Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Link had seen some strange things in his time, but this specific strange thing was a first.

If he hadn’t been halfway up a tree at the time (that korok had to be around there somewhere) he might have missed the moment that a dark portal opened up in the middle of the forest and expelled eight heavily equipped, heartily cursing strangers. As it was, Link froze for a few precious seconds before his survival instincts caught up with him, following which he swiftly downed a stealth potion and darted up to hide in the thicker foliage. Thankfully, none of the newcomers appeared to notice the small shower of leaves that fell in his wake.

‘That fucking portal came out of fucking nowhere,’ one of the strangers groused – remarkably unconcernedly – as he shook the dirt and dead leaves from his scarlet tunic. ‘You ok there, ’Rule?’

A muffled noise and a shaky thumbs up rose from a pile of dead leaves, followed by a head covered in tangled brown hair. ‘Not my best landing, I’ll admit,’ the teenager responded aloud before turning his head back to the pile of leaves at his side. ‘Four?’ he called. ‘Can you hear me?’

From his perch in the tree, Link watched “Rule” uncover a small figure clad in a multi-coloured tunic. Four gave a small groan of complaint when Rule nudged him, but did not otherwise respond.

‘Give him a moment,’ suggested an armour-clad man leaning up against a tree stump. He looked to be the oldest of the group, with more than a few battles to his name if the scars on his face were any indication. Link shrank back behind the tree trunk as the man tilted his head curiously, scanning over his surroundings with a single blue eye – the other closed behind a vicious vertical slash. Link gave it several seconds to be safe, and then cautiously peeked back through the branches.

‘Does anyone recognise this Hyrule?’ the armoured man was asking. His companions others treated the odd question as a matter of course, responding with a chorus of “no”s and “not mine”s.

‘Could be Four’s?’ Red-Tunic suggested dubiously.

‘Don’ thing zo,’ the smallest slurred as he levered himself up. ‘Urgh. Did I mention I hate portals?’

‘You might’ve. Once or twice,’ a higher-pitched voice replied cheerfully. Link looked that way and saw a child – a literal child, carrying a sword and shield, that the other warrior types had seemingly decided to bring with them on their quest (something in Link’s buried memories stirred angrily at that). ‘Does that mean this is a new era then?’

The eldest frowned. ‘It’s been over a month since we’ve encountered a new Link. Why now?’

‘Presumably for the same reason we get pulled away from a nice afternoon stroll and dumped into a pile of wet leaves,’ Red-Tunic suggested sarcastically. ‘Will of the gods and all that.’

‘Shut it, Legend, you didn’t even land in the puddle,’ the finely-dressed blonde next to him moaned as he wrung out his muddy blue scarf.

‘Oh, I’m so sorry, Warriors, I didn’t even think of your poor hair!’ Legend mocked.

Warriors growled and flicked a shower of muddy water in his direction. Legend swore, as did Four, caught in the crossfire. The armoured stranger merely sighed, turned his face to the sky and said plaintively, ‘Dear Malon. How do all these kids have so much energy?’

Link heard a chuckle in response and turned his gaze to the tattooed man with a dark grey pelt around his shoulders. ‘Well, old man,’ he said, ‘maybe you’ll get lucky and the new Link’ll be even older. Then you can call someone “grandpa” for a change.’

‘No one’s older than Time,’ the child cut in confidently. ‘They’d be dust by now, surely.’

The armoured man (Time? Was that really his name?) gave a long-suffering sigh, mussing the child’s hair for good measure. ‘Ah, yes: the perils of age,’ he conceded. ‘Dust catches us all, in the end. Or so I hear.’

‘Time, you’re what… thirty?’ Warriors said dubiously. ‘Thirty-five, maybe?’

‘I am the oldest person here, captain. Such is my burden to bear.’

‘Well, technically I’m the oldest,’ a brunette in a white cape offered mildly. There was a brief, contemplative pause before multiple voices spoke up in an argument that Link struggled to follow.

‘I mean, technically, yeah, but how old even are you? For that matter, how old is our creaky grandpa over there? I don’t think we ever properly established that.’

‘We did establish that: as old as Time.’

‘Urgh.’

‘Hah, walked right into that one.’

‘Screw that, and screw Sky being the oldest. I say time shenanigans don’t count.’

‘Then I’ll have you know I’ve never done a single shenanigan in my life.’

‘Twice in a damn row! And that one isn’t even true: I’ve seen your mask collection. Nothing but shenanigans as far as the eye can see.’

‘Which eye?’

‘Which…? Oh, you piece of –’

‘Poor creaky grandpa Sky. Imagine being older than Time.’

‘Not as old as that damn joke is getting…’

Wind cut in, ‘None of you can even cook. I don’t know why any of you think you count as grown adults.’

Another pause. And then, Rule’s dry voice: ‘Wind, you wouldn’t know a grown adult if it confiscated your hip flask.’

‘Hey! I told you not to mention the hip flask! Besides, pirate drinking age starts at ten! I’m practically middle-aged!’

‘Hold everything: why does Wind have a hip flask?’ the one with the pelt asked. ‘That better be just for potions.’

‘Hands off, geezer, you didn’t see nothing!’

‘Give it here!’

And so on it went.

It didn’t seem like the squabbling would be over anytime soon, so Link let his attention drift.

He didn’t know quite what to make of the group. Suddenness of their appearance aside, they didn’t seem to be Yiga – or, if they were, then they were the most suspicious looking Yiga he’d ever seen, Kohga included.

He’d heard that they were looking for “a new Link”. What did that even mean? Let alone “a new Hyrule”? Clearly there was a lot of context he was missing, but had they really come from some other land, looking for him of all people?

Then there was their odd appearance, and the names that seemed so haphazard that they could only be some sort of clumsy pseudonym. He picked up the last few with the small portion of his attention still monitoring the chatter: the one with the pelt was Twilight, the child was Wind, the one with the white cape was Sky and the one called “Rule” was actually “Hyrule”.

He refocused his attention just in time to hear Time call the group to order. ‘Enough of this. We’re wasting sunlight,’ he said reluctantly. ‘Is everyone alright to keep moving? Four?’

‘I’ll manage,’ Four replied, stretching and rising to his feet with only a slight groan. ‘Over that way, then? I think I can see some sort of structure.’

‘Let’s have a look,’ Time agreed, and the group began to amble off to the east, past the tree where Link still hid, barely daring to breathe lest he draw their attention. It was only once the shuffling and complaining were out of earshot that he finally climbed down from his perch and let himself drop lightly to the damp forest floor.

He hesitated for a long moment, head cocked curiously to the side, before carefully following the others through the trees.

The friendly banter faded as the group walked up the short hill, emerged from the forest and took in their first vista of the new world.

The structure Four had spotted turned out to be the ancient ruins of a fountain, long since crumbled and overgrown. It sat as centrepiece to a stone courtyard with steps leading away in three directions: up the hills to the side of the forest, left and downwards to a broad, flat field pierced by more ruins and by a strange, glowing tower, and upwards to the right where a grand temple loomed ominously over the quiet wilderness. A few brief words had the group splintering off into pairings and trios, each scouting out their surroundings for clues after promising not to wander too far.

As usual, Wind was fearless in his curiosity, rushing off ahead with Warriors hurrying after to hopefully prevent unnecessary falls off cliffs or any of the other common disasters that accompanied their more adventurous companions. Legend sighed with exasperation but followed the two downwards with a speculative glance at the glowing tower, while Four and Sky headed up the hill to seek out a better view. Twilight gave Time a brief nod before heading back into the forest. To Time’s surprise, rather than indulge his own adventurous nature, Hyrule stayed by his side, shooting him an unexpected look of concern.

‘Are you alright?’ he asked.

‘Hmm? Why wouldn’t I be?’ Time responded.

Hyrule scanned his expression carefully. ‘It’s just that you looked a little… off. When you saw the temple, that is.’

Time blinked. ‘I did?’

‘Well… yeah.’

Time followed his companion’s gaze back to what was unmistakeably the ruins of the Temple of Time, and then downwards to the few remnants of what must have once been Hyrule Castle. There was little enough of the latter that if the temple itself had not been so well preserved he may never have recognised it.

The ruins were clearly ancient – centuries old, if not millennia. Grass grew thickly over the stone steps and choked out the fountain, but those parts seemed barely touched by the ages compared to the crumbling battlements and the tiny remnants of what had once been soaring towers. Most of the castle must be either buried underground or long since cleared away and repurposed.

Time was no stranger to the fact that the land of Hyrule had transformed over the ages, due in no small part due to his own actions – and inactions – and to the way the timeline had splintered through Zelda’s own choice. Wind had spoken proudly of the Hero of Time of his own era, for all that Time himself took a more dismal view of the future he had somehow left behind. Legend had once hinted that they held a similar connection, though he had shut down as soon as Time began to press for details. It crossed his mind briefly at that moment that Hyrule might know more, but he decided against asking. Perhaps he’d rather not answer, and perhaps Time would rather not know.

The ruins before him were eerily similar to the state of the fallen castle where he’d once fought Ganon’s beast form, yet the land had clearly long since moved on. The grass still grew, the birds still sang. The sun marched onwards over the horizon, as if Time’s actions truly meant nothing in the face of the passing years.

He realised he still hadn’t replied. His overly perceptive companion was watching him carefully, a repeat enquiry clearly hovering on his lips.

‘It’s nothing you need to worry about,’ Time said softly. ‘Just old memories.’

And in this era at least: that was clearly all they were.

After about an hour, the chain slowly reconvened at the base of the stairs – all except Twilight, presumably still scouting ahead in wolf form. Time wasn’t particularly worried; his protégé was one of the few in the group he’d trust to exercise caution and avoid getting into trouble (Hyrule, Wind and Legend were most certainly not on that list). He himself had spent his time alongside Hyrule, investigating the temple ruins and the strange spider-like mechanical constructs that adorned its base. Thankfully, while the latter certainly gave off an ominous impression, none of them had appeared to be functioning.

As was often the case with bad news, Legend was the first to voice what they had all begun to wonder. ‘Is it just me, or is this Hyrule completely uninhabited?’ he asked.

Time grimaced.

Sky shrugged.

Hyrule scowled at Legend, who gazed back impassively.

‘We’ve only just started exploring,’ Four pointed out.

Legend shook his head. ‘All of these ruins look ancient. I don’t think anyone’s lived here for centuries.’ He pointed off into the distance and added, ‘I think that’s Hyrule Castle, way off in that direction. We’re pretty high up, so you can get a good view off the edge of the cliff. Other than the castle and those weird tower things, I couldn’t see anything else even vaguely resembling civilisation.’

Time took in the nearby “weird tower thing” with a speculative eye. ‘What are those anyway, I wonder?’ he mused. ‘It doesn’t seem to have any stairs. Did anyone manage to get a close look?’

‘Not a close look, but from what I could see I’d say it’s possible to climb up the side,’ Sky said, ‘Though it’s a long way up, and I don’t like the idea of losing my grip.’

‘Let’s save the broken legs for now,’ Legend said sourly. ‘Doesn’t look big enough for anyone to actually live in, so it’s presumably used as a conduit for some sort of magic. Though, I’ll be honest: I don’t recognise it at all.’

‘There’s some other weird structure over there as well,’ Wind chimed in, pointing to a large lump of black stone veined through with glowing blue. ‘It had something that looked like an entrance, with the Sheikah symbol marked on top, but I think you need some sort of key to open it.’

‘It looks a little newer than the rest of the ruins,’ Warriors added. ‘Less moss at least. Though I don’t think anyone lives there – at least, there are no signs of other people.’

‘So, no one’s seen any other people?’ Time asked, deflating a little. Everyone shook their heads, but Wind piped up, ‘Oh! Maybe Twilight found something?’

‘Where did farm boy run off to, anyway?’ Legend asked in a tone that was probably supposed to sound completely irritated and not at all worried. ‘So much for staying close.’

Wind snorted. ‘Well, you can ask him; he’s right over –’

‘I’m back! I’m here! Sorry I’m late!’ Twilight called out breathlessly as he approached.

Time raised his eyebrow at the sight of an unusually dishevelled Twilight, panting with exertion and inexplicably gripping a… bunch of bananas?

‘Umm… what?’ Hyrule sputtered, a remarkably coherent response in context of the circumstances.

‘Found someone,’ Twilight gasped. ‘Tried to talk. He threw these at me and ran off. Damn he’s fast! Did anyone see where the kid went?’

The group exchanged stupefied looks. ‘No?’ Sky suggested, looking around. ‘No, we haven’t seen anyone.’

‘Why the bananas?’ Hyrule wanted to know.

Twilight threw his hands up and said, ‘I don’t know why the bananas! I’m so confused right now! Am I supposed to eat these?! Do I look like someone easily distracted by bananas?!’

Ever the strategist, Warriors pointed out, ‘I mean, I’d be pretty distracted if someone threw bananas at me.’ Legend sniggered.

‘Hold on, forget about the bananas for now,’ Time interjected. ‘Deep breath. Start again. Who did you see and where?’

Twilight took a deep breath, followed by another. Once he was able to speak relatively calmly, he replied, ‘Alright. So. I was scouting the forests. I found a bunch of ruins, and I also found a few monster camps – all of them completely empty, except for a few busted weapons and traces of recent meals. I could see signs that the camp had been attacked, and probably not too long before we arrived. Three main camps, two of them close to each other, the last a little further away. Looked like bokoblins for the most part – probably a total of about fifteen, with maybe two or three moblins.’

‘That many?’ Time exclaimed at the same time Legend asked, ‘How did you figure all that out?’

Twilight hesitated. ‘I’m, uh, good at tracking,’ he explained, and moved on before any other questions could follow. ‘As I said, the camps were completely empty, and I don’t think it’s because the monsters left. I think they were all taken out. The monster scents – I mean, the monster tracks were so heavy that I couldn’t tell much about who had attacked and how, but while I was trying to figure that out, I noticed that there was someone nearby, watching me.

‘From what I saw, it looked like a teenager – maybe sixteen or seventeen? Blonde hair, blue tunic. Had a sword and a bow. I tried to approach, but uhh… long story short, bad timing on my part, he saw something weird and I think I might have spooked him. He pulled out his bow before I could even blink. I think it was a warning shot? Hard to say. I tried to calm him down, tried to talk with him, and that’s about the time he threw the bananas and ran off. Like I said, he moved way too fast, and the weird thing is that he was also really quiet. I could barely even hear him moving after the first few seconds. He pretty much vanished into the forest. I thought he might have come this way, but I suppose not.’

‘Do you remember where you saw him?’ Time asked.

Twilight nodded. ‘I should be able to get back there. Want me to see if I can find the trail?’

‘Let’s all go,’ Time suggested. ‘I think we’ve already found about all we can in this area. And I admit, I’m a little curious about our little fruit throwing friend.’

‘Think he could be this era’s Link?’ Twilight asked.

‘He’d better not be,’ Legend muttered, with a dark look at the offending produce.

Time reviewed his knowledge of the stranger who may or may not be this realm’s hero. He was young, he was skittish, he was a very fast and quiet runner – seemingly very at home in the wilds – and he was proficient with a bow, sword and… bananas.

Reluctant elder of the group as he may be, Time seldom felt his many years of mental age and somewhat fewer years of physical age weighing on him quite as much as he did right then in that moment.

In a voice of utter despair, he moaned to the heavens: ‘He’ll fit right in, damn it.’

Chapter Text

With all the turns Link’s life had taken, from the clear memories that followed his awakening to the scattered mental remnants of the before time, he tried his best to keep an open mind and to take each day as it came. He had also just watched a Hylian man transform into a wolf. That, he supposed, was reasonable grounds for exercising caution.

If there was one thing that Link truly excelled at, it was survival. It may not be a particularly heroic skill, but Link could have written a novel and several sequels with all of the traits he possessed that weren’t particularly heroic. With her comparatively intact memories, Princess Zelda may have even been able to fill in the prequels if, instead of running off into the wilds on his own again, he’d stuck around long enough to ask. The point was that when Link’s survival instincts told him to hide, he hid, and when they told him to run from the possibly-Yiga-possibly-interdimensional-werewolf trying to parlay with him, you had better believe he threw a bunch of Mighty Bananas at said Yiga-werewolf and booked it with all the strength his hundred-and-sixteen-year-old legs could manage. And thus, the natural result of those survival instincts was Link, hiding atop a tree, chewing on a spare banana and once again contemplating his life choices.

He sighed.

He had been busy lurking and/or spying from the edge of the forest when the traveller called Twilight had approached, looking carefully in all directions (except, apparently, Link’s) before touching the crystal pendant that hung around his neck. Dark energy had burst out and consumed his form, coalescing into the shape of a grey wolf with matching facial markings.

Link wasn’t going to not snoop after that.

He had followed the wolf through the forest, all the way to the little lake towards the north-west. He’d watched it sniff its surroundings, pawing at the decaying food scraps and broken weapons that marked the former bokoblin presence, and then, seemingly dismayed by its inability to climb ladders, the wolf had transformed back into a Hylian.

On reflection, that had been a rather bad moment for Link to let his head poke out of the bush. In his defence: it was a goddess damned werewolf.

Was it still called a “werewolf” if no full moon was required? He’d be sure to ask Hino about it sometime. If anyone were to understand the intricacies of lunar transformations, it would likely be the strange researcher of the Dueling Peaks stable, or so Link had silently mused during the long pause in which he and Twilight had frozen in place, staring at each other like a maybe-a-werewolf caught in the act and a definitely-not-a-werewolf caught watching the act.

‘Hey there,’ Twilight had said at last. ‘So… I know this probably looks bad, but if you’ll give me a moment, I can explain –’

Link hadn’t given him a moment. Link had launched an arrow, changed his mind at the last minute and rerouted the shot into a nearby tree, and then Link had thrown a bunch of bananas, yelled “not today, Ganon!” and ran off like hell was at his heels.

Survival instincts could be complicated at times.

Link sighed once more as he chomped down on the last of his snack and dropped the bright yellow peel back into his slate for later disposal. In any case, he decided, there was no law that said he had to have a friendly conversation with the increasingly-unlikely-to-be-a-Yiga interdimensional maybe-a-werewolf. Given enough time to rebuild the fallen legal system, perhaps Zelda would invent one. In the meantime, Twilight and his friends could go on their merry way and Link would go on his.

Such were his good intentions, which he promptly ignored as he climbed down the tree and went back to eavesdrop once more.

‘I’m an idiot,’ he remarked aloud.

‘I’m a fucking moron,’ Legend said as Wolfie trotted confidently into their midst.

Sky, Time, Hyrule, Wind, Warriors and Four all looked at him. Wolfie looked at him, cocking his lupine head curiously. Twilight did not look at him, because Twilight was conveniently not with the group at the time.

There were only so many times that Wolfie and Twilight could conveniently not be seen in the same space at the same time before a reasonable person would begin to notice that Wolfie and Twilight were conveniently never found in the same space at the same time. And that they both had the same facial markings, and that Twilight had a crystal pendant that clearly hummed with dark magic, and that Twilight’s nickname was “pup”, and that Twilight had definitely accidentally let slip less than an hour ago that he could track scents, and that –

‘Did you just figure it out now?’ Hyrule asked curiously.

Legend stared at his younger incarnation in sheer disbelief. Kind, precious, too-good-for-this-world Hyrule looked back at him with pure eyes filled with absolutely zero gloating whatsoever.

‘I reiterate,’ Legend said, ‘I am a fucking moron.’

‘Language,’ Time chided in a tone that held absolutely no confidence that he would be heeded. Quietly, he added, ‘That took longer than I expected.’

Fuck.

No wonder their illustrious leader, notorious hater of unnecessary splitting of the party, was unphased by Twilight’s suggestion of scouting ahead for the mysterious runaway. He was in on it too. Had they all discovered the truth before Legend?! Was he really that much of a moron?!

‘What exactly did you figure out?’ Warriors asked irritably.

‘Oh, thank the Golden Three,’ Legend breathed. He didn’t know if his pride would have survived the beating of Warriors figuring out Twilight’s “secret” before him.

‘What are you on about now?’ Warriors demanded.

‘Nothing really,’ Legend answered airily. ‘Just a little in-joke. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it.’

Warriors made the usual hilarious noise of outrage, but before Legend could really enjoy it, Wind, of all people, came up to whisper in Legend’s ear. ‘I knew from the beginning. I just played along ’cause it was funny,’ he said.

Legend recoiled. ‘You absolute little shit.’

Wind shot him a grin and a thumbs up. Wearily, Time said, ‘I know it’s far too late by now, but please stop teaching Wind to swear.’

‘Feeling neglected?’ Wind asked. ‘I can teach you to swear too, if you like.’

‘That’s quite alright.’

‘Say “fuck”, old man. I dare you.’

‘Wolfie, did you manage to pick up the scent?’ Time asked resolutely.

Twilight gave a rumble of dissatisfaction and shook his head, pawing instead at a broken weapon that looked to be of bokoblin size and design.

‘Twilight did mention that the new kid knew his way around the wilds,’ Four mused. ‘I wonder if he could be purposely using the monster tracks to hide his own?’

‘Where is Twilight anyway?’ Warriors wanted to know. ‘He should’ve been back by now.’

With a completely straight face, Time replied, ‘I’m sure he’s somewhere nearby. His tracking skills are almost as good as Wolfie’s, so one way or another, I expect we’ll find his new friend soon enough.’

Legend shot a dirty glance at Time, who gave no sign he had noticed, and at Wolfie, who only scratched behind his ear with a confused expression.

‘Twilight’s “new friend” doesn’t seem particularly interested in talking with us,’ Legend commented. ‘I doubt he’ll be pleased if we track him down and shake him for answers.’

‘No, I suppose not,’ Time sighed. ‘But so far he is the only lead we have about this place. Hopefully he’ll at least be up for a brief conversation. Even if he’s not the new Link, we'd need to ask for some directions.’

‘That’s great and all, but if the sniffer dog can’t find a trail, then we’ll be searching for a while,’ Legend grumbled. ‘There’s only so much sunlight left.’

Time considered his words. ‘That’s a fair point,’ he conceded. ‘We may be better off making camp for now and trying again tomorrow.’ He turned to the wolf and asked, with full seriousness, ‘Wolfie, do you think you could find Twilight for us so we can let him know the plan?’

Legend opened his mouth to complain – loudly and at length – about the charade. Time gave him a stern look, and Legend closed his mouth. Wolfie departed cheerfully on a short and pointless journey of self-discovery, returning as a Hylian man.

Warriors teased Twilight for getting lost. Sky expressed wholehearted relief that he was safe. Twilight revealed that he’d spotted a good place to hunt, but apologised for his inability to find anything else useful.

‘That makes sense,’ Legend said faintly. ‘Wolfie couldn’t find anything either.’

They made camp on the opposite side of the pond. It was a nice, shady spot with plenty of flat ground, even if no one particularly liked the idea of sleeping near a recent battlefield.

To Legend’s deep relief, Twilight volunteered himself for cookpot duty. It wasn’t that he was a particularly good chef; it was that he at least didn’t possess the culinary creativity of Hyrule, the culinary enthusiasm of Wind or the culinary “je ne sais quoi” of Sky or Four. None of Twilight’s dinners had yet resembled either a failed attempt at a new art movement or a successful attempt at necromancy, which was far more than what some others among their team could say.

‘Nice work, Twi,’ Legend complimented as he dug into the blessedly non-reanimated stew.

Twilight smiled back. ‘Thanks. If nothing else, this place is a paradise for hunters and foragers. There’s plenty of game, plenty of wild herbs and vegetables. Even mushrooms. Shops would be nice of course, but at least we won’t go hungry anytime soon.’

Legend made a face. ‘Always looking on the bright side, aren’t you?’

‘Someone has to,’ Twilight said mildly.

‘Yeah, yeah.’ Legend waved him off.

‘It’s really beautiful here,’ Hyrule said wistfully. ‘There’s so much to explore, and everything seems so alive.’

‘It’s a bit like your world, isn’t it?’ Warriors commented. ‘Honestly that’s the first thing I thought when I saw all those overgrown ruins.’ He snorted. ‘And the skittish lone wanderer of course.’

‘I wasn’t that skittish!’ Hyrule protested.

‘You threw a fireball at me and then used magic to jump twenty feet up a cliff,’ Warriors countered.

‘I… uh… didn’t throw any bananas?’ Hyrule tried. Wind snorted as Twilight face-palmed at the reminder.

Legend slung a protective arm around Hyrule’s shoulders and glared the others down. ‘Well, what did you idiots expect when you start with, “hey, nice to meet you, Link, we’re your past and future reincarnations, also named Link, but you can call us by our weird little nicknames, and we’ve come to collect you for a time travelling quest ordained by the Goddess”?’

‘Those were not… the exact words,’ Sky dissented quietly.

‘You’re lucky it was a fireball and not a bomb,’ Legend grumbled. He freed Hyrule from his embrace and went back to his stew.

After a while, Time asked, ‘Is this place similar to your era, Hyrule?’

Legend saw Hyrule's shoulders droop. ‘Not at all,’ he answered glumly.

Warriors shot a questioning glance his way. ‘Really?’

‘Really,’ Hyrule confirmed. He fiddled with his spoon. ‘Like I said, everything here seems so full of life. It’s not like that where I came from. Good places to forage are rare and far between, and you need to be careful of things like poisoned water… and monsters of course.  Mostly, it’s just barren wasteland and old ruins with a few scattered villages here and there. Perhaps it will recover someday, but right now? My homeland isn’t really wild; it’s just… dead.’

Silence followed his words as everyone stared at Hyrule, stricken by the bleak picture he painted. Most of the others had seen Hyrule’s world before of course, at least briefly, but none had lived it. It was rare enough for Hyrule to even speak of it. Warriors and Time both looked very much like they regretted asking at all.

‘I guess the hero of this world didn’t completely mess up,’ Legend murmured. The words came out louder than he expected, and he winced at Hyrule’s flinch.

‘Legend,’ Time said firmly: a clear warning.

Legend shook his head. ‘That came out wrong. I’m not blaming you, Rulie. You’re not responsible for the world you inherited. Blame the one who came before and left a mess for you to clean up.’ He let his gaze drop mulishly to the half-empty bowl of stew still clutched in his hands. ‘It just makes me angry, you know, thinking about the kind of “hero” that screws up so bad that he leaves the world in ruins.’

He didn’t look up, even as he heard Hyrule shifting closer. A gentle hand touched his shoulder, and Legend shook it off. Wasn’t it just so typical of his kind-hearted successor to think that he was the one in need of comfort?

Quietly, Time said, ‘Even heroes have limits.’

‘Yeah, well maybe they shouldn’t,’ Legend snapped, gaze snapping up to glare at their unofficial leader. ‘If you’re supposed to be a hero, then you set aside your limits and do your damn job.’

Time did not respond, at least not verbally. Legend wasn’t sure how to read their leader’s complicated expression. He did, however, notice the moment that Sky quietly rose to his feet and walked away from the camp.

‘Stay close,’ Time called out resignedly. Sky nodded to show that he’d heard.

‘Where’s he going?’ a confused Legend asked.

‘A walk, I expect,’ Time replied. ‘Say, Twilight, did you make enough for seconds?’

Legend blinked. ‘Did I miss something?’

‘Sure thing,’ Twilight said, taking Time’s bowl and reaching for the ladle. ‘Anyone else want some? Hyrule? Legend? Gotta keep your strength up: we have a feral gremlin wildchild to chase down tomorrow.’

‘I’m fine for now,’ Hyrule replied. ‘It really is delicious though.’

‘We should con him into cooking for us more often, shouldn’t we?’ Time agreed. ‘Eat up, Legend. Pup, I think this is your best work yet.’

Legend was pretty sure that was a damn lie, but he took his cue to mechanically scoop up another mouthful just in case. He grimaced: definitely a lie. There was a strange bitterness to the food that he hadn’t even noticed before, and it stuck in his throat. As he struggled to choke it down, the hand he had shaken off his shoulder earlier returned, ignoring the resulting flinch and squeezing insistently. Giving into the inevitable, Legend reached over to grip his successor’s hand with his own.

Sky sat on the edge of a grassy incline, gazing up at the heavens. The sun had long since fallen below the horizon, but the sky remained strangely bright. He could faintly see a glow behind the tree line that must be a full moon, or close to one.

He heard a voice call out to him. ‘Hey there.’ Sky turned to see a rather sheepish Legend approaching. Sky nodded a silent greeting as he took a sudden, intense interest in the edge of his sailcloth. My, it was starting to get dirty with all this travelling.

The silence stretched on while Sky searched for his voice. In the end, Legend beat him to it.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said.

Sky looked over in surprise. ‘What for?’

He shrugged. ‘For being an insensitive prick. As always. Wasn’t the first time I’ve put my foot in my mouth and it probably won’t be the last, but for what it’s worth: I really didn’t mean to hurt you, and I really am sorry.’

Sky shook his head. ‘Don’t be. You have nothing to be sorry for. You weren’t an insensitive prick; you were just frustrated. And you had the right to be frustrated.’ Sky sighed. ‘I’m the one who ran off for no reason. Did Time send you to find me?’

‘No one sent me,’ Legend said. ‘I spent a few extra moments thinking about how I’d run my mouth and how it might have been interpreted, and I… was concerned. The truth is, I, uhh… I often forget. That we’re all a bit too alike in some ways. That the stuff I was saying about me – not about you – can cut a bit close for others too. Even if it feels like nonsense, that you would ever blame yourself for… that you would ever think –’

‘I see. I suppose I have been gone for a while,’ Sky said flatly. ‘We’d better head back.’ He started to lift himself up from the ground, but Legend caught his arm.

‘As you say, I was frustrated, but never at you,’ he insisted, gaze intense. ‘I was frustrated at myself.’

‘I know,’ said Sky. ‘You’re a good person, Legend.’

Legend raised an eyebrow in an uncanny impression of Time’s disapproval face. ‘Did you miss the part where I admitted to being an insensitive prick? I can do it again if you like.’

Sky chuckled. ‘No, I heard you the first time. I just think it’s nice for such an insensitive prick to come and check in on me.’ His small grin widened as he watched Legend’s face flush with red.

‘You – what the heck,’ he sputtered. ‘Now you’re just – urgh. We’re going back to camp now; you’re clearly exhausted and need to rest.’

‘You sure?’ Sky asked. ‘I don’t mind staying here and explaining things a little more. Let’s see: top ten things I like about Legend. Number one –’

‘Nope, we’re leaving,’ Legend said. He hauled Sky to his feet. Sky smirked, but let himself be dragged along by his furiously blushing companion. Honestly, it was too easy to fluster Legend at times, for all he pretended to be untouchable. Sky felt the last traces of tension loosen as he set his guilt aside for the moment and instead focused on the warm red of his friend’s face.

And the red on his arm. And the red on Sky’s white sailcloth. And the red flooding the whole area.

He froze where he stood. ‘Wait.’

‘Huh?’ Legend glanced back sharply.

Sky turned to the east, where a huge scarlet moon rose from beyond the trees, beaming its unnatural light down upon the clearing. The breath caught in his lungs as the air thickened with dark magic and the whole sky burst with flame and fury. A distant howl reverberated through the earth, followed by a cry of alarm and a chorus of monstrous shrieks from behind the two frozen figures.

Sky turned to Legend with panicked eyes, and together, they began to run.

Chapter Text

It was cold inside the Shrine of Resurrection.

Most of the shrines Link had travelled to held a strange chill to their interiors, but there was something about that particular place that never failed to make him shiver. Bundling up made no difference; the cold cut straight through any scarf or tunic he wore. He could only assume it was some quirk of how it had been designed, with the reasons long lost to the ages.

The place was empty and silent, and no one interrupted as Link ran his hand lightly over the edge of the shallow basin at the centre of the shrine. Some time ago, between his awakening and the first time Link had returned to the shrine during his quest, one particularly adventurous korok had temporarily made its house in there. Link still didn’t know what had come over him when he’d shouted at the child-like creature to leave now, get out of there and don’t come back. He shuddered to recall how its cheery face had turned to shock and terror and how it had stuttered out a sharp apology and vanished from view. He never saw that particular korok again.

‘It just makes me angry, you know, thinking about the kind of “hero” that screws up so bad that he leaves the world in ruins for someone else to clean up.’

Link’s seeking hands found the usual dents in the otherwise smooth material and hovered there, fitting themselves perfectly into the finger-shaped crannies. He didn’t remember making them, if he ever had. Link’s memories paused at the pain-blurred moment he had fallen to his injuries one hundred years ago, and began a hundred years later with Zelda’s voice calling him to wakefulness once more. If anything existed in between those two points, it was probably a blessing that he didn’t remember it.

‘Even heroes have limits.’

There was no particularly good reason for Link to keep coming back to this place. Indeed, there were countless better ways he could be spending his time. Though Calamity Ganon was finally defeated, the land still teemed with monsters and the roads remained unsafe. Zelda herself had urged him to stay by her side, if not as a knight then as a hero. As a symbol of hope to a people long devoid of it.

‘Guess the hero of this world didn’t completely mess up.’

Link snorted with amusement, fingers digging into the crevices in the stone. He wasn’t sure who Zelda thought she was fooling with her words. He was no hero. If she’d watched his journey as closely as she’d claimed, then surely Zelda knew that as well.

‘If you’re supposed to be a hero, then you set aside your limits and do your damn job!’

Perhaps she was merely desperate. This world was certainly one in need of a hero, and perhaps, in her eyes, Link was the best possible option among several bad choices. Maybe if Link was less of a coward, he’d even ask the travellers to speak with Zelda to see if they could fill in the role instead. If they really were who they claimed to be, then no doubt they’d do a better job than someone like him ever could.

They’d probably need his assistance getting off the plateau. His slate didn’t seem to be able to teleport more than one person at once, nor would his paraglider carry their combined weight, but if they did need help then Teba and his other Rito friends would likely be willing to fly the others down if he explained things properly.

No, even better: what if he asked Zelda to explain things? She’d always been better at speaking than him. The princess was a natural born leader, even if her fool of a father hadn’t thought so. There was no need for Link to get involved and make a mess of things.

With that resolved, Link finally noticed just how much his hand was starting to sting from the constant pressure. He pulled his fingers away from the damaged stone to see blood staining the edges of his fingernails. He grimaced with disgust and brushed at the mess with his other hand, only succeeding in making things worse. Along with the persistent shivers wracking his frame, it was as good a sign as any that he’d lingered for too long.

He strode resolutely out of the shrine, taking a shuddering breath of the warm, fresh air of the outside world. Link shut his eyes and pushed forward, walking from instinct towards the point where the hilltop offered a gorgeous view of the wilderness that Link called home.

He opened his eyes. And blinked again, twice, disbelieving.

‘Impossible,’ he breathed, hands falling limp to his sides.

Uncaring of what was and was not possible in the wake of Calamity Ganon’s defeat, the unholy light of the Blood Moon beamed down from the heavens.

It all happened too quickly for them to make sense of. One moment, Hyrule had been happily watching Wind recount a story from his journey, and by the next, the camp was already under attack.

Bokoblins burst into snarling and slobbering existence all around them, eyes glowing almost as bright as the crimson moon overhead. Hyrule dove for his sword and shield as Time yelled out a frantic warning. He saw Twilight stumble back with a cry of pain and froze where he stood.

‘Hyrule! Focus!’ Wind yelled, raising his shield just in time. Four appeared at his side and together they took down the enemy. Another two quickly replaced it.

A club thudded heavily down Hyrule’s shield, this one wielded by a pale grey bokoblin that cackled maliciously when Hyrule stumbled. He narrowly dodged the follow up swing at his ribs and retaliated with a quick stab. Though his aim was true, the blade barely pierced its tough skin and the silver bokoblin gave little hint that it had even felt the injury. Hastily, he withdrew.

Four cried out in pain, clutching at an arrow lodged in his shoulder. Another arrow whizzed past Hyrule’s head, close enough to leave a scratch across his cheek. Hyrule turned his head to see a pair of bow-wielding enemies standing atop raised platforms, each already nocking a new arrow to their strings.

In the moment of his distraction, the silver bokoblin lunged forward. He swung his shield up just in time, but the force of the blow was enough to send him stumbling back, and to his horror he found himself tripping and falling over the uneven ground.

‘Hyrule!’ Wind screamed from somewhere nearby.

The whole world seemed to slow down as the silver bokoblin closed in. Hyrule rolled frantically to the side, knowing instinctively that he was far too late. He flinched as the spiked club descended.

There was a whoosh and a thud as something metallic flew through the air above his head. Time sped up again as the bokoblin stumbled back, a gold and silver broadsword lodged into its skull, and a thin figure wearing a cape and hood rushed past Hyrule.

Dark fabric twisted through the air as the newcomer launched themself feet first onto the monster and kicked off, cartwheeling through the air with a bow in hand. In the brief moment that they were airborne, three arrows flew forth with uncanny speed, each striking their targets squarely.

They landed in a crouch and tucked their bow away. With a burst of blue light a second broadsword appeared in their hand.

‘Can you stand?’

Hyrule blinked in surprise at the question. ‘Y-yes,’ he stuttered, rising to his feet to stand side by side with his rescuer. The hooded figure glanced in his direction, revealing bright blue eyes set in a youthful face framed by long, untidy blonde hair. In the fading crimson glow, he caught brief sight of a devastating pattern of scars running down one side of his rescuer’s face.

‘Ready then?’ the stranger asked, shaking Hyrule from his thoughts. No, not a stranger, he realised: it could only be the Link of this era. In that moment, even without asking, Hyrule was sure of it.

He nodded firmly, and, without further ado, the pair charged into battle.

Link cursed his own stupidity with the one part of his attention he always kept reserved for such things. With the rest of his focus, he bore down on the silver bokoblin that was harrying the youngest member of the group. It gave a choked scream of rage before finally yielding to his blade. He moved on.

Link had rushed to the campsite based on panicked instinct more than anything else. It was only once he’d arrived that he remembered: these weren’t just scared travellers stuck out in the wilds on a Blood Moon, these were the heroes of Hyrule’s long history, none of which, to the best of his knowledge, had failed the way Link himself had. What the hell did he think he was doing, trying to help them out? He’d only get in their way.

He’d almost made his mind up to leave when he saw one of them – the gentle, shy one, the one who came from a Hyrule even more damaged than his own – stumble and fall.

No time to think: he had moved in to attack.

With the element of surprise lost, the hero at his side fought skilfully and efficiently. Link glanced over with no small amount of envy. His own fighting style relied on quick footwork and risky manoeuvres to keep his enemies off guard, but the hero of Hyrule was polished and precise. They could not have been more different, and yet Link felt strangely at ease with each of them covering each other’s backs, moving in tandem no matter how mismatched.

Almost as if Link belonged there.

His throat tightened. He refused to acknowledge it. Later, perhaps, when there were no more enemies left to fight.

The space around them finally cleared as Hyrule cut down the blue bokoblin that had tried to attack Link from behind. He then rushed to inspect Four’s injured shoulder as Link scanned the area for remaining foes.

His eyes widened as he saw the Hero of Twilight crumpled on the ground to the other side of the pond. The Hero of Time stood over him, fending off two bokoblins at once – one blue, one gold. Link instinctively reached for his bow, but stopped when he realised just how risky of a shot it would be.

‘Hyrule!’ he said sharply, tipping his head in the direction of the battle. Shit, he thought suddenly, he wasn’t supposed to reveal knowing their names, was he?

‘Go!’ Hyrule urged. Link put the thought out of his mind and dashed towards the others.

The gold bokoblin called out a battlecry. Time set his feet with determination. Neither of them noticed Link until he was close enough to strike.

The unforgiving wilds had burned vicious lessons into Link’s mind, chief amongst them to always take the weakest ones out first. Strong monsters were to be avoided or approached with caution, but even the weakest of the weak could get in a lucky shot if given the right opportunity. Link was nothing if not an example of that. Without mercy, he stabbed the blue bokoblin in the back.

He withdrew his sword swiftly and was about to move on to the next foe when he noticed something strange. He had the briefest moment in which to curiously inspect the dark, viscous blood staining the weapon before Link heard Time shout a warning. His eyes widened at the sight of the sneering bokoblin that raised its weapon with no heed to the black blood spilling from its chest.

Crack.

The club connected with his right arm and kept going, tossing Link like a ragdoll into a nearby tree. His head slammed against the trunk and pain burst all over his body. Sounds became muffled and confused, echoing through deep water on their way to him.

‘Link! Hey!’

‘C’mon kid, please. Speak to us.’

‘I think he’s coming to!’

‘Link?’

‘Let’s give him some space – we don’t want to panic him.’

‘Link! Link, can you hear me?’

Someone was calling to him. Link abruptly remembered that he was still on duty. What was he doing just lying there when there were enemies about? He hauled himself to his feet, ignoring Zelda’s cry of alarm as he raised his shield to defend her. ‘S-stay back, Princess,’ he slurred. ‘I’ll protect you.’

‘Link?’

‘Link? It’s ok. It’s over,’ Zelda said cautiously. ‘You can stop now.’

He glanced backwards with a blink of confusion; that wasn’t Zelda’s voice.

His vision cleared to reveal a teenage boy with wavy brown hair. Hyrule carefully guided Link’s shield down and laid a grounding hand on his shoulder. Link flinched at the touch.

Blearily, he scanned his surroundings. The enemies were gone and the heroes sat chatting and tending to injuries. There was a slight air of forced cheer, and Link noticed many stolen glances thrown in his direction when they thought he wasn’t looking.

He turned back to Hyrule. ‘Wha’ happen’d?’ he asked confusedly.

‘Here. Sit down and drink this first,’ Hyrule commanded, stepping forward with a bottle filled with red liquid. Link shifted backwards, still taking stock of the situation.

‘Wheh’s m’ slate?’ he asked as he suddenly noticed its absence.

‘This thing?’ Hyrule asked, holding out the familiar device. ‘Here – I wasn’t sure what it was, but it looked important.’

Link took his slate back, gave it a quick once over (was that a crack in the casing? That probably wasn’t good) and clipped it back onto his belt as Hyrule steered him back to the ground.

‘Now drink,’ Hyrule reminded him. He brought the elixir to Link’s face with an expression that said he would force it down his throat if he had to. Link couldn’t seem to find the energy to argue. The taste was awful, but he immediately felt his aches ease and the fuzziness in his mind clear just a little.

‘So, what did happen?’ Link asked again as he handed the empty bottle back.

Hyrule hesitated. ‘You got hit pretty hard. Time mentioned that the bokoblin that attacked you was black-blooded – I’m not sure if you’ve seen them before, but those monsters are much stronger than usual for their type. I was scared that… anyway, Sky and Legend – two of my friends – made it back at just the right moment. And Twilight in particular fought pretty hard to protect you.’ The edge of his frown quirked up slightly. ‘He’s the one you threw the bananas at, earlier today.’

Link looked over at just the right moment to meet Twilight’s furtive glance before the shapeshifter turned his gaze back to Time.

‘So, he’s alright, then?’ Link asked.

‘Took a bit of a tumble, but he’ll be fine,’ Hyrule assured him. ‘Right now, I’m more concerned about you. Speaking of which, I just need you to turn your head a little bit so I can –’

‘I really did just get in the way, didn’t I?’ Link said.

Hyrule jolted. ‘What?’

Link chuckled. ‘I’m such a fool. Again. I can’t believe I ever thought I could… well, sorry about that. And sorry about your elixir. Hang on, I think I still have a spare…’

‘Hold everything,’ Hyrule cut in. ‘You didn’t get in the way at all. If anything, you saved my life.’

‘Hey, it’s ok, I’m not offended or anything,’ Link assured him. ‘You know what: forget I said anything. Here – take this.’ He attempted to hand over the last hearty elixir he had in his inventory, but Hyrule pushed his hands back.

‘Save it for yourself,’ he said. ‘You’re still hurt, you know, though we’ll hold off on giving you any more potions until I’ve checked over your injuries. I want to make sure you heal correctly.’

‘I’m fine,’ Link told him, setting the elixir down on the grass instead. ‘I’ve had worse.’

Hyrule’s eyebrows knit in annoyance. ‘You know, I’ve heard that one plenty of times before, but somehow it never gets less annoying. Link, you are not fine. You have at least a sprained arm, probably a broken one. You may also have broken ribs. You have a head injury that only just stopped bleeding, and I’m pretty sure you have a concussion. You probably have bruises all over your back too. You need to rest, and you need to let me do my work to take care of you.’

Link considered that. ‘No,’ he answered.

Hyrule scowled. ‘What do you mean “no”?’

‘I mean no. Exactly what I said. You’re clearly all very busy people and so am I. So, I’ll leave you to your job and you can leave me to mine.’ Link inclined his head away from the pond. ‘Fair warning: there’s a talus over there that would have revived with the blood moon. I’m sure you can handle it, but taluses can be pretty tough – well, by my own standards, at least – so be careful if you head that way. Anyway, thanks for the rescue and sorry about the inconvenience. I’d better get going.’

‘Again, you really don’t seem to realise how injured you are,’ Hyrule said tightly. ‘I’m not going anywhere until you let me treat you, and you certainly aren’t going anywhere either.’

‘Wanna bet?’ Link asked. The conversation was fun and all, but he wasn’t lying that both of them had better things to do. He pulled his Sheikah Slate free and tapped the screen, selecting a point well to the other side of the map. ‘Bye.’

‘Link, don’t you dare –!’

If there was anything that followed, Link missed it. He was already gone.

Hyrule inhaled. Hyrule exhaled. Hyrule repeated the slow motion several times as the rest of the camp erupted around him.

‘What the hell?! Did he just vanish?’ Legend yelled.

‘I think he teleported,’ Twilight mused. ‘Do you think he’s able to teleport?’

‘No way – if he can then we’ll never find him,’ Warriors moaned.

‘He’s… more nervous than I expected,’ Time admitted reluctantly.

‘And he’s awesome!’ Wind exclaimed. ‘I can’t believe he can teleport! Did you all see him fight before? He shot like three arrows at once while flipping through the air. The new Link is a badass!’

‘Yeah, a badass that we’ll probably never see again,’ Legend said sourly.

‘Hyrule, are you ok over there?’ Sky asked out of the blue, and the clamour died down instantly. Hyrule felt seven gazes lock onto him at once.

‘…’Rule?’ Legend prompted anxiously, all irritation forgotten. Hyrule stared into the empty space that had previously held a badly injured hero. He paused to consider his next words.

It was fine, after all. He wasn’t upset. Not at all. He wasn’t angry or furious or irate or livid, and he definitely wasn’t about to absolutely lose his mind to the overwhelming rage bubbling up from deep within his gut.

Hyrule didn’t get angry. It just wasn’t in his nature.

‘You know, Legend,’ he said conversationally, ‘Seeing how I’m the primary healer in our little team, I’ve had plenty of experience interacting with stoic heroes that refuse treatment. I mean, Time was hiding injuries right back at the start, remember? And just recently, remember how Wind tried to tell us all that he didn’t have a fever when he clearly did? Even you’ve done it a few times. Something like “it’s not that bad, don’t worry about me. Save your energy”, as if I’ll keel over and die the instant I cast a single healing spell. You know, a healing spell to help you not be in terrible pain and at risk of further injury, infection and death. That sort of thing.’

Legend didn’t respond. Everyone else stayed quiet. Hyrule continued, ‘If it was just once or twice, I’d be able to swallow my anger, act mature and we’d all move on. But see, what I’ve realised recently is that I actually do have my limits. And see, having a patient teleport away in order to avoid treatment of their multiple injuries including a concussion… hmm. Yes, I think that’s about my limit.’

‘…Oh,’ said Legend.

‘Oh,’ Hyrule agreed.

He took another deep breath. It didn’t help.

He wasn’t angry. It was fine.

He was angry. It wasn’t fine.

Hyrule took his deepest breath yet, and screamed to the unforgiving night sky, ‘HYLIA, TAKE THE FUCKING WHEEL. I FUCKING QUIT!’

Chapter Text

Link could tell that something had gone wrong with the teleportation from the moment he was rudely ejected a full metre above the ground. With a yelp of surprise, he fell the rest of the way and landed on the surprisingly soft and grassy floor of what was supposed to be the shrine closest to Hateno Village. Blearily, he lifted his aching head and looked around.

The late – or rather, early – hour and the black spots in his vision were not particularly helpful, but he was fairly sure that shrines did not normally resemble the middle of a field, and that Hateno Village did not normally resemble the south-eastern side of the Great Plateau.

‘Shit.’

He sat up too quickly and the humming in his ears crescendoed to a scream. The next thing Link knew, he was back on the ground. Probably best to take things slowly, he deduced.

He rolled onto his back and unhooked his Sheikah Slate. He’d noticed it briefly before, but had, perhaps unwisely, decided to ignore the noticeable crack that cut across one of the edges of the device. Thankfully, the storage system at least seemed to be functioning correctly, as were the four runes when he cautiously tested them. The map he pulled up was a less promising sight: a few regions were flickering in and out and the little yellow arrow that usually marked his position was shifting and spinning even as he sat still and watched. That probably wasn’t a good sign.

His whole body ached. It certainly wasn’t the worst he’d ever felt, but it was the worst he’d felt since recovering from the injuries received in his fight with the Calamity, and this time he didn’t even have a kingdom destroying eternally reviving giant evil pig monster to blame. It might have stung his pride if he had had much of that left to wound.

Overpowered bokoblin aside, Link suspected the failed teleportation attempt hadn’t helped: his head hadn’t been churning quite this badly before he’d made the jump. Zelda had previously hypothesized that the slate’s functions were tied to his own vitality somehow, though he’d never really pushed them enough to be sure. He supposed there were better times to experiment than in the immediate aftermath of a losing fight.

‘So. Teleporting is out, then,’ he said aloud. ‘Now what?’

Purah would probably know how to fix his slate, but Purah was in Hateno and Link was very clearly not in Hateno. If he wanted to get to Purah's research lab then he would have to go the long way, and going the long way meant either climbing or gliding down the Great Plateau. Climbing or gliding down from a height of that magnitude typically required two functioning arms, and, unfortunately, Link found himself at the halfway point of that lofty goal.

He glared down at the disobedient limb. It was only sprained, not broken as far as he could tell, just as his ribs were only bruised, not broken (honestly, what a drama queen that healer had been), and if the edge of the Great Plateau had been just a little closer to the ground below, then perhaps he would have risked it. As it was, and without Mipha’s healing gift to bail him out if things went badly, it wasn’t worth the risk.

So. No teleportation, no gliding and no climbing, and thanks to the Blood Moon, all of the monsters in the area would have returned to life. Link scowled at the thought: he could still fight left-handed if he had to, but he wouldn’t be able to use any shields or two-handed weapons. Bows were definitely out.

Right, then.

First things first: he needed to find something to splint his arm. Second step: look for ingredients for elixirs. Third: he was pretty sure he had a head wound that needed to be taken care of. Wait, no, the head wound was the first order of priority. It didn’t seem to be bleeding thanks to the elixir Hyrule had wasted on him, but he should probably still put a bandage on it or something. Fourth step: sleep.

Goddess, he was exhausted. Couldn’t he just skip to that last step for once?

As if in answer to his question, the heavens opened up, pouring frigid rain down upon his battered body. Link groaned in frustration, but forced himself up, bit by bit, until he was wobbling on his feet. Slowly, trembling and weak, he made his way across the land.

He’d had worse, after all.

Far across to the other side of the Great Plateau, seven heroes watched the eighth in silent terror.

The Hero of Hyrule held a quiet, gentle and kind soul. Sure, his adventurous heart, lack of innate sense for direction and avantgarde cooking skills got him into trouble at times, and sure, upon occasion he’d expressed frustration in the group’s rather casual attitude towards occupational health and safety, but at the end of the day, he’d always smile and move on as though his patience was without limit.

Perhaps, in retrospect, they should have seen it coming.

‘I QUIT! I QUIT! I’M DONE, I QUIT!’ Hyrule shrieked. ‘I QUIT SO HARD THAT ALL MY DESCENDANTS AND REINCARNATIONS ALSO QUIT! THIS IS THE END OF THE HERO’S LINE, PRAISE GANON, I QUIT!’

‘Umm… I know you’re very angry right now, Hyrule,’ Sky said hesitantly, ‘But you can’t just quit. We’re not even in your era, and –’

‘I DON’T CARE! I’M MOVING TO THE COUNTRYSIDE, I’M STARTING A FARM, I’M GONNA ADOPT TWO CATS, THREE DOGS AND A FERRET, I QUIT.’

It took a while for him to calm down.

Somewhere in between threatening to become an atheist (“HYLIA CAN’T STOP ME IF SHE DOESN’T EXIST!”) and plotting deicide (“I’LL ONE-V-ONE THAT BITCH ANYDAY, YOU THINK I GIVE A SHIT?!”), Hyrule had remembered that Twilight was still injured and stormed over to help, and if Twilight had concerns about either the sheer quantity of magic Hyrule was expending or the fact that said magic was suspiciously hurting a lot more than usual, well, he was under no obligation to voice those concerns.

