes now, and Taeyong had a thing against being proven wrong.

Unfortunately for him, the alpha saw it in his face. When Youngho smiled, it was luminous, knowing and smug. Taeyong sneered.

"I'm still not paying for it." he said before shoving another forkful in his mouth.

The alpha held his hands up. "That's fine. I got the approval I wanted. Although, I think I'm owed at least one more thing, considering you got a whole cake for free. And not even on the day we sell carrot cake."

Taeyong frowned at him, watching as Youngho circled a finger on the polished wood of the table. The alpha's phone chimed signaling the end of his break, but he remained where he was, looking at Taeyong intently.

"What do you want?"

Youngho smiled.

"Your name."

*

Taeyong wasn't unaccustomed to being flirted with, he'd had his fair share of suggestive comments over the years. The advances he usually received were mediocre at best (listening to an alpha trying to imply that they had a big cock for ten solid minutes was something he'd been subjected to on more than one occasion), so much so that Taeyong gave up on the notion that any alpha at all actually knew how to gain the affections of an omega or beta.

Youngho, however, seemed to be going against every presumption Taeyong previously had.

His flirtations had been somewhat subtle before — they could have been mistaken for overly cordial customer service, by someone less analytical — but now he had Taeyong's name, he seemed even more emboldened.

Taeyong's coffee was placed on the counter between them. He picked up the paper cup and immediately turned it around.

'Taeyong', was scrawled on the side in black marker.

It was pointless, considering this café didn't have an infinite amount of to-go orders like a Starbucks would have, and that this café was notoriously empty at 5pm on a Wednesday; Taeyong being the only customer standing at the counter.

His questioning brow was met with a nonchalant shrug. Youngho brought him his red velvet slice a moment after, the small box also had his name written across the top of it.

It soon became a thing with all of Taeyong's to-go cakes and drinks. After a while the scribble changed to 'Tae'. The week after it became 'Yong'. The week after that it morphed into 'Yongie', and it hadn't changed since.

Taeyong wasn't oblivious to the puzzled looks he received from other customers when they caught sight of the ink on his orders, looking down at their own to see it void of any special inscription. He didn't miss the frowns from them the couple of times Youngho pushed a cupcake beside his already purchased cake slice, knowing that he hadn't ordered any extra desserts.

"New recipe I tried," Youngho would explain. "This is part of the test batch. Give me your opinion next time you stop by?"

"It was good." Taeyong would inform the alpha on his next visit. He never elaborated, and he felt no shame in flashing his teasing smile right in Youngho's face.

The alpha's brows would furrow in exasperation, but he would smile back nonetheless, even though it looked like he was desperately trying not to.

"Bad choice," Youngho always said on the days Taeyong picked a dessert that was made by a different worker. "Are you sure you don't want something different?"

Taeyong would decline just to see the alpha fail to hide his frown as he went off to retrieve the baked treat, returning with a ghost of a pout on his plump lips.

It got to the point where Youngho would scoff indignantly at Taeyong's apparently terrible choices in dessert.

"You're setting yourself up for disappointment," the alpha lilted one afternoon, pushing his order towards him before crossing his arms. "Ten makes famously bad strawberry tarts."

It earned him a smack upside the head from said omega barista as he passed by. Taeyong had seen Ten press an affectionate kiss to the alpha's cheek more than once before, so he knew the slap was in jest, even as the omega walked away grumbling curses at the alpha. Taeyong grinned as Youngho rubbed at his head.

"Then why don't you make me one yourself, if you think you can do better?" he challenged, enjoying the way Youngho's eyes sharpened at the provocation.

He should have clocked onto the fact that the alpha was extremely competitive. He also should have expected the strawberry tart that was pushed towards him the next time he stopped by.

"Try it," Youngho ordered.

Taeyong did, right there at the register, ignoring the few people watching him from their tables.

"I think you'll find I can do better," the alpha said, his eyes darting down to where Taeyong was licking a dollop of cream from his lips.

Taeyong wasn't usually so brazen, but Youngho's stare sent a tingle rattling up his spine. It was what urged him to poke his tongue out that bit further before letting out a hum, knowing he had the alpha's full attention.

Riling alphas up was entirely too easy. Taeyong would be lying if he said he didn't relish in the way Youngho's scent thickened.

"I never said it was good."

The alpha smirked.

"You didn't need to."

October brought icy winds in tow and with it came even more stops by the café. It wasn't a secret Taeyong liked to indulge in a frankly unhealthy amount of hot chocolate during the colder months. The café sold exceptionally good hot chocolate too, and it always came with a complimentary cookie.

The single cookie on his saucer became two whenever a certain alpha was serving. Taeyong would frown at Youngho and the alpha would place a finger over his lips in response, our secret.

All of the extra treats and fancy lettering on his cups came at a price though. Youngho never wanted much, he only wanted answers to his questions.

What's your favourite colour? Favourite cake flavour? Do you only eat sweet things? Do you ever eat like a sandwich or something? No, sweet potato snacks do not count. What's your favourite season? Oh, how come you like autumn so much? What do you do for a living? Holy shit, you're basically famous. How does it feel knowing a song you made is actually one of my favourites, eh? Not that interesting? Okay, noted. What's it like working with those idol groups? Think you could sneak me an autograph one time? I'll make you ten carrot cakes in exchange. Do you need a pianist, at all? I can play piano. Agh, worth a shot. What do you like doing in your spare time? Cool, I hang with my friends a lot too. Are Doyoung and Jaehyun married? Not yet, huh. Have they been mates long?

"Have you ever been courted?" Youngho asked.

It was Saturday, just past 6pm. The café was supposed to be closed for customers by now, but Youngho and Jungwoo were the only ones working, and the tall omega didn't mind him staying while they cleaned up.

The alpha's question was innocent on the surface, nothing more than a follow up to Taeyong's anecdote about how Jaehyun courted Doyoung, but when Taeyong met Youngho's eyes, there was something different there.

He was looking at Taeyong a little too closely, like he was trying to gage his reaction, see what Taeyong was really thinking past the usual stoicness of his expression.

They said eyes were the gateway to the soul. Taeyong swallowed, the scent of blueberry muffins clung to his palate, his omega stirred naggingly in his chest.

He broke their gaze, eyes flicking back down to his boxed cupcake, ready to take home.

