Chapter Text
'Deku Now The Number One Hero!'
'Youngest Number One Hero: Deku!'
'The Future's Looking Bright For The New Number One Hero, Deku!'
That's all Bakugou's been hearing for the past week. Only talk about Deku being the Number One Hero. This has been something Deku's always wanted. As his number one supporter, Bakugou was happy for him. He's watched Deku strive for this position. Watched him sacrifice himself for others. And throughout everything, he always had that damn smile on his face.
But-
No. Bakugou was glad for him. Why wouldn't he be? Deku was his best friend. Best friends support each other no matter what. He'd be a shit friend if he wasn't happy for him and he knows there isn't much room for him to be a dick to Deku anymore. He was the first one of Class 3-A to become the Number One Hero. He was also the first in the class to break through into the top 10. Not Bakugou. But he works by Deku's side to encourage him to do greater.
Bakugou was the first one Deku called to tell him the news. It's not like Bakugou didn't know beforehand. It was all over the news after all. The call was cut short. Deku rambled for a minute then eagerly said he had to go tell his mom.
Bakugou sorta just sat there after the call. Stared at the black screen of his phone. The rising, ruthless emotions of jealousy were rapidly filling his body. Anger flared. He wanted to scream and yell about how it wasn't fair! That the Number One Hero was his spot, not Deku's. Stupid quirkless Deku.
The blond quickly shook those thoughts out of his head. The anger was replaced with guilt. He was doing so much better and now he was reverting back to his old ways of thinking. What was wrong with him? Why were these thoughts infecting such a good occasion? He really is selfish. His mother was right. All he cared for was his own pursuit in life. He hated it. He wanted to be excited for Deku - and he was! - but the almost overwhelming jealousy drowned out most of the positive feeling.
"Kat?"
Bakugou lifted his head. Todoroki was standing in the doorway.
"Are you alright?" Todoroki questioned.
"Yeah," He easily lied.
Todoroki hummed, making his way to sit on the bed next to him. Bakugou could feel the other's eyes on him and he had half the mind to tell him to fuck off. But Todoroki's presence calmed him. Not that he was going to tell the idiot that. It'd go straight to his ego (he's a bad influence on the Todoroki).
"Did you hear about Deku?" Todoroki asked as if they were speaking about something mundane like the weather. They both knew it was anything but mundane though.
"It's hard to not fucking hear about him." Bakugou cringed at how bitter he sounded.
Todoroki didn't seem affected by the obvious bitterness. "That's true," He said. Then he continued. "I heard our old class will be throwing a party in celebration. Will we be attending?"
Bakugou scoffed. "Of course, we will. Shit question. Deku's our friend."
"I'm aware of that. I just thought-"
Bakugou shot up from the bed, cutting off what he knew Todoroki was going to say. Something about if Bakugou didn't feel comfortable because of his childish, petty feelings then they wouldn't go. He didn't need to hear his boyfriend verbalize that.
"I'm going on a run," Bakugou announced, already at the door of the room.
It wasn't until half a mile into the run when Bakugou realized Todoroki was willing to skip out on Deku's - Todoroki's first friend - celebration if Bakugou said to. He wasn't sure how to feel about that. Warm inside that Todoroki would do that for him? Or nauseous because his own inner faults were so evident.
Their old class did in fact throw a party for Deku a few days later. Their entire class was there including a few of their teachers including All Might and a few other heroes. After year 1 of U.A., All Might resigned as a teacher and stuck to mentoring Deku. Not that Bakugou cared or anything. It's not like he was the one to inherit One For All.
The party went by in a haze. Bakugou spoke to Deku first. Congratulated him in person. It wasn't hard to slap on a small smile as he uttered the words. There was surely something inside himself that died at the words. The dork broke out crying and hugged the life out of Bakugou. He declared that he couldn't have done it without Bakugou by his side. Patting him on the shoulder, Bakugou ordered him to stop getting his shirt wet with his loser tears.
Bakugou felt tired. He had just enough energy to greet his little squad before they went off to practically inhale alcohol. That left him to brood at one of the tables alone. It wasn't the wisest choice. But he wasn't going to join his friends in drinking because it was unhealthy and he didn't trust that he'd not say something regretful with alcohol in his system. Then Todoroki was with his friend group. So it looked like it was his only choice.
Bakugou's thoughts didn't even have proper time to attack him before All Might stood up, ready to give a speech. The room got quiet, awaiting what would be said. Deku preened.
"I think this title for Young Midoriya is long overdue," All Might began. He stuck with calling Deku 'Young Midoriya' although he was not so young anymore.
Bakugou blanked out. He couldn't stand to hear All Might praise Deku again. He'd be sick. Sick with the situation, with himself. The hurt of his idol turning to Deku never healed. It never would. The fact that All Might picked Deku over him would forever haunt him. Deku deserved it though. The greenette got the coaching he always sought and needed.
"I always knew you could do it!"
Bakugou heard All Might tell Deku. He clenched his fists, biting his tongue. He didn't want unwelcomed words coming from his mouth.
"You're gonna be the one to save the world!"
The room clapped and cheered while Bakugou held back the explosions threatening to spark from his hands. His body heated up, and he'd be worried about literally blowing up if he wasn't brimming with fury. That was his spot! All Might should be saying that to him! They should be proud of him!
