Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chris added 18 people to The Trash Can 

Chris: wtf is the answer to number 7

Leon: no

Chris: y not

Wesker: Chris get off of your phone 

Chris: No neo from the matrix 

Wesker: .

Ada: ngl that was good 

Leon: Hi Ada!

Ada: Hello Leon 

Chris: ah damn it’s you

Ada: Ah shit it’s a clown

Leon:🤡

Claire: Facts 

Chris: I-

Chris: Damn aight I see how it is 

Jill: Ada’s right tho

Rebecca: Yeah 

Chris: Uno what ima steel your chowclat muffin later at lunc 

Jill: her what???

Leon: r/ihadastroke 

Chris: Leon literally shut up your like 12 

Leon: tf did I even do 

Chris: 🧍

Leon: Strangely makes sense 

Rebecca: TOUCH ANY OF MY FOOD I WILL SLICE YOUR HAND OFF 

Sheva: Pls do it 

Chris:  sHEVA-

Jill: HAHAHA 

Rebecca: Sheva what happened?

Sheva: MANS TRIED TO STEAL MY SLICE OF PIZZA WITH HIS FAT ASS 

Chris: YEH CUz I WAS STILL HUNGAGTSGFRFACAEX]92&&27$7]$^$/*&&8/(K8U27H26H7WJ8K28K1UJ1

Jill: Nani the absolute fresh hell 

Leon: r/SoftwareGore

Wesker: If you’re wondering what happened he got his phone taken away 

Rebecca: Ohh 

Ada: Took you long enough 

Leon: BRO SOMEONE JUST PULLED OUT A WHOLE PLATE OF SPAGHETTI FROM THEIR BACKPACK 

Claire: waht 

Private chat between Wesker and William 

Birkin: Uhm wesker?

Wesker: Yes William?

Birkin: Sir Vladimir just bursted into the office yelling ‘redfield’ at the top of his lungs 

Birkin: Do you know anything about what happened to make him do that or....

Wesker: goddamnit 

The Trash Can

Krauser: Chris what the almighty hell did you fucking do 

Leon: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Ada: LEOM STOP SCREAMING 

Leon: ok 

Marvin: ?

Ada: War flashbacks 

Marvin: Oh 

Chris: What could you POSSIBLY mean jack? 

Krauser: Yknow what i mean redfield 

Sherry: He called vladimir a capitalist

Jill: 🅱️RUH 

Wesker: CHRIS WHY 

Chris: tee hee

Joseph: hehe Chris fucked up bad 

Chris: Yee

Claire: HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAD YET MANS IS A PHSYCO 

Chris: I’ve been watching a certain anime with Leon lately...

Leon: no you DIDN’T

Chris: YES TF I DID 

Rebecca: What did he do!?

Leon: HE USED THE MOTHERFUCKING JOESTAR TECHNIQUE
Rebecca: The what!?

Sherry: NIGERUNDAYOOOOOO 

Leon: YUP EXACTLY THAT 

Jill: Wtf is that 

Chris: It’s a jojo thing 

Chris: You wouldn’t understand 

Ada: You’re correct for once, we don’t 

Chris: Shut the hell your mouth ada 

Chris: That’s why you built like the Eiffel tower 

Ada: At least I’m not built like a Boulder 

Chris: AT LEAST I GOT MEAT ON MY BONES YOU BUILT LIKE A DAMN STICK 

Ada: I MAY BE A STICK BUT WHY ARE YOU BUILT LIKE A BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BOOP BOP?

Leon: WHEEZE

Jill: BAHAHHNHNHNZHNUNWUSMZJMZJJUHWZUHMAUKZIMQSMWJZMQK

Rebecca: ADA NO-

Claire: ADA Y E S

Sheva: ada I love you 

Ada: I know 

Leon: EVEN WESKER IS LAUGHING WHAT-

Jill: SERIOUSLY!?

Leon: YES

Rebecca: PROOF OR IT DIDN’T HAPPENED

[Leon sent a photo]

Rebecca: HOLY SHITTING FUCK-

Jill: That’s so weird-

Chris: I hate everyone 

Ada: we know 

Chapter Text

The Trash Can

Chris: ETHAN GET YOUR FUCLING DOG AWYA FROM ME

Ethan: What dog?

Leon: He’s talking about Lucas

Ethan: Oh goddamnit Lucas not again!

Claire: And he is?

Chris: Ethan Winters. He just transferred here about a week ago 

Ada: Wait isn’t he the guy that went through literal hell and back for his girlfriend and sister only for her to dump him?

Chris: That’s him! 

Jill: Ohhh that guy.

Rebecca: Every time I hear about it I just feel bad for him more 

Sherry: Yeah she deserved to get hit by a semi trailer truck 

Claire: Wait what 

Chris: WHAT 

Rebecca: A SEMI TRAILER!?

Sherry: Yeah she got hit like a year ago 

Sherry: Still in the hospital today!

Leon: How do you get hit THAT hard?????

Sheva: It’s a semi trailer wdym 

Leon: U right my bad I can’t read 

Sherry: Don’t worry you’ll get used to it 

___

Ethan: Alright I got him under control 

Ethan: Again

Chris: oh thank god-

Leon: Hey Ethan wanna join us at lunch later today?

Ethan: Oh sure thank you!

Wesker: Ethan get off of your phone 

Ethan: Sorry Mr. Wesker!

Wesker: Thank you 

Wesker: See

Wesker: Look at how respectful he is 

Wesker: Why can’t y’all be like him

Chris: Cuz no and it’s funny making fun of u

Claire: Yeah

Leon: Yeah

Ada: Yeah

Jill: Yeah

Rebecca: Yeah

Joseph: Yeah

Sherry: ...Yeah

Birkin: Honestly I have to agree 

Wesker: You all are getting detention 

Chris: 𝓑𝓻𝓾𝓱

Birkin: Jokes on you I’m a teacher 

Wesker: wdym jokes on you you’re watching them 

Birkin: (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Bitch what the fuck ♥

___

Lucas: @Ethan

Lucas: @Ethan

Lucas: @Ethan

Ethan: Lucas what do you want 

Jake: I’m bored 

Ethan: And? I’m in the middle of a class 

Ethan: Aren’t you supposed to be in class too?

Jake: Skipped 

Ethan: You should stop doing that 

Jake: Could genuinely care less 

Ethan: Of course you could 

Ethan: I’m gonna sit with Leon and his friends later at lunch u wanna join? 

Jake: Yeah sure 

Ethan: Cool! Also pls don’t chew with your mouth open 

Jake: Can’t make any promises 

Ethan: haha :D

Ada: ...

Chris: GAY GAY HOMOSEXUAL GAY 

Leon: Theyr....bab..ies 

Jill: u aight?

Leon: idk at this point 

Sheva: honestly same 

Rebecca: mood 

Sherry: ARE YALL OK?

Leon: NO

___

Leon: Ethan. favorite show. Go.

Ethan: Peaky Blinders 

Chris: Peaky what?

Ethan: Peaky Blinders! It’s this amazing show on Netflix about a British gang in 1919 and the early 1920’s.

Jill: Ah I see a man of culture 

Ethan: You also watch Peaky Blinders?

Jill: No but it does sound interesting 

Sheva: Chris if you touch any of my food I will delete your lungs 

Chris: ...

Chris: So you’re telling me you won’t give me your tater tots?

Sheva: Hell yeah I won’t 

Leon: Ethan ever since Lucas sat next to you my gaydar been going off 

Leon: U gæ?

Ethan: Does Non-binary count?

Leon: EVEN BETTER 

Ethan: But yeah Im also the gæ

Ethan: But me and lucas are just friends 

Ada: pffuegvetgywbtvwtbywnumsjmrjm

Jill: 🧢

Sherry: ...huh 

Chris: Haha ada had a aneurism 

Ada: shutupboulder

Chris: eiffeltower

Wesker: Children-

Chapter Text

The Trash Can 

Wesker: if you guys don’t mind I need help with something 

Ethan: I can help!