"No," Taeyong answered honestly. Before Youngho could respond, he asked, "Have you ever courted someone?"

The answer didn't matter, it was just better than delving into something Taeyong would rather keep buried.

"Yes," Youngho said after the silence. "They never worked out."

The alpha didn't say anything else. Taeyong didn't press, he left the café with his cupcake in hand and a small wave at both baristas. Youngho gave him a smile back.

*

"I'll have a coffee, with two espresso shots."

Youngho stared at him wide-eyed. He opened his mouth before closing it again, a small crease appearing between his brows.

"Two espresso shots? At almost 6pm?"

"That's what I said."

Youngho narrowed his eyes. "Are you alright?"

Taeyong sighed, waving his credit card. "I'm fantastic. Can I please have my coffee now?"

The alpha looked as though he was going to argue, but decided against it when Taeyong's agitated pheromones seemed to hit his nose. Youngho left to make his drink, he came back worrying his lip between his teeth.

"Did you want cake?" he asked quietly.

"No." The sharpness of his own voice caught him off guard. Taeyong shook his head, another sigh escaping his lips. He looked back up at Youngho, softening his tone when he said, "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be snappy. That wasn't aimed at you, I promise. I'm just..." he trailed off, running a hand through his hair with a frustrated grunt.

Youngho smiled at him. It was far more than Taeyong deserved at that moment. He felt even more guilty when the alpha waved him off with a chuckle.

"Go sit down, Taeyong. I'll come over in a minute."

Taeyong hung his head, but did as the alpha told him, taking a table near the back of the café, far away from the couple of other customers sipping drinks and eating treats late.

He only realised he'd zoned out looking at his coffee for a good few minutes when the alpha came and stood beside him.

Youngho held a mug in one hand and cupcake in the other. He slid into the seat across, putting the cake down before he reached for Taeyong's coffee and switched it for the mug.

"What's this?" Taeyong asked, looking at the orange liquid inside.

"An herbal tea. Chamomile," the alpha answered. "Definitely better for stress than a double espresso coffee. Try it."

There was something akin to a flutter in Taeyong's stomach as the alpha grinned at him, a tug in his chest where his omega preened. When Youngho gave him an encouraging nod, Taeyong cradled the mug and took a sip.

"Nice, right? I added sugar because I didn't think you would drink it otherwise."

"Stop that," Taeyong murmured into the mug.

"Stop what?"

"Knowing stuff about me."

Youngho beamed at him. "I'm a visual learner. I'd be a bit dense if I hadn't worked out that you like everything sweetened by now. Don't think I don't notice all the sugar packets you always leave on your saucer."

Taeyong bit the inside of his cheek. He took another sip of the tea, catching the alpha's overly pleased look out of the corner of his eye.

"So, do you want to talk about what's got you so stressed?" Youngho asked after a round of silence.

"Don't you have work to do?"

The alpha scanned the café. His eyes landed back on Taeyong with a shrug of his shoulders. "Doesn't look like it. So? Can I know what's got your scent smelling all wrong?"

Taeyong relented, putting his mug down as he told the alpha. A colleague had borrowed one of his USBs without asking, one that had a multitude of unfinished projects stored on it, and now said colleague had misplaced it. Months of work gone, some Taeyong had been really excited to work on again once his current projects were out of the way. It wasn't the end of the world, and he might be able to replicate them if he put his mind to it, but it was the principle of it.

"What an asshole," Youngho murmured. Taeyong blinked at him, the alpha wasn't usually so brash with his words. "I hope you ripped him a new one."

Taeyong giggled despite himself, looking at the dregs of his chamomile and feeling warm inside. "Oh, definitely. I told him if he set foot in my studio again without asking me then I would find a way to get him fired."

Youngho's lips spread into a brilliant smile. He huffed a contented laugh, his sharpened scent drifting towards Taeyong with it.

"Good," he said, his voice deep. Another flutter in Taeyong's stomach, another jolt in his chest. "You know, I can box. Not that I think you can't handle it, but if he ends up being an issue…"

Taeyong laughed, the most genuine cackle he'd spouted in a while. 

"Take it easy, macho man," he grinned at how Youngho's eyes darkened. "You're like, a whole foot taller than him. One punch and you would probably take his head off."

The alpha straightened up in his chair, he smiled, cocky. "You're that confident in my strength? I'm glad to know carrying those sacks of flour around the café wasn't in vain, then."

Taeyong squinted his eyes at him, Youngho let out a cackle that had been similar to his own. The alpha's laugh was infectious and it didn't take long for Taeyong to join in, listening as Youngho went off on a tangent of jokes in an attempt to make him laugh more.

They carried on long past closing time, when the sun had set below the surrounding buildings and Taeyong felt blissfully tickled; cheeks pink and stomach tingly.

Youngho eventually pushed the cupcake towards him. Strawberry shortcake, with a fresh strawberry as the centerpiece and a cake topper to the side of it, labelling the dessert as the alpha's creation.

"You smell like you again."

Taeyong stopped. He sniffed the air, sure enough his scent had returned to normal.

"I'm glad you're feeling better, even if it's only a little," the alpha said.

Taeyong smiled at him. He pondered only for a moment before taking his hand and gently placing it on top of the alpha's own, squeezing once.

"Thank you, Youngho."

The alpha smiled back twice as wide, patting Taeyong's hand with his other.

"You're very welcome."

He took Taeyong's forgotten double espresso when he finally retreated back behind the counter. Taeyong once again left the café with a cupcake, waving at Youngho and grinning when he waved back.

His omega was content. So was Taeyong.

*

"Your hair is red." 

Taeyong blinked very slowly.

"Thanks, I hadn't noticed."

Youngho tilted his head, eyes roaming over Taeyong's newly dyed strands. "It's pretty."

"Oh," Taeyong said. He could feel his omega revel in the compliment. "You think so?"

"Most definitely," the alpha nodded. "It suits you."

Youngho had given him compliments before, but they were usually in jest, an opener for a witty remark. But when Taeyong searched for the alpha's teasing smirk, he found nothing but sincerity on his features.

"Thank you," Taeyong smiled, warmth blooming in his chest. "Your headband is pretty, too."

Youngho's hand flew up to his head, poking the bobbling reindeer in santa hats. He smiled back.

"I'm glad you think so."

It was three days before Christmas, today was the last day the café would be open until New Year. Taeyong hadn't meant to drop by so late but a session had run over, and he simply had to have one more hot chocolate before they closed for the festivities.

