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Rain fell torrentially outside. It rolled down the windows in rivulets and created demon-like shadows in the trees surrounding the manor, and if Childe listened closely enough he might be able to hear each individual drop of rain hitting the leaves of the grapevines.
He tugged the blanket around his shoulders closer as he poked at the fire with the iron tending rod. Sparks flew into the chimney as he turned the logs over, the fire crackling with a new fervor.
Childe sighed contentedly as he relished the warmth. Over the years of traveling he’d gotten accustomed to different types of weather, but he still found himself seeking any source of heat wherever he went.
He looked up at Diluc, who was working at his desk across the parlor. Maybe his habit of seeking out warmth was what led him to like Diluc so much.
Ironically enough, though, Diluc was the exact opposite of his beloved pyro Vision and the warmth Childe sought out; where fire warmed from a distance and burned up close, Diluc was merciless in the public eye yet gentle at his core.
“I wonder if the storm will ease up anytime soon,” Childe murmured pensively, more to himself than to Diluc. He wasn’t expecting a reply from Diluc, since he was too immersed in his work to pay attention to him.
As predicted, Diluc didn’t even acknowledge Childe.
Childe tossed another log into the fire. Sitting here next to the fireplace while a storm raged on outside reminded him of Snezhnaya, when he and his family would shut themselves inside their home for days as a blizzard swirled outside.
He glanced out of the window of Diluc’s manor where rain continued to fall; maybe this was the closest he’d get to home in Mondstadt.
“It’s disruptive,” muttered Diluc from his desk, his response so late that Childe had to think back on what he had said.
Diluc had long since changed out of his regular clothes and was now wearing a plain sleep shirt with matching pants, his hair tied into a low ponytail at the base of his neck while one hand played with his bangs absentmindedly. It was something he did when he thought no one was watching, and Childe wondered if it was some sort of stress relief for himself or just a childhood habit that carried into adulthood.
“I don’t know,” said Childe. He brought his knees up to his chest and rested his cheek against them, watching Diluc work. “I think it’s kind of nice.”
“Really?” Diluc said, clearly not registering a single word Childe just said. Childe still thought it was nice that he put in the effort, anyhow.
He drowsily watched Diluc go over and over his paperwork. They had been journeying with the Traveler and their friend in Wolvendom when the storm struck, so they ended up going back to the winery to wait it out. Originally they were just going to camp out there and resume their mission in the morning, but the storm got worse and Bennett kept getting struck by lightning. So off they went to the winery, where Bennett and the Traveler had fallen asleep hours ago.
It was now nearing two in the morning, and Childe and Diluc were the only ones left in the manor still awake.
The only light in the room was from Diluc’s candle and the fireplace, as well as a vase full of small lampgrass that Childe picked in Wolvendom earlier. Lightning would sporadically join the mix every so often.
Childe yawned, stretching his arms over his head. Diluc was still looking over payroll or something for the tavern and winery, occasionally mumbling under his breath absentmindedly. He looked tense, his posture rigid as he continued working.
In these quiet moments it felt like he and Diluc had the whole world to themselves, and the violent beast living in Childe settled down for the first time in a long time.
“Why don’t you take a break?” Childe asked, the warmth of the fire and the sound of the rain pushing him to sleep.
Diluc sighed and rolled his shoulders, looking over at Childe as if he was just now noticing he was there. “Why haven’t you gone to bed yet?”
Childe shrugged. “I can’t when you’re down here working your fingers off,” he said. “Besides, did you really expect me to be able to sleep with you grumbling over there?”
Diluc flushed, his hair and eyes glowing red from the fire. “There’s another room upstairs you can take,” he said, as if it caused him great pain to even offer it. He almost looked apologetic once he realized he was the one keeping Childe awake.
Earlier, when they arrived, Diluc had told Childe that he’d be sleeping on the floor of the downstairs parlor. Childe assumed that it was meant to be a punishment for being the object of Diluc’s supposed hatred, but Diluc didn’t know that Childe had slept in far less favorable conditions so sleeping on the floor next to a fireplace was more than luxurious.
