Chapter Text
Lila was talking about the charity gala she’d attended last weekend in England. Marinette glared daggers into the back of her head from across the lunch room. Alya was sitting with Lila, so she was in the corner with Nathaniel and Marc.
“Marinette,” Nathaniel said drily, “what do you have against that sandwich?” She glanced down to realize she was squishing it in her unwittingly clenched fist. She dropped it with a sound of disgust.
“You need to let it go Mari,” counseled Marc, kicking his feet up into Nath’s lap.
“I can’t,” she glowered, “she’s lying.” Lila had just returned from another blessedly long absence, and she had a fresh crop of ostentatious lies to entrance the school with. But Marinette knew confronting her would be pointless. Whenever she tried to expose Lila, the class looked at her with wariness and pity, as if she were throwing a jealous tantrum over Lila’s connections with Adrien— which, alright, fine, she hated that Lila had a modeling career with Gabriel Agreste handed to her on a silver platter, and she hated the Vogue spread she and Adrien had appeared in together, chiseled jaws almost touching as they slouched against each other in typical haute couture pretentious boredom. But even Chloe with all her touchy-feely “Adrikins” bull didn’t get under her skin like Lila.
Being Ladybug, she saw how lies festered and turned to emotions black enough to draw akumas. Ethical rules were there for a reason. Lying was wrong. Stealing was wrong— she no longer palmed people’s phones in a panic to delete wayward texts and voicemails. And more than anything, LILA was wrong. She was like a cockroach scuttling around that no one else seemed to notice, or an infection only Marinette was wise too. Alix didn’t care about Lila’s stories anymore, and Marc and Nath basically knew she was lying, so over the past two years Mari had drifted closer to them and farther from Alya. She stood up in a huff and dropped her mangled sandwich into the garbage, too upset to eat anyways. She stormed out of the lunch room, the giggles and lauds of her classmates fawning over Lila skittering like spiders up her back.
In the restroom she splashed cold water on her face, untied her pigtails and redid them. Tikki popped her head up from Marinette’s bag. “Marinette, you knew she’d come back eventually. Now calm down before you attract an akuma!”
Marinette gritted her teeth and tipped her head back. “I know Tikki. I know.” She took a few deep breaths. She couldn’t lose her cool, no matter how angry Lila made her. Over the years of being Ladybug, she had studied every relaxation technique that the internet, yogis, and self-help conmen could teach her.
The bathroom door swung open and Lila sashayed inside. She narrowed her jade green eyes at Marinette and twirled a dark strand of hair around her finger. “Hi Marinette,” she crooned. “It’s so good to see you again.”
Marinette scoffed and rubbed her eyes. “Just don’t Lila.” Lila hovered close by, smile twisting her lips. She took soft steps towards Mari until they were nose to nose. Lila was taller by several inches, and used her height to look down disdainfully at Marinette. She seemed about to say something before changing her mind and washing her hands, humming to herself.
Marinette’s pulse beat in her neck. That girl could unnerve her like no one else. She held this latent power over her. Like when she’d gotten Marinette expelled and despised by her classmates with barely a day’s worth of effort. Had she not mysteriously decided to backtrack, Marinette would still be friendless, school-less, and alone, and Lila delighted in lording that over her with ever other breath.
As she gathered her things to leave, Alya squeezed her shoulder. “Me and the girls are going to go out for coffee. Want to come?”
Marinette forced a grateful smile onto her face and politely declined. “Maybe next time. See you tomorrow!” As she shouldered her bag, another girl stepped into the locker room. Marinette grinned. “Kagami!” Kagami’s mother hadn’t grown less strict as the years passed, but more, and her and Mari’s orange juice dates had lessened and lessened. Now she mostly got to see the serious girl now, right before fencing practice.
Kagami’s sober face broke into a smile that made her hazel eyes almost glow. “Hello Marinette,” she said, dipping her head. Marinette pulled her into a hug and clung tight until Kagami returned it. Marinette sat while Kagami unpacked her fencing gear. “How are you Marinette?”
“I’m okay. You?”
Kagami glanced up and stared at Marinette, brow furrowed, analyzing her. “Is something wrong?”
Marinette tipped her head back. “Lila’s back.”
Kagami’s nose scrunched in distaste. She was staunchly against liars, and believed Marinette that Lila was a notorious one. “That’s unfortunate.”
“It’s just so frustrating. She makes me feel… powerless.”
Kagami patted Marinette’s shoulder. “You aren’t powerless.”
“Aren’t I? Only a handful of people believe me over her. She could ruin my life at any moment, and I just have to hope that she won’t.”
“That’s true.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
“I’m not sure what you can do,” conceded Kagami, “but if anyone can think of a way out of this it’s you Marinette.”
Marinette hugged her friend again and left the locker room, immediately smacking into Adrien’s chest as she stepped through the doors. “Adrien!” she squeaked as he steadied her. He smiled down at her. He had the slightest blond stubble roughing his jaw and dark circles under his eyes. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been you," she babbled. "I mean, it’s seen a long time since you’ve been. I mean, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you.”