When Youngho returned with his drink, he also pushed a slice of cake towards him. Taeyong hadn't ordered a dessert today, specifically because there would be a takeaway pizza with his name on it sitting at Doyoung and Jaehyun's place soon and he didn't want to fill himself up.

"I remember you saying that you hate fruit cake," the alpha said, nudging the vanilla slice. The cake toppers had become Christmas themed this month, the one on this slice was a snowman. "So I'm guessing you don't like Christmas cake either. We're out of everything else, so."

Taeyong looked back at the display case. There were a couple of other desserts still shelved. He raised his brow at the alpha.

"Let me guess, the others weren't made by you?" 

Youngho let a grin loose. "Correct. I've told you before that my desserts are the best. Who would I be if I let you have subpar cake right before Christmas?"

"A bad alpha," Taeyong said, without thinking. He chanced a glance up at Youngho, worried he might have overstepped, but the alpha was still smiling. His chest puffed out at the comment, looking pleased.

"Exactly. Only the best for my favourite customer."

"Favourite?" Taeyong laughed, taking his order and turning to the table closest to the register. There was no one else in the café at this time, so close to a big holiday. Youngho was the only server that had stayed behind. "Are you trying to score some brownie points?"

"What if I say I am?" The alpha's voice followed him.

Taeyong sat, he met Youngho's eyes. He'd learned that the alpha was very bold, he always met Taeyong's gaze head on and he never hid his overly smug look whenever he said something flirty. If it was any other alpha Taeyong probably would have rolled his eyes, but with Youngho, he found himself enjoying the shows of confidence. As did his omega, if the slight jolts Taeyong felt each time it happened were anything to go by.

"Flattery only gets you so far," Taeyong decided to say.

"And how far has it gotten me?"

Taeyong shook his head, unable to stop his lips from spreading into a smile. "That's debatable."

"Hm. I suppose I'll just have to do more, then," the alpha said as he slinked away from the counter, flashing a sly smile before he disappeared.

Taeyong caught up with his emails as he sipped his drink, listening to the Christmas jingles playing through the café speakers. The alpha reappeared after a while, his scent now muddled with the smell of almonds and butter.

"Are you baking? At this hour?" Taeyong couldn't help but ask.

Youngho stopped from where he was stacking chairs on tables to turn to him. "I'm finishing off something I was working on earlier, yes."

When the alpha didn't elaborate, Taeyong asked, "Is it a secret?"

"Not for long. When were you planning on leaving?"

"Um, in about ten minutes."

"Make that fifteen? They'll be ready by then." 

Taeyong hummed. "Fine. But if I'm late to my friend's house, you'll be the one answering to him."

"Certainly." Youngho gave him a salute before heading back behind the counter.

The alpha was true to his word, he appeared before his table again just as Taeyong slung his bag over his shoulder.

In his hand he held a rectangle cake box. There was a window on the lid that allowed Taeyong to see its contents. Inside were eight macarons, all different colours with what looked like eight different fillings.

Youngho held the box out to him. Taeyong looked at the piece of card taped to the front of it.

'Merry Christmas, Taeyong.'

His omega stilled before it shrieked with glee. Taeyong's heart stuttered in his chest. He looked up at the alpha. Youngho was smiling wide enough for his eyes to disappear into little crescent moons.

"You said you were disappointed we didn't sell macarons that one time, so." The alpha shrugged.

He was holding the box very much like Jaehyun had that day on campus. Taeyong swallowed, he could feel anxiety bubbling up from his chest into his throat.

"I-Is this a—?"

"Christmas present," Youngho interjected. His smile turned small as he looked down at the box. "A Christmas present," he said more firmly. "For you."

Taeyong let out a breath. There was something palpable in the air between them. The alpha looked as though there was something more he wanted to say, but he kept quiet. He rattled the macarons a little.

"But I…" Taeyong started. He swallowed again. "I didn't get you anything."

Youngho's smile stretched again. "You didn't need to."

Taeyong gently took the box, his fingertips brushing against the alpha's as he slipped it out of his hold. He tilted his head up to look at the other, clutching the macarons to his chest. 

"You… You really didn't have to make these for me. I'm sure you have better things to do so close to the big day."

"Better than baking? No," Youngho leant back on the table. His look was fond when he said, "Being able to make them for you was just a bonus."

Taeyong's heart thumped a little faster, and this time it wasn't due to his anxiety. Youngho's smile was so warm, so selfless and bright. It was what urged Taeyong to take a step forward, directly into the alpha's space.

Youngho's smile dropped into a surprised gape when Taeyong pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, pulling away just as fast as he'd leaned in.

"Thank you, Youngho." Taeyong smiled. "For these, and the cake."

The alpha blinked a couple of times before shaking his head. His eyes shone as he met Taeyong's gaze again.

"You're... more than welcome." His smile was dopey. "I hope you have a really good Christmas and New Year, Taeyong."

"I hope you do, too," Taeyong said before taking his leave. He looked back at the alpha as he opened the café doors, the taller man was still leant against the table, grinning from ear to ear as he waved Taeyong out.

On the way to Doyoung and Jaehyun's, Taeyong peeled the card off his macaron box to read the scribbles on the back.

'Flavours: vanilla, strawberry, chocolate fudge, green tea, almond, coffee, lemon, blueberry.'

The last one pulled his lips into a smile, one that didn't fade even as Doyoung kept asking what he was so happy about.

*

A one-night-stand on New Years wasn't anything out of the ordinary for Taeyong. It was stress relief as much as it was an alcohol-driven bit of fun to celebrate the beginning of a new year, no feelings involved. Although, he wasn't used to alphas he barely knew being so forward as to cover him in their scent.

Taeyong's zesty scent was still drowned out by the smell of sandalwood a week later. It wasn't a scent he was particularly keen on, and from the looks he received from staff around the label, other people could very obviously smell it on him too.

It didn't go unnoticed by the alpha at the café, either.

Youngho's smile faltered when Taeyong stepped up to the counter. The alpha sniffed the air, and if he was aiming for discreteness, he missed by a mile. His blueberry muffin scent turned sharp before it twinged with a bitterness that made Taeyong's nostrils fizz.

Taeyong looked at the barista unblinkingly, the alpha looked back much the same.

