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Jim Kirk woke up in chains.
He blinked blearily. His head throbbed and there was something sticky in his hair. Blood.
“Hello?” Jim called out into the darkness. He strained against the heavy chains that were suspending him in midair by his arms. “Is anyone there? Where am I?” Jim tried to remember what had happened to get him here.
An away mission. Klingons had been in this sector. A planet of unknown aliens with a militaristic culture, perfect allies for the Klingons. He and Spock had beamed down to see if any interference had taken place- Spock! Where was Spock? Jim called out for his boyfriend, panic rising in his throat. He could faintly feel Spock’s presence through their mental bond, but it was distant. He was being kept separately, assuming he was captured too.
How had Jim been captured? He must have been hit in the head hard, if he couldn’t remember. Slowly, memories came back to him.
The aliens were tall and strong, clad in what looked like a high-tech armor system made of an unknown white material. There were several guarding the entrance to the city, which was surrounded by a forcefield. Jim had introduced himself, “I’m Captain Kirk of the U.S.S. Enterprise, representing the United Federation of Planets.” He hadn’t gotten to the explanation of why they were there. Before he could ask about Klingons, one of the alien guards had leaned down and peered at him through the slits of their helmet.
“You are Leader?” it had asked in a deep growl.
“Uh, yes, I’m the leader of my ship,” Jim had answered somewhat awkwardly, unnerved by the hulking figure’s proximity. He had backed away, then Spock had tensed next to him, there was a blow to his head-
And now he was here. He had no idea where here was, however. He called out again into the surrounding darkness. There was no response except for a sudden flooding of light that made Jim shut his eyes. When he opened them, he could finally see where he was, though it didn’t answer any of his questions.
He was in a vast white dome with no visible doors. Everything was pristine and clean, save for the chains that suspended him between the rounded ceiling and the floor. He grimaced at the splatters of what was presumably blood that covered the heavy chains. Jim couldn’t see behind him, but to his side there was a metal monolith with various weapons and instruments of torture magnetized to it. He breathed heavily, not panicking but certainly not looking forward to staying in this room. On top of the monolith, his communicator and phaser had been placed neatly next to a vessel adorned with intricate designs.
Jim shook at the chains, but they wouldn’t budge. “Is someone there?” He yelled. There was a whooshing sound from behind him, and footsteps.
“Kirk is awake,” said a low, raspy voice. The alien that circled in front of him could barely be seen under a massive black cloak, which featured the same silver designs on the vessel atop the monolith. Jim couldn’t see the alien’s face under the pointed hood, but the rest of its body seemed to be clothed in similar armor as the guards, only it was black rimmed in silver.
“Who are you? Why have you brought me here? We came in peace, we only meant to see if there were Klingons here.” Jim tried to sound confident, but it was difficult when the alien stood taller than him even though he was hanging in the air.
“I do not know this Klingons of which you speak.” The alien looked him up and down. “I am Varatok, Tester of Leaders.”
“Look, uh, Varatok, there’s been some sort of misunderstanding. We pose no threat to your people, there was no reason to capture me and…” Jim realized he needed to choose his next words carefully. He had no idea where Spock was, but they were clearly planning on torturing Jim, and there would be no better way to do that than to hurt Spock. He couldn’t let them know of their bond. “Where is my first officer?” he said coolly.
“He is safe,” Varatok said. “No harm will come to your second in command.” Jim’s sigh of relief turned into a choking gasp as suddenly Varatok’s clawed purple hand was clenched around his throat. “He is not Leader, so he will not be harmed.” Jim struggled against his grip. Varatok’s strong fingers dug into his throat harder. “As for you, there has been no misunderstanding. You are Leader, and Leaders must be Tested.”
Jim writhed, trying futilely to breathe. “Let… me… go,” he managed to choke out.
“You will be free to go if you pass the Test.” Varatok finally let go, and Jim coughed violently. He gasped for breath, still feeling the bruising pain on his neck. Well, no Klingon interference, he thought, they’re just brutal on their own. Jim steeled himself. He’d been tortured before, he knew what to expect. What’s important is that Spock is safe.
Varatok walked over to the monolith. He grabbed something without looking from the side Jim couldn’t see. Whatever strange ritual this was, he’d done it many times. As he walked back in front of Jim, two wires trailed between the monolith and whatever Varatok was holding. Noticing Jim’s interest, he opened his hand to reveal two barbed points at the end of the wires, and what appeared to be some sort of remote control.