Childe hummed in acknowledgement, smiling to himself. Diluc tried to act hard and tough, but over the course of traveling with him Childe had discovered that he was nothing more than a kind and caring person at his core.
“That’s okay,” he said as he laid down. He folded his jacket under his head, using it as a pillow. The carpet scratched at his bare torso where the blanket didn’t cover him, but he didn’t really care when the heat of the fire warmed him to his bones. “I like keeping you company. I don’t think I would’ve been able to sleep, anyway.”
“Why? Are you afraid of thunderstorms?” Diluc asked, his tone too mocking for Childe to take his teasing seriously. He was concerned for Childe, obviously not wanting to let it show. It was adorable.
“Mm, no,” Childe gave a dry laugh, glad his years in the Fatui allowed him to read people so easily. “I’m not really afraid of anything at this point.”
Diluc didn’t respond, and Childe looked up at him to see him watching the rain fall outside as flames danced in his eyes.
“Are you afraid of thunderstorms?” he asked, much softer and more considerate than Diluc did.
“Sometimes,” said Diluc, his voice so quiet that it was hard to hear him over the fire and the rain. He said it like he was embarrassed to admit it, and Childe didn’t push him.
Childe sat up and pat the spot on the carpet next to him. Diluc gave him a skeptical look before he joined him, abandoning his work in favor of the warmth of the fire.
“I don’t really like bears,” Childe told him as he put another piece of firewood into the fireplace. “I can easily take a bear in a fight, but I don’t like seeing them.”
“Bears?” Diluc repeated, his eyelids drooping as his exhaustion finally caught up to him. “Bears aren’t that scary.”
Childe chuckled and tugged the tie out of Diluc’s hair, earning a glare from him. “You’ve only got the small black bears here,” he said, pulling Diluc into his lap so he could comb his fingers through his hair. “In Snezhnaya, we’ve got the big white bears. You’ve seen them, haven’t you?”
“No,” Diluc mumbled sleepily as he hugged Childe’s thigh like a pillow. “I didn’t do much sightseeing while I was in Snezhnaya.”
Childe hummed and began to massage Diluc’s shoulders, hoping to ease some tension in them. When Diluc felt relaxed enough to become pliant in his hands like this, Childe could almost believe they’d had years to grow into their fondness for each other.
“They’re big,” said Childe, running his thumbs over Diluc’s eyebrows as he talked. “The size of a mitachurl, at least.”
“That’s not that big.”
“It is when your bears are only the size of hilichurls!” Childe said, gently tugging on Diluc’s hair with a laugh. “I was all supportive about your irrational fear. Why can’t you be supportive of mine?”
“My fear isn’t irrational,” said Diluc, his tone closing down any probability for probing.
“Yeah,” Childe murmured, forming little braids in Diluc’s hair as his mind raged with images of his past as fiercely as the storm outside. “Mine isn’t, either.”
Diluc rolled over so he could look up at Childe, his mouth tugged down in a pout. “Why are you being so nice to me?”
Childe froze before he pushed Diluc’s bangs away from his forehead. His thighs were starting to go numb from the weight of Diluc’s head at this point, but he found himself not really minding it.
“What do you mean?” he asked, shifting to get more comfortable.
Diluc sat up, and Childe instantly missed the weight and warmth he provided.
“I’m always mean to you,” said Diluc. “Why are you being nice to me now?”
Childe shrugged. “Our definition of cruelty is not the same.”
Diluc didn’t look happy with that answer. “That’s not something you should be accustomed to.”
Childe smiled at him. “I’ll tell that to my enemies in the future, if that’ll make you feel better,” he said, attempting to tug Diluc back into him.
Diluc nudged his hands away. “You can’t think that everyone who threatens to kill you is being kind,” he said. “Otherwise, you’ll end up thinking I’m in love with you.”
Childe laughed, leaning against the couch. His blanket lay discarded on the floor between them. “I’m not so socially stupid to think everyone who wants me dead is in love with me,” he replied.