Once it was finally over (Twilight still clutching his thoroughly healed and unpleasantly aching leg), Hyrule stood and dusted himself off with a vicious glare at each of the heroes. His hostility seemed to waver as he looked down and spotted the small bottle lying abandoned on the ground: an unsolicited, unwanted gift left behind by the hero they had barely had a chance to meet. Hyrule approached and picked it up, turning the item over in his hands in a moment of contemplative silence. Twilight couldn’t see his face, but he did see the way Hyrule’s posture slumped.

The healer tucked the vial into his pouch and turned to face them once more. ‘No one else is hiding injuries, I trust?’ he said in a suspiciously neutral tone that sent chills down every spine.

‘Nope!’ Wind said quickly. ‘Not me!’ Legend and Warriors chorused, and the rest were quick to follow: ‘None from me!’ ‘Wouldn’t dream of it!’ ‘Of course not!’

‘Oh, good,’ Hyrule said sweetly. ‘Then I hope we’ve all learned our lesson.’ He turned to Time and added, ‘It’s starting to rain, so I’d suggest we find some shelter. I’d hate for anyone to catch a cold.’

‘That makes sense,’ their dethroned leader agreed readily, just as cowed as the others.

Hyrule continued, ‘I suggest we head back the way we came and seek out the cave Sky and Four found. Let’s travel along the cliffside, just in case. From what Link –’ his eye twitched ‘– from what the new Link was saying earlier, it sounds as if there may be a strong enemy close by that we can avoid if we’re careful. Let’s try not to get into any more fights until at least tomorrow morning.’

‘I could scout out ahead and –’ Twilight started to suggest.

‘Hey, Time,’ Hyrule interjected cheerily, ‘Your protégé has a recently healed leg and I think it would be both unnecessarily difficult and highly painful for him to attempt to walk on his own. Think you could help him out?’

‘…Leave it to me,’ Time replied, adding a “sorry pup, healer’s orders” under his breath.

Hyrule smiled pleasantly. ‘Let’s go then!’

And so, they left.

It took about twenty minutes of cautious travel to reach the cave, by which time they were all thoroughly soaked and rather miserable. It was evident that the rain that had set in so suddenly had set in to stay, at least for the night.

From the outside, the cave looked more or less natural unless one looked particularly closely. The interior however was clearly artificial, though constructed in a style none of them recognised. It was dry and surprisingly clean inside, and even had its own source of light. The only downside was a strange chill to the chamber at the very back of the structure which they unanimously avoided after their brief initial investigation.

The moment they had confirmed the area to be free of any imminent threats, Hyrule had laid out his bedroll in the corridor, pulled the blankets up over his head and gone to sleep facing the wall, leaving it to the rest of the heroes to determine the sleeping arrangements and watch cycle.

Officially speaking, Warriors was on first watch, Sky was on second, Legend on third and Time on last. In practice, after Twilight had spent a fruitless hour or so staring at the back of his eyelids, he rose from his bedroll to find Time, Warriors and Legend all sitting together in a small huddle to chat.

‘You should be resting,’ Time rebuked quietly when he approached.

‘So should you,’ Twilight pointed out.

‘Yes, but I don’t currently have a raging healer after my blood.’

‘Exhaust yourself by staying up late in the cold and damp. See what happens.’

‘Fair,’ Time accepted. He eyed Twilight. ‘So, you couldn’t sleep either?’

He shook his head. ‘I’m worried about the kid,’ he explained.

‘What’s wrong with Wind?’ Warriors asked immediately, eyes flickering towards the youngest hero.

‘The new kid,’ Twilight clarified. He cursed under his breath. ‘Damn it, why is it always kids?! Honestly. Heaven knows I was still young during my quest, but I was at least an adult!’

Legend shrugged dispassionately. ‘He looked at least sixteen, maybe older. I wouldn’t call that a kid.’

‘It’s Hyrule’s age,’ Twilight pointed out irritably. Legend scowled at him, but the expression softened as he glanced over at the unmoving pile of blankets towards the other end of the corridor. ‘I take your point,’ Legend conceded quietly.

‘The Goddess never cared much about the age of her servants,’ Time said. There was an edge of old bitterness in his voice as he spoke. It disappeared as he added wryly, ‘Perhaps Hyrule has the right of it, after all. What say you we all enter an early retirement?’

‘Sure, let’s quit,’ Twilight agreed. ‘I’ve always wanted a pet ferret.’

‘I don’t even know what that is,’ Warriors complained.

Helpfully, Legend explained, ‘It’s like a weasel, but –’

‘Would you all be quiet?’ Sky hissed from nearby. ‘Some of us are trying to sleep.’

Properly chastised, the heroes let their conversation fall to a silence broken only by the continuing storm. After a while, Time pulled Twilight close and leaned over to whisper in his ear.

‘Have faith, pup,’ he murmured. ‘Us heroes are a resilient bunch, and this is his home turf, remember? He’ll be alright. I don’t doubt he can survive whatever the world throws at him.’

Twilight leaned into the comforting presence of his mentor, closing his eyes. ‘Maybe he can, but he shouldn’t have to, damn it,’ he breathed. ‘Did you see his scars?’

‘I know.’

‘And he was so scared, Time, I could tell. Scared of us, scared of the whole situation, but he still rushed in to help. When he took that hit and I saw him lying there, silent and still, I just…’

‘I know. I was scared too, pup.’

‘Time…’ Twilight started to say, but trailed off as the words disappeared. He wrapped a tentative arm around the older hero’s waist and was immediately pulled into a closer embrace.

‘Go on,’ Time murmured. ‘There’s something else bothering you, isn’t there?’

Twilight drew in a shaky breath. Time waited patiently as he organised his thoughts.

‘It’s just… that kid,’ Twilight whispered. ‘He said he was sorry for the… that he was sorry for the inconvenience. He sat there all alone with those dreadful scars and acted like we were wasting our time and our potions trying to take care of him. What the hell is wrong with this world that some poor kid has to feel that way?’ He felt his eyes start to well up and started to pull away – a feeble reaction easily countered by Time’s gentle resistance.

‘I know, pup,’ his mentor murmured, rubbing his back in a soothing motion. ‘Don’t worry: we’ll find him, and we’ll set him straight.’ He chuckled softly. ‘If Hyrule doesn’t kill him first, that is.’

Twilight laughed softly. ‘He’ll forgive him, if he hasn’t already. Hyrule isn’t really all that angry; he’s just sad, frustrated and scared. I don’t blame him.’

‘You don’t think he’s all that angry? Could’ve fooled me,’ Time mused.

‘No, he couldn’t have. Not for long, at least.’

‘Well, perhaps you’re right. Still: it was a good outburst while it lasted, wasn’t it?’

Twilight sniffled. ‘Yeah. I guess.’

‘And I must say: if that's how our healer acts when he’s concerned, I’d hate to see him get angry. Let's not push him again if we can avoid it. Agreed?’

‘…Agreed.’

Time briefly pulled one of his arms away, and the next Twilight knew, the older hero was wrapping the thick, rough fabric of a blanket around both of them.

Knowing full well that blankets didn’t usually manifest out of thin air, Twilight murmured back, ‘Wars, if anyone asks: you didn’t see a damn thing.’

‘At ease, soldier,’ came the familiar voice. ‘I’ll take pictographs some other day.’

Twilight snorted wetly and Time gently hushed him. Lifting his eyes briefly from his mentor’s chest, Twilight looked over his precious new family, all sprawled out to sleep next to and on top of each other, missing just the one little brother that he resolved, right then and there, to bring home.

Towards the other end of the corridor, Hyrule swiped a few stray tears from his own eyes and quietly grumbled, ‘Excuse me, Legend, but I don’t remember inviting you to my blanket fort.’

The fort’s interior was too dark to quite make out the familiar quirked eyebrow. ‘Are you uninviting me from your blanket fort?’ Legend asked.

‘…No.’

‘Then go to sleep already, you creepy little shit.’

It was hard to tell the hour from inside the strange cavern, but Four had the distinct impression that Time had let them sleep in.

They woke to the usual quartet of yammering voices that heralded a particularly long period of not splitting. It always seemed to grow a little worse after each journey they took through a goddess-forsaken portal into a new Hyrule, but on other occasions, the colours at least had something vaguely of consequence to say.

Not that morning.

That morning, the slowly unravelling entity that was Four awoke to a discussion of whether it was better to count goats or count sheep when trying to fall asleep. Red was insistent that the distinctive shape of a goat’s horns made the counting process easier and therefore more relaxing. Vio remained a stickler for the traditional methods and pointed to the mental drain of rendering the more complex physical structure of the former. Unprompted and inexplicable, Green bravely suggested cows. ‘Shut the fuck up,’ was Blue’s contribution, unfortunately spoken aloud into an otherwise quiet chamber.

All eyes turned to Four.

‘You ok over there?’ Twilight asked curiously.

‘I’m great,’ Four assured him. ‘Just woke up a little suddenly.’

Twilight let it go. He was good like that. ‘If you say so,’ he concluded. ‘Anyway, come and join us. We were just about to start discussing the plan for today.’

‘Sure.’ Four carried themself over to the others and was handed breakfast in the form of a plate of bread and sliced cheese. The simple repast was rendered unfathomably more comforting by the fact that the alternative was choking down someone else’s attempt at cooking.

Blue, you don’t get to talk, Vio complained silently, you added rocks to the last soup you cooked.

‘They were stones and they were full of natural minerals,’ Blue argued.

The eyes that had started to drift away from them switched immediately back. Four swiftly wrestled back control of their combined vocal cords and asked the others, ‘So then, what is the plan?’

‘Find the new Link. Punch him in the face with healing magic,’ Hyrule said promptly.

‘Wonderful. Concise. Well planned,’ Legend praised sarcastically, ‘except that if that dumbass really did teleport, he could be anywhere right now.’

Time tilted his head in consideration. ‘I’m sure we’ll meet him again soon if our journey to date is any indication. In the meantime, I’ve been thinking that we might as well head towards Hyrule Castle. Perhaps the Zelda of this world can tell us more. And if we encounter any other settlements along the way, we can gather information there too.’

Settlements? Blue thought. We couldn’t really see much when we looked around yesterday.

Why are you always so negative? Red complained. We barely even started looking.

Doing their best to ignore the voices in their head, Four replied, ‘Heading to the castle makes sense, but it’s a long way down to the ground from this cliff. Sky might be able to get down with his sailcloth, but it’d be a dangerous climb for the rest of us.’

‘I know,’ Time agreed. ‘Therefore, our first step will be to scout out the area. I’d suggest we head back downhill and turn right at the temple, following the edge of the cliff. We haven’t really checked that side yet.’

Blue chimed up, what’s the betting the cliff continues all the way around, and we’re just stuck here on some gigantic rock in the middle of nowhere?

Predictably, Red replied, well, I bet twenty rupees that you’re wrong, that there’s a way down and that we’ll find it today!

‘I’d rather not fall off any cliffs today,’ Legend said sourly.

Again, we share a wallet, Vio informed Blue and Red dryly. There’s literally no point betting against one another.

You’re just scared to lose, Blue hissed. Bet you fifty rupees that someone falls off a cliff today.

‘No one’s falling off any cliffs today,’ Green said decisively.

‘Obviously we won’t be walking right on the edge,’ Time said exasperatedly. ‘If we get there and find it’s too dangerous, we’ll choose another path.’

‘Shall we get a move on, then?’ Twilight asked. ‘It looks like the rain has cleared, at least.’

He spoke truly: the small glimpse of sky that they could see through the cave entrance was bright blue, as if the sudden storm from yesterday had never happened. It made Four wonder if the weather was always so volatile in this Hyrule. They hoped that the Blood Moon at least was a rare occurrence.

The blankets and bedrolls were packed up swiftly, and all of the heroes were glad to leave the creepy cavern behind and step out into the sunlight. They followed the old stone steps downhill, glancing over the strange, long ruined landmarks once more. Little was said, and Four clamped their mouth shut against the continuing ramblings in their head.

It was hard to say whether the lingering effects of the Four Sword were fading or growing stronger over time. They used the sword less and less, but it seemed to make no difference. Perhaps the changes were permanent. Perhaps drawing the Four Sword had only given voice and form to the shape their mind naturally held. Perhaps the gods should stop throwing them through portals that only served to make Four’s mind confused and body achy, perhaps Four should bite the bullet and explain their situation to the other heroes, and perhaps counting cows was a good way to get to sleep after all.

There was much that Four still did not know.

What Four did know was that in between the long stretches of time when it was easy to be a single person made up of four fragments were shorter moments when it was mentally far easier to let each piece have their own body, even if that resulted in physical drain.

It really had been far too long since they’d last split.

Focus, Vio hissed.

Four focused.

During the time they had zoned out, Four and their friends had already made their way down the stairs, around the temple and towards the flourishing wilderness that stretched out beyond. The group huddled together behind the fallen remnants of some sort of stone tower, looking intensely out towards a grassy field with scatterings of trees and old ruins. Four scanned the area in confusion for a moment, unable to gauge the reason for the tension, before they noticed the prowling, lion-faced monster that gripped a huge, bulky sword and a similarly proportioned shield as if they weighed no more than a knife and fork.

Ah.

‘You can’t just outrun a lynel,’ Legend was saying fiercely. ‘Do you have any idea how fast those things move? Let alone one that size? And don’t bother trying stealth; maybe a few of us could sneak past if we were careful, but a whole group? Forget it.’

‘So, we fight it, then?’ Time asked.

‘Can’t we just go around?’ Legend suggested.

‘We could, but we’d need to climb up some fairly steep cliffs,’ Sky explained. ‘And, well, we did agree not to fall off any cliffs today if possible.’

Legend made a face. ‘I’m going to regret saying that, aren’t I? Urgh. How steep are we talking?’

Four left it to Sky to reply and instead turned their eyes back to the lynel, taking in the size of the creature and its weapons. It certainly looked fearsome, but they’d faced bigger and more powerful foes in the past. If all they needed to do this time was get past it, not even defeat it... well, they had tactics for such things.

‘I have an idea,’ Four stated.

‘Hm? What is it?’ Time asked curiously.

‘It’s pretty simple,’ they replied. ‘I’ll go in and distract the lynel while you all sneak around it.’

Silence greeted their statement.

‘Wow, that’s a terrible idea,’ Hyrule said eventually.

Four shrugged. ‘I may not be the strongest, but I'm confident in my speed. I’m not going to get caught.’

‘If you had any experience with lynels, then you’d have a lot less confidence in your speed,’ Legend said tightly. ‘Let’s just climb the damn cliff and get it over with.’

‘Guys, listen to me for a moment,’ Four tried.

‘Four, your idea sucks and we’re not doing it,’ Legend replied with a glare. ‘There’s no way I’m letting you face a lynel on your own. If you want to fight it that bad, fine: let’s go together.’

‘Who said anything about fighting it?’ Green piped up. ‘We’re just going to play a little game.’

Silence again. Wow, they were getting good at prompting that reaction.

Time sighed like the weary old man they all knew him to be. ‘You know, I always thought I would be the first to crack,’ he said to no one in particular.

Legend’s eye twitched. ‘Excuse me, Four, but you don’t play games with a lynel.’

‘Watch me,’ Green challenged.

‘Alright, you know what? Let’s vote on it,’ Legend said impatiently. ‘Who here thinks Four is being a moron? Raise your hand.’

Everyone except Sky, Wind, Warriors and Four promptly raised their hands.

Sky shrugged. ‘Sounds like Four has a plan. We may as well hear it.’

‘I wanna see how this plays out,’ Wind chimed in.

‘“Moron” is pushing it,’ Warriors said. ‘A true hero has to have a few tricks up their sleeve. Four is no different.’

Legend glared at each of them. ‘Well, that’s great and all, but the Four-excluding half of the group hates his shitty plan, so I guess operation “play with the lynel” is on hold for now.’

‘Hold on,’ said Green, ‘my side hasn’t even voted yet.’

Wait, this is a bad idea– Vio started to say.

‘Four, I know the name is deeply ironic and all but do you not know how to count?’

‘Sure I do,’ Blue replied sourly. ‘Watch this: three… two… one…’

They reached for the Four Sword.

White hot agony shot through their body, and their involuntary cry was echoed by the alarm of several of their friends. Splitting was never fun, but at least it was quick. With a sudden surgical slash and a burst of light, four (lowercase) heroes stood in the place of one Four (and damn they needed a better nickname).

The other seven heroes looked at them in shock.

Green waved. ‘Hi there.’

‘Hey,’ Red greeted shyly.

‘’Sup,’ said Blue.

‘Surprise!’ Vio announced feebly.

‘Um… what?’ a befuddled Time asked. Legend said nothing, but continued to give a truly pictograph-worthy expression of utter confusion and shock.

‘So… about that vote,’ Green said. ‘We’ve heard from the dissenters. Now, who here thinks that Four is awesome and clever and great at both counting and ideas?’

The four colours raised their hands, even Vio (reluctantly). Wind added his vote with a devilish grin. ‘I'm abstaining,’ a suddenly pale Warriors stated.

All eyes turned to Sky, who gave a contemplative pause before raising his hand. ‘I’m probably going to regret this,’ he noted apologetically.

‘Sorry Lege,’ Blue said entirely unapologetically. ‘Guess you’re outnumbered. Well, see you on the other side.’

‘If you have any questions, ask them later, I guess,’ Vio added. ‘I want to hear what everyone comes up with in the meantime.’

‘See ya!’ Red announced cheerfully.

Before anyone could argue, the four colours leapt from their hiding place and skipped towards the lynel.

Faintly, over their shoulders, they heard Legend finally find his voice. ‘So Hyrule, about that ferret…’ he began.

Chapter Text

Link awoke slowly and with deep regret. Even with his eyes closed and a blanket over his head, the sunlight streaming in through the holes in the wall was far too bright.

His head throbbed and his stomach churned. He kept himself still and did his best to breathe through the nausea until eventually gauging that he would be able to move without throwing up, which seemed as good a time as any to get out of bed. His body wasn’t particularly pleased with this development, but he’d had enough of its opinions to last a week. He’d been downright generous to it the previous night: he’d treated his wounds, he’d splinted his arm, he’d fed himself, he’d even slept in a real bed (read: tattered straw mattress) for once instead of catnapping up a tree. Why, that particular day at least, he was the very paragon of personal responsibility.

He’d been rather fortunate with his location: of all the places in the Great Plateau that he could have landed after a concussion and a failed teleportation attempt, he’d arrived in the field near the old woodman’s hut. Rundown as it might have appeared at first glance, the place had done admirable work in blocking out both the rain and the wind. The main thing it didn’t seem to block out was noise.

The hut wasn’t far from the Great Plateau’s deadliest threat, and it seemed that said lynel was getting a little ornery for some reason. Perhaps a bokoblin had gotten a little too close for comfort? Monsters didn’t normally fight one another, but they could be rather territorial. It wasn’t Link’s problem, except for the part where the noise was totally his problem. Was it too much to ask that he be allowed to sleep in for once?

He munched cautiously on a few rice balls from his slate and tried his best to ignore both the many grievances of his embattled digestive system and the shouts of rage and bursts of explosives from outside. Wow, he’d almost forgotten that the resident lynel had bomb arrows; those sure were fun to be on the receiving end of.

The noise continued all throughout his breakfast – long enough for Link to start to grow concerned. He couldn’t help but feel that he was missing something very obvious.

Nothing for it, he supposed. He rose from his seat with a grunt of complaint and headed outside to see what the fuss was about.

‘They’re going to die,’ Legend said calmly. ‘Hey everyone, guess what? My friend just turned into four different people and all of them are going to die.’

‘Legend,’ Time said tightly, ‘shut up.’

By the time they had all recovered from the shock of watching a companion duplicate themself, cheat democracy and skip merrily away, the four Fours were already deep inside whatever qualified as a lynel’s personal bubble. Agonising as it was to watch, Time feared that intervening could only make things worse at that point. Thus why he was, at that moment, sitting squarely on Legend’s lumbar and pinning the squirming hero to the ground.

‘At least tell me what’s happening,’ Legend begged.

Time watched the lynel give a furious roar before it charged towards the red tunic Four, who waved politely before flying out of its path and into the waiting arms and oversized magnetic gloves of the blue tunic Four.

‘Well… no one’s dead yet?’ Time tried.

‘Damn it, old man!’ Legend yelled back. ‘If you want to be the leader then take some personal responsibility and describe it properly!’

Effective leadership meant effective delegation. ‘Wind,’ Time instructed, ‘please commentate for Legend.’

Legend’s face paled. ‘Wait, no, I changed my –!’

‘Wow, there’s some impressive teamwork, right there!’ Wind exclaimed. ‘The lynel may be fast, but it’s no match for the classic red-blue duo. One quick pulse of magic and red Four’s out of range, caught by Blue. Ooh, hold on, that’s new: the blue one just lifted the red one up and threw them back towards the lynel! Are we witnessing a falling out, or do they have a plan? Guess we’ll find out: here comes the lynel! It goes for a swing and misses as the red one shrinks down into nothing. Is red Four gone, or just too small to see? Who’s to say. The lynel doesn’t seem to know; it’s looking around but it’s not seeing anything. In comes an arrow from the purple one – a hit! Critical hit, even! The lynel stumbles and falls! Oh, there’s the red one again, growing up to full size. Red Four takes a few slashes for good measure and then flies off using some kind of weird cape. Neat trick. Oh, hey! Turns out the green one has bombs! Cutting it a bit close with the timing, my friend; that looks ready to blow. Is green Four going to be alright? Whoa – look at Green go! Those must be the famous Pegasus Boots in action!’

Wind paused for breath as an explosion rocked the arena. ‘I think I get the point,’ Legend said weakly.

‘Should we be getting a move on?’ Warriors asked uncertainly. ‘I mean, as awful as this plan is, it was supposed to be a distraction.’

‘Oh, now it’s an awful plan?’ Legend snarled. ‘Look at Mr. “I’m abstaining” over here, enjoying a friendly rendezvous with the good old consequences of his actions.’

‘Shut the fuck up, Legend.’

‘Bite me, coward.’

‘Warriors has a good point,’ Twilight cut in. ‘The sooner we get past this area, the sooner Four… the sooner the Fours can join us.’

‘Alright,’ Time allowed. ‘Legend, if I let you up do you promise to behave like a responsible adult?’

He waited out the inevitable string of expletives until Legend finally concluded, ‘Yes, fine, whatever, let’s go already!’

Good enough. Time released him.

The group edged carefully around the battlefield, doing their best not to panic with each burst of flame that set the grass alight and each roar of frustration that bellowed out of the lynel’s enormous chest. Legend’s tense posture never truly eased, and Time could see that he was gritting his teeth at their slow pace.

At last, unhindered by the thoroughly distracted lynel, they arrived at a stone outcropping at the other end of the field and paused for breath. Everyone except Legend and Sky sighed with relief.

‘Should we signal or something?’ Sky asked fretfully. ‘To let them know we made it across, I mean.’

‘Better to not distract them now,’ Time decided. ‘Let’s just stay out here in the open for a bit. They’ll have to look eventually.’

‘What the hell are they doing? Legend muttered.

Something in that tone caught Time’s attention and he gave the other hero a sharp look. ‘What?’

Legend pointed. ‘They’ve slowed down, and they’re clustered too close together. Before, they were leaving plenty of room to move. It’s almost as if…’ his words trailed away as he drew in a sudden gasp.

Three of the warriors stood clustered near a boulder: one clad in red, one in blue and one in purple. Grimly, they raised their shields to defend the final figure in green, lying prone and half obscured by the tall grass.

Time turned back to Legend a few moments too late to stop him from activating his own Pegasus Boots. ‘You snooze you lose, Old Man,’ the veteran adventurer announced, easily dodging Time’s attempt to grab him as he passed. And so, with a sharp whistle to attract the lynel’s attention, Legend dashed forward, taking with him one of the last few remaining fragments of Time’s (albeit unofficial) authority.

‘Huh,’ said Sky. ‘We probably should have seen that one coming.’

There was good news and bad news, Legend reflected as he ran at top speed across the field. Good news: the lynel was no longer attacking the trembling Fours. Bad news: the lynel was now targeting Legend instead. Also bad news: Pegasus Boots were great for running in straight lines but not particularly good for sudden turns. Extremely bad, horrendous news: Legend was currently on a collision course with a charging lynel.

‘FOUR, YOU FUCKING ARSEHOLE,’ he screamed as he took the only action he could and jumped upwards, unfurling his enchanted cape to gain height. It was just barely enough: the lynel’s fur tickled his leg as he glided over and kept running.

Eight eyes widened at his approach. ‘Legend, what are you doing here?’ the red-eyed figure yelped.

‘Saving your butts, apparently,’ he growled. ‘And you better have a damn good excuse for all this later.’ He looked over to the lynel to find that it was still a distance away, crouched in place as though stunned. Inexplicable, but it was a small blessing that Legend wouldn’t take for granted. ‘The green one – is he able to move? Or can one of you carry him?’

‘If we merge, we can move faster,’ the green Four gasped. ‘Can you buy us some time?’

‘“Merge”? What does that–?! Never mind.’ Legend decided that the explanations could wait. ‘How much time do you need?’

‘Thirty seconds should do it.’

‘I can do that,’ Legend said. Goddesses, he hoped he could do that. He fumbled quickly through his bag as the lynel finally reared up on its hind legs and pivoted towards them. ‘Signal me when you’re ready!’ he yelled and dashed towards the lynel, ice rod in one hand and sword in the other.

The four colours closed their eyes and focused on joining together once more.

Splitting always felt violent, like a slash across their chest, but merging was more akin to falling asleep. As each individual relinquished control, Four’s consciousness bobbed back to the surface, stronger and more focused than it had been in weeks, albeit exhausted and aching from phantom wounds.

With sudden clarity came sudden regret. ‘Wow,’ he declared, ‘that was not a clever or sane decision for me to make.’

A pained cry shook him out of his stupor. Legend flew back and landed hard on the ground, quickly rolling to a crouch as the lynel drew closer. He brandished a crystalline white rod and ice burst out over his foe, buying a few precious moments for Legend to get in a hit and then move out of the way. The moment he did, the lynel broke free. Legend gave a grunt of exertion and swung his rod again.

Self-reprimand could wait. ‘Over here!’ Four yelled, waving his arms.

Legend threw him a quick glance and dashed to his side. ‘You good?’ he gasped. Four noted with concern that Legend looked terribly out of breath – the same way Hyrule looked after spending too much magic in too little time.

‘I’m fine,’ he said quickly. ‘Can you run?’

Legend laughed in a slightly unhinged way. ‘Thought you’d never ask.’ He shot one more blast of ice directly into the lynel’s face, sheathed his sword and seized Four’s arm in a clammy grip.

With two sets of Pegasus Boots working together, Four allowed himself about five seconds in which to hope that they could outrun the lynel after all. That was about as much time it took for the lynel to set three bomb arrows to its bowstring and release.

He heard a gasp and felt Legend’s weak grip on his arm tighten suddenly, pulling him into a protective embrace as the world exploded around them.

Link breathed heavily through the growing fog of pain, doing his best to hold his bow steady.

He’d gotten in a few lucky shots after Legend jumped over the lynel (and what a manoeuvre that was; he couldn’t help but be impressed), but lost focus and nearly dropped his bow thanks to a particularly painful twinge of complaint from his sprained arm.

No matter. As expected, the Hero of Legend had it handled. He pulled out a magic rod and shot burst after burst of ice at the lynel. Any ice rods Link had found would have been exhausted after only a few shots, but the one Legend held had no discernible limits.

Link’s vision blurred again. He lowered his bow and slapped his own cheek with the arm that wasn’t currently attempting to murder him through sheer agony. Good luck with that, murder arm, he told it. He’d had worse. Though, to be fair: he’d also had better.

When he looked up again, Legend and Four were dashing across the field. That would be great if not for the fact that they were running in a straight line. The lynel was already raising its bow to shoot. Link started to do the same, and then paused.

What was he doing?

Truly, he’d been asking himself that same question constantly throughout the time that had passed since the fall of the Calamity, but never more than in the past few days. And here he was, once more, repeating the same errors of the previous night.

He’d told himself it was alright: so long as he stayed out of sight, he’d be out of mind. The Four clones had been far too busy to pay much attention to a few well-placed arrows, while the other heroes had been so preoccupied with watching the lynel that he’d been able to sneak past them with no difficulty whatsoever. He’d found a nice little hiding place to one side of the field to snipe from, but if he’d been risking things with his first few arrows then he was definitely pushing his luck if he shot now.

He had… done enough, right? There was no need to get involved, was there?

Link hesitated over his bowstring for a moment that the two heroes couldn’t spare. A volley of bomb arrows exploded on the field.

In the instant before the impact, Link gave an involuntary cry and startled from his hiding place. In the seconds that followed, several other voices easily drowned out his own.

‘Legend!’

‘Four!’

He turned his head in time to see the heroes abandon their position at the edge of the lynel’s territory. At the front of the group was the healer he’d met yesterday, frantically screeching out his friend’s name as Four rose to a crouch and shook the unmoving Hero of Legend.

Failure.

Worthless.

Coward.

Link shook the dark thoughts from his mind and focused on the scene below. They weren’t going to be fast enough, Link realised. Didn’t they see that the lynel was already charging, already raising its sword to attack? They wouldn’t make it in time to make a difference.

But he could.

‘If you’re supposed to be a hero, then you set aside your limits and do your damn job.’

His arm was in agony. His head was spinning. None of it mattered. Link launched himself off the rock and into the air, feeling time slow to a crawl as he summoned his last remaining ancient arrow and nocked it to the string.

The deadly projectile flew through the air in a streak of blue. Even as his over-strained arm finally gave out and dropped to Link’s side, his aim was as perfect as ever.

Legend wasn’t sure if he’d blacked out or just lost focus for a second, but one moment he was desperately shielding Four from a bomb and the next he was watching a lynel disintegrate in a burst of blue light.

‘What the fuck?’ he managed to say before two Hylians thrust their heads into his view.

‘Legend!’ Four cried. ‘Thank goodness!’

‘Stay still. I need to check you over,’ Hyrule said tightly, healing magic already burning at his fingertips.

‘H-hold on,’ Legend wheezed. He turned his head the other direction and saw a flash of grey fabric half hidden by the grass, slowly creeping away. His mind flickered back to the brief glimpse he’d caught earlier of a thin figure peering around a rock with bow in hand. Of the shocked yell that had given Legend just enough warning to get him and Four out of the blast radius.

‘Link. Don’t run,’ he pleaded.

It was a mistake.

Legend saw Link’s posture tense. In an instant, the teenager was on his feet, rushing off with one arm dangling limply at his side.

Legend swore softly.

Hyrule swore loudly.

‘Everyone. I need to treat Legend,’ the latter said rapidly. ‘Sky, I need your help. Four, don’t you dare move. You lot –’ he glared at the remaining heroes and concluded in a chilling tone ‘– run him down.’

Twilight was already gone, and Wind had followed shortly after. Only Time and Warriors were left to exchange perturbed glances at Hyrule’s instructions.

‘You heard me,’ Hyrule stated, and the two evidently decided not to argue. Legend gave a sarcastic wave as they went to give chase to the fleeing hero. He turned back to Hyrule with an affectionate grin as his successor narrowed his eyes in determined focus.

Truly, Legend adored that kid.

Twilight couldn’t deny the twinge of guilt he felt in running after the teenager as if hunting down an animal, but any time he considered stopping, his eyes flew to Link’s injured arm and to the unsteady motion of his chest. They had barely started running, but the young hero was clearly struggling to draw breath.

‘Please, slow down,’ he begged. At this point, Twilight was less worried about losing sight of Link than he was of Link collapsing from the strain.

He needn’t have worried. If anything, Link seemed to be shaking off his frailty as he ran. Twilight followed him towards the edge of a cliff, and for a moment he thought that would be it, before Link brandished his strange, rectangular block, produced a small blue object and lobbed it at the trees.

The unusual bomb detonated cleanly and the closest tree snapped like a twig. Link’s stride didn’t hesitate for a moment as he sprung onto the thin, still rolling trunk and dashed across the chasm.

Twilight gulped. That did not look safe.

But Link was getting away, and Twilight had surely taken more foolish risks with his own life. Heart pounding, he followed the teen over the makeshift bridge, making it across just in time to see Wind join him, easily sailing over the gap with the help of some kind of giant leaf. Twilight gave him a dirty look before remembering that they lacked the time to compare inventories.

The path narrowed around a fallen boulder and Twilight tried not to think about the sheer drop to his left. As soon as he cleared the obstacle, a sword in his face proved sufficient distraction.

Tall cliffs on two sides and a deadly fall to a third formed a dead end behind Link’s back, but there was only angry determination in his gaze as he pushed the two heroes back with the point of a long, thin sabre.

‘Stay the hell away from me,’ he hissed.

Twilight raised his empty hands placatingly. ‘Hey, it’s ok. I’m not trying to hurt you. I promise.’

‘I don’t give a shit. Leave me alone.’

‘I can’t do that, Link. You’re injured,’ Twilight pleaded. ‘Let me help you. Please. If you need to run off after that, fine.’

Link snorted. ‘Nice trick. So, if I can run through your little plan for you: grab the skittish wildchild, treat his wounds and buy some time, and then when things are all calmed down, you’ll give me the spiel about being a bunch of legendary heroes on some goddess-ordained time-travelling quest?’

Twilight’s blood ran cold and Wind gave a gasp. ‘You… you know who we are?’

‘You talk loudly. Sometimes, I listen. Pity that. But there’s something very important you’ve misunderstood.’

‘…And what is that?’ Twilight asked.

‘Link this, Link that,’ he said. ‘You keep calling me by the name of the hero as if you have any idea who I am.’ Exhaustion clouded his voice. ‘I’m not a hero. If a hero ever existed in this era, then he failed and died one hundred years ago. I’m not him.’

‘But you are!’ Wind cried suddenly. ‘You are a hero.’ He gestured back the way they came. ‘Even just now: you saved Legend and Four! That arrow you shot was so cool!’

‘Anyone can shoot an arrow. It doesn’t have to be me.’

‘But it was you,’ Time said. Twilight jumped; he hadn’t even noticed his mentor’s approach. Warriors stood at his side, looking over at the cornered teen with an expression of deep sympathy.

‘It was you,’ Time repeated. ‘You were there, you saw what needed to be done and you didn’t hesitate. That’s what makes you a hero.’

Link flinched as if the words had physically hurt him. ‘You don’t know a damned thing,’ he growled back.

‘We don’t,’ Warriors agreed. ‘But we can, if you’ll let us. Please, Link.’

The point of the sword wavered. ‘I’m not who you want,’ Link said quietly. ‘I’m not. I can’t be.’

‘Link…’ Time took a cautious step forward and Link instantly swung the sword in his direction.

‘I said stay back!’ he yelled.

‘Alright,’ Time replied. ‘Everyone, give Link some space.’ The group took a few steps back, to Link’s evident surprise. ‘It’s alright, Link,’ he added gently. ‘We’re really not here to hurt you.’

Link hesitated. In a low voice, he said, ‘A few more steps.’

Twilight and Time immediately complied. The others swiftly followed.

Link slowly straightened from his crouch. The weapon in his hand disappeared in a burst of sparks, but he held his empty hand out in a clear signal to maintain their distance.

The silence stretched on while Twilight tried his best not to fidget. Link gazed off to one side in deep contemplation, eventually shaking his head with a sigh and a sad smile.

‘It really is a pity,’ he said quietly. ‘If I was the hero, then I think we could have been good friends.’

It was all the notice they received before Link flipped upwards, kicked off the cliff behind him and in the space of a breath, dropped an unpleasantly familiar round object followed by a less familiar box-shaped one.

‘Cheers,’ Link said as he detonated the first bomb.

The explosion rocked the small area and four heroes cried out in alarm as rocks tumbled and fell dangerously close to where they stood. When the dust cleared, Twilight was treated to the sight, high up above, of a recently concussed teenager gripping the edge of the cliff with his one uninjured arm. Said teenager glanced down, muttered something under his breath and then clumsily hoisted himself up and out of view.

Some days, Twilight really hated his excellent hearing. That mutter had sure sounded a lot like, ‘And don’t antagonise the lynel next time, you dumb fucks.’

He exhaled. ‘We lost him. Again.’

‘I can see that,’ Time said tersely. The two of them turned back to face the others, and frowned as they saw Wind lurking at the back of the group, gripping his bomb bag with a speculative expression. He jumped when he realised that they were watching, and a sheepish expression stole across his face. In his smoothest, most reasonable-sounding tone, Wind explained, ‘I mean, I’ve never tried a manoeuvre like that before, but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t work. Do you think we’d be able to catch up if we –?’

‘No,’ said Warriors flatly.

‘Absolutely not,’ Twilight agreed.

‘Over my cold, dead, decaying, maggot-infested body,’ Time finished.

Wind pouted. ‘You’re no fun,’ he told them.

Chapter Text

Link had, upon reflection, made several bad decisions lately.

Running from his post-Calamity Hyrule-rebuilding duties to go gallivanting in the wild? Not his most valiant move. Getting mixed up with a group of time-travelling heroes, one of which he may or may not have panicked and thrown a bunch of bananas at? Regrettable. Getting the shit kicked out of him by an overpowered bokoblin, teleporting with a broken slate, overstretching his sprained arm by shooting several arrows at a lynel and then wind bombing up two cliffs in a row and fighting a camp of monsters with one hand while recovering from a head injury? That one probably took the cake, but, in his defence: their fire was now his fire and it beat stomping through the frigid snowscape of Mount Hylia in search of a better place to rest.

He’d gone in with the good intentions of cooking up some lunch to recover his energy, but somewhere during the awkward one-handed process of threading meat onto skewers, his head had started to bob. He shook himself awake. Mere minutes later, his eyelids grew heavy once more and he barely snapped himself out of it in time. The third time it happened, Link bolted upright with two key realisations: first, that significantly more time had passed than during his previous micro naps, and second, that he was no longer alone.

Moving slowly and cautiously, Link turned his gaze to the person seated at the opposite side of the fire, who was, seemingly, nonchalantly cooking a lunch of their own. The stranger wore a dark cloak that covered their face and much of their body. All Link could see were a few hints of a slim figure with a long dagger clipped to their belt.

Though he’d made no sound, their gaze quickly turned to him. ‘You’re awake?’ they asked in a shockingly familiar voice. ‘My apologies for the intrusion: I saw your fire and wanted to ask if I could share it with you, but you were sleeping and I didn’t want to disturb you.’

Link swallowed hard. His own face peered back at him from beneath the hood. Golden blonde locks and mildly tanned skin had been replaced with shades of ashen grey, and bright red eyes burned in place of his own azure irises, but if not for those small differences, they could have been twins.

‘You don’t mind if I stay a little longer, do you?’ his doppelgänger was asking. ‘Just to warm up a little before I move on?’

Link ran a quick inventory: his right arm was still not working at all, his left was trembly and weak, his head ached, and, unless he had accidentally cloned himself without noticing, there was a not-insignificant chance that he was hallucinating. Still, his legs seemed to be functioning normally and he was closer to the path than the other Link. He could get away if he needed to. ‘Stay as long as you want,’ he replied.

‘Thank you,’ the other Link replied graciously. ‘I can share some lunch if you’d like? I’d hate to leave a debt unpaid.’ He held out the skewered fish he had been roasting over the fire.

Link hesitated, but ultimately accepted the offering. It was common enough on the road for travellers to share food to clear small debts, and he’d been on the receiving end often enough.

The scent of roasted fish was heavenly in the chill air, and as Link took a bite he suddenly realised just how hungry he was. He did his best to act vaguely civilised as he ate, but the slight smile that greeted him suggested that his conduct didn’t quite clear that bar.

‘Would you like another one?’ his companion asked.

Link chuckled. ‘Keep it – I wouldn’t want to steal your catch,’ he replied. ‘Though if you don’t mind, I might do some cooking of my own.’

Red eyes shifted sceptically to Link’s injured arm. ‘Well then, how about if you share your ingredients with me and I handle the cooking?’

Link tensed. ‘I can do it.’

‘You’d be doing me a favour,’ was the easy reply. His double pointed towards the ingredients Link had started to pull together before falling asleep: meat, mushrooms, peppers and even a few apples. ‘Looks like you came here much more prepared than I did. I wouldn’t mind eating more than fish.’

‘Oh!’ Link relaxed as he recognised his misunderstanding for what it was. ‘In that case, sure – help yourself.’ He produced a few additional items from his slate and laid them out before his surprised doppelgänger.

‘That must be useful,’ the other Link commented as he got to work. ‘Can I ask where you got it?’

‘A hand me down, I suppose. It’s one of a kind as far as I know, though last I knew the Sheikah were looking into ways to replicate it. I’m not sure where they got to.’

‘Pity. By the way, what are these for?’ The other Link brandished the bunch of mighty bananas with a dubious glance.

‘Not a fan?’

‘Of roasting bananas over a campfire? Sounds like a good way to make a mess.’

‘Very true,’ Link allowed. ‘Can I ask a question too?’

‘Only fair.’

He ran through his status one more time before speaking. Sprained arm, concussion, not in great fighting condition but in positive news the hallucination theory was starting to look less likely. Legs still fine, path still close: he could run if he needed to.

‘So, you’re not a Yiga, you’re clearly not from this place and you also weren’t part of the group of travellers I met earlier,’ Link stated. ‘Who are you and why do you look exactly like me?’

The stranger gave a startled laugh. ‘Asking the big questions, I see. Well… if you say I look like you, I’ll have to take your word for it. I’ve never seen it for myself.’

Before Link had time to really parse that strange statement, the traveller reached into his pouch and drew out a hand mirror, tilting it towards his face. Link’s eyes widened with surprise: the glass reflected the cliffs behind and the blue sky above with nothing in between.

That… probably wasn’t good.

‘Are you a spirit, then?’ he asked hesitantly. Goddess, of all the weird things he’d seen the past few days, he hadn’t been prepared to meet a dead version of himself…

‘More of a reflection,’ the other replied. ‘I look like you because I don’t have an appearance of my own.’

‘Oh,’ Link said faintly. This was definitely approaching weird territory.

(Sprained arm, concussion, feeling a little dizzy, possible hallucinations, not in great fighting shape, but his legs were working, he could –)

‘Those travellers you mention,’ the other Link continued, ‘You didn’t name them, but I can guess who you mean. I’m not part of their group, but I did arrive at the same time they did.’

‘I didn’t see you,’ Link said.

‘I’m easy to miss,’ was the response. He gave Link an appraising look. ‘We have that in common, I believe. I did think I saw something in the trees at the time, but I wasn’t sure.’ He shifted his gaze back to the fire, turning the skewers to cook evenly and thus giving Link a moment to reckon with the panicked realisation of his conversation partner’s superior stealth.

He needed that moment. Goddess, his nerves were all over the place lately, and this was not helping…

‘Do you have a hero title then?’ he heard himself ask in a surprisingly normal-sounding tone.

A slight frown crossed the other Link’s face. ‘Technically yes, though it’s not a very flattering one. Call me the Hero of Darkness, if you like. Dark Link is the name I’m most used to.’

‘Ominous,’ Link commented lightly.

‘Well, there’s a story behind it. But perhaps a story for another day.’

Link could understand that. It was probably best that the famed Hylian Champion was presumed long dead by most; he could only imagine what his own “hero title” might be if anyone deigned to give him one.

‘I could call you something else if you’d prefer?’ Link offered, but the “reflection” shook his head.

‘You may as well use the name I’ve grown familiar with. It is what it is,’ Dark Link replied. He carefully plucked a skewer from the fire and poked at it with his knife. Satisfied with what he found, Dark Link dropped two other skewers onto a plate and handed it to Link.

‘Looks good,’ he complimented. ‘Thank you.’

Dark Link gave a small smile. ‘Taste it before you thank me.’

‘Don’t mind if I do, then,’ Link replied.

The cool air quickly brought the skewer down from “unmanageably hot” to “pleasantly toasty”, and Link took a cautious bite. His eyes widened: though he wasn’t particularly fussy about what he ate, Link certainly appreciated good food. The skewers were tender and juicy, with just the slightest hint of char. Although the meal was simple enough in its construction, it was the best thing Link had tasted in days.

‘Great work,’ he reported with a smile.

‘Great ingredients,’ Dark Link returned.

‘I could give you some more, if you need them?’ Link offered. ‘There’s plenty of good hunting ground nearby, but no actual merchants for a bit of a trek.’

‘Ah. You’re very generous,’ Dark Link replied, ‘but I wouldn’t want to impose. In fact, I was already planning to ask for a favour, if you wouldn’t mind…’

‘What is it?’ Link asked. ‘I’m happy to give directions if you need them.’

Dark Link shook his head. ‘Nothing like that. Actually, it’s about the travellers you mention.’

Link tensed slightly. ‘What about them?’

‘Well, we were companions at one point, but as I said, I’m not travelling with them now. In fact, it would be… rather bad for me if they were to learn of my presence here. But even though we had a bit of a falling out, I do still worry about them at times. So, I’m wondering if you could tell me a bit about them.’

‘Couldn’t you check on them yourself?’ Link asked curiously. ‘You said yourself that you were good at hiding. I didn’t even see you that time, and you managed to see me.’

‘My abilities are limited,’ Dark Link replied. ‘You might recall there was a puddle in the clearing at that time: I’m able to hide wherever there is a reflective surface, though not for long and always with a risk of being caught by those who know to look. What’s more, I have a limited field of view, and I can’t hear at all while I’m hiding like that.’

Link felt a knot loosen in his chest. ‘I see.’

Dark Link’s lips curved up. ‘You seem relieved.’ Link flinched, and Dark Link quickly reassured him, ‘Don’t worry, I understand. I should have realised earlier. My intent was not to frighten you.’

‘I wasn’t frightened,’ Link insisted. He took a fierce bite of his skewer and ignored the sceptical look that was thrown his way.

‘Getting back to the point, then,’ Dark Link indulged, ‘if you’re willing to share information with me, I’d be most grateful. And I don’t expect it for free, of course.’

‘Oh! No, that’s… that’s fine,’ Link stammered. ‘If it’s just information –’

Dark Link shook his head. ‘I insist.’ He reached into his pouch again and drew out a bottle filled with ruby liquid. ‘Here,’ he said. ‘A healing potion. That arm of yours looks rather painful.’

‘It’s not so bad,’ Link replied quickly. It wasn’t a lie, by his standards at least. ‘I really don’t mind sharing a little information. It won’t be much anyway; I barely even met those travellers.’

‘It’s information I can’t get on my own,’ Dark Link pointed out. ‘Don’t devalue it so easily. In any case, potions are something I can readily obtain from time to time, so I don’t mind sparing one. If I ask my questions and you find you can’t answer them, then throw in some of those ingredients of yours and we can call it even.’

Link shrugged awkwardly. The words were reasonable, though the offer still seemed unequal; were potions really such a basic commodity for the other party? ‘If you insist, I suppose. Though I warn you: I may disappoint.’

‘I’ll start with a simple one, then,’ Dark Link said. ‘Which heroes came through the latest portal? I couldn’t see clearly from where I was.’

That was a simple question, Link realised with some relief. ‘There were eight of them – plus you, I suppose,’ he replied. ‘The ones I saw were Time, Legend, Hyrule, Twilight, Wind, Four, Sky and Warriors.’

‘Ah. Everyone accounted for, then. That’s good to know,’ Dark Link said with a smile. ‘And was everyone alright? No injuries or illnesses?’

Link thought back. ‘No illnesses as far as I could tell, but a few injuries did happen. There were a couple of fights – one last night with a camp of bokoblins, one today with a lynel.’ He grimaced, thinking of his own clumsy involvement. ‘Legend was hurt today – a bomb arrow, though it didn’t hit directly. He caught the worst of it, but Four would also have been in the blast zone. Both of them were conscious and able to speak when I left. I couldn’t tell much more than that, but I don’t think they were hurt too badly. Last night was worse, I think: Twilight and Four were both hurt, and a few others had minor injuries. But the two of them seemed fine today, so they must have had plenty of spare elixirs.’

‘Perhaps,’ Dark Link mused. ‘Or perhaps one of their group has healing magic.’

‘Healing magic?’ Link repeated. ‘That could be it, now that you mention it… I only know of one other who had been blessed with that skill, but I’ve heard that magic used to be more common, long ago.’

‘That’s my understanding as well. I know that at least a few of the heroes possess some form of magic, though I don’t think any of them showed that particular skill while I was with them,’ Dark Link said. ‘I wonder who the healer might be?’

‘Well, if I had to guess…’ Link thought to himself. ‘Hyrule seems to be the main one in charge of caring for injuries. At least, he was the one who was helping me out when –’ a sudden surge of guilt ran through him ‘– when I was injured last night. He helped Four out as well, now that I think of it, and he was the first to approach Legend after today’s fight.’ He finished speaking and stared down at his plate. Half a skewer remained, but he’d lost his appetite.

There was no reason for him to feel guilty, he told himself. He’d been well within his rights to leave the previous night. He didn’t owe anything to the Hero of Hyrule, short of an apology and a replacement elixir (which he’d handled, damn it). More importantly, Hyrule didn’t owe him anything. So, as he’d said, there was no point in lingering. He could take care of himself well enough. Hadn’t he already proven that fact countless times already? He would be fine. He was fine.

‘Link, you are not fine,’ Hyrule had told him in that special voice people sometimes got when they were doing their best not to openly call him an idiot. ‘You need to rest, and you need to let me do my work to take care of you.’

A memory stirred idly.

After the Calamity, Link had continued his work to clear the realm of monsters, since they would no longer (should no longer) revive with every blood moon. Zelda had once caught him on his way back home, stumbling through Hateno Village thoroughly bloodied from a lizalfos ambush.

She’d had far more questions than he could be bothered dealing with in his state. He’d slammed the door on her and locked it. The next thing he’d known, the esteemed princess of Hyrule was politely inviting herself in with the help of an axe and the two founding members of the Bolson Construction Company.

And she called his methods extreme.

(On the plus side, they’d been kind enough to replace his door when they were done. Even fixed the annoying squeaky hinges. Bolson was thorough, that was for sure.)

‘Why do you do this to yourself?’ Zelda had asked.

Why indeed?

‘Is something wrong?’ Dark Link asked.

Link snapped back to the present. ‘No… nothing. I was just thinking.’

‘About?’

‘Well, about…. hmm… how to say it…’ He paused. ‘I suppose those people really are heroes, aren’t they?’

‘So the stories say,’ Dark Link stated. He cocked his head curiously. ‘What’s your impression of them?’

‘Exactly that. They’re legends in the flesh. Almost too impressive to be real,’ Link said wistfully. ‘If someone like that existed in this world at the time of the Calamity… well, things here would have worked out differently, that’s for sure.

‘Among that group, the ones I know the most about are Hyrule, Legend and Twilight. I’ll start with Hyrule, I suppose. I mentioned this earlier, but I got injured yesterday, and he was the one who helped me out. I don’t know for sure if he has healing magic, but he does remind me a lot of the person I knew who did. I don’t remember her as well as I’d like, but she’s a legend of her own to the Zora. Much more of a legend than I ever was. They revere both her strength and her kindness – her strength that comes from her kindness. The two were not separable in Mipha’s case. I think that Hyrule is the same.

‘Then there’s Legend. He’s… impressive. He really lives up to his title. The thing that stood out to me the most was his sense of duty, as if being a hero wasn’t just something he stumbled into and did his best with, but rather an oath that he committed his whole existence to. He has a strong sense of justice, and he holds himself and others up to high standards.’ Link laughed with sudden realisation. ‘Actually, now that I think about it: he reminds me of another person I used to know. Same level of commitment. Same abrasive personality.’ His smile faded. ‘Same distaste for the weak.’

Revali had accepted him in the end, failures and weaknesses and all. Perhaps he’d had no choice but to pin his hopes on the last surviving remnant of the five champions of pre-Calamity Hyrule. Perhaps a century of captivity was bound to change anyone’s perspective on life. Perhaps, in the end, Link had finally done something worthy of his grudging respect. He would never know for sure: Revali’s spirit had departed once his mission was complete, taking with it the answers to every question Link had lacked the courage to ask.

He continued, ‘If Hyrule is kindness and Legend is duty, I suppose the impression I get from Twilight is… gentleness. It’s strange: on face value, he doesn’t seem suited to be a hero at all. I could see someone like him working in the fields or in the stables, but it’s harder to imagine him fighting monsters.’ Link cringed slightly as his own words caught up to him. ‘Obviously he can, though,’ he added. ‘I lost consciousness during the battle last night, so I couldn’t see what happened, but apparently, he was the one who fought hardest to defend me. I wouldn’t have minded seeing that.

‘Actually, the reason why I got hurt… it’s pretty stupid now that I think back on it, but at the time, I saw that Twilight was injured and that Time was struggling to hold back the enemy. I wasn’t thinking clearly, obviously, and I just instinctively rushed in and tried to help. But then he ended up being the one defending me. It’s pretty clear that I misjudged him. He’s probably a lot more powerful than I’d thought. So I think that maybe in the same way that Mipha turned kindness into her strength, Twilight’s own strength is something very gentle. That’s the impression I get.’

