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If Simon had been here before, he could not recall. It was seven long years since Simon had been anywhere, and the thought of him being a socialite of any kind was laughable. He had his four haunts, and that was more than enough for him.
How he managed to find a boyfriend in those conditions was damn near baffling, yet here he was on a date. He had given up on love a long time ago, and yet here it was, hand in hand with life and a future and still by some twist of luck here.
But now was not the time to think of his near brush with the hangman’s noose. There would be plenty of time to contemplate this odd second chance he’d been given.
“I’m surprised you would have picked a place like this, Simon. With the way you dress and act I would imagine you would be more comfortable in a graveyard or other dreary locations,” His Mourning Dove quipped as they approached him, linking arms with him.
“I thought you’d get too at home and I’d never see you again, Sad Monk,” though that was far from his only reason of wanting to come here. “The real surprise will be if they’ll let me in.”
“Is your sordid past of mischief catching up with you?”
Simon snorted. “That’s pretty rich coming from a former rebel,” he started to walk them to the door. “I’ll let you guess what I did.”
His Mourning Dove thought it over as they followed him. “You scared a child so badly they escorted you off the premises.”
“Despite his stature, Justice-Dono is an adult. As his sibling you should know that,” Simon took the opportunity to pay for both of them while Mourning Dove wasn’t paying attention.
“Taka swooped down and stole an exotic fish?” they asked, not realizing they were already walking into the humid building. Perhaps they didn’t know there was a fee to pay.
“Nope, unfortunately Taka isn’t allowed in. This is a narrow minded place where they don’t believe hawks can be service animals,” he checked last night, and he would have to rely on his Mourning Dove instead should he need to carry things. .
“Did you get in a fight with the mermaid that paints faces?”
“No, but if you really want we could track them down and get our faces done,” he grinned a little, already imagining the face of someone here to paint the faces of children staring him down as he stood in line.
Mourning Dove wouldn’t evoke the same reaction. There was no comedy in someone with as gentle of an aura as them getting their face painted.
They’re a bastard, but they don’t wear that badge as proudly as Simon does.
“We can’t because I’m not subjecting that poor minimum wage worker to you walking up to them and asking if you can get a teardrop under your eye,”
“Right, not until we do what we came here to do.”
“I had no idea you had an agenda for this trip. Should I be excited or worried?”
Simon kissed their cheek. “Have I ever misled you, Mourning Dove?”
“Do you want the genuine answer to that, Reverse Panda?”
A snicker escaped his lips. “Come, let’s not dawdle too long, lest they change their mind about me and kick us out.”
The directions were clear enough, signs nice and high so that they could easily be seen by all, and people like Simon wouldn’t hit his head on them. He could appreciate that.
“At some point will you tell me what it is you’ve done?”
A smirk crossed his lips. “Oh I prosecuted their orca.”
His smirk grew wider as he could feel the doubting gaze of his Mourning Dove. He could still remember when it was given to him as an option. Possibly the greatest day of the entire seven years he was incarcerated.
“You can’t possibly think I’m going to believe you prosecuted a whale , Simon,”
“I think what we’re looking for is right behind these doors,” he guided them to a pair of doors that slowly opened, letting them into a small little room, before letting them into the crisp, cold air of their destination.
The only place with penguins in this entire city.
His Mourning Dove chuckled next to him as they took in the sight. “I should’ve known a place like this would be your destination,” they shook their head. “Perhaps the issue is not that they’d kick you out , but rather they put you back in your enclosure.”
“I knew a bloke a few cells down from mine that had a penguin. Between him and the man with the polar bear the jail could get freezing.”
How he wished that was a fact. A penguin would’ve been so much better than a polar bear. Rocky was a lovely neighbor, but he was certainly no delightfully fanciful gentleman.
“I can’t believe they let you have two cells. How fortuitous for you.”
“You can get away with a lot when you’re the favourite.”