“Yeah,” he sighed, shifting his gym bag on his shoulder, “I couldn’t come to school the last few days. Work with father. I’m glad to be back. Glad to see you again.”
“Lila’s back,” Mari blurted. They’d hardly spoken of Lila’s compulsive bad habit, but she knew Adrien saw past the other girl’s veneer.
Adrien’s eyes darkened. “I know,” he sighed. He seemed about to say more, but simply squeezed Marinette’s shoulder and stepped past her. “I’ll see you tomorrow Marinette.”
“Yeah, she mumbled, “tomorrow.”
Tikki was using a broken crayon to work on the coloring page Marinette had printed out for her. She sat with her large head cocked to the side, little feet swaying, as she worked, humming. Marinette gently patted her with the tip of her finger then stretched and yawned, putting away her homework in her folder. She was tired, but she and Cat were due for patrol. The sun was setting over Paris. “Ready Marinette?” squeaked Tikki, dropping her crayon. Marinette nodded and stood up, gently fingering her earrings. At least now she could forget about Lila, and her inability to talk to Adrien, and the loneliness that had been seeping into her for the past few years. Ladybug wasn’t lonely.
“Tikki, spots on!” The transformation was a pleasant fizz as the power ran through her body, the costume growing like a second skin. In a flash of pink it was done, and where Marinette had once stood was the confident, coordinated super heroine of Paris. She hopped onto her balcony, grabbed her yoyo, and swung it to wrap around the neck of a far off gargoyle. With the smallest tug she was sailing through the air, watching the streetlights blink on. When she landed deftly on their favorite rooftop, Cat Noir was already there, kicking his legs and singing softly. Her heart iced over with memories.
“Little kitty on a roof,” he crooned, “all alone without his— there she is!” He sprung to his feet and took her hand, kissing it like an old-timey gentleman. She forced a smile and snatched her hand back, letting her heart rate settle. He was Cat Noir. Cat Blanc didn’t even exist, in fact, never had existed, except in the minds of her and Bunnix. Why did it still get to her?
“Hey kitty. Got a route picked for us today?”
“Prepared as always Bugaboo,” he winked, and with a whoop extended his stick and vaulted over the city. Now a real smile alighted on Ladybug’s face as she felt the supernatural power in her muscles spark, like an engine revving. All she wanted to do now was go, follow her partner into the night, lap the whole city. She was almost hoping someone would get akumatized so she could take out some of the day’s stress on a villain, then bit her lip. Violence wasn’t the answer here. She threw her yoyo and followed Cat Noir, still grinning, across Paris.
When she dropped onto her own building just past eleven, her cheeks hurt from smiling. They’d stopped a pickpocket near the Louvre and signed a few autographs, but other than that the night had been low-key, just her and her kitty exploring Paris. She loved her city even more from its rooftops, when nothing was out of bounds for her. “Tikki, spots off!” The kwami giggled as she spiraled out from the miraculous, and Marinette winced at the feeling of all that power leaving her. Once again, she was just the lonely high schooler who couldn’t talk to her crush. She handed Tikki a chocolate chip cookie and then clambered to her balcony and down through the hatch. She went downstairs to kiss her parents goodnight and make a cup of tea, then curled up on her settee and dripped some of the tea into a doll’s cup for Tikki.
“You seem in a much better mood, Marinette!”
“Yes,” she smiled, sipping her tea. “Being Ladybug… it’s a nice escape. And seeing Cat Noir.”
“He’s really become a close friend, hasn't he?”
“Yes. My most loyal friend of all.” How many times had the scrappy alley cat almost died for her? And always with a wink and a smile. That’s how much he trusted his lady. She said goodnight to the other kwamis, undid her pigtails and changed into pajamas, then climbed into bed with Tikki curled on the pillow beside her. She fell asleep thinking of her best friend, and smiling.
That was a mistake. She should’ve known to push Cat Noir from her mind before drifting off. She was back on the desolate roof of the Mont Parnasse, the sky slate gray above her, Cat Blanc advancing towards her, pleading.
“Marinette, my love,” he begged, “give me your miraculous, give it to me, I’ll fix everything.” The tower shuddered and slipped further into the water. Cat Blanc was tall, icy eyes menacing, bold.
“That’s not my name,” she said, “I’m not Marinette.”
“You can’t hide from me,” he hissed and leapt forward to grip her wrists. In her dream world, she was weak, felt like she was moving through water.
“Stop it Cat!” she yelped, “I’m not Marinette!” Cat Blanc’s fingers felt cold and probing as they snaked over her body. It felt like he was leeching the strength right out of her.
She sat up, gasping, and drenched in sweat. Early morning light tinted her whole room blue and otherworldly. “What is it Marinette?” asked Tikki sleepily.
“Him again,” she gulped. I’m not Marinette. I’m not Marinette.
“You beat him. You won, Marinette.”
“I won,” Marinette echoed, blinking fast. Then why do I still dream of him? Why does he still scare me? I’m not Marinette. If only.