If he’d been able to get to know them better, perhaps he’d know for sure. If he hadn’t been so damn afraid –

‘And the others?’ Dark Link prompted when he paused.

‘I couldn’t really say,’ Link replied apologetically. ‘I, uh, didn’t really spend much time around them. I do know that Time seems to be the leader. Twilight and Warriors were maybe second and third in command? I’m not sure about Four or Sky. Then there’s the child… who is apparently a hero as well.’ He scowled. ‘I don’t know. I get the sense that I started my own training young as well, but I was at least fourteen or fifteen years old before I ended up in my first real life-or-death battle. Wind looks to be about twelve, and he’s already a hero, apparently. I think I even remember hearing about the Hero of Wind at some point… I live with someone who loves to read old history of the kingdom, and she’s shared some of her books with me. I just didn’t realise he would be so young.’

‘He is young,’ Dark Link agreed. ‘And so were you, from the sounds of things.’

Link froze as he realised that he’d revealed himself through his ramblings. How did he become so comfortable as to make such an obvious mistake?

But Dark Link seemed unsurprised. Perhaps Link had already slipped up earlier without noticing, or perhaps it had been obvious from the start. He drew in a shaky breath and forced himself to relax; there was no point overreacting at that late stage. ‘That’s about all I can tell you,’ he admitted. ‘Sorry. I know it’s not much.’

Dark Link shook his head. ‘Not at all – you’ve been very helpful. It’s a weight off my shoulders to know that my old friends are doing well these days.’ He held out the red potion. ‘Here. You’ve earned this fair and square.’

‘Really?’ Link asked uncertainly. ‘I don’t think I really ended up telling you much.’

‘On the contrary: I’m in your debt. Truly, I am. Thank you for trusting me and sharing your thoughts so openly.’ Dark Link stepped closer and pressed the bottle insistently into his left hand, pausing for a moment before sitting back down with a serious expression on his face. ‘Some advice then, perhaps, to even the score,’ he said. ‘It’s the least I can do.’

‘Advice?’

Dark Link nodded slowly and explained, ‘Those heroes have been sent through time on a mission from the Goddess Hylia. Once they’ve finished their task in this world, they will be drawn to the next – not of their own volition, but due to the Goddess herself forcing them on their way.

‘They still know little of the reasons for their quest. Though they have come to recognise the Goddess’ involvement, she has yet to make her will clear to them. They know only of a few odd, unexplained events here and there, and of the appearance of monsters empowered by black blood. They don’t know why these new monsters have appeared, why their appearance is sprinkled across the ages or even the rhyme and reason behind when each portal opens. They follow the Goddess’ orders blindly, hoping that all will make sense in the end.

‘You should know that if you join them now, you’ll be forced along the same path. You will leave this place, and you will be unable to return until Hylia herself wills it.

‘I will be blunt,’ Dark Link warned him, ‘I do not think you are well suited to such a mission.’ His stern expression softened. ‘It is a dangerous journey, and there is no room for hesitation… or for failure.’

Link flinched and looked away, fingers curling around the cold glass of the potion bottle.

‘Please believe that I say this with your best interests at heart: if you do not know deep in your soul that you stand beside them as an equal, then in the end, you will be nothing but a burden. You will put not only your own life in danger, but theirs as well. Think hard before you make that decision. That is the best advice I can give you here.’

Link nodded silently. Of course, he understood.

Dark Link drew back with a sigh. ‘Forgive me,’ he said. ‘I know it isn’t a call you would make lightly. My words were overly harsh.’

‘They weren’t,’ Link disagreed in a low voice. ‘It’s nothing I didn’t already know.’ In a louder voice, he added, ‘Besides, I have my own tasks to keep me busy. As soon as my arm is healed enough to get down from here, I’ll be heading north to Hyrule Castle.’

His original plan had been Hateno, but if he was travelling on foot then the castle was closer. His broken slate and his overdue conversation with Zelda could wait; discerning the truth behind the Blood Moon’s reappearance was more important. Even if he wasn’t some kind of legendary hero like the other Links, he could manage that much.

‘I see,’ Dark Link replied. ‘I’d best be going as well. Just as you do, I have tasks of my own. Though I’ve very much enjoyed our conversation.’

‘Oh! Then are you sure you don’t need anything else to cook with?’ Link asked. ‘I have plenty to spare.’

Dark Link chuckled. ‘You’re an odd one, aren’t you? Surely, you know you don’t owe me anything like that? And to be honest, I don’t really need much of anything where I’m going. Well, except perhaps for one more favour.’

‘And that is?’

‘Your name, traveller. I can guess, but I’d prefer to hear it from your own lips,’ Dark Link said. ‘You can always provide your hero title instead, of course. If we were to meet again at some point, I’d like to know what to call you.’

Link hesitated. ‘Just Link,’ he replied eventually. ‘I don’t… I don’t have a hero title, as such. Nothing as lofty as that. If things change by the next time we meet, I’ll let you know.’

‘“Just Link” it is, then,’ the Hero of Darkness replied with a cheeky smile. ‘Well then, Just Link, I’ll be on my way. May we meet again someday.’

He lifted himself up from the old log and began to walk downhill towards the river. Link watched with curiosity that swiftly turned to alarm as the Hero of Darkness walked right up to the ledge that overlooked the frigid stream and stepped over. In the time it took to rush over to see what had happened, Dark Link had vanished entirely, leaving no signs as to his passage. Link hovered there, looking down into the swirling currents until the last of the fire’s warmth faded and the shivers threatened to overwhelm him. He beat a sudden and swift retreat.

The bottle of ruby liquid was still lying next to the log he’d been sitting on. It looked a little different to the murky hearty elixirs he was used to, but he couldn’t argue with the results: even after a few small mouthfuls, his headache and the throbbing of his sprained arm both began to ease. By the time he’d finished the bottle, his right arm had regained some semblance of function. It was still deeply stiff and would need a combination of quality rest and careful stretching before trying to glide off the Great Plateau, but it was a good start.

‘A day or two at most,’ he told himself.

It was all the time he could spare.

Chapter Text

‘Hey Legend,’ said Hyrule. ‘Remember how you always tell me not to exhaust myself by overusing my magic?’

‘Sure do,’ Legend agreed.

‘Out of curiosity, why are you so exhausted right now?’ Hyrule asked.

Obediently, Legend replied, ‘Because I used too much magic.’

‘Oh, good. That’s good. Self-awareness is very good,’ Hyrule said idly.

Neither of them spoke for a long moment. Hyrule continued to pump glowing energy into Legend’s burns and scrapes until he shifted awkwardly and said, ‘Speaking of which, don’t you think you’re using a little too much –?’

‘Yeah?! Well, try not getting exploded next time,’ Hyrule snapped.

‘It was only a small explosion,’ Legend muttered.

Four watched Hyrule’s eyes flash with anger and decided it was time to intervene. ‘Hey! All this was my fault, remember? Get angry at me.’

‘You can wait your turn,’ Hyrule said tightly.

‘It’s his turn anyway,’ Legend said. ‘For a check-up, I mean. I’m really ok, Hyrule. Promise. A few scrapes won’t kill me, and you need to stop straining yourself. You were already pushing your limits last night, and you’ve barely had time to recover.’

‘I’m fine!’ Hyrule protested. ‘I can still –’

‘No,’ Legend said firmly. He gently pushed Hyrule’s arms away and turned his gaze to Sky. ‘So, what’s the verdict on short-stuff over there?’

‘I’m not injured. Just a little tired,’ Four replied.

‘Sky, how’s Four?’ Hyrule asked pointedly.

‘No, he’s telling the truth,’ Sky assured them. ‘At least from what I can tell. Legend took the brunt of the explosion, and whatever damage Four took when he was in… in that other form… doesn’t seem to have carried over.’

‘It won’t,’ said Four. ‘Those bodies are created with magic and they only exist while I’m split. So long as I’m able to merge at the end of it, all of the damage disappears.’

‘So, if you weren’t able to merge…’ Legend mused.

Four shuddered. ‘That would be bad. We merged again pretty quickly this time, so there really shouldn’t be any lingering effects. Staying split for long periods can be pretty physically demanding. If we weren’t – if I wasn’t able to merge at all at the end of it… well, it’s a good thing that didn’t happen.’

Legend eyed him curiously, and Four braced himself for the questions to start. Instead, he merely turned to Sky and asked, ‘Can you grab my bag for me? I’m pretty sure I still have a spare green potion with Hyrule’s name on it.’

‘We have the same name,’ Hyrule retorted. ‘Save it for yourself.’

‘How about we split it, then?’ Legend suggested calmly as he accepted the leather satchel from Sky. He found the bottle, took a swig and then handed it to Hyrule. ‘Here – you drink the other half.’

Hyrule eyed the bottle with disgust. ‘Wow, Legend, that “other half” sure looks a lot like three quarters.’

Legend scowled. ‘Yeah, well, you’re a growing boy and I’m a withering adult,’ he replied, but took another few small gulps regardless, checking the level each time. ‘Happy?’

‘You’re only a few years older, you geriatric mother cucco,’ Hyrule grumbled as he accepted the bottle. Legend supervised with a hawk-like gaze, visibly relaxing as a little colour returned to the younger hero’s cheeks.

‘Were those all the questions you had?’ Four asked eventually. ‘I thought I was going to get grilled.’

‘Save it for when everyone arrives back,’ Legend replied. ‘Or don’t. You don’t owe anyone access to your secrets.’

‘Weren’t you the one who wanted “a damn good excuse”?’

‘Don’t pay too much attention to what past-Legend said. He’s a jerk who doesn’t think things through. Wait half an hour or so and see if post-incident-apology-Legend shows up.’

Four snorted. ‘Good advice. But I do think I owe you all an explanation this time. And honestly… I think it’ll help me if everyone knows.’

‘Up to you,’ said Legend. ‘I think I can see them coming back now.’

‘Is the new Link with them?’ Hyrule asked suddenly, head craning towards the returning heroes.

‘Hmm…’ said Sky. ‘I don’t think so.’

He wasn’t.

The heroes that returned were a beaming Wind, a scowling Warriors, a frazzled Time and a dispirited Twilight.

‘We lost him,’ Time announced. ‘Are you all alright?’

‘Lost him how?’ Four asked. ‘Did he teleport again?’

The four of them exchanged surprised glances. ‘Now that you mention it: no, he didn’t teleport,’ Twilight mused. ‘I wonder why?’

‘Maybe he couldn’t?’ Warriors suggested. ‘Maybe whatever he did before was a one use thing.’

‘Or maybe you need to be in a particular area for it to work?’ Sky proposed.

‘Well, either way,’ said Time, ‘he didn’t teleport.’

‘So, he outran you then,’ Legend concluded with a sigh. ‘Damn kid’s way too fast on his feet. Sorry I couldn’t help out.’

‘Oh, erm, he didn’t outrun us exactly,’ Warriors said. ‘Actually, we backed him up into a dead end. He didn’t want us coming close, but we managed to talk to him for a bit.’ A shadow passed over his expression. ‘Seems he already knows a bit about us. He, uhh, mentioned that he’d been eavesdropping. He already knows that we’re all Links from different eras and that we’re on a quest from the Goddess. He… wasn’t particularly excited about the idea of joining us. Said a lot of stuff about not being the hero… even mentioned something strange about the hero dying a hundred years ago. But that’s much too soon, surely…’ Warriors trailed off.

‘How were his injuries?’ Sky asked.

‘Not great,’ Twilight replied fretfully. ‘He seemed more or less steady on his feet, but he was breathing pretty heavily and his right arm didn’t look to be working at all. Looks like he bandaged himself up a bit at least.’

‘Wonderful,’ Legend deadpanned. ‘So how did he get away then? He didn’t teleport, he was backed into a corner, and he had only one functional arm. Don’t tell me he chucked bananas in your face again or something.’

Twilight, Time and Warriors all looked at each other with reluctant expressions, as if drawing psychic straws over news Four could tell they weren’t going to like.

Wind beat them to it. ‘He blew himself up,’ the youngest hero revealed excitedly.

Hyrule blinked. ‘I’m sorry. What?’

A long moment of appalled silence stretched onwards. Wind finally seemed to realise that his words had been poorly selected, and clarified, ‘Up as in the direction, I mean, not up as in into pieces. But yeah, he used bombs to blast himself up a cliff. Even pulled himself up over the edge with one hand like a badass.’

‘And I reiterate,’ Hyrule said. ‘What?’

Four turned to Time in search of some sanity, only to find the older hero already muttering to himself, ‘This is penance for using the blast mask so many times, isn’t it? All the sins of my youth come back to me in the end. I should have known. I should have known.’

Clearly, there were no answers to be had there. Four turned to Twilight instead. ‘Can you translate this one for us?’

‘Believe it or not, that is actually what happened,’ Twilight confirmed regretfully. ‘Though… well…’ He shrugged helplessly. ‘It was a rather skilful move. Practiced, even. The cliff took more damage than he did. I don’t know if this makes things better or worse, but it looked like he’d pulled that trick plenty of times in the past.’

‘Worse,’ Warriors said decisively. ‘It definitely makes it worse.’

‘All my sins. All coming back to haunt me,’ Time mumbled.

‘Eh. He looked fine,’ Wind said with a shrug. ‘But unfortunately, the path there was a dead end, so unless we pull the same trick –’

‘– Which we will not be doing,’ Warriors cut in.

‘– Then we’ll need to find some other way around,’ Wind concluded. ‘So, anyway, how are Legend and Four?’

‘They’ll survive,’ Hyrule answered. ‘Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go and scream into the void for a bit.’

‘Is this a literal or figurative scream into the void?’ Twilight asked.

‘Literal,’ Hyrule confirmed. ‘Would you like to join me?’

‘Yes please,’ said Twilight.

‘I would also like to participate,’ said Time.

‘Erm. Alright,’ Sky said with a rather perturbed expression. ‘Why don’t we all take a break, then? And you can join us once you’re done?’

Hyrule nodded and picked himself up off the ground, only a little shaky from exertion. The three heroes wandered over to the conveniently placed chasm nearby.

‘There’s a hut right over there that looks to be long abandoned,’ Warriors stated to those who remained. ‘We passed it on our way back. Might be a bit more comfortable than sitting around here. Also looks like there’s a fire pit we could use for cooking if we want to.’

‘Dibs,’ said Legend. ‘I suspect we’ll be here for a while. Might as well make use of Hyrule’s absence to prepare some actual food.’

‘You know, you could just say “no” when he asks if he can help,’ Warriors pointed out.

Legend scoffed. ‘Have you ever even seen those puppy dog eyes of his? I’m not made of stone. Hey, what kind of supplies do we have, anyway?’

Whatever Warriors was about to respond with was cut off by an echoing scream from said puppy-dog-eyed-hero: ‘I’M AT MY FUCKING LIMIT WITH THESE FOOLS, WHY CAN’T THEY JUST BE NORMAL?!’

‘Huh,’ said Sky. ‘See, I know he said it was a literal scream into the void, but somehow, I still… Hmm.’

‘My successor has quite the set of lungs on him, doesn’t he?’ Legend bragged. Warriors rolled his eyes.

What Twilight lacked in volume, he made up for in the fact that the conveniently placed chasm was placed inconveniently close to the rest of their group. ‘Damn it, kid!’ he yelled. ‘You have a concussion and a sprained arm and you need an adult and I will adopt you myself if I have to.’

‘So anyway, Wars,’ said Wind. ‘Can I have my bomb bag back now?’

‘Absolutely not.’

They all jolted as a wordless, ear-splitting wail resounded through the air, stretching on for nearly twenty seconds before reaching its conclusion.

‘Gibdo mask,’ a pale-faced Warriors remarked. ‘It’s used to blend in and communicate with the undead. I forgot the old man had that.’

‘Using items is cheating,’ Legend said sourly.

‘It’s… not a competition?’ a hesitant Sky put forward.

Wind suddenly piped up, ‘Oh, that reminds me, actually! Hey, Wars, speaking of masks: Time said something earlier about a “blast mask”. Do you know what that is?’

‘Oh! Uh, no. I don’t. No idea,’ Warriors said hastily. ‘In any case, we should get moving. C’mon everyone, let’s go sort out lunch. Legend, do you need help getting over there?’

‘Nah, I think I’m good,’ Legend replied, lifting himself up with a grunt of effort.

‘Hey, don’t dodge the question,’ Wind protested. ‘I wanna know.’

‘Uhh… well, it’s a question for Time, not for me, right?’ Warriors stammered.

‘Coward,’ Legend murmured. Warriors shot him a dirty look, but did not argue.

They made their way over to the hut, conducted a brief scan of the interior and then got to work on lunch. To his credit, Legend was a remarkably capable chef in the (rare) absence of interference. By the time the others returned, looking thoroughly sated from their screaming match with the void, he’d managed to pull together a dish of fried potatoes, onions and vegetables along with some slices of the salted boar meat from Twilight’s hunt the previous day.

‘You good?’ Legend asked Hyrule as he plated up a generous serving for the younger hero.

‘I’m good,’ Hyrule replied. ‘Wow, that looks delicious, Legend. Sorry we took so long; I would have loved to help out.’

‘Next time,’ Legend promised, ignoring the sour looks thrown his way. ‘Eat up kid, you need your strength. Time, any thoughts on next steps?’

Time chewed and swallowed a mouthful of potato before replying, ‘Same as before: we look for a way down from here.’ He took a stick and began to scribble a map on the ground. ‘Looks like we’re more or less at a dead-end around here, unless we want to risk a very long climb down. We may as well have a quick look around in case we find anything useful, but if we actually want to progress, we’ll have to backtrack past the temple. Then we either look for a way to continue west, past these cliffs, or we continue all the way nor-north-west beyond where we were last night.

‘I’d be inclined to do the former first.’ He tapped his stick on the makeshift map. ‘Our survey wasn’t perfect, but I’d be relatively confident that the cliff continues all the way around here.’

‘West means that we’ll be heading in the same direction as the new kid,’ Warriors pointed out. ‘What’ll we do if we run into him again?’

Time sighed. ‘He doesn’t seem to want anything to do with us. I get the sense we’d just be making things worse if we pushed him. I’d rather he didn’t bomb himself up any more cliffs running away.’

‘It sounds like he’s curious about us, anyway,’ Sky pointed out. ‘You said he’d been eavesdropping?’

Twilight nodded. ‘He admitted it himself. Actually, if I think back on what he knew and the words he used… we were discussing our quest yesterday evening, weren’t we? I ran into him earlier that day, and he found us pretty quickly when the bokoblins attacked us. I’m guessing he tracked down our campsite. He might have been listening to our conversation for a while.’

Legend coughed. ‘That, uh, wouldn’t happen to be the conversation where I made several poorly considered and easily misconstrued remarks about what it meant to be a hero, would it?’

The group paused to consider that.

‘Shit,’ said Legend.

‘Between that and my own first meeting with him… well, we might not have made the best impression,’ Twilight summarised.

‘But if he was there for long enough to hear the conversation, how did none of us see him at all?’ Warriors wanted to know.

‘Simple,’ said Wind. ‘He’s a badass.’

With deep sincerity, Time put forward a request: ‘Wind, please do not make a new idol out of the person who bombed himself up a cliff.’

‘Too late.’

‘Maybe he’ll get curious again,’ Hyrule suggested. There was a slightly dangerous glint in his eyes.

‘He might,’ Time agreed. ‘Let’s not chase him off if we can avoid it.’ He paused, and then added, ‘Well, we don’t necessarily have to set out this afternoon, in any case. There’s no harm in letting him have a bit of a head start. What’s everyone’s status? Legend? Hyrule? Four?’

‘Hyrule needs to rest,’ Legend announced. When Hyrule glared at him, he amended, ‘Hyrule and I need to rest.’

‘Four?’ Time asked.

‘I’m alright,’ he replied. ‘Umm… well, but actually…’

He flinched as all eyes turned to him. He looked over to Legend, who gave him an encouraging nod.

‘There’s something I need to talk to you all about,’ he said. ‘I’d like to do it now, before I lose my nerve, if I can. Is that alright?’

‘Of course,’ Time replied. ‘The floor is yours.’

Four hesitated. He’d been turning things over in his head for some time now, but when it came down to it he still struggled to know where to start. ‘Okay. Well. You know how earlier today I was acting a little… off?’

‘The part where you decided to play tag with a lynel?’ Hyrule deadpanned.

Four winced. ‘Yeah. That part. See, it’d be a lie to say I wasn’t thinking at all, but I definitely wasn’t thinking clearly. And that’s what I needed to talk to you about.

‘See, that thing I did when I split into four people? It’s actually something that I… kind of need to do regularly. And I haven’t for a while. I’d been avoiding it ever since we started travelling together because I didn’t know how to explain things properly.’

He took a steadying breath. ‘My hero title comes from a weapon called the Four Sword. It… has an unusual effect. The way it works is that it splits a warrior four ways when they focus their energy through it. Physically, each part has the same power level as the original. Mentally… there’s a sort of layer of consciousness shared between all of us, but for the most part, each has their own piece of the original personality.

‘The effect wasn’t so strong during my first quest, or even my second one. Back then, the colours were more like echoes of the original, rather than distinct individuals. It was during the third quest when things changed. After that, when I tried to go back to being just the one person… things didn’t really work out that way.

‘Over time, the voices of the four colours started getting louder and louder, arguing inside my head. It became hard to think, and hard to make good decisions. I… one day it got so bad that without even meaning to, we separated again. It was physically straining to split, but it was a huge relief, mentally. And when we finally merged again… I felt fine. More clear-headed than I’d been in a long time. But then it kept happening: I’d go on as Link for a while, and when that didn’t work, we’d have to split. We’d merge when we got tired, and then the whole cycle repeated itself.

‘I should have warned you that it was happening again, but uh…’ Four shrugged helplessly. ‘Well, there’s never really a particularly good moment to reveal that you can hear voices, or that your voices continually argue with each other and distract you.

‘I know it’s weird. I probably don’t sound particularly sane right now, but it’s… it’s not something I can hide indefinitely, even if I try my hardest. So… I don’t know. If you hear all this and decide I can’t travel with you anymore, then that’s fine, but I’d rather just hear it now, alright?’

He chanced a look up at the others and felt shame curdle in his gut at the looks of shock and horror on each face. He’d expected as much, but it still hurt. Even more so within the sudden silence of his thoughts, without Blue to get angry or Red to start crying or Vio to say something soothing and calm or Green to somehow pull them all back from the brink of despair. As difficult as their presence made his life at times, it was moments like these where he felt their absence keenly.

‘Alright,’ said Four. ‘I understand. Thank you for everything, and I’m sorry I hid this from you for so long. I’ll just –’

‘Of course we still want you with us!’ Sky exclaimed.

Four’s head shot up again. ‘Huh?’

If anything, the gazes grew only more appalled as he met each one with his own shocked confusion.

‘Did you really think we’d abandon you because of something like that?’ Hyrule asked softly.

‘I mean, it’s weird, right?’ Four said. ‘You don’t have to act like it isn’t.’

‘It is a bit weird,’ Wind agreed. ‘But while we’re sharing weird trivia: did you know that I can see ghosts?’

‘Uh… no?!’ Warriors sputtered. ‘I didn't?’

‘Well, now you do,’ said Wind. ‘I’m not going to air out anyone else’s dirty laundry, but rest assured you’re not the only one with weird secrets, Four. Holy shit, you have no idea what sort of blackmail material I have at this point. You’re all lucky I’m so benevolent.’

‘He’s not wrong,’ Legend said, and then reconsidered. ‘I mean, yeah, about the “benevolent” part, sure, but –’

‘What? I haven’t even told them about your sleep talking!’ Wind protested.

‘As he says, we all have our secrets,’ Legend said hastily. ‘Being a hero of courage naturally comes with some eccentricities; you don’t have to hide them around me. Around us.’ For some reason Four couldn’t discern, Legend then threw a sharp glance over at Twilight.

Twilight shifted uncomfortably. ‘As he says. I certainly want you to stay. And I think that… well, this is a good group, isn’t it? No one here is going to… to hate or fear or look down on you just because you finished your quest a little different to how you started.’

‘Certainly not,’ Time agreed, looking over to his protégé with a cheery smirk to rival Wind’s. ‘And just suppose someone else had a secret that they were hiding for similar reasons –’

‘Anyway,’ Twilight cut in. ‘You don’t need to worry about that, Four. But I do have a question: can you tell us a bit more about how this works? You said it was physically straining to split, and also mentally draining if you don’t do it every now and then. Are there any signs we should be looking for, or anything we can do to make things easier on you?’

‘Oh,’ Four said with surprise. ‘Well, no. I’m used to it, so I can tell when I need to split. I’ll try to warn you all from now on. I can usually go a few weeks or more before it gets particularly bad, though I can also split before then if I want to. It can be pretty useful: back while I was on my quest, I’d split almost every day for at least a few hours, and I can stay split for about a day before I start to really feel the effects. Plus, if I take damage in that form, it doesn’t carry over except as a loss of energy – though if there’s a lot of damage, it’s harder to merge and also more exhausting once I’ve finished. There are advantages in staying merged as well; we tend to make better decisions, for one.’

‘How does that part work?’ Legend asked. ‘Mentally, I mean. You mentioned you weren’t thinking clearly.’

‘I wasn’t,’ Four replied. ‘My own personality is made up of all four of theirs, so when they come to the forefront, I’m sort of pushed into the background. It’s kind of like operating at one quarter of my normal mental capacity, but… four times that? Which sounds like it should mathematically work out, except that the four pieces don’t really communicate properly.

‘Each one is a little different – Vio is definitely the most responsible, Red is probably the least – but overall, the colours can be quite childlike. They experience emotions strongly and express them openly. If they want something, then they act on that desire, and they get frustrated if they can’t.’ He scoffed. ‘So, yes, at the time, it made perfect sense to suddenly reveal my secret for the purpose of winning a petty argument that I was on the wrong side of. Have any of you ever woken up with a terrible hangover and the distinct memory of drunkenly deciding to mess around with a lynel?’

‘No,’ said Legend.

‘Never,’ Hyrule concurred.

‘Worth a shot. Well, drunkenness is not a perfect comparison, but it’s close,’ said Four. ‘It’s not like I stop being able to think for myself at all, or that I can no longer be trusted to make any kind of decisions – more that I’ll be more impulsive and less logical. So, if you notice me talking to myself or see my eyes flashing different colours… well, take any dangerous and poorly-thought-out suggestions with the same grain of salt you’d apply to Wind wanting to bomb himself up a cliff.’

‘Hey!’ Wind protested.

‘Got it,’ Time sighed. ‘What’s one more reckless kid?’

‘Technically four more,’ Twilight pointed out. Time grimaced.

‘Don’t worry, Four. We’ll look out for you,’ Warriors promised.

‘Thanks everyone. I really appreciate it,’ Four replied softly. A thought struck, and he added hurriedly, ‘Oh, and I should warn you: the colours tend to run their mouths a bit at times. Like I said, grain of salt. Blue's an arsehole, Vio's a snarky bitch, Red cries really easily, and Green –’

‘Hey, save the personal insults for when they're here to argue with you,’ Legend suggested with a knowing smirk. ‘You still have to introduce us properly, right?’

And he wanted to. All of a sudden, he really wanted to. Four wrestled with the lump in his throat for a moment, eventually contenting himself with a short nod and a slightly watery smile.

The conversation petered off and moved to other topics. Four stared into the crackling fire as he did his best to reckon with the fact that none of his newfound family seemed to have an issue with the literal split in his personality. No insults, no drawn weapons, no nothing. Even as he watched, things went right back to normal: Legend queried Hyrule again over his health and suggested that he lie down for a little while. The latter immediately protested, kicking off a short and unheated argument that Hyrule predictably lost.

Four flinched but did not pull away as Sky gently slung an arm around his shoulders. ‘I’m really glad you told us,’ Sky told him softly.

Four nodded, and leaned into the embrace. ‘I’m glad too,’ he replied, and found, to his surprise, that it was completely true.

After lunch, they split up into small groups. Hyrule and Legend went to take a nap, Four and Sky staying near the fire to continue their conversation. Time tapped his protégé on the shoulder and suggested they go and scout the plains closer to the temple, which left Wind and Warriors to scan the rest of the cliff-bound area near the hut.

‘So,’ said Warriors. ‘Ghosts, huh?’

‘Aww, come on. They’re not that scary,’ Wind complained.

‘Wind, do you even know what fear is? Sometimes I wonder.’

Wind sent him a brief smile. ‘I know fear. But it’s a big world, and there are plenty of things scarier than ghosts, right?’ He skipped ahead before Warriors could think of a response to that. ‘Anyway. Do you recognise anything here?’ he called back. ‘I’m curious about which era we’re closest to. Only Legend and Hyrule recognised the lynel, so I’m thinking it might be some point around their eras.’

‘I’m not sure,’ Warriors hedged. He looked around him. ‘Honestly, I haven’t spent all that much time in the deep wilderness, and I don’t know enough about foraging to figure out if the plants here are similar to my own.’

‘Well, for obvious reasons it’s definitely not my era,’ Wind said, gesturing at their thoroughly non-oceanic surrounds. ‘Maybe we’ll know once we get down from the cliff. You know, if we manage to get down.’ He leaned in to peer over the edge, and Warriors resisted the urge to pull him back by the scruff of his tunic. ‘It’s a long way. Rope isn’t going to help much, and I don’t know if my leaf can handle this sort of distance either. Wouldn’t want to run out of magic midway.’

Warriors shuddered. ‘No, I’d rather not see that. Now would you please stop hovering over the edge like that?’

‘Sheesh. It’s like you’ve never seen a cliff before,’ Wind complained, but he turned and took a few steps back regardless.

‘I think we’ve seen about all we can around here,’ Warriors said. ‘Come on.’

He started to walk back from the cliff edge, but paused several steps away when he realised that Wind wasn’t following. Looking back, he saw the child staring up into the sky.

‘What is it?’ he asked.

Wind pointed hesitantly. ‘I can’t be sure, but isn’t that… a Rito?’

‘A what now?’ Warriors followed his gaze.

At first, he thought it was an oddly shaped bird, but then he started to make out humanoid features. The pale grey Rito wore leather armour and carried a golden bow on its back.

‘He’s getting closer,’ Wind said suddenly.

‘Are Rito… friendly?’ Warriors asked.

‘It depends on the individual. They’re not monsters or anything, if that’s what you’re worried about.’

‘Maybe we can talk to him then?’

‘Well, I’m pretty sure he wants to talk to us,’ Wind pointed out as the Rito drew closer and closer. And closer again.

Wind took a cautious step back. ‘Whoa! Hold on, I think he’s –’

The Rito dove the final stretch with exceptional speed, grabbing Wind and pinning him down as Warriors gave a startled exclaim. ‘Sorry, Link,’ the Rito said in a surprisingly deep voice. ‘Princess Zelda’s orders.’

‘What the fuck?’ Wind yelped as he struggled on the ground.

‘Let him go!’ Warriors yelled.

Before either of them could act, the Rito sprang back with a surprised expression. He gave Wind a careful head to toe inspection with his bright golden eyes. Warriors stepped between the two of them, sword raised, and the only reaction he received was the same curious stare.

‘You’re not Link,’ the Rito remarked at last.

Chapter Text

‘I already told you,’ Twilight said exasperatedly. ‘I’ll tell them about Wolfie when I’m ready.’

The breeze was gentle and the afternoon sun bright and warm as Time walked through the grassy fields with his protégé at his side. He breathed in deeply, enjoying the fresh autumn air, and asked, ‘When are you going to be ready, pup? I won’t force you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with, but I do wonder what’s holding you back at this point.’

‘Let Four have his moment,’ Twilight replied. ‘He doesn’t need me stealing his thunder.’

‘How gallant of you,’ Time remarked with a sideways glance at his protégé.

Twilight scowled. ‘Oh, come on, it wasn’t the right moment and you know it. Don’t go all disappointed Dad voice on me.’

‘This is my natural voice,’ Time replied in his naturally disappointed Dad voice.

Twilight didn’t dignify that with a response. He scuffed his boots over the ground, looking in all directions other than Time’s before adding, ‘It’s different with Four, anyway. It’s something he can’t help, rather than something he chooses to do. And while he might not have been upfront in sharing his secrets, it’s not like he actually lied to anyone.’

There were many things Time could say to that, starting with how he was fairly sure that Twilight was a far less adept liar than he might think. Instead, he levelled the other hero a stern gaze and said, ‘The fact that you can hide who you are from your loved ones doesn’t mean that you should have to. As I’ve said, I’ll honour your secrets for as long as you wish to keep them, but I do really hope you will consider –’

‘Time! Twilight!’

Caught off guard, both of them whirled to face Four as he dashed over and paused to catch his breath. Time automatically gave him a quick scan for injuries and then shifted his gaze to the distant campsite. There was nothing wrong at initial glance – no monsters, no screaming – but as he looked closer, he could tell that one of the figures seated around the fire was too tall to be one of their companions.

He looked back at Four. ‘What happened?’ he asked.

Four straightened. ‘Wind and Warriors found someone,’ he replied. ‘Or he found them, I suppose. Apparently, he mistook Wind for the Link of this world, and, uh, swooped on him?’

Twilight and Time blinked at him. ‘“Swooped”?’ Time repeated.

Four gave a confused shrug. ‘I don’t have Rito in my own era. Wind does. Seems they’re some sort of bird people? In any case, we’d better hurry back.’ He turned and set a swift pace back towards the old hut, Time and Twilight trailing after.

‘What’s the rush?’ Twilight asked curiously.

Four answered, ‘Because if both you and Time are missing, then Warriors will think he’s in charge of diplomacy.’

‘Ah,’ said Time, quickening his steps. ‘I see.’

‘Warriors has plenty of experience in diplomacy,’ Twilight protested.

‘True enough,’ Time agreed.

The Hero of Warriors had led whole armies, gathered soldiers from across time and space, knew the ins and outs of the complex social code of the nobility, and had even given half the Chain pep talks in their darker hours. Warriors would indeed be the perfect diplomat, if not for the one flaw…

‘He’s also a terrible liar,’ Time stated.

‘Ah,’ Twilight said thoughtfully.

‘Also, Wind is with him, and Wind craves chaos,’ Four added.

‘Oh,’ Twilight said worriedly.

They hurried back.

It didn’t take long to return to the old hut. Sky spotted them first, and his tense expression shifted to one of deep relief. ‘Time, Twilight, Four! You’re back. Everyone –’ he gestured over to the stranger in their midst: a tall, avian figure with pale grey feathering that shifted to black at the wingtips and around his golden eyes ‘– meet Teba.’

Teba’s sharp gaze shifted to the newcomers, sizing each of them up. If the armour and weapons he bore weren’t hint enough, the appraising stare as Sky introduced them would have clued Time in that there was a seasoned warrior in their midst.

‘Pleased to meet you,’ Teba said graciously, though his shrewd scrutiny didn’t waver.

‘Good timing,’ Warriors said brightly. ‘I was just talking about you, actually.’

‘Oh?’ said Time. His heart sank. ‘In what sense?’

‘To summarise,’ said Teba, ‘you’re Link’s long lost relatives, visiting from a distant land in which you have lived in your entire lives and which you have forgotten the name of but which you swear definitely exists, and due to an unfortunate misunderstanding, your brother slash cousin slash illegitimate son, Link, fled from you, and you are now deeply and selflessly concerned for his safety.’

‘Yes, exactly,’ Warriors said enthusiastically.

‘Pretty much, yeah,’ Wind agreed cheerfully.

Sky did his best to hide a grimace. Wind did his worst to hide a grin. Time decided not to worry about what his own expression looked like or whether he might have spontaneously sprouted any extra grey hairs.

‘I see,’ said Teba calmly. The Rito’s flat voice and apathetic expression gave remarkably little insight into his inner thoughts. ‘Back to the matter at hand, then.’ He gestured back towards the cliffs. ‘I scouted out the area you mentioned. A quick look, of course, but I couldn’t see Link anywhere.’

‘There were no signs at all?’ Wind asked, crestfallen.

‘I didn’t say that,’ Teba replied. ‘I saw a campfire that might have been his, and the remains of a group of bokoblins nearby.’

‘Why is he fighting monsters with a sprained arm?’ Twilight muttered to himself.

Teba ignored the question and continued, ‘The tracks were rather confusing however, and as I said, if he had been there before then he was long gone by the time I arrived. You mentioned you spoke with him? Did he say where he was headed?’

Warriors shook his head. ‘It was a rather brief interaction. Ending with him bombing himself up a cliff.’

‘Ah, yes,’ said Teba. ‘He does that from time to time.’

None of them were quite sure what to do with that statement.

Twilight eventually spoke up. ‘Is Link… missing?’ he asked.

‘He’s almost always missing,’ Teba replied cryptically, ‘But he usually turns up when and where duty calls. It’s rather concerning that he hasn’t in this case.’

The Chain exchanged glances. ‘You said something about Princess Zelda’s orders?’ Wind prompted.

‘Specifically, that you were pinning him to the ground on her orders?’ Four clarified.

Teba gave a non-committal tilt of his head. ‘The Princess did warn that he might teleport. I don’t recall her giving any specific instructions on how to prevent that from occurring.’

‘So then, Link is on the run from the government?’ Wind asked, sounding vaguely impressed.

‘“On the run” is a bit of an overstatement. So is “government”, for that matter,’ Teba remarked offhandedly. He gave his audience another appraising look and whatever he saw seemed enough to prompt a decision. ‘Perhaps it would be best to hear from her directly. And for her to do the same, of course.’ The Rito reached into the pouch at his hip and pulled out a small black and orange object, prodding it until it glowed blue.

Wind leaned in for a closer look. ‘What’s that?’ he asked.

‘Hello? Teba?’

Everyone except Teba jolted with surprise as a slightly tinny voice sounded from the device.

‘Greetings, Princess,’ Teba said politely. ‘I hope you’re well.’

‘Cut to the chase, please. Did you find him?’

‘Hmm,’ said Teba. ‘I’m guessing Link still hasn’t been in contact, then? I didn’t find him exactly, but I did find a clue as to where he’s been.’

‘A clue?! What do you mean? Where are you right now?’

‘I’m on the Great Plateau. It seems he’s been through recently – perhaps an hour or so ago.’

‘The Great – why would Link be on the Great Plateau?! At a time like this?! Honestly, Link, you complete and utter… urgh, you… you butthead jerk!’

Wind snorted loudly at that exclamation. ‘She called him a “butthead jerk”,’ he uttered in quiet amazement. Time scowled at him.

‘Teba, is someone there with you?’ Zelda queried abruptly.

Sharp yellow eyes flickered around the group. ‘I was about to mention that part,’ said Teba. ‘I found a group of travellers. Eight total, six with me now. All armed. They claim to be Link’s long lost relatives.’

The voice went cold. ‘Link doesn’t have any relatives.’

‘No,’ Teba said thoughtfully. ‘I didn’t think he did.’

Half the group jumped as the voice from the device returned, loud and irate: ‘Alright, you Yiga scum, what the fruitcake did you do with Link? You better answer quickly and truthfully, and if you dare to touch a single feather on Teba’s head –!’

Time quickly cut in, ‘We haven’t harmed Link and we don’t intend to harm Teba, if you’ll give us a chance to explain –’

‘Choke on a banana, you Ganon-sympathising cucco excrement. Link may be an irresponsible, uncontrollable little bokoblin child, but he wouldn’t just –’

‘Much as it pains me to admit it,’ Teba interrupted, ignoring the growing sniggering from both Wind and Warriors, ‘I think we’d make more progress by hearing them out.’

‘Fine,’ Zelda said flatly. ‘I’ll make my way over. I’d rather hear this in person.’

Teba’s brows knit. ‘Princess, I really don’t think that would be –’

‘You – the Yiga trash who was speaking earlier. Where are you right now? Can you describe your location?’

Time (what was “Yiga trash” anyway? Did he want to know?) surveyed his surroundings as he replied, ‘We’re right outside an old hut. To the south and along the east is a long drop to the ground, to the west are tall cliffs. There’s some sort of blue Sheikah structure atop the western cliff. Further north are the ruins of an old temple.’

‘Perfect – stay where you are. I’ll be with you in a moment.’

‘You will?’ a surprised Time replied. The only response was a metallic click followed by silence. The device’s colouring turned back to orange.

‘I suppose I should have expected that,’ Teba said to himself.

A rather disgruntled Legend stumbled out of the hut, followed by a sleepy Hyrule. ‘Alright, dickheads, what’s all the noise about this time?’ Legend demanded.

The others exchanged glances. ‘Long story short,’ Time answered, ‘it sounds like we’re about to meet Princess Zelda.’

Hyrule frowned, shielding his eyes from the sun as he looked upwards. ‘Is that her?’

‘Is what –?’ Time followed his gaze and saw a small figure launch themself off the cliff, fall several metres in a cannonball pose and then glide the rest of the way down on a rather flimsy-looking contraption of white cloth and twig-thin wood. The blonde-haired girl landed gracefully and stalked over with a mutinous expression on her youthful face.

Her gaze roved across the group, scowl only deepening as it moved. ‘The truth this time,’ she demanded. ‘Who are you, and where the fudge is Link?’

Warriors watched sulkily as Sky gave a short overview of their interaction with the Link of this era, followed by an actual, real explanation of why eight Link-look-alikes were travelling through time and space, starting with a description of each hero and their title, continuing with an explanation of the battles they’d fought to date and emergence of the empowered black-blooded monsters, and concluding with his usual trick of showing off the Master Sword as evidence of their identities.

‘Cheer up,’ Wind told Warriors quietly as Sky spoke. ‘I thought your story was way less suspicious.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah, I mean you were obviously lying and all, but at least you didn’t have Sky’s cult leader vibes.’

Warriors scowled. ‘Gee, thanks.’

‘I’m serious: listen to him talk about the ways of the Goddess and the spirit of the Master Sword and everything with that weird light in his eyes. Honestly, it’s weird that more of us didn’t run away screaming.’

‘You say that as if none of this has anything to do with you. As if you yourself didn’t encounter gods during your quest.’

‘Huh, that’s a fair point. Do you think I should maybe start a cult?’

Warriors refocused on the more important conversation in time to hear Princess Zelda say, ‘You realise that this all sounds like utter nonsense, yes?’

‘Yes,’ said Twilight.

‘Yes,’ Time agreed.

‘It is a slight improvement from the other story,’ Teba noted, to Warriors’s deep shame.

‘It’s not nonsense!’ Sky protested. ‘Here, I can prove it –’

‘But let’s say that I believe you, anyway,’ Zelda said, even as she shot Sky a deeply disbelieving glare. ‘It’s true that something is wrong with the monsters of this world, lately. I’m not sure if it’s this infection you speak of, but we’ve had rumours of monsters increasing both in number and in strength – when it really should be the opposite, now that the Calamity is gone. I’d been wanting to speak with Link about it for some time, but unfortunately, he’s been out of sight for a while now.

‘And then, last night. The Blood Moon…’ Zelda shook her head. ‘All of our progress, gone just like that.’ The breath hissed bitterly out from behind her clenched teeth.

‘What is the Blood Moon?’ Hyrule asked. ‘All I know is that when it rose up in the sky, monsters appeared all around and we were suddenly under attack.’

It was Teba that offered a response. ‘Those monsters didn’t just appear,’ he explained. ‘They were revived. All of the Calamity’s minions are revived under the light of the Blood Moon. It used to happen every month. We’d go out and defeat the nearby monsters, time and time again, trying to at least keep the settlements safe for our children. It was pointless trying to do the same in the wilds. But not so pointless in recent times.’

‘It hasn’t happened in months now,’ Zelda added. ‘It shouldn’t have happened. Ganon is gone; I confirmed that myself last night.’

Teba gave the princess a reproachful glare. ‘You went to the castle? On your own?’

‘It was my responsibility,’ Zelda said distantly. ‘If I’d somehow failed yet again…’ she trailed off for a moment, but quickly collected herself and added, ‘I was careful; I kept to the shadows, and I had a few items to help me move stealthily. I expected to see Link there, but he never appeared. Then I thought he might have gone to find me in Hateno instead, but no one had seen him there either. And now I find out he’s on the Great Plateau of all places!’ She scowled. ‘If I know Link as well as I believe, it makes sense for him to visit but it doesn’t make sense for him to linger.’

‘He might not have been able to leave. He was injured last night,’ Twilight pointed out.

‘That never stopped him before,’ Zelda said dryly. She and Teba exchanged knowing looks. The others winced at the implications. ‘No,’ said Zelda firmly. ‘Either Link wasn’t able to leave, or there was something that he needed to handle here first. Which was it, I wonder?

‘Alright, I’ve decided,’ she announced. ‘You – Sky, was it? Give me the Master Sword for a moment. I want to see if I can hear that voice again.’

‘You can hear Fi?’ Sky asked with surprise and perhaps a little envy. Warriors himself had previously met the spirit that lived inside the blade, but Fi was quiet these days; even Sky said that he rarely heard her voice.

‘Fi… is that its name?’ Zelda mused. ‘I heard the voice once before. Back when…’ a shadow crossed her expression and she coughed lightly. ‘Well. In any case.’ She held out her hands, and Sky hesitantly passed the sword over.

To their horror, the shine of the holy weapon dimmed instantly, deep cracks and dark stains blossoming like bruises along its length. Sky gasped and moved to retrieve the weapon, only to be stopped by a raised hand from the Hylian princess.

Zelda stared down at the blade for a long moment, eyes unfocussed. ‘I see,’ she said at last. She lifted her gaze to the heroes gathered around the fire. Warriors jolted, startled by the hostility he saw there.

Her eyes tightened. Zelda shoved the sword back at Sky as if she could no longer bear to touch it. ‘Teba,’ she began, ‘Our friends here will need help getting down from the Great Plateau. Then they will be needing horses and provisions for travel. Would the Rito be willing to assist?’

‘That shouldn’t be a problem,’ he replied.

Zelda nodded. ‘It would be best if you ask them yourself, I believe. I’ll stay here in the meantime; I need to speak with these heroes a little longer.’

‘Even if I leave now, I won’t be able to return until late tomorrow at the earliest,’ he cautioned. ‘Are you sure you’ll be alright on your own?’

‘Perfectly sure. I’ll have my slate with me in any case. Unless you think you’ll need it?’

‘Of course not,’ he replied stoutly. ‘If you’re certain then…’

‘I am. Fly safe, Teba.’

The Rito nodded at her, sent one last stern look at the others, and departed. Warriors watched as he walked towards the cliff edge and launched off.

‘Now then, heroes,’ Zelda said, drawing his attention once more with her severe tone and intense gaze. ‘There are several things I need to tell you, and at least one thing that I’d like to show you. Will you walk with me?’

The princess led them confidently over the field formerly occupied by a rampaging lynel. Her eyes scanned carefully for enemies but her stride didn’t falter.

As they walked, Sky took a moment to inspect the Master Sword for signs of damage. The blade was as perfect and sharp as ever: the moment it had left Zelda’s hands and returned to his, every hint of decay disappeared as if it had never existed.

‘Curious?’ Zelda asked. Sky flinched; he hadn’t noticed her gaze.

Zelda explained, ‘You might already have guessed, but this era is much further in the future than any you have visited to date. Here, the previous hero existed over ten thousand years ago, and I don’t believe that particular hero is present here.’ Her eyes scanned over the group. ‘It’s hard to be sure which of you would be closest to the current time. Legends do exist of the heroes of the distant past, but pinning them to a timeline becomes difficult with so much of our written records lost to the Calamity.’

‘What is this Calamity you keep mentioning?’ Sky asked.

‘You and your companions likely know it as Ganon,’ Zelda replied. ‘In this era, we know it as an ancient evil that has existed as long as Hyrule itself.’

‘“It”?’ Time repeated. ‘Ganondorf was merely a man in my era. A powerful man, blessed with the power of the gods, but I wouldn’t call him a “Calamity”.’

‘Your era is long past,’ Zelda responded. ‘If the Calamity ever was merely a man, it has long since abandoned that form.’ She glanced over to the sword still gripped in Sky’s hands. ‘We learned our lesson, one hundred years ago. Hylians live short lives, and we easily lose track of our history. The Calamity remembers its past fights and learns from them, growing stronger each time – even while the power of Goddess Hylia herself wanes.

‘In our time at least, that sword you bear isn’t what it once was,’ Zelda said distantly. ‘Supposedly I myself bear the blood of the goddess, but such blood must be quite thin indeed by now. I don’t know how my powers compared to those of past Zeldas, but they awakened far too late to be of any use.

‘Ten thousand years ago, perhaps foreseeing such a eventuality, the Sheikah built countless weapons to turn the tide, including huge machines known as the Divine Beasts and an autonomous army known as the Guardians. Together with the princess’ sealing powers and the hero’s sword, they defeated Ganon and ushered in another era of peace.

‘Many years passed. The royal family eventually came to fear the inventions of the Sheikah, and forced them to cease their work. Technology was abandoned, knowledge was lost, and the tribe fell into decline. Time marched onwards. But a prophecy remained within the royal family: it told us that the signs of Ganon’s return would be clear, and that the means to oppose it lay beneath the ground. So, one hundred years ago, when monsters started to grow stronger and more numerous, we started to dig. And we found these.’ Zelda paused to point at a strange spider-like construct of ancient metal, long-since overgrown with moss. ‘A Guardian,’ she explained. ‘Or the remains of one, at least.’

Sky looked over the machine, trying to imagine how it may have looked in its prime. It wasn’t quite the same, but he was reminded of the ancient devices found in the Lanayru Mines – except that this one was huge and seemed far more mobile if the graceful twist of its plated legs was any indication. His eyes scanned over the mossy plating and up to the single eye that adorned its dome-like head. ‘How many of these are there?’ Sky asked.

‘Hundreds,’ said Zelda plainly. ‘Perhaps more. We only found a fraction of them before the Calamity hit.’ She continued walking, while Sky did his best to grapple with those numbers. ‘In addition to the Guardians, we managed to unearth all four Divine Beasts. We found new pilots for each one – famed warriors of the Zora, Rito, Gorons and Gerudo. We even found the one capable of wielding the sword that seals the darkness.’ Zelda glanced back at the others before continuing, ‘Link was young but talented, and he had been trained since he was very young indeed. My own father was strict and demanding, but Link’s was far worse. I believe he was about four years old when his instruction first began.’

‘Four?!’ Warriors exclaimed. Twilight said nothing, but his furious glare spoke multitudes.

Sky’s own blood boiled at the thought. ‘A child like that was forced to wield the Master Sword?’

‘Ah. No,’ Zelda replied. ‘He would have been fourteen, I believe, at the time he first drew the Master Sword. He was assigned as my personal knight as soon as my father heard the news.’ She hesitated. ‘I knew nothing of his history at the time, and I was… rather intolerant, I’m ashamed to admit. I believe he has forgiven me, though I hardly deserve it.’

‘Hold on,’ Time cut in. ‘You said this was a hundred years ago?’

Zelda nodded. Her lips quirked slightly. ‘It does make it difficult to believe those who arrive claiming to be his brothers by blood. I hear you’re supposed to be Link’s real father? Funny, considering he’s old enough to be a great-grandparent himself.’

‘Hilarious,’ Warriors said sourly.

Zelda chuckled. ‘If we don’t laugh about it, we’ll probably cry. Now, quiet for a moment: there are enemies nearby, I believe. Should we sneak past, or fight?’

‘Actually, we already scouted the area earlier today,’ Time replied. ‘There were a few foes, but none of them posed much of a threat. We should be safe to continue onwards.’

Zelda raised a brow. ‘Reliable, aren’t you?’ she commented. ‘Let’s keep going, then.’

‘Where are we headed?’ Time asked, though he gave a cautious glance at the towering temple ruins.

‘Uphill,’ said Zelda. ‘There’s a small cave ahead that houses a shrine.’

‘There?’ Sky asked with surprise. ‘It was raining, so we took shelter in the cave just last night.’

Zelda looked at him sharply. ‘Interesting. And when you decided to make camp in that place, did you know what it was?’

The group exchanged wary glances. ‘What is it, then?’ Time asked cautiously.

Zelda reached the top of the hill and turned to face them with a complex smile. ‘Welcome, heroes,’ she said, ‘to the Shrine of Resurrection.’

The back room of the shrine was cold. Legend had noticed it before, but as Princess Zelda guided them inside, the sheer unnaturalness of that cold was clearer than ever.

‘One hundred years ago, we tried to follow in our ancestors’ footprints, and we failed,’ Zelda said softly. ‘We underestimated Calamity Ganon, and my father overestimated me. Ganon took control of the Guardians and killed all four of the Divine Beast pilots, enslaving their spirits and instilling copies of itself in their place. Link fought valiantly to protect me, but my sealing powers did not awaken in time and I failed to protect him in turn.

