Chapter Text
Uenoyama was lying on his bed for the past 3 hours and yet sleep won’t come to him. The ‘tick, tock, tick, tock’ of his wall clock tearing the quietness of his bedroom. The same clock that made Mafuyu remember Yuuki’s clock during that one sleepover they had before their CAC live performance.
He closed his eyes and shielded them with his right forearm as the memories of the SYH live show two nights ago came flooding back to him. He let out a long sigh and murmured to himself, “I must have really fucked up this time, huh.” A pained expression marred his face, brows furrowing. His left hand went to his chest to grip his shirt over his heart as if trying to ease the pain he couldn’t really describe.
He really thought that Mafuyu would appreciate even be happy with him finishing his dead boyfriend’s song for him. He composed it exactly how Yuuki would like to have finished the song. He wrote the lyrics and sang the damn song even though it was killing him inside out. Yayoi was right all along.
“It really felt like hell.”
He released another long sigh. He hasn’t heard from Mafuyu since then. He sent a few messages on Line, but never really got a reply for two straight days. It was making him anxious and truthfully speaking, he was scared.
“Why did I ever agree to finish that damn song! Shit!” He cursed but he knew he was only to blame. He fell right into Hiiragi’s trap with his provocation. “Ahh, are we really over now?” He turned to his side and curved into a ball putting both his hands to his face.
“No, no, no, no!!! I don’t want that! I don’t…” I quiet sob escape his lips and a lone tear fell on his bed. For the first time in Uenoyama Ritsuka’s life, he cried over someone. Someone who means the world to him as the name of that said someone came out of his lips with so much grief…
“Mafuyu…” He cried and cried silently until sleep overtook his consciousness. Maybe tomorrow he will get a message from the love of his life, but for now he’ll rest his tired eyes and pained heart.
FLASHBACK to the SYH live show:
Uenoyama knew his bandmates were there. He made sure to give them the tickets. At the start of the show before the first song, he scanned the audience and just like a moth that gravitates to the fire he quickly found Mafuyu. He was with Haruki-san and Kaji-san just a little bit at the back. The venue was packed with people. No wonder SYH is getting more and more popular with their upcoming debut and all. He felt a little sting of envy.
That reminded him that Mafuyu was still not giving his answer whether he wants to debut. He was hoping that after this live, he could convince Mafuyu to finally debut. That would make him really happy.
They have 5 songs in total to perform tonight including Yuuki’s song that he finished. Uenoyama was getting more and more anxious although his guitar playing was still flawless.
He couldn’t quite put a name to the feeling that currently gnawing at him. It felt more like a premonition of sorts.
‘What the heck is this? Is there something wrong with me? Wait!? Am I scared? Scared to perform ‘that song’?’ Uenoyama’s thoughts were in shambles, but he couldn’t get careless or he might mess up his playing. That would be so uncool he thought. He silently shook his head to get rid of the negative thoughts.
Before the final song, Hiiragi said something on the mic.
“Thank you everyone for watching us tonight! The audience cheered and clapped. “This is our last song for the night and this is sort of special to us. This song was not completed by our former bandmate who we lost last year. This is like a tribute to him. Our temporary guitarist here Uenoyama finished it for us. We are really grateful to him.”
Some murmurs were heard from the audience. Hiiragi swept his eyes towards Mafuyu who was frowning at him with unreadable expression on his face.
“So, uhm Uenoyama will take over from here. I hope you guys enjoy this song. It’s called ‘Soulmate’.”
Uenoyama walked over to the mic without looking to the audience. His head was down and his hands were shaking uncontrollably. Hiiragi gave him a brief pat on the shoulder and whispered.
“Gomen…”
The song started. Uenoyama opened his mouth and started singing. His practiced fingers plucking his Fender Telecaster with precision despite the shaking of his hands before.
“Do you know what’s a soulmate?”
I always asked this of you
You’d look at me funny and called me weird
I always answer, it’s you
You are my soulmate
I love the way you blush just like the color of your hair
And fake your annoyance with a pout
Ahhh, you color my world, you know?
Don’t you know you’re my everything?
I will do anything for you
I can’t live without you
Because you’re my soulmate
My other half”
Uenoyama swept his eyes over the crowd just before the song ended and found Mafuyu’s eyes on him. At that moment, Uenoyama Ritsuka realized that he fucked up big time and there was no turning back.
Mafuyu had that same look again as if he was about to cry all by himself. He always despised that look on his boyfriend’s face. ‘Mafuyu…Why do you have that look?’ His inner turmoil was starting to come out on the surface. He had to finish this damn song. He needs to hold Mafuyu as soon as possible. He needs to get to him. Should he jump from the stage? That will be too crazy!
The song ended. He looked around and tried to find Mafuyu again, but he was already gone.
“Where is he? What just happened?” Uenoyama whispered to no one in particular.