“Normally I’d doubt a scoundrel like you being the prison equivalent of a teacher’s pet, but odder things have happened I suppose.”
“You can ask His Baldness, and he will tell you I’m a delight to have in court,” he smirked smugly, knowing full well he had fully come into his own as a nuisance.
“Apollo told me about you walking out in the middle of court.”
“I missed nothing of value. I had to bring in a witness who was full of hot air and provided little in the way of actual testimony. It’s one of the many times that I don’t pity the defense,” though between Songbird and Robin, he’s damn near inescapable.
“If we left based on how little a witness provides, there’d be no need for prosecutors,” Mourning Dove scolded.
“Yes yes, I apologize a thousand times over. While you find a chalkboard for me to write my penance on, may I be excused to see if I can at all feed these penguins?” he tried to pull away, only for them to move with him.
“You say that, yet we are both well aware that you’re not going to write anything down. And why on earth would your penance be as odd as that?”
“I’m just thinking back to that case. The real killer was a piece of work. One of those types that let a minute amount of power go directly to his head,” Simon shook his head as they walked. “Some people should really not be teachers.”
“I suppose I’m fortunate that I’ve never had to experience anything like that. My teachers were wildly unqualified for the task, but they could be trusted to some degree with power.”
“Oh? Do tell.”
But before they could tell him anything, “Ahoy there, Prosecutor Nostache!” Ms. Buckler called out, running over to him from the other side of the room with a huge bucket of fish. “What brings ye to me neck of the woods.”
“Nostache?” His Mourning Dove asked, desperate to keep some degree of composure lest they embarrass themself in public.
“Aye there be min-no-w stache on his face. What else am I to call him?”
“Well if he grew facial hair, we’d never see his face again.”
The two of them laughed, and he was glad they were enjoying teasing him.
“Sad Monk, this is Ms. Buckler. She was the one who went to trial after her orca was cleared of suspicion. Ms. Buckler, this is my boyfriend, the dread pirate Sad Monk,” though the teasing beforehand didn’t help, he was probably going to introduce them this way anyways.
“Please, call me Nahyuta,” they corrected, their free hand going to clutch their beads. “And tell me he’s joking about the orca part.”
“Nope! Ol’ Nostache here was the one who took the case. And I’m grateful too. If it weren’t for him Orla would be sleeping in Davy Jones’ locker.”
“I was hoping she’d just get a jail cell with the rest of us inmates. I could not begin to tell you the joy I’d feel as they shuffled me out for food and I passed an orca I put there myself,” it was the most obtainable dream he had at the time.
“Aye, had she not been mine and a guiltless girl, I’d’ve found it funny meself,” Ms. Buckler nodded.
“Of all the outlandish things you’ve said, how is that the one that was true?” His Mourning Dove asked, pinching the bridge of their nose.
“I think you’ll find I’m telling the truth more often than you give me credit. I’ve just led a silly life,” not that he didn’t lie on occasion, it was too funny not to. He turned his attention turned back to Ms. Buckler. “So your surgery went well? Cykes-Dono told me you went ahead and did it. She didn’t know if you were back or not. She hasn’t seen you the past few times she’s been here.”
“Me and Athena have been like two ships in the night. I’ve missed her by a hair several times now,” she shook her head. “But me surgery went well. The doctor said I should be shipshape in no time.”
“I see… Perhaps we can make a little trade then. Because you have something I want.”
“Simon, what on earth are you planning?”
“Ye got me attention.”
He pulled out his cellphone from his pocket. “You let us feed the penguins, and I text Athena and let her know you’re here right now.”
He waited for an objection, but His Mourning Dove stayed quiet.
“Ye got yerself a deal. Ye’ll be saving me a lot of time,” she grinned.
“No objections from you, Mourning Dove?”
“I can’t imagine there’ll be too many more opportunities to feed penguins. Just so long as they don’t count you among them and I have to leave you here.”
Simon rolled his eyes, and got to texting Canary. “Consider it a deal.”