‘One hundred years ago, in the fields just outside Fort Hateno, Link lost his life.’ Zelda paused in her tale, skimming her hands along the edge of the strange, glowing basin that formed the centrepiece of the shrine’s interior. ‘It was then that I heard the voice of the Master Sword… the one you call Fi. She told me how to save him. And so, while I went to face Ganon alone, Link was brought here, to the Shrine of Resurrection. There he slept, and healed, while I maintained the seal on the Calamity. A century passed until finally he awoke, alone and confused, in one of Hyrule's most remote places.

‘I don’t know if he remembers anything of the time he spent in this shrine,’ Zelda said. ‘I hope he doesn’t.’ Her fingers caught in a strange crevice in the surface of the odd basin. Legend’s stomach rolled as he abruptly recognised the scratch marks for what they were. ‘The technology was untested, and was only ever intended as a means of last resort,’ Zelda commented. ‘When he finally awakened, Link had lost all memory of his former life. That’s how his journey began.’

Abruptly, the princess turned and began to walk, leading the way once more out into the fading afternoon sun. The temperature rose markedly as they left the shrine, and several heroes gave a sigh of relief. Zelda’s own steps did not pause: she led them onwards to the cliff edge and halted there, gazing out upon the admittedly gorgeous view.

‘This is the first real view Link had of the outside world,’ she told them. ‘I was with him in spirit when he first woke up, and at times along his journey. I remember clearly what he felt when he first saw this place.

‘Joy. Wonder. Fear. He saw a vast, beautiful world stretching out endlessly before him, too big to even begin to comprehend, and for a long moment, he couldn’t bring himself to look away.’ Zelda chuckled. ‘He might have stayed there forever if not for his stomach. It’s rather unpleasant, you know, to not eat in a hundred years. So, he went over here, and he started picking mushrooms and apples.’ She led them over to a small cluster of red mushrooms. ‘Lucky for him they weren’t poisonous. Or lucky I suppose that his stomach was strong enough to handle anything that was poisonous. He’s a rather good cook these days, but it was trial and error at the time.’ She plucked a mushroom and handed it to Legend. ‘Hylian shrooms. Rather filling, if a little tough to chew. Especially raw. Ah –’ she knelt and picked up a stick, brandishing it like a sword. ‘If it isn’t Link’s first weapon! Not particularly durable, but in a pinch, it’ll ward off a bokoblin well enough.

‘That’s about all Link had when he set out on his quest,’ said Zelda, letting the stick drop to the ground. ‘That, and some threadbare clothing left behind for him in the shrine. Not much to protect a starved amnesiac from the hordes of monsters swarming this place.

‘And so, within those desperate first few weeks, Link learned to be stealthy, to flee from bad situations, to fight with dirty tricks and to bear with injuries that others would have fainted from. He wouldn’t have survived any other way. It's rather difficult to charge in heroically when anything that moves has the potential to end your life.

‘He grew stronger over time. He freed the spirits of each Divine Beast pilot in turn, and he made his way to me in Hyrule Castle, arriving just in time for my strength to fail and the seal to break. He fought with Calamity Ganon, and this time, he won.

‘We started to rebuild. I urged Link to rest, to recover, and to take some credit for his hard work.’ She scowled. ‘He’s rather stubborn, you know. As soon as the worst of his wounds healed, he was out again fighting monsters, throwing himself back into danger again and again. He said that with Ganon gone, it was the perfect time to finally make a difference. To finally make the roads safe to travel once more. I hated it. I told him there were other ways of helping. Other ways that wouldn't mean constantly risking his life. But he was happy, I think. Happier, at least. Seeing that glint of hope in his eyes...

‘And then the Blood Moon rose once more. Do you know what that means?’

None of the group seemed inclined to answer. Eventually, Legend filled in the silence, ‘That everything went back to the way it was before. As if he may as well never have fought.’

‘He certainly would have seen it that way,’ Zelda agreed. ‘Never mind all the lives he would have saved before that point. But Link isn’t one to give up. As long as the Blood Moon rises, he will go out and fight. He’ll get injured, he’ll recover, and he’ll go and fight again, until, one day, he won’t return.’

She shut her eyes for a moment, a pained expression stretching across her face. ‘I’ve already watched him cheat death countless times. You’d think it gets easier. It doesn’t. I no longer care about whatever duty is placed on his shoulders, or what the gods think he’s capable of. Link has given enough. He’s suffered enough. I want him to be safe.’

Legend looked at the shaking princess, and over to the solemn leader of their group, looking over with sadness in his single undamaged eye. Twilight was already failing to hold back his tears, as was Sky.

‘You’re telling us to give up on taking him with us,’ Legend stated.

Zelda gave him an incredulous look. ‘Did you not listen to a single thing I said?’ she demanded loudly.

‘Huh?’ said Legend, caught off guard.

The princess threw her hands up in exasperation. ‘Honestly! In one ear, out the other! You Links are all the same.’

Legend could see he wasn’t the only one surprised by Zelda’s exclamation.

‘So that's not what you were hoping for?’ said Twilight hesitantly.

‘Why did you tell us all this then?’ Time asked.

‘Because my knight is a fool who wouldn’t know his limits if they punched him in the face,’ she said flatly. Thoughtfully, she added, ‘And they frequently do. I mean, a sprained arm and a concussion is nothing; you wouldn’t believe the injuries he’s walked off.’

‘Does he often blow himself up cliffs, then?’ Hyrule asked faintly.

‘That or shield-surf off mountains,’ Zelda replied. ‘Sometimes he likes to play around with metal objects during lightning storms. Or show off his trick shots in fights with assassins. This one time –’

‘Please stop, Your Highness,’ Twilight requested plaintively.

She acquiesced. ‘“Your Highness” nothing. Call me Zelda. Now, listen to me carefully. Fi said that you didn’t want to push him to travel with you. You mean well, I know, but you don’t understand: Link’s quest is the same as yours, and he doesn’t care about whether it’s possible for one person to complete it alone. He’ll still try.

‘Link may not think of himself as a hero, but if he sees a wrong to be righted or a person to be saved, there’s nothing and no one that can stop him. I won’t ask you not to take him with you. The opposite in fact: please don’t let my knight charge off on his own again.’ She gave a smile that was only slightly shaky. ‘And if you want to catch up with him, I may have a few ways to help.’

‘And those ways are?’ Time asked with a raised brow.

Zelda’s smile took on a slightly vindictive edge. ‘Let’s make camp,’ she suggested. ‘We can discuss the plan there.’

Far on the opposite side of the Great Plateau, Link jolted awake with the clear memory of Zelda’s scowl and the distinct impression that he was in terrible danger.

Chapter Text

Survival instincts could be complicated at times. Such were Link’s contemplations upon realising that he’d woken from a surprisingly restful nap for seemingly no reason.

He guessed it was somewhere between late afternoon and early evening – still bright enough to see his surroundings but late enough for them to take on a slightly yellowish tone. With a muttered curse and a groan of protest, he lifted himself out of the pile of clothing he was using as a bedroll and searched his surroundings for a damn good reason to be conscious.

He’d taken shelter in the cave behind the waterfall. On inspection, the traps he’d laid near the entrance were untouched, the water level hadn’t risen and the cold was no worse than usual. Nothing seemed off. As the initial burst of adrenaline faded, he let himself drop back down. It must have been another nightmare, he supposed. It always made him a little uneasy when he couldn’t remember a dream, especially when it came with that sudden, urgent thought of Zelda as he woke.

Link frowned at the mental reminder. Zelda must be growing impatient with his absence, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t worried about her in turn. He knew that the princess was more than capable of taking care of herself (wasn’t as if she’d ever spent a century recovering from being dead), but if the Blood Moon’s return had hit him hard then he could only imagine what things must be like for her. He couldn’t really spare the time for a visit, but he could at least leave a letter at the stable. It shouldn’t be difficult to find someone willing to deliver it.

He stretched out his injured arm and was pleasantly surprised to find that it was almost back to normal functionality. As an afterthought, he unwound the bandage on his head and felt for the injury there. He winced slightly as his fingers skimmed over a tender patch, but the wound itself was completely closed. Even the bruising on his ribs had subsided.

With his head clear at last from that dreaded dizziness, the encounter with Dark Link earlier that day took on a rather dreamlike quality, and if not for the physical evidence, he might have doubted if it really happened. The effects of the red potion however were clear enough: compared to his own hearty elixir, the draught packed a powerful punch, and he found himself wishing he’d thought to ask for the recipe.

Rolling his shoulder a few times, he contemplated setting out then and there, but reluctantly concluded that a full night’s sleep would do him well. It would be difficult to make it all the way to the castle if he injured his arm again gliding down, and surely Zelda wouldn’t begrudge a small delay to mitigate that risk. He’d wake early, perhaps try a few small test flights, and then make his way down to the stable and onwards to Hyrule Field.

And so, ignoring that strange inkling that something was not quite right, Link rolled over and went back to sleep.

A safe distance away, Zelda tapped her pointer sharply against the surface of a large blackboard. ‘As you can see,’ she explained, ‘I’ve listed out Link’s main strengths and weaknesses, as well as the known external threats and opportunities which may be relevant to our situation. Now, let’s discuss.’

The eight current members of the Chain, plus one Hylian princess, gathered in a clearing to the north of the Great Plateau, not far from their previous campsite. After giving directions, Zelda had excused herself for a period of approximately ten minutes to “make preparations” before dropping back down into their midst from above, nearly giving Time a heart attack. From that point onwards, he had more or less decided to stop asking questions about where the blackboard and pointer had come from or how the princess had been able to scribble out hundreds of words of exquisite chalk calligraphy in the space of less than a minute of summoning it.

It wasn’t time for questions, it was time for strategy.

‘I have a question,’ Twilight said abruptly.

Zelda inclined her head. ‘Speak.’

‘Shouldn’t we be using this time to catch up with Link? I mean, the trail’s only growing colder, and who knows where he could be by now.’

‘Ah. Well, you’re wrong on two counts,’ said Zelda. ‘Firstly, catching up with Link is a bad idea. He tends to behave rather recklessly when he feels cornered, and I don’t think that would be particularly helpful at this juncture. Secondly, there’s no need to track him down: I already know where he is. Or at least, I have a rather good guess.’

Twilight sputtered incredulously. ‘If you know where he is, then –?!’

‘It wasn’t particularly difficult to work out,’ Zelda commented. ‘Going off the assumption that he’s still injured and that he’s unable to teleport – you did say he tried last night, I believe? – his priority will be to make sure his arm recovers enough that he doesn’t die when he descends, and ideally also enough that he can continue to fight with it. That means seeking somewhere safe to rest, and there are really only three suitable places around here.’ Zelda unhooked the device at her hip and swiped her finger across it a few times, turning it to reveal a map. She tapped each location in turn as she continued, ‘The old hut – which he would avoid given your proximity – the bokoblin camp to the north-west – which is a possibility, but a rather long way to travel while injured – and the cave behind the waterfall near Mount Hylia. The latter being both closest and safest.’

‘Why is “bokoblin camp” even on that list?’ Twilight bemoaned.

Zelda shrugged. ‘The waterfall cave is not particularly large, but it’s comfortable enough and it meets Link’s main requirements: easy to defend, easy to escape from and relatively isolated from the elements. It has two exits, one that he can either block off or place traps around, and one that involves swimming through a frigid river with a fast current. Enemies wouldn’t try the latter; that’s his last-ditch escape route if he feels cornered.’

Time raised a brow. ‘So, in other words: if we go over to him now, he’ll impulsively throw himself into the river and develop hypothermia trying to escape?’

‘Correct,’ Zelda agreed. Twilight made an inarticulate noise of complaint, and Time patted him half-heartedly on the shoulder.

Warriors leaned in to look at the map. ‘What about this place?’ he asked. ‘Or here?’ His finger skimmed across two of the blue sigils marked on the map. ‘Those are the shrines you mentioned, right? If you need one of those slate things to enter, wouldn’t it be the perfect place to hide?’

‘He wouldn’t be able to sleep,’ Zelda said flatly. ‘Not inside a place like that. He’s tried. No, I think the cave is the most likely location, but he’ll most likely head north-west tomorrow and try to leave the plateau either by dropping down near the water over here –’ she pointed at the river that flowed over the edge of the plateau ‘– or over there, where the cliffs are closest to the ground.’ Her finger skated to the north-east. ‘And from there to the stable.’ She pointed to a faded yellow square further north-west and looked up from the map. ‘It does depend a little on how injured he is and whether or not he had any healing items with him, but regardless, I don’t see him staying here any longer than he absolutely has to. Thus,’ she concluded, ‘my analysis.’

They turned their attention to said analysis. Time had to admit: it was rather thorough, if alarming. He scanned his eye over the first list:

Strengths!

• General hero nonsense: combat skills (especially archery), super strength, super stealth, sixth sense(?), limited ability to manipulate time. Able to use any weapon, though in my personal opinion, ladles and mops do not count.
• General Link nonsense: capable of eating pretty much anything (I have seen this cretin consume rocks on multiple occasions), highly resistant to illness, exhaustion, blood loss, electrocution, pain and common sense.
• Excellent wilderness survival skills, when he bothers to exercise them.
• Fantastic at cooking.
• Kind, caring and undeniably good at heart. A precious friend that I regretfully cherish very much.

‘He can manipulate time?’ asked a starry-eyed Wind.

‘Only during combat, and it does drain his energy,’ Zelda clarified. ‘It’s something he can use while he’s airborne or when he narrowly dodges or parries an attack.’

‘Oh! That thing with the arrows!’ Wind gasped. ‘I thought he was way too fast!’

‘More importantly: he can cook?’ Legend demanded. ‘As in, actual food?!’

‘Well… yes? Is that so surprising?’

‘In this group? You have no idea.’

‘If I’m honest, I have far more questions about this other list,’ Warriors said, pointing towards the far longer list on the right-hand side of the blackboard. Time followed his gaze.

Weaknesses!

• Sub-zero self-esteem and related self-care deficiencies.
• Makes poor decisions under pressure.
• Extremely jumpy.
• Extremely stubborn.
• Easily distracted.
• Easily amused.
• Too curious for his own good.
• An incurable pyromaniac.
• Breaks almost every weapon he uses, mostly because he keeps using ladles and mops.
• Catastrophic at parties.
• Incapable of grasping the concept of basic kindness and affection as renewable resources that he can both give and receive.

Warriors let his finger hover briefly over the final item, before tapping the second last dot point. ‘I know it’s not the biggest issue here, but I am intrigued,’ he admitted. ‘How is it possible to be “catastrophic” at parties? They’re just parties.’

‘You’d think so, wouldn’t you?’ Zelda said irritably. ‘I swear, I cannot take that feral creature anywhere. Now, you would understand that the defeat of the Calamity is perhaps cause for some kind of celebration, yes? Well, as you might have guessed by now, Link isn’t particularly comfortable with being publicly known as the hero who defeated Ganon, and perhaps I should have realised just how deep that discomfort went, but perhaps he could also have told me rather than show me.

‘So. I organised an event in Kakariko Village and invited Link as the guest of honour. He arrives – late, I may add – and I take in his appearance and tell him, with, I must say, incredible restraint, “Excuse me, Link, esteemed hero of the land in which we find ourselves, but I’m afraid your current garments are simply not befitting of a gentleman. Would you mind changing them?”

‘And he tells me, “My queen, my liege, my goddess incarnate, I just woke up from a hundred-year nap, travelled over most of the continent and then shot magical arrows at a giant evil pig until it died. Do you really think I give a flying fox about gender, let alone gender roles?”

‘And I say, “Yes, of course I understand, my honoured knight, my spirited champion, my gender non-conforming saviour who I very much respect, however I still believe that boxer shorts and a lynel mask are not appropriate attire for a formal event”.’

She threw her hands up in the air. ‘And that’s about the time he informed me that I would never understand his artistic vision, tossed a bunch of explosive peppers into the bonfire, backflipped into it, and used the updraft to float away, yelling, “Enjoy your champagne, losers”. So, yes, I learned my lesson.’ With dramatic flair, Zelda drew a sharp underline below “catastrophic at parties”.

‘Noted,’ said Warriors, clearly trying his hardest not to laugh.

Wind shook his head and made a grab for the chalk. ‘Awesome at parties,’ he corrected.

‘Perhaps we can agree to disagree,’ Zelda replied frostily. ‘Regardless!’ She clicked her pointer sharply against each of the bottom two lists.

Opportunities!

• One extremely peeved friend that Link is rather protective of.
• Eight heroes from across time and space (abilities TBC).
• Teba and the Rito (due back late tomorrow at the earliest).
• Geographical constraints of the Great Plateau.

Threats!

• Hordes of bokoblins.
• The talus.
• Whatever is causing the black blood infection and the return of the Blood Moon.
• Geographical constraints of the Great Plateau.

‘We know where Link is now and we know where he’ll be headed, as well as roughly when,’ Zelda stated. ‘In fact, if we set a watch in the right location, we should be able to hear him setting out. Next: if he learns that I’m on the Great Plateau, he most likely won’t leave until he ensures my safety, one way or another. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that he’ll meet with me, or that he’ll meet with you – let alone that he’ll actually agree to travel with you. Two main risks: one, that he decides you’ve all kidnapped me and acts accordingly, or two, he decides that I’m in safe company among heroes that can protect me better than he can. If the former, he’ll try to assassinate you, if the latter, he’ll continue on his way.’

Warriors raised an eyebrow. ‘Without even saying hello?’

Zelda scoffed. ‘I suppose he might leave a letter at the stable for me, if he’s feeling generous.’ Her expression softened. ‘I suspect you’re all rather intimidating to him. It would take quite a lot of courage for him to decide to approach you openly.’

‘Or it would take a royal request,’ Four pointed out.

‘I’m his friend, not his ruler,’ Zelda said sharply. In a calmer tone, she added, ‘I may be the daughter of a king and queen, but you must remember that the kingdom of Hyrule doesn’t really exist anymore. Not the way you’re thinking at least. Link trusts me a great deal, and does at least listen to my requests, but he doesn’t follow my orders – if the story I told earlier wasn’t evidence enough, that is.

‘And even if I could just order him to go with you, even if I thought that was an appropriate thing to do… where’s the fun in that?’

A pause. Zelda smiled brightly.

‘Fun?’ Twilight echoed at last.

‘Oh, come on!’ Zelda exclaimed loudly. ‘He’s pranked me more times than I can count. Forgive me for wanting to repay the favour for once. Do none of you have any sense of adventure? Really.

‘I’ll tell you this,’ she continued. ‘I know where he’s headed, and I’m able to intercept him at the stable or even on the way to the castle if I have to. I can’t promise he’ll listen to me – in fact, I can almost guarantee he won’t – but I’ll give him a good talking to and I’ll ask him to meet with you. Really, though, isn’t it better if he decides to meet with you of his own accord?’

Time considered her words. ‘Can you show us the map again?’ he asked.

When she complied, he flipped the blackboard on its axis to reveal a blank slate and then replicated the map as best as he could, large enough for everyone to see.

‘There’s nine of us, and only one of him,’ he announced. ‘This new Link isn’t the only one with a few tricks up his sleeve, now, is he?’

A pause.

‘Time,’ said Twilight. ‘I look up to you and I respect you a great deal, but are you seriously declaring a prank war on this poor, traumatised kid?’

‘Well, when you put it that way,’ Time began, and turned to ask, ‘Wind, as a poor, traumatised kid yourself: thoughts?’

Deadly serious, the young hero replied, ‘I’m gonna prank this new Link so hard, he won’t know what hit him.’ He held out his hand for a high five, and Time gave it.

Warriors chuckled. ‘If it’s prank war strategy you want, I’m your guy.’

‘This is insane,’ Twilight protested.

‘Insane or not, I’m game,’ said Hyrule. ‘I want revenge.’

‘Revenge is a rather harsh way of putting it, but, uh,’ Sky coughed. ‘I may have some prank experience of my own.’

‘If I split, that gives us an extra three people,’ Four chimed in. ‘I maintain a psychic link when that happens. It’s rather useful for reconnaissance.’

Everyone (especially an increasingly plaintive Twilight) looked at Legend, who sighed and started to empty out his magical bag. ‘It’s been a while since my last major prank war, but yeah, I’ve probably got a few useful items.’

Twilight made an exasperated noise. ‘Fine! Whatever. Just promise we’ll stick to nice pranks. We’re supposed to be heroes, remember?’

‘No promises,’ Hyrule and Time replied simultaneously.

‘Don’t be a stick in the mud, Twi,’ was Wind’s contribution. ‘I’m not even a hero,’ was Zelda’s.

Time watched his poor protégé sputtering, and chose, as veteran warriors often did, violence.

‘I hereby declare a prank war,’ he announced. ‘May the best side win.’

As the sun rose, Link stretched, ate breakfast, and made his way out of the cave.

The morning air was pleasantly crisp. After experiencing the extreme temperatures the Hebra region had to offer, the chill of the Great Plateau’s south barely even bothered him, especially with the Rito-made snowquill tunic to keep him warm. A few ice chuchus blocked his path, but a handful of remote bombs cleared the way easily enough. The rough noise was satisfyingly loud in the quiet, and he was feeling rather cheerful indeed up until the point when he spotted something strange ahead.

He moved closer, sure that his eyes were somehow deceiving him, but no: apparently there really was a blackboard blocking his path. More specifically, he realised as he approached, a blackboard bearing horrifyingly familiar handwriting.

Dearest Link, the message read, I hope you are well. I have been looking for you for quite some time now, and have found myself rather concerned by your continued absence. Luckily, with the help of some new friends who share your name – and who would very much like to join you for a conversation that does not involve explosives – I have been able to track your approximate location. While I do respect both your need for space and your fear of strangers, please note that I will be most displeased if you were to depart the Great Plateau without speaking with me. Yours Sincerely, Zelda Liliana Hyrule.

Before he’d even finished reading, Link’s thoughts were racing.

The handwriting was unmistakeable, the tone of the letter even more so. He could only conclude that it was genuine. But how could a message from Zelda have reached the Great Plateau? And why? For that matter: where? She’d told him to speak with her before departing, but hadn’t even included a location; how was he supposed to interpret that?!

His gut squirmed at the thought of Zelda meeting with the group of heroes. What had they told her? What had she told them?!

No… rather, this was good, wasn’t it? It was good that Zelda had finally met someone capable of doing what he had so clearly failed to achieve.

What if that was what Zelda wanted to speak to him about? To let him know that he wasn’t required anymore? But she’d already tried to tell him that countless times, hadn’t she? It was a common occurrence at this point: he’d stumble back looking pitiful and wounded from some fight or other, and Zelda would start telling him that he didn’t need to bother fighting. That he could leave it to someone else. And now she’d finally found that someone else, and that was good for her, then, wasn’t it? He’d stay out of their way, just as she wanted, and they could damn well stay out of his.

It was only as Link was about to shove the blackboard aside and continue on his way that he spotted the “PTO” lettered in the bottom right corner. After a moment’s irritable hesitation, he flipped the slate.

PS: Zelda continued, I have already informed these fine travellers of your tragic backstory, your personal insecurities and the frequency at which you consume rocks and substitute soup ladles for swords, therefore kindly consider those aspects of the correspondence thoroughly actioned and closed. Speak soon.

‘Zelda, what the fuck?!’ Link yelled.

The ancient beetle-shaped device trundled back across the long distance, finally resting, with a mechanical wheeze, on the holster on its master’s arm. Sky blinked unsteadily as his regular vision returned. He gave a brief yawn at the early hour, and then turned to an expectant Red to give his report.

‘He received Zelda’s message,’ Sky said. ‘I get the sense he didn’t like it very much. What did she end up writing, anyway?’

Red shrugged. Vio? they called.

Through their psychic link, they heard Zelda’s response: ‘This and that,’ she said.

Three sets of footprints led away from the blackboard, one smaller and lighter than the others, all mostly filled in with snow. The tracks led to the crumbling bridge over the river where someone had already dropped several large chunks of metal to fill the gaps in the walkway.

Link recalled that Purah and Symin had been trying to duplicate his Sheikah Slate, recently adding Zelda to their research team. Here was evidence that they had since succeeded. He felt a surge of pride that he quickly tamped down, remembering that he was supposed to be furious at the sharp-minded scholar. Never mind that she’d accomplished in weeks what two talented researchers had struggled with for years.

Rather than cross the bridge, Link walked further along the riverside, peering over the edge to see the water pooling far below. The river was dangerously cold near his current position, but he knew that it warmed further down. He’d been considering things over breakfast, and if he was to descend the Great Plateau with his arm still recovering then it was probably better to do so over water rather than over ground. Before he could fully commit to any kind of decision however, he glanced over to the other side of the river and halted, suddenly noticing that the bokoblin watchtower was empty. Come to think of it, there should have been an enemy closer to the bridge as well. He supposed it made sense if Zelda and her… new friends had come that way. He frowned at the sight of something else that didn’t belong, placed just below the watchtower, and pulled his scope out to take a closer look.

Was it a statue? The shape looked humanoid, but it was perfectly still other than a fluttering scrap of something stuck to its chest. But what was it, and where had it come from? Curiosity officially piqued, Link made his way across the bridge, eyes darting from side to side as he walked. Nothing and no one interrupted his stride, but he drew his sword just to be safe.

Up close, the statue was terrifyingly lifelike. It stood slightly taller than Link, clad in a forest green tunic complete with a matching pointed cap. One of its eyes was scarred over and the other captivated the world before it in an intense stare. The statue’s teeth were bared in an unpleasant, rictus grin.

Avoiding meeting its gaze for any longer than he had to, Link reached down to flatten the paper note stuck to its chest.

Don’t go into the water, the message read. A second line explained, We wouldn’t want you to drown.

Well, that was creepy.

Maybe a little too creepy if he was honest, but it was still just a statue. He’d seen creepy statues. Even met with one, further east. Link was over a hundred years old and had seen horrors that most people could hardly even imagine, and so, even if his quickening heartbeat suggested otherwise, he wasn’t about to freak out just because of something like –

Cold, wet fingers skimmed over Link’s cheek and poked gently at his nose. A second hand dropped loosely over his, still splayed across the statue’s chest. He jerked away, eyes wide.

There was nothing there. Nothing but the statue, at least, and the statue had not moved. And yet, there was something there. Just because he couldn’t see it didn’t mean his senses weren’t screaming at him.

Link took an involuntary step back, followed by another. Soon, he was running.

He hoped he was merely imagining the ghostly chuckle that followed him.

Both Sky and Red jumped as Time slipped the Stone Mask from his face.

‘Mission accomplished,’ he informed them. ‘I don’t think our friend will be swimming away anytime soon.’

‘How long have you been there?!’ Sky yelped.

With a completely straight face, Time replied, ‘That’s for me to know, and for you to lose sleep over.’

Sky shuddered.

Red eyed Time with new respect. ‘Remind me never to cross you,’ they said.

‘Don’t worry,’ Time offered serenely, ‘I will.’

The thing about Link’s survival instincts was that they weren’t always particularly rational. In this instance, he ran all the way uphill and into a bokoblin camp before realising that he had, in fact, run directly into a bokoblin camp. Thankfully, and surprisingly, the camp was empty.

‘Zelda,’ he murmured to himself. Or Zelda and her “new friends”, at least. He surveyed the slopes and found another empty camp further to the right, plus one more on the cliffs to the other side of the river. Had the group of heroes already fought their way across the entire plateau?! Shaking his head, Link climbed the nearby wooden lookout and took in the view below.

One thing became quickly apparent: there was a pyromaniac on the loose, and for once, it wasn’t him.

He would admit to panicking for the first few seconds, imagining the neat rows of small fires as an entire army of monsters stretching out below. And yet, save for the thin lines of smoke and occasional glimpses of orange light, the forest was as quiet and still as ever. It was daytime already: if so many monsters really had gathered across the Great Plateau, surely he'd be able to hear them.

Instead, the near-perfect diamond pattern reminded Link a little of the time he’d pranked Zelda by placing fragile globules of chuchu jelly across the floor of the Hateno Ancient Tech Lab. Good times. Easily worth the hour spent on set-up, and honestly it was Zelda’s own fault for locking him in there “to rest” (it was only a broken leg, sheesh).

The scene below put his own pettiness to shame. What Link saw were perhaps fifty individual campfires, burning steadily and evenly in a neat pattern across the north of the Great Plateau, most of which were obscured by trees, but none of which showed any sign of growing out of control.

‘What the fuck?’ Link said aloud, impressed despite himself.

His mind ticked through various possibilities, trying to make sense of the bizarre display. Was this really the work of only eight or nine people, or had they somehow brought reinforcements? If not monsters, just how many people did those campfires represent, and why had they come?

What of Zelda? he wondered with a sudden stab of anxiety. Was she safe, somewhere below?

As he watched, a new trickle of smoke began to make its way up from the ground, extending the pattern further to the east.

‘Look, Hyrule,’ Twilight began carefully. ‘I know you’ve been really stressed, and I know that burning things brings a lot of catharsis, but do you actually intend to stop anytime soon? We are going to run out of kindling eventually.’

Hyrule straightened, bright red candle in hand, and gave Twilight his most charming smile. ‘You’d best find some more kindling then,’ he suggested mildly.

Nothing for it, Link decided. He steeled himself, and began to navigate a careful path downwards.

Chapter Text

A strategy team consisting of Zelda, Warriors and Vio gathered at the top of the Great Plateau tower, watching a small figure make its way cautiously down the path alongside the Temple of Time.

‘He’s really going for it,’ Vio remarked. ‘I know you said he was easily distracted, but this all feels a little too easy.’

‘Don’t count your cuccos before they hatch,’ Warriors chided absently, spyglass pressed firmly to his eye.

‘He’s right,’ Zelda agreed. ‘Next is the real tricky part. Vio, can you update the others?’

‘Already have,’ Vio drawled. ‘Red and Sky are moving in from the south; there’s not a lot of cover, so they’re taking it careful and slow. Blue is still with Wind towards the west. Green is closest. Should I tell him and Legend to move in?’

‘No, they should stay where they are. But get ready to act on Plan B.’

Warriors raised an eyebrow at Zelda. ‘Plan B?’

‘Plan “Blow Shit Up”,’ Vio explained. ‘The one where we set off a bunch of explosives to get Link’s attention.’

‘Yes. That one,’ Zelda agreed. ‘The, uh, the Blow Sheep Up Plan.’

‘I see,’ said Warriors. He continued to watch the scene below, ignoring the significant look Vio shot in Zelda’s direction.

‘Princess Zelda,’ said Vio eventually. ‘No, in fact… can I call you Zelda? Would that be too forward?’

‘Please.’

‘You do know that you’re allowed to swear, don’t you?’

‘O-of course!’ Zelda sputtered. ‘Of course I can swear, I swear all the time!’

‘No, you don’t,’ said Vio. ‘You say cute little things like “fudge” and “fiddlesticks” and “sheep”, but you don’t swear. And that’s lovely and sweet and all, so I don’t want to pressure you, but I do want you to know that you’re a free woman – a powerful woman at that – so, if you want to swear then nothing and no one gets to hold you back. Alright?’

‘I – I know!’ Zelda stuttered. ‘I… look, you don’t have to tell me that, I know!’

Vio felt Green give her the mental equivalent of a poke in the arm. Not now, she sent back silently. This is important.

‘Look, Zelda – or how about Zelly, can I call you that? Great – look, Zelly, I’m going to be very frank with you. You grew up in some stifling palace, fought against an army of laser eye death machines, one of which killed your best friend, after which you spent a hundred years sealing away Ganon. And then, once you were finally free, you jumped right into the massive task of rebuilding Hyrule, without ever taking a moment to breathe! And now, all this! I know you’re a very capable young lady, no one’s doubting that, but what I’d like you to keep in mind –’

‘He’s walking past,’ Warriors reported. ‘Do we kick off Plan B, or wait?’

‘Let me take a look,’ Zelda replied swiftly, turning her attention from Vio with insultingly obvious relief.

Vio scowled. ‘Fine,’ she huffed quietly. ‘But we’re continuing this discussion later.’

There was something exceptionally weird going on, Link decided, as he faced down a wooden sign bearing an arrow pointed to the left and a message that read, “free candy this way”.

Straight ahead, Link could see the Great Plateau tower, and far beyond, Hyrule Castle. To his right were the crumbling ruins of the ancient Temple of Time, silent and still as ever. Finally, to his left was a baffling array of small campfires lit by an unknown number of people, the obvious location of some form of dastardly scheme, possibly Princess Zelda, and, apparently, free candy.

Link sighed.

He briefly attempted to calculate the likelihood of either reverse-psychology or reversed-reverse-psychology, but then realised that if Zelda was involved then there would have to be at least five layers of mental ruses to work through. He’d never be able to unravel all of them, and he may as well save his sanity. Yet the question remained: to pursue the obvious path or to avoid the obvious trap?

Link continued walking straight ahead, until, about twenty metres later, he reached another sign that read “wrong way, go back”, followed shortly by one that read “pretty please don’t run away?”.

He stepped carefully around the fourth sign, which gently informed him “We know where you live” (was that supposed to be a threat? Amateurs), and paused to take in the scenic view of Hyrule Field.

The wind ruffled his hair and tugged at his clothes as if pulling him forwards. The familiar sight of Hyrule Castle loomed in the distance, but unlike during his quest, there was no cloud of malice shrouding its impressive form. Link bit his lip in indecision, but eventually turned away. If Zelda wasn’t worried, then clearly whatever was going on in the forest was more important.

For now.

He walked for about five steps before hearing a sudden explosion echo from within the forest. He flinched, mind immediately jumping to terrible conclusions, and began to run.

What the hell, Green? Vio hissed. He was already going! I said to wait for the signal!

‘Yeah, but you were busy with girl chat,’ Green replied. ‘If you don’t want me exploding things, try paying attention next time.’

Legend looked at him sharply. ‘Say, Green,’ he said, ‘why do I suddenly get the feeling we weren’t supposed to enact Plan Blow Shit Up?’

Yeah, Green, why does he get that feeling? Vio snarked. Green winced at the realisation that he’d once again mixed up his indoor and outdoor voices. ‘Oops?’ he replied politely.

Legend sighed. ‘This is going to be that lynel all over again, isn’t it?’ he muttered. When Green didn’t reply, Legend added in a slightly louder tone, ‘We’d best get moving.’

When he next saw Zelda, Link decided, he was going to propose a new law: no more carpentry.

Carpenters clearly had too much time on their hands, and it was time that could easily be better spent creating literally anything other than a seemingly endless array of sturdily constructed and meticulously carved wooden signs. How had they even managed to get all this work done so quickly?! It was starting to bother him almost as much as the tens of campfires had.

By the time Link had tracked down the source of the explosion, all he could find was a lightly smoking crater and a neatly carved sign with an arrow on it that read, “Free candy and/or important information about Princess Zelda’s whereabouts this way”.

With sheer force of will, Link tamped down his own desire to start tossing bombs, and instead gave the sign a gentle yet firm kick before following the arrow deeper into the forest.

‘How did Sky manage to make so many signs anyway?’ Legend murmured. ‘He was only really working for a few hours, tops.’

Green shrugged. ‘This was Twilight’s idea, remember? Sky said something about how he was so proud of baby Twi’s first ever prank and that he was going to do his best to make sure it was the best prank ever. Then he just started carving at some ridiculous speed and we kind of left him to it.’

‘Huh,’ said Legend. ‘Wow, that’s uh… that’s amazing, but also kind of demeaning?’

‘It is, isn’t it?’

‘Yeah, I mean, it’s not Twilight’s fault he’s a grown adult who’s never pulled a single prank.’

‘…Hm?’

‘He’s just a good boy, that’s all. The goodest of good boys.’

‘…I don’t know how to interpret that.’

‘Slip of the tongue; don’t think too hard about it.’

Green nodded his firm agreement. ‘Sure, sounds good.’

Hands on hips, Link glared down the latest of the wooden signs.

He’d been led on a zigzag pattern through the forest. The signs had long since abandoned any reference to either candy or mysterious-message-leaving-princesses. “Getting warmer” one read. “Warmer” the next advised, followed by the same again along with a steadily increasing number of exclamation marks.

He’d passed several campfires on his way, none of which showed any sign that living creatures – monster or otherwise – had paused there to rest or cook. Indeed, while tracking inside a forest was always a little difficult, Link was growing increasingly confident that the fires could not be the work of more than a small handful of people – impressive though that feat might be. To mark his path (and because he was feeling petty), he extinguished each one he crossed.

The latest sign, marked “EXTREMELY WARM!!!” pointed straight towards another mock campsite, this one placed in a small clearing close to the edge of the forest. Link strode forward and emerged face to face with the results of his scavenger hunt.

For a long moment, he could only stare.

A carefully contained fire burned cheerily at the centre of the clearing. Beyond, a small, colourful satchel sat at the centre of a log, weighing down a cream-coloured envelope. On either side, large wooden signs pointed in towards the flames.

“HOT!!” said the first.

“Get it? Because it’s a fire” clarified the second.

Link continued to stare.

Did we break him? Red asked fretfully, viewing the frozen figure through Green’s eyes.

Uhh… maybe? Green admitted. He and Legend peered down from one of the trees overlooking the clearing, cloaked from the new arrival through a combination of his Gnat Hat and Legend’s veteran hiding skills.

A harsh snort broke the silence. Green jolted and nearly fell as Link all but collapsed into hysterical cackling.

‘Because it’s a fire,’ Link choked out in between fits of laughter.

Twilight’s sharp ears twitched. A grin stretched over his face. ‘Got him,’ he announced to an incredulous Hyrule.

‘Because it’s a fucking fire,’ Link sniggered again. He wiped the tears from his eyes and did his best to collect himself. He couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed so hard, let alone about something this ridiculous. Zelda only rolled her eyes at his puns, Frelly from the sand seal rental shop consistently played dumb (though that was fun in its own right), and even his fellow pun lover from Tabantha had never committed to the bit to this extent. Now that he thought of it, Pondo would love this gag. Link made a mental note to schedule in a visit at a later stage.

It took several minutes to finally steady himself enough to make his way over to the log beyond the fire.

He promptly slipped and fell.

For a moment, Link lay still, confused by what had just transpired. Then he looked over, saw the banana peel, and burst into wheezing laughter all over again.

‘Y-you fucking got me,’ he gasped aloud for the benefit of the two people inexpertly hiding in the tree nearby. He did his best not to give any reaction to their whispered conversation.

‘Why the fuck is he laughing so much at that?’ Legend (he thought it was Legend) was wondering to himself in a too-loud mutter.

A second voice – maybe Four? – replied, ‘I don’t know, but I do know that you owe Twilight, Sky, Zelda and Red twenty rupees apiece.’

‘Fuck that. Don’t you dare tell them. I’m fucking furious.’

Link snorted, stifling the sound a moment too late. The others went quiet, but didn’t leave their position.

With extra care, Link stepped forwards, checking first that there were no other traps. Ignoring his onlookers, he freed the envelope from its surprisingly heavy paperweight and opened the letter, immediately recognising the script as Zelda’s familiar hand.

Greetings, stalwart champion of Hyrule, it began. Reluctant party-goer though you may be, I trust you’ve been enjoying the festivities. In honour of your achievements to date, I thought I would give you a few clues as to where all this is headed.

First, let us be clear: there is no point going to the castle, let alone going alone. Calamity Ganon is gone. You will find no trace of it there. The heroes I met with hold important information about strange happenings across Hyrule, which may well explain the Blood Moon’s return. If you were to meet with them, I’m sure they would tell you what they know, though that does bring me to my second point: you’ll have to catch them first.

Perhaps you will acknowledge the rather significant amount of time I have, to date, spent worried about the specifics of your location and your then-current wellbeing. I hope you will enjoy the rare opportunity to experience these apprehensions for my own sake. Be advised therefore that I am currently situated somewhere on the Great Plateau, as are my eleven companions. We challenge you to a game of tag. Standard survival/elimination rules. You have until sunset: at that point, my location is anyone’s guess – the joys of Sheikah teleportation technology (as you would well know)!

None of us have much intent of playing fairly. Given the impending deadline, you’d best move quickly. Yours Sincerely, Zelda Liliana Hyrule. PTO.

Confused, but certainly relieved, Link flipped the page.

PS: we discussed and agreed that whoever loses first has to play a penalty game of your choosing. It sure as hydrangeas will not be me.

PPS: the rather lovely and kind Hero of Twilight intended to place actual candy here as a reward for your progress, but as I am of course better briefed of your culinary preferences, I made an appropriate substitution.

Link reluctantly checked the contents of the colourful bag, finding that they were exactly as expected. He rolled his eyes.

The penalty game was an interesting addition, he had to admit, and if he had anywhere near the patience of the princess herself, he might have considered seeking her out first. As it was, there were already two rather convenient targets close by.

Link smirked. These heroes weren’t the only ones capable of pulling pranks, now, were they?

Link sure was taking his time, Green noted curiously. Laughing fit aside, the hero had been reading that letter for almost five minutes, leisurely seated on the log opposite his and Legend’s hiding spot.

What was he doing?

‘How many times do I have to tell that stupid princess?’ Link said abruptly. ‘You can’t just eat rocks raw. You have to cook them first. Honestly.’ He shook his head, and with a flash of blue, a cooking pot and a steel rack materialised into his hands. He emptied the bag of rocks into the pot and placed it on the unfolded rack above the fire.

‘Umm… what the fuck is he doing?’ Legend whispered to Green, who had no answer.

Maybe he’s onto something? Red suggested dubiously. Zelda did say he was good at cooking.

Yeah, but not rocks on their own, Blue argued. You have to mix them with other things.

Blue, for the last time, rocks do not count as food or seasoning, Green retorted. Vio, tell him!

A disgruntled Vio replied, Blue, stop eating rocks. Green, stop dragging me into your stupid arguments.

Bite me, said Green.

Fuck off, said Blue.

Link continued to poke at his Sheikah Slate. ‘Let’s see what else we have here,’ he muttered. ‘Ah! Perfect!’

All of a sudden, Link’s hands were full of something strange and purple. Something that was still twitching. Green’s stomach flipped. Please no, tell me he’s not seriously –

Cheerily, Link chopped up the… whatever it was… and dropped it into the pot, followed by two comparatively normal ingredients: chunks of raw (non-pulsating) animal meat and a bundle of some kind of herb. Next was a pinch of bright red spice, followed by…

Oh, come on! Green cried.

With far more care than the bluish green lump deserved, Link cut up an object that looked suspiciously like a moblin’s internal organs. ‘Thanks for the recipe, Moza,’ he said absentmindedly as he stirred.

To Green’s shock, the smell rising from the cookpot was… not all that bad, actually? It didn’t smell good exactly, but it was strange more than it was unpleasant. He couldn’t quite say the same for the look of the dish: somehow the ingredients had combined to product a sickly green mush with floating chunks of blue and red. The chef appeared entirely unbothered by his unholy creation, dipping a small spoon inside, blowing gently on the contents, and then taking a taste.

Green tried not to retch. Blue looked on with horror, Red with morbid curiosity. Vio had long since stopped watching.

‘Just needs a little salt,’ Link commented.

He’s… he’s taking the piss, right? Blue asked uncertainly, as Link very seriously seasoned the dish.

No, this is genius! Red decided. I mean, he’s some kind of wilderness survival hero, right? It makes sense he would have figured out how to cook monster parts. And when you think about it: moblins are basically just two-legged cows, aren’t they?

In what way?! Blue demanded.

Picture it in your head: moblin on one side, cow on the other. They even have the same snouts and ears. I can’t believe we never saw it before.

You’re full of shit. So is this guy. There’s no way he hasn’t figured out we’re here.

Yeah, well Legend isn’t moving, now, is he?

Legend was not, in fact, moving. When Green looked over at his face, he saw the veteran hero’s eyes still locked curiously on the scene below.

Yeah, but Legend puts up with Hyrule’s cooking, and who even knows what Hyrule puts in dishes to make them taste that bad, Blue argued.

Wait, so we’ve been eating monster parts all this time? Red wondered.

Green grimaced at the idea. Alright, you know what? Fine. Let’s see how this plays out.

‘Done,’ Link announced, ladling out a healthy serving of… no, who was Green kidding? There was no way that was healthy. Link ladled out a generous serving onto a dish, and, without further ado, sat back on the log to eat.

For a while, the clearing was silent save for the slurps and occasional crunches (were those the rocks?) from the seated hero. If the stew was unpleasant, Link gave no sign of it. He made it halfway through the dish before pausing, placing it carefully on the ground and then rising to stretch. He started to walk nonchalantly around the campfire, lightly rolling out his injured arm.

Link was on his second rotation when he suddenly reached a hand upwards and seized Legend by the ankle.

‘FUCK!’ Legend yelped loudly as he fell to the ground.

‘Tag,’ Link said casually. His eyes flickered to Green and his hand darted out again, pointer finger poking gently at Green’s diminished form. ‘And tag.’ Link whistled innocently as he walked back around the campfire, ignoring Legend’s expletive-laden complaints. ‘So,’ Link said, dangling the letter from his left hand. ‘Legend, right? About that penalty game…’

Legend blew out an exasperated breath. ‘Fine. Can’t say I didn’t agree to this.’

Eesh, lucky you’re small, Green, Red said fretfully. That was close.

Link handed Legend the half-finished meal. ‘Here’s your penalty game,’ he said pleasantly. ‘Eat my cooking, then go and let Zelda know that rocks are delicious, actually.’

As soon as Legend accepted the plate, staring down with apprehension, Link turned back to the log. He tapped at his Sheikah Slate, and, with an odd chiming sound, the log turned yellow. Inexplicably, he then summoned a hammer and struck the log several times before sitting back down, giving Legend a convenient break in which to reckon with the dish he’d been told to consume.

‘Alright. You win,’ Legend agreed with a slight shudder. ‘Just one thing first: how are those injuries of yours doing? If you’d like, I can have a look?’

‘Can’t, sorry,’ Link replied. ‘Gotta fly.’ The device on his hip beeped in warning and he gave a sarcastic salute.

Legend’s eyes narrowed. ‘Now, listen here, you little shit –’

With a clink and a whoosh, the log rocketed off through the forest, carrying Link with it.

Legend stared after him. ‘I’m going to fucking kill that kid,’ he enunciated clearly.

Green dropped down from his shoulder and grew to full size. ‘Fair,’ he allowed. ‘But right now, I think you’ve got bigger things on your plate. Or smaller things, I suppose. Small green and blue things that look remarkably unappetising.’

‘Fuck you,’ Legend groaned. He dug around in his bag of magical artefacts and pulled out a very non-magical spoon. ‘Fine, I’m no coward. Let’s get this over with.’

‘Hold on,’ said Green. ‘You got another spoon?’

‘It’s fine. Rules are rules.’

‘Yeah, well you might have been tagged first, but we both got caught together,’ Green argued. ‘If you have to pay the price, it’s only fair I do the same. And honestly? I can’t say I’m not curious.’

Legend’s lips twitched in amusement. ‘Spoken like a true hero of courage. Who am I to argue, then?’ He reached back into his bag and pulled out a second spoon. ‘Hey, who knows? Maybe it won’t be so bad. The kid ate half of it himself, and he’s still kicking. Quarter each? We can do that.’

‘Sure. On three, then?’

Legend loaded up a spoon. Green did the same. ‘One… two… three!’

Each spoon rose resolutely to its holder’s mouth.

‘Hey, Zelly,’ Vio began. ‘Green and Legend have a question for you. Oh, but I’m not allowed to explain the context.’

‘Hm?’

With the same blank expression Zelda knew to represent an internal conversation, Vio asked, ‘Does Link actually eat his own cooking? Or is it all sleight of hand?’

Zelda blinked. ‘Of course he eats his own cooking. He’s a wonderful cook, he cooks for me all the time.’

‘I see,’ was all Vio said. Her expression twitched and she eventually lost the battle to hide a smirk. ‘Anyway, so you know: Legend and Green are out of the game, but they do want you to know that, and I quote, “Rocks are delicious”.’ Vio took in Zelda’s stormy expression, and evidently decided to press on, ‘They lost sight of Link, but he’s probably headed in Blue’s direction.’

‘Darn it,’ Zelda sighed. ‘That was quick. Are Red and Sky in position?’

‘Yes – though they might have to move again. Sky’s Beetle only has so much range.’

Zelda scanned her map. ‘Alright. See how they go for now. Hyrule and Twilight should still be close.’

Of all things Link could have expected to encounter upon blasting himself into a new part of the forest, he could admit that “startled pyromaniac healer with a candle” and “horrified werewolf with a handful of firewood” probably wouldn’t have made the list. In the few seconds between when Link landed and when his stasis rune recharged, the candle was stowed away, a bug net was drawn, and, with a fierce battle cry, there was a brunette hero charging at him.

Link tapped his Sheikah Slate, and the battle cry abruptly broke off.

‘Tag,’ said Link as he gently tapped the frozen Hyrule on the shoulder, and ‘tag’ again as he darted past the shellshocked Twilight and his piles of discarded kindling.

And then there were eight.

‘Yeah, Rule and Twi won’t last long, neither of them were even bothering to hide,’ Vio informed Zelda. ‘But I’ve let Blue know. Heaven knows he’s heard enough of Wind whinging about how boring watch duty is.’

Seated to Vio’s side, Warriors felt his hackles rise. ‘Wind takes watch duty all the time, and he does an excellent job,’ he retorted. ‘Just because he’s young doesn’t mean he’s unreliable.’

‘I didn’t say he was unreliable, I just said he was whinging. And he is.’

‘Wind doesn’t whinge,’ Warriors shot back.

‘This is so boring,’ Wind whinged. ‘The one time we all decide to do something fun, of course I get shoved off to the side.’

‘At least you’re not stuck babysitting some shitty little brat,’ Blue retorted.

‘Language,’ said Time as he appeared out of thin air.

Wind nearly fell from his perch on the crumbling fortress wall. ‘Damn it, grandpa!’ he yelled. ‘Stop doing that.’

Time casually dropped his bag on the ground and sat beside Blue, while Wind slowly and cautiously made his way down to join them. ‘What’s the latest?’ Time asked.

‘He fell for Twi’s shitty prank, but then immediately caught both Legend and Green. No idea where he is right now. Sky and Red are trying to figure that out, but Sky’s pet peahat is slow as shit, so for all we know, that dickhead could be here any second.’

Time blinked at him. ‘Huh. Those are some new additions to Four’s vocabulary.’

‘Nah, he just never lets me say it, ’cause he’s a dickhead too.’

‘He did warn us you were an arsehole,’ Wind offered cheerfully.

‘Yeah, good thing too,’ Blue replied. ‘I’d hate to think you were unprepared or anything.’

Wind shrugged. Time hummed. Having dealt with Legend’s general arsehole-ery for some time now, those seemed to be the most productive responses. The three of them sat in peace, listening to the noises of the forest and enjoying the crisp late morning air.

Several minutes later, Blue gave a sudden start. ‘Damn it, Red, stop shouting,’ he muttered.

‘Is there an update?’ Time queried.

Blue flapped his hand distractedly. ‘Yeah, yeah, hold your horses.’

Time waited patiently. Wind waited as patiently as he could, which unfortunately equated to about ten seconds of waiting in total. ‘Well?’ he prompted deeply impatiently.

Blue hushed him again. After another few moments, he spoke up. ‘Hey geezer, bad news: Sky’s pocket peahat got shot down and the knockback has him out of commission for the moment. You’re needed on espionage duty.’

‘Right,’ Time sighed. ‘And there I was just getting comfortable.’

‘Eh. You might want to hurry,’ Blue said with a shrug. ‘Sounds like the kid was pretty pissed off about the peahat thing, though this is coming to you third hand of course. Red tried to get advice from on top, but Vio’s not responding to any of us.’

‘What?!’ Time exclaimed. ‘Vio isn’t – why didn’t you mention that earlier?’ Hurriedly, he lifted himself up. ‘Stay there – be careful!’ Time called over his shoulder as he dashed away.

‘Watch out for the pit trap!’ Wind cautioned.

Time did not, in fact, watch out for the pit trap.

The canopy of scattered branches and turf gave way instantly to the armoured hero’s weight. ‘Damn, I’m going to have to redo that,’ Wind sighed, stepping forwards to help the older hero out of the shallow ditch. Time briefly sent him a dirty look before slipping the Stone Mask back over his face, vanishing from sight and presumably continuing on his path.

Wind mournfully surveyed the damage to his meticulously laid traps and quickly arrived at the conclusion that restoration wasn’t worth his valuable time (or patience). He turned to Blue instead, and asked, ‘Hey, so should we be worried about that whole “Vio not responding” thing?’

Blue snorted. ‘Just because Vio’s shut us out doesn’t mean we can’t sense her. She’s fine. Red panicked a bit earlier, so Vio got annoyed and did her usual trick of storming off in a huff. Eventually she’ll think that through, but for now, I guess her bonding time with Zelda and Warriors is far more important than whatever’s happening down below.’

‘Got it. But you do realise that in the absence of this context, Time would definitely have interpreted the whole “command suddenly breaking down” thing as something sinister, right?’