Diluc didn’t say anything as they watched the fire, the storm raging around them as lightning flashed in the windows.
“...It would be nice, though,” Childe continued quietly. “If you could at least admit it.”
He leaned forward to poke the fire again, his heart rate picking up slowly but steadily. Over the years his feelings had gotten more and more squashed until he was emotionally dead, and now he didn’t know when the last time he actually felt nervous was.
Looking at Diluc after those last few words, though, Childe began to think that maybe this was it.
“What are you talking about?” Diluc asked as his gaze turned sharp and raptorial, the illusion of domesticity that Childe had conjured vanishing with it.
The tending rod was a heavy weight in Childe’s hands, as familiar to him as his weapons were. “Only that sometimes I wish you wanted to love me.”
Diluc put his hand on the back of Childe’s neck. His hand was ridiculously warm against his skin, and Childe leaned into the touch with a sigh. The storm around them seemed to go silent out of respect for their impending conversation, and even the fire was crackling more quietly.
“Why would you wish for someone like me to love someone like you?” Diluc asked, pulling Childe back to him. This time Childe’s back was pressed to Diluc’s chest with Diluc’s legs on either side of him, and Childe could feel Diluc’s raging heartbeat against his back even through his shirt.
“Probably for the same reason you wish you weren’t in love with me,” Childe said.
He didn’t know the extent of Diluc’s hatred for the Fatui or why he hated them so much, though he could guess that it ran deep for good reasons.
He did know that Diluc probably hated himself for loving Childe because of who he was and what he had done, because at the end of the day Childe only wanted Diluc to love him regardless of who he was and what he had done.
Diluc wrapped his arms around Childe’s middle, resting his chin on his shoulder. His hair tickled Childe’s face and his arms were warm against his skin as he caged him in, and Childe didn’t think he could ever feel such overwhelming affection for a person.
Diluc was the first person Childe allowed to get this close to him since he was fourteen. He wondered if Diluc knew the weight that fact carried.
“I’m not in love with you,” Diluc said into Childe’s skin, though he didn’t do much to sell the lie.
“I know you are,” said Childe, lifting an arm behind his head so he could thread his fingers in Diluc’s hair. “Why don’t you want to be?”
“You’re a Harbinger,” Diluc murmured, shuffling closer to Childe. “No one is supposed to fall in love with you.”
“And yet you did.”
Diluc tilted his head down so he could hide his face in Childe’s shoulder. “Yeah, I did,” he finally admitted, his voice muffled. He didn’t sound like himself, his voice much softer and more insecure than Childe had ever heard it.
“You don’t have to sound so depressed about it,” he said, unable to even savor the confession when Diluc sounded like he wanted to cry about it.
“It’s depressing,” said Diluc. “What am I going to do when you have to leave for work and I won’t see you for months?”
“I’ll write you,” said Childe. His heart was beating just as fast as Diluc’s now, which was more embarrassing for him since Diluc had moved his hand to the spot over Childe’s heart.
“It won’t be enough,” said Diluc, lightly tapping Childe’s collarbone in sync with the rain. “Letters from you won’t be enough when I’ve already got to experience this.”
“Then come with me,” Childe whispered, turning his head so his lips brushed Diluc’s forehead.
Diluc was silent for a couple minutes, his fingers rhythmically tapping out a tune on Childe’s skin. “Do you mean it?” he finally asked.
“I’ve never said anything I didn’t mean.”
“I’ll think about it,” Diluc said. “But you better not die while I’m around, understand?”
“I’ll make sure to die when you’re away then, princess.”
Diluc bit Childe’s shoulder, making him yelp and squirm out of his grasp. “Don’t call me princess,” said Diluc, “and dying anywhere is off limits.”
“Everyone dies someday, y’know,” Childe said, growing more serious. He understood Diluc’s fear; he didn’t know much about his backstory other than his dad was dead and he had something to do with it, so that was sure to be traumatizing.
