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death is inevitable. doyoung knew it too well, for he was death himself. dawdling on the depths of earth, searching for lost souls left wandering the universe looking for tranquility. until he met him, again. the familiar orbs looking at him with such tenderness. the same lips smiling at him warmly. he is waving at doyoung as if death is not the one waiting for him.
the boy is sitting in an old looking bus stop, the sun embracing his skin as he stood up to meet doyoung on the other side of the road. in every step he took, doyoung can't help but to wonder. how can he be so carefree when he was faced with death? humans naturally fear death, may be from the unknown that comes after it? the loneliness of dying alone? doyoung never really cared, until now.
"lee taeyong. date of death, january 16, 2021, 5:34 pm, died in his sle-" in a swift, the boy enveloped him in a hug. doyoung protested but the boy didn't budge, instead he buries his head on the crook of doyoung's neck.
"i've waited so long for this." he said, not wanting to break the embrace. doyoung just stood there, frozen, unable to respond.
a strange- no, a familiar looking boy is hugging him tight and as bizarre as it looks like, he seems to enjoy the moment. it's as if he also waited for this in a long time, like a dream he constantly tries to remember after waking up in the morning.
there's something in his heart that his mind couldn't decipher. hurt? longing? until it came to him like a bulldozer, of the memories that he long forgotten, the nostalgia engulfing him whole. streams of tears flowed faster than a heartbeat.
"you know i would trade the world for your smile right?" taeyong said before caressing doyoung's hair. they're sitting in a bus stop, waiting for the sun to succumb to the moon. doyoung leaned his head on taeyong's shoulder while they listen to the noise of the vehicles passing by the road accompanied by the calming sound of the waves.
"where will we live then?" doyoung giggled and taeyong got up to think, blocking the sunlight from doyoung's face. the sun is now near the horizon, it's one of the prettiest scene but doyoung is distracted by the boy in front of him. taeyong will always be more beautiful than anything.
"what if we just fly to the moon? we're gonna build a house there and start a family with our dogs, oh! do you want a cat? we can bring a cat too! i'm naming her jasmine or do you want kath-"
"silly, we can't live there. do you even study science?" doyoung replied which made taeyong pout. he wants to kiss taeyong's lips so bad.
"but doie-"
"jasmine is a common name, make it pickles." with this, they both started laughing. as the night takes over, doyoung's heart is happy.
the scene changed.
"did he hurt you again?" taeyong held doyoung's shaking hands. he's on the verge of crying but he's trying his hard to suppress his emotions.
"let's watch a movie? what do you want?" doyoung said, attempting to divert the topic. he didn't want to be a burden to taeyong, he's done enough for him.
"doie, tell me. did he hurt you again?" taeyong asked again, worriedly. doyoung just gave him a clueless look and removed his hands from taeyong's.
"frozen? do you want to watch frozen? wait, tangled! you love flynn rider right?" doyoung is persistent to avoid the topic. defeat spread all over taeyong's face.
"fine. if he hurt you again, you have to tell me, doie, huh?" taeyong gave doyoung a hug and at that exact moment, doyoung feels secured. taeyong is his safe haven, his escape to his cruel reality.
pitch black. the scene changed again. this time, doyoung is in his room. he's writing a letter but he didn't fail to notice the droplets of water that is visible on the piece of paper. he's crying.
"i'm sorry. i'm sorry, yong." he said between tears. he continued to write his letter, not minding the phone that kept on vibrating on the other side of the table.
"i love you."
doyoung liked being surrounded by darkness, for he was able to break free from the ruthless society that tormented him for so long. so he hid from the shadows of the people he loved the most as he succumbed to the darkness.
he woke up.
"doie?" taeyong is now standing in front of him, face filled with worry as he cupped doyoung's face. after all this time, taeyong is still the same taeyong, his taeyong. and as much as he wants taeyong to be beside him always, to show him how much he misses him, he can't. how can he go back from the decision he made long ago? from the choice between life and death? he didn't ponder enough. he made this selfish choice but forgot to consider the angel waiting for him to show up at their meeting place, at the bus stop. he forgot the only light that will always be there to brightened the way in the dark and keep him warm during the cold nights. he forgot how much pain taeyong will feel if he left just like that. doyoung turned away.
"stop." he said, and taeyong took a step back, giving him the space he needed.
"just why? why do you keep on waiting for me?" doyoung said between tears, his vision is blurry but he can clearly see the smile that escaped taeyong's lips, the same lips that he adores so much.
"you deserve better, taeyong. you deserve a life full of joy. do not waste your lifetime waiting for death. open your heart, start again. even without me." he whispered the last part, not loud enough for taeyong to hear but taeyong pulled him in a hug.
"death is inevitable. if death is the only way i can hold you like this then i can wait for another lifetime."