Wesker: I...wanna ask birkin out...

Chris: ETHAN SOUNDS LIKE I SQUEALING PIG WHAT DID YOU DO TO THEM 

Jill: Wait wHAT 

Ada: huh

Leon: AYO

Sherry: FINALLY WE GOT GAY PEOPLE IN HERE 

Claire: SHERRYJIFJUJFJMJDBXGNSYWNAJU

Sherry: WHAT? THE CHAT WAS TOO DRY WE NEEDED SOME JUICE 

Ethan: okokokokokokokok

Ethan: I have calmed down a bit 

Joseph: Hehe wesker is gay

Leon: Ok and?? Is there a problem??

Sherry: it’s spelled gæ 

Ethan: Calm down! He’s just joking!

Ethan: Back to the topic 

Ethan: Have you thought of any way to tell him before coming to us?

Wesker: I thought of making a love potion but all the test I made either made the subject’s go to a dangerous feral point where I had to kill them or it would get very VERY into mating with whatever it get it’s hands on.

Wesker: Sometimes it would mutate into some weird disgusting monster 

Wesker: I kept one tho 

Wesker: Named it uroboros 

Wesker: it’s in my fridge contaminated so don’t worry about it 

Ada: .

Chris: Delicious 🤩

Ethan: I’m traumatized 😀

Leon: chris please no 

Sheva: The fact that you kept one and named it-

Jill: In conclusion stay tf away from potion making 

Wesker: Gladly 

Sherry: How about a simple card telling him to meet you somewhere and then telling him how much you like him and ask him out on a date?

Wesker: Yknow that’s not a bad idea

Wesker: I’ll try it out tomorrow 

Wesker: Thank you for your help 

Ethan: No problem!

Sherry: Your welcome!

Wesker: Good night 

Chris: Wait wesker! Can i help you with the letter?

Wesker: no

Chris: 𝔸𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕕𝕒𝕤 𝕔𝕠𝕠𝕝

The note: 

“Hello Dr. Birkin. I hope you are doing well. I wanted to talk to you about something... important in private. Meet me in the teacher’s lounge at 6pm since that’s when most people are going home. I’ll see you there”

Sincerely, Albert Wesker

At the teachers lounge 

Birkin: Alright Wesker, What’s the meaning of this?

Wesker: ...

Birkin: ... well?

Wesker: I...

Birkin: Speak up wesker 

Wesker: I... love you 

Birkin: Wh-

Chris: HE SAID HE LOVES YOU BITCH!!11!

Wesker: C H R I S F U C K I N G R E D F I E L D

Chris: oop gotta blast-

Chris: 🏃💨

Birkin: is that true?

Wesker: Y-yeah...

Birkin: I love you too

Wesker: You do...?

Birkin: Yeah! Ever since I got hired and you introduced yourself to me 

Wesker: ...

Birkin: How about we go to that new restaurant that just opened up for our first date?

Wesker: Yeah..that sounds nice 

Birkin: Saturday 6pm?

Wesker: Yeah

Birkin: I’ll see you there 

Wesker: I’ll see you too...

Chris: YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH WESKERRRRRR

Leon: MANS NOT SINGLE NO MO

Ethan: CONGRATULATIONS MR.WESKER!

Sherry: GAY PEOPLE ARE AT IT AGAIN 

Leon: SHERRY-

Wesker: ...

Wesker: I love these kids...

Chapter Text

The Trash Can

Chris: I’m bORED 

Claire: Ok and? It’s Friday you can do anything you want 

Chris: There’s nothing to dOoOoOo

Sherry: Isn’t it about to be spring break?

Sherry: We should have a sleepover!

Chris: Where? Me and Claire’s house is too small 

Ethan: We can go to Lady Dimitrescu’s mansion

Sherry: Lady who?

Leon: The vice principal??

Ada: You have THAT type of access to her???!

Ethan: Yeah? What’s so weird about it?

Chris: BITCH THATS ALCINA DIMITRESCU YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT 

Jill: SHE IS LITERALLY ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE IN THE STATE 

Ada: SHE’S MORE SCARY THAN WESKER WHEN HE’S MAD

Leon: SHE SNAPPED ALL OF SOMEONES FINGERS AND BUSTED THEIR TEETH BECAUSE THEY TRIED TO STEAL HER PURSE 

Jill: How’d you even get that close to her?

Ethan: I helped her with stuff around the house 

Chris: You fucked her huh?

Ethan: NO 

Ethan: She tried to fuck me but I was like “ma’am I’m a high schooler just trying to get money pls leave me alone”

Ethan: SHE STILL TRIES IT 

Chris: If you don’t tap that I will

Sheva: Go to horny jail

Chris: NOOOO I JUST GOT OUT 

Sheva: GO BACK 

Leon: Anyways, you gonna ask her or not Ethan?

Ethan: Oh right!

Lady Dimitrescu 

Ethan: Uhm... Lady Dimitrescu?

LadyD.: Yes dear?

Ethan: Is it ok if me and a couple of my friends have a sleepover at your house tonight?

LadyD.: Of course! How long will you be staying?

Ethan: Until Sunday afternoon 

LadyD.: Ethan, you do know it’s about to be spring break right?

LadyD.: Just stay the entire week 

Ethan: I know I just don’t wanna bother you too much 

LadyD.: It’s ok I don’t mind at all you can stay the entire week

Ethan: Ok...thank you Lady Dimitrescu!

LadyD.: Your welcome~

Ethan: We can go 

Jill: yes!

Ethan: We can also stay there the entire week since it’s spring break 

Chris: B E T

Sheva: HORNY HAMMER 🔨

Chris: NOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAA-

Lucas: What? What’s happening?

Sherry: We’re having a sleepover at lady dildimeusmumwu,us house 

Lucas: Oh lady milk jugs?

Jill: PFFFFF-

Ada: NO-

Chris: milk jugs? 👀

Sheva: 🏃♀️ CMERE HORNY MAN

Chris: 🧑🦽💨 YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE 

Leon: WHY A WHEELCHAIR-

Sherry: Lucas you wanna come with us?

Lucas: Yeah sure

Wesker: I need an outlet 

Leon: Lady didumuxmumensysizkuwm house sleepover 

Wesker: I’m in

At Lady Dimitrescu‘s mansion 

Chris: Ethan this ain’t a mansion this is a fucking castle 

Ethan: I know 

Jill: ????

Leon: Is this the right place?

Sherry: Yeah 

Ada: oh wtf-

Jill: DAMN that bitch is HUGE-

Sheva: Whoa...

Lucas: Got damn

LadyD.: Welcome to my humble abode children!

Chris: oH SHiT

Ada: She’s even cooler in person....

Ethan: Hi Alcina!

LadyD.: Oh Ethan! How are you doing today?

Ada: DID THEY JUST-

Leon: yeah 

Lucas: Mans really hugged her without hesitation 

Sherry: WHY IS SHE SO DAMN TALL OMG

LadyD: Ok everyone! You can bring your bags in here! Sorry for the wait!

Chris: Ok 

Claire: Y’all it’s starting to rain 

Lucas: FUCKING DIP

Wesker: Damn I didn’t bring a umbrella...

Leon: Yeah I think none of us did 

Rebecca: I did!

Wesker: Smart 

Jake: Where’s my dad

Lucas: Who even are you?

Jake: Someone now where is my father 

Wesker: Jake how the hell did you even get into this chat!?

Jake: I have my ways 

Jake: Anyways, Dad, I don’t think Flint is okay can I take him to a vet?

Wesker: Yes you can

Wesker: Update me once the vet is done 

Jake: will do thanks dad

Wesker: Your welcome 

Chris: you have a son??¿?

Leon: dog?¿

Ethan: I’m still stuck on the ‘dad’ part-

Ada: Yeah me too 

Sheva: Same

Chris: F L I N T L O C K W O O D

Leon: I FORGOT ABOUT THAT MEME 

Claire: I WAS THINKING OF THE SAME THING 

Rebecca: Hope your dog is okay :(

Wesker: Me too thank you 

LadyD.: Alright! Everything in the living room is set up. You can place your bags right over there!