"W-What can I get you?" Youngho asked with a visible swallow. Taeyong had known the alpha for a few months now, it was unusual for someone as smooth and witty as Youngho to fumble his words.

"What's up with you?" Taeyong shot back instead.

He had an inkling. Alphas weren't so comfortable around newly scented omegas, it was a biological reaction. Although Youngho didn't seem put off by his new scent, his nose didn't wrinkle nor did his lips curl at the possessive scent of another alpha. Instead he looked shocked, he looked confused, and when the alpha finally blinked, Taeyong saw something else glinting in his irises.

Youngho looked hurt.

"Nothing," the alpha said, too fast. "Hot chocolate?"

Taeyong frowned, slowly shaking his head. "Coffee. To stay in."

As soon as the words were out, Youngho disappeared to make his drink. The alpha made the exchange quick. He didn't initiate his routine chit-chat or ask how his festivities had been or anything of the like. The only time he spoke was to gesture to the card machine, and once the transaction was complete he looked behind Taeyong at the next customer.

When Taeyong walked away, Youngho did not meet his eye.

He didn't meet his eye from across the room like he usually did either, nor at any point did he walk the café floor and pretend to clean tables so that he could talk to Taeyong. He didn't offer him any tester-desserts or ask him any of his impromptu questions. The alpha remained behind the counter, and if he wasn't serving a customer, he seemed to be looking at everything but Taeyong.

Taeyong couldn't help but steal glances at him, watching how Youngho's brows kept pinching together, how his fingers twitched restlessly on the countertop, how his smile didn't reach his eyes, how it dropped the second the customer had turned away. He watched Jungwoo pass by and put a hand on the alpha's arm, a sympathetic expression on his soft features as his mouth moved with words Taeyong could not hear.

Youngho's dampened demeanour didn't seem to change, and Taeyong felt his chest grow heavy.

The alpha that consistently went out of his way to gain his attention was now doing the opposite. Is it really because I smell like another alpha? Taeyong pondered as he watched Youngho from afar. It hadn't even been something Taeyong considered on his way over. How he smelled had never mattered before, not to himself, not to anyone else. But Youngho looked blue, and his bittered scent was still lodged at the back of Taeyong's throat. He felt something all too familiar tugging at his innermost self.

This time when his omega whined, he didn't push it down. He listened to it cry for some kind of acknowledgement from an alpha it had become so used to; a wave, a smile, a glance.

The cries didn't soften, and after a while the line between himself and his omega began to blur until he wasn't sure who was feeling the loss of the alpha's attention more.

He left the café having barely touched his drink, the alpha still did not look his way as he walked out the door.

The next time he visited, Youngho wasn't serving. Taeyong only got a glimpse of the alpha sorting through a stack of boxes in the back before Ten slid into his view. The other omega smiled at him as he asked what he wanted. Taeyong swallowed, peering over Ten's head to get another look at Youngho, but the alpha had already gone. He sighed, and if Ten noticed how his scent turned sour, he didn't mention it. He ordered his coffee to-go and left, not bothering to quell his omega's protests.

On his next drop in the alpha wasn't there at all. Jungwoo served him his coffee, and the brilliant smile Taeyong had come to expect whenever the tall omega served him had now turned miniscule. His voice was quieter, his questions were blunt and he moved like his intention was to get Taeyong's order done with as quickly as possible. Taeyong's query on the alpha's whereabouts died on his tongue when Jungwoo let a frown slip onto his face. The omega did nothing to amend his expression. Taeyong took his drink and went, feeling his stomach churn unpleasantly.

Another week passed by, then another. Taeyong didn't visit the café. He made do with bland coffee from the staff room and store-bought treats instead, taking them back to his studio and having lunch by himself.

His trips across the street had become an integral part of his work day over the last few months, and suddenly being out of that routine was a strange feeling, one he couldn't seem to shake no matter what he occupied his time with. Weeks without visiting the café, listening to the downbeat melodies through their speakers and being greeted by a smile that he was sure had branded itself in his mind, left a gap he couldn't fill.

He gave up trying to soothe his omega late into the third week. Taeyong had never witnessed it so restless, so uneasy. It was distracting him from work, from house chores, it would nag around every minute of Taeyong's day until his head was clouded with his omega's protests alone.

Why! He would yell at it, when it got to the point that he could barely hear himself think. Why are you so upset? We've passed by countless alphas, so why are you so hung up on this one? Why are you making me feel like this?

His omega didn't respond with words, it responded with whines, pained grumbles and agitated sniffles. It would flash images of the alpha behind his eyelids as he tried to sleep, ones of him smiling, ones of him laughing, one of his face when he'd smelled another alpha muddled with Taeyong's scent, where his face had dropped and eyes had glistened with a sadness that made Taeyong's heart pang just to think about.

One night he let go, allowed his omega to hop into the driver's seat whilst he slipped into the back and let its frustrated tears run down his own cheeks and dampen his pillows. He let the unfiltered cries that had echoed through his mind echo through the silence of his bedroom instead for what felt like hours.

Why cry for someone who wasn't ours in the first place? Someone we weren't close with like that? Taeyong would ask, would pray his omega would help him understand, but it just continued to cry. Taeyong could do nothing but listen.

The next morning he went to work. If his colleagues noticed the bags under his eyes and his unenthusiastic greetings, they didn't say anything. Taeyong moved on autopilot, aimlessly milling around his studio until his legs carried him out the door on their own accord, walking him across the street and into the café he hadn't stepped into in almost a month.

The music through the speakers didn't bring him comfort like he imagined it would, nor did the aroma of baked goods and brewing coffee.

The figure behind the counter had their back to him when he finally willed himself to step forward. Familiar broad shoulders tensed before they turned, angling his body around to face Taeyong.

His breath caught in his throat as he looked at Youngho. The same seemed to have happened to the alpha, the notebook and pen he held frozen mid air.

Youngho looked tired, Taeyong could see it in each line of his face, a bone-deep exhaustion which seemed to mirror Taeyong's own. The alpha's scent was not the same. The smell of blueberry muffins was plagued with the sourness of misery, drowning out everything that was once sweet and leaving a bitter taste in Taeyong's mouth as a result.

By the way Youngho's nose wrinkled, he guessed his own scent wasn't much better.

After an age, the alpha took in a shaky breath.

"Tae—" he tried, before Ten slid up beside him. The small omega flashed him a smile.

