Work Text:
Wooyoung doesn’t mind the fact that when people discover ATEEZ for the first time, most of them think San is ATEEZ’s main dancer when it should be him and Yunho, because 1) he cannot be more proud of how hard San has worked to improve himself, 2) they all have different charms and 3) everyone in ATEEZ is just multi talented like that. But as the only member without important side projects other than group activities these days, sometimes the not-so-positive thoughts do creep into you— even for someone like Wooyoung.
And even with the start of Kingdom, where they hope to gain more recognition and exposure in their home country, Wooyoung notices how little attention and praise he receives for his performance in comparison with his members. Maybe he’s in denial of his insecurity and dropping confidence, but Wooyoung doesn’t really feel comfortable talking about it just yet.
When the company announced that Wooyoung will represent ATEEZ in an upcoming Kingdom collaboration stage where one person from all 6 teams come together, Wooyoung was shock at first and soon became more determined than ever, thinking this is can be a new start and his opportunity to prove his contribution to the group.
That is until one night, he came across the less-than-pleasant comments on Twitter regarding the collaboration rumor.
———————-
They are in the practice room together, all 6 gather for the final practice session before recording day. When Wooyoung arrives as the practice room, he has a blank face on but he makes sure to greet other idols properly as if nothing happened.
Their choreographer hasn’t showed up yet, so they all take spots at corners or in front of the mirror to warm up
“Hyung did you sleep well?” Felix asks, stretching his legs near Wooyoung.
“I tried to sleep as much as I could,” Wooyoung answers with a small smile and immediately goes back to his own space.
Felix finds it a bit surprising that ATEEZ’s social butterfly and his Changbin hyung’s best buddy doesn’t continue with the normal chitchat, but everyone can have a bad day so the younger boy shrugs it off and doesn’t push it.
———————-
The choreographer sighed and turned off the music. The room is suddenly silent other than heavy panting from every idol.
“Wooyoung sshi, I’m good friend with several guys in BBTrippin so I know how good you are. But this is getting difficult for me to put the words nicely, you know what I mean?”
“I’m sorry…”
Biting his lips hard, Wooyoung can only looks down at his feet in embarrassment. He is just not getting the dance down right today, making different mistakes at different times. Today is supposed to be the final and shorter practice to make sure everyone is aligned, but it seems like they will all be stuck in here for a while — thanks to him.
“I will let you guys take a rest and sort things out, we will resume 20 minutes later,” the choreographer then turns back to Wooyoung before leaving the practice room. “You are here to represent ATEEZ, stay focus.”
As they walk over to their belongings to get some water, Changmin walks up to Wooyoung and gives the younger a soft pat on the back.
“It’s okay, what’s passed is past. Just keep trying after some rest.”
Wooyoung quietly nods, he is trying to avoid eye contact with the guys when he sees Minhyuk’s reflection in the mirror, wincing with a hand on his lower back. Being more than 5 years older than most of the contestants and 10 years older than the 00lines, Minhyuk tries his best to keep up with the younger hoobaes but the lengthy competition program is definitely taking a toll on his body.
“Hyung what's wrong?”
Felix’s shocking voice has everyone’s attention and now all eyes are on Wooyoung, who hurriedly wipe away the tears falling freely down his cheeks.
“It.. it’s nothing,” Wooyoung answers, his voice shaky.
“You need something more convincing,” says Donghyuk. “Did something happen? I noticed there was something off about you today.”
“No hyung, I’m okay. I’ll try harder next time.”
Minhyuk, standing in front of Wooyoung, looks around the group that’s now surrounding Wooyoung, their faces full of concern and it’s clear Wooyoung isn’t his regular self. He decides to take things to his own hand, pulling Wooyoung down to sit with him on the floor and others follow.
“Coming to this program, BTOB never wants to portray ourselves as a distant senior group… I’m not your leader, but I certainly hope you are comfortable with speaking to me, especially when it’s just us now.”
Wooyoung glances at Minhyuk’s waist before shifting his gaze back to the handsome face.
“Hyung is your body hurting? I’m sorry for dragging the practice…”
“My body? Oh it’s nothing new. I've had several injuries throughout my career so I feel this almost every time now when we do more intense choreography... Wait, is that way you cried earlier?
“I…,” Wooyoung looks back down to the floor. “…I’m not sure if I belong here.”