Ethan: Ok thank you!

LadyD.: You are welcome dear~

Chris: ...

Chris: ay yo ethan-

Sheva: don’t make me get the hammer

Chapter Text

The Trash Can 

Chris: Did y’all see the new girl?

Jill: Another person transferred here? 

Chris: Yeah her name is Ashley Graham.

Leon: OH THAT LITTLE SHIT

Chris: What’s wrong with her?

Leon: One time I had to watch her when she was little. She wanted to do whatever she wanted but I said no. But that LITTLE FUCKING PEICE OF HUMAN AND DOG COW HORSE SHIT decided no and threatened to tell her dad

Leon: Every time I baby sat her she would do that 

Rebecca: Is her dad a drug dealer?

Leon: Nope

Leon: He’s the president of the United States 

Chris: HUH???????????¿¿????¿????¿¿¿)&]*”/*’

Jill: CAP 🧢🧢🧢

Leon: ❌❌❌

Leon: How did I get to babysit her you may be asking? Still trying to figure that out today 

Leon: She is SOOOO Annoying like holy shit-

Wesker: On a scale of 1 to 10 Leon, how much do you hate her?

Leon: If someone put me in a room with hitler, Stalin and Ashley and gave me a gun with 2 bullets I’d shoot her twice, reload it, then shoot again 

Jill: WHEEZE-

Chris: You hate her THAT much?

Leon: FUCKING HELL YEAH I DO

Sherry: imma ask her for some money I’m broke af

Ada: oop can’t relate- 

Sheva: Same man I want some actual fookin food 

Rebecca: You don’t get food at home?

Sheva: Oh no I do I’m just kinda picky 

Chris: Picky af-

Sheva: Hey does anyone have a hammer by chance?

Wesker: I do

Sheva: lemme borrow it

Chris: FUCKIMG N O

Leon: Ok people wtf are we gonna do I’m bored af 

Sherry: Truth or dare?

Ethan: Sure

Ada: yes

Leon: HELL NAH ADA GOT TOO MUCH DIRT ON US

Ada: D

            )

        D

Rebecca: Yeah you do 

Jill: How is my question 

Ada: Ways 

Jill: Teach me them

Ada: no

Sherry: Anyways we playing or not?

Jill: Y e s

Leon: N o

Sherry: Alright! Sheva go first

Leon: Chris bro we gonna die

Chris: yeah bro it was not nice knowing you 😔😭😭

Leon: honestly fuck you

Chris: You want to fuck me so bad it’s hilarious 

Leon: What?

Ethan: Ey y’all I got snacks:D

Chris: BET 

Ethan: Not for you Chris you’re too horny 

Chris: AHHH >:(

Leon: Why did you scream-

Ethan: OK OK OK OK OK OK EVERYONE CALM DOWN CALM THE HELL DOWN 

Ethan: TAKE A BREATHER 

Sherry: I CANT BREATHE-

Jill: MY LuNGS 

Leon: 🅱️RUH HE IS R U N N I N G AFTER CHRIS HOLY SHIT

Chris: HELP ME MAN DONT JUST SIT THERE AND LAUGH IM GONNA DIE 

Wesker: STOP RUNNING CHRIS I JUST WANNA SLAP YOU WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER Y’KNOW JUST A SMALL TAP

Chris: HELL NAH BITCH GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME MAN IT WAS A DARE

Wesker: OK AND? BITCH I NEED SLEEP

Rebecca: YOU DON’T EVEN SLEEP

Jill: YOU DON’T EVEN SLEEP

Ada: YOU DON’T EVEN SLEEP

Leon: YOU DON’T EVEN SLEEP

Chris: YOU DON’T EVEN SLEEP

Sheva: YOU DON’T EVEN SLEEP

Jake: dad you don’t sleep like at all stop the lies

Wesker: shut up jake 

Jake: How are you even still alive?

Wesker: go away 

Jake: No I like these people 

Sherry: Aww thanks!

Chris: WELCOME TO HELL 

Chris: AHHH+*&{:94&8&9{&9”9”9&9/&9&/9&/9@/9,9”9e,izki,i,ziw,iddkiekd8ekd39kolsim8m8smzuwjs8ems8ki,im8xmw8jxe8ksw9l9w,s9.Liz,

Leon: R/SoftwareGore

Jill: MANS IS DEAD

Ada: I DON’T WANNA BE A PART OF A MURDER SCENE UNMURDER HIM

Sherry: UNMURDER?

Wesker: Can’t 

Ada: WHY?

Wesker: Killed him too hard

Ada: 𝓓𝓪𝓶𝓷 𝓰𝓾𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝓘’𝓶 𝓰𝓸𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓸 𝓳𝓪𝓲𝓵

Sheva: WE ALL GOING TO JAIL TF 

Leon: I’m GoInG tO jAiL

LadyD.: ...do I wanna know?

Ethan: not really 

LadyD.: thank goodness

Claire: Yo wtf just happened 

Ethan: Chris hit wesker with a sheet pan

Sherry: HARD

Claire: ...

Claire: do it again 

Jill: He can’t he 💀

Claire: I’m not paying for his funeral bitch better un-die 

Chris: Damn y’all don’t care about me 

Claire: No we care it’s just that shit is expensive 

Chris: 🍬 ⋆ 🍇  🎀  𝐻𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓉 𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓃 𝒷𝓇💮𝓀𝑒 𝓈☯ 𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒𝓈 𝐼 𝒹🍪𝓃’𝓉 𝓀𝓃❤𝓌 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓉😍 𝒷𝑒𝓁𝒾𝑒𝓋𝑒  🎀  🍇 ⋆ 🍬

Claire: Fuck this you getting thrown into the lake 

Chris: 🌌:  🎀  𝑀𝒶𝓂𝒶 𝓈𝒶𝒾𝒹 𝒾𝓉’𝓈 𝓂𝓎 𝒻𝒶𝓊𝓁𝓉 𝒾𝓉’𝓈 𝓂𝓎 𝒻𝒶𝓊𝓁𝓉 𝐼 𝓌💞𝓇𝑒 𝓂𝓎 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓉 ❤𝓃 𝓂𝓎 𝓈𝓁𝑒𝑒𝓋𝑒  🎀  :🌌

Leon: Just leave him 

in the morning in the kitchen 

Ethan: Good morning alcina 

Karl: I’m not Alcina 

Ethan: Oh! You scared me. Good morning Mr. Heisenburg!

Karl: Yeah yeah, morning to ya too 

Karl: Mind making me a cup of coffee?

Ethan: Not at all!

Karl: Black. No cream or sugar 

Ethan: How do you drink that? Just sounds like it tastes like the word bitter 

Karl: Heh... trust me you’ll get used after a cup or two 

Ethan: Mhm...

Karl: Say Ethan... wanna go into my workshop after you’re done and learn something new?

Ethan: Uhh... Yeah ok...

Sherry: 😳

Karl: And this baby right here... is my wooden dragon I made last week! Fancy huh?

Ethan: Wow... that’s amazing Mr. Heisenburg!

Karl: Just call me Karl, kid 

Ethan: Oh ok sorry

Karl: It’s alright son. Go back upstairs to see if any of your friends are up so I can get started on breakfast 

Ethan: You make breakfast?

Karl: Yeah sometimes matters how I’m feeling now get on going! They might be wondering where ya went

Ethan: Hehe ok! Don’t burn the place down!

Karl: I’ll have you know I’m a 5 star chef!

Ethan: Haha! Keep telling yourself that!

Sherry: oooh breakfast-

Chris: My head hurts like hell...

Ada: damn I wonder why 

Wesker: 👀

Chris: I barley remember anything wtf 

Wesker: 👁👄👁 did I hit you that hard

Chris: Why is there a sheet pan in here-

Jill: You seriously don’t remember what happened last night?