"I'll take over, Youngho, it's fine."

The alpha did not move. He looked down at Ten, then back at Taeyong, eyes shining.

"We could do with another batch of vanilla cupcakes," Ten added, his pushy behaviour obviously intended in the way he raised his brows at the taller man.

Youngho deflated with a sigh. He only nodded, swallowing hard enough to make his adam's apple bob. He caught Taeyong's eye again as he walked away. Taeyong could tell by the twitch in his jaw that the alpha had something to say, perhaps a plethora of things — Taeyong certainly did, an apology at the forefront of them all, a hope of reconciliation — but Youngho kept his mouth shut. He disappeared around the corner with another sigh. Taeyong could do nothing but watch him leave.

"What can I get for you?" Ten asked him just as his omega started again in his chest.

Taeyong slowly shook his head, eyes fixed on the spot where the alpha had left. Shook it again when Ten frowned at him, looking concerned. He took a step away from the counter when Ten asked if he was alright. He was out the door a moment later, back in his studio in several more, collapsing against his door as his tears fell. His omega cried with him, until the sun beyond his window set and his clock chimed midnight.

*
 

“You've not been yourself recently.”

Taeyong sighed into Doyoung’s shoulder. His friend ran his fingers through his hair, just like he always did, the calming strokes matching his comforting scent.

“It'll pass.”

“Will it?” Doyoung asked, tone skeptical, the kind that meant he knew Taeyong wasn't speaking any truth.

Taeyong still nodded anyway. "Eventually." Wishful thinking.

"It's the barista, isn't it?"

When Taeyong stiffened, Doyoung let out a knowing hum.

"Did he offer you a courting gift?" 

"No," Taeyong said, voice barely above a whisper.

"Then what? Talk to me."

Taeyong swallowed uncomfortably. After a breath, he did what Doyoung asked, laying as much of it out as he could, and ignoring how his omega whinged when he brought up the alpha he hadn't even spoken to in over a month.

"Sounds like you wounded him, Yong," Doyoung said matter-of-factly.

"It wasn't my intention to upset him."

"Intentional or not, you still did," his friend stopped stroking his hair, instead he nudged Taeyong's shoulder until they were facing each other. "Look at it from his perspective, Yong. You spent months getting to know each other; all those free desserts he gave you, the Christmas present, the kiss you gave him. Imagine having someone reciprocate your advances in a way that seems promising, then the next time they show up they reek of possession. You would feel disheartened too, no?"

Taeyong looked away from his friend. Another sigh. "I-I get that. But I never promised him anything, Doyoung. Nothing like that was ever said between us. It's… It's not my fault he saw it like that — that he's upset about it."

He felt Doyoung shift beside him, planting his legs on the floor as he sat up properly on the couch.

"It's not?" his friend questioned, and Taeyong's chest tightened. "You might not have said it with words, but you must have shown it. I know you, Yong. You're more than capable of saying no, more than capable of stepping away from a situation you don't like. I've watched you do it for years, you can't lie to me. If you didn't want anything with Youngho then you wouldn't have done half the things you've told me."

Taeyong's hands started to shake in his lap.

"How long are you going to keep running away, Yong?" Doyoung asked. "How long are you going to keep ignoring how you feel? How restless your omega is?"

Doyoung grabbed Taeyong's face, an action he'd done countless times before, cupping his hand under his chin and forcing Taeyong to look at him. His friend was frowning, but his eyes were glossy, full of concern.

"You must know that he likes you." Doyoung arched a brow. "He wouldn't have been so upset if he didn't. Why are you in denial about it, Yong? After everything? Help me understand."

Taeyong shook his head in Doyoung's hold, his next breath catching in throat. He hated how he couldn't stop his hands from shaking, how he couldn't stop his breathing from stuttering, trying to suppress an onslaught of emotions he could feel building up inside, waiting for the signal to break down the dam.

"You like him, too," Doyoung stated. "You like him a lot, am I right? And that scares you. You don't know how to deal with it so you're doing what you usually do, ignoring it. Or at least, trying to."

His friend gently let go of his face and put his hand to Taeyong's chest instead, where his omega had been stirring miserably for weeks.

"If this was one-sided on Youngho's part, I wouldn't be pushing it, you know I would never," his friend assured. "But this time, I know it's not. I can see it on your face and by the way you talk about him. I can feel it," he said, pressing his hand against him harder.

Taeyong swallowed painfully, his throat dry. There was a telltale prickle behind his eyes as he looked at his friend, as he felt the warmth of his palm over his heart.

"Tell me this, and tell me honestly. If you walked away from this now, from him, do you ever think you'll be happy?"

It took a moment, another shaky breath, but Taeyong slowly shook his head. He did it again when his friend's words sunk in further. In an instant his vision was blurred by unshed tears, the epiphany laying itself before him, and he wondered how he'd allowed himself to be so blind to it until now.

"Doyoung… I-I ruined it." His voice cracked. "I ruined it."

His friend tutted before pulling him into a hug. It was this that made the tears fall. Doyoung shushed him, hand back in his hair and lips pressing soft kisses into his crown as he rocked them from side to side.

"You didn't. We'll sort it, okay? Just like we always do. You don't have to worry, Yong, we will make it right."

Taeyong nodded as another sob wracked his chest. His friend never told promises he couldn't keep. Taeyong hoped this one wouldn't be the first to break the chain.

*

Taeyong stepped into the café at exactly five minutes past six. All the chairs had been stacked up on the tables and there was a large tub of cleaning supplies by the door, a job half finished.

There was still music playing, but instead of lyricless melodies played a genre Taeyong had long studied before, blues. He supposed it was fitting as he took measured steps towards the counter, listening to a song about love and heartbreak, hurt and loss.

"Sorry," came a voice from the back, one that made Taeyong's steps falter. There was the sound of something clinking, then a shuffle of feet coming closer. "But we're closed now. We'll be open again tom—"

Youngho stopped when his eyes fell on Taeyong. Taeyong did much the same.

The alpha didn't look any different to the last time he'd seen him. There were still dark spots under his tired eyes, there was still a hunch to his shoulders and a sad curl to the corners of his lips.

Youngho straightened up, hands dropping to his sides.

"Taeyong."

Taeyong let out a breath. "Hi, Youngho."

