Work Text:
At first it was a disaster.
It's not that he didn't foresee it, but once what was initially nothing more than a mere fantasy came to reality, Chifuyu knew that things wouldn't settle down easily.
The starting point had been to help Kazutora get back on track after years in juvenile detention, in practical terms he wasn't even sure how he felt about him and why he of all people should be in charge of Kazutora.
He still hadn't forgiven him for everything he'd done, and probably from the bottom of his heart he'd never be able to, but the whirlwind of thoughts fogging his mind would only clear up if he continued on the path he'd decided to take.
That path had led him to wanting to fulfil Baji's dream: open a pet shop and Kazutora would be his partner. That only thought made him laugh but in reality he made that decision as a solution to make Kazutora redeem himself from everything he had done to him. It wasn't something he was going to discuss with him right away, after all, what motivation could he have for agreeing to work with him?
Chifuyu worked hard to create the foundations of what would soon become his life's project - Baji's unrealizable dream - studying everything he didn't know about that world, trying to pass it on to Kazutora who, although reluctant, decided to go along with him.
On the day of the shop opening, they both felt very nervous, it was a first for both of them. Kazutora had finally mastered his hesitancy towards animals - yeah, he'd never stroked a dog or picked up a cat before - while Chifuyu had managed to handle the administrative part flawlessly, so they were really ready to get started. There were more customers than expected, also close friends including Hina and Takemichi, who let slip a comment about how proud Baji would be of him today.
Chifuyu initially didn't give any weight to those words, hoping that Kazutora would forget them as he often did when he was the one asking for a favor or giving him a recommendation, but that wasn't the case.
"What did Hanagaki mean when he said that thing about Baji?" Kazutora asked curiously, clashing his beer can against Chifuyu’s as they toasted to a successful first day. The dark-haired boy returned the other's curious glance, then looked away, showing a certain discomfort in wanting to talk about that subject. Sooner or later he would have to, but he didn't think it would happen so quickly, on such an important day.
"I never told you about this, but Baji's dream was to have a pet shop."
He replied without skirting around the subject, as there would have been no point in that and sooner or later Kazutora would have known about it too. He waited patiently for Kazutora's reaction, which at first didn't seem to come, almost as if the other was weighing up the right words to say to him, then suddenly he came up with the most unlikely answer: a laugh .
Chifuyu suddenly became tense, almost annoyed by that unpredictable reaction, or quite simply their relationship was still very fragile and having Kazutora laugh in his face wasn’t the best option when it came to such a sensitive subject.
"That sounds crazy to me. Maybe you should leave it behind and live for yourself, you are you, Baji was Baji."
Their gazes met for a few moments, during which Chifuyu clenched his fists until the knuckles of his fingers whitened, sinking his nails into the flesh so forcefully that they left marks. Kazutora noticed that reaction but on the surface continued to maintain that approach, setting the beer can down on the coffee table in front of the couch in Chifuyu's flat.
"Do you think you really have any say in the matter of Baji?"
"Not really, after all, I'm not the one living for a dead person."
Kazutora had really crossed the line and after those words Chifuyu couldn't hold back any longer, he climbed over the table that separated them, spilling the now forgotten dinner on the ground and grabbed the other boy by the shirt.
Chifuyu didn't say a word, just brought his palm to Kazutora's face. The sound echoed like thunder. That slap changed Kazutora's attitude rather abruptly and he inhaled before standing up and pushing Chifuyu away with both hands.
"Don't think I don't care about him anymore." Kazutora resumed after moments of silence that seemed like years, Chifuyu tried to regulate his breathing, turning a detached glance to the other, as if he could not believe his own ears. Two ideas were fighting inside him: ruin everything they had built up to now, or defend the honour of the most important person in his life.
"I have paid for what I did, I’m still paying for it and again I will pay for it for the rest of my life. Don't think it's easy for me either."
Chifuyu didn’t reply. He stared silently at the floor so intently and for so long that he could almost believe he had forgotten Kazutora was there.
They sat together in silence for what seemed like an hour, while Kazutora tried, unsuccessfully, to think of what to say without sounding frivolous. The room was beginning to look like a mortuary.
"I need some time alone," he said flatly. "Sorry, Kazutora."
Perhaps he really had crossed an insurmountable line, and as much as he felt hurt in turn, he decided not to press the matter any further.
"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow at work."
"Yes." Chifuyu didn't look at him. He was staring at his hands, as if he could see something beyond them. "I'm sorry," he said, but even a fool could understand that it wasn't him he was apologising to.
It took three weeks for the cloud hanging over Chifuyu to lift. Kazutora spent entire days with him at work, and when Chifuyu entrusted him with the shop to run errands, the discussion of the first day was constantly on his mind. Whenever work was slow, his mind wandered on the same circuit of anxieties. Whenever he was alone, he worried about him. Whenever they were together, he watched him closely, trying to judge the precise temperature of his mood, trying to anticipate every little disturbance, every little difficulty. After three weeks, he was exhausted.
One Friday evening, as they finished checking the inventory, Chifuyu interrupted the counting to turn to Kazutora after weeks of sidelong glances. He had noticed his change, his ever-tired and resigned appearance, and knew perfectly well that it could be traced back to their previous discussion. Chifuyu realised that they couldn't go on like this forever.
"Listen Kazutora, we need to talk." Kazutora lifted his eyes to the sky and inhaled deeply, praying that the last of the strength he had in his body wouldn't leave him at that very moment.
"What is it?"
"It's about the discussion we had a few weeks ago... We're together every day but we didn't confront each other." ' I've been thinking about it for a long time ' Chifuyu continued mentally, unlike what he had shown he hadn't gone a day without thinking about that discussion and what had triggered it.
Kazutora stopped what he was doing and leaned against the counter with both arms, letting Chifuyu know that he was listening to him.
"At first, when I asked you to become a partner, I didn't want you to know what was behind all this. It's true, it's Baji's dream, but I didn't do it simply because I wanted it to become a reality in his honour... I love animals too and it was one of the commonalities that allowed me to get to know him better and get to know that side of him that no one had ever seen."
Kazutora listened silently to Chifuyu's words and in a way it hurt him because he was completely unaware of these details, realising that he had taken Chifuyu's feelings lightly.
"I originally asked to help me because I wanted you to indirectly continue to pay for everything you had done..." The boy looked directly into Chifuyu's eyes as he continued the tale, and in those words he caught a glimpse of a truly sorry expression.
"Then I started to see everything from a different point of view, I told myself that I could only carry out a project of this calibre with someone equally close to Baji... Who knew him well enough to do this work with the same passion he would put into it."
Those words struck Kazutora deeply, he honestly never expected them. He inhaled deeply, trying to chase away the tears that pricked at the sides of his eyes, tears he hadn't shed in years except when he was serving his sentence in juvenile detention .
"I'm supposed to feel mocked, instead you're making me feel ... You're amazing Matsuno Chifuyu."
"That's disgusting , Hanamiya Kazutora."
They both laughed, loudly. It was as if they had had this conversation before, as if it was a little dance they had done over and over again until it became a classic, and now they were having as much fun as one would have watching one's favourite film.
"I've decided, I will stay here with you" Kazutora said firmly "until the end of the line".
"The end of the line?" Chifuyu grimaced. "Don't be so hasty, I'm tired of such macabre talk."
"Everything has an end sooner or later. Nothing lasts forever, and I don't think you get anywhere by pretending it does."
Chifuyu knew that perfectly well, and as much as he thanked Kazutora for those words, he smiled at him, hoping that as far as they were concerned everything would turn out for the best.
"Fine, then I'll settle for having you around until the end of the line."