Chris: Barely 

Rebecca: Scroll up

Chris: oH NOW ITS STARTING TO COME BACK TO ME 

Jill: There ya go 

Rebecca: Where’s Ethan?

Sherry: Went downstairs to get something to drink and make breakfast with some dude name karl 

Ada: Who’s Karl? 

Sherry: You’ll see once you go to the kitchen 

Afternoon 

Jill: What should we do today?

Ada: I say we should go shopping 

Lucas: Not to be mean but why tho?

Ada: cuz why not

Chris: Your bags are just gonna be filled with red shit ada and your closet back at home is the size of this house you don’t need more clothes 

Ada: stop exposing me

Chris: I say water balloon fight 

Ethan: Y

Chris: Because it’s getting hot and you can’t lie that would be fun

Ada: It would I will give you that but I don’t want to get wet 

Chris: then don’t join in

Ada: U right my bad 

Sherry: How about the state fair?

Leon: the state fair is today?

Sherry: Yup!

Ethan: We should go 

Ada: I agree with that 

Jill: If we go Chris I’m going to destroy you in every game in that god forbidden park

Chris: Kinky~

Ada: . 

Wesker: get out

Rebecca: So state fair?

Sherry: State fair it is!

Wesker: Alright everyone get dressed 

Chris: oW JILL GET YOUR BIG ASS FEET OFF OF MY BACK 

Jill: NOW THAT YOU SAY THAT NO I WONT 

Chris: AHHHH

Leon: It’s barely 1pm-

Wesker: Alright we’re here 

Wesker: Don’t kill anyone 

Chris: We’ll try!

Wesker: 👁_👁

Leon: I’ll make sure he stays out of trouble 

Wesker: Thank you 

Jill: LAST ONE TO THE ROLLER COASTER IS A DICK SUCKING LOSER

Sherry: SHIT 

Sheva: n y o o m

Ethan: Damn ada is FAST 

Chris: She’s a runner she a track star 

Leon: SOMEONE PUT A HOT DOG IN A PICKLE 

Claire: WHAT 

Ada: Ew 

Sherry: AW GROSS 

Leon: CHRIS YOU’LL EAT ANYTHING TRY IT

Chris: you got me fucked up if you think I’m eating that

Sheva: I’ll pay you 20 dollars 

Chris: I ain’t gay but 20$ is 20$ where is that abomination 

Chris: That actually tastes really good 

Leon: NO 

Ada: hUH!?

Jill: that’s rad

Sherry: Shut up kiryu we just witnessed something atrocious 

Rebecca: 😀

Ethan: wHY 

Chris: Sheva gave me 20$-

Ethan: GET A DAMN JOB 

Chris: NO 

Ethan: Today was really fun!

Ada: Yeah hey Jill how many games did you win against Chris?

Jill: 34

Chris: 33

Wesker: Everyone is already asleep?

Ada: Yeah everyone was really tired once we got in the car from all that yelling and screaming 

Wesker: Mmm....

Ada: ...Y’know wesker you’re kind of like a father to me 

Wesker: What did you say?

Ada: Nothing...! Keep your damn eyes on the road

Wesker: Alright then....

LadyD.: Oh they’re back! Aww they’re all sleepy 

Wesker: Yeah...

Karl: Must’ve had a fun time at the fair huh?

Wesker: One hell of a time...

Karl: Hey Wesker you alright? 

Wesker: Oh yes I’m alright 

Wesker: Let’s just get them to bed

Karl: Okay

Wesker: Does she really think....

Chapter Text

The Trash Can 

Rebecca: Y'all up for another round of truth or dare?

Leon: Yeah sure

Jill: Why not

Rebecca: Ada no spilling tea unless it's absolutely necessary

Ada: No promises

Ethan: oh god

Chris: Ok truth or dare Sheva?

Sheva: Dare

Chris: I dare you to call Excella Gionne

Sheva:  no

Jill: Wesker's ex wife?

Wesker: We never got married???

Sheva: EITHER WAY NO 

Ethan: Who's that?

Jill: A really pretty asshole

Wesker: A brat

Chris: Just MEAN in general

Chris: andshevahasacrushonher

Sheva: I have a hammer and it has your name on it

Chris: CALM DOWN JAMAL 

Leon: U gonna call her or not?

Sheva: Hell no 

Chris: I'll stop eating your food

Sheva: *Yeah

Sherry: MS. GIRL ARE U GOOD?

Sheva: NO 

Chris:  HAHAHAHA

Sheva: THATS IT YOUR GETTING THE HAMMER 

Chris: NOO IT WAS A DARE CALM YO A S S

Sheva: * Tarzan noises*

Chris: *AMERICAN FEAR*

Ethan: anyways, truth or dare Jill?

Jill: Dare

Ethan: Go to mother Miranda's house 

Jill:  why are u trying to kill me

Ethan: She's not that bad. Hopefully she won't mind

Jill: She better NOT 

Leon: Who's mother Miranda?

Ethan: Lady D.'s mom 

Leon: Ohhhh

Sherry: Ohhhh

Ada: Ohhhh

Jill: SHE MINDED

Ethan: RUN JILL RUN

Jill: IM RUNNING IM RUNTING

Sherry: WHAT IS CHASING HER

Ethan: A GOD DAMN WEREWOLF

Leon: A WHAT

Ethan: A

Ethan: GOD

Ethan: DAMN

Ethan: WEREWOLF

Sherry: THOSE EXIST!?

Ethan: NEAR MOTHER MIRANDA AND KARL'S PLACE YEAH THEY EXIST

Ada: FUVJING HELL NO WHY 

Ethan: I WISH I KNEW 

Rebecca: Jesus Christ

Sherry: CANT PICK UP THE PHONE RIGHT NOW HE'S BUSY IGNORING US 

Leon: DAMNAJSJSPWJJELSNDJE

Jill: AHHH *ps2 startup sound* 

Rebecca: BAHAHAHA

Sheva: nOOOOO

Chris: JILL GET YPUR ASS UP YOU'RE NOT DONE YET

Jill: Yeah u rite

Jill: WESKER HELP

Wesker: Where are you

Jill: NEAR THIS WEIRD CEREMONY SITE

Wesker:  Omw

Chris: Aww look at wesker being the dad he is

Rebecca: Leon, truth or dare?

Leon: Truth 

Rebecca: is it true you like Chris

Chris:  What 😃

Ada: What

Sherry: Nani

Ethan: Huh? What happened?

Ethan:  oh

Leon: Rebecca. The door. Go through it

Rebecca: Later 

Chris: Leon, mind if we talk in private?

Leon: No not at all

Ada: oop- 

Ada: Ethan, Truth or dare?

Ethan: Dare

Ada: Kiss Lucas

Ethan: Excuse my language, but no.

Sherry: Everybody just being gay today huh?

Private chat between Leon and Chris

Leon: Chris i-

Chris: Is it true?

Leon: What?

Chris: Is it true that you like me?

Leon: Yeah it is

Chris: Well I like you too 

Leon: Holy crap you do!?

Chris: YES BICTH I FJUCKING LOVE YOU

Leon: OH SCHIT

Leon: SINCE WHEN??????

Chris: SINCE THE START OF HIGH SCHOOL BRO 

Leon: M E T O O 

Chris: O H H H H H 

Leon: A A A A A A 

Leon: Should we tell them? 

Chris: Later

Leon: Fair

Sherry: that was adorable wtf

Ada: ikr 

Ethan: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Lucas: :) tf was that

Jill: WE'RE BACK AND WE SURVIVED

Chris: JILL YOU MADE IT!!!!!!1!+111!

Jill: HELL YEAH WE DID

Wesker: Please don't do that again

Jill: wasn't gonna

The Morning After

LadyD.: Good Morning Everyone!

Ethan: Good Morning Alcina!

Leon: How are you guys so energetic? Its barley 7am

LadyD.: Coffee

Leon: Makes sense

Chris: Morning everyone

Sheva: Shut up Chris

Chris: ????tf did I even do????