"I—" the alpha tried before coughing awkwardly. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to speak to you." Taeyong gulped, the lump in his throat that hadn't cleared for weeks bobbing right back into place. "I-If that's alright? Sorry, I know it's late, and you're busy, but I couldn't think of a better time where we would be able to talk..."

The alpha was already shaking his head. His smile was small, and it didn't reach his eyes, but it was there.

"It's fine. You probably guessed that I was staying behind today, so." His laugh was void of any mirth, swallowed up by the soured scent in the air as soon as it was out. "And yes, I think we should talk. Just, um. Take a couple of the chairs down from one of the tables. I'll… I'll be back."

Taeyong did as he was told as the alpha headed into the back again, arranging two chairs around a table in the middle of the café and taking a seat. He couldn't stop his hands from fidgeting as he waited, his leg from bouncing in place, bumping up his anxiousness.

Youngho appeared after a few minutes, his apron forgotten as well as his prep gloves. The alpha's movements were sluggish as he approached the table, slinking into the opposite chair with an uneasy sounding sigh.

His scent instantly swamped the space between them. Taeyong hated how down the alpha smelled, would do anything to change it, to smell that sugary aroma again.

Youngho looked at him. Taeyong looked back.

His friend's reassurances echoed through his head when he felt his nerves beginning to nip more sharply. Taeyong took a deep breath. He'd been preparing himself for this, he wasn't going to back out now.

"Thank you," he started. Youngho's brows furrowed. "For speaking to me. It's been a while. You could have turned me away."

Youngho let out another dry laugh. "Even if it had been longer, I still wouldn't have turned you away, Taeyong."

"You're too kind, Youngho,” he said quietly. “That's more than I deserve."

A scoff. "Don't be ridiculous. Anyone would think you did something dreadful."

"Didn't I?" Taeyong questioned, making the alpha pause. "That day, after New Years..." he said, the rest of the words catching in his throat. Youngho looked as though he understood anyway, his brows ticking down a fraction more.

"I would hardly class being with someone as doing something dreadful, Taeyong."

It was an attempt at nonchalance, but alpha's tone was too mellowed to pull it off. Taeyong sat forward in his chair.

"But I did something that upset you,” he stated. "It wasn't my intention to, not at all," he stressed, hoping Youngho believed him. “But I know I still did."

The alpha's eyes flit around his face. Taeyong wished he could tell what he was thinking, but Youngho’s expression was guarded, the muscle in his jaw twitching incessantly.

“You didn’t upset me, Taeyong,” Youngho finally said. Taeyong blinked at him, watched the alpha tilt his head to the ceiling. “It was unfair of me to give you the cold shoulder like I did. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

"But I…” Taeyong shook his head, unable to accept those words. “Youngho, I—"

“Don’t blame yourself for me acting childish,” the alpha interjected. “Please don’t. You didn’t upset me, I upset myself.”

Youngho scrubbed his hands over his face, a sigh leaving his lips as they dropped back down into his lap.

“I just got in over my head, I guess.” he murmured.

“What do you mean, Youngho?” Taeyong asked after a beat, his voice teetering on the edge of stability.

For months he had watched the alpha double-over at his own jokes and grin wide enough for laughter-lines to appear on his plump cheeks — watching Youngho smile at him mirthlessly made his stomach twist.

“It’s not the first time I got ahead of myself,” the alpha answered. “Failed to look at things objectively. I got so wrapped up in how I was feeling that I didn’t consider anything else. I didn’t consider you.” He sighed. “Then that day—”

Taeyong’s chest tightened. Youngho averted his gaze, looking down at the floor.

“It made me realise I was probably just seeing what I wanted to see the whole time.”

Taeyong had never felt anything akin to heartbreak before, but as he listened to Youngho's words, watched him hang his head and draw back into himself, he deduced that what he was feeling now was it. He had never felt a stronger need to correct someone on their inaccuracies than he did at this moment.

He was tired of running away. He didn't think he'd ever forgive himself if he let this opportunity pass by with the others that came before. He had sworn to himself that he would fix it, and he wasn't going to leave until he had.

"Youngho."

The alpha didn't lift his head.

"Youngho, look at me. Please?"

It took a few moments, but the alpha looked up, taking a steadying breath as he met Taeyong's eyes.

"That's so, so far from the truth," Taeyong told him, watching Youngho's eyes widen. "You weren't just seeing what you wanted to see."

"...I wasn't?" the alpha asked, his voice incredibly small.

Taeyong shook his head. He smiled, wobbly and desperate, but entirely genuine, a promise that what he said wasn't a lie.

"It took me too long to realise," he said, taking a breath of his own. "Far too long, and not without help from my friend, but no, Youngho. You weren't. Everything I said, everything I showed… I meant it. I meant it all."

"I'm so sorry," he continued, not dropping the alpha's gaze. "I'm… I'm not good at this, Youngho. I was serious when I told you I haven't been courted before. I've never done anything like this--" he gestured between them. "--before, either. It's why I took so long coming to terms with it, with how I felt. I'm sorry for making you think that this wasn't what it was. What it is."

"T-Taeyong?" Youngho said in a whisper, eyes rapidly darting around his face, unable to settle.

"I like you, Youngho," Taeyong declared, ignoring the shake of his hands and the jitter of his voice. "I really, really like you. I'm sorry for making you think that I didn't, that all that time together didn't mean anything."

Silence followed, as did the steady increase of Taeyong's pulse, blood rushing to his ears and heart thumping against his ribcage. He waited, watched as Youngho blinked back at him.

"You like me?" the alpha finally asked, and Taeyong couldn't help the chuckle that flew from his lips at how surprised he sounded, how his eyes widened even further.

"Yes, Youngho," he confirmed. "I like you very much. I'm sorry I kept you waiting. I'm… I'm sorry I couldn't say it sooner."

The alpha vigorously shook his head. "No apologies," he said, reaching over the table and taking one of Taeyong's hands in his own.

Taeyong's breath hitched. Youngho held onto his hand tightly, his own so big that they covered it entirely, his fingers brushing over Taeyong's wrist.

"Please, no more apologies," Youngho pleaded. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

Taeyong wasn't so sure of that, but he found it hard to argue against the alpha's big, glossy eyes and the furrow of his brow. Youngho's lip twitched, wavering until the corners pulled up into a smile, one as wobbly as his own had been.

"I'm… so glad you like me back."