He could still hear the roars of cheers from the audience even murmurs of disbelief that he could actually sing. He was already at the backstage and he couldn’t remember how he managed to get there. Ah, maybe Hiiragi dragged him, but there’s only one thing on Uenoyama’s mind. He needs to find Mafuyu when he heard someone called him.
“Uecchi!” It was Haruki and he looked troubled for some reason.
A dread crept up his spine.
“Haruki-san?”
“Uenoyama hurry up! Akihiko was running after Mafuyu. He just took off suddenly and I’m worried! Also, what the heck was that song!? That’s so not like you at all!”
Uenoyama’s eyes went wide after hearing what Haruki said. He pulled his guitar off him and handed it to Haruki and took off towards the venue’s exit.
“Eh, oi Uecchi!!”
“Hold on to my guitar Haruki-san, please!” Uenoyama went after Kaji who ran after Mafuyu hoping he could catch up to them. He ran towards the direction of the nearest train station when suddenly Kaji got a hold of him, pulling his right arm. He flinched almost violently.
“Uenoyama! Hey stop!” He stopped running but still wore an expression of anguish and dread. He was out of breath and his chest and head hurts too. “It’s no use, Mafuyu already left. He got inside the train before I even reached the platform. I tried calling him but he turned his phone off.”
“Kaji-san, I think I fucked up. Mafuyu probably hates me now…” His head was hanging low, shoulders sagging as if the world hated his guts at the moment.
Kaji released a long sigh and clapped his back with his right hand.
“Ue-sama, it’s not the end of the world. Mafuyu might have been shocked, but I don’t think he hates you? Why would you even think that? Come on, let’s go back to the venue. We’ll take you home. You look worn out seriously.”
Kaji looked at him with sort of pity in his eyes.
“Go home and rest and sort it out tomorrow. Stop overthinking, okay?” Kaji gave him a once over and silently shook his head sideways.
‘Uenoyama looks so stressed out. This isn’t good at all. How are they going to bounce out of this? Ahh, so troublesome. I have more or less of an idea why Mafuyu took of like that and with that reaction just from one song.’ He thought and released another sigh under his breath while dragging Uenoyama back to the venue.
End of FLASHBACK:
Uenoyama opened his eyes groggily while turning off his phone’s alarm. It read 7 in the morning. He had a class today, but he doesn’t feel like going to school. School just started with both of him and Mafuyu starting their senior year in high school.
“Maybe, I should just call in sick today.” He murmured to himself and checked his Line app again. Still no replies from Mafuyu.
“Still nothing huh…” He sighed loudly and covered his eyes with his arm. He quickly sent a text to Itaya and Ueki informing them that he caught a cold and couldn’t make it to school today asking that he’ll borrow their notes.
At the school, Itaya and Ueki saw Mafuyu during lunch and asked him if he wanted to play basketball with them.
“Mafuyuecchi! Want to play basketball with us? Too bad Uecchi caught a cold and had to stay home. And I thought idiots don’t catch colds, hahaha!”
He laughed hysterically and didn’t notice a conflicted expression on Mafuyu’s face. Ueki on the other hand gave a knowing glance towards Mafuyu as his brows furrowed a little.
‘Hmm, did something happen between them? Why does Satou look like ‘that’? Like he’s about to cry?’ Ueki thought for a moment until he heard Itaya again.
“Oh by the way, Uecchi really shocked me with that last song! Like, what the heck! I’ve known him since middle school and the most I’ve heard of him is humming and his guitar playing. Never heard him sing like that! He’s actually mazing! He could become a famous singer or vocalist even!” Itaya sounded really impressed and excited.
Mafuyu flinched suddenly when Uenoyama’s singing was suddenly blurted out by Itaya. It didn’t escape Ueki. ‘So, something really happened…’
“Mafuyuecchi, ne ne, have you heard Uenoyama sing before? You must have since you’re in a band together, right?” Itaya looked like an excitable curious puppy.
Mufuyu just shook his head sideways. “No, I haven’t. Sorry, I need to do my homework. I can’t play basketball today. Sorry, some other time.”
“Ehhh!” Itaya grumbled loudly. Ueki pat his head instead like petting a dog.
“There, there down boy.” He looked at Mafuyu’s retreating back and convinced that something definitely happened between his two friends – Uenoyama and Satou. He was equally bothered by that last song Uenoyama performed because even though it was really amazing and breathtaking, for some reason it didn’t seem like Uenoyama at all. Everything about that song screamed an entirely different personality and musicality. It felt so wrong and that bothered Ueki so much so that it kept looping in his head that night after the concert.
He decided to text Uenoyama later after school. He might not say anything, but he must be agonizing right at this moment. 'Uenoyama might think he's being subtle, but he's quite obvious with his affections towards Satou.' He smiled slightly at the thought. 'Itaya will have a fit once he realize it.'
Ueki really hoped from the bottom of his heart that whatever's going between them will be sorted out soon. They're his friends after all.