Sheva: -._-. 

Chris: Oh

Jill: Good morning mortals

Ada: Morning poor people

Sherry: StOp AtTaCkInG uS dAmN iT

Ada: nO

Ethan: oh god why 

Chris: I'm about to rip my fucking eyes out

Rebecca: Whoa what happened?

Chris: I SAW WESKERS A S S

Ethan: PFFFFT

Ada: creeper

Chris: IT WASN'T EVEN ON PURPOSE IT WAS ON ACCIDENT

Chris: I WAS JUST TRYING TO USE THE BATHROOM AND I DIDN'T KNOW WESKER WAS IN THERE ABOUT TO TAKE A SHOWER

Sherry: YOU DIDN'T HEAR THE WATER RUNNING?

Leon:  LOOK AT THE BOTTOM OF THE DOOR TO SEE IF THE LIGHT IS ON OR NOT

Chris: I DIDN'T LOOK AT THE TIME AND I WAS IN A RUSH I DIDN'T REALIZE HE WAS UNTIL AFTER I REALLY NEEDED TO TAKE A SHIT 

LadyD.: Do that outside you fucking nasty- 

Claire: PFFFFT

Ada: QUEEN

Chris: FOR SOME REASON ITS COLD OUT THERE 

Weaker: the bathroom is free now 

Chris: Oh THQNK FUCK-

LadyD.: Just use another bathroom???

Sherry: He doesn't know what that means

The Afternoon

Rebecca: So what are we gonna do today?

Ada: THE MALL

Ethan: The mall!

Leon: Two types of people

Chris: FINE we're going to the mall

Ada: YAAAAAAAAAA

Ethan: Yay!

Leon: TWO TYPES OF PEOPLE

Wesker: oh god

At the mall

Claire: Hey Jill wanna go to hot topic?

Jill: For some reason yes

Ada: Sherry, Sheva and Rebecca you're going with me y'all are starting to look homeless

Sheva: It's called wearing clothes

Ethan: HOLY SHIT THERE'S A WHOLE ARCADE IN HERE

Ethan: LUCAS WE'RE GOING TO THE ARCADE RIGHT TF NOW

Lucas: Holy SHIT you're fast

Chris: So Now what?

Leon: Idk. Hey wesker what do you wanna do?

Wesker: Don't know

Leon: Let's just go to the arcade with Ethan and Lucas

Leon: WHY IS WESKER SO GOOD AT THIS

Ethan: Wow wesker is really good!

Chris: IKR LIKE WAT DA FUQ

Lucas: GET EM GET EMMM!!

Wesker:  YES

Chris: NO FUCK

Leon: WHAT EVEN WAS THAT??????

Ethan: I've never seen wesker this excited

Ethan: Ngl it's kinda unnerving

Leon: Yeah it is

Lucas: WHO WANTS TO GO FOR A ROUND OF AIR HOCKEY

Wesker: GET TF OUT OF MY WAY

Chris:  MOVE IT OLD MAN

Leon:  JEZUZ

Ethan: AHHHH

Ada: So how was your day boys?

Wesker: Fun as hell

Chris: ATROCIOUS

Jill: What happened?

Chris: THIS OLD MAN BEAT ME IN FUCKING DANCE DANCE REVALUATION

Wesker: WHICH WAS DESERVED

Chris: NO IT WASN'T YOU COMMUNIST

Claire: WAHT

Ada:  DANCE DANCE REVALUATION?????

Ethan: YES MAN IT WAS WEIRD AND TERRIFYING

Sherry: After what happened earlier today yeah it was coming for you

Sheva: Yeah

Claire: Yeah

Rebecca: Sorry but she's right

Chris:  I see how it is

Chris: HEART BEEN-

Wesker: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Leon: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Sherry: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Sheva: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Jill: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Claire: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Ethan: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Lucas: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Rebecca: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Birkin: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Jake: SHUT THE FUCK UP

LadyD.: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Karl: SHUT THE FUCK UP

On their way back

Ethan: Today was fun!

Chris: No it wasn't

Wesker: Chris, Just because I beat you in DDR doesn't mean you have to be mad the rest of the day

Chris:  shut up wesker

Claire: Chris just suck it up and try to beat him in something else

Chris: Oh yeah... Oh yeah!

Leon: oh fuck you gave him ideas

Claire:  Guess we'll die

Sherry: IM EVACUATING 

Leon: WDYM WE????

Claire: U GOT ME FUCKED UP IF YOU THINK IM DYING BY MYSELF

Leon: YOU GOT US FUCKED UP IF YOU THINK WE DYING IN GENERAL

Claire: WE DYING TOGETHER AS A TEAM

Leon: NO YOU COMMUNIST

Wesker:  honestlybeingadadisthebestjobever

Chapter Text

The Trash Can

Chris: I PROPOSE A FIGHT

Leon: With who?

Chris:  ALBERT WESKER

Wesker: no

Ada: Oh ffs

Rebecca: Chris just drop it!

Chris: NOT UNTIL I BEAT HIS OLD ASS IN SOMETHING

Wesker: I'm not even THAT old I'm literally in my 30s

Chris: YOUR STILL OLD 

Sherry: Claire this is your fault

Claire: stfu

Karl: I wanna see this!

LadyD.: HOLD UP LEMME GET THE GOOD WINE

Ada: May I have some? 👉👈 

LadyD.: Sure 

LadyD.: Yes rat I will get your crusty dusty burnt water you call whiskey

Karl: Thank y- wait burnt water?

LadyD.: YOU HEARD ME 

Leon: LAJAKAKSJDLSMWKWNDIDM CRUSTY DUSTY BURNT WATER

Sherry: HAHHAAHAHJSLSJSSISNDK

Chris: WHATEVER BACK TO THE TASK AT HAND

Chris: 1V1 ME IN MARIO KART

LadyD.: Ｂｒｕｈ

Sheva: Mario kart?

Chris: YES I GOT THE SWITCH AND EVERYTHING ALL WE GOTTA DO IS JUST SET IT UP

Wesker: You really wanna beat me in something huh?

Chris: YES NOW HELP ME SET IT UP

Claire: Jfc Chris

Leon: Claire you're a communist

Claire: I'm aware

Karl: It's the fact that that's a insult

Ada: I am scared 

Sheva: me too

Ethan: Alcina pls hold me 

LadyD.: I'm right here baby

Leon: DID THIS MOTHERFUCKER JUST TAKE A SHORT CUT ON RAINBOW ROAD?????

Claire: mom come pick me up I'm scared

Chris: HOW TF DID YOU DO THAT

Wesker:  skillz

Lucas: No

Karl: what in tarnation

LadyD.: i- 

Chris: I'm gonna get first place I'm gONNA GET FIRST PLAMC

Wesker:  Blue shell

Leon: OHHHHH

Sherry: AAAAAA

Claire: PFFFTBAHAJAKAKSJSOAKOAAKOAOAAAA

Ada: WOW 

Ethan: AND AT THE END OF THE EXTREMELY CLOSE RACE MR. ALBERT WESKER IS THE WINNER OF TONIGHT'S NATIONAL MARIO KART RACE! WITH CHRIS IN FIRST, AT THE LAST SECOND MR. WESKER THREW A BLUE SHELL RIGHT OUT AND WENT BANG! RIGHT ONTO CHRIS'S KART! AND CHRIS LOST IN THIRD. NOW LETS CUT TO MR. WESKER. SIR, HOW DOES IT FEEL TO WIN AGAINST CHRIS REDFIELD?

Wesker: Feels good Ethan, Feels hella good

Ethan: AND THERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS! NOW HAVE A NIGHT AND GO THE FUCK TO BED

Chris:  im about to k word myself

Leon: Don't do that

Chris: Shut the fuck up 

Ethan:  here we are back at it again folks, with the revenge tournament, it's Chris redfield vs Albert Wesker. This time they're playing jenga, the ultimate balance game. Let's see who takes the crown and who its shit right off the bathroom floor. And yes I know you're still awake you sly dog!