The threat of his quirk going off dissipated. His anger drained away leaving him adrift the neverending sea of sadness; disappointment; guilt. Deku was the Number One Hero before Bakugou. When Bakugou was a child, he would never in a million years believe this would happen. Then the first year of U.A. came along and Bakugou had a sinking feeling that it might happen, but there was still room for him to stay ahead. But as time went on, the dream for himself became bleak. The thing Bakugou tried and tried for, all the blood and tears, and Deku got it before him.
He's not exactly saying Deku hasn't given just as much as him. But he doesn't recall Deku spending his entire childhood doing strenuous exercise so he was closer to the goal. Or learning first aid so he could patch himself up after a training activity went wrong. No. Deku was crying. And that was unfair to say because Bakugou was the majority of the reason for Deku's tears.
"Bakugooooooo!" Kaminari obnoxiously whined.
The smarter of the two blonds scrunched his nose when he smelled the alcohol coating the other.
"Come party!" Kaminari said, leaning half his body on the table.
"Leave me the fuck alone," Bakugou spat.
"No way! This is a party! Have fun!"
Bakugou rolled his eyes. "Get the fuck away from me."
Kaminari squinted at him before a grin split his face. "You're jealous!"
Bakugou mustered up his best glare, biting his tongue so hard, the taste of blood adorned his mouth.
"It's okay," Kaminari sensuously reassured. "We all can't be number one. I've learned that a looooong time ago."
When Bakugou's sight got blurry, he knew it was time to distance himself from the crowd. He got up from his seat, speeding walking to the nearest bathroom.
He leaned on the sink counter, hands out in front of him. He inhaled deeply through his nose, closing his eyes in order to regain his composure. The bathroom was much quieter. There was a pounding in his ears.
"Katsuki."
Todoroki always seemed to find him.
"What?" Bakugou gruffly responded.
"I was looking for you," He said, his steps echoing in the bathroom.
With a sigh, Bakugou stopped gripping the counter and opened his eyes. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He couldn't bear looking at such a disappointment right now. So he turned to Todoroki. Looking at him was almost as bad in a different sense. Todoroki had that little frown paired with caring eyes. And Bakugou knows it's not pity, but it feels so much like it.
"What do you want?" Bakugou asked.
"Do you want to talk?"
"About?"
Todoroki gave a pointed look. "You know what."
Bakugou removed his eyes from him, crossing his arms. Neither talked. Hours could pass before one did break the silence. They were both stubborn. Perhaps a little too stubborn at times. But it seemed that Bakugou didn't have the will for his usual level of stubbornness because he spoke a few minutes into the silent contest.
"It's deserved," Bakugou began. His eyes flickered down as he gathered his thoughts, and Todoroki let him, waiting patiently for an elaboration.
"Deku becoming the Number One Hero while I don't. But I-"
Todoroki put a comforting hand on his arm.
"It just fucking sucks," Bakugou said. "I worked my entire life to become the Number One Hero. I spent so much fucking time and energy and Deku fucking gets it before me?!"
His nose stung with unshed tears. Impulsively, Bakugou flung himself in Todoroki's arms, hiding his face in the other's collarbone. Todoroki wrapped his arms around him snuggly.
"And I'm not saying he doesn't deserve it because he does. He went through it," Bakugou continued, voice muffled.
"I know," Todoroki said, running his hand up and down his back. "It's normal to be jealous of such an achievement. Definitely, if it's a goal of yours.
"It just matters how you outwardly act. So there's no need to have guilt for these feelings. It's okay."
Bakugou hugged him tighter. "W-Was it not worth it?" And Bakugou wanted to kick himself for saying that, but it's been a constant thought recently.
"That depends on you. What is being a hero to you? Is it just a ranking?"
Immediately, Bakugou shook his head.
"Then I think it's worth it. You've already done so much and your career is long from being over," Todoroki said. "You shouldn't rank your own talents, 'Suki. You always say being a hero is about victory. And with how much you win, it's without a doubt worth it."
Bakugou's bottom lip quivered. Todoroki was right. Bakugou has revamped his whole meaning of what it means to be a hero years ago. Numbers weren't everything to him anymore. But the need to be ranked highly, to be approved by everybody was still apparent in his life.
A few tears slipped from his eyes. "Is All Might proud of me?" He whispered as if it were a secret. It kind of was. Out of anyone's approval, Bakugou always attempted to get it from All Might. He didn't get half of it compared to Deku. Not by a landslide.
"Kat," Todoroki muttered.
A long-awaited sob escaped Bakugou, hot tears soon following. Todoroki held him closer, a hand pushing Bakugou's head nearer to his chest. He rested his head on top of his.
"I'm certain he did," Todoroki truthfully stated. "How could he not? You've shown great improvements in your work. You still do after all these years."
Bakugou clutched Todoroki's shirt, poorly breathing around his sobs.
"You've come such a long way. Back in first year when I met you, you would've never congratulated Midoriya," Todoroki praised. "You've matured, Katsuki.
"I don't know if it means anything to you, but I'm proud of you."
His heart skipped a beat. He cried even harder because that meant everything to him. Bakugou knew he was lucky to have Todoroki as a partner, but him saying that, doing this, really emphasized that point. Hearing him say that made him quite dizzy. He doubts hearing All Might say that would have the same effect. Todoroki's been there for him more than All Might ever has. Ever could... ever will.
"You'll always be my number one hero."