Blue considered that with a brief tilt of his head, followed by an unconcerned shrug. ‘Sure. I guess,’ he conceded.

Wind’s eyes shifted to Time’s bag, abandoned on the ground nearby. ‘He sure left in a hurry, huh?’

‘Yeah, looks like.’

‘You know, Blue,’ said Wind, ‘Four was telling us something interesting about all of you the other day.’

Blue tensed. ‘The part where Vio’s a snarky bitch and I’m an arsehole?’

‘No. The part where you’re much more childish than Four,’ Wind explained, ‘and how, much like me, none of you should be left without adult supervision.’

‘Yeah, well he’s full of shit,’ Blue snapped. ‘Do I look like a child to you?’

‘Eh. Regardless,’ said Wind. ‘Seeing as how we’re unsupervised and all, wanna mess around with Time’s treasure trove of magical items and see if we can pull some poorly considered, definitely irresponsible and probably dangerous pranks?’

He watched Blue’s face carefully, catching the moment that his hard exterior cracked, allowing something soft, vulnerable and hopeful to peer briefly out before being hidden away once more. Blue scoffed lightly and replied, ‘I mean, sure. I guess. If you want to, that is.’

Wind smirked, reaching into the bag. ‘Prank time.’

Chapter Text

It all started innocently enough.

‘You know, this is nice,’ said Zelda. ‘I know the circumstances are a little unusual, but… well, with what Vio was saying earlier: I’m not saying that I agree with the conclusions she drew, but it’s true that before the Calamity happened, I really didn’t have a chance to do anything fun and silly like this. So… thank you.’

‘Not at all,’ a surprised Warriors replied. ‘If anything, we should be thanking you. Honestly, we don’t often get a chance to do this sort of thing either.’

‘This is literally the first time Four has ever split in front of other Hylians on purpose and of his own free will,’ Vio groused. ‘He doesn’t even let me chat one-on-one with Zelda – our world’s Zelda, that is – and they’re childhood friends.’

‘Four and his Zelda are childhood friends?’ Zelda asked wistfully. ‘That must be nice. I only met Link at age fifteen, and if I’m honest, we had a lot of communication issues at first… most being my fault, of course, but he didn’t use to be particularly talkative either. We only really bonded after the Calamity hit.’

‘Really? You seem pretty close,’ Warriors commented.

‘We are. He’s my best friend, even if he does drive me up the wall. It’s just that… well, I’m a little jealous, I suppose. I didn’t really have any childhood friends.’ Zelda’s gaze shifted to her lap as she continued, ‘My father was quite strict about my training. My role was clear from birth, but for the longest time I failed to show even a hint of the innate power of my predecessors. My father knew that the Calamity would return during my lifetime, and he knew the consequences of failure. He did what he thought necessary. It wasn’t necessary for me to have friends, so I didn’t. It wasn’t necessary for me to have toys or hobbies, so I didn’t. I spent my time praying and trying to awaken my sealing power. I can’t say I never rebelled, but that was pretty much it for the most part.’

‘That’s…’ Warriors struggled for words.

Vio didn’t share his struggle. ‘Your father sounds like an enormous dickhead,’ she told Zelda blandly.

‘Well, he’s dead now,’ she replied offhandedly.

‘Oh,’ said Warriors.

‘Good fucking riddance,’ said Vio.

Warriors shot her a scandalised look. ‘Vio, you can’t just –’

‘No, she’s right,’ Zelda agreed. ‘He was a bit of a… that. Link said the same, even if I fought against him at the time. Hmm… now that I think about it, I wonder if I ever told him that I changed my mind in the end? That I gave myself permission to hate the man who hurt me, even if that man loved me and loved my kingdom?

‘Say what you want about how he was my father and I’m his daughter and whatever you think that bond is supposed to mean, but for as long as I can remember, he was a king far more than he was a parent. Well, after all: what’s one lonely child, weighed against the lives of every other citizen of Hyrule? Being a bad father doesn’t necessarily mean being a bad king. But I still decided not to forgive him.’

‘And nor should you,’ said Vio fiercely. ‘What sort of king places every hope for the future on any child’s shoulders, let alone his own? Wars, don’t look at me that way, just because he’s dead doesn’t mean he wasn’t an arsehole. I hope that jerk rots in hell and is forgotten from history.’

Warriors fidgeted awkwardly with the end of his scarf. ‘Yeah. I guess. I mean, yes, I agree. Sorry,’ he replied, trying not to think about the sorceress who had indeed, as far as the Chain knew, been forgotten from history.

(His hands felt dirty all of a sudden, and there was nowhere to wash them. Why had he agreed to climb this tower, again?)

‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,’ Zelda said. ‘We don’t have to talk about this.’

‘Please don’t apologise!’ Warriors entreated. He took a deep breath, and added, ‘You didn’t deserve to be treated that way, and you deserve to be angry. I hope things are better for you now – that you’re taking time for yourself, doing fun things and making new friends. We might not have known each other for long, but I’d certainly consider you a friend, if that’s not too forward.’

‘You gonna call her Zelly too?’ Vio said eagerly, all anger quickly forgotten.

‘Er… did she actually agree to that?’ Warriors asked, eyes flickering over to Zelda.

‘It’s fine,’ she granted. ‘But seeing as how I’m not the only Zelda out there, wouldn’t it be better to come up with a different nickname? I use “Flora” as a pseudonym sometimes, if that works? Or we could use my middle name, Liliana.’

‘Flora,’ Vio decided. ‘Liliana is nice, but it’s a bit of a mouthful. And then Warriors and I can call you Flo or Flor or Flozza as a nick-nickname.’

Warriors gave her a bemused glance ‘How is “Flozza” a nickname? It’s longer than her actual name. And my point stands: shouldn’t we ask Zel- I mean Flora, what she prefers?’

‘No, nicknames are supposed to be annoying things that other people stick on you without asking,’ Vio insisted. ‘Why do you think I got stuck with “Vio” instead of something nice like Violet or Violetta?’

‘…Do you prefer those?’

‘No, no, it’s far too late for that,’ Vio declined. ‘I’m already doomed. Blame my siblings.’

Flora chuckled. ‘I don’t really mind,’ she said. ‘Though I must say, no one’s ever really had the gall to give me a nickname like that before. Not even Link, unless you count him coming up with new and exciting ways to make “Your Highness” sound like an insult.’

Warriors snorted. ‘Sounds about right. Impa – err, the Impa of my world at least – she does that sometimes. Though she’s very polite about it.’

‘Oh – your world has an Impa as well?’

‘Sure does, but I don’t think Vio’s does. Does it?’

‘No, but I do want to hear more about Flozza’s Impa,’ Vio piped up. ‘Ooh! But if we’re going to have a gossip session, we have to paint each other’s nails. Ah! And braid each other’s hair!’

‘Is that how this sort of thing works?’ Flora asked curiously.

‘Hell if I know, you think Four lets me host slumber parties? C’mon!’

‘Well… I’d love to, but I don’t actually have any nail polish. Or hair ties,’ Flora pointed out regretfully. ‘Not even at home. It’s not something I ever really… hmm…’

Vio deflated. ‘Urgh. And of course, I don’t either. I swear, I’m lucky if Four even bothers to brush his hair, most days, let alone do anything nice with it…’

Warriors hesitated. ‘I, uh…’ This was definitely opening himself up for ridicule, but he pressed on, ‘I do. Have nail polish, that is. And spare hair ties and ribbons. I know, weird things for a guy to be carrying, but –’

He jolted as Vio squealed with delight and buried her face in his chest, squeezing him in a tight hug. ‘Wars, you are the actual best,’ a muffled voice announced. Vio’s face re-emerged to ask, ‘You’re joining in, right? We can paint your nails too?’

‘…Would you want me to?’ he asked hesitantly. ‘Because if you’d prefer this to be just a girl thing, I can –’

‘Are you kidding?’ Vio demanded. ‘If you don’t wanna play, then tap out now. Otherwise, I’m gonna give you the best goddamn manicure you’ve ever seen. So, are you in, or not?’

He stared down at her and slowly nodded.

He was definitely in.

Hell yeah, he was in.

And that, as Warriors would later reflect, was the moment that command broke down.

The ancient device flew through the air on a whir of gears and a buzz of golden wings. Invisible to most, a thin thread of green connected the pilot to his real body, slowly growing tauter as the time passed. He held on for as long as he could, seeking out any sign to his target’s location, but inevitably the tug of the green thread became too strong to resist. Three chimes later, Sky was back in his own body, blinking his regular vision back into place.

‘Not close enough,’ he murmured. He turned to Red and said in a louder tone, ‘We’re going to have to move again. I still can’t reach him.’

‘Sure. But are you ok, Sky?’ Red asked anxiously. ‘You’re looking a little pale. Is it safe for you to be using that thing so much?’

Sky smiled affectionately at them. ‘Don’t worry about me. It’s just a little disorienting. I can manage.’

It was more than a little disorienting, he was finding, and the lack of sleep wasn’t helping. Sky was not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination, but apparently this era’s Link was. And so, he had hauled himself out of bed at the ungodly hour of sunrise – later than half the team, truth be told, but thankfully early enough to still get in place before Link strode confidently out, tossing bombs with his left hand.

(He’d been using his right hand to fight the other day. Was it still injured?)

Sky carefully scaled the cliff. He could have jumped and used his sailcloth, but that seemed like tempting fate when he was already shaky. It also would have meant leaving his new sibling behind. And Red was his new sibling, make no mistake; Sky had immediately taken to Four’s sweet, soft-spoken alter. He could ask for no better partner in their little game.

Speaking of which.

Sky raised his arm and readied himself. With a light click, the ancient device burst free from its holster and flew forth once more, taking his consciousness with it.

To his relief, Link soon came into view, dashing madly through the forest with a huge smile on his face. Sky couldn’t chuckle in that form, but his pincers clicked with amusement at the sight. It seemed the skittish hero had a playful side to him after all. Their various clumsy encounters may not have made for the most conventional of meetings, but Sky had always held faith that they’d reach each other in the end.

The Beetle started to give its usual warning tick. Sky pressed forward, making full use of the short time that remained. In his haste and exhaustion he grew careless, and saw the blonde teenager suddenly whirl towards him.

Link’s smile dropped. Bright blue eyes widened in shock and then narrowed dangerously, their sparkle shifting to something dreadfully cold. Sky had the briefest moment to recognise that something had gone very wrong before a bright yellow arrow was nocked and fired from Link’s bow. The shot pierced straight through the Beetle’s metallic exterior and into its mechanical core, throwing sparks in all directions. Sky gagged, green thread tugging insistently.

But Link wasn’t finished. The grim-faced hero dashed forward, glowing blue sword swiftly manifesting into his hand. Quicker than Sky could react, the blade drove straight through the faltering Beetle, shattering both the device and the pilot’s connection to it.

Everything went dark.

I have a question, Green announced. Do you think Sky would eat a serve of crunchy monster stew if I said Link made it specifically for him?

But he didn’t, a rather confused Red responded.

Green prodded the simmering pot of suspicious leftovers with the ladle Link had left behind, ignoring the subtle wince of the heroes seated nearby. Sure, he told Red, but if I theoretically said that anyway, do you think I could convince Sky to take a bite?

I mean, I guess I could ask? Red replied dubiously. He’s currently scouting for Link, but he should be back soon.

Wait, no! Don’t ask him! I want it to be a surprise!

Vio’s irate tone cut through Red’s confusion. Green, I’ve heard a lifetime’s worth of your “crunchy monster stew” commentary. Stop talking about it, stop thinking about it, stop wagering it on stupid, rigged card games with your fellow tag eliminees. If you have to be gross, then keep it to your damn self. Urgh.

No one said you had to listen.

Oh, good point. I’ll stop then. You’re not even in the game anymore, so why should I care what you have to say? Have fun in the timeout corner, loser, I have better and more important things to do.

The connection with Vio severed.

Well, there goes my adult supervision, Green noted with faux regret. ‘Hey, Blue: dare me to go fist fight the talus?’

Legend turned sharply in his direction. ‘Oh, no you don’t,’ he stated, snatching Green’s arm up in a vice-like grip.

Dumbass, Blue snickered.

Green winced. ‘Shit, I said that aloud, didn’t I?’

‘Sure did,’ a queasy Twilight agreed (wow, imagine losing three completely fair and non-manipulated card games in a row, what were the odds?).

What’s taking Sky so long? Red mused distractedly. W-wait – Sky?! Sky! Guys, something’s wrong!

Huh? Green shifted his vision over to Red’s eyes just in time to watch Sky collapse in their arms.

Link crouched over the fallen Guardian, poking distrustfully at its remains with the point of his sword.

The design was unfamiliar. The little insect-shaped machine looked nothing like the Guardians he was used to, or even like the prototypes he’d seen in Purah’s lab, and yet, it was clearly Sheikah technology. If he looked closely, he could even make out the familiar clan symbol to prove that point.

He cursed his own stupidity. As usual, he’d gotten so distracted chasing after novelties that he’d lost sight of what was important: where was Zelda?

Was she even really on the Great Plateau? Granted, the writing on the blackboard and the letter had perfectly matched both her hand and her personality, but if Zelda really was nearby, why wouldn’t she come to see him face to face? He may be a failure, but he wasn’t that unreliable. The Blood Moon had only just risen, for fuck’s sake, and instead of telling him where to go, Zelda wanted to play some bizarre game of tag with a bunch of strangers she’d just met?

For that matter, why had he so easily bought into that strange tale anyway? What evidence was there, really, to prove that these people were legendary heroes? They’d arrived right before the Blood Moon rose, right before that bizarre, overpowered bokoblin had appeared, right when everything started to go wrong.

These people were dangerous. Even the strange Hero of Darkness had cited some sort of “falling out” and warned him to stay away. How could Link have been so stupid?

He reached out with ferocity and grabbed the remains of the Guardian, stashing them into his slate for later investigation. The unknown new type of Guardian had gone down easily enough, but who was to say there weren’t more?

Link tapped away again at his Sheikah slate, and his clothes flashed and shifted into his stealth set. It looked like the strangers had split themselves into pairings: if he struck first, then those odds were simple enough to overcome. It shouldn’t be hard to find someone to question.

Quietly and with deadly focus, Link crept away through the woods.

He’s not waking up, a panicked Red reported. ‘Sky, c’mon, please…’

Calm down, Blue said sharply. Check his vitals: breathing and pulse. Then check for injuries. He’s ok, you’re ok. Stay focused.

If Red heard his words, they gave no sign. His beetle thing didn’t come back either, they continued to mutter. Did something happen? Is he dying?! What do I do?!

Red! Get a hold of yourself! Green snapped. I can see his chest moving. He’s still breathing. In fact, I think he’s starting to wake up. Look.

Red’s breathing was starting to turn light and shaky. What if he never wakes up? they fretted.

He’s waking up right now, Green tried again. C’mon, Red, it’s ok.

Vio, where the fuck are you? Blue snarled. Red’s panicking. They need you. NOW.

H-huh? You mean you can’t hear her either? Green asked. He thought back to Vio’s words earlier. Surely, she hadn’t accidentally…

The fuck is that supposed to mean?! Blue raged. Yeah, that bitch cut all of us off to go play with her new friends or whatever, and now Red’s freaking out, and if she’s not here to help, then I don’t fucking know how to –!

Red gasped and Blue instantly stopped ranting. Red? You ok? he asked frantically.

‘S-Sky?’ they called, and then, ‘Sky! You’re awake!’

Sky could tell that he had somehow managed to open his eyes, but his attempt to reach out to the crying hero above him remained stymied by a strange disconnect between mental intent and the motor controls required to act on it. It didn’t matter in the end: the moment Red realised he was awake, they threw themself at him in a fierce hug.

‘You’re awake. I’m so glad – I was so scared,’ they sobbed.

With clumsy limbs and a raspy voice, Sky did his best to soothe his companion. ‘It’s ok. I’m ok. Just… give me a moment…’

Red drew away with a slight hiccup, and swiped at their damp eyes. ‘Ok,’ they sniffled.

Sky gathered his strength and his wits and slowly lifted himself up from the ground. ‘Hngh. Remind me not to do that again,’ he grunted.

‘What happened?’ Red asked in a quavering voice. ‘You just collapsed all of a sudden.’

Sky grimaced, looking down at the empty holster on his wrist. ‘Yeah, that’ll do it.’ He drew in a shuddering breath. ‘I think I startled him pretty badly. Link, I mean. He…’ Sky paused to blink the black spots back once more. ‘He was really angry. He, urgh… he saw the Beetle, and…’

That same image of furious blue eyes flashed through Sky’s mind once more, and he flinched.

‘What happened to you?’ Red pressed insistently.

‘Recoil, I thingk,’ Sky slurred. ‘I normally get a… a bit disoriented, but this time he broke it, and…’ Talking was becoming difficult again, and Red’s panicked expression returned.

‘H-Hold on, I’ll call for help,’ Red told him, eyes going unfocused. ‘Blue! Green! Vio! Vio? Help, what do I do? Huh? Potions? Of course!’ They looked back at Sky. ‘D-do you have any potions with you? Like a s-stamina one, maybe? Blue says that might help.’

Sky nodded. ‘In my bag,’ he croaked. Mere moments later a bottle was being lifted to his lips. He drank obediently and felt the shakiness ebb away. He replaced the cork and shoved the empty bottle back into his bag, giving the tearful Red a reassuring smile. ‘Don’t worry; I’m fine,’ he said. ‘Just a little disoriented. Anyway, there’s a problem: Link was pretty upset, and I have a bad feeling about this. Zelda might know something about how he reacted. Can you check with Vio?’

Red nodded frantically. They were silent for a brief moment, before the muttering started up again. ‘C’mon, Vio, it’s important,’ they whined. ‘Don’t ignore me!’

Sky sighed. ‘Maybe try Blue?’ he suggested gently. ‘Time should have made it over there by now.’

‘Hmm…’ Red frowned in concentration, before their expression cleared into a smile of relief. ‘Okay! Time’s on his way!’ They looked back at Sky. ‘Are… are you really ok? Green says he can send Hyrule our way if you’re hurt.’

Sky smiled, and gave them a gentle hug. ‘I’m really ok, Red. Sorry for scaring you. Now, how about you and I find somewhere to hide? We’re still in the game, remember?’

As he took Red’s hand and began to lead the way, Sky decided to put his misgivings to rest for the moment.

Things would work out, somehow. They always did.

As Sky and Red settled into their new hiding place in the wooden structure near the river, Red heard two rather ominous words echo through their link with Blue.

‘Prank time,’ said Wind, with a broad smirk across his face.

Red winced. They were starting to regret listening in on the conversation.

Blue could be rather… prickly at times, and it was lovely to see him make a new friend, but they also couldn’t help but think that this particular friend may not be the best of influences.

In need of a second opinion, they reached for their connection with Green. Say, Green… they began. Umm… I don’t want to tell Blue not to play around with Wind or anything, I’m just not quite sure this is a good idea, is all… do you think you could –?

Nah, I’m not stepping in here. Let him and Wind have their fun. They can handle it.

Red swallowed. Um, Vio? I… know you’re busy right now, but… umm…

Vio did not respond.

Guess that’s that, Green concluded. Don’t worry: if she asks about this later, I’ll back you up.

Oh, goddesses, something bad’s going to happen, I just know it, Red fretted.

Nah, it’ll be fine. Ah, shoot – it’s my turn. We’re playing cards right now, so make sure to join us if you get tagged, ok? I reckon Twilight’ll tap out any minute now. Anyway: gotta go!

Red winced, and reached out for Vio one more time. Sis, c’mon, please?

There was no response.

Chapter Text

Atop the looming relic of ancient civilisation that was the Great Plateau Tower, thoroughly detached from the worries of the world below, Vio concluded her solemn tale: ‘In the end,’ she announced, ‘it took a full two weeks to confirm that they were human bones.’ Turning to the last princess of the fallen kingdom of Hyrule, Vio added, ‘Anyway, what’s your favourite novel, Florzy? Oh – wait, Wars, are you done with her nails? Ooh! Let me see!’

Having zoned out of the latter part of the conversation, Warriors wasn’t exactly sure how they had landed on the topics of human bone identification and/or favourite novels, but he nodded and gave a smile of satisfaction as he replaced the cap of the white polish.

Flora blew gently on her nails to dry them and then drew her hand back to marvel at the delicate lacework. ‘This is incredible,’ she praised. ‘How did you get so good at this, Warriors?’

He ducked his head with an embarrassed smile. ‘I, uh, I learned from Artemis, actually. That’s the Zelda of my own world. She’s still a lot better, of course.’

‘Don’t sell yourself short, Wars!’ Vio chided. ‘It’s gorgeous!’

He had to admit, he was proud of the results. Flora had asked for muted colours but let him choose the details, so he’d painted a pattern of white blossoms over a coral base, a stark contrast to Vio’s own black and purple. He took a moment to admire the shimmering gold paint and small blue gems that adorned his own nails: Vio had vowed to give him the best manicure he’d ever had, and despite the splotchy paint job and the clumsy, uneven patterning of the studs, he found that she’d delivered entirely on her promise.

‘So, what now?’ Flora asked. ‘We can do braiding I suppose? Or is this the part where we’re supposed to play truth or dare?’

‘Is it?’ Vio wondered. Both of them turned to Warriors as the only one of the three who held any experience with such things.

‘I mean, I guess?’ he mused. ‘Either that, or discussing the people we have crushes on, and I’ll be honest: I’ve got nothing there. Never have, probably never will.’

‘Yeah, screw it, we’re not doing that,’ Vio said dismissively. ‘Truth or dare it is. But no dares involving weird foods; I’m already nauseated enough.’

Flora made a face. ‘Agreed. I’ve learned my lesson there.’

‘Honestly, dares in general might be a little difficult right now,’ Warriors mused. ‘We don’t have a lot of space or tools to work with.’

‘We could just play “truth”, then?’ Flora suggested.

‘Yeah, I like it!’ said Vio.

‘Hold on, before we get started,’ Warriors said abruptly. ‘Vio, any news from below?’

She made a face. ‘No, they’ve all been quiet. Which is weird, and probably means they’re plotting something. Still, if anything went really wrong, I’m sure they’d tell me.’

‘Hmm… well, I suppose,’ Flora mused. ‘It’s just a little odd is all… Well, there’s plenty of time left before the deadline we set, I suppose. Let them have their fun. What’s the worst that could happen?’

Towards the north-western edge of the Great Plateau, several magical artefacts of varying potency lay scattered around the seated forms of one child and one quarter of an adult.

‘What the fuck is this?’ Blue exclaimed as he pulled a pale, misshapen mask from his face, revealing a broad grin. ‘All it does is make you want to dance!’

A gasp issued from behind Wind’s horrifyingly ill-fitting Great Fairy visage. ‘Wha – were you dancing?! I missed it! Do it again!’

‘Hell no, I wanna see you do it!’

‘What, you think I’m above dancing? Give it here!’

Blue sniggered and tossed the mask over to Wind. ‘It’s so weird. It doesn’t even have eyeholes; how can I see through it?’

‘Sure it has eyeholes. Right up here,’ Wind said, pointing to the small slits atop the deathly pale head and neck stitched onto the flesh-like surface of the mask. ‘Ominous, huh? Makes you think this must hold some awful sort of dark magic, right?’ Unconcernedly, he fitted the mask over his face and laughed with delight. ‘Oh, yeah! It’s pretty great, huh? Watch me go!’

Blue laughed riotously as Wind started to dance. An eerie tune pierced the air as the young sailor swayed and spun in time, finishing with a theatrical bow. Blue whistled and applauded.

‘Ok, your turn. Try this one,’ Wind urged as he handed Blue a set of bunny ears.

Blue scowled. ‘Now you’re just fucking with me.’

‘No, I promise – watch this.’ Wind donned the headpiece and dashed swiftly from side to side. ‘See? They make you run really fast. And if you combine it with your Pegasus Boots –’

‘Oh shit, you’re right,’ Blue realised. ‘Yeah, I’m on board. Give it here.’

Wind jumped out of the way of his grabby hands. ‘Don’t you think you’re forgetting the magic word?’

‘Kooloo-fucking-limpah,’ Blue deadpanned.

Wind snorted, tossing the bunny ears over. ‘See how fast you can go, then,’ he dared.

Pretty damn fast, it turned out, as Blue promptly dashed straight into a tree, which creaked and wobbled, half of its roots rising from the earth with a deep groan of complaint, before falling a moment later with several more cracks and snaps.

From his sprawled position on the ground, Blue gazed on with awe in his eyes. On the one hand: ouch, that hurt (a lot). On the other hand: holy shit, that was awesome.

‘Hey, you still kicking over there?’ Wind called out.

‘Yeah, I think so,’ Blue replied, shaking off the twigs, dirt, bruises and vertigo.

‘Well, in that case: check this shit out.’

Blue turned to gaze upon Wind’s latest mask: a smooth orb of navy-blue adorned with a white skull. Without further explanation, Wind began a countdown. ‘Three… two… one…’

His face exploded.

‘What the fuck?!’ Blue yelled. He rushed over to the fallen child, but by the time he made it there, Wind was already picking himself up from the ground, pulling the mask away with a shaky grin.

‘That one packs a punch,’ he breathed.

‘Uh, hey, not to point out the obvious or anything, but your head just exploded,’ Blue stated. ‘And not in a cool figurative sense, it literally just exploded. How are you not dead?’

Wind shrugged. ‘Magic?’

‘Yeah, sure, I guess,’ Blue accepted hesitantly. ‘Uh, so do you need a potion or anything?’

Wind rolled out his shoulder and cracked his neck. ‘I think I’m good. Anyway, we have a few options now, and there’s only so much time before the old man returns. Wanna go mess with the new Link?’

Blue glanced uncertainly over the edge of the Great Plateau. ‘What’s the plan, anyway? The kid was supposed to come this way at some point, right? The princess thought so, at least. That’s why she stuck us out here.’

‘He’ll go whichever way we direct him,’ Wind answered. ‘We just need to draw his attention. Some loud noise should do.’

‘How loud are we talking?’

‘How loud do you think that talus thing gets?’

Blue looked at Wind. Wind looked back.

‘No idea,’ Blue answered. ‘Let’s find out.’

‘Forget it! You’re definitely cheating!’ Twilight announced, throwing down his hand of cards.

‘S-sorry, I don’t really get it either,’ Hyrule stammered. He stared incredulously at his own cards. ‘How do I keep drawing all these aces? There’s only supposed to be four in a deck, right?’

‘Just lucky, I guess,’ Legend replied, giving him an affectionate pat on the shoulder.

Crouched low on the ground at a safe distance, Link’s lips moved in silent “tch” of disapproval. The four travellers he’d sighted earlier had regrouped, and the resulting odds were unfavourable indeed. He hadn’t seen Twilight fight but knew that the other three at least were formidable with their respective weapons. He had a few options, but all of them were risky: he could try to draw a few of them away with a whistle, he could try ranged attacks, he could try an ambush…

Thinking about it further, all of this could have been avoided if he’d been less of a moron earlier, if he’d dealt with Legend and Green or with Hyrule and Twilight when it was only two of them at once, if he’d only seen past their ridiculous game earlier, if he hadn’t gotten so stupidly distracted –

Green let out a sudden, inexplicable burst of laughter, startling Link and apparently also the other three people gathered around the fire. A chorus of complaints followed, and Green mumbled something that might have been either an apology or an explanation. Link’s pounding heart drowned out both sounds, and he almost missed the moment Twilight’s gaze skipped towards his location.

He froze. Had he been spotted? The glance was brief, but not brief enough to calm Link’s nerves. Should he run? Should he attack? What if they had Zelda with them, what if –?

‘You know what?’ Twilight said, cutting through Link’s spiralling thoughts. ‘I’ve had enough of this. Let’s play a different card game.’ He reached for the deck, scooped up each person’s cards in turn and started to shuffle. ‘Let’s see… ah, I have an idea. I learned it from Sky last night, but we didn’t really have the chance to play at the time.’

‘He had time to teach you Old Maid in between carving dozens of signs and teaching you how to not be a stick in the mud?’ an unimpressed Legend asked.

‘Well, not Old Maid,’ Twilight said contemplatively. ‘But he did teach me a new game. Ever heard of fifty-two card pickup?’

‘No?’ Hyrule replied curiously. ‘What’s that?’

In answer, Twilight tossed the deck over Legend’s head, scattering cards everywhere. Shouts of surprise burst from both Legend and Hyrule, while Green erupted into laughter once again.

‘What the fuck, farm boy,’ Legend sputtered. ‘Since when did you even –?’

‘Have fun,’ Twilight advised before leaping to his feet and dashing off in the opposite direction to Link’s hiding spot.

Legend gave chase, yelling, ‘Get back here, arsehole!’ Green only laughed harder, and even Hyrule let out a light chuckle as he started half-heartedly picking up the fifty-two cards.

Distinctly off-balance, Link continued to watch. Was this… supposed to be some sort of trap? Twilight must have seen him; why would he suddenly split their group like that?

‘I didn’t expect that,’ Hyrule admitted.

‘Sky definitely corrupted him,’ Green chortled.

Laughter was contagious. Unfortunate but true. There was no other reason for Link’s lips to be curving up in a smile.

(It was kind of funny.)

Link shook off the invasive thought and did his best to focus. Zelda: that was what was important.

He needed information, and to get that information he needed the right opportunity. Getting caught in a trap would waste time, and he couldn’t trust the situation before him. It wasn’t as if he had no other options, after all: there were eight of these people in total – or eleven, rather, if he understood Four’s ability correctly. All he had to do was keep moving, find someone else and avoid getting caught this time. In fact, thinking about it further: wasn’t there an even simpler way to turn things in his favour? This was his own territory after all, and he was well aware of the tools at his disposal. If the others could send him through distractions and traps, why should he not do the same? What better way to burn off the jittery energy coursing through his body?

‘Guess we’re playing tag after all,’ Link murmured to himself, grin returning with a new, malicious edge. As quietly as he could, he drew away, turning to the south-west.

Twilight slowed and then halted beside a pond at the outskirts of the forest. Catching up a moment later, Legend caught him in a headlock and gave a half-hearted noogie.

‘Haah… what a terrible influence our dear Hero of the Sky is. You used to be such a good boy, too,’ Legend mourned. In a quieter tone, he added, ‘Did the kid follow us?’

‘I don’t think so,’ Twilight murmured. He pulled away and looked at Legend. ‘Did you spot him too, then?’

‘No. But I didn’t think you’d pull a prank like that for no reason,’ Legend replied. ‘You’re not me.’ He squinted up at the Sheikah Tower, looked back to Twilight, and added, ‘What’s your verdict, then? How worried should we be about Sky’s “bad feeling”?’

Twilight made a face. ‘How should I know? I barely even saw him.’

‘Well, was he armed? Her Highness did say something about how he might try to assassinate us if he got the wrong idea.’

Twilight scowled. ‘Is that why you let him catch you first?’

‘What, you think I volunteered to eat gross penalty stew? Not my fault I’m bad at tag.’

‘Surprisingly bad at tag, considering how many magic items you own,’ Twilight noted. His expression darkened. ‘Don’t treat him like a rabid dog. He’s just a kid.’

‘So was I,’ Legend replied calmly. ‘So were you, once. Did your mind, your needs, your desires and your capacity for anger and fear all suddenly manifest into existence when you hit legal adulthood? That must’ve been confusing.’

‘Don’t sass me on this, Legend. I’m serious.’

‘So am I. You think I’m treating him like a rabid dog? I think you’re treating him like a wounded little puppy who won’t survive without your pity.’ Legend eyed Twilight idly. ‘He’s survived a while without your pity, you know?’

‘It’s not pity,’ Twilight argued. ‘It’s just –’

‘Yeah, yeah, it’s just that you’re a bleeding-heart softie who doesn’t know how to deal with shitty kids full of shitty trauma,’ Legend sighed. The wind picked up briefly. Legend looked down to the puddle and watched their reflections ripple and distort as he continued, ‘My advice? Don’t be too surprised when that cute little puppy bites your helping hand. The gods all know my younger self would have.’

A brief pause. Without turning to watch, he heard Twilight ask, ‘And your older self won’t?’

‘Sure, but once you get old enough, trauma stops being cute, harmless and ignorable and people start expecting you to bite their hand,’ Legend pointed out sourly. ‘Saves time, honestly. Their hands are going to get bitten either way, whether they expect it or not, and I’d rather be seen as a monster than not really be seen at all.’

The image in the puddle did not provide sufficient warning, nor did the soft sigh from the hero standing beside him. Legend stumbled and sputtered in surprise as Twilight dragged him into a noogie of his own. ‘What the fuck?! Hands off, farm boy, you’re way too strong for your own good!’

The grinning hero loosened his grasp but left an arm around Legend’s shoulders. ‘And you’re way too young to be so cynical,’ he returned gently. He patted Legend’s head in a rather condescending way. ‘Don’t worry: teeth or no, you’ll always be a cute little puppy to me.’

Legend scowled. ‘That has no meaning coming from you, pup.’

Twilight's grin widened, though it looked a little forced. ‘Flattering of you to say so. We don't all have the courage to display our teeth so openly, you know. Maybe I just lack your honesty?’

Legend rolled his eyes. ‘Or maybe you’re underestimating my ability to put two and two together?’

‘…What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘You’re a smart boy, I’m sure you’ll figure it out eventually,’ Legend shot back. ‘Anyway, going back to my original question: should we be worried about assassination attempts?’

Twilight rubbed his temples. ‘From the brief glance I had? No. I don’t think he was planning on assassinating anyone. And nor do you, really, do you? Or do you expect me to believe you’d leave Hyrule and Green behind to play fifty-two card pickup if there was any real risk to their lives?’

Legend startled. ‘Huh?!’ Self-recrimination hit with the force of a brick wall. ‘Fuck. I’m a moron. Let’s go back.’

Twilight’s grin returned, arm tightening around Legend. ‘Hey, what’s the rush, vet? I’m sure it’s fine. You have good instincts, after all.’

Legend shoved him away and started walking off. ‘Fuck you, farm boy. How’s this for instincts, then? Assassination plots aside, if we don’t go and stop them soon then Hyrule will wander off and get lost, Green will go find a giant monster to start a fight with and one or both of them will set fire to something.’

‘Fair,’ Twilight allowed. He sighed. ‘Remind me to never have kids of my own. All of these younger siblings will be the death of me as it is. There’s no way I could handle any more stress than that.’

‘Ditto. Here’s hoping the new kid ends up being less of a handful.’

Link had a plan. It wasn’t necessarily a good or clever plan, but then again, very few of the plans Link made when he was feeling antsy were good or clever plans.

He stood before the small dell with a rocky mound at its centre and took a moment to inspect his surroundings one last time. To the best of his knowledge, he was in the clear as far as any heroes, self-proclaimed or otherwise, were concerned. Without further ado, Link dashed onto the rock pile. He paused for a few moments as he felt it start to shift beneath his feet, and then jumped away at the last minute as, with a resounding crack of stone on stone, the talus rose from the ground to loom above him.

Link waved cheerily. ‘Hey Rocky, long time no see,’ he greeted. ‘What do you say to a nice game of tag?’

Rocky obligingly tossed a boulder his way. Link leapt away with a laugh, ignoring the slight twinge of pain that hit upon landing. ‘Nice shot,’ he called. ‘But do try to keep up.’

It was always hard to tell if verbal taunts registered with gigantic stone monsters, but the important part was that the talus continued its attempt to murder him. The ground trembled with each step it took, and Link’s grin widened at the resulting racket.

Perfect.

‘C’mon, give us another shot,’ Link called. ‘I believe in you, Rocky!’

A muffled crash and bang broke through the conversation at the top of the Great Plateau Tower. All eyes turned to watch as a flock of small birds evacuated the premises.

‘That, uh,’ Warriors began, ‘wouldn’t happen to be the location of the talus, would it?’

It sure looked like it, Vio acknowledged internally, brow knitting at the sight.

Flora murmured something under her breath about farming and forestry. In a louder tone, she added, ‘Vio, what’s the current state?’

‘Give me a moment,’ Vio replied. Reaching for her psychic connections, she asked, Ok, Green, what the hell did you do this time?

Huh? You’re speaking to us again? Green replied casually.

What do you mean “Huh? You’re speaking to us again”?! I look away for five minutes and you pick a fight with the fucking talus!

Ok, one: it was a whole hour, not five minutes. Two: you didn’t look away, you cut off contact. With ALL of us. By accident, I hope? If it was on purpose, Blue’s gonna be pissed. And three: against all odds, I did not pick a fight with the talus. Back me up, Red. Blue.

Huh? Vio’s back? Red asked, relief clear in their tone.

Vio?! ‘Vio, you fucking bitch, FUCK YOU!’ Blue yelled both psychically and physically. Distantly, Vio heard Wind ask for an explanation, and felt Blue wave him off.

Vio took a deep breath. Ok, look, that’s fair, she began. I made a mistake and I may have gotten distracted and I may have –

Fuck you, Red had a fucking panic attack, where the fuck were you?! Ignore me if you want, ignore Green every fucking day of the week, but you don’t get to fucking ignore Red. Fuck you.

Vio’s eyes widened. Hold on, what? Red, are you ok?!

Sounding rather harried, Red replied, I’m fine! I’m completely fine! I might have freaked out a little, but Blue, you can stop making such a big deal of it already! Sheesh! You and Vio don’t have to watch over me every second of the day. Anyway –

Yeah. Anyway, Green agreed. Blue, you’re the one most in need of supervision. Were you going to tell her the part where you decided to go and headbutt the talus, or was that my job?

Green, you fucking traitor.

Blue, did you headbutt the talus? Vio asked calmly. Because from my current vantage point, it looks a lot like someone headbutted the talus.

Wasn’t me, but it will be. Fucking watch. I’m going to headbutt the talus so hard you’ll end up with bruises and a fucking concussion after we merge. What, you think you can stop me? Fuck off.

He severed the connection.

Vio sighed. Red, Green. Can one or both of you please tell me what is going on right now?

They did. Vio listened carefully, and did her best not to start screaming at the top of her lungs. Children. You are all children, she contented herself with saying. I cannot leave you unsupervised for one hour.

Hey, not our fault you hog all the braincells when we split, Green responded.

Vio shook her head in exasperation. ‘Warriors, Flora,’ she said aloud. ‘There’s been a complication. Or, uh, two.’

Link tossed another bomb and paused, gasping for breath, while the talus regenerated itself. Rocky was getting faster, he mused. Or was he himself getting slower? Either way, he’d been dodging for a while, but as yet, the noise didn’t seem to have drawn any attention. He’d give it a few more minutes to be safe, and then leave the talus’ territory, find a nice vantage point, and –

A boulder flew at him. He swerved away, tripping as he did and falling to the ground. The mostly (partially) healed bruises across his chest screamed in protest, and the distraction nearly cost Link several more bruises when the second attack was launched his way.

The talus took a moment to rearm itself, which Link judged as his cue to dash forward and land a light tap against the weak spot on its back. The talus swiftly righted itself and gave a hard shake, but Link had already jumped away. Ignoring that sudden, forceful premonition that he might be making some bad life choices, he dashed to the side and tossed another bomb. It seemed mere moments later that the talus recovered enough to return fire.

‘You’re getting better at that, huh,’ Link panted. The sound of his own raspy voice made him wince: why was he so damn tired already?! He’d rested a full night and slept through most of the day before that, and he was barely even injured anymore. How very impolite of his body to not listen to reason.

It was about that moment that a boulder slammed into his right shoulder and an involuntary cry of pain choked its way out of his lungs. Desperately, he scrambled back, reaching for his Sheikah Slate once more. Forget the plan – whatever his plan had been – forget everything, he decided. He was not about to get killed by a fucking talus.

He was back on his feet with a bomb in his hand when a sharp crack rang through the clearing. The deep blue blur that had flown in from the side resolved itself into a short figure wearing a huge scowl and an adorable pair of bunny ears (what?) and wielding an oversized hammer. The talus lurched back and fell and the newcomer took a second swipe, albeit without the momentum of the first.

‘Hey! New Link!’ Four (wait, no: this one had to be Blue) yelled. ‘What’s this thing’s weak point again?’

Too stunned to really think things through, Link heard himself call back, ‘On its back! You should see a cluster of dark stone!’

The talus was starting to lift itself up again. Link tossed the bomb he held at one of its arms, well to the side of his unexpected ally. The talus collapsed as he detonated the bomb, and, without missing a beat, Blue climbed up its other arm and swung at the weak point one, twice, three times.

‘Get back!’ Link yelled as he saw the talus starting to rise. Idly, he recalled that he really had no reason to help these people, in fact, hadn’t part of his plan been –?

Blue scrambled away just in time. The talus straightened and shook out its regenerated arms with a mighty rattle.

‘Wind!’ Blue yelled.

There was an explosion from behind, and the talus’ left arm crumbled. Link didn’t wait to puzzle that one out; he lobbed another bomb at the remaining arm and swiftly detonated it. As the talus collapsed, he summoned an iron sledgehammer and promptly dropped it, damaged shoulder throbbing with agony. A lighter, one-handed weapon quickly replaced his first choice, but Blue was already in place, and, with a few well-placed strikes, the talus went down, crumbling into dust, pebbles and tantalising monster loot.

‘Huh,’ said Blue. ‘That was easier than I thought. Guess Zelda was freaking out over nothing.’

Link flinched at the reminder. He swiftly strode forward and demanded, ‘Where is Zelda? If you’ve hurt her, then I swear –’

Blue rolled his eyes. ‘No one’s hurting your precious princess, arsehole. Also, you’re welcome.’

‘I didn’t need help,’ he spat. ‘Cut the bullshit. Where is she?’

‘Hiding somewhere nearby,’ a new voice answered. ‘What, you think we’ll reveal her location for free?’ The youngest of the group of travellers strode over to look him over, eyes focusing immediately on Link’s injured shoulder.

Link felt his stomach drop. Why did it have to be the kid? Weirdness of the bunny ears and the fact that he'd just been rescued aside, he didn’t mind shaking Blue down for answers if need be, but there was no way he could do the same to a child.

‘You look like shit,’ Wind commented. He rummaged through his hip pouch and pulled out a glass bottle. ‘Here – have a potion.’

‘I don’t need one,’ Link said tightly.

Wind surveyed him with an inscrutable expression, before shrugging and tucking the potion back into place with a short nod. ‘If you say so. Anyway, if you want to know Zelda’s location that bad, I can probably cut you a deal. For the right price, that is.’

Link scowled. ‘Oh? And what is the right price?’

‘Easy,’ said Wind. ‘Tell me how that trick you did back at the cliff works.’

‘Uh…’ Link replied intelligently, ‘what?’

‘Yeah!’ Wind affirmed with an excitable nod. ‘The one where you somehow managed to blow yourself up without blowing yourself up. I’ve been curious all this time.’

‘…And if I tell you that, you’ll take me to Zelda?’

‘Hell no,’ Wind said firmly. ‘I’ll tell you where to find her, but if anyone asks, you didn’t hear it from me.’

Link nodded tersely. ‘I see.’ He considered for a brief moment (sure, this whole thing was a bad joke, but so was most of his life), before replying, ‘Tell me where Zelda is, and also tell me where the hell that new Guardian thing came from. Then sure, I’ll explain that trick of mine.’

Wind tilted his head. ‘Guardian thing?’

Link scowled. He tapped his Sheikah Slate and produced the remains of the tiny machine. ‘This.’

‘Oh! Sky’s Beetle,’ Wind realised. Understanding bloomed in his eyes and he shook his head firmly. ‘Not a Guardian. It doesn’t even come from this era. See, it’s a different design, right?’ He prodded carefully at the parts Link held out, lifting a pair of dislocated pincers and tapping his finger against the cutters. ‘These are a little sharp, I guess, but the rest of it couldn’t hurt a fly. It’s not what you’re thinking. Just a tool Sky uses for scouting. And pranks.’

Link stared down at the broken device. ‘You’re serious?’

‘Yeah. Promise.’

Link inspected Wind’s face for any sign of a lie. He found none. He took a shuddering breath and turned his eyes instead to the broken object held in his hand. The device was flimsy, clumsy and lacking any of the finesse of the Sheikah technology he was used to. A pair of harmless, cartoonish eyeballs peered emptily out of the pile as if mocking his paranoia.

With a flash of blue, the device’s remains disappeared back into his slate, replaced by Zelda’s letter – and clearly, it was Zelda’s letter, down to the two neatly inscribed postscripts. Link unfolded it with a shaky hand and scanned over its contents once more.

He shook his head and muttered, ‘Holy shit, I’m a moron. I overreacted again, didn’t I?’ The shame threatened to choke him. He swallowed it down. ‘I… sorry. I know a few Sheikah researchers, so I’ll ask… they can probably get that thing fixed…’

He didn’t look, but he felt Wind step closer, trepidation in the movement as if he was about to say something important. Blue cut in before he could.

‘Sky says not to worry about it,’ he told Link abruptly. ‘And he says he’s sorry for scaring you. Just so you know.’

Link stared at him. ‘Sky said that? But where –? How did –?’

‘Oh! That reminds me, actually!’ Wind interrupted brightly. ‘Blue, I went ahead and asked for my thing, but you’re in on this too, right? Don’t you want to tell Link the price of your compliance? I mean, sure, it’s only tag, but betraying Zelda means betraying Vio too.’

‘Forget about it,’ said Link. ‘I can find her on my own. Shouldn’t be too hard.’ He sighed, reaching out to tap both of them on the shoulder. ‘Tag, by the way.’

‘Shoot, I forgot you didn’t do that earlier,’ Wind realised. ‘But wait, hold on: I still want to know how your bomb thing works! If you don’t want to know Zelda’s location, then I can always trade you a potion for it?’

Link gazed at him sceptically. ‘Is that a standard currency around you people?’

‘Huh? What’s that supposed to mean?’ Wind asked curiously.

Link shrugged. ‘Well, whatever. Answer’s no. I better get going.’

‘Aww, c’mon,’ he heard Wind wheedling from behind as he strode away. ‘Won’t you stay a little longer? There’s no way you’re getting up the tower with your shoulder all battered and bruised like that.’

Link paused.

‘Up the tower?’ he asked.

‘Whoops,’ Blue drawled. ‘Guess that cat’s out of the bag.’

‘Whoops,’ Wind agreed. ‘Eh. Call that one a freebie, then. Yeah, Zelda, Vio and Warriors are all holed up together on top of the big blue Sheikah Tower.’

The tower.

It made sense. Zelda likely knew he’d been injured the other day, so why make it easy for him? For all she knew, he still had a sprained arm to contend with, so anywhere requiring climbing or gliding would naturally be the last place he would look. Link looked askance at his recently reinjured arm: if only he’d been a little more careful…

‘Is she safe?’ he asked cautiously.

‘As far as we know, yeah,’ Blue replied with a careless shrug.

‘Yes, she’s safe,’ Wind said firmly. ‘Warriors and Vio are with her, and Time should be somewhere nearby as well. They won’t let her get hurt.’

Link let out the breath he’d been holding. His shoulders sagged. ‘Ok. Alright then.’

‘Great. So, don’t you think you owe me some answers now?’ Wind cajoled. ‘C’mon. I’ll even give you that red potion in exchange – or better, we can invite Hyrule over to patch you up. Potions only do so much, after all. They heal you, but not as much as it feels like they heal you. They’re designed to let adventurers keep adventuring and to let fighters keep fighting, so they tend to mask whatever they don’t fix.’

Was that true? Link had never heard it (as far as he could remember), but he had to admit: it explained a few things, starting with how those mostly healed injuries of his were really starting to sting.

‘It’s fine,’ he heard himself reply automatically.

‘Yeah, but it’s not going to be easy to climb like that, is it?’

Link scowled. Certainly, Wind had a point, much as it stung his pride to admit it. ‘How does Hyrule factor into this, anyway?’ he asked. ‘Does he want to learn bomb impact launch techniques too?’

Wind shrugged. ‘Eh, he might, I guess. Regardless, he owes me a favour or two. But mostly he just likes healing people. He’s kind of peeved at you for running off on him the other day, you know.’

‘Why?’ Link asked. ‘It’s not like he’s responsible for me or anything.’

‘He likes helping people. He’s a helpful guy,’ Wind said impassively. ‘Blue, can you let Green know?’

‘They’re already on their way,’ Blue replied.

Link glanced over to him curiously. ‘So, what did you want out of this, anyway? You know, payment for betraying your sibling or alter ego or whatever Vio is?’

Blue shrugged. ‘I mean, it’s already done, so why should I care?’

‘Hey! If he’s offering then you may as well name your price,’ Wind critiqued. ‘Negotiation one-oh-one, you dumbass.’

Blue paused to consider this new information. ‘Five rupees?’ he suggested eventually.

Both Wind and Link raised eyebrows. ‘At least ask for fifty,’ Wind urged. Link quietly nodded.

‘Fifty, then,’ Blue agreed, and tossed a purple rupee at Link. ‘Give her hell.’

‘Huh,’ said Wind.

‘Huh,’ said Link.

If any of the other parts of Four had anything to say about that, the only clue was a slight frown and a dismissive shrug.

Link stowed the prepaid bounty away in his slate and turned to Wind. ‘I can tell you how it works for me, but there are a few specific things you need,’ he explained. ‘Don’t go crying foul if you can’t replicate it.’

‘Deal,’ Wind said solemnly. ‘Now, talk.’

Chapter Text

‘Slow down, you maniac,’ Green protested breathlessly from somewhere far behind Hyrule, who gave the request no mind and continued to charge forward much like a maniac.

The noise from ahead had long since faded, but Hyrule could tell he was getting close to its source. It was for this reason alone that, approximately twenty metres away from the target, he finally forced himself to slow his steps into something vaguely resembling a calm and civilised approach.

He spotted Link immediately, seated on a small boulder with Wind and Blue lounging close by. Hyrule’s eyes zeroed in on the stain that marred Link’s blue tunic – small, but noticeable, even at a distance – and to the way he gestured with his left hand only as he spoke.

‘It might be possible, but the issue is timing,’ Link was saying. ‘My bombs can be detonated remotely, but yours have a set countdown. It’s even easier for me, since I can slow down time when I’m falling.’

‘It’s not really slowing down time, though, is it?’ Wind pondered. ‘I mean, if time moved normally for you and slow for everything else, gravity would still work normally, right? That’s how it was for me, at least. I think in your case it’s more that you’re speeding up your own perception and movement.’

Link nodded sagely. ‘You may be right. In any case, I think it would be difficult for you to replicate it. The only way I can think of is if you find a ledge, wait for the last moment and then jump down and put your shield in the way. But you’d really have to be careful with the timing, and it’d be pretty easy to screw it up. I doubt you could pull it off in a stressful situation.’

‘Hmm. I’ll have to have a think about that one,’ Wind said absently. ‘There should be a way to make it work… maybe if I use my leaf…’

Link’s gaze turned thoughtful, and he opened his mouth to say something before his gaze abruptly snapped towards Hyrule. He tensed.

Hyrule approached and looked him over. The shoulder injury looked even worse up close, but the lack of screaming and vomiting was probably a good sign. Or a very bad one. Hard to tell. He leaned in and gently turned Link’s chin to inspect the wound at the back of his head.

‘Uh… what are you doing?’ he heard Link ask, voice a little muffled around Hyrule’s hand.

The wound looked much better than he had expected, but then again, on that first night at least a not-insignificant part of Hyrule hadn’t even expected to see Link alive again, let alone conscious and moving around so soon after the injury. The relief at seeing him was nearly enough to overwhelm Hyrule, but he choked it down, deciding there would be time for that later.

‘Any headaches? Or dizziness?’ he asked. He moved his hand from Link’s chin and instead shifted to inspect his pupils.

Link’s gaze was clear, lacking any of the cloudiness or disorientation Hyrule had been searching for. If anything, he appeared confused by the question. ‘No, I only injured my shoulder?’ he answered. ‘I don’t think it’s dislocated or broken or anything, but it feels a bit bruised. Wind said you might be willing to help? I can pay.’

Hyrule clenched his teeth against all the things he wanted to say about that. Swiftly wresting control over himself, he replied, ‘Payment isn’t necessary. Is it alright if I remove your tunic? Actually, I might need to cut it…’

Link gave a one-armed shrug. He fiddled briefly with his Sheikah Slate and his tunic and undershirt disappeared, leaving him bare-chested in his plain trousers.

Hyrule sucked in a breath as Link’s scars were revealed. It was one thing to hear the story from Flora but quite another to see the dreadful patterns of shredded and burnt flesh for himself. With no small amout of effort, he forced himself to focus on the task at hand.

The shoulder Link had described as “a bit bruised” was a swelling, sluggishly bleeding partial dislocation still studded with small shards of rock. He’d also neglected to mention the deep, colourful bruising across his abdomen – likely another lingering injury from the battle on the night of the Blood Moon. Pursing his lips, Hyrule dug through his bag for a set of tweezers.