Jim stiffened. “I don’t know what kind of barbaric custom this is,” his voice was hoarse, “but where I come from, leaders are chosen for their ability to- unh!” Varatok cut him off with a sharp punch in the face. Jim sniffed up the blood that came trickling down his nose. He exhaled sharply when Varatok struck him in the stomach. “Just let us go! You have no reason to-” Varatok struck him again. Damn, he hits hard. “We came here to look for Klingons and I don’t see any purple blood on these chains, so just-” Slap to the face. “We’ll go back to our ship and leave you- ah!” Varatok raked his claws down the side of Jim’s cheek. Fuck, I need to learn to shut up.
Satisfied at his silence, Varatok drew a small knife from his cloak and slid it down the front of Jim’s shirt. Jim looked down to see a thin line of blood form as the larger alien pulled his shirt open. Jim flinched as the barbed ends of the wires were shoved under either side of his ribs.
Varatok stepped back and pressed a button on the remote. Electricity ran through Jim’s body and he bit his lip to stop from shrieking. He convulsed, bruising his hands and ankles against his shackles, trying to take deep breaths but finding he could only shudder and gasp. He willed himself to ignore the pain, telling himself that he was doing this to save Spock. He wasn’t, the aliens seemed to have no interest in anyone who wasn’t a “Leader”, but he found it easier to be tortured if he was sacrificing himself for his lover.
Blood filled his mouth from where he was biting his lip. He gasped as Varatok rotated a dial and the pain increased. Then, panic that wasn’t his own filled his mind.
Spock! He was close, and clearly could tell that Jim was in danger. Jim couldn’t make out precise thoughts, but tried to project reassurance to tell Spock that he was alive, if a bit fried.
Across the dome, a hexagonal panel that Jim hadn’t noticed jutted forward and slid to the side. Jim could make out the silhouette of a guard slumping over, Spock’s hand at their neck.
Spock ran into the room. His eyes widened as he took in Jim’s chained up body, spasming with electricity, with a bruised neck and scratches on his cheek. Spock was yelling but Jim couldn’t hear him. He ran towards Jim, brandishing his phaser. Varatok seemed unconcerned, simply increasing the voltage that was coursing through Jim’s body. Spock was closing the gap between them as Jim shook harder, but then he smacked into an invisible wall. He pounded on the forcefield, shouting. Jim could feel his alarm and concern for him through their bond.
Varatok turned away from Jim for a moment. “Come to save your Leader?” He wagged a long purple finger at Spock, who glowered at the alien with a rage Jim had never seen in him. “I’m afraid not,” Varatok continued, “You will only get him back if he passes the Test.”
Jim tried to concentrate through the pain to communicate with Spock through their bond. Spock… it’s okay… I’ll be okay…
Spock’s thoughts were jumbled in his frenzy to get to Jim. They cannot- Jim you must- no, no, stop, don’t hurt him!
It’s okay, Jim pressed. The pain was overbearing, but all he cared about was calming Spock. Spock shook his head, eyes wide with fear.
“Fine,” Varatok said suddenly. “Let’s move on, shall we?” He turned off the electricity, and Jim slumped over, breathing slowly. His whole body was exhausted. He wanted to sleep, he could feel his eyes fluttering shut-
No! Jim, no, you must stay conscious! Jim lifted his head to look at Spock, who was mouthing his name, panicked. Please, Jim, they’ll kill you!
What? Jim’s head dipped down again. Varatok was watching Spock’s distress with pleasure, and closely monitoring if Jim had passed out.
This ritual- they believe only the strong can lead. If you can’t stay awake through the torture, they will kill you, Jim, please-
Shit. Okay, I’m fine, Spock, please don’t worry. Jim inhaled deeply, then straightened to stare down Varatok. “That all you got?” He smirked at the alien, ignoring Spock’s frustration at Jim’s need to taunt his tormentor.
“No, it is not,” Varatok replied, sinister. He took the two wires in one hand and pulled hard. Jim stifled a cry as the barbed points ripped out of his abdomen. Spock was breathing as heavily as Jim. He pounded up and down the length of the forcefield, trying to find a weak point. It was no use, and Jim was only glad it wasn’t the kind of forcefield that would throw Spock backwards.
Varatok replaced the wires with a large mace, which didn’t calm Spock down one bit. Jim was trying not to show his fear as the alien stalked back to Jim’s side. “You have done well so far, for your small size. Let us see if your bones are weaker.” He raised the mace and brought it down on Jim’s right knee.
Jim couldn’t stop from shrieking as the joint shattered and was pushed backwards. He clenched his teeth, tried to brace for the other leg, but still grunted as the mace struck his left knee. He could hear various combinations of no and stop from Spock’s mind. He made eye contact with his boyfriend, trying to reassure him that he’d be alright, but he couldn’t stop the pain from reading on his face. He would have been able to feel Spock’s anguish even without their mental link.