Ethan:  it is just pure silence as the two take brick after brick.

Ethan:  and wesker SNATCHES a whole brick. The tower doesn't even move an inch! What a technique! 

Ada: Ethan shut up

Ethan:  aight 

Ethan: And Wesker wins once again! The whole tower fell on Chris redfield face what the absolute fuck Chris is this bullshit?

Chris: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Ethan: What a sentence

Rebecca: it is 4am you guys are still going at this?

Chris: yes

Wesker: unfortunately

Ethan: sadlg

Rebecca: Is he ok?

Lucas: He's been narrating the entire 'tournament' for 4 hours straight

Lucas: He's on his last straw

Claire: Ethan, give us a update

Ethan: They're playing street fighter and someone's winning someone's not blah blahkapasjosnssowkajsmoasjs

Rebecca: O_o

Lucas: Fell asleep on the keyboard

Rebecca: Oh 

Chris: FINALLY 

Wesker: oh thank god 

Ethan: THE TOURNAMENT HAS A OFFICIALLY ENDED WITH CHRIS REDFIELD BEING THE WINNER AFTER 4 STRAIGHT FUCKING HOURS NOW YOU CAN GOT TO SLEEP

Lucas: And he passed out again

Chapter Text

The Trash Can

Chris: I JUST FOUND THREE GIRLS IN THE BASEMENT DOING A SATANIC RITUAL 

Ethan: oH SHIT ITS MY BESTIES HOLD ON I GOTTA AMBUSH THEM BRB 

Jill: What 

Ada: They must be BESTIES if Ethan just screamed 'BITCHES IN THE BASEMENT' and they're still alive 

Leon: Why did I just here 4 screams from the basement

Chris: Its the bitches in the basement 

Sherry: And Ethan 

Ethan: CAN I INVITE THEM TO TBE CHAT??¿

Chris: Sure 

Ethan added Cassandra, Barbecue sauce, and Daniela to The Trash Can

Barbecue sauce: EYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Cassandra: EYYYYYYYYYYY

Daniela: EYYYYYYYYYY

Ethan: AYYYYYYYYYYY

Barbecue sauce: BESTIE WHERE WERE YOU ITS BEEN FOREVER

Ethan: SCHOOL AND BEING BUSY WTH SHIT I TOLD YALL 

Chris:  this was a mistake

Sherry: Why is your name barbecue sauce?

Daniela: Because she likes to drink barbecue sauce evERY TIME WE GET IT 

Barbecue sauce: ITS GOOD 

Cassandra: NO 

Ethan: ANYWAYS what y'all been up to?

Cassandra: Witchcraft and shit 

Daniela: We went to McDonald's at 3am 

Barbecue sauce: D A N I E L A

Ethan: :'O

Cassandra: WE WASN'T SUPPOSED TELL THEM ABOUT THAT

Ethan: y'all went to McDonald's

Ethan: at 3am

Ethan:  without me?

Barbecue sauce: WE DIDN'T KNOW YOUR ADDRESS AT THE TIME 

Cassandra: AND YOU SAID YOU WAS BUSY SO WE DIDN'T BOTHER YOU

Ada: it's the fact that They sounds so sad about not getting McDonald's at 3am

Leon: I would be too tf 

Daniela: WE CAN GO GET SLUSHIES

Ethan: ok 

Cassandra: AIGHT C'MON I GOT THE CAR ALL GASSED UP 

Chris: I want a slushie

Sheva: Too bad

Chris: :(((

Karl: Where did the girls go?

LadyD.: They're not in the basement?

Karl: Nah

LadyD.: I'll be back 

Chris: ARE THEY NOT SUPPOSED TO BE OUT OF THE BASEMENT?

Karl: I THINK SO @Cassandra GET YOUR SLUSHIES AND RUN 

LadyD.: No I'm just getting them sunscreen

LadyD.: we are very sensitive to the sun so we put on a ton of sunscreen on whenever we go outside 

Cassandra: You could've just texted me mother 

LadyD.: I know I just wanted to see my baby 

Ethan: Aww

Sherry: can't relate

Karl: somebody stole my hammer and now I'm mad >:(

Daniela: tee hee 

Karl: TEE HEE MY ASS GIVE ME BACK MY HAMMER

Daniela: NO YOU ALMOST BROKE MY HAND WITH IT 

Ethan: What happened?

Cassandra: Daniela give the old man his hammer back

Daniela: THIS INCOGNITO MODE LOOKIN MOTHERFUCKER ALMOST BROKE MY HAND AND GAVE ME A CONCUSSION

Barbecue sauce: I remember that 

Barbecue sauce: that was funny

Karl: EY WHO YOU CALLIN INCOGNITO MODE YOU LOOK LIKE IF THE MONA LISA WAS A CULT LEADER

Daniela: YOU BUILT LIKE BILL GATES 

Karl: YOU BUILT LIKE DRACULA WIT YO AH A H A H SOUNDING LAUGH

Daniela: YOU LOOK LIKE SOMEBODYS DAD

Sherry: Should I?

Leon: No I wanna see where this goes

Karl: YOU BUILT LIKE A CASHEW

Daniela: YOU LOOK LIKE BURNT BUTTER

Karl: YOU.... damn I got nothing 

Daniela:  H A

Ada: fucking finally its movie night get you snacks, blankets and pillows cause wE WATCHING ALL THREE OF THE CONJURING MOVIES 

Daniela: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Ethan: NOOOOOOOO

Ethan: That surprisingly wasn't that bad

Karl: Are you sure about that koala?

Ethan:  shut 

Chapter Text

 The Trash Can

Wesker: meet my sis Alex

Alex: WUS GOOD

Chris: WESKER YOU HAVE A FAMILY?

Wesker: Shut up you dumbass boulder puncher

Chris: You promised to never bring that up-

Jill: Wesker got a whole family we didn't even know about

Sherry: You gonna explain the lore or nah?

Wesker: Jesus Christ fine

Wesker: after my mom died my dad also known as the creator of the school and the founder of umbrella Oswell E. Spencer Decided to adopt 11 children (only me and Alex are related) and live in a pretty big house kind of like this one

Leon: 11!?

Alex: Yes it was packed af but it was fun 

Sheva: Wait oswell is your father?

Wesker: Sadly

Alex: He's so old where if he tries to move all you hear is cronchy bones 

Ada: eww

Jill: Mmm cronchy bones

Rebecca: God no 

Wesker: Remember that one time you got in trouble for leaving the empty milk jug in the fridge and he chased you all around the house 

Alex: yeah he was waving his slipper around while saying 'GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE RAT' 

Wesker: And then Marco in the fucking bathroom had the audacity to say 'mr. Sandman about to beat yo ass' 

Chris: PFFFF

Sheva: WHAGASUBSSJSJSHAK

Leon:  MR. SANDMAN

Alex: MANS WAS SO CRUSTY AND DRY POPEYES BISCUITS WAS JEALOUS CAN YOU BLAME HIM 

Wesker: NO NGL AFTER I HEARD THAT I WAS DYING 

Leon: How much you wanna bet every time he runs he leaves a whole trail of dust flying

Alex:  HE DOES 

Chris: I can't- 

Claire: iM FUCKING DYING 

Wesker: I remember this one time where he stomped so hard he almost broke his leg

Claire: HoW

Alex: HIS BONES ARE LITERAL FUCKING STICKS 

Wesker: JUST SLAP THEM AND THEYLL BE IN PIECES

Sheva: HE SHOULDN'T BE ALIVE 

Wesker: THATS WHAT WE'VE BEEN THINKING

Alex: THAT'S WHAT WE'VE BEEN THINKING

Alex: JINX 

Wesker: JINX 

Alex: DOUBLE JINX

Wesker: DOUBLE JINX

Alex: TRIPLE JINX 

Wesker:  TRIPLE JINX

Wesker: AH DAMN 

Alex: HA YOU OWE ME A BEER 

Wesker: IM GETTING MYSELF ONE TOO 

Alex: SORE LOSER

Wesker: SHUT UP ELLEN DEGENERES 

Alex: NO U NEO 

Wesker: OVERUSED

Chris: still funny

Team S.T.A.R.S (Alpha)

Wesker: Alright listen up fuckers

Wesker: And Jill 

Jill: :)

Wesker: Schools starting next week and there are new students who have transferred here and one of them are the daughter of the president of USA. So in order to keep our track of being the best student council team 5 years in a row we need to be on our top priority for our reputation.