‘Sorry, but this will probably hurt,’ he warned Link, who merely shrugged again and had the audacity to ask, ‘You sure I don’t need to pay for this?’

Hyrule’s internal screaming sure was getting loud.

‘Hey, if he changes his mind, it’s on me, not you, remember?’ Wind chimed in. ‘Speaking of which, I had an idea for a workaround on the whole bomb timing issue. I can’t do it on my own, but with some teamwork, maybe…’

Hyrule saw Link relax as he allowed himself to be distracted by whatever Wind was saying. Leaving them to it, he gently cleared and disinfected the small wounds (Link didn’t flinch at all; what the hell) before closing his eyes to focus on letting magic flow through his splayed fingers and into the damaged tissue.

Minutes passed. Hyrule let the conversation wash over him for the most part, ignoring the moment that a wheezing Green finally caught up and flopped down beside the others. It was only when Hyrule shifted his hands from Link’s shoulder to his chest that Link’s attention turned back to him. ‘Hey, what are you doing?’

‘Treating your injuries,’ Hyrule replied distractedly.

Link shook his head and pushed Hyrule’s hands away. ‘Don’t worry about those,’ he said. ‘I should get going anyway.’ With another flash of blue, Link’s bloodstained tunic reappeared and he lifted himself up from his seat, stretching out his right arm with a surprised expression. ‘Huh. You did a good job. Thanks.’

‘Wind, Blue, Green,’ Hyrule said calmly. ‘Formation P.’

‘Formation what now?’ Link had time to ask before Wind, Blue and Green tackled the reluctant convalescent to the ground and sat on his arms and legs. ‘The fuck?!’ he yelled.

‘’Rule wasn’t done,’ Wind pointed out. ‘What, you think I’ll let you leave before I pay my debts?’

‘I’m fine,’ Link insisted with a deep scowl.

‘Are you going to play nice, or do I have to enact Formation PA?’ Hyrule demanded. Without waiting for an answer, he started feeding magic into his patient once again, searching out any sign of internal injuries. Thankfully, there didn’t seem to be any beyond heavily bruised muscles.

‘What even is “Formation PA”?’ he heard Link ask.

‘Like Formation P, but with added Aggression,’ Wind supplied. ‘The “P” stands for “Platonically crush the target with your bodies, thus Preventing its escape”. So, really, it should be Formation PP, but when I suggested that, Legend said –’

‘That we’re not all twelve fucking years old,’ Legend finished as he and Twilight approached.

Link tensed and started to struggle. ‘It’s just Lege and Twi,’ Wind assured him. To Legend he added, ‘Geez, mister, swearing in front of the poor, innocent twelve-year-old. What would Time say?’

‘Good question,’ Legend replied. ‘Where is Time? He was definitely supposed to be with you, you definitely weren’t supposed to be anywhere near the fucking talus and Green was definitely supposed to tell us if anything major happened. What the fuck happened to that whole plan?’

‘Well,’ said Green. ‘About that –’

‘Can I get up now?’ Link pleaded.

Hyrule opened his mouth to say something harsh, but closed it upon seeing the genuine panic in Link’s expression. He relented. ‘You get one chance. Promise not to run until I’ve finished treating you?’

Link nodded reluctantly, Hyrule nodded even more reluctantly, and thus, the truce was struck and the formation disassembled. Link breathed a sigh of relief as he sat up and put his back to the boulder, staying obediently still while Hyrule finished treating his chest and shifted to take another look at the back of his head. The injury wasn’t really so bad if Link’s nonchalance was to be trusted – which it definitely wasn’t, who was Hyrule kidding, he’d fix that damn head wound if it was the last thing he did.

‘Don’t overuse your magic, ’Rule,’ Legend cautioned. ‘We have spare red potions if you need them.’

‘It’s fine,’ Hyrule told him. Potions were useful enough for stabilising injuries and boosting natural healing, but they just weren’t as thorough as his spells, nor could Hyrule rest calm without actually feeling for himself if the magic had worked as it should. ‘I’m almost done, anyway,’ he added.

‘Seriously, don’t bother, it’s fine,’ Link protested. ‘You already fixed my shoulder. You don’t have to waste magic or potions on the other stuff.’

Waste.

The anger Hyrule had been doing his best to choke back burst into flame anew. ‘It’s not a damn waste,’ he snapped. He sent a final, aggressive pulse of healing magic into the head wound and then dropped to his knees and grabbed Link by the collar. He flinched, and Hyrule did the same in response, but he didn’t draw back. ‘It’s not,’ he repeated quietly. ‘You can have every potion I own. You can have every last drop of healing magic I have to give. I’ll offer it freely, and I won’t resent it, no matter what. It’s not a waste.’

He let Link’s collar go and reached into his bag again, fumbling for the item he needed. ‘Take this back,’ he ordered as he shoved the vial of murky red potion at its former owner. ‘I don’t need it. You need it. Especially if you’re going to make a habit of teleporting away on your own while seriously hurt. I thought you were dead.’

Link’s expression tightened. ‘Yeah? Well, I wasn’t. The fuck is your problem? Fine: I got in your way the other night, but I got out of it as quickly as I could. If my slate hadn’t malfunctioned, I’d be halfway across the map by now. I don’t know why Zelda ended up here or what she told you, but I’m not a hero, you don’t have to act like I am, and you don’t owe me anything.’

‘Sure! I don’t!’ Hyrule yelled back. ‘Beyond the fact that you saved my life, and beyond the fact that you saved Legend’s life, and that even if I could repay you for the former there’s no way I could ever repay the latter? Beyond all that, sure: I don’t owe you anything. If you say it, then I guess it’s true. But guess what? I don’t need to owe you anything. I don’t even need you to be a hero. You could be in debt to me ten times over and I’d still heal you, and it wouldn’t be a waste.

‘It’s not like I don’t get it, you know?’ he said in a softer tone. ‘Feeling like you’re not worth it. Feeling like you shouldn’t exist. Feeling like you failed, and like the world becomes a worse place because you’re in it. You think you’re the only one who’s ever felt that way? You think I don’t still feel that way sometimes? Because I do, and when I do, Legend comes over and reminds me to take care of myself and to not be an enormous self-sabotaging mess. If I have to be the Legend in your life then I will.

‘And how’s this for a new and exciting idea: Zelda loves you. A lot, you know? You’re her best friend and she wants you to be safe and happy more than anything else. Think of her and how much she cherishes you next time you start thinking no one cares. And above all, think of yourself and how much less pain you could be in if you just let the damn healer do his fucking job. Now take your fucking potion and put it in your magic storage thing already or so fucking help me.’

Link glared at him for a moment longer, in which Hyrule contemplated the odds that this would all end in a dramatic fist fight (it was fine, he still had magic left, he could heal up any necessary injuries he dealt), before the potion obediently disappeared into the magic storage thing. ‘You done?’ Link asked. ‘Can I go now?’

‘Nope. One more thing I need to do,’ Hyrule shot back. ‘Stay still.’

He leaned in and gave Link a hug.

Link jolted, letting out an odd sputtering sound of faux indignation that didn’t quite disguise the way he was already greedily leaning into the embrace. ‘The fuck is this Formation P shit?’ he demanded upon regaining some small measure of coherency. ‘I already agreed to stay until you were done. Do I look like I need to be pinned down like some skittish animal?’

‘Nope,’ said Hyrule. ‘But you did look like you needed a hug. I’m done healing, by the way.’

‘…Did you just prank me with unexpected physical affection?’

‘Yep. Though if you ever try hiding injuries from me again, I’m going to start pranking you with my fist in your face.’

‘Fuck you,’ Link replied helpfully, but he didn’t shove Hyrule away or try to teleport again. Small wins.

‘Hey, not to interrupt or anything, but is this a group hug?’ Wind piped up. ‘Can I join in?’

Hyrule startled and swivelled on his knees to face the other heroes.

Normally, Hyrule was all about the sappy moments. Normally, he wasn’t at the centre of them. ‘Uh… whoops?’ he uttered. ‘I kind of forgot you were all there.’

Legend coughed. His face was rather red all of a sudden, especially the eyes. ‘That’s uh… that’s fine. In fact, you know what? I’m not even here. Just, uh…’ he swiftly darted forward, hugged Hyrule tightly and ruffled his hair with a whispered, ‘You’re a good kid,’ and an added ‘You too,’ as he gave a nonplussed Link a hair ruffle of his own.

‘Call me if you need me. Bye!’ Legend announced as he activated his Magic Cape and vanished from sight, shortly reappearing (rather poorly hidden) behind a nearby tree with all the grace and poise an emotionally-challenged veteran adventurer could possibly muster.

Hyrule had to admit: he was a little jealous. That cape sure must come in useful.

‘Group hug?’ Wind tried again.

‘Don’t push your luck,’ said Link. ‘You haven’t even earned your penalty game yet.’

Wind pouted. So did Twilight. Blue huffed and folded his arms with an expression that was definitely not intended to be read as a pout.

‘Hold on, what do you mean about earning our penalty game?’ Green asked suddenly.

Hyrule’s gaze snapped back to Link.

‘Well, that’s what happens if I lose at tag, right?’ he stated. ‘There’s no such thing as a free penalty game; you have to put yourself at risk if you accept. I guess Zelda didn’t expressly put that in her letter, but wasn’t it implied?’

The Chain exchanged glances.

‘Was it?’ Wind said aloud.

Twilight cocked his head thoughtfully. ‘I don’t think it was?’

‘It’s tradition, right?’ a confused Link insisted.

‘Hold on, Red’s asking Zelda,’ Green told them. Link’s eyes flickered curiously in his direction at that announcement, but he said nothing.

Silence fell. Hyrule counted the seconds. One, two, three, four –

‘Zelda says yes,’ Blue announced. ‘That’s apparently how things work here. Huh.’

Five. Six.

‘What the fuck?!’ Wind yelped. ‘Why didn’t she tell us that earlier? I would’ve tried so much harder to stay in the game!’

‘So if at least one person is still in by the time the sun sets, that’s a fail?’ Green mused. His gaze turned speculative. ‘Interesting.’

‘Who’s left, anyway?’ Hyrule wondered aloud. ‘Zelda, Warriors and Vio, obviously. Sky and Red. What about Time?’

‘Wasn’t he headed to Zelda’s location?’ Wind asked.

‘He didn’t get there,’ Blue said. ‘Or hasn’t yet, I guess.’

‘The talus made a lot of noise,’ Twilight pointed out. ‘He probably changed direction when he heard it.’

‘Yeah, probably,’ Legend called from the woods. ‘He can turn invisible, remember? I wouldn’t be surprised if he were somewhere nearby right now, listening to all of this.’

‘Oh. Really?’ Link commented. Looking over, Hyrule found him with his slate held on his lap. He tapped the device and with a soft, vaguely metallic sound, thin yellow chains snapped into place around an empty space to the right of Twilight, illuminating Time’s form. Link skipped forward, tapped at the rim of the Stone Mask and said, ‘Tag.’

Legend jolted. ‘What the fuck?!’ he yelped. ‘How did –?’

‘Guess Sheikah tech doesn’t really care about who’s supposed to be invisible,’ Link commented. At that moment the spell broke, and the mask dropped into his waiting hand.

‘Boo,’ he said straight into Time’s suddenly visible face. The older hero gave a startled cry and took several steps back, giving Link the opportunity to briefly inspect the item he held before stowing it in his slate for safekeeping.

Hyrule had a sudden, ominous premonition, and was about to beg Link to please no, do not take that invisibility device, it’s too much power, before the hero in question turned to Wind.

‘Formation WB?’ he offered.

Wind blinked. A devilish smirk stretched across his face. ‘You’re on.’

‘Uh oh,’ said Blue, making no move to intervene.

‘Uh oh,’ Green agreed.

The youngest member of their team dashed to an empty part of the clearing, donned a rather ominous-looking white and navy mask (Time made a startled choking sound) and yelled, ‘Ready!’

Link jumped above Wind, throwing an old rusty shield between them. ‘Now!’ he shouted.

Wind’s face exploded.

Hyrule’s mouth fell open.

The thing about explosions was that they were rather loud, making it difficult to distinguish individual cries of “what the fuck”, “why the fuck”, “how the fuck” and similar. Hyrule was fairly sure that a few such queries left his own mouth within the immediate aftermath of the blast, but by the time things calmed down, Link was already well clear of the area, leaving nothing behind but an echo of his last words: ‘Eat my dust, losers!’

Well, then.

Hyrule dragged his eyes over to Wind, who against all odds appeared more or less unharmed. Maybe a few small scratches and bruises, but nothing Hyrule felt particularly compelled to assist with.

‘The “WB” stands for “Wind Bomb”,’ Wind explained.

‘No one asked,’ Hyrule said calmly.

‘No, but I thought it was important information that they really ought to know. Pretty cool, huh?’

‘Can’t believe he got it on the first attempt,’ Blue sniggered. ‘Didn’t even give himself another concussion.’

‘Yeah, dude, you owe me twenty rupees,’ Green reminded him.

‘Whatever. I’m not even mad.’

Neither was Hyrule. He was merely blissfully contemplating retirement. Thinking about it further, he already had a few dog names lined up (none for cats; you couldn’t plan their names in advance) but he still hadn’t landed on a name for his ferret. Flopsy? Zippy? Sparkles? Esmeralda the Great and Terrifying, First of Her Name (Ezzy for short)? So many options, so much time, all he had to do was somehow escape this current quest.

‘I quit,’ he said faintly.

‘Alright,’ Vio said aloud. ‘Good news: he calmed down and got a good talking to from Hyrule. Bad news: he now has the ability to turn invisible. Well, that’s just fine and dandy and wonderful and I have no problem with it.’

No one responded. She was alone atop the Sheikah Tower, unless of course one counted the two humanoid lumps of fabric and equipment intended to convince anyone watching that there were still three people seated at the top of the tower.

Vio wasn’t counting them.

She sighed.

The decision to abandon their lookout had been made rather suddenly, and as the only one who possessed neither a paraglider nor the ability to drop from a terrifying height and land harmlessly on their feet (what the hell, Warriors?), she had volunteered to stay behind rather than slow their descent. There was no way she was going with Warriors’s suggestion of piggybacking his death dive (once again, what the hell, Warriors?) or Flora’s suggestion of shrinking down and riding in her pocket (those aren’t even proper pockets, and also, haven’t you ever heard of fear of heights?!).

But this was fine. It wasn’t as if Vio was some helpless little girl with no resources or experience at her disposal. She’d stabbed her share of moblins, navigated her share of traps. Warriors and Flora had even shared their stash of materials with her. She didn’t know and didn’t really want to know why Warriors had so many monster teeth or why Flora had so many bananas, but that was just fine with her. Even if she was all alone, and even if her sibling had betrayed her, revealed her location and paid a suspicious mercenary to take her out, Vio would be just fine. She was resourceful, after all.

Hey, don’t be sad, Red murmured to her. I’m still here, and Blue’s already feeling a little bit bad about snapping at you, and uh, doing that other thing.

Screw you, I regret nothing, Blue chimed in.

Well, you couldn’t win them all.

Not gonna lie, it was kind of funny, Green added.

Fuck you too, Green, Vio snapped back.

Twenty or so minutes later, every surface of the tower was thoroughly covered in traps, from the piles of pointy teeth to the piles of banana peels below said piles of pointy teeth and from the fire chuchu jelly smeared on the side of the tower to the multi-layered trip-lines near the entrance to the very top. Vio was rather pleased with her work, overall, especially given the limited timeframe. Perhaps the new Link would make it up eventually, but not without a fight.

‘Have fun climbing, dickhead,’ she muttered vindictively to herself.

‘Was I supposed to climb?’ a voice from behind Vio asked. Slowly, she turned her head to find said dickhead crouched at the edge of the tower with a pitying expression on his face.

‘Tag,’ he said, poking her in the shoulder.

‘How?’ she breathed.

He shrugged. ‘Patience? Spite? Octo Balloons attached to a raft that was never really intended to act as a flying machine? Don’t suppose you’d tell me where the princess went, by the way?’

Vio eyes flashed. ‘Never.’

‘Fair. You’re loyal, and I can respect that,’ Link sighed. ‘That said, I was specifically paid to give you hell.’

Uh oh, said Red.

This oughta be good, Green contributed.

Vio swallowed. ‘Uh, you already caught me, right? And, you know, the way this whole splitting thing works is that we actually all share a wallet, and actually I think I’d like a refund, and –’

A stream of crickets began to emerge from Link’s Sheikah Slate, swarming the rather small space that was the viewing platform of the Great Plateau Tower. Vio shrieked and scuttled away. A rope snagged her leg and she shrieked again.

‘Have fun climbing, Vio,’ Link advised, before finally cutting off the flow of insects and flipping backwards off the tower.

Dropping to the ground and dutifully ignoring the sounds of screaming, cursing, explosives and incendiaries from above, Link allowed his smirk to slip.

Hyrule’s lecture had left Link more questions than answers, and all of a sudden, he didn’t know where those answers could be found. He hadn’t really expected to find Zelda atop the tower, not if she was taking this game as seriously as her letter suggested, but it would have been nice if things were that easy. As the adrenaline died down, he felt strangely hollow and as tired as he’d ever been.

His eyes scanned over the familiar surrounds. Of all the places in the beautiful, ruined world he’d awoken to, this was the one he knew best. This was the place he continued to return to, even without really knowing why. It was the place that felt more like home than his house in Hateno Village ever had, the place that held more ties to who Link was than any of the fading ruins of Hyrule Castle and its surrounds.

It didn’t matter if Zelda wasn’t there to answer his questions. He could find those answers all on his own.

He raised his Sheikah Slate and swiped through his inventory for the new item, reading the helpful description the technology provided.

Wear it to become as plain as stone.

No time like the present, Link supposed, and donned the mask. It didn’t fit particularly well, and without any viewers nearby it was impossible to determine whether or not it actually worked. Only time would tell, he supposed.

Link took a deep, steadying breath, and began to make his way uphill.

Chapter Text

‘Wind,’ Time began. ‘Is there a reason why you saw fit to jumble the carefully organised contents of my magical bag during the brief interval in which I took my eye off you?’

‘Sure, there’s a reason,’ Wind replied easily.

‘And that reason is?’ Time prompted.

‘Because I thought it would be funny,’ Wind explained. ‘And honestly? I wasn’t wrong.’

‘Malon, give me strength,’ Time expelled. He turned to Green. ‘To answer Zelda’s question of whether or not I have any items that could help reveal her possibly-invisible chaos demon of a best friend: yes, but also no.’

‘There’s always Legend’s item stash,’ Wind offered.

‘Yeah, but Legend ran away shortly after Link blasted off,’ Green explained. ‘Dunno if he’s doing reconnaissance or just avoiding us because emotions are difficult. Maybe both. Also, Vio just cut comms again.’

Time eyed him disgustedly. ‘For fun, or because she’s in trouble?’

‘Eh. Bit of column A, bit of column B, maybe some column C? Last I know, she was at the tower, surrounded by flames, laughing hysterically and swearing dark vengeance on all of us. So yeah, she’ll probably be fine.’

‘Drama queen,’ Blue grumbled.

‘You know I can hear your thoughts, yeah?’

‘...Fuck you.’

Time continued to sort through his bag, vaguely impressed by the absolute mess Wind had managed to make of it. ‘Any word from the others, then?’ he asked absentmindedly.

‘They’re all still in the game, far as Red knows,’ said Green. ‘Which honestly isn’t all that far, right now. But Wars and Sky would’ve come back here if they’d been caught.’

‘Only a matter of time, though, right?’ Twilight commented.

‘Hey, don’t pin this on me,’ Time interjected, because he never really could help himself.

Twilight spared him an unimpressed glance. ‘What I mean is that Wars is fast and Sky is patient, but neither of them can really do much if the new kid’s invisible.’

‘Pity Wolfie didn’t join the game,’ Wind noted innocently. ‘His senses would be really helpful here.’

Twilight twitched.

‘Pity,’ Time agreed solemnly.

‘Yes. Well,’ Twilight uttered. ‘It’s out of our hands now, I suppose. At least Hyrule managed to heal Link properly before he, uh, flew off. Assuming he didn’t give himself any new injuries with the exit, that is.’

‘Nah, he nailed it,’ Wind insisted. ‘Got Formation WB down pat on the first try. What a badass.’

Time looked askance at the group healer, who was busily muttering some sort of expletive-laden nonsense to himself while aggressively reorganising his supplies. Time shrugged and reached back into his own bag. His hand brushed against an empty pocket and he froze.

It couldn’t be. Did Wind actually…?

He forced himself to stay calm as he counted out the items he'd already located, tucked away in pockets or scattered at the bottom of the bag. The mess was distracting, but perhaps not as distracting as the younger hero had hoped. Minutes passed with no evidence to contradict his suspicions. Time wrenched the opening of his bag as far as it could go and dug through with renewed fervour.

‘…Old man?’

He looked up to see that the conversation had ceased and that all eyes were on him. Twilight’s anxious expression caught Time’s gaze first, before he shifted his attention to Wind – quickly enough to catch the brief hint of unease before it could be smoothed away by an impeccable poker face. ‘What?’ the sailor asked calmly. ‘I didn’t even touch your weird sock collection. Or your diary. Can’t say I wasn’t curious.’

‘Was it a weird collection of socks, or a collection of weird socks?’ Green asked with undue interest.

Wind tilted his head contemplatively. ‘Let’s call it a bit of column A, bit of column –’

‘Wind,’ Time said tightly. ‘Where is it?’

‘Your weird sock collection?’ Wind asked. ‘Hmm… if I recall correctly –’

‘You know damn well what I mean,’ Time retorted.

‘No, I don’t think I do,’ Wind said cheerfully. ‘Maybe you can describe it? That way we can all help you look.’

Time shot him his darkest glare. Twilight and Green flinched, and even Blue looked troubled. Wind’s calm expression didn’t even twitch, his clenched fists the only outward sign of any tension. ‘Come with me, Wind,’ Time said curtly as he rose to his feet and indicated the direction with a sharp jerk of his head.

Wind’s eyes darted briefly from witness to witness. ‘Oh, if this is about the Blast Mask, Legend already confiscated it,’ he tried. ‘And Blue still has your bunny thing.’

‘Fuck you, I’m keeping this,’ Blue chimed in. ‘Not like it was getting any use where it was.’

‘Wind,’ Time warned.

‘Fine,’ Wind sighed. He rose to his feet with an exaggerated grunt of exertion. ‘Alright, grumpy gramps, if it’s really that important to you, guess we’ll go have a private chat off to the side. Sure hope no one eavesdrops.’

‘They had better not,’ Time said frostily. Twilight gulped visibly, and a dispirited Wind followed Time away from the gathering.

They walked in silence for several minutes. Time noticed Wind struggling to keep up with the pace he set, and for once, he didn’t slow his step. When they eventually found a suitable spot to pause, Time rummaged through his bag once more, finally producing the Lens of Truth and scanning the area to confirm that they were alone.

‘You’re real scary when you wanna be, aren’tcha, old man?’ Wind commented lightly. ‘Poor Twi was about to pee his pants.’

‘I’m not in the mood, Wind,’ Time said curtly.

‘Sure,’ said Wind. ‘So why not get to the point then? Go ahead and tell me what you think I took. Maybe if you describe it to me, I’ll remember if I saw it or not.’

‘This isn’t a game, Wind.’

‘Really?’ Wind asked sceptically. ‘Odd, because it’s really starting to seem like it is. It’s not a tough question, Old Man, and you’re being reaaal cagey about answering it.’

‘I –’

‘Whatever you’re missing must be pretty important, right?’ Wind continued. ‘Or at least, it must be pretty dangerous, and it must be something you don’t want the others to know about. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be so worried about it going missing, and you definitely wouldn’t have needed to talk to me privately about it. So, you know, maybe you have your reasons for wanting to keep it a secret, but just suppose I hypothetically did have something to do with your whatever going missing: maybe I have my reasons too. Just because I’m young doesn’t mean I’m completely ignorant or stupid, or that you can scare me into compliance. Give me some fucking credit, Old Man.’

Time deflated. ‘Language,’ he chided weakly.

Wind’s harsh expression softened slightly. ‘Sure. Wouldn’t want to scar your poor, innocent little ears, now, would we?’

The silence stretched on between them for a long moment before Time spoke again. ‘A mask,’ he said. ‘One that looks like me, but with silver hair. It has the same markings as…’ He gestured vaguely at the old stains the Fierce Deity had left on his face.

Wind looked at him sadly. ‘Yeah. Now that you mention it, I think I might’ve seen something like that.’

Two sets of footprints led away through the snow, one larger than the other. The smaller footprints were doubled up, curving off to the right. A few larger, heavier footprints marred the ground near Link’s position, coming to a dead end and reversing a few paces in.

Link mapped it out: Red must have split from Sky and travelled down this way, meeting with Zelda and Warriors. Zelda and Red then continued onwards while Warriors turned back, perhaps regrouping with Sky somewhere beyond the snowfield.

He followed the twin trail to the river, where it abruptly halted – likely, the two had crossed with the aid of Zelda’s slate. Perhaps he’d find further clues on the other side if he searched, though he doubted Zelda would have been that careless.

Instead, Link turned left, following the path to his temporary campsite of the previous day. He brushed a light layer of snow off the log some helpful bokoblin or other had left behind and took a seat. The fire was long dead, of course, but it was only after several minutes of absentminded shivering that it occurred to Link to don his snowquill tunic.

‘C’mon. Get it together, little guy,’ a remembered voice teased gently.

Link smiled faintly. ‘Yeah. I’ll try, Daruk,’ he said aloud.

Daruk gave no response. Link didn’t really expect one. His imagination had always been lousy, but short of the glaring gaps he’d been repeatedly made aware of, his memory was surprisingly good. It was easy enough to draw the voice of the long-dead Goron champion to mind.

‘I feel like I should apologise,’ he’d said hesitantly, back when Link had met his spirit within the control room of Vah Rudania. ‘Sorry that me resting with the rubble caused such a mess.’

‘What the hell are you apologising for?’ Link demanded of the empty air.

Daruk didn’t reply. He might’ve, if Link had had the courage to ask back when he was still around.

‘It’s just asinine,’ Revali offered instead. A memory from the before time, Link recalled, spoken during a quiet, sunny moment atop what would later be known as Revali’s Landing. It was with surprising fondness that he recalled watching the puffed-up Rito teenager expend several minutes of his (self-proclaimed) precious time rambling at the silent, expressionless swordsman in the vain hope of prompting a reaction of some kind.

‘Your face is asinine,’ Link belatedly informed him.

Revali had nothing to say to that. Perhaps he would have been just as speechless had Link actually spoken up back then. It was impossible to know. Regardless, Link figured that was his cue to pull himself together and stop with the pity party.

He unfolded Zelda’s letter and scanned through it once more:

The heroes I met with hold important information about strange happenings across Hyrule, which may well explain the Blood Moon’s return. If you were to meet with them, I’m sure they would tell you what they know.

‘Yeah. I can do that,’ Link decided.

It was simple enough: end the game, get the information, go on his way. Nothing more to it.

‘I thought you were dead,’ Hyrule informed him – had informed him – with an expression of deepest outrage.

Link laughed at the memory and at the mess that was his mind, seamlessly mixing memories from three eras into a single internal conversation. ‘So did I,’ he replied. ‘And yet, here I am.’

Talking to himself probably wasn’t a good sign, Link noted. His thoughts were as muddied as they ever were, even if, for once, he was uninjured and properly rested. He needed to get his head in order, and quickly. Luckily, the one place that always served to centre him was only a short walk away.

Those heroes could wait a little longer.

‘I mentioned this earlier, right?’ Wind tapped his skull. ‘Built-in ghost-radar. I can speak with spirits, I can see them and I can also sense them somewhat. With no need for magical items. So of course I could tell at a glance which of your masks didn’t quite fit with the others.

‘Four said that the colours were a bit like children, but he wasn’t really all that specific, so I didn’t show Blue the more dangerous ones. The Goron one, the Zora one and the Deku one all held traces of powerful, lingering spirits. Echoes, only,’ he added quickly upon seeing Time’s alarmed expression. ‘The spirits themselves probably moved on long ago, but they left remnants of themselves in those masks. A few of the other masks had a similar feel to them, but to a much lesser extent.

‘The mask you mentioned was different,’ Wind said. ‘It wasn’t an echo. There was a real spirit sealed inside, and it was furious. Even just from touching it, I could feel it straining to break free. And I looked at it, saw the markings, and thought: wonder how the Old Man got those matching designs on his face?

‘They don’t look like tattoos. Sometimes, we see you rubbing at them like you’re in pain. Or scratching at them, when you wake up from a particularly bad nightmare. So, correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think the story behind them is a nice one. I think that whatever happened hurt a lot, and that it continues to hurt a lot. But here’s the confusing part: if it’s such a painful memory that you flinch just hearing me talk about it, why are you still carrying it around?’

He looked at Time expectantly. Time looked away. ‘I don’t exactly have a choice,’ he murmured. ‘It’s dangerous. It’s not something I can just leave lying around, and it wouldn’t be safe to try to destroy it either. Believe me, I’ve tried.’

‘Sure,’ said Wind. ‘But that doesn’t mean that you personally need to carry it with you, does it?’

Time hesitated. ‘Wind, I don’t say this to belittle you or anything, but I just… you’re still –’

‘Yeah, yeah. I’m still a kid,’ Wind said dismissively. ‘You don’t have to sugar-coat it, Old Man. I know. But just suppose for a moment that I agree with your whole “minimum age for dark magic” thing – never mind that I’ve dealt with all sorts of dark magic already – you still could’ve asked Twilight. He’s a responsible, legal adult, and he has plenty of experience with dark magic, even if he pretends he doesn’t. Or Legend, for that matter: he’s seen heaps of cursed objects in all his adventures. Probably has a few already stashed away in that bottomless bag of his, or stuffed in his weird trophy room back home. Hell, if my age is the problem here, does Warriors, Sky or Four know? Does anyone?’

‘It’s none of their business,’ Time said tightly. ‘It was none of yours either.’

‘Cool. Then how about the new Link?’ Wind suggested. ‘He’s over a hundred years old. Probably even older than you, if you can believe it. None of his secrets were our business either, but you were there listening too when his best friend spilled the beans, and you didn’t tell her to stop. Or hey, if minding our own business is so critical all of a sudden, how about I keep it to myself next time I get hurt, or next time I find something dangerous? It’s none of your business, after all.’

‘That’s different, Wind,’ Time bit.

‘Yeah, it is, isn’t it?’ Wind agreed sadly. He took a deep breath. ‘It feels that way, at least, doesn’t it? Because letting yourself suffer or letting other people lean on you will always be different to watching others endure on their own.’

‘Wind, I don’t… that isn’t…’ Time trailed off helplessly.

‘What are you scared of?’ Wind asked. ‘Really think about it, and put yourself in my shoes for a moment. Are you scared that someone else will get hurt on your behalf, or is it that you think we only want you with us if you’re our strong, flawless, weightless leader?’ Wind shook his head. ‘We’re not so helpless that we need you to be the strong one all the time, and we’re not so cruel that we’d abandon you if you showed a single sign of weakness. Can you believe me? Even a little bit?’

Wind stared at him squarely. Time marvelled at the sincerity, compassion and sheer courage that suffused his gaze. He never been prouder of their youngest hero, and it was a long time since he’d been more intimidated.

Empty words wouldn’t solve anything. ‘I’ll do my best,’ he promised instead.

‘Well, good,’ Wind told him. ‘Because if you’d tried to brush me off after all this bullshit, then holy fuck would I have had a lecture for you.’

Time chuckled lightly. ‘Haven’t you lectured me enough for one day?’

‘Oh, no, I could keep going for hours.’

‘I don’t know if my pride could survive that.’

‘Start planning the funeral then, gramps, I’m just getting started.’

‘And there’s our merciless pirate, right there.’

‘Heh. You know it.’

Link paused before the ruins of the Temple of Time, staring for a long moment towards the point high up on the crumbling roof where he’d first learned of his forgotten past. Minutes later, he finally tore his gaze away and continued onwards to the stairs and up the hill.

‘You gotta tell us about your adventures someday, Old Man,’ Wind pleaded. ‘The whole thing. Not little snippets here and there, or weird one-liners about that time you fought the moon.’

‘But I did fight the moon,’ Time said innocently.

‘Then give us the deets, Old Man!’ Wind shouted. ‘I wanna fight the moon too!’

‘Uhh…’

All was silent in Link’s head for the brief moment before Zelda’s voice saw fit to invade his thoughts.

‘Your path seems to mirror your father’s,’ she had said. ‘You’ve dedicated yourself to becoming a knight as well. Your commitment to the training necessary to fulfil your goal is really quite admirable.’

It had been a rather rare compliment at the time, Link acknowledged, if ill-informed. Was mindless obedience a form of commitment? He supposed it must be: since awakening, his own weapons had always echoed the same commitment, right up until the point where they splintered and broke at the hands of their clumsy, weak, graceless master. The original Link might have known how to properly care for a blade, but his amnesiac replacement certainly did not. They stuck by him regardless, as all good tools did.

‘What if, one day, you realised that you just weren’t meant to be a fighter?’ Zelda had asked.

She hadn’t wanted an answer. She had wanted permission. He hadn’t given it. Why would he, after all? Weapons didn’t have opinions.

‘Would you have chosen a different path?’

Since when was there ever a choice?

‘Taking up space isn’t such a bad thing, you know?’ Wind continued. ‘I mean, I do it all the time. And you’d be sad, right, if that space I took up was suddenly empty? Wouldn’t you?’

‘This is how things had to happen,’ Urbosa’s spirit had told Link, right after he’d finally defeated Thunderblight Ganon. ‘No one need carry blame.’

Perhaps she’d intended to soothe him, or at least to soothe Zelda if he’d passed on her message as requested.

He wasn’t soothed, and he didn’t pass on the message. Perhaps he did have choices, after all. Perhaps he wasn’t as mindlessly obedient as they’d all once thought. Perhaps something deep inside had shattered upon his death, something that even the Shrine of Resurrection could not fix.

Was there really nothing he could have done? Was he really that powerless, that he couldn’t have saved even a single one of them? If all of it was inevitable from the start, then what was the point of fighting? What was the point of dying?

Urbosa had sent him on his way shortly after. At the time, he’d been dizzy from exhaustion and blood loss, arms aching from parrying blow after blow of that terrifyingly fast sword, whole body itching from the lightning strikes he’s struggled to dodge.

He might’ve hated her a little in that moment.

He might’ve hated himself a little, too.

‘Alright, I get the point,’ Time said wearily. ‘Now are you going to give me the mask back, or not?’

‘Whoops. Might’ve forgotten where it went,’ Wind said brightly.

‘Like hell you did.’

‘Would I ever lie to you?’

‘As easily as breathing.’

Wind laughed. ‘Hey, c’mon, don’t you know that kids are terrible at remembering things? Hmm… well, I might be able to recall where it went with the help of a little something to jog my memory.’

‘And now you’re asking for bribes?’ an unimpressed Time asked.

‘Bribes? Since when could I be bribed?’ Wind asked with faux injury. ‘Hey, it’s not much: I just might need one of the others to ask me about that mask. I really think that might help me remember where it went.’

Time’s heart dropped as he surveyed the grinning devil before him. ‘Wind,’ he began. ‘I make a point of never swearing around children, but just this once, I’m going to make an exception.’

If possible, Wind’s grin only widened. ‘Lay it on me, grandpa.’

‘You are an absolute little shit,’ he announced.

Wind snorted. He gave Time a brief, incredulous look, and then burst into full on laughter. ‘You finally said it,’ he crowed.

‘Don’t give me reason to say it again,’ Time added in a disgusted voice. ‘I’m already halfway to swearing off kids forever. Would that cause a paradox? Sorry pup, sorry Malon. I just don’t think I can do it. Alright Wind, that does it: I’ve had enough of this.’

Wind took a step back. ‘What are you –?’

Without further warning, Time pulled him into a gentle yet firm headlock. ‘Bad kids get noogies,’ he announced, demonstrating his point.

‘Screw you, Old Man!’ Wind sputtered. ‘This is cruel and unusual punishment! I’m telling your wife.’

‘And good kids get head pats,’ Time finished and smoothed Wind’s hair.

Said good kid looked up at him with an expression of confusion that broke Time’s heart. ‘Umm… what?’ Wind asked as he hesitantly reached up to touch his scalp. ‘I’m a little shit, remember? You just admitted it?’

‘Regrettably, those things aren’t mutually exclusive,’ Time informed him. He sighed, petting Wind’s hair once more. He deserved it, after all. He really was a good kid. And a little shit. ‘Alright, Wind,’ he said. ‘Promise me you won’t use that mask – no matter what happens or how tempted you might be – and that you won’t let anyone else use it either. Can you do that?’

‘Of course I can,’ Wind retorted.

‘Fine,’ said Time. ‘Then I’m going to do the irresponsible adult thing and let you hold onto that incredibly dangerous magical artefact for just a little while longer. Don’t make me regret it.’

Wind nodded. ‘I won’t. Promise.’

‘You better not,’ Time warned. ‘And you better not tell Malon either.’ He rubbed tiredly at his temples. ‘I am not fatherhood material,’ he moaned.

Wind grinned sharply. ‘Keep telling yourself that, Dad.’

Link’s stride paused automatically as he drew closer to his tomb. He forced himself to continue.

‘It was my pleasure,’ Mipha announced, and he flinched at her voice. The words echoed through his mind: he’d heard them enough times for them to lose all meaning. My pleasure, my pleasure, my pleasure…

‘Go away,’ he told her harshly.

‘I hope you know that I will always protect you,’ she had promised him.

‘Yeah, good fucking job,’ he said sarcastically, and if she didn’t hate him enough already, those words would surely have done it. Pity they’d never reach her.

He strode onwards without looking where he was going, turned left into the entrance of the familiar cave, and walked directly into a wall.

Caught off guard, Link tripped and fell, clutching his head. ‘The fuck?!’

A block of pale pink stone filled the entryway. Frowning, Link gave it a shove, followed by a harder shove. It didn’t budge. Nor did it react to his Stasis rune, or to Magnesis. Link swallowed down his building panic and tried a bomb. The blast rattled his footing and pulled a shower of dirt from the cliff face, but the pink stone itself showed no sign of any damage.

‘That you, Link?’ a voice called from a little way away. ‘Sorry, kid, but the trauma cave is closed for business today.’

Link found Legend slumped against the cliff, cradling a pink cane in his lap and looking completely exhausted. His eyes gazed vacantly in a direction close to but not quite where Link was standing. Bizarrely, he wore a grimly satisfied smile.

‘What the hell did you do?’ Link demanded.

Legend didn’t respond. In fact, he gave no sign that he had heard the question.

Link walked up and waved a hand in his face. Legend didn’t blink, but his expression turned contemplative. He reached out slowly, patting awkwardly at Link’s shoulder and face before making it to the rim of the mask Link had entirely forgotten he was wearing. He let Legend clumsily tug it free.

‘Huh,’ said Legend with a surprised blink. ‘Thought I could sense something, but I wasn’t really sure. Neat trick.’

‘Hey, if it isn’t the weird old man who patted my head and called me a good kid the other day,’ Link commented.

‘I’m only nineteen,’ Legend complained. ‘Save the “weird old man” comments until I’m at least thirty, and –’ his expression changed. ‘Hold on, did you say “the other day”? It’s only been –’

‘What the fuck did you do to the shrine?’ Link asked bluntly.

Legend cut off mid-sentence. He glanced over in the direction of the pink block, and then looked back at Link. ‘I closed it,’ he said blandly. ‘Don’t worry: it has nothing to do with the game of tag, and I made sure the place was empty before I blocked it off. But don’t even bother trying to break in. That barricade isn’t moving an inch, considering how much magic I put into it.’

Link scowled darkly. ‘And why the fuck did you do that?’

‘Seemed like a good idea at the time,’ Legend told him. ‘Still does. And, if I’m honest, it’s seeming like an even better idea by the moment. You got that kinda look on your face – I get it sometimes too, so I know.’

‘Oh, you know, do you?’ Link asked bitterly. ‘So Zelda runs her mouth a little bit and suddenly you know all about this place and what it means to me?’

‘She did run her mouth a bit, yes,’ Legend agreed evenly. ‘Told us the whole story of the Calamity, then your quest more recently. All from her perspective, of course. Not from yours. So, out of curiosity: which parts do you think she got wrong?’

‘The whole thing,’ Link informed him. ‘Every fucking word. Oh, she gets the overall events right, but she tells it like it’s some grand adventure featuring a far more competent and likeable hero than I’ve ever been. Wishful thinking, I guess. My own story would’ve been messy as all hell, all out of order and none of it making any sense, starring some slapstick amnesiac comedian constantly tripping over his own feet. If there was ever a single moment where I had any idea what I was doing, I sure as fuck don’t remember it.’

Legend snorted. ‘Ah. Well. Would you believe me if I said, “welcome to the club”?’

‘Probably not,’ Link said honestly.

‘That’s fair,’ Legend acknowledged. He patted the ground to one side. ‘How about this, then: go ahead and tell me what it was really like. In your own words this time. Not like I’m going anywhere anytime soon.’

Link eyed him cautiously, taking in the pallor of his face and the shaky grip on the cane in his lap. ‘You ok?’

‘Yeah. Just used too much magic,’ Legend replied. ‘Hyrule’s gonna be furious when he finds out. If he finds out, which he hopefully doesn’t. I’m gonna rest up a bit before I head back. You could probably use a break too, what with all the running around and the exploding yourself. Want some lunch?’

‘Lunch?’ Link looked askew at the stale flatbread Legend was pulling out of his bag.

Legend shrugged. ‘Hey, it’s not much, but it sure beats your gross-ass cooking.’

Link scoffed. ‘I can cook, you know. I just did that to fuck with you.’ To prove his point, he flopped down next to Legend, opened his inventory and produced a pair of seafood rice bowls. He placed one in his own lap and held the other out to his companion. ‘I guess I could use a break,’ he acknowledged. Not that he really needed one. ‘It isn’t as if I need to be anywhere either.’ Yes he did. ‘Not urgently, at least.’ It was always urgent. ‘So sure, I can entertain you for a while,’ Link finished, and took that as the cue to start shovelling food into his face with far more aggression than the act deserved.

Legend granted him a smile that swiftly turned into a grimace as his dubious gaze turned to the offering. ‘Just for the record: if this is another prank, I’m gonna be pissed,’ he warned.

‘No pranks,’ Link assured him. ‘Truce?’ He held out his hand. Legend grasped it, and they shook. Steeling himself, Legend spooned up a mouthful of fish and rice to taste, and Link watched with unexpected fondness as his tense expression softened into delight.

All of a sudden, the blocked path to the Shrine of Resurrection didn’t bother Link quite so much.

Chapter Text

Warriors sat on the roof of the old cottage to the south-east of the Great Plateau, looking out towards the Sheikah Tower and patiently waiting for the new Link to appear.

He was waiting very patiently indeed.

He was not impatient at all.

It definitely didn’t bother him to not have access to any information.

He sighed. ‘I’m not built for this,’ he announced plaintively to the empty air. Naturally, no one responded.

Close to an hour had passed since he and Flora had descended the tower, rendezvoused with Red, and split ways. The last he knew, the new Link was still in the forest, having his wounds (finally) treated by Hyrule. If any major developments had occurred since, it would likely be some time still before Warriors learned of them.

It wasn’t as if he’d never kept watch before, or never had to wait out the tense moments before an anticipated conflict. It was merely that most of the time, he didn’t do so with no one to warn or check in with before he made any drastic moves, and that the few times he had, something had inevitably gone wrong. Harmless prank war or no, it made him anxious. He itched to move closer, to find a vantage point and see what he could discover about the situation, but he knew his current position – with cliffs behind and a flat, open field ahead – was the best way to guarantee he would see the target coming.

All he needed to do was wait patiently. Therefore, that was what he was doing, and what he would patiently continue to do.

Thus, time passed.

And no one appeared.

‘Where the fuck is he?’ Warriors wondered aloud.

Link and his new companion sat side by side near the entrance of the Shrine of Resurrection, enjoying a pleasant luncheon.

‘This is fucking amazing,’ Legend announced incredulously. ‘How are you this good at cooking?’

‘Flattery will get you nowhere,’ Link informed him, as if he couldn’t feel his own face flushing.

‘No, seriously, this is the best thing I’ve ever tasted,’ Legend insisted. ‘What is it, anyway?’

‘Nothing special; just a seafood rice bowl,’ Link replied. He pointed to each component in turn. ‘Staminoka bass. Bright-eyed crab. Combine it with some sliced blueshell snail, hearty salmon roe and a bit of pickled radish to the side, all on top of plain rice. I don’t know if it’ll restore your magic at all, but it should at least raise your energy levels a bit and help with healing any injuries you have left over from yesterday.’

Legend’s eyes sharpened with interest. ‘Medicinal cooking?’

‘Sure, I guess you could call it that,’ Link agreed offhandedly. ‘You can get other effects too, with the right ingredients. See mine? Stealth and speed bonuses. I also have meals to boost strength, improve defence and increase endurance. Even a few to help with extreme temperatures.’

‘That must come in handy,’ Legend marvelled.

‘Sure does. It’s nothing as powerful as an elixir – or potion, I guess – but cooking helped me a lot on my adventure.’

‘Speaking of which,’ said Legend. ‘Are you going to tell me that story?’

To stall for time – or rather because he was thinking very hard and definitely not at all stalling for time – Link took a generous mouthful of fish and slowly chewed and swallowed. ‘Alright,’ he said eventually. ‘So. You already know that I lost my memories, right?’

‘Zelda did mention that, yes,’ Legend agreed.

‘Well then, I’ll start by explaining a bit of how that works.’ Another mouthful. ‘Here’s the first thing most people get wrong about amnesia, at least as far as I’ve experienced it: for the most part, until someone points it out to you, you don’t realise you’ve forgotten things. People assume it’s like this big library full of empty shelves, where you can walk around and see all the books missing. It’s not. It’s more as if at any given moment you have exactly the number of books you’re supposed to have, and then a new one gets shoved into place which makes you rethink the context of the whole collection.’

He sighed. ‘See, Zelda still has all or most of her memories from before the Calamity, so her story probably started somewhere logical, like at the point one hundred years ago where we first started preparing to fight – or even at the point ten thousand years ago where the last guy and his friends succeeded, because that’s the story she would have grown up hearing.

‘Mine doesn’t start there. It starts with me waking up in my underwear, submerged in a bathtub full of ancient Sheikah pickle juice.’

Legend snorted, raising a hand just in time to prevent rice from escaping his mouth. ‘Ancient Sheikah pickle juice?’ he repeated.

‘Yeah, I assume so, at least,’ Link replied. ‘The basin is empty now, but it used to be filled with some kind of liquid. I don’t think it was water. Who the fuck knows? Zelda might, I guess. Anyway, by the time I woke up, most of the pickle juice had already drained out, but the fact that I’m stuck in a gross pickle juice bath is one of the two first things I notice. The second is that that there’s someone calling out to me, asking me to wake up. I follow her instructions, grab the glowing rectangle thing and use it to open the door. Then I raid the nearby treasure chests, find some pants and a shirt and vacate the premises. In hindsight, I probably should’ve had a lot of questions about the pickle juice, the unknown surroundings and the fact that, at least for a brief moment, I tried putting pants on my arms instead of my legs. But like I said: amnesia doesn’t feel weird until something or someone makes you notice it. So, I shrugged it off and kept moving.

‘The view outside was absolutely gorgeous,’ he explained wistfully. ‘There’s a great vantage point right over there – have you had a look yet? Stand over there if you haven’t.’

‘Can’t right now, sorry,’ Legend responded, with a sweeping gesture at himself.

‘Ah. Sorry, I forgot.’

‘You’re good. In fact, I’m already feeling a bit better. Must be your cooking. Keep going.’

‘Alright,’ said Link. ‘Well then, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and I spend a moment looking out over the world because damn is it a nice day to not be drowning in pickle juice. That’s about the time I realise that I’m hungrier than I can ever remember being. Which isn’t difficult really, but you get the idea. I then grab a bunch of weird mushrooms, think to myself, “wait are those edible?”, and decide, you know what, fuck it, let’s find out; today is a good day to die. Fun fact,’ he added, ‘most of the wild mushrooms you’ll find around here are either mildly poisonous or fucking gross to eat raw, and if you eat a lot of the raw ones then they tend to swing from the latter to the former. They won’t kill you, but they’ll definitely make you sick. But hey, my stomach’s pretty tough, so I manage. Count that one as one of my few redeeming features.

‘I go downhill, and there’s this old man sitting near a fire, making baked apples. I instinctively don’t like this old man, so I avoid him. He’s really peeved about that for some reason, and so, out of the goodness of my heart, I go back, steal his food and eat it in front of him.’

Legend snorted again. ‘As you do.’

Link grinned. ‘As I do. And yeah, he tries talking to me again, but I brush him off. Fuck that guy. Sure, he’s the first person I’ve ever met, as far as I can remember, but fuck that guy, he gives me the worst vibes. Simply the worst. So, I keep moving.’

‘He’s going to be back later, isn’t he?’ Legend commented.

‘You know it,’ Link agreed cheekily. ‘Didn’t take long, either. I go off to investigate my surroundings and end up on top of the tower, and once I get down, this old man turns up right on schedule. He says that if I find treasure in the nearby shrines, he’ll trade it for his paraglider. So, I go and raid the nearest shrine, meet the suspicious stranger again and say, “Give me the fucking paraglider, Old Man.”’

Legend outright laughed at that. ‘And did he?’

Link made a face. ‘Nope. The jerk tells me I have to go check the other shrines first. So, fine, I go off and do that. Turns out the shrines give my Sheikah Slate a bunch of new abilities, so it’s not a total waste, but again: fuck that guy.

‘In the end, after I’ve gone running around the whole Great Plateau, fought off a bunch of bokoblins with a bunch of sticks and whatever else I could scavenge – and boy, did they kick my amnesiac arse once or twice – and ate some more weird mushrooms and some raw peppers – not advised – I meet the old man at the top of the Temple of Time and say, once more with feeling, “give me the fucking paraglider.”

‘And that’s about the time he informs me that he is, in fact, the King of Hyrule.’

Legend let out a startled laugh, and Link grinned back. ‘Yeah. Well, technically former king. Of the former Kingdom of Hyrule. Which doesn’t really exist anymore.’

Legend’s smile dropped mid-sentence. ‘When you say “former”…?’ he began, before trailing off with a worried expression.

Link shrugged. ‘Yeah, turned out this guy was dead the whole time, and I didn’t even notice. He was pretty good at playing alive. Better than any of the other ghosts I’ve met, to be honest. Credit where credit’s due I guess: gotta admire the persistence of a guy like that. Though, on the other hand: fuck that guy.

‘Anyway, he goes on to tell me about what happened a hundred years ago and who I was back then. I can’t remember any of it, but I don’t feel like he’s lying, either. He continues talking, and explains that after I died, Princess Zelda went on to face Calamity Ganon alone, and she’s been holding it back ever since. But her strength is fading, and before long, the seal will break. My job is to defeat Ganon before then.

‘The dead king then tells me that heading directly to the castle in my current state would be reckless and definitely a bad idea, so I should go to Kakariko Village first and talk to Impa. He gives me directions and everything, and even gives me the paraglider at fucking last. Then he finally vanishes and leaves me to it. Three guesses on where I went next?’

‘I get the feeling it might not have been Kakariko Village,’ Legend mused. ‘Don’t tell me: straight to the castle?’

‘Got it in one,’ Link confirmed. ‘Or more to the point, that’s where I tried to go. See, the castle is where the Calamity first reappeared, a hundred years ago, and even with Zelda’s seal in place, the castle and its surrounding areas were where its influence is strongest. So, of course, I meet a fully functional Guardian. It’s running around Hyrule Field, looking for dumbass travellers, and it finds one. I try to fight it, but it turns out that regular weapons don’t do too much against steel armour. Also turns out that lasers do a whole lot against unarmoured flesh. I get blasted, I panic, and I teleport right back to the Great Plateau. Whoops, false start.’ Link chewed another mouthful of his lunch, and glanced over at Legend. ‘Hm? You don’t need to look so serious. Just a dumbass rookie mistake.’

‘What did you do next, then?’ Legend asked quietly.

‘Well, the good thing was that it only got me in the side, so my arms were still fine. I glided right off. Just picked a different direction. Got lucky, and landed near the stable, which is pretty much the only thing resembling civilisation anywhere near here. Otherwise I’d’ve been fucked, unless I could figure out how to activate the pickle juice machine again.’ He gave an involuntary shudder, but pulled himself together quickly enough that he doubted Legend would notice. ‘Anyway,’ he said. ‘I get to the stable, and while they don’t really have any doctors there, they do have a well-supplied first aid kit, and there was this traveller who… wow, would you believe, I don’t even remember his name? Did I even ask for it? Damn.