It hurts… so much…
I’m sorry, Jim, hold on, please.
Jim winced. He’d forgotten to shield his thoughts to stop Spock from hearing about his pain. Sorry, I didn’t mean-
Do not apologize for what you can’t control.
Jim looked down fearfully as Varatok knelt by the chains at his feet, already covered in blood from his knees.
Jim, look at me. He met Spock’s gaze. His deep brown eyes were filled with sorrow. Jim trembled and cried out but didn’t break his gaze as Varatok brought the mace down on first his right, then his left foot.
Spock, you shouldn’t watch this.
Spock pursed his lips. I’m as trapped in this room as you are. I don’t know how to activate the doors.
Spock, please, I don’t want you to be hurt. I’m sorry we ever came to this planet.
This isn’t your fault Jim. I’ve contacted the Enterprise, there’s help on the way, but we’re underground in the center of the city. They can’t beam here, only to the city’s edge. You have to hold on, please, hold on for me.
Jim’s head spun. It was hard to form coherent thoughts to project at Spock. I will.
He hadn’t noticed Varatok go back to the monolith during their mind-conversation. Now, the alien held up a whip in front of his face, and he shook his head slightly. The whip had multiple strands of twisted metal fiber that was frayed and sharp on the end. The forcefield flashed as Spock pounded on it, yelling and pleading even though he couldn’t be heard.
Jim tried to keep Spock’s gaze as Varatok circled around to his back and brought the whip down hard. He winced as pain flashed throughout his back, a million tiny cuts. When the whip struck a second and third time, Jim’s vision was black around the edges. His throat hurt, both from being choked earlier and from shrieking whenever the whip hit him.
Spock’s thoughts were almost as jumbled as Jim’s. By the time the number of whippings was in the double digits, Jim couldn’t stand seeing Spock’s face crumple every time. He didn’t think he’d ever seen his boyfriend in such visible distress.
Please… don’t watch… it hurts… don’t wanna hurt… you…
How can I not? Spock responded. I can hear you, Jim…
Having learned that, Jim made extra care to not make noise when he was whipped for, what, the twenty-fifth time? He’d lost track. What was left of his shirt had fallen to the floor, soaked with blood. His vision swam and he idly wondered how much blood he’d lost. His knees and feet were still bleeding, he could feel it, along with the many cuts in his back and the two jagged holes by his ribcage that were still bleeding sluggishly. He felt himself slump, slowly sinking into unconsciousness, but he couldn’t remember why that was bad…
No! Stay awake, Jim, you have to stay awake, please!
Jim lifted his head with great effort. “Can’t…” he croaked. “Too much…”
Varatok stopped his assault on Jim’s back to approach Jim from the front, grabbing his chin roughly. “I thought you might impress me. But you can’t even stay awake for your pointy-eared pet?”
Jim growled at the shadowy face under the hood. “He’s not- you have to stop, for your own sake…” He couldn’t get the words out to threaten Varatok, but Spock caught on. His communicator beeped from where it sat on the monolith. Varatok sighed and let go of Jim, walking over to answer.
Jim perked up at the sound of Spock’s voice. “You must stop,” Spock’s voice was hoarse from yelling, and the fear in it made Jim quiver. “There’s a landing party on its way.” Spock stared intently at Varatok as he spoke into his communicator, trying his best to sound threatening, which he did from sheer anger even if his voice trembled. “If you kill our Captain, it will be considered an act of war by the Federation. Cease your torment at once.”
Jim couldn’t tell if Spock was bluffing. Neither could Varatok, apparently. “Very well,” the alien replied coldly. He crushed the communicator in his clawed hand. “We shall skip to the last portion of the Test.” Ignoring the other torture instruments on the monolith, Varatok grabbed a thin curved dagger inscribed with the same ritual designs as his cloak and the vessel on top of the monolith. He dipped the dagger inside the vessel, and it came out coated in a thin greenish liquid.
Spock resumed striking at the forcefield. Jim noted with concern that his hands were raw from the repeated impact. He was trying to send calm Spock’s way, but when Varatok stepped in front of him and abruptly shoved the knife into his stomach, all Jim could think of was pain. Varatok twisted the knife.
Pain flooded Jim’s entire body and mind. A stabbing cold radiated throughout his body, which spasmed wildly. Jim was screaming, Spock was screaming. He couldn’t breathe, it felt like he was being dissolved from the inside out.
Jim didn’t think it could get worse, but then he realized that the fear in his mind was solely his own. He couldn’t feel Spock! Whatever was in that poison…
Spock was roaring, throwing his whole body against the forcefield. Jim’s thoughts were shockingly clear: He can’t feel me, he must think I’m dying.