Joseph: ?

Wesker:  be the good little shits you're not

Chris: but I am good

Wesker: Yes but you're annoying

Jill: Ha

Chris: :(

Wesker: But anyways y'all wanna egg professor irons car and possibly break his windshield?

Jill: YES 

Joseph: YES 

Barry: ...I'll get the sledgehammer

Wesker: THIS IS WHY YOU'RE MY FAVORITE BARRY

The Trash Can 

Wesker: We'll be right back we got errands to run

Leon: What are those errands?

Wesker: Destroying professor irons car

Leon: WITHOUT ME?

Sherry: lemme slap my shoes on and get a rocket launcher-

Claire: yo hold up lemme hop in 

Ada: where are my HEELS-

Ethan: Professor irons?

Jill: YES he's the ASSHOLE of the century

Ethan: I know

Ethan: ALCINA CAN I BORROW ONE OF YOUR AXES?

LadyD.: YES YOU MAY 

Ethan: THANK YOU

Ethan: Karl you wanna come?

Karl: What are we doing?

Ethan: We are destroying professor irons car

Karl: say less

Wesker: Alright lets go

Alex: Hold up can I invite some people?

Wesker: Sure who are they?

Alex: I think you'll know em 

Jill: AYYYY NEMESIS DAB ME UP 

Piers: that was a bad idea 

Joseph: DAMN SHE FLEW 

Leon: oH AH DAMN IT HEY MR.X TF U DOIN HERE 

Mr.x: idk 

Ethan: OH FOR CHRIST SAKE

Lycan: WAZZUP ETHAN 

Ethan: GET AWAY YOU FORTNITE VIRGIN

Lycan: BUT YOUR MY BUDDY-

Ethan: NO

Wesker: Alex who the hell are these people

Alex: I met them at work and apparently they knew them so I was like why not 

Wesker: I guess

Wesker: Alright people were here to destroy this fuckers car so let's get to it 

Jill: YEAH!!!×&×€+*_11€1(1

Joseph: YEEEEEEE

Leon: AHHHH

Chris: oh lawd 

Mr.x: ayo the police are coming

Leon: oH sHiT

Alex: X, NEMESIS, LYCAN GET IN THE VAN 

Wesker: EVERYONE GET IN THE VAN 

Piers: ohshitojsitohshitohsthisyegsuanakksjsosoa

Jill: PIERS CALM TF DOWN 

Leon: X we still going to explore that abandoned police department right?

Mr.x: yeah 

Sherry: STEP ON THE GAS PEDAL SIS WE GOTTA GO

Chris: WE DIPPIIIIIIIN 

Claire: the police is on our ass

Ada: throw me out of the car

Leon:  what

Ada: THROW ME OUT

Chris: GLADLY

Ada: AaAaAaAaAaAaAa

Wesker: Ada are you alright!?

Ada: Yes Wesker i have a plan so don't worry

Jill: BE BRAVE SOLDIER 

Ada: I SHALL 

Karl: y'all left somebody

Ethan: sHIT TURN AROUND 

Wesker: fuck that you're getting a uber

Barbacue sauce: So how was your trip???

Ethan: Awesome

Piers: terrifyinksoskaksm

Cassandra: 👀 fresh meat?

Jill: This is Piers Nirvana my best friend

Piers: Its nivans-

Karl: Y'ALL FUCKING LEFT SOMEBODY

Chris: Once told me the world was gonna roll me

Claire:  I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed 

Leon: She was looking kinda dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an L on her forehead

Jill: WELL-

Karl: I hate all of you

Jake: They know 

Chapter Text

The Trash Can

Everyone's Online

Ethan: ITS SPOOKY SEASON 👻🎃

Ethan: CHRIS PLAY THE SONG

Leon: Bro no i just got my spine back

Wesker: What??

Karl: its October already?

Ethan: MMM HMM

LadyD.: ah shit here we go again 

Claire: What happened last year?

Cassandra: we threw a party :D

LadyD.: IT LOOKED LIKE A FUCKING CRACK HOUSE WHEN I GOT BACK 

LadyD.: WHAT DID YALL DO

Barbecuesauce: IT WASN'T EVEN US IT WAS SOME BOYS FROM THE FOOTBALL TEAM 

Daniela: YEAH THE ONES THAT YOU INVITED

Barbecuesauce: THEY'RE STUPID BUT THEY'RE HOT

Leon: no tf they're not 

Claire: They're really not

Weaker: they are funny though

Sherry: Honestly yeah

Chris: Bruh that's coming from Wesker

Ethan: Anyways get yo costumes cuz we are going trICK OR TREATING

Chris: YESSIR

Leon: WOOOO

Karl: Wesker you’re watching them 

Wesker: I dislike y’all 

Ada: my toes are burning

Leon: Girrl my hamstrings don’t feel right 

Chris: MY LEG AND ARM FEELS LIKEE IT HAS A HEARTBEAT 

Karl: What did y’all do??

Rebecca: Dipping from the police

LadyD.: why?

Leon: They know about his car 

Jake: Oh damn

Ada: YALL WANNA DIP TO MEXICO 

Chris: NO

Chapter Text

The Trash Can

5 Online 

Leon: HELP A FUCKSI WEREWOLF EATI MEJIAOAJSMS

Chris: what the dog doin

Cassandra: OOH SHIT THATS CHARLES

Heisenburg: UHH C'MERE BOAH 

Ethan: Ok Arthur Morgan

LadyD.: Oh my! Are you ok dear?

Leon: Girl idfk 

Chris: bro tell me why I just saw Wesker humping a pillow

Rebbeca: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY 

Leon: Chris you're banned

Chris: DON'T BAN ME

Chris: BAN WESKER

Wesker: WHY ARE YOU LYING ON MY NAME

Ada: NAH WHAT

Chris: I AIN'T LYING I KNOW WHAT I SAW

Wesker: Hell nah Chris you're on something

Chris: I'm sleep deprived

Jill: That makes sense

Leon: At least explain how you came upon that 😭

Chris: I was LITERALLY minding my business and when I walked out of the bathroom, my phone was about to die. So I walk to Wesker's room cuz I needed a charger cuz I forgot mine

Claire: I told yo dumbass to noT FORGET YOUR CHARGER

Chris:  SHUT UP

Chris: Anyways, keep in mind I KNOCKED before I walked in so I learned from last time

Jill: good

Chris: and I was like "hey, can I borrow your charger real quick?" I was expecting a snarky good ol' answer from the man

Chris: ONLY TO HEAR MOANING AND WHIMPERING

Leon: WOAH

Wesker: YOU'RE LYING SO MUCH RN

Wesker: I DID NO SUCH THING REDFIELD

Chris: BRO YES YOU DIIIIIIID

Sherry: hey guys what's going on

Ada: its not appropriate

Claire: It's nap time child go to sleep

Sherry: I just woke up-

Ada: go back

Wesker: Wheres the evidence?????????

Chris: I recorded it 😈

Ethan: 😟

Sherry: ☹️

Ada: WHY

Chris: WE ARE IN THE COURT OF LAW ADA THIS IS FOR GOVERNMENT PURPOSES

Jill: MAN STFU U AIN'T THE CIA

Chris has send a video

Sherry: he just Rick rolled us

Rebecca: in 2022

Chris: there's my evidence

Leon: Chris your about to become the evidence

Chris: what?🤠

Heisenburg:  GET EM Y'ALL

Chris: wHAT IN TARNATION

Wesker: wait why was everyone so interested in it-

LadyD.: Everyone! I have a treat for you all in the kitchen as a goodbye gift!