‘Kind of funny story, actually,’ Link added with forced levity. The weight of Legend’s gaze was starting to feel a little disconcerting. ‘Like I said, all they had was this first aid kit, and the traveller was really apologetic about the lack of pain medicine. Which was a shame for me too, as you can imagine. Think I might’ve been screaming at some point? So, he pulls out the next best thing he has, which turns out to be the worst moonshine in the universe – seriously, it was so bad, you have no idea. I’m about to tell him that I’m too young to drink, and then I remember three things: first, that I’m over a hundred years old, second, that I don’t know how old pre-Calamity Link even was, and third, that I’m an unaccompanied maybe-minor with an agonising, smoking hole in my side and there’s literally no one that can stop me from drinking all the shitty homebrew poison I want.

‘So, this guy and I end up drinking together, and even though he drinks way less, he ends up way more drunk. Probably my natural poison immunity at work.

‘We chat. I tell him how I feel like shit and that apparently I’ve lost all my memories, and he tells me about his wife and daughter and his donkey and his dog and how much he loves them all and how much they’d love me, and it’s weird as fuck, but I wake up late the following day still feeling like shit but far less so than before. He’s already gone before I can thank him, but I think “wow, that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said or done for me”, and – huh, that ended up going on a bit of a tangent, didn’t it?’ Link laughed shakily. Legend said nothing.

‘Back on track, then,’ Link continued. ‘I learned my lesson about the whole Hyrule Castle thing, so this time I do what Mr Paraglider wanted and go to Kakariko instead. I meet with this old lady called Impa, and she tells me about the Divine Beasts. Zelda probably mentioned those, yeah? Well, there are four of them, and all had been acting up recently – a sign that the seal was breaking and Ganon was starting to free itself.

‘I go to Zora Domain first. Met a guy along the way called Sidon – Prince Sidon, technically, but he was pretty cool about the whole royalty thing. He was super friendly from the start, which was extra nice considering how most of the other Zoras hated my guts. It was weird. Zoras live a long time, so a lot of them still remembered the before time. Since I remembered nothing, a part of me felt like it was a bit unfair for them to blame me for all of it.’

‘They blamed you?’ Legend asked incredulously. ‘That’s more than a little unfair.’

‘Well, I don’t know about that,’ Link replied with a shrug. ‘But like I said, they really know how to hold grudges. And they really loved Mipha.’

Legend chewed his lips and gave Link an expression of deep dissatisfaction. ‘Who’s Mipha?’ he asked at last.

‘The Zora princess from a hundred years ago,’ Link said distantly. ‘Sidon’s older sister. Beloved by all who knew her. She was chosen as the pilot for Vah Ruta, and fell when the Calamity hit.

‘There was this statue of her out the front of the domain, posing with her famous spear. When I looked at that statue, I… remembered her. Not everything, mind you, but my mind suddenly jumped to this moment where we were sitting together atop Vah Ruta and she was healing me. She has – uh, had, magic much like Hyrule’s. She was talking about how she knew me all the way back in my childhood, and how, once this was over, she wanted to spend some time together like we did back then.

‘I was given a suit of armour which she apparently made for me. It fitted perfectly and everything. Thing is, armour is this really… romantic gesture for Zora. It’s similar to an engagement ring. I don’t know if she’d ever told me anything like that back before, or if she’d intended to give me that gift after we won. I don’t know what I would have said.’ He swallowed back the sour feeling in his throat, and quickly added, ‘I mean, she was way too good for me, anyway, though I guess it’s all kind of academic now, huh?

‘I didn’t really have the option to reject the armour. It’s enchanted to let me swim up waterfalls and I wouldn’t have gotten very far with Vah Ruta without it. I think… I was a bit worried that she might be a bit, umm, angry that I didn’t, uh, accept it in the way it was probably umm… intended.’ Link paused for breath and to hide his face in his bangs. This whole storytelling gig was harder than he’d thought. Zelda always made it look so easy.

Moving slowly and carefully, Legend placed a hand on Link’s shoulder, tightening his grip slightly when Link made no move to shake him off. ‘Armour’s meant to protect you, right?’ he murmured eventually. ‘Regardless of whether or not you returned her affections, I’m sure Mipha would’ve been glad to know you were wearing it.’

Link winced. ‘Yeah, well. Moving on. Impa had said that in order to face Calamity Ganon, I’d need to regain control over the four Divine Beasts. Vah Ruta was the first one I encountered. It’s this giant, bulky mechanical thing, which looks kind of like a rhino but with a long, flexible nose instead of a horn.’

‘An elephant?’ Legend suggested.

‘Is that what those things are called?’ Link asked dubiously. ‘Might be – it was a creature we don’t have in Hyrule, as far as I know. Not in this era, at least.’

Legend nodded. ‘Not in my era’s Hyrule either, but I’ve travelled some of the surrounding lands.’

‘Lucky,’ Link said enviously. ‘Someday, I’d love to go and see… ah, but I’m getting off track, aren’t I?

‘Sidon helps me to enter Vah Ruta, and that’s when I hear her voice. Mipha, I mean.’ Legend’s hand tightened on his shoulder. Link continued to avoid his gaze. ‘I couldn’t see her, but I could hear her, just like I could still hear Zelda every now and then. I followed her directions, and eventually reached the control panel. That’s when this… thing… emerges. Waterblight Ganon, Zelda called it. The monster that defeated Mipha all those years ago.

‘It was a tough fight and I took a bit of damage, but eventually I beat it down. That’s when Mipha finally appeared.

‘It’s, umm… it’s silly, but part of me was hoping to actually free a living Mipha. But she’d been dead a long time, it turns out. Stuck around to wait for me, if you could believe it?

‘She wanted to help me fight Ganon, so she gave me a gift: a little piece of her spirit that she called Mipha’s Grace. We’ll, uh, get back to that later.

‘I left pretty quickly. Sidon and his father kind of made a big deal about me saving everyone from Vah Ruta’s rampage. I wanted to explain that it was all Mipha, not me, but I wasn’t really sure how that would have gone down. Wasn’t really sure if Sidon or the king really wanted to hear it, anyway.

‘I let them have their fun, then made my excuses and headed off to the next location: Death Mountain. Most aptly named place in Hyrule. You literally catch fire just by walking around if you don’t wear the right equipment or use the right elixirs. Plus, at the time, Vah Rudania was out tossing rocks and missiles at anything that moved. I managed to get close, thanks to some help from one of Daruk’s descendants – guy called Yunobo, kinda shy and easily frightened, but reliable in a pinch. Oh, I didn’t explain Daruk, did I? He was the Goron champion. One of their Elders, even.

‘From what I remember of him, we got along pretty well, once upon a time. He was kind of like a big brother. He was strong and kind and compassionate, and… fun. A little rough at times, I guess, but nothing I couldn’t take. He was always looking out for me, and not in a belittling way either: he treated me like an equal. Though when I say “big brother”, I mean that literally. He was huge. And his nickname for me was “little guy”. Yeah, dude, sorry we can’t all be giants.’ Link scoffed, and in the quick glance he took through his bangs, he saw Legend’s pained expression soften slightly.

‘I won’t bore you with all the shitty details about Vah Rudania, but suffice to say, similar deal: hear a ghostly voice, navigate a machine, kill a monster, meet a dead friend. Similar to Mipha, Daruk gave me a gift: a powerful, magical shield. Saved me more times than I can count, really. And it was so like Daruk too, you know? Kind of nice having my big brother on my side, even if I barely remembered him. I remember thinking, wow, past-Link, you really made some good companions, huh? Sucks that they’re all dead.

‘Well, anyway. Vah Rudania settles down and stops throwing rocks. Everything’s good in Goron City. I move on and head to Vah Medoh, over near Rito Village.

‘Thing was, Vah Medoh was right on the opposite side of the map, and, uh. I’m easily distracted. Plus… yeah, I don’t know. I was kind of remembering more and more as I went, and it was…’ He poked at his lunch with his spoon. ‘It was kind of a weird time. Mentally. I got a tip from Impa on places that might trigger my old memories to return, so I… kind of left Zelda waiting for a while, and went travelling. I don’t really have any good excuses for all the time I wasted, but –’

‘Hey. It’s ok,’ Legend cut in. ‘I’m not judging. You were well overdue for a break from the sounds of it.’

‘Zelda was waiting,’ Link said bitterly. ‘So were Revali and Urbosa, the other two Divine Beast pilots. I wasted enough time sleeping, after all.’

‘You sure know how to keep a woman waiting,’ Urbosa’s voice chided.

‘Making me wait a hundred years is a bit… indulgent,’ Revali added delicately.

‘Zelda did say you had a habit of pushing yourself,’ Legend said reproachfully.

‘Hah. She did, did she?’ Link scoffed. ‘She was quiet for most of my journey, but she did speak up a few times. Either to warn me of danger, or occasionally just to call me an idiot. Prime example: the first time I tried to fight a hinox.’

Legend grimaced. ‘Hate those things.’

‘Oh. Really?’ Link asked, unable to keep the surprise from his voice.

‘Yeah. They’re a giant pain.’

Link let out a startled laugh. ‘Was that a pun?’

Legend withdrew his hand from Link’s shoulder as if he’d been burned. ‘Fuck no,’ he said with a scowl. ‘I meant it literally. I mean, figuratively. Look, screw it, I’d just rather not tangle with them where I can avoid it.’

‘Good advice,’ Link agreed. ‘I could’ve used it back then, to be honest. Probably should have known better than to try to one-v-one that thing. Think I might’ve been a bit sick at the time too, so not great fighting condition. Long story short, it kind of threw a tree at me hard enough to throw me into another tree and for both trees to break on impact? Which is not something you normally survive, so, uh… I kind of didn’t.’

Legend went tense. Link was quick to reassure him, ‘Hey, it’s fine. Wouldn’t be the first time, sure as hell wasn’t the last. Remember that gift Mipha gave me? She was a powerful healer in life, and if anything, she was stronger in death. Anytime I came close to dying, she’d heal me up to perfect health in a matter of moments. Hell, to better than perfect health, and I didn’t even end up with scars. Sure beats the old pickle juice method.

‘Thing is, I hadn’t really needed Mipha’s Grace before then, but once I knew how it worked, I kind of got… reckless. I used it a lot of times from that point onwards. Mipha probably got pretty sick of my shit early on, but you’d never have known it from looking at her. Patience of a saint, that woman. Past-Link must’ve done something right by her, though I don’t know what.

‘I eventually make it to Rito Village, where Vah Medoh is busy flying around the skies and terrorising any Rito that come close. I go to gather information, and, you guess it, I find out about another long dead friend. First thought of Revali? He sucks. What an arsehole.’ Link smirked affectionately. ‘Kept going on and on about how all his special talents and how he should be the hero instead of me, and I think, yeah, dude, then why weren’t you the hero instead of me? Probably a better use of the pickle juice, to be honest, but hey, it is what it is. So I go and talk to this Rito guy called Teba, and –’

‘Hold on, did you say Teba?’ Legend interrupted.

‘Huh? Yeah. Why?’ Link asked curiously.

‘I met him yesterday,’ Legend replied. ‘He was flying around looking for you. That’s how Zelda ended up here.’

‘Really?’ Link asked sceptically. ‘Teba and Zelda barely even knew each other, last I knew. I mean, I did introduce them to each other when we visited Rito Village, but I wouldn’t say they were fast friends or anything.’

‘Well, never mind. Keep going,’ Legend urged.

‘Sure, I guess,’ Link said thoughtfully. ‘Where was I? Oh yeah. Vah Medoh. It was freaking cold up there, and also kind of terrifyingly high up. So, just like with the others, I eventually manage to free Revali’s spirit. I think he might’ve mellowed out a bit over the past hundred years or something, because he was a bit snarky but not nearly as much of an arsehole as I remembered. Though honestly… well, the me in my memories didn’t hate him. I think I thought his posturing was kind of amusing. Maybe that was Revali’s way of showing affection, or maybe past-Link was a smug arsehole in his own right. Either way, just like the others, he ended up granting a gift to help me along the way. He called it Revali’s Gale.

‘It was awesome,’ Link said enthusiastically. ‘It let me summon an updraft wherever I wanted, so I could be standing on the ground one moment and flying through the sky on my paraglider the next.’ He grinned at Legend, who gave a weak smile in return. ‘You know, it’s the only one of the four gifts I received that really didn’t have any combat use,’ he commented. ‘Though, to be fair, Revali would have used it for combat. I mostly just used it for fun and exploration. Hah, and pranks.’ He snorted. ‘Yeah, might’ve messed with a few people.’

Legend chuckled back. ‘I can imagine.’

‘It was the best,’ Link affirmed. ‘And, y’know, even if Revali wasn’t my biggest fan, it was kind of nice to have him by my side during my journey.’

‘By your side?’ Legend asked curiously. ‘Did he and the others actually accompany you?’

‘Well… no. Not as such,’ Link hedged. ‘It’s not like they were there all the time, but every now and then, especially when I used their gifts, I’d get a sense of how they were feeling. Sometimes, they’d even leave me a few words. Something snarky or encouraging. It was kind of nice having friends, even if they were all technically dead. I mean, other than that, I was alone for most of my journey.’

Legend gaped at him for a long moment before concluding simply, ‘I see. Go on, then.’

‘Well, there was only one Divine Beast left at that point,’ Link said. ‘Vah Naboris, this giant four-legged thing that was stomping around the Gerudo region, throwing up sand and lightning strikes. Good thing I left that one for last, because it was definitely the toughest. I mean, I had to sneak my way through an assassin hideout just to convince the Gerudo Chief to help me out. Oh, did I mention the assassins?’

‘No,’ Legend said faintly.

‘Knew I forgot something,’ Link muttered, before continuing, ‘They’re called the Yiga clan. Ex-Sheikah that worship Ganon and try to kill me, Zelda and anyone else they think count as Ganon’s enemies. I took out their leader a while back, but I still run into the underlings every now and then. There are loads of them, and they’re all over the place. Still, they’re surprisingly easy to distract: just chuck a banana their way and they run over to pick it up.’

‘Wait – seriously?!’ Legend asked incredulously.

‘Yeah. They’re famous for it,’ Link confirmed. ‘Dunno why bananas, though.’

‘So, the reason you threw bananas at Twilight the other day is that you thought he was an assassin?’ asked Legend. His expression turned horrified. ‘Wait, you thought he was an assassin and therefore you threw bananas at him?’

‘Twilight? Oh, yeah, almost forgot about that,’ Link said unconcernedly. ‘Well, it’s not like there aren’t exceptions to the rule, but it’s a pretty useful trick.’

‘He’s gonna be so pissed,’ Legend muttered to himself.

Link shrugged. ‘Hey, if it works it works. Got me through the hideout too. Just had to drop a few bananas here and there, and the guards would go prancing over to pick them up.’ He laughed. ‘It was too easy really. I walked right through the front door, kicked the arse of the leader guy and grabbed the relic he stole from the Gerudo. Then Riju helped me get inside Vah Naboris.’

Link grimaced. ‘Like I said… toughest of all of them. Thunderblight Ganon was fast. And brutal. And could use lightning. I came pretty close to… well, that is to say, I actually… uh… well…’ he swallowed and did his best to focus on more than the sensation of his own heartbeat suddenly racing in his chest. ‘Uhh… well, you probably don’t need the details on that one. It wasn’t, uh… umm, sorry, just give me a moment, I, um…’

Why now, of all times, was his voice deserting him? He was fine. It was in the past. Perhaps not his finest moment, but it wasn’t as if he had a lot of fine moments. What did it even matter if Legend learned the truth? Link took in an unsteady breath, but it barely seemed to fill his lungs.

A warm arm wound around his shoulders. Link flinched, but didn’t pull away. ‘Shh. Steady,’ Legend said softly. ‘No rush. Deep breaths. C’mon, like me.’ He leaned close to let Link hear each inhale and exhale.

‘Uh, sorry, it’s… it’s fine,’ Link stuttered. ‘I’m fine. That one was just a bit, uh –’

‘Shh,’ Legend said insistently. He took another exaggerated breath, which Link shakily mimicked.

After a long pause, Legend asked, ‘Should we stop there for now, or do you want to keep going?’

‘It’s fine,’ Link said quickly. ‘Just… umm… this next part is probably not… particularly heroic. I mean, uh, I already warned you I wasn’t really like you or your friends, and you probably also kind of figured that out from my story so far, so it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise, but just… uhh… just hear me out a little bit before you say or do whatever you want to say or do, ok?’

‘Ok. I will. If you’re sure,’ Legend said carefully. ‘Just remember: you don’t have to force yourself, and if you want a break or a hug or anything else, I’m right here. All you have to do is ask. Promise me you’ll try to speak up if you need to?’

Link hesitated, but eventually he gave a half-hearted nod. He reached slowly for the arm still stretched around his shoulders, drawing strength from its warmth. Misinterpreting the movement, Legend began to pull away, and unthinkingly, Link snatched hold. ‘Wait, no, I didn’t m-mean…’ he stammered. ‘Umm, could you maybe…? A-actually, don’t worry about it, it’s fine, you don’t have to –’

Legend pulled him closer. ‘How’s this?’ he asked.

Link nodded silently, trying to ignore the growing heat in his face. His eyes wandered to the half-full bowl Legend had set aside some time ago, slowly decaying in the sun. Was his cooking really that bad…?

‘Whenever you’re ready, then,’ Legend said calmly, and Link decided to put it out of his mind.

‘Alright,’ he said. ‘So, like I told you earlier, Thunderblight Ganon was way more powerful than the others, and they were already tough. I fought as long as I could, but it just keeps – it just kept regenerating itself, and I couldn’t land a proper hit. The lightning didn’t help either. I had some elixirs to help increase my resistance, but they only do so much. And then I broke half my weapons just trying to get through its shield.

‘Mipha’d already had to save me once by this point, and there’s this – there was this delay period that means her gift can’t be used again in rapid succession. So, imagine I’m standing there, half-dead, looking up at this thing that’s about to round the whole half-dead thing up to the nearest integer. I’ve been fried by lightning, bashed around by metal blocks and slashed across the chest several times, and I’m weeks of travel away from the pickle juice chamber, even if I knew how it worked and even if Zelda could spare another hundred years waiting for me to somehow get my shit together, which she definitely couldn’t.

‘So, uh… I run. Literally teleport out of the battle and leave this thing raging inside Vah Naboris, hoping it doesn’t go anywhere or bother anyone else. Heh. Turns out it was pretty much stuck there and I shouldn’t have worried, but at the time, I wasn’t exactly thinking straight. I’m still bleeding at this point, remember? Not to the point of dying immediately, but definitely to the point of needing some kind of medical care. I’m all out of elixirs, so I start to think about where I can go to get that stuff sorted. Gerudo Town is closest, but just the thought of telling Riju that I fucked up like that… I mean, she specifically said to retreat if I got too injured to continue, and I guess that probably qualified, but I doubt she actually expected it to happen. And then I think: Zora Domain. They have healers. That’s where Mipha came from, after all. But see, Sidon: he thinks I’m a hero. I’ve tried to convince him otherwise, but he’s always trying so hard to be optimistic, and honestly, I think he kind of needs a hero? So, I bleed out a bit more, going through a few options, and eventually decide to go bother Teba over at Rito Village. Dunno why I landed on that, but he was a pretty good sport about it, really, though I think there was a bit of yelling somewhere along the way? I blacked out, so I probably missed most of it. Mipha’s power still hadn’t recharged, so I was thinking, wow, sorry Zelda, what an anticlimactic end to all this, what a waste of pickle juice. What a waste of everyone’s time, everyone’s hopes, I… uh…’

Legend made no comment as Link quietly sniffled and turned his head away, putting his bangs safely between Legend’s gaze and his. ‘Yeah, so as you can probably guess, I didn’t die. Not permanently, at least. I was unconscious for a while – three days, I think? When I woke up, Teba was right there, and he gave me a talking to. Said he’d been worried sick, and didn’t want to see some poor kid die just because that kid felt like playing hero. See, a while back I actually told Teba about the whole hundred year nap thing, and he didn’t believe me. Fair enough really, and if anything, it was nice that he kind of treated me like I was… like I hadn’t… well, it’s not like he didn’t have any faith in my skill, but he still saw me as just a person at the end of the day, and that was nice.

‘He told me I’d still be in bed for another two weeks at least, and that it’d be at least three more after that before I could actually fight again. But I didn’t have five weeks. Or at least, I didn’t think Zelda could wait that long. She didn’t exactly say it, but I could tell that her grasp on Ganon was slowly slipping, day by day, and I’d already wasted so much time. But Teba, he, uh… didn’t know about… hadn’t factored in… that is, uh, Mipha was… umm.

‘S-sorry,’ Link said. ‘I th-think I might need to pause there for a m-moment.’ Flushing red with embarrassment, he swiped at his eyes and muttered another apology.

The embrace around him tightened. ‘Hey, kid, it’s ok,’ Legend murmured. ‘Cry all you need.’

‘But… I don’t –’

‘Shh. It’s ok. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.’

Link took a sharp breath, and all at once, as if that was the sign some part of him had been waiting for, everything that he had been holding back broke loose. With the smallest trace of control left to him, he shoved his face into Legend’s chest and muffled as much of the noise as he could, wincing at the residual racket that tore through the quiet wilderness ambiance. Legend merely stroked his hair and murmured soothingly as Link gasped apologies in between racking breaths. When at last the sobs began to subside, Link felt thin fabric rub gently at the tear tracks on his face and looked blearily up at Legend’s concerned expression.

‘Well, that was embarrassing,’ Link commented wetly.

‘Hey, so’s this,’ Legend replied, shifting his grasp on the damp handkerchief to show off the clumsy embroidery of a little pink bunny in the corner, complete with the words “Mr Hero”.

Link gave a surprised giggle. ‘What the heck – are you kidding? That’s adorable.’ His smile dropped. ‘Oh, is it ok for me to get that dirty? It looks important. Sorry, I didn’t mean to –’

Legend shook his head, face almost as pink as the embroidery. ‘Don’t worry about it. It’s enchanted to clean itself, anyway. Waste of good magic, really, especially since Ravi only gave it to me as a joke.’

‘Pretty heartfelt for a joke gift,’ Link teased. ‘And how nice of you to carry it around like that.’

Legend coughed. ‘Well. Anyway.’

They lapsed into awkward silence for a long moment. Eventually, Link sighed. ‘I should probably finish that story,’ he said.

‘You don’t have to,’ Legend reminded him.

‘Yeah, but that’s a shitty place to leave things,’ Link replied. ‘Mind if I blow my gross nose all over your nice, self-cleaning handkerchief?’

‘Be my guest.’

Link blew his gross nose all over Legend’s nice, self-cleaning handkerchief. ‘Phew. Much better. Where was I again? Oh yeah: the part where I teleported away from Bird Dad and self-medicated my way to full health via swan dive off a cliff.’

Legend made an odd choking sound, face paling. ‘C-can you please not put it like that?’

‘Like what?’ Link asked, blowing his nose a second time for good measure.

Legend gave him an incredulous look. ‘Ok, not to be a hypocrite or anything, but your trauma coping mechanisms are stressful as all hell.’

‘Heh. They kinda are, huh?’ Link chuckled.

Legend’s face only furrowed further. ‘Are you supposed to be laughing right now? Should I be concerned that you’re laughing right now?’

‘Eh. How should I know?’ Link replied offhandedly. ‘You’re the first person I’ve ever told this stuff to.’

Legend’s response to that was such a horrified expression that Link couldn’t help but burst into renewed laughter, tears leaking from his eyes. ‘Oh, wow. You know, maybe you have a point,’ he choked out. ‘I definitely shouldn’t be laughing at this.’

‘You’re kidding, right?’ Legend demanded. ‘I’m the first person you told? Me?! Gods above. Fucking Hylia, Din, Farore, Nayru, whoever or whatever is responsible for this, why the fuck did you put me, the fucking least emotionally intelligent person in the history of Hyrule in charge of – stop laughing, you maniac.’

‘I’m trying,’ Link complained in between chuckles. ‘You’re just – for the “least emotionally intelligent person in the history of Hyrule”, you’re taking this rather well.’

‘I’m taking it well?! I’m fucking freaking out!’ Legend shouted. ‘Holy shit, kid! I was doing my best to keep calm and comfort you, never mind my sudden, irrational hatred of bananas or the fact that I never want to hear the word “pickle” ever again, and –’

‘Pickle,’ said Link.

Legend screamed in frustration.

‘Is this cannibalism?’ Link asked, as he swiped and ate some of the remaining radish from Legend’s discarded rice bowl.

‘Leave your poor cousin alone,’ Legend moaned, and Link snickered. The hand on his hair returned to its calm, rhythmic motion. ‘C’mon kid, don’t start laughing again. My poor heart can’t handle it.’

Link cleared his throat. ‘Umm… speaking of which… when I said you were handling things well –’

‘You lied?’ Legend suggested.

‘No. But I wanted to ask…’ he trailed off, turned his anxious gaze back to Legend, and blurted out, ‘Do you hate me?’

The hand on his hair paused. ‘Kid, why the hell would you even ask that?’ Legend said harshly. ‘Did I do something wrong? If I did, I apologise, I never meant to –’

‘That’s not it,’ Link cut in. ‘You… you didn’t do anything. That’s the thing.’ His hands tightened on the fabric of Legend’s tunic. ‘When I… back then,’ he began haltingly. ‘When Mipha healed me that time, the first thing I see upon waking is her looming over me, anger written all over her face. And Mipha never got angry before. Not as far as I could remember, and never since after the shrine. But she was angry then. She looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Don’t ever do that again”. And that’s the last thing she ever said to me. She’d still heal me after that, but she never spoke, and all I ever felt from her from that moment onwards was anger and disappointment. Maybe that was the moment she figured out that I wasn’t the person she’d fallen in love with. That that person was long gone. I don’t know for sure, because she n-never told me.

‘After the Calamity went down, all of the ghosts that had been travelling with me were finally free from their duties, and I guess they moved on to wherever dead people go when they’re not revived by pickle juice or other dead people. It was so sudden, and I s-still don’t know. If they hated me. If they ever forgave me for letting them die. If Daruk still saw me as a brother, and if Revali ever saw me as a friend. If Urbosa ever saw me as a person at all, or just as a tool to protect her best friend’s daughter. Why M-Mipha stopped talking to me.’

‘Oh, kid,’ Legend said softly.

‘I’m a h-hundred and s-sixteen,’ Link pointed out. ‘That’s what? S-six times your age?’

‘You’re a one-hundred-and-sixteen-year-old kid, kid,’ Legend said firmly. ‘And while I don’t know your friends well enough to know their minds, I do know that none of this was your fault. Of course I don’t hate you.’

Link took another shuddering breath. ‘So, y-yeah, there’s my story,’ he concluded. ‘Most of it, at least. I promise I didn’t enter into it with the intent of s-snivelling all over you.’

Legend’s arms tightened around him. ‘C’mon kid,’ he said, ‘you can snivel over me a bit more thoroughly than that.’

‘Is that a challenge?’

‘Yeah, kid, I fucking dare you. Let’s test the limits of this whole “self-cleaning handkerchief” thing. If you manage to out-snivel Ravio’s enchantment, I’m gonna rub it right in his fucking face.’

‘Wow, you’re an arsehole,’ Link commented.

‘And you’re not snivelling nearly enough,’ Legend retorted.

Link considered that statement, and decided to ask, ‘How hard am I supposed to s-snivel, anyway?’

‘How the fuck should I know?’ Legend demanded. ‘Do I look like I have any idea how this stuff works?’

‘I mean, kinda, yeah,’ Link replied honestly. ‘Not that I have anything to compare with, but you s-seem to be doing pretty good to me.’

‘What the fuck – no I’m not!’ Legend groaned. ‘I need an adult. I am an adult, but I need an adultier adult. A well-adjusted adult. Damn it, Twi, this should’ve been you.’

Link couldn’t help himself: he burst out into laughter once more – laughter that only grew at the sight of the dismayed expression on Legend’s face.

‘You really… you really don’t hate me?’ he eventually calmed down enough to ask.

Legend shook his head. ‘There’s no way I could hate you.’

Link’s eyes welled up once more. ‘Not even if I manage to out-snivel your nice, embroidered handkerchief?’

‘Not even then.’

Chapter Text

Sky hadn’t meant to fall asleep. He really hadn’t. It was just that the burrow he’d dug himself into at the base of one of Wind’s pit traps was maybe just a little too comfortable, and that he might have been just a little too tired, and that he might have gotten just a little bit bored, and that he might have decided to let his eyes close for just one moment, or maybe two, but certainly no more than three or four.

The next thing he knew, Sky was being shaken awake to the sound of a gentle enquiry: ‘You still kicking in there?’

He grunted out an affirmation and blearily opened his eyes, jolting at the sight of the blonde teenager crouched before him. ‘Tag,’ Link informed him, before adding, ‘Seriously though, do you need help getting out? I think I might’ve walked on top of you earlier. Only stopped because I heard the snoring.’

‘I don’t snore,’ Sky complained half-heartedly as he wiggled free from his hiding place.

‘Really? There must be a moblin hiding nearby then, because I definitely heard something snoring.’

Sky grimaced and opened his mouth to say something, then halted, taking in the redness of Link’s eyes and nose. ‘Link – what happened?’ he asked. ‘Are you alright?’

‘Me?’ Link asked. ‘I’m fine. You’re the one who was buried underground ten seconds ago. Pretty sure Hylians aren’t meant to do that. Unless you’re secretly a spider or something?’

‘Do spiders dig holes?’ Sky asked curiously. ‘I mean, a mole comparison would make sense, I suppose, but spiders are not really the first thing that comes to – never mind. It’s just that you look like you’ve been crying, and –’

‘I do?!’ Link demanded. ‘Shit.’ He lifted a hand to scrub at his face, drawing it away a moment later to scan for incriminating evidence. ‘Whoops,’ he said. ‘Kind of forgot how the whole crying thing works.’

Sky blinked. ‘Oh,’ he said. ‘Did you?’

‘Yeah. Sorry, bit embarrassing. Oh, and speaking of embarrassing…’ Link rubbed awkwardly at the back of his neck, then reached for his Sheikah Slate. A few moments later, a pile of broken machinery appeared in his hands. ‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘I kind of overreacted, and I thought… well, sorry for a lot of things, really, I get the sense I really caused a mess, but I’m also specifically sorry for this. I’ll try to get it fixed, if I can.’

‘Don’t worry about it,’ Sky told him firmly. He held out his hands, and the Beetle’s remains were sheepishly deposited into the hollow they formed. He tucked the scrap metal away in his bag. ‘I know a mechanic I can take this to,’ he added. ‘And really, I should have known better. It’s pretty obvious why you reacted the way you did.’

‘Because I’m a dumbass?’ Link suggested.

Sky frowned. ‘No. Because, intentionally or not, I triggered your memories of trauma.’

‘Because I’m a dumbass,’ Link concluded. Before Sky could argue the point further, he added, ‘Anyway, I know this is an awkward time to ask, but could you do me a favour by any chance?’

Unhappily, Sky let it go. ‘What do you need?’

‘Could you check in on Legend?’ Link asked.

Sky wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting, but it wasn’t that. ‘Why? Is something wrong with him?’

Link winced. ‘I’m not sure. You, umm, you probably would know better than me. Physically? He said he overused his magic, and I’m not sure exactly how that works. Mentally? I, uh, kind of vented at him a bit, then cried on him a lot, and then he ended up telling me some… stuff, too. I don’t know if he’d want me to share the specifics. He said he was fine, but if you could just, uh, check?’ Link jerked a thumb back over his shoulder. ‘I’m not the best at comforting people, and he was kind of amazing at it. He should still be somewhere near the Shrine of Resurrection, or maybe heading back to the others.’

‘Alright,’ Sky agreed. ‘Do you want to come with me?’

‘Better not,’ Link replied. ‘I think I’ve imposed enough. Anyway, I still have a tag game to win, right? Just might, uh, clean my face a bit first. Bye.’

‘Wait!’ Sky called out as Link began to stride off in the direction of the river.

Link glanced back at him. ‘Hm? What is it?’

‘You know where our campsite is, right?’ Sky asked. He pointed back through the forest. ‘Come and join us whenever. It’s not imposing. Ok?’

Link didn’t meet his gaze. ‘Ok,’ he replied unconvincingly. In no time at all, he was out of sight.

Sky sighed. ‘Good enough, I suppose,’ he mumbled, before turning back in the direction Link had indicated.

Several false starts and more several more expletives later, Legend finally managed to lift himself up onto his feet. Slowly, leaning heavily on the Cane of Somaria, he hobbled his way downhill.

Link had left some time ago. Rather abruptly, truth be told, though Legend couldn’t be sure which of them had pushed the other away hardest in the end.

He grimaced at the thought, wishing, not for the first time, that there was a non-paradox-inducing way of punching his past self in the face. Past-Legend needed to pay for his crimes somehow. Post-incident-Legend’s mind was already whirling with all the things he could have said, all the things he picked up on far too late, all the unnecessary words he could have just kept to himself…

But he’d been there at the right moment, hadn’t he? That had to count for something, didn’t it?

He glanced over his shoulder at the magical construct that still barred the entrance to the Shrine of Resurrection, and wondered, once again, if he’d actually been any help at all.

Link winced at the sight of the tear-streaked face that winced back through the camera display on his slate. Really, crying his heart out was not a good look. No wonder Sky had been concerned.

The remembered voices of the four Champions no longer clamoured for attention inside his head. He felt… calm. A kind of peace had settled over him, one he hadn’t realised was missing until it was suddenly regained. Behind that calm, he felt tired. Just how many days in a row had he spent travelling and fighting and hurting this time? Maybe Zelda had a point about the whole taking breaks thing. Maybe that point wasn’t that he was a weakling, a worthless failure and a despicable liability. Maybe Zelda had never really thought those things about him. Maybe he’d ask her, next time they met, and maybe he’d actually listen to the answer this time.

Or maybe he wouldn’t.

That just wouldn’t be him, now, would it? It had never been him before, at least since awakening in the Shrine of Resurrection, and from the little he recalled of the stoic knight that had once served Zelda in the pre-Calamity times, it hadn’t been him either.

Who would it be, then? Who would he be, if the amnesiac who wore that silent knight’s face was somehow able to gather the courage to speak up at last? Would Link even recognise himself?

Perhaps it was his strange mood, or perhaps it was the location, so close to where they had first met, that brought a new voice to mind in place of that of the Champions: ‘If you do not know deep in your soul that you stand beside them as an equal, then in the end, you will be nothing but a burden,’ Dark Link informed him. ‘You will put not only your own life in danger, but theirs as well.’

‘Deep in my soul, you say?’ Link murmured.

What did Link know, deep within what was supposedly the same soul as that of all the other heroes?

He’d learned more about that soul over the past few days than he ever expected. He’d encountered Legend’s boundless courage, Hyrule’s fierce care, Twilight’s powerful gentleness. If he stayed near the others, perhaps he’d learn even more in time.

Did those traits exist within the soul of the hero, or were they innate to its inheritor? If Link could see them in the others who possessed that soul, then would he ever be able to see them in himself?

He stared into the makeshift mirror his slate offered, searching for some kind of answer. His reflection stared back with equal confusion, providing nothing but more questions.

‘You don’t have to keep apologising, you know?’ Legend had exasperatedly reminded Link after the hundredth or so occurrence.

‘Sorry,’ Link had automatically replied. Realisation had struck moments later. ‘Umm… I mean…’

‘It’s fine. Just… you know, I’m the one who asked you to sit down and talk to me. It’s not as if you’re doing something I didn’t agree to.’

‘Yeah, I guess, but… umm… I mean, you’ve probably got better stuff to do… well, I guess that’s true for your whole group, and… shit, I really screwed up, didn’t I? How pissed off are all your friends, anyway?’

(‘Not pissed off at all. Just tell him that,’ post-incident-Legend urged.)

‘I mean, Hyrule was just about ready to explode on you for teleporting away with injuries like that, but I think he got most of the rage out of his system earlier,’ past-Legend joked.

(Damn it, past-Legend.)

The awkward silence had stretched on for a long moment while past-Legend tried his best to not squirm. ‘Hey. Umm… can I ask a bit of a weird question?’ Link had eventually asked.

‘Shoot,’ past-Legend had said all too eagerly.

‘Do I… do I belong with you? With all the heroes, I mean? Am I one of you?’

Past-Legend had stared blankly at Link, bemused by the question. Post-incident-Legend slapped his post-incident-self, because, pending any further time shenanigans, it was the closest he would ever come to achieving vengeance against the bane of his existence.

‘O-ok, that definitely came out weird. Just, umm, just a feeling I had the other night,’ Link had hastened to explain, a blush spreading across his cheeks. ‘When I was fighting alongside Hyrule on the night of the Blood Moon, I… for a moment, I felt like I was supposed to be there. L-like I f-fit in. It’s fine, you can laugh.’

Past-Legend hadn’t laughed. One point for past-Legend, but he was on thin fucking ice.

‘Kid, can you listen to me for a moment?’ he had said. ‘I want to tell you something, and I want you to listen for a moment rather than just rejecting it outright. Can you do that for me?’

Link had nodded cautiously, so Legend had continued, ‘All this time you’ve been telling us that you’re not a hero, but you fucking are, alright? I’m not saying that because you owe anyone anything or because I want anything out of you. I’m saying that because you deserve some goddess-damned credit. You fought against ridiculous odds, you never gave up and you won. You saved everyone. Zelda thinks you’re a hero, I’m sure many others do too. I have absolutely no doubt that you belong with us. Why would that ever even be in question?’

Every sentence had earned him a flinch, but Link had waited patiently for him to finish before replying shakily, ‘Because I failed. Don’t you get it? Thousands – no, probably millions of people died because of me. Beating Ganon a hundred years later doesn’t mean the Calamity never happened. And even if it did, I barely even accomplished that. I wasted time, I died again and again, I made a mess of everything, and I was almost too late. I just…’ His eyes had flickered away from Legend, words flowing faster and faster. ‘It shouldn’t have been me that Zelda saved. It could have been so many other people. And if I ever really possessed the hero’s spirit, then maybe if I’d died back then, someone else could have –’

‘Don’t say that,’ Legend had cut in sharply. ‘Don’t ever say that.’ Hastily, he’d added, ‘I’m not angry, and I don’t hate you, just… please don’t talk about yourself like that.’

Legend shuddered at the memory, stumbling slightly over an unexpected dip in the crumbling stone steps. ‘Fucking hell, kid,’ he said aloud. And fucking hell, past-Legend.

‘You wanna talk about failure?’ past-Legend had asked abruptly. ‘You wanna talk catastrophic fuck-ups? Then buckle up, kid: my turn to play storyteller.’

Post-incident-Legend slapped himself once more, just on the off-chance it would carry back through time. It hadn’t yet, as far as he could tell, but maybe there was a special technique to it. Someone had to remind past-Legend that blurting out shitty stories about dream islands that may or may not have ever even have existed, and which he may or may not have destroyed, was not the best way to reward the rare moment of vulnerability he had been trusted with. He’d even started crying himself, for Hylia’s sake. As if the poor kid hadn’t had enough of his own waterworks.

(Fucking Ravio and his fucking snivel-proof handkerchief, for that matter. Legend was going to have to buy that freeloading arsehole flowers or something now, wasn’t he?)

‘You’re not a fucking failure,’ past-Legend had eventually concluded in a growl.

(So far, so good.)

‘You’re not fucking broken,’ past-Legend had added.

(Going strong.)

‘And if you ever talk that way about yourself again, I’m gonna break your fucking nose,’ past-Legend had informed the precious, innocent, tear-stained teen clutched in his embrace.

(WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!)

And yet, against all odds, Link had been positively cheerful when they parted, if a little concerned by Legend’s continued inability to stand up and walk like a grown adult. No, Legend had assured Link, he was certainly not in need of any further assistance.

It wasn’t as if he was in any rush to return and face judgement, and he hadn’t exactly lied: he was feeling better. Whatever sorcery Link had worked may not have replenished Legend’s reserves, but it did wipe away much of the tiredness that always accompanied magic depletion. To think that cooking could accomplish such a thing. The least Legend could do in return was give some tag advice and an item Link could use to mess with Warriors. So what if that constituted cheating? Pretty boy had it coming.

Legend reached the end of the path and paused to regard the Temple of Time with a curious eye, before swerving off to enter the towering ruins.

From a young age, long before his peaceful world had been thrown into turmoil, Legend had been taught how to pray. Even after his first few quests, he’d still found some peace in the act – if not from faith itself, then from the familiarity of the ritual.

But those days were far behind him. Legend had grown from a scared yet curious child into a cynical adult, and that small piece of comfort that prayer once brought grew smaller and smaller, until it was too small to even notice. Instead, Legend walked right up to the looming goddess statue, surveyed it critically for a moment, and then indulged in one of the few interactions with the divine that still brought any kind of catharsis: ‘Hey, fuck you,’ he announced with the most enthusiastic middle-fingered salute his aching body could manage.

Much better.

Indeed, by the time Legend turned away, he had managed to muster up a satisfied smile. It dropped at the sight of the blade pointed at his face.

‘My, my,’ the newcomer purred. ‘Of all people, fancy catching the Hero of Legend off-guard.’

Zelda watched as Red jolted to sudden alertness, head turning towards the steady flowing veil of water that formed one of the walls of their hiding place. ‘What is it?’ she asked intently.

For a long moment, there was no response. Red’s brow furrowed, gaze unfocused, and Zelda realised they must be conversing with the other colours.

‘There’s… someone out there,’ Red eventually stated hesitantly. ‘Th-they’re not dangerous, but I… umm… I need to go out and meet them. Would you be alright if I left you here for just a moment?’

Zelda studied Red’s wide, beseeching expression. ‘Will you be alright? You’re being awfully secretive.’

Red winced. ‘Umm… no, that’s… w-well, I can’t r-really tell you, but it’s nothing to worry about. Honest. If you could just stay here for a little bit… oh, but if anything bad does happen, or if I’m not back within half an hour, just teleport to the tower, and I’ll f-find you. Alright?’

‘Maybe I’d better come with you,’ Zelda replied.

‘No!’ Red said quickly. ‘No. I mean, if Link’s nearby, it’s better that we don’t both get tagged, right? And it’s r-really nothing to worry about. I j-just can’t tell you yet.’

Zelda pursed her lips. ‘Half an hour’s a long time,’ she commented. ‘Where exactly are you going?’

Red grimaced. ‘F-fifteen minutes should be enough. But just in case…’

Zelda sighed. It didn’t seem like she was going to get any more information than that. ‘Alright,’ she allowed. ‘I’ll wait here, then.’

Red nodded gratefully and scurried off, either ignoring or failing to notice Zelda’s sceptical gaze. She waited patiently for a few minutes, then closed her eyes and opened her senses.

Much of her sacred power had waned in the wake of Ganon’s banishment, but the few remaining embers granted certain abilities beyond that of the average Hylian. Zelda cast her mind outwards, easily tracking down Red’s aura. There was a second aura nearby, but it was so similar that Zelda could only assume it belonged to another colour. She relaxed at the realisation that there was nothing more malicious to be found nearby. Red’s behaviour was strange, but she supposed they must have their reasons.

She continued to seek outwards, though her range was frustratingly small and her senses dull compared to the days when her spirit could fly to Link’s side in an instant to warn him of danger or offer him advice. For the moment at least, Zelda was relatively confident that Link was nowhere nearby, though she had detected several strange traces of his aura: in the cave itself, of course, and scattered around the nearby bokoblin camp as well, but also in the waters that cut between the two locales, as if, at some point in the past day or so, he’d gone for a long, relaxed swim in the frigid currents. If he had, she would have words to say about that. Lots of words. Angry words. Starting with the following: why?! Just, why, Link?!

She sat there steaming over her frustrations for a long moment before scuffling noises near the cave entrance shattered her concentration. Zelda gave a startled shriek and scuttled backwards, reaching for her dagger.

‘It’s just me!’ Red called out placatingly.

Zelda forced herself to relax. ‘Please don’t scare me like that,’ she entreated.

Red approached sheepishly, breath misting around their face and hands tucked away in their elbows for warmth. Zelda felt the sudden rush of adrenaline melt away into concern at their shivering. ‘Oh dear. I should have given you a coat,’ she said. ‘How thoughtless of me.’

‘Oh! I-it’s ok,’ Red replied. ‘It’s not that bad.’

Zelda shook her head. ‘Just give me a moment.’ She fumbled through her slate’s menu, drawing out one of the spare changes of clothing she kept. It wasn’t much compared to Link’s seemingly endless wardrobe, but it would hopefully help keep her companion warm. Red gratefully donned the coat and gloves she provided and curled into Zelda’s side – closer than she expected, but understandable considering their continued shivers.

‘Sky got caught,’ they reported wearily. ‘Sounds like Link’s over to the south-east now.’

It seemed she really wasn’t going to get any answers.

‘Hmm,’ she mused. ‘That’s Warriors’s location, isn’t it?’

‘Mm-hmm,’ Red confirmed. ‘The new Link’s got his work cut out for him this time.’

Zelda quirked an eyebrow. ‘You mean Warriors?’

‘No.’

‘…Shall we bet on it, then?’

‘What the fuck, how the fuck, why the fuck,’ Warriors chanted to himself as he ran at full-speed from the axe-wielding maniac clad in boxer shorts and a lynel mask.

‘You’re going to have to be more specific!’ said lynel-masked axe-wielding maniac shouted back. With a sudden burst of speed, Link rushed at Warriors, who barely managed to tumble out of the way in time.

Obligingly, Warriors explained, ‘What the fuck is going on, how the fuck are you so fast, why the fuck are you dressed like that, and, most importantly: why the fuck are you holding an axe?!’

‘We’re playing tag, and so far you’re… huff… the only one actually doing it properly,’ Link yelled back breathlessly. ‘I’m fast because… huff… speed-boosting cooking and… huff… Pegasus boots apparently stack, I’m wearing the mask because I thought it’d be funny, and I’m wielding an axe because… huff… I thought it’d be funny!’

‘Wait – are those Legend’s Pegasus boots?!’ Warriors yelped. He swerved away from a wild swing of the axe (the flat of the axe, but still, what the fuck).

‘Yeah, he… huff… said I could borrow them!’ Link yelled back. ‘Said I’d need them since you’re… huff… stupid fast!’

A generous compliment indeed, by Legend’s standards, Warriors noted wryly, but the thought fled his mind as he was forced to dodge yet another bull rush. He glanced over to see Link continue on his way for several more metres before abruptly halting and turning, panting heavily.

Interesting.

With the boots equipped, Link may be faster than Warriors, but Warriors was far more agile, especially since Link clearly wasn’t accustomed to using the item just yet. Warriors quickly scanned his surroundings, finding only clear, flat ground that offered nowhere to hide. He’d thought it the perfect place to counter the stealthy approaches and chaotic manoeuvres that Link clearly favoured, yet the terrain had since turned on him. He needed a better position – one that would force Link from terrifying direct charges and into more measured footwork.

Turning his back on an opponent wouldn’t be clever, but if he was slow and careful, making use of the little cover he had… well, it wasn’t as if he had no options. Dodging again, Warriors quickly mapped out a path: head behind that rock, over to those trees, further along the cliffside, over to the battered ruins of what Time claimed as the former Hyrule Castle, stand near the crumbling battlements, wait for Link to charge…

Was it rude to lure a new companion off a cliff? Probably, but in his defence, it wasn’t a particularly tall cliff. Link would probably be fine, and if he wasn’t, well, diligent soldier such as he was, Warriors had a first aid kit and some potions at hand, so either way: probably fine.

There was a loud crash and a louder curse as Link crashed into a tree and dropped his axe. Rather than check for concussions (again: probably fine), Warriors took the opportunity to dash for the next waypoint on his mental map.

Link recovered in time to make another charge, narrowly dodging another tree and narrowly not dodging the rock that Warriors had quickly shifted into his path.

‘FUCK!’ Link shrieked.

‘EAT SHIT!’ Warriors yelled back in a childishly gleeful tone he would deny to the death if Wind, Time or Legend ever asked.

The lynel mask and the distance hid Link’s reaction, but Warriors did spot the moment the axe dematerialised into swirling blue lights. He breathed a small sigh of relief as he ducked behind a chunk of ancient carved stone. Mere moments later, he was forced to throw himself back once again as Link surged forward, this time managing not to collide with the branch Warriors had shifted into his path.

‘Not bad,’ Link wheezed.

‘Something wrong, Link?’ Warriors teased. ‘You’re slowing down.’ He shifted once more, confirming with the briefest of glances that he was perhaps two more sprints from target.

‘Mm,’ Link replied. ‘I suppose the effects would have worn off by now. Maybe I should get serious, then.’ He reached for his slate and produced a blue potion, tilting the lynel mask while he drank.

Warriors’s smile drooped just a little. ‘Wait, what?’

‘Much better,’ Link breathed, stretching and cricking his neck for a moment before lowering himself into a crouch and dashing forward at triple speed.

‘Wait, are you a moron, how is that –?!’ Warriors cut off, throwing himself back as Link charged again. As expected, Link had even less control than before, and the distance between them doubled. Warriors frowned. It seemed this new Link still had a few lessons to learn about tactics. Perhaps Warriors could even teach him, once they finally had a chance to –

A wooden ladle flew through the air, striking Warriors squarely on the cheek. ‘What the fu–?’ he had time to ask before he was once again dodging a ridiculously fast –

A slow charge? Well, not quite slow, but definitely not as fast as it should have –

In the space of a moment, Warriors watched as Link turned on his feet, far more agile than Legend’s borrowed equipment would have allowed, and raised his elbow to strike Warriors in the gut.

Warriors stumbled and fell, with Link tumbling right after. ‘Oof,’ he grunted on landing.

Bright laughter cut through his grumbling. Warriors lifted himself up to see a grinning teen looming above, lynel mask discarded on the ground and hair falling loose and tangled around his shoulders. ‘Tag,’ Link announced proudly.

‘You’re a lunatic,’ Warriors chuckled. He reached out to ruffle Link’s hair, earning him a confused and slightly betrayed expression.

‘Why does everyone keep doing that?’ he whined.

Warriors grinned. ‘Because I thought it’d be funny?’

Link pouted in a deeply funny way, and Warriors snorted. ‘Here, kid, you’re a mess. Let me tidy that up for you,’ he offered, reaching out to finger comb the leaves out of Link’s dirty golden tresses. A little piece of him wondered if he was overstepping, but it died down easily enough as Link gave a world-weary sigh and held out a spare hair tie.

‘You’re good,’ Link admitted as he worked. ‘At that whole tag thing, at least. And, I guess, at hair? But yeah, I wasn’t really expecting that, considering how all the others just kinda stood around and did nothing but act surprised while I ran in and tagged them.’

Warriors regarded him bemusedly. ‘Really?’

Link shrugged, trying not to jostle Warriors as he gently braided and tied his client’s hair. ‘Yeah, it was weird. I mean, this is supposed to be a running game, right? Yet you’re the only one who actually ran away. I mean, I pulled Legend and Green out of a tree, then Hyrule ran at me while Twilight just watched, then Blue and Wind came and fought the talus with me and stuck around for a conversation, then I got Time because he was trying to be invisible – which is sort of cheating, I guess? – and then Vio just set up a bunch of dangerous-looking traps that I ignored, and –’

‘Wow, when you put it like that…’ Warriors remarked.

‘Sky was asleep when I caught him,’ Link announced.

‘Huh. Yeah, I can see that happening.’

‘So at least you know how tag is supposed to work,’ Link concluded. ‘And I guess Zelda and Red as well, since they’re still in the game. Technically.’

‘Technically?’ Warriors repeated.

‘Yeah. Because I’m quitting,’ Link confirmed.

‘Oh. I see,’ Warriors replied absentmindedly. Then Link’s words sunk in. ‘H-hold on, when you say quitting –?’

‘Oh yeah, I should clarify that, huh?’ Link observed. ‘See, Hyrule gave me an impressive lecture about self-worth, then Legend and I had a big trauma venting session, then Sky did his own pep talk thing, and all this has brought me to a very important realisation about my hundred-and-sixteen-year-old existence.’

‘…And that is?’

‘That I’m eighty fucking years past retirement age,’ Link revealed flatly.

Warrior’s frown returned. Something about that number didn’t quite seem to stack up… but no, that wasn’t the issue –

‘So, I thought to myself,’ Link continued, ‘what the heck am I doing here? There are so many other things I could be doing. I could be relaxing in the sun in Lurelin. I could be shield surfing down Mount Hebra. I could be taming and riding wild rhinoceroses down Mount Hebra. I could be settling down in my nice little home in Hateno, learning how to grow vegetables and rice, maybe adopt a pet or two –’

‘A ferret?’ Warriors joked feebly.

Link gave him a disgusted look. ‘What kind of weirdo do you take me for? Fuck no, I’m getting a dog. Not some shitty little knock-off-cat of a dog either, a fucking beast of a dog. A dog big enough to ride into battle. In fact: fuck getting a dog, I’m getting a bear.’