Am I dying?
Jim tried to call out for Spock, but all that came out was a spasming cough. Varatok was watching him shake and scream with pleasure. The next minute came between flashes of black.
The hexagonal door opening again, Sulu, Bones, Scotty, and a security team running into the room. Bones grabbing Spock, stopping him from hurting himself against the forcefield, looking at Jim with alarm. Spock yelling at Scotty, gesturing wildly at the forcefield. Scotty running out of the room. His crew, and his boyfriend, phasers drawn. A flash that wasn’t from his failing vision, the forcefield falling.
Then, a knife at his throat. Jim tried to control his seizing to avoid getting nicked by the knife. Varatok was behind him, pressed close to his bleeding back.
“One more step, and he dies.”
Spock was shaking. “Don’t you dare,” cried Bones. Sulu and the security team lowered the phasers tensely, Spock’s just shook in his hand.
Jim choked out what could barely be recognized as Spock’s name, trying to let him know that he was alive, could hear them. The knife pressed closer.
“You wouldn’t,” Spock said, “your ritual wouldn’t allow it. He’s awake, he’s passed the test. You must let him go.”
Varatok carefully circled around to the front of Jim, keeping the knife by his neck. Jim’s chest heaved. Air only came in sharp, keening breaths. He wasn’t sure Varatok even needed the knife to kill him.
“And if I let him go? You kill me, and you will never make it out of the city.” Spock clenched his fist that wasn’t holding the phaser. Bones was rocking up and down on his heels nervously. Sulu’s hand wavered by the phaser on his belt.
“My species is peaceful,” Spock said, “but I would kill you for what you’ve done.”
“Very well,” Varatok replied, “You may stay. The rest of you must leave.”
Spock was tense as he gestured for the rest of the crew to leave. Bones looked like he was going to protest, but the sheer amount of emotion written into Spock’s stony features was enough to make him shut up.
Jim felt like he might shatter. Every inch of his body throbbed with pain. Sweat was pouring from his temples even though he felt chilled to the bone. His arms were dislocated from the seizures. And worst of all, he still couldn’t feel Spock.
As soon as the door slid shut, Varatok took the knife away from Jim’s throat and lunged at Spock. Jim screamed. No! Don’t hurt him! Spock twisted and took the knife in the shoulder with a grunt. Varatok sprawled on top of him. The phaser clattered across the floor.
Jim couldn’t see beyond the massive cloak. He was screaming, pleading, but couldn’t find the words in his throat. A pale hand gripped the hem of Varatok’s cloak, then dragged it underneath him. In one fluid motion, Spock flipped the giant alien on his back, then stood up, pulled the knife from his shoulder, and lodged it in Varatok’s chest.
Spock huffed once, still shaking, then grabbed his phaser. With two shots, the chains around Jim’s wrists were broken and he slumped into Spock’s arms, shuddering with pain.
“Jim.” Spock sounded small and broken.
“Guess I… passed the… test,” Jim coughed. He felt so cold. Spock nodded, lips pursed in worry. “I’m sorry…” his vision was dark around the edges. All he could see was Spock’s face, creased with pain and worry. There were distant footsteps, then Sulu was gently removing the chains from his feet, and Bones was cussing while waving his tricorder over Jim’s broken form.
Spock’s hands were shaking as he cradled Jim close to his chest. “He will never hurt you again, ashayam. You are strong-” his voice broke and Jim grasped his hand with great effort.
“Not… gonna… make it… the poison…”
“No! No, Jim, you will survive, you must, please-”
Jim squeezed Spock’s hand. “Love you…”
Jim couldn’t hear Spock’s cries over the pounding in his ears. The last thing he felt was a single tear from his beloved hit his cheek.
Then everything was black.
Jim Kirk woke up not in chains, but under a warm blanket.
His eyes flew open when he took the first deep breath he’d been able to take since the ‘test’ began. The sterile scent of sickbay filled his nostrils. His body felt numb and stiff. He looked beneath the blanket to see that his chest and back were wrapped in bandages, and both legs were in stiff casts. Well that explains why I can’t move, Jim thought.
He felt a gentle presence in his mind that filled him with relief. Spock was sleeping in a chair next to the biobed. Jim gazed at his unmoving face, still lined with worry. Spock’s uniform was stained with Jim’s blood, and one of the sleeves had been ripped off so the knife wound in his shoulder could be bandaged. Both of his hands were wrapped in bandages. Jim squeezed the hand gently holding his.
Spock blinked, then met Jim’s gaze. His eyes shined and he smiled slightly. “Jim…” he whispered.
