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It was silly.
They were in the midst of a war, again. Tensions were rising. His missions were longer and with less time in between to recover.
But Remus knew that if he didn't do something now, maybe there wouldn't be any more opportunities to do it later.
He thought about the first time he accepted his feelings a long while ago. He never did anything more than acknowledging them. Why would he do that? It's not as if Sirius had shown him that he might feel something similar, and with the first war looming over them, it was not a good idea to go there.
He had been okay, back then, being just friends with Sirius. But not anymore.
Not when he realized that even after thirteen years, his feelings were still there. They weren't the feelings he had at twenty-one, but the essence was the same. He was surprised when those feelings made themselves known again when Sirius was lying low at his house. He was even more surprised when he realized that it hadn't felt like a home until Sirius appeared at his doorstep and spent some time there.
This time he took more time to accept those feelings, but in the end, he did.
Remus still wasn't sure Sirius could feel something more than friendship for him, so what he was going to do now was just silly.
He had been worrying about this all the way back to Grimmauld Place after his stakeout with Tonks. They had been talking about something or other when Tonks mentioned how Sirius was still handsome even after Azkaban. He had felt a strange surge of jealousy, and had made some remark about how he had always gotten all the women's attention (not that Sirius paid any mind to them but still). Tonks had been taken aback by that comment, and had told him that if he was observant he would know who she liked. He was confused by it but had changed the topic to not rile her up anymore. He made a mental note to pay more attention to the possible love interests of Tonks, though, maybe it was Bill, or Fleur, or ughh, he hoped it wasn't Snape (that would be disgusting).
He replayed her words in his mind over and over again, feeling each time the same jealousy. It was not normal to have that reaction to just a comment about Sirius' good looks. He pondered his feelings, he knew they were growing, but it was a bit of a surprise just how deep and strong they were. He thought about the options he had, tell him something or remain silent and continue as they were. What would the worst outcome be if he just told Sirius everything?
He had those thoughts stuck on his head for the rest of their shift. Soon, they were finished with the stakeout and he had made a decision. He told Tonks to go ahead to the headquarters, and he would catch up later. He had something to do first.
That's how he ended up in front of Grimmauld's door with a bouquet of pink roses, forget-me-nots, and baby's-breath. It really was silly.
When he finally entered the house, he went directly to the drawing-room where most of the mission reports were given to the other Order's members.
Remus stopped at the door and took a deep breath to calm down. There, in one of the armchairs, was Sirius swirling a glass of firewhiskey in his hand. He was watching a group whispering on the other side of the room.
As if he had sensed Remus' presence, Sirius looked up and gave him one of his bright smiles. Remus smiled in return and made his way over the armchair. That's when Sirius noticed the bouquet. His smile flattered a bit and his eyes' brightness was replaced with a mix of sadness and disappointment. Remus didn't expect such a reaction. He could imagine rejection, fear, rage, but not sadness.
He was about to say something when Sirius spoke. "You must be here looking for Tonks, don't you? She's over there."
What? "Er… What? No?" Remus' helpful brain supplied. But before he could explain anything, Sirius was getting Tonks attention and beckoning her over.
Remus was trying to stop Sirius when she noticed them. She excused herself from her companions and crossed the room with too much enthusiasm.
"Hi Remus, nice flowers, are those for me?" Tonks said with an overly sweet tone, and a faint blush on her cheeks, putting a hand on his forearm. Sirius was faking a small smile and was trying to come up with an escape route.
Remus didn't understand what was happening. Why had Sirius looked disappointed when he had seen the bouquet? Why had he called Tonks over here? And why was Tonks talking to him like that? Oh, Merlin, she had just told him that he was unobservant for not knowing who she liked. Does this mean that Tonks liked him? He had to let her down. He had to talk to Sirius first, though. He needed to say something now.
So before Sirius could go and Tonks could say anything else, he blurted a too loud "No!"
Both, Sirius and Tonks, were surprised by his tone and were watching him with wide eyes.
He felt a blush on his face, ears, and neck. He cleared his throat, and tried again, more gently this time. "No, sorry, Tonks. They are actually for Sirius," he said before shoving the flowers into Sirius' hands.
"What?" Came the joint response from the two people in front of him.
"Er… Yes… I-... Sirius, I need to tell you something," he said rather lamely looking at the floor. He could not face either of them. This was not how it was supposed to go. It was so silly.
After some moments in which no one said anything, he dared to look up. Sirius was looking down at him with a curious expression on his face, clutching the bouquet close to his chest. He gave Remus a small nod of his head and put his hand on Remus' arm. Remus turned to Tonks, who was watching their little exchange with an amused look, and said to her a quiet "sorry," looking apologetic. She smiled at him and turned to walk to the other side of the room where she had been talking with other people.
Sirius then proceeded to march Remus out of the drawing-room and into the kitchen, which was blessedly empty. Remus didn't want to have this conversation with an audience. It had been bad enough with Tonks there a few minutes ago.
They sat down at the table in front of each other. Sirius put the flowers delicately on the table between them and crossed his arms. Remus was nervously fidgeting with a loose thread on the cuff of his jumper.
Sirius cleared his throat, waiting for Remus to look at him. When he finally looked up, he saw Sirius with one eyebrow lifted. The brightness of his eyes had returned with full force, and he was trying to stifle a smile.
" Do you know that these flowers have meanings?" Sirius said, amusement coloring his voice.
Remus felt himself blush again. "Yes, I know."
"Is that what you wanted to tell me? The meaning of the flowers, is that what you feel? Towards me?"
"I-... Yes," he said timidly, averting Sirius' gaze. Here it came, the rejection. At least he hoped Sirius still wanted to be his friend, he didn't know what he would do if he lost him as a friend.
"Good," Sirius said, with a tone of finality.
Remus looked at him, with his head tilted to the side, trying to decipher what he meant. Sirius simply took a small portion of the flowers and gave it to him.
"In that case, I want to tell you the same," he said with the brightest smile Remus has seen him wearing in the last couple of years.
He was gobsmacked. Was Sirius saying what he thought he was saying? He gaped a few times until his brain caught up with what was happening. "You… Me?... Do you… " well, his brain was almost caught up.
"Yes, Remus, I feel the same towards you." Sirius got up off his chair and circled the table to stand in front of Remus. Remus turned to look at him. He gently cupped Remus' face in his hands. Remus stood up too, with Sirius' hands still on his face, caressing his cheekbones. A silent understanding passed between them, and with that, Remus went on his tiptoes as Sirius bent down a bit. Their lips met in the middle, in what will be the first of many many more sweet kisses.
It wasn’t silly at all.