Taeyong smiled with him, his giggle coming out wet. "You make it awfully hard for me not to like you."

Youngho's grin stretched. He took hold of Taeyong's other hand, swiftly lacing all their fingers together over the table and squeezing until Taeyong squeezed back.

His omega preened. Youngho's smile was incandescent as he looked at Taeyong.

Taeyong didn't think he'd ever seen a more beautiful sight.

"And I can't tell you how happy that makes me," said the alpha.

*

The next time Taeyong walked into the café he had a spring in his step.

"Ah, he's arrived!" Youngho said too loudly for midday on a Tuesday. "Let me guess, coffee, and hmm… a slice of chocolate cake?"

Ten appeared over the alpha's shoulder almost immediately. "You know, the rest of us make desserts too. Perhaps he would like to try something someone else made for once."

"Of course he doesn't." Youngho scoffed, ignoring Taeyong's skeptical eyebrow. "My desserts are one of the two reasons Taeyong even comes in here."

The other omega raised his brow at the alpha too. "Oh really? Then what's the other? Surely it's not to see your insufferable ass. Taeyong doesn't seem the type to willingly hang around with lame people."

Unsurprisingly, Youngho let out an offended noise. Taeyong watched them bicker, a grin still pulling at the corners of his lips when Youngho finally turned back around to face him.

"Hey," the alpha said, voice considerably quieter and a soft smile on his face. It made his cheeks plush, his eyes shine, and it was like Taeyong was seeing him again for the very first time.

"Hi," he greeted back.

"What can I get you today?"

There was a sense of normalcy in the way Youngho passed his order, like things had reverted back to the way they once were. The alpha’s sugary scent was welcome in his nose and on his palate, and Taeyong didn’t hesitate to take in another lungful as Youngho leaned a little closer over the counter. The small nudge the alpha gave his hand as he slid him his plated cake slice sent a rush of warm shooting up the back of his neck, one that would have embarrassingly spread to his cheeks had he not quickly turned away to his favourite window seat.

Youngho later floated over to him under the pretense of tidying up like he did before, striking up casual conversation and pretending to look busy whenever another customer or worker got too close.

The alpha spoke to him just the same; lips moving at a mile a minute and eyes alight as he enthused about whatever had happened over the weekend or whatever new recipe he had discovered. There was something else there though, Taeyong could feel it as much as he could see it in the alpha's movements, the way he stuttered into his next conversation topic, the usual smoothness he had prior seemingly having left him.

He didn't mention the last time they met, the conversation they'd had — the confession. It was a weight in the air, but not an uncomfortable one. Youngho looked as though he wanted to bring it up, but he seemed to know a café full of customers and him still being on the clock wasn't the right time to do so. It was enjoyable watching him struggle though, like an eager child being told to wait for something they so desperately wanted.

"I'll stop by again at six," Taeyong told him when he took his leave, the implication clear, we can talk then. Putting his hand on Youngho's forearm as he said it had been a natural occurrence, one that was returned with Youngho's hand on top of his own.

"I'll save one of my desserts for you." The alpha squeezed once.

Taeyong was greeted with lemon tart upon his return as well as a face-splitting grin from the alpha. He watched Youngho dance around the topic again despite them being alone. He even brought up Doyoung and Jaehyun in an attempt to segway into the subject, then decidedly changed his mind with an awkward hum.

"Youngho," Taeyong eventually said, and the alpha bolted upright, looking sheepish. "I can tell there's something you want to say. Don't be afraid to say it now."

Youngho's smile was shy. It was almost amusing on an alpha as big as him, with his broad shoulders bunched up to his ears and his fingers fidgeting on the table, but Taeyong just thought it made him all the more charming.

"I was going to ask," the alpha mumbled as he scratched the back of his neck. "Would you… like to come to the park with me this weekend? The weather is supposed to be really nice."

Butterfly wings brushed against Taeyong's stomach. His heart thumped, his cheeks coloured.

"Yes," he answered after composing himself, though he couldn't ignore the excitement bubbling furiously in his gut. "I would like that."

Nerves weren't something Taeyong experienced often. Working with big clients in a fast paced industry with high expectations didn't leave much breathing space for such things. However, as he walked towards Youngho at the park's entrance, he couldn't ignore the anxious tingle interweaving between his ribs, or the way it felt as though his heart was in his mouth when he stopped in front of the alpha.

"Wow," Youngho said before anything else. "Woah," he said after, eyes trailing down Taeyong's body.

Taeyong pulled at the hem of his shirt, resisting the urge to duck his head under the alpha's gaze, his omega shying away from the attention.

"You look really good," the alpha complimented.

As did Youngho, Taeyong thought, in a loose shirt similar to his own, looking very stylish compared to his casual café apron.

"Looking for brownie points already?" Taeyong asked, feeling some of his nerves get swept away with the alpha's loud chortle.

"Wait—" Youngho then paused. "I've got to score more?" he whined.

"Of course," Taeyong said teasingly. "I thought alphas liked to prove themselves?"

Youngho's scent turned sharp. He stood up straighter, then offered his hand. "Care to join me?"

Taeyong enjoyed how easily his hand slipped into the alpha's, like it was made to mold into his grasp.

The butterflies in his stomach didn't dissipate for the entirety of their time together. They were always there, a constant reminder that he was holding the alpha's hand, that their fingers were entwined. The fluttering would intensify when Youngho squeezed their grip every so often, when he looked down at Taeyong and the sun caught on his face, illuminating his smile. They would kick up a storm when Youngho tugged him close out of the way of a passing bicycle or runner and Taeyong knocked into his chest, unable to overlook how comfortably he fit in the alpha’s hold.

His omega was on cloud nine, and it was easy to feel the effects of its elation as Youngho passed him a sorbet he’d purchased from an ice cream truck. And then when he offered to carry Taeyong's bag when the heat picked up. And again as he slipped Taeyong compliment after compliment; some shielded between cheesy one-liners and others as obvious as the sun in the sky. Each one would reluctantly colour his cheeks pink; something Taeyong would blame on the heat, if anyone asked.

“I was only kidding about impressing me, you know,” Taeyong said after the upteenth word of flattery from the alpha.

"I’m not saying these things to try and impress you.” Youngho smiled. “I’m saying them because they’re true, and I think I've waited long enough to say them."