“Hi, love,” Jim said. “How are you?”
Spock opened and closed his mouth, then leaned over to press a kiss to Jim’s forehead instead of answering. He sat back and stroked Jim’s cheek ever so gently.
“I love you,” he said suddenly.
“You- I love you too, Spock, are you alright?”
Spock looked down. “I thought- I was afraid I might not get to tell you again.” Jim frowned. He knew how Spock felt, but didn’t like causing him distress.
“I’m here,” Jim rubbed circles into Spock’s hand, “I’m here, and you’re here, and- you haven’t even changed your uniform, Spock. How long have I been out?”
“Two days, eight hours, and some number of minutes. I fell asleep,” Spock said sheepishly.
“Two days! You’ve been here all this time?”
“It took nearly the entire first forty-eight hours to find an antidote for the poison. You’ve been on life support… it’s a miracle you…”
“I always said you made me believe in miracles,” Jim smiled. “I’m sorry to worry you… I didn’t think I would make it either.”
“You can thank Sulu for taking some of the poison in the vessel to analyze. Dr. McCoy eventually found an antidote, I wanted to assist him in the labs, but he insisted that I get my own injuries treated first.”
Jim chuckled. “He’s right, you know. I’m sorry you got hurt protecting me. I’m sorry you had to watch all of that.”
“There is no need to apologize, ashayam. I will always choose to be by your side.”
“I- thank you, Spock. I feel the same way, although you did surprise me down there.”
Spock’s face darkened. “I got… carried away. I regret killing the alien, my actions caused several members of the security team to be injured or killed on our way out of the city.”
“I would have done the same. Or worse- god, when he pounced on you… it was worse than the torture. I don’t ever want you to get hurt defending me.”
“That is my decision,” Spock said sternly. “You are my bondmate, and I would gladly-”
“I know, I know, I would too. Say, did you find out why the bond went away? I’m very glad it’s back, I’ll have you know.”
Spock frowned, then pursed his lips. “A side effect of the poison. Fortunately, it went away with the antidote, but…”
Jim felt a twinge of guilt when he understood what Spock was getting at. “You mean you couldn’t feel me these past two days?” Spock nodded, trying to control the emotion on his face.
“I thought…” Spock spoke so softly Jim could barely hear. “I thought I’d never feel you again.”
Jim exhaled quietly. “That prospect scared me more than dying,” he whispered. “I never want to leave you, Spock, I’m so sorry…”
Cease your apologies, came a clear thought from Spock’s mind. Spock shut him up by kissing him hard on the mouth, and it felt more life-giving than those first breaths of air.
I love you, Jim whispered the words into Spock’s mouth as well as thinking them.
And I as well, t’hy’la.
“Oh good, yer both up and all ya can do is make out,” a familiar voice said. Spock stood up abruptly, and Jim laughed as he straightened himself out like a schoolboy caught launching spitballs.
“Dr. McCoy, I’m sure you will be pleased to know your antidote has worked.”
Bones nodded and smiled, then leaned over Jim and checked his bandages. “Those bastards really did a number on ya, Jim.”
Jim groaned in fake protest as Bones released several hypos into his arm. “When can I go?” he asked.
“Oh, yer certainly gonna be off yer feet for a while, but I suppose ya can sleep in yer quarters tonight. I trust Spock to take care of ya, he hasn’t left your side since ya got here.” Bones slapped Spock’s uninjured shoulder playfully, then left to get a stretcher.
As Spock wheeled Jim to their shared quarters, gazing down at him affectionately, he said, “I hope you know that you are an excellent leader, Jim.”
“Well, I’ve certainly proven myself, haven’t I,” Jim joked, “even if I did pass out in the end.”
“That brutal test was not what really measures a leader.” Jim rolled his eyes but smiled, preparing for a Spock speech as they entered their quarters. But to his surprise, Spock continued, “the true measure of a leader is if he is loved by those who he leads.”
Spock smirked and lifted Jim bridal style, carrying him to their bed. When he laid him down he kissed him and said, “You, Captain, are adored by your first officer, albeit in a different way than the rest of your crew.”
Jim grinned. “I’m the luckiest captain in the fleet. Now, babe, you better change before you get in here!” Spock chuckled softly as he traded his dirty uniform for sleeping robes.
Spock settled in next to him, wrapping his arms around him but careful to not disturb any of the bandaged areas. “You know, I once did not believe in luck,” he whispered. Jim smiled, pleased that Spock remembered the conversation as well as he did. “But you make me feel lucky, my miracle.”
Jim felt lucky indeed as he drifted off into a warm, peaceful sleep.