Childe being who he was had received no shortage of life threatening injuries, and recently Diluc was always the one to patch him up. That was just how his life was and there wasn’t much he could do about it. It was something they had to accept and learn to live with, and Diluc was aware of it.
“I know,” said Diluc, his frown audible in his voice.
“You have to be more prepared for it with my line of work,” said Childe, tentatively leaning back into Diluc’s chest. “There’s always going to be a possibility that I’ll go out and won’t come back.”
“...I know,” repeated Diluc, quieter this time.
Childe scooched away from him until his back was to the fire and he was facing Diluc. “Knowing that, do you still want me?”
Diluc was quiet for a long time. The fire slowly crackled and died down behind Childe, leaving his back and arms to grow goosebumps as he shivered.
He could understand if Diluc decided not to pursue anything with him. Even if they were to become casually involved with each other instead of becoming something serious, constantly worrying if Childe would return after every mission was sure to take a great mental toll on him. He didn’t want to subject anyone to that kind of life.
“I’ll stop if you don’t want to,” said Childe, a mournful feeling twisting in his chest like his heart was already grieving their relationship before it even started. He’d respect Diluc’s decision with whatever he ended up choosing to do, but that didn’t mean that Childe would suddenly stop wanting him. “I won’t flirt with you anymore and I’ll leave you alone.”
Diluc leaned around Childe and tossed more wood into the fireplace, using his Vision to light it anew. “I want to,” he eventually said. “Someone has to make sure you come back.”
Childe smiled and looked down at the floor where his toes were buried in the carpet, his frantic pulse calming down a little. “I’m going to Sumeru next,” he said, his tongue feeling like rubber with the rush of relief that flooded him. “I leave in a month.”
Diluc hummed and grabbed Childe’s hand, playing with his fingers. “I hear they have quite the impressive library,” he said. “I’ve been wanting to expand my collection here at the winery.”
Childe looked at his hand in Diluc’s. His hand was smaller, but he had longer and bonier fingers while Diluc’s were shorter and rougher with callouses. They didn’t fit together perfectly like they were soulmates who were always meant to be together, but when Childe curled his fingers into Diluc’s, it was enough to to want to try.
“Let’s get to sleep, then,” said Childe as he swiped his thumb back and forth over Diluc’s knuckles. “We’ll talk about this more tomorrow, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Diluc agreed, his sleepy gaze transfixed on their hands as well. Childe really hoped this entire night hadn’t been a product of Diluc’s sleep deprivation and that he’d change his mind come morning—he was already fantasizing about taking Diluc to all his favorite places he’d traveled to, and once Childe got an idea in his mind it was set forever.
Childe let go of his hand and laid down on the floor as Diluc got up. Diluc put the fire out by nudging ashes over the flames before walking up the stairs to his bedroom, yawning adorably as he went.
Childe watched him go as he curled into himself, his mind racing too fast for sleep to be a consideration.
Diluc paused at the bottom of the stairs, turning around to give Childe a confused look. “Well?” he said.
“Well what?” Childe asked, tilting his head back to look at Diluc from the floor.
“Aren’t you coming?”
Childe blinked at him. “You told me I had to sleep on the floor.”
“That doesn’t apply anymore when we’ve agreed to be in love with each other,” said Diluc, blushing as red as his hair. Childe really liked the way he phrased that for some reason; as if he and Diluc were choosing to be in love rather than have it be an ailment infecting them both.
“What are we, then?” said Childe, sitting up once again.
“Hmm….” said Diluc, languidly scratching his shin with his foot. “I’ll think about it.”
“Husbands?”
“You’re moving way too fast,” said Diluc, giving Childe a small yet fond smile as he held his hand out. “Let’s start with just dating. Now, come on.”
Childe got to his feet and met Diluc at the foot of the staircase. “I guess we have all the time in the world to get to be husbands, huh?”
Diluc took his hand and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. “We do,” he said before leading Childe up the stairs.
Childe followed him up to his room, the storm outside thundering on.