Taeyong's blush was unmistakable this time around. Cursing his traitorous cheeks, he turned to face the large oak tree they’d stopped in front of instead. Although it was clear by the way the alpha hurriedly grabbed his hand again that he had seen it anyway, a teasing grin plastered on his face when Taeyong found the courage to look at him again.

Youngho eventually persuaded him to take a picture underneath the tree, between the low hanging branches bursting with green leaves and shiny acorns. It turned out the alpha was quite the photographer. He took a picture of Taeyong walking along the dirt path too as they carried on through the park, then one as they strolled by the lake, and another as they relaxed on a spare patch of grass, catching Taeyong unawares.

"Don't share those anywhere," Taeyong said as he caught Youngho flicking through his gallery.

"Not a chance. These are for my eyes only," the alpha said proudly. "These two are my favourite."

Youngho held his phone up to him. The first was a picture of Taeyong crouching beside a small flock of birds, his hand outstretched towards them. The second was the same, except in this one his head was turned towards the camera. There was a wide smile on his face, presumably aimed at the alpha.

Taeyong couldn't remember the last time he'd seen himself look so happy. He suddenly found himself embarrassed, tugging the collar of his shirt up over the bottom of his face.

"They're not that good," he mumbled.

Youngho just grinned. "They're perfect."

They headed back when the sun showed signs of setting. Youngho seemed reluctant to let go of his hand as they stood outside the park gates, the low hum of traffic going past on the bypass across the way filling the silence. Taeyong froze when the alpha reached up his other hand to push a strand of hair back from his face, his fingers ever so gently brushing across his temple.

Taeyong only had to ponder his decision for a moment after taking in their empty surroundings. He pushed himself onto his toes and pressed a kiss to the corner of Youngho's lips.

The alpha looked stunned when he pulled back, but Taeyong didn't have time to laugh at how high his eyebrows had risen before Youngho was leaning in himself and capturing Taeyong's lips in a proper kiss.

Taeyong could count on one hand the few good kisses he’d shared over the years, could probably rank them all in under a minute. But as Youngho brought his hands up to his face, pulled him closer and proceeded to steal the air from his lungs, Taeyong knew this one exceeded them all. This kiss made his toes curl, it set his nerve endings alight, like someone had detonated a barrage of fireworks beneath his skin.

Ah. Taeyong thought back to university, to his very first kiss, how he hadn't felt anything akin to how the movies depicted it. I understand now, he smiled as he snaked his arms over Youngho’s shoulders and allowed the alpha to kiss him deeper.

It made more sense the next time he dropped into the café and Youngho beamed at him, giving him his coffee and quickly pecking the back of his hand, the most he could get away with without being reprimanded. And even more sense on the evenings they spent in the café just talking, where everyone had gone home and they drank warm drinks and their hands inevitably found each other over the table.

It only became clearer when Youngho took him to dinner at a fancy restaurant, one where they both looked too out of place in their too casual clothes and they’d spent the majority of the evening snickering behind their menus at all the snobbish couples seated around them. Then when they started hanging out at each other’s apartments frequently, watching movies until sundown and then dozing off together on the couch. When Youngho found himself at Taeyong’s apartment more than his own, when they cooked together, cleaned up together, played around in Taeyong’s home studio and made short songs with both of their names credited at the top of the lyrics sheet. And then when Doyoung and Jaehyun eventually came round and Youngho had stood as rigid as a pillar under his friend’s gazes with sweat beading at his hairline.

“I was worried I wouldn’t make a good impression. I mean if they don’t like me, then it’s all over, right?” Youngho had explained after the mated pair left. He’d had nothing to worry about of course, Doyoung was more than pleased with the alpha responsible for Taeyong’s, as he called it, re-invented self. He’d nudged Taeyong’s side once both alphas were out of earshot to tell him he’d made a good choice in the looks department. Jaehyun was also happy, him and Youngho hit it off immediately and Jaehyun left with his number in his phone and a promise for them to go out for drinks one night.

“Even if they didn’t, I still like you,” Taeyong had assured him, throwing his arms around his neck as he’d pulled the alpha down for a kiss.

That night, they made love for the first time, with moonlight pouring through the blinds and the dulcet tones of the radio floating in from the next room. Just like their first kiss, fireworks burst. It was overwhelming, breathtaking, and when Youngho brought him to his high there were tears in the corners of his eyes. The alpha kissed them away, kissed his lips and muttered praise after praise in his ear, slowly rolling into him until he was shaking and sensitive, clinging onto the alpha once more.

He did the very same the next time they made love. And the time after that, then the next.

"I love you," Youngho whispered against his skin one night, with rain crashing against the window and the low rumble of thunder in the distance.

Butterflies, back and persistent as ever in Taeyong's stomach.

"You… You do?" he whispered back, hands framing the alpha's face, fingers brushing back his sweaty bangs.

"I think I do." Youngho chuckled, leaning in to steal a kiss, to draw another moan of pleasure from Taeyong's lips. "Is it too soon to say that?"

Taeyong smiled, shook his head. "Doesn't matter. I like you saying it. Say it again."

Youngho did. He pressed the words along Taeyong's throat, then down over his heart. He rocked his hips as he sealed the words against Taeyong's cheek, silencing him with a kiss when he cried out beneath him.

The alpha pressed them along his skin afterwards too, making Taeyong's breath hitch with each brush of his lips on his skin. And as Youngho slung an arm over Taeyong’s waist and pulled him flush against his chest, Taeyong thought he truly understood.

You don't need a person. You need the right person.

Perhaps Taeyong didn't believe in soulmates, but he believed there were people who were right for one another. He believed his father was good for his mother, he believed Jaehyun was good for Doyoung.

And when he looked at Youngho, utterly debauched with that dopey smile on his face, he let himself believe that this was the one who was right for him.

It wasn't until a month later that Youngho knelt down in the middle of Taeyong's living room and presented him with a boxed dessert. Taeyong rolled his eyes at the dramatics, reaching out to open the lid. There was a red heart coloured on the underside of it, surrounded by little question marks.

“Will you accept my courting gift?” Youngho asked, his smile brilliant.

Taeyong smiled back, a laugh bubbling past his lips. He pulled the alpha back onto his feet before taking the box out of his hold.

It was a blueberry muffin, a cake topper with the alpha’s name sticking out of the top. Taeyong felt his heart swell.

“Yes, Youngho. I will accept.”