“You mean with us? But your company chose you, that shouldn’t be a problem.”
“I don’t know why they chose me, and people on the Internet said I shouldn’t be in this lineup. I know I shouldn’t take online comments to heart but —”
“Are you feeling unsure about your position in the group?”
“I — Changmin hyung how do you —”
It’s like Changmin sees right through him. The older boy just shrugs with a knowing smile on his face.
“What does that mean?” Minhyuk frowns.
“Of course I don’t know what’s the exact situation for Wooyoungie, and I’m not sure how much does my experience resembles but I can share my story if you guys don’t mind,” says Changmin, hugging his knees.
“Ever since Road To Kingdom, our company kind of made Juyeon into the face of our group. As the other main dancer, there was a period of time when I just couldn’t help feeling unsure and not confident about myself, what is my role in the group and what should I do to help the group… I didn’t feel like I should discuss that with my teammates either, I didn’t want to put them in uncomfortable position — Juyeon included. So when I went home for the holidays I talked with my family, we share a very strong bond so that helped me to get over my insecurity quickly and refocus myself to what’s in front of me. I believe that chance is for those who are ready, our company might have given Juyeon more spotlight now, but Juyeon is always prepared whether there’s spotlight or not.”
“Did you think they were going to put Juyeon in this group instead of you?” Minhyuk asks.
“Yes, and Juyeon was actually the default choice by Mnet, but when he saw you guys’ names he was like, ‘You should add Changmin, he is a much better choice than I do.’ Maybe I also have the mentality of wanting to prove myself, just a little bit.”
Changmin turns to Wooyoung.
“So, doesn’t my experience kind of resembles with yours?”
Wooyoung finally begins talking about his feeling, about the lack of positive praise about his performance, about his portrayal on Kingdom, about the negative online comments, about how he felt like San should have taken his spot…
The room gets quiet momentarily before Donghyuk clears his throat.
“As someone who’s been through multiple survival and competition programs, here’s what I think… If you want to prove yourself to 100%, or show the world how much you’re worth within a few weeks during a couple TV show episodes, it will only keeps on draining out your energy. The broadcast editing can only show so much, more often nothing. Every single person on this show is talented and charming in his own way, in my honest opinion. So just enjoy it, stop taking those stuffs to heart, this is a party! Who knows when’s the next time we can perform together like this.”
For a while Taeyang just studies Wooyoung, they are not exactly close but from what he knows about Wooyoung, the younger boy is rarely as quiet as he is now.
“I might as well use this time to say thank you, Wooyoung ah.”
Wooyoung turns to Taeyang, his face puzzled.
"Hyung for what?"
“We were actually kind of worried coming into Kingdom. Most of the guys in my group isn’t the social type, and we sometimes give people the impression that SF9 is hard to get along with because we have this model or actor whatever vibe… But you made it easy, and not just with those same age as you. You helped to create an atmosphere that’s easy everyone to starts getting to know one another in a supposedly intense environment. I don't think it’s necessarily a bad thing that a lot of your camera time is about making friends, contribution isn't just about singing or dancing, you know. And that doesn't make you any less talented, like what Changmin said, chance is for those who’re ready.”
Being the youngest one in the room, Felix just listens quietly for the most part as the group continues to carry on with the conversation before the choreographer returns. But during the whole time, Felix has his arm linked with Wooyoung and sometimes hugging onto the older boy to give him strength.
“Yongbokie~”
The rest of the practice goes well, they are getting ready to part ways when Wooyoung calls out Felix.
“Yes hyung?”
“Um… don’t tell Changbin about what happened today, okay?” Wooyoung asks, with a slightly embarrassed smile.
“No problem, so our little secret?”
“Yes, our little secret~”
——————————
The next time Felix sees Wooyoung is when Stray Kids visit KQ Entertainment for a meeting about collaboration stage with ATEEZ. After the Kingdom staff says the filming is done, Felix goes over to give Wooyoung a tight hug.
“Hyung are you feeling okay now?”
“Oh yeah, totally”
The two whisper and beam at each other satisfied, while Changbin and San raise their eyebrows at this unlikely pair’s public display of affection.
“Hey, what were you and Wooyoungie talking about?”
“It’s a secret, I promised Wooyoung hyung.”
“WHAT?!”
“When did you become close with Felix?”
“Hmmm, are you jealous?”
“I… ”