Ethan: aww thank you lady d you didn't have to do that!

LadyD.: I didn't but mother Miranda made me

Cassandra: NOOOOO DON'T LEEEEAVE

Barbecuesauce: WE BARLEY HANGED OUUUT

Danielle: C'MON STAY A LITTLE LONGER PLEEEEASE

Ethan: Im sorry y'all, I have school

Barbecuesauce: HOMESCHOOL DAMNIT

Ethan: homeschool sucks

Ethan: plus we can call and text each other. It won't be that bad!

Danielle: sure...

Cassandra: ok...

Barbecuesauce: fine...

Wesker: C'mon pack your stuff and get it in the car

Ethan: Alright bye y'all!

Cassandra: bye...

Danielle: 🤧🤧

Heisenberg: fucking finally

LadyD.: LETS GET DRUNK

Heisenberg: HELL YEAH

Barbecuesauce: I hate you

Chris: Could've at least let get some of that cake

Sheva: Chris I oughta-

Ethan:  Chris for the love of God shut up

Ada: oh shit

Chris: my bad 😶

Wesker: hey y'all there's a hurricane coming

Ada: SHIT

Jill: LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO

Sherry: Wait isn't hurricane Ian?

Wesker: yeah

Sheva: Not white boy Ian

Chris: He finna call us a dingus and think he did something

Rebecca: damn 😭

Ada: 💀

Sherry: it's a major category 3

Wesker: damn y'all gotta stay at my house

Chris: 😈

Ethan: Chris no 😟

Chris: IM FEELING DEVIOUS MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS 

Leon: basically the hurricane is my new house right-

Claire: lemme move in with you

Chapter Text

The Trash Can

 Piers: what happened here

Jill: WHERE TF HAVE YOU BEEN

Rebecca: OMG BESTIE

Leon: huh?

Chris: DAMN I forgot about you

Wesker: No cuz where have you actually been

Piers: Busy with work

Jill: You have a job?

Piers: Mhmm

Piers: I'ma Field officer 

Rebecca: NO WAY

Leon: yoU LUCKY PIECE OF SHIT

Jill: ONG?

Piers: yeah! 

Chris: LEON

Leon: what

Chris: WE HAVE FINALS NEXT WEEK

Leon: OH SHIT

Claire: YOU'RE LYING

Claire: THATS NEXT MONTH

Chris: NEXT MONTH TURNED TO NEXT WEEK

Wesker: fuck

Wesker: AYO @Birkin 

Birkin: tf u want

Piers: Damn 

Wesker: When's finals?

Birkin: literally next week I just emailed you the schedule

Chris: right after break tho???

Birkin: yeah might as well just to get it out of the way

Leon: aw man ☹️

Birkin: but anyways, Wesker what's for dinner tonight?

Wesker: Not sure yet, any ideas?

Ada: ngl crab legs sound immaculate rn

Wesker: Ong that's a good idea that'll be dinner

Chris: for us right since we at yo house

Wesker: for all of us

Chris: aight

Wesker: Ok, I'm going to the store for food and supplies, birkin make sure they don't break or steal anything

Birkin: Alright have a safe trip

Wesker: Sure will

Chris: :)

Leon: :)

Birkin: Saying it right now, I don't like any of y'all 

Claire: we don't like you either

Ada: We're just pretending so Wesker doesn't kick us out 

Birkin: Oh I know

Birkin: one thing I will do is make sure y'all fail the finals but that's just me

Jill: see now who is y'all

Ada: only one who's failing is Chris

Chris: Why :(

Birkin: Yeah but seeing you guys suffer is hilarious

Birkin: Anyways, I'll be on my way to the showers

Sherry: DAD I KNOW YOU DIDN'T SAY THAT TO THEM

Chris: EW THATS YOUR FATHER

Claire: I'm adopting you 

Ada: CLAIRE IM HER STEPMOTHER WE MAKING SURE SHE HAS A FUTURE

Leon: YEAAAAAAH LESBIAN MOM'S

Sherry: Omg please do I will be so happy

Wesker: I'm back help me with the groceries

Chris: Aight c'mon Leon

Leon: k

Piers: I'm here too!

Rebecca: YEEEEEEE

Jill: PIERS :D

Piers: I'm gonna steal your food I'm hungry 

Birkin: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Wesker: WHAT HAPPENED

Sherry: poured cold water on him in the shower

Wesker: ... Probably deserved it

Wesker: Anyways, let's start cooking

Ada: WOOO wait where's Ethan?

Chris: Asleep, so is Sheva 

Leon: Ok LETS GET STARTED

Jill: BEST DAY EVER 

Chapter Text

The Trash Can

Wesker: Hey so basically the store was out of lobsters and shit so I just got pizza

Chris: RAAAAAH

Wesker: But we have to cook it first

Chris: :(

Ethan: hey guys my phone died anybody got a charger?

Sherry: IPhone?

Ethan: Android 

Ada: HAHA ANDROID USER

Ethan:  AT LEAST MY CREATOR IS STILL ALIVE 

Claire: 😧

Ada: apologies 

Ethan: Apologies accepted. Also thanks Claire I'll give it back once I'm done

Claire: No problem 

Lucas: GUYS I FOUND A FROG NEAR THE BACK DOOR

Ada: EW

Ethan: :0 I WANNA SEE IT

Leon: ME TOO 

Lucas: ITS OVER HERE DONT RUN AT IT ITLL GET SCARED

Chris: it's so small

Lucas: it is a tree frog. They're usually small

Chris: ohhh

Leon: THERES A BIG ONE OVER THERE

Ethan: where!?!??!?1111!,!??!?1?1

Leon: Next to the bush!

Lucas: THATS A BULLFROG TOO

Lucas: IMA CATCH IT BRB

Wesker: what are y'all doing

Sheva: Frogs

Lucas: how tf you get over here...

Birkin:  MY FROGS

Leon: WHAT THE- SHERRY

Sherry: IM SORRY HE JUST PUSHED ME I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING 

Birkin: GET OUT OF THERE YOU JACKASS

Lucas: IM KEEPING THIS BULLFROG THO FUCK YOU

Birkin: NO

Wesker: Calm down we can go get more

Birkin: He stole them wesker 

Wesker: you deserve it at this point 

Ada: DAMN

Chris: AND YOU JUST GONNA LET THAT SLIDE??

Wesker: Chris stop instigating 

Wesker: But pizza's done don'T ENGULFE IT GODDAMMIT CHRIS

Chris: mNyh MOESUTH OANN FIRE

Claire: THIS LITERALLY HAPPENS EVERY TIME WE COOK ANYTHING FOR YOU

Wesker: Hurry up and go to sleep I'm tired af

Lucas: pizza and ranch is so fucking good

Ada: h e l l n o

Pier: Ada you're lame pizza with ranch is amazing

Wesker: Nah I'm with Ada, ranch taste weird

Claire: Yall the type of people who thinks blue cheese is better

Rebecca: I LOVE BLUE CHEESE WHAT

Ethan: EW BLUE CHEESE???

Ada: BLUE CHEESE RANCH SLAPS 

Wesker: YES

Ethan:  MF THATS LITERALLY MOLD

Ethan: YOU'RE EATING MOLD

Chris: EW

Leon: Barbecue sauce with pizza is pretty good

Rebecca: ...

Ada: ...

Chris: My boyfriend cooking straight facts as usual

Rebecca: BOYFRIEND???

Ethan: WHAT

Wesker: HUH???

Lucas: HAHAHA WESKER SPAT HIS DRINK OUT

Ada: SINCE WHEN DID YALL START DATING!?

Leon: A week ago!

Lucas: Well congratulations!

Leon: Thank you!

Chris: When we get married yall are invited

Sheva: BET 

Birkin: NUH UH

Chris: Of course not you

Chris: But wesker and his sister is

Alex: YURRR

Wesker: BRUH GO TO BED ALEX

Alex: YO MAMA