‘…A bear?’

‘Yeah, I mean, they’re basically just dogs on a larger scale, right?’

Warriors’s brow furrowed. ‘You mean a wolf?’

‘The fuck are you on about?’ Link demanded. ‘There’s no way I could ride a wolf into battle. Battle of course meaning battle with the weeds and pests in my farm, my farm in which I am settling down and retiring. What, you think a wolf can pull a plough? You think a wolf can harvest crops? You think a wolf can herd goats? Fuck that, I’m getting a bear. Anyway, can you tell the others I’m done with this whole tag game thing?’

‘Link,’ said Warriors, ‘you’re telling me all this with a very straight face, and that makes it very hard for me to tell if you’re serious, if you’re joking, or if you just hit your head a bit too hard on one of those trees. Can you please make that a little bit clearer for me?’

‘Can do,’ Link agreed. He shuffled away from Warriors, rose to his feet, and loudly declared, ‘I. Quit.’ In the off-chance of a misunderstanding, he repeated the phrase in the Zora tongue, followed by a second verbal language that Warriors didn’t recognise (possibly Gerudo?), followed by Hylian sign: indicating to himself, shaking both fists once then opening his hands, splayed fingers pointing up at the heavens. As if that wasn’t enough, two swords appeared in Link’s hands: Link held them out like a pair of war fans, slowly spelling out the same phrase in military semaphore.

‘I think I get it,’ Warriors stated.

The swords vanished. ‘Well good, because I forget how to do the “t”,’ Link informed him. ‘Honestly, I’m amazed I got that far. Amnesia’s a bitch.’

‘Ok, but just because I understand your words doesn’t mean I understand why you’re suddenly planning to run off, catch a bear and retire,’ Warriors clarified. ‘Aren’t you at least going to talk to Fl- to Zelda first?’

‘She’ll be fine,’ Link said dismissively. ‘I mean, she has a slate too, after all, right? If she runs into trouble, she can just teleport away. Not like it’s any of my business, anyway: her knight died a hundred years ago, right alongside my regular paycheck. Do you know how much unpaid overtime I’ve been doing since then? In fact, she’s the one who’s always pestering me about retiring, so she can hardly get upset that I’m finally taking her advice. But yeah, make sure to pass on my regards to her, and to all your friends. Thanks for the braid, too. And with that: I’m off.’

‘Now hold on just a second –’ Warriors began, right in time for Link to don a greyish mask and vanish from view. ‘Wait,’ the beleaguered captain said weakly. ‘Come on. If you just disappear like that, I won’t be able to tell if you’re actually being serious.’

‘That’s fair,’ Link conceded after abruptly reappearing several paces away. ‘Alright. Well, in that case: watch this.’

He crouched, clicked his heels against the ground, and before Warriors could do more than cry out in alarm, Link was once more charging across the field, this time headed for the edge of the plateau.

Warriors stumbled after. ‘Link!’ he yelled. ‘Stop! You’re going to –!’

Link reached the cliff edge, and for one brief, almost comical moment, he continued to move forward, before, with shocking suddenness, gravity caught up.

‘LINK!’ Warriors screamed. He stumbled frantically over in time to see a distant figure drifting off beneath a maroon paraglider, momentum pushing it further and further away like a sailboat caught by a powerful tailwind, until Link finally slipped below the tree line and disappeared from view.

‘Well,’ Warriors announced to the empty air, ‘fuck.’

‘He’s bluffing,’ Zelda announced confidently the moment she heard the news. ‘He’ll be back in no time. If he ever really left, that is.’

‘You sure about that?’ Red asked hesitantly. ‘Because from what Warriors saw –’

‘No, Link is definitely bluffing,’ Zelda interrupted. It didn’t matter that she couldn’t sense him nearby. It didn’t. ‘There’s no way he’d abandon a game midway through like that. Not when he’s already committed. Not at the last moment, after finding everyone except us. Especially not when there’s a penalty involved. There’s just no way.’

One hour and several doubting glances from Red later, Zelda held firm.

‘He’s bluffing,’ she insisted. ‘He’s definitely bluffing.’

‘If you say so,’ Red offered dubiously.

Time slipped by. The sun drifted closer to the horizon, and Zelda’s Sheikah Slate vibrated: Teba and his companions had been held up and wouldn’t arrive until sometime the next day. ‘It’s ok. He’s bluffing, anyway,’ Zelda informed Teba, after giving her own status update.

There was a judgemental pause, followed by a dry, ‘Of course, Your Highness.’ Teba politely left it there.

Another hour passed.

‘He’s not bluffing,’ Zelda observed at last. Her face screwed up in a scowl. ‘Why is he not bluffing?’

‘Should we wait for sunset?’ Red asked.

Zelda gave a resigned sigh, and shook her head. ‘No point. Much as I despise admitting it, Link simply doesn’t have the patience for this sort of prank. We may as well return.’

Morale was rather low and the welcome rather poor when Zelda and Red returned to camp, whether due to the sulky, blanket-clad Legend being alternatingly fussed over and lectured by Hyrule, the two unexpected glares Red received from Blue and Green upon arrival (Vio having apparently set up her bedroll and gone to sleep already), or the dark, depressing presence of a gloomy trio consisting of Warriors, Twilight and Sky.

Only Wind and Time appeared to be in a good mood, already huddled around a bubbling pot. ‘We went fishing!’ Wind announced cheerfully. ‘Twi found some nice vegetables and mushrooms too! I’m making grandma’s soup – or some approximation of it, anyway. You’re staying for dinner, right Zelda?’

‘Yes please,’ Zelda said morosely.

Wind made a face. ‘Cheer up. He can’t have gone far, right?’

‘He’s very fast. Teba may be able to intercept him, but…’ Zelda sighed. ‘Perhaps I should not be surprised, but you know, I really thought things were going well with him.’

‘They were,’ Time agreed. ‘And perhaps, they still are. Have a little faith, Your Highness.’

‘Zelda,’ she corrected. ‘Or Flora, if you prefer.’ Her eyes strayed to Vio’s prone form, concealed beneath a blanket. ‘Is she alright?’

‘Just tired,’ Blue assured her as he gently stroked Vio’s hair. ‘We’ll be fine as soon as we merge.’ He threw a sharp glare at Red. ‘Which we will do any moment now. Right?’

Red pretended not to hear the question, instead looking over to Warriors. ‘Did he really give up like that, do you think?’ they wondered aloud. ‘I’m with Floz– with Flora. This seems so sudden. It makes me wonder if it’s all some kind of trick.’

‘I saw him glide away,’ Warriors said glumly. ‘And when I say away, I mean away. I doubt he’d be able to get back in time, even if he wanted to.’

‘He’s always been stubborn,’ Zelda sighed. ‘I knew that, but I suppose I just couldn’t help but start to hope…’ She let out a frustrated noise. ‘Urgh. Link, you complete and utter buffoon. You socially awkward dunderhead. The next time I catch you, you’d better watch out.’

‘Huh,’ said Wind. ‘Speaking of which: I almost forgot, but we do get a penalty game out of this, now, don’t we?’

‘Technically. Though I suppose it won’t matter, if none of us ever see him again,’ Zelda said pessimistically.

‘We will,’ Wind said confidently. ‘So, what do you reckon we should do?’ His eyes danced. ‘Make him eat something weird? Dye his hair green? Buy a maid outfit and make him wear it?’

‘He already has a maid outfit,’ Zelda complained. ‘He bought it for pranks, realised it looked good on him and then got a Great Fairy to turn it into magical armour so that he could wear it into battle. Try again.’

‘Well, then, what if we get Hyrule to cook for him?’ Wind suggested. ‘Gross monster stew vs gross monster stew: whose do you think is worse?’

‘For the last time, none of the stews I’ve cooked for you had monster meat in them,’ Hyrule said exasperatedly.

‘So, you’ve cooked monster meat, just not for us?’

Hyrule didn’t reply.

‘It’s pointless using unpleasant food as a penalty game for Link,’ Zelda lamented. ‘He’ll eat literally anything. Rocks, metal, wood, monster meat… at this point, I’m not even convinced he has a sense of taste.’

‘Of course I have a sense of taste,’ the Link in question replied, sounding deeply affronted. ‘For example? This soup. It needs salt.’

Wind turned immediately, eyes lighting up in fury. ‘Salt goes in at the end, dumbass!’ he retorted.

‘Oh, so you were planning on overcooking it even further?’ Link commented. ‘In that case, be my guest, but I do wonder what those poor carrots did to deserve this treatment. Look at them; they’re practically mush already.’

‘L-Link?’ Zelda sputtered.

All eyes turned to the suddenly visible teen crouched between Wind and Time. Link reached out and poked Zelda and Red in the shoulders. ‘Tag, and tag,’ he announced. ‘Hello, by the way.’

‘Hi,’ Wind said casually.

‘Hello,’ Time offered.

‘Took your time,’ Legend grumbled.

‘Guess I did,’ Link agreed. ‘Let me guess: Zelda said something about how there was no way I had the patience for this sort of prank? She’s not wrong. Honestly, I kind of got distracted by mushrooms and monster fights along the way and almost got lost twice. But I’m here before sunset, and that’s what counts, right? So, no. No penalty games for you, I don’t think.’

For a long moment, no one else spoke. Link reached for the ladle and gave the soup a careful stir and a dubious glance. Wind smacked his hand away with a scowl.

‘Link,’ Zelda said at last.

‘Yes, Your Most Honourable and Holy Highness?’ Link responded.

‘Get over here,’ she requested. ‘Now.’

Link replaced the ladle, rose, stretched and obediently walked over to sit cross-legged in front of her. He gave a cheerful smile. ‘Yes?’

She took a deep breath. ‘Link,’ she repeated calmly. ‘You absolute, complete and utter piece of sh– you catastrophic, irredeemable, unsalvageable sack of shhh–’

‘Ye-e-e-e-s?’ Link prompted.

‘– You blundering, smug, immature, smarmy pile of shhhh–’

Link nodded encouragingly. ‘You can do it, Princess, I believe in you.’

‘FUCK YOU!’ Zelda screamed as she tackled her best friend and greatest nemesis to the ground.

Chapter Text

Across the long history of Hyrule, there had been many types of princesses, Twilight reflected.

The Zelda of his own world was the very definition of royal poise, remaining calm even in the direst of circumstances. Twilight wasn’t necessarily sure that he liked her, but he certainly respected her. Contrasting with her air of dignified solitude was the Zelda of Warriors’s world, a charismatic leader whose wisdom was supported by a host of formidable allies. Contrasting with those formidable allies were the goddess-damned pirate crew of Wind’s Princess Zelda. Contrasting with all three aforementioned princesses was this world’s Princess Zelda, a prim and proper young(?) lady who had, in the preceding few seconds, opted to pin this world’s Link to the ground.

‘YOU. ARE SO. OBNOXIOUS!’ the princess screamed directly into her champion’s face.

Twilight nudged Warriors. ‘Should we, uh, should we intervene in this, do you think?’ he asked hesitantly.

‘Let’s let them sort it out,’ Warriors suggested wisely. Twilight nodded and tried not to feel too relieved.

‘So obnoxious!’ Zelda repeated fiercely. ‘And I know this by now – of course I know this – and yet, somehow, every time it comes up, I’m still surprised, because every time that I come to believe that I’ve reached the lowest level of your obnoxiousness, you promptly commence construction work on a gosh darned basement.’

‘More like a wine cellar,’ a muffled voice from beneath Zelda replied. ‘Or a cheese cave. I like to put the obnoxiousness there to mature.’

Zelda shoved her target further into the ground and shrieked, ‘NOTHING ABOUT YOU IS MATURE, YOU SUPERCENTENARIAN DINGBAT!’

Link let out a short, sharp choking noise. ‘“S-supercentenarian dingbat”?’ he sputtered incredulously. ‘D-damn, that’s good. I’m gonna have to get that one fixed up in fancy embroidery so I can hang it on my wall. No, wait, what if I get it sewn onto my tunic? Holy shit, Your Highness.’

‘Oh, yes, laugh it off, why don’t you,’ Zelda hissed. ‘Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been?! You disappear for weeks, leaving nothing but a shifty little farewell note in the kitchen –’

‘“Shitty”, Your Highness. It was a shitty little farewell note. Don’t revert back to your old ways now.’

‘– Then the moment I finally track you down, you jump off a cliff and fly towards the horizon, only to reappear out of nowhere to complain about unsalted soup and soggy carrots.’

‘The carrots are meant to be soft,’ Wind grumbled. ‘It’s soup.’

‘There was a gosh danged Blood Moon the other night, you bumbling fool of a hero,’ Zelda snarled. ‘Do you not think I might have been a little concerned by your continued absence?!’

‘Ah, well, see I actually do have an explanation for that one. You see –’

‘It was a rhetorical question!’ Zelda shouted back.

‘Sure,’ Link said agreeably, ‘and here’s my rhetorical answer.’ He unclipped his Sheikah Slate and held it out for inspection. ‘Whoops, I broke it.’

Zelda’s rage dissolved into horror. ‘How?!’ she gasped. ‘There’s a crack in the casing – how did you even manage to do that? That is a priceless relic dating back to the golden age of technology and it’s designed to be all but unbreakable!’

‘All but,’ Link pointed out.

‘How?!’ Zelda wailed.

‘See?’ Warriors told Twilight. ‘All under control.’

Twilight surveyed the scene: Link patiently described the events of the Blood Moon night from his perspective while Zelda continued to poke disbelievingly at the device, barely seeming to pay attention to his words. Somewhere in between explanations and faux expletives, Link managed to carefully scoot the distracted princess off his chest and rise to a seated position next to her.

‘I guess,’ Twilight concluded.

‘So, anyway. Is it fixable, do you think?’ Link asked.

‘You had better hope it is,’ Zelda warned, but there was little real heat in her tone. She passed the slate back. ‘Grab whatever you need from the inventory, just in case. I’ll see what I can do.’

‘Thanks. I owe you one.’

‘I’ll add it to the tally,’ Zelda informed him. Her expression softened. ‘Better the slate than your ribs, I suppose.’

‘Oh, no I kind of busted those a bit too, but it’s fine; they were definitely fixable,’ Link replied offhandedly, before adding a thoughtful, ‘Are, that is.’

‘What the fruitcake, Link.’

‘Actually, the correct pronunciation is –’ Link began. He glanced at Zelda and seemed to change his mind. ‘Well, I’ll leave you to it, then,’ he concluded instead, patting her shoulder and ignoring the resulting glare. Link’s eyes then strayed around the campsite, taking note of each curious onlooker. He winced and gave a sheepish wave, which Twilight chuckled and returned.

‘Sorry about that,’ said Link. ‘So, uh, you all mind if I invite myself for dinner?’

His confident tone cracked slightly, and his expression was heartbreakingly unsure. Twilight forced a smile onto his face as he shifted and patted the ground next to him. ‘Over here,’ he invited.

‘Yeah, don’t worry; I made plenty for everyone,’ Wind called. ‘I put salt in it and everything. Just the way you like it. Arsehole.’

Twilight winced, but Link seemed to perk up slightly. ‘Wow, salt! My favourite!’ he proclaimed.

‘Yeah, it goes great with monster stew, I hear,’ Wind said brightly. ‘Now sit the fuck down.’

Link sat the fuck down, which was to say that he crouched shyly in the space Twilight had indicated, offered a hesitant glance at those closest, and shifted into a tight, awkward cross-legged position.

Twilight bit back a chuckle. Up close, Link’s hair was a tangle of dirt and forest debris, falling chaotically out of what might have once been a very neat braid. Twilight smirked as he plucked a large leaf out of the mess. Warriors gave a groan of complaint and shifted closer, muttering, ‘I only just fixed that.’

‘Oh. Uh, sorry,’ Link said sheepishly.

Warriors shook his head. ‘How did you even get back here so quickly?’

‘Mm?’ Link hummed inquisitively. ‘Oh, that. Hasty elixirs, climbing gear, shield surfing, bombs, pyrotechnics, Legend’s Pegasus B– oh! That reminds me!’

Link started removing his boots, allowing Warriors and Twilight a moment to confirm, via shared horrified glance, that they had not in fact imagined use of the words “bombs” and “pyrotechnics”.

‘Hey, Legend!’ Link called out, and tossed each boot in turn towards their owner, who caught them and lobbed his own pair of shoes back in response. ‘Thanks!’

Warriors blinked. ‘That is… incredibly unsanitary,’ he stated.

‘Is it?’ Link asked.

Legend tilted his head thoughtfully. ‘Probably, I guess. But, I mean, the old guy who gave me these things said they were a family heirloom, so really, your sweaty feet are the least of my concerns.’

Warriors grimaced.

‘Huh. I found mine outside in a box guarded by monsters,’ Link mused. ‘Got these pants from the same box. Didn’t question it. Probably should’ve.’

‘Right then,’ Warriors said faintly.

Twilight’s mind stole idly back to the iron boots he’d inherited from the mayor of Ordon – but no, it was probably best not to think too hard about it… he opened his mouth to change the subject, and –

‘What was that about pyrotechnics?’ Wind asked.

On second thought, perhaps they should continue to discuss the topic of intergenerational foot sweat for just a little while longer.

Link grinned dangerously. ‘Oh, if you like bomb impact launches, you’re going to love this one. See, what I’ve figured out is that –’

‘Link,’ said Time. ‘Wind is twelve years old. Please do not teach him to set fire to things.’

‘Link,’ said Wind. ‘Wind is twelve years old. Please teach him to set fire to things. C’mon, it’ll be hilarious; no one suspects the kid.’

‘Hmm… yeah, that’d be pretty irresponsible of me, wouldn’t it?’ Link said regretfully. ‘Gotta show some maturity in my old age. New wine cellar and all.’ He shrugged, fiddling with his hands in a way that was almost casual enough to be mistaken for something other than the Hylian sign for “later”.

Twilight sighed. Time muttered something indistinct about “Din’s fire” and “paying for my sins”. Warriors silently confiscated the fire striker and flint that had been abandoned near the cookpot.

‘Dinner’s served,’ Wind said cheerily.

Things were going surprisingly well, Link thought to himself. Sure, he was still shaking a little bit, but no one seemed to have noticed that part, or, at the very least, they were polite enough to ignore it. The soup wasn’t particularly terrible either, even if the carrots were soggy and even if the definitely-not-nerves-related nausea made eating a little difficult. There was some sort of conversation going on nearby – or a few, rather – but it didn’t seem to matter much that Link was only half paying attention.

Zelda had taken up the spot next to him, largely ignoring her dinner in favour of fiddling with the broken Sheikah Slate. Link poked her every now and then as a reminder to eat. Every now and then, she poked back.

‘You ok?’ she murmured to him at one point.

Of course he was ok. He was completely fine. ‘Yes, Your Highness,’ he replied. ‘But please remember that food is to be eaten, not admired.’

‘Right you are,’ she agreed, ‘and how strange it is to see my honoured knight lose his appetite. Is it an omen, perhaps? Shall we let the Gorons know to expect snow in Death Mountain?’

Link glanced down with surprise at the carrots he’d been absentmindedly mashing with his spoon. Huh. ‘I’ll let you break the news to them, Your Most Hallowed and Revered Highness,’ he offered. He took an unenthusiastic mouthful of vegetables and grimaced. Yep, they were still soggy, now also mushy, and tasted like anxiety. Weird. Well, not like he hadn’t eaten worse.

About ten minutes later, Zelda poked him again. Are you going to talk to them, or not? she queried in sharp, irritable Hylian sign.

Not during dinner, he shot back in turn.

She rolled her eyes, clearly not understanding the sanctity of mealtime. And sure, perhaps he was eating a little slower than usual, and sure, maybe he had technically finished eating already and was just poking the few remaining drops of liquid around in his empty bowl, but –

Another poke neatly severed his train of thought. Alright, that does it, Zelda stated. What do you need? An introduction? A segue? A diversion? A hug?

‘I don’t need anything,’ he replied, irritation making his voice louder than intended.

‘Fine. Then what do you want?’ she asked instead. ‘If you want me to shut up, then fine: tell it to my face. If you want help, then ask for help. Don’t just sit there quietly panicking.’

‘I am not panicking, Your Highness,’ Link hissed back. Resolutely, he turned away, opting to look in any other direction than hers. Unfortunately, each of those other directions seemed to involve a collision course with another gaze, seeing as how, also unfortunately, he may have accidentally forgotten to tone down the volume of his retort.

Shit.

The breath caught in his throat. He swallowed hard and forced a smile onto his face. ‘Sorry. Didn’t mean to yell,’ he croaked.

‘Are you panicking?’ Legend called.

‘Nope,’ Link replied as forcefully as he could. And he wasn’t. He could do this. He’d done it before, plenty of times. Just shove all that fear into a convenient mental corner to deal with later, or better: never. Problem solved. ‘Since I’ve got your attention, though,’ he continued, ‘can I ask for an explanation of the whole travelling through time thing? Zelda’s letter mentioned you had information. That whatever you’ve come here to do might be connected with the reappearance of the Blood Moon.’ His voice was sounding much steadier already – excellent. ‘I’m happy to share information of my own in return: I’ve been travelling for some time, so I know these lands well.’

Zelda poked him again. Hard. ‘What?’ he demanded.

‘Introduce yourself first,’ she hissed at him. ‘Not every conversation has to be a business transaction.’

‘They already know who I am,’ he pointed out. ‘I know their names too. See: that one’s Legend, that one’s Hyrule, there’s Twilight –’

Zelda buried her face in her hands. ‘What do I even do with this fool?’ she moaned.

‘Wow,’ said Link. ‘Rude.’

Time laughed. ‘Guess we’ll save some time on introductions, then,’ he said agreeably. ‘To answer your question: while we don’t necessarily know about the Blood Moon, it’s reasonable to conclude that it’s related to our task. You see, this isn’t the only era which has shown signs of the early return of Ganon.’

Link tensed, eyes snapping to Zelda. ‘I thought you said that Ganon was gone.’

‘It is,’ she agreed miserably, lifting her head out of her hands for a brief moment. ‘What Time means is that the appearance of the Blood Moon and a growth in monster activity are both signs that would normally be attributed to the return of the Calamity. But that isn’t the case here.’

Twilight spoke up. ‘It’s not just this era either. In my time, it’s meant the return of monsters from the Twilight Realm, which… well… shouldn’t be possible.’ A trace of bitterness touched his expression. ‘The gateway between realms remains closed. The ruler of the Twili herself made sure of that.’

‘And all of our eras have seen an increase in monsters,’ Time added, ‘as well as more powerful variants of the existing ones, such as the black-blooded bokoblin you fought the other day.’ He paused, gazing at Link thoughtfully. ‘I’ll be honest: there’s still a lot we don’t know. We were surprised enough to end up in a new Hyrule after all this time. It’s been a while since Wind joined us.’

Link got the sense the statement was intended as a question, but as things stood, he had no particularly good answers. He shrugged. ‘So, Wind was the last to join, then?’

‘Was,’ Wind said cheerfully. ‘Don’t worry, new kid, I’ll show you around.’

Well, Link was just not going to acknowledge that one. ‘So, do you have any leads yet?’ he asked instead.

Time’s gaze flickered to Zelda. ‘I was hoping to ask the two of you. Normally, what we do is ask around for any rumours of particularly strong monsters, large numbers of monsters or strange sightings.’

‘Which doesn’t really narrow it down much,’ Zelda sighed. ‘I’ve been getting reports of unusual monster activity across the land, from Gerudo Desert and all the way to Death Mountain. I was, however, going to suggest heading east.’ She opened the map on her slate. ‘It’s not necessarily the area with the greatest threat – I’m yet to determine that – but Hateno Village and its surrounds are still the most vulnerable of our settlements, due to the layout, the lack of any fighting force and the close proximity to various monster settlements. Lurelin – see here? – has similar problems with defensibility, but it’s also quite far from the epicentre of the Calamity, which may be why they’ve never really had a particularly high monster presence. And, of course, this trade route over here is particularly vulnerable: it’s used by residents of Hateno, Lurelin, Kakariko and even Zora’s Domain.’ She sighed. ‘Link cleared out much of the region previously, almost single-handedly, but with the Blood Moon…’

Link remembered. He remembered several days of trying not to vomit from the memories that Blatchery Plain triggered. Sometimes failing. You couldn’t win them all.

Well, that was going to be fun to repeat.

He put that small matter to one side. ‘So basically, you just look for strong monsters, take them out and then skip on to another era? And that’s it?’ he concluded sceptically. ‘Is it the same monsters each time, or does the Blood Moon not exist elsewhere?’

The others exchanged glances. ‘Not to the best of my knowledge, no,’ Time replied. ‘Monsters constantly appear – more in some eras than in others – but there’s no sudden event where they all revive. Beat enough of them back, especially the more powerful ones, and the tide ebbs. For that reason, my era is one of the more peaceful ones.’

‘Before all this, things had been improving in my era, too,’ Twilight offered.

‘And mine… to an extent,’ Hyrule hedged. ‘The Queen has been recruiting, but it’s a big task.’

Sky nodded sadly. ‘Hard to say, in my era. There’s little danger to be found in the clouds, but the world below is vast and wild… this place reminds me of it, a little.’

Legend scoffed. ‘There were practically no monsters anywhere before my first quest, but by the time I got back from quest four, they were swarming. If you look at the world Hyrule inherited from me, you can probably guess how well I did with fixing that. But to answer your question – ouch, stop poking me, ’Rule – no, the Blood Moon isn’t something I’ve encountered. And it does change things.’

Link shrugged. ‘If the same strong monsters revive in the same location every month, we can plan around that. Just need to map it out. I used to have a route I’d take, the day after the Blood Moon: first, the hinox on Digdogg Suspension Bridge, next, the lynel on Ploymus Mountain, and depending on how much time that took and how many injuries I had, I’d then deal with the closest lizalfos camps to Lurelin Village. Didn’t use to take too long to get things more or less under control, though it depends on the sort of monsters we’re dealing with now.’ He looked down at his lap, fiddling with his hands and ignoring Twilight’s mutter of “so much for not antagonising the lynel”. Eventually, he added, ‘That said, well, I don’t want to suggest that there’s no point to it or anything, but –’

‘But there’ll be no end to it,’ Zelda agreed. ‘The Blood Moon will rise again, and the monsters will return. You can fight them again, but they’ll just revive. If you don’t discover the root cause, then it won’t end, and this land will never recover.’ Her brow creased, and she tapped a finger thoughtfully against the side of her face. ‘The Blood Moon is familiar, but the black blood is new, and it seems like that’s the unifying factor behind all this. Perhaps there’s a clue to be found there. I wouldn’t mind a sample to run analysis on, if you can wrangle it.’

Time’s eye widened with surprise. ‘You can do that?’

‘I can try,’ Zelda equivocated. ‘If it’s magical in nature I can’t do much, but if it’s artificial or if Ganon’s essence is merged with it somehow…’

Link grinned as a thought struck. ‘Maybe we should ask Kilton to run some analysis too.’

Zelda made a face. ‘Link, Kilton is a maniac.’

‘A maniac with a surprising knack for science. He reminds me of a certain someone.’

‘Purah?’ Zelda suggested innocently. ‘Or Robbie, perhaps? We should ask them too. Oh, and it would be worth stopping by Kakariko to speak with Impa if you all do head east.’ She smiled sweetly.

Link swallowed. He turned to Time and asked, ‘Is that what your group plans to do?’

‘I don’t see why not,’ Time replied. ‘Would you like to join us?’

‘Well, I mean, if you’re offering?’ Link said. ‘Sure.’

A beat.

‘What?’ said Zelda.

‘But I’m doing the cooking,’ Link added quickly.

Twilight paled. ‘Uh… not that your stew from earlier wasn’t… well…’

‘The most delicious thing you’ve ever tasted?’ Link said innocently.

‘Yeah, what are you on about, Twilight?’ Legend asked with malicious cheer. ‘Link is a wonderful chef. I thought you loved his cooking. Isn’t that why you ate so much of it?’

‘Hold on, hold on: WHAT?’ Zelda squawked. ‘What do you mean “sure”? You mean, it was that easy all along?!’

‘Yeah, I guess,’ said Link.

Zelda gaped at him. ‘You little –’

Link burst out laughing. ‘Kidding. I’m kidding, Zelda. I mean, I’m kidding, Your Great and Majestic –’

‘Which part are you kidding about?!’ she demanded. ‘Darn it, Link, if you prank me again at this late stage, then I swear to Hylia –’

‘I was kidding about the being that easy part,’ he qualified. He smiled, letting his eyes move from face to face. ‘Yeah. I mean, I’m sure Zelda already explained this part, or maybe you figured it out for yourselves, but I’m a flighty, obnoxious little shit. If my slate wasn’t broken, I’d’ve been long gone by now. If Zelda hadn’t come here I’d’ve been long gone by now. If, uh… well, you get the idea: it’s kind of a miracle that I’m sitting here right now. And, well, I’ll be honest: I still don’t really know if I’ll be much use, but if you’re willing to put up with me while I figure that piece out, then I’ll, uh, do what I can. Just, umm…’ He shrugged awkwardly. ‘The, uh, the truth is, I was thinking earlier about what it meant to be a h-hero of courage. And, uh, there’s a lot of ways that that r-really doesn’t apply to me, and you’ll s-see some of them as we travel – uh, s-sorry about the stuttering, my voice, just kinda d-does that sometimes – b-but you know, what I figured is that even if I don’t really have the right to be here, then suppose I wanted to have that right, suppose I wanted to be a hero of courage like you, then I figure the f-first thing I would have to do is, uh, sh-show some courage. So, uh, th-that’s why I’m here.’

He paused for some sort of reaction. That reaction turned out to be dead silence, which probably wasn’t a good sign. He winced. ‘N-no good? Uh… s-sorry… I, uh –’

An arm looped around his shoulder and tugged him into a loose embrace. ‘Yes, good,’ Twilight informed him with an oddly smug grin (was that smugness? Expressions were difficult).

‘Well said,’ Time agreed.

‘This fucking kid’s gonna make me cry,’ Legend moaned.

‘You are crying, dumbass,’ Warriors informed him.

‘Shut it, pretty boy.’

‘Heh. Th-that bad, huh?’ Link asked.

Zelda thunked bodily into his other side, winding her arm around his waist. ‘Stop misinterpreting things. Do I need to call Formation P on you?’

‘That’s not a bad idea,’ Twilight mused.

Link scowled. ‘I already s-said I’d stick around. Mock me all you want.’

‘Oh, for the love of goldfish,’ Zelda sighed. ‘Link: I am proud of you. Say whatever you want about how you don’t feel like a hero; you’ve always been mine. I care about you, I want you to be safe and happy, and I’m so incredibly proud to call you my friend.’

His throat tightened. ‘Y-you are?’ he asked. ‘I mean, a-am I really?’

She frowned. ‘Are you really my hero? I mean, obviously. I don’t know how many times I need to say that for it to –’

‘No!’ Link rudely interrupted. ‘Sorry, uh, n-not that… the, umm, the other thing. I m-mean, I’m not opposed, but do you really want to be f-friends with someone so ob-obnoxious?’

Zelda stilled. ‘What?’

‘I mean, you uh, you don’t h-have to, you know. You don’t have to f-feel like you owe me anything, just because –’

‘Link, we literally live together.’

Why was she bringing this up now? ‘Do you… do you want me to move out? I can if you w–’

‘Link, we share a wardrobe.’

‘Should I stop borrowing your clothes? S-sorry, I didn’t realise it was upsetting you… I –’

‘Link, we read the same books, we go to restaurants and watch performances together, I let you call me “Your Highness” even though I correct anyone else, we have at least ten other silly nicknames for each other, we play pranks on each other – well, it’s mostly you pranking me, but you get the idea – we make each other flower crowns, you care for me when I’m sick, I try my gosh darned best to protect you from your own foolishness, like forcing you not to teleport away with injuries, and, once again, we live together –’

‘Yes, fine, what’s your point?’ Link demanded. ‘I already said I’ll move out if you want me to. If it’s that much of a problem, I can get the deed t-transferred to your name?’

‘Holy shit,’ Wind remarked.

‘How are you this clueless?’ Zelda wailed.

‘What?’ Link asked cluelessly.

‘That does it,’ Zelda growled. ‘Formation PA.’

‘What?’ Link asked again, prior to being tackled, not for the first time that day, by several people at once – this time with added aggression.

‘Guys, you can’t just – c’mon, let the poor kid breathe,’ Twilight’s voice begged.

‘Don’t be a stick in the mud, Twi,’ Sky replied calmly.

Twilight sputtered. ‘I – what?!’

‘Yeah, Twi, don’t be a stick in the mud,’ Wind agreed.

The small viewing space above Link’s head was swiftly eaten up by Zelda’s face, looming over him. ‘Alright everyone,’ she snarled, ‘it seems I’m going to have to lay down a few important ground rules, so listen closely.’

‘Huh?’ said Link.

‘Rule one: Link is my precious, beloved friend who means the world to me, and if any of you dare to hurt him, Calamity Ganon will look like a piglet compared to what you will face from me.’

Link’s eyes stung. ‘Z-Zelda –’

‘Rule two,’ she snapped, ‘Link is a colossal moron who treats deadly wounds like mosquito bites, disappears into the wilderness to avoid discussing his emotions, and thinks explosives and incendiaries are a suitable alternative to riding and climbing –’

‘I mean, they sort of are, but –’

‘– Therefore, it will sometimes be appropriate to grab him by the shoulders and shake him thoroughly or to pin him to the ground for his own good. Rule two takes precedence over rule one, within reason. Where possible, do try to discuss with him first.’

Link chuckled, trying to ignore the way his eyes were welling up. ‘C-c’mon, Zelda, you can’t just –’

‘Rule three,’ she said defiantly, ‘none of the destruction that occurred one hundred years ago is Link’s fault, no matter what he thinks or what he tells you, and don’t you ever blame him for it or let anyone else blame him for it.

‘I’m the one who couldn’t awaken my powers in time. Me. Link fought his hardest and suffered more than he ever deserved, and he still came out of it as the kind, selfless, brave, incredible person who steals my clothes, cooks my breakfast, dries my tears and acts like the best friend I’ve ever had up until the point where he gets bizarrely confused at my daring to actually use the dang word. So, there: those are my ground rules, and I expect them to be obeyed. Am I understood?!’

‘Perfectly,’ said Time.

‘Good. Link, am I understood?!’ Zelda demanded.

He nodded, and replied in a small voice, ‘I, umm, I think so?’

‘Fantabulous!’ she shouted. ‘Good to know! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to stop by my workshop in Hateno if I’m going to have any chance of fixing this nigh-indestructible ancient relic that my catastrophic fool of a best friend somehow, inexplicably, managed to break. Link, I’ll see you in about an hour.’

‘Wait, what?’

She teleported away.

‘What the fuck?!’ Link shouted. ‘Zelda, you can’t just – what the actual fuck?!’

Time had the gall to start laughing. Wind quickly followed, and several others joined in.

‘I just… what the…?’ Link sputtered. ‘Is she allowed to do that?’

A familiar handkerchief dabbed gently at his eyes. ‘Emotions, huh?’ Legend said philosophically. ‘They’re the worst.’

Link couldn’t agree more.

Chapter Text

True to her word, Zelda reappeared an hour later, by which time the conversation had relaxed into the familiar territory of Wind enthusiastically exaggerating his various oceanic adventures, now with a fresh new audience that took an admittedly daunting interest in the subject of nautical siege weaponry. Twilight sat to the side, intermittently sharpening his hunting knife and chiming in with comments of his own (would he regret promising to introduce Link to the cannon expert of his world if they ever stopped nearby? Almost certainly, though the way Link’s face lit up almost made it seem worthwhile).

‘I’m back,’ Zelda announced as she strode into their midst.

Link’s head swung in her direction. ‘Zelda!’ he exclaimed. ‘You’re ok.’

‘Of course I’m ok,’ she scoffed. She held out his Sheikah Slate. ‘I fixed it for you. Even added a communication rune so you can tell me next time you somehow manage to get stranded on the Great Plateau with no way to teleport home. What’s that? I’m brilliant? Yes, I know.’

He scowled. ‘Yes, you are brilliant, Your Highness, but it’s dark out. There are stal monsters all over the place. And what were you planning to do if you ran into a Yiga?’

‘Throw bananas at them and run?’ Zelda suggested. Link pouted unhappily, but didn’t seem to have much of an argument to that, which Twilight found rather odd considering how the suggestion was utterly nonsensical. But, wait a second –

‘Hey, Link, isn’t that what you did to Twi the other day?’ Wind asked on his behalf.

‘Oh, yeah, forgot about that,’ Link replied. ‘Sorry, Twilight. The Yiga clan have been after me and Zelda for ages. They’ve been quiet recently, which made me think they might be planning something – then you all turned up out of nowhere and I didn’t really know what to make of it. So when I saw you that one time, I kind of panicked thinking you might be an assassin.’

Twilight thought back to that particular moment, wincing slightly at the reminder that Link had already learned his secret. They really needed to discuss that at some point, even if Link was, as yet at least, being astonishingly casual about the whole use-of-dark-magic-to-transform-into-a-wolf thing.

It could wait. Twilight pursed his lips, thinking back over Link’s words. ‘So you threw bananas at me because you thought I was an assassin?’ he asked. It clicked. ‘Wait – you thought I was an assassin and therefore you threw bananas at me?!’

The exclamation was loud enough to draw Legend’s attention, and he threw Twilight a shrug and a brief, sympathetic glance before turning resolutely back to Hyrule.

What the fuck.

‘Yeah, I don’t know why either, but the Yiga all go bananas for bananas,’ Link explained, chuckling at the rather terrible joke made, seemingly, at the expense of a clan of assassins.

‘What the actual f–’ Twilight began, quickly cutting himself off at the sight of the disappointed Dad face Time was making in his peripherals (how did he always know?). He forced himself to calm down. ‘Alright, so how many assassins are we talking? And how much of a threat are they?’

Link shrugged. ‘They’re all over Hyrule. I’ve fought scores of them, plus their former leader – not sure if they ever replaced him. They’re not exactly weaklings, but at this point I’m more or less used to how they fight, so they’re not a massive threat from that perspective. Sometimes they still catch me off guard, especially if there’s a large number of them, and they do have a few nasty tricks. They can teleport, for one, and they’re very good at disguising themselves – though the banana thing tends to give them away if you know to check.’

‘You’ve been throwing bananas at scores of assassins,’ Twilight concluded faintly.

‘If it works, it works,’ Link insisted.

‘There’s no way that works!’ Twilight retorted.

Link shrugged. ‘And yet, it does.’

‘Exactly,’ said Zelda, plopping down beside him. ‘So there’s really nothing to worry about, is there?’

‘There’s no way it would work!’ Twilight repeated. Both Link and Zelda ignored the interjection.

‘Fine,’ Link snapped. ‘Far be it from me to tell Her Most Potent and Terrifying Highness what she can and can’t do, though I’d appreciate if she would exercise at least a little caution. Yes, you’re very clever, but – with all due respect, Your Majesty – you’re also complete shit with any kind of weapon other than your sealing power, which is fading, as you admitted yourself. Excuse me for worrying about all the trouble you might run into while travelling solo at this hour.’

‘You’re excused,’ Zelda replied graciously. ‘After all, worrying about each other is simply what friends do. And since we’re such good friends, it’s only natural that you would be worried.’

Link’s face went red. ‘I – that is – well, uh, I m-mean –’

‘I’m glad we had this conversation,’ Zelda said cheerily. ‘Now take your blasted slate already, my dearest Champion and beloved hero.’

Thoroughly cowed by the unexpected expression of affection, Link took his blasted slate and silently clipped it back into place on his belt. Twilight chuckled and ruffled his hair, deciding to let the banana-throwing matter go for the moment.

(And only for the moment.)

‘Link does have a point,’ a new voice chimed in. Twilight looked up to see Red approaching from the standoffish little corner that the colours had been inhabiting for the past hour or so. They took a seat nearby, eyes down and hands fiddling with their gloves.

‘Night time can be quite dangerous, even for seasoned explorers like us,’ they continued slowly. ‘After all, night is when the most dangerous creatures come out to play. Wouldn’t you agree, Link?’

Link tilted his head thoughtfully. ‘I mean, to be fair, not really, at least for veteran heroes like you and your friends. Yiga aside, stalkoblins aren’t too bad. Just need to aim for the skull. If anything, night time is safer, or at least a better time to strike, since that’s when most monsters are asl–’

‘But the most dangerous of creatures aren’t always obvious, are there?’ Red continued firmly. ‘Little, inconsequential threats, easily mistaken for something more benign.’

‘Like treasure octoroks? Yeah, those are a pain,’ Link replied.

Red’s half-closed eyes twitched. ‘No, not like – what even is–? No, that’s not what I’m talking about.’

‘A luminous stone talus?’ Link suggested. ‘They just look like gem deposits. Sometimes I can’t even tell that they’re taluses until they start moving.’

‘No, not like a fucking talus, you little –’

‘A molduga then?’ Link tried. ‘Though I don’t think those are particularly active at night? I’m not sure. I think I’ve only ever encountered them during the day, but I could be wrong.’

Red shot him an incredulous look. ‘The fuck is a –? No, forget it. Don’t answer that. I mean –’

‘An armos?’ a casually eavesdropping Time suggested helpfully.

‘Wha– stay out of this, old man!’ Red yelped.

‘Armos, huh? Fucking hate those things,’ Legend contributed.

‘Oh, for crying out – no, you dickheads, I’m not talking about a fucking armos, I –’ Red paused to collect themself. ‘No, actually, you know what? Fine. Yes. Exactly like an armos. See, you think it’s just a harmless little statue, and then: boom. Ambushed by an enemy you didn’t expect. An enemy that was right in your face all along. That’s the situation I’m describing here.’

Hyrule frowned. ‘Is that the situation? That is… I mean, if you go around poking suspicious statues in suspicious places, there’s always a bit of a risk that… well, not to say it isn’t startling when it happens, but –’

‘Say, new Link,’ Red pressed on sweetly, ‘I have a question for you.’

‘Shoot,’ he offered. The others quietened down, listening curiously.

‘Have you considered, perhaps, that one of your new companions may not be who they appear?’

Twilight looked at Red, eyes widening with alarm. ‘Uh… what?’

‘Shh,’ said Red. ‘Let him answer.’

‘Well, if you say so, but you have to admit, that was a bit of an ominous –’

‘No, it’s fine,’ Link interrupted. ‘I think I know where this is going.’ He paused to consider the question, staring contemplatively into space, and then began, ‘Before I answer, though… what is an armos, anyway?’

Red’s expression twitched. ‘You know what? Fuck. This. Shit. That’s enough. I’ve had it.’ They lifted their head, amethyst eyes glinting dangerously as, with a single violent motion, they pulled the glove from their right hand, flicked a single painted nail upwards and shoved it right into Link’s face. ‘How’s this for a plot twist, dickhead?!’ Red(?) snarled. ‘You just fell right into my fucking trap!’

‘Your nails do look very nice,’ Link complimented. ‘Though, to be honest, I’m not sure why the gloves part was necessary, was that some kind of reference to an event I wasn’t –?’

‘It means I’m Vio, you dense little shit,’ the imposter yelled.

‘Oh,’ said Link. ‘Whoops.’

‘“Whoops”?! Yeah, whoops indeed, you dumb fuck,’ Vio retorted. ‘Shove your low-energy bullshitting where the sun doesn’t shine. Which is to say right here, right now, because time’s up, the deadline’s passed, and you lose.’

‘Ah. So, I should keep up the low-energy bullshitting?’ Link queried.

‘Please do,’ Blue called. ‘She’s loving it, I can tell.’ Thoughtfully, he added, ‘Bitch.’

‘Fuck you too, Blue,’ Vio shot back.

‘H-hey, c’mon, don’t fight,’ the Four dressed in Vio’s tunic called out meekly.

‘Yeah, stop picking on yourself,’ Link suggested in his best low-energy tone.

‘Yeah, yeah, laugh it off. You still don’t get it, huh?’ Vio sneered. ‘Well, let me lay it out for you, dickhead: Red and I switched clothes hours ago, well before you got your sorry arse back here. I was the one who came back with Flora, Red was here long before then, pretending to be me. You never tagged Red, you just tagged me twice, and now the sun has set, our game is over and you lose, you fucking moron. Time to pay the price. Hope you’re ready to face the fucking music, because this time it’ll be you eating my gross-arse cooking.’

‘Oh,’ said Zelda. She grimaced. ‘Vio, look, as far as penalty games go, well –’

Vio flung a dirty (slightly singed?) bag at Link with a malicious grin. ‘Hope you left room for dessert, you shit for brains loser.’

With an expression of mild curiosity, Link opened the bag. ‘Well, that’s a roasted cricket,’ he remarked, holding it out for inspection. He opened the bag a little wider, and added, ‘Wow, that’s a lot of roasted crickets. Did you set fire to all the crickets I threw at you? And then gather them up, one by one? That’s dedication. I respect that.’

‘I’m glad you respect my dedication,’ Vio spat. ‘What? Did you think you could just “give me hell” with no repercussions? If you wanna play with fire, then you better be able to take the heat. In your own words: there’s no such thing as a free penalty game.’

‘No,’ Link stated thoughtfully. ‘There isn’t.’

Vio got to her feet, thus (barely) managing to leer down at the taller hero. ‘Well, merciful as I am, I may be willing to let you off the hook if you get down on your knees and beg for forgi–’

Crunch.

Without breaking eye contact, Link chewed and swallowed the roasted cricket.

Vio blinked. ‘W-well,’ she said, with a nervous laugh. ‘That was… I mean, I wasn’t really expecting… A-as expected of a hero of courage, I supp–’

Crunch.

‘Not bad,’ Link commented as he reached for a third insect. ‘I mean, it does taste a little like chuchu jelly. Is that what you used to cook them?’

‘Err… that is…’ Vio fumbled for words. ‘Umm… well, I think you’ve learned your lesson, so, umm –’

Crunch.

‘Y-you can… you can stop now, ok? Crickets are one thing, but if there’s chuchu jelly left on there… look, I, umm, I don’t want you to get sick just because –’

Crunch.

‘Alright, alright! I get the point, ok?!’ Vio cried out. ‘You can stop. And stop staring at me like that, it’s creeping me out, you weirdo! Look, we’re all very impressed by your courage, your willpower, your lack of tastebuds and your… your whatever, but seriously –!’

Crunch.

‘Flora, please, make him stop,’ Vio begged.

Zelda shook her head regretfully. ‘Nothing can stop him now. I did try to warn you.’

Crunch.

‘Hey, Red,’ Link called out after swallowing the sixth cricket. ‘Could you do me a favour please? There should be a piece of paper under your pillow. Could you read it out for us?’

‘Hmm?’ Red responded curiously. They fumbled at their bedding while a pale Vio wrung her hands, watching Link fish out another cricket.

Crunch.

‘Oh! There is something here!’ Red realised. ‘But when could it have…?’

‘Just read it out aloud, please,’ Link sang.

‘W-well, alright then.’ Red cleared their throat. ‘“If you’re reading this, Red, I already tagged you and Vio is a fu…” oh, dear me, it’s rather rude…’

Blue snagged the piece of paper. ‘“Vio is a fucking moron”,’ he read obligingly, snickering as Red cringed beside him.

Green leaned over his shoulder. ‘Oh, hey, it keeps going… wow. “Dearest Vio. Did you seriously think you could defeat me? Foolish wench. You rejoice at plotting a mere three moves ahead, and yet I have already developed strategies for the next three tournaments. How bold of a mere frog in a well to challenge a dragon. You’re a hundred years too early to face me.” Huh, this is obnoxious.’

‘Right?’ Link agreed cheerfully. ‘I think it’s my best work yet.’

‘Th-this doesn’t mean anything!’ Vio sputtered. ‘You can’t just retrospectively tag someone via written note. It doesn’t count. Even if you did write that note and put it there yourself, where’s the proof you did it before the deadline?!’

‘There’s plenty of proof,’ Link informed her. ‘First off: I’ve been sitting here for the past hour, so there’s no way I could have done it after sunset. Right Wind? Right Twilight?’

Both of them jolted slightly at being suddenly pulled into the conversation. ‘Right,’ said Twilight.

‘Yeah, he’s been here this whole time,’ Wind confirmed.

‘That doesn’t prove anything!’ Vio protested. ‘No – if anything, doesn’t it prove that he couldn’t possibly have put that note there himself? I mean, when would he have even done it? We’ve been watching this whole time, and if that was under Red’s pillow, then Red would’ve been lying on it when he arrived, and –’

‘Hold on, didn’t Red wake up briefly, just a little before Vio and Zelda got back here?’ Green interrupted.

Red nodded. ‘Yeah, I thought someone nudged me, but both Green and Blue denied it, and there was no one else nea– oh. He would still have had Time’s mask back then, right? In which case…’

‘B-but that makes no sense!’ Vio raged. ‘I wasn’t even there, there was nothing for him to eavesdrop on, and there’s no way he could’ve spotted Red and me switching clothes! How would he have even known we’d switched places?! Unless –’ her gaze swung abruptly to Legend and she gave a wounded gasp. ‘You fucking traitor.’

He shrugged. ‘To be fair, you did threaten me at sword point.’

‘As a joke,’ Vio snarled.

‘Wait, what? You threatened Legend?’ Hyrule demanded. ‘When was this?!’

Legend chuckled and patted him on the back. ‘Hey, it’s fine, I knew she was only partially serious.’

‘“Partially”?!’

‘See, this is why Four tried to warn everyone about her,’ Green explained. ‘I might be a reckless dumbass and Blue might be an arsehole, but as history shows: if anyone’s gonna turn against you it’ll definitely be Vio.’

‘History my arse: it was one fucking time and it was a cunning ploy,’ Vio snarled.

‘Well then, this time makes two,’ Green informed her. ‘Which is two more than the rest of us. ’Cept maybe Blue, if we’re counting the whole paying-Link-to-give-her-hell thing.’

‘Which we’re not,’ Blue said decisively.

‘I sure as hell am!’ Vio snapped.

‘Ok, but how serious is partially serious?’ Hyrule demanded.

‘Hmm?’ said Legend. ‘Maybe about ten to twenty percent? Correct me if I’m wrong, Vi. Also, can I have my Magic Cape back now?’

Red perked up, fumbling at their blankets for the swathe of bright red fabric hidden beneath. ‘Sure! Let me just –’

‘Fuck no, he can’t, don’t give it to him, Red!’ Vio retorted. ‘Damn it, Lege, I told you loud and clear that if you dared to breathe even a word of this to the new Link –’

‘And I didn’t,’ Legend said with a shrug.

‘Huh?’ asked a flatfooted Vio.

‘Yeah. Think it through, Little Miss Turncoat, when exactly is it you think I spoke to him?’ Legend asked. ‘In fact, why don’t you tell everyone what happened? I’m sure they’re all confused as shit right now.’

Twilight nodded. ‘Yep.’

‘Yeah, I mean, I was going to just let this play out,’ Warriors added, ‘but what exactly the fuck is going on?’

‘I think we need a swear jar,’ Time noted in his patented Disappointed Dad Voice.

Ignoring that last comment, Vio gathered her thoughts and said, ‘Alright, fine. Back to the start, then. I was up on the Sheikah Tower, and this dickhead throws an army of crickets in my face –’

‘Ninety-nine crickets,’ Link chimed in.

‘So this dickhead throws exactly ninety-nine crickets in my face and backflips over the edge like some fucking acrobatic clown, I set fire to most of them, gather them up and start plotting my revenge. Sometime during this process, I look down from the tower to see Legend having a friendly sit-down with said dickhead, after which said dickhead runs off in the direction of Sky. I go and borrow Legend’s magical cape of invisibility –’

‘Stole,’ Legend interjected.

‘Do you even know what a fucking stole is? No. So, I go and politely borrow Legend’s cape, and it turns out this dumbass used up all his magic and can barely even move – he was like a fucking puppy, I almost felt bad – but luckily Sky comes over to help him get back to camp. I ask about the dickhead’s location, turns out he went towards the river, so I go invisible, find him, watch him make his way back to Wars’s location, then as soon as he’s properly distracted playing axe-tiggy –’

Zelda shot a glare at Link. ‘Do I want to know?’

‘Probably not,’ he confirmed.

‘– I tell Red to come and meet me, and we switch clothes. Then I go back to Flozza and, meanwhile, Red takes Legend’s cape, goes invisible, sneaks back to where the others are –’

‘Yeah, and they had to drain their magic to do it,’ Blue snarled. ‘Don’t think I’ve forgotten.’

‘I already told you, I’m fine!’ Red protested.

‘– And then Wars appears and announces that the dumbass I was trying to prank just jumped off a fucking cliff,’ Vio continued, ‘but I figure, you know what? Let’s wait and see if he shows up. And then he did! And my trap was perfect, and I still don’t know how the fuck it failed, because fine, Lege, you’re off the hook, there’s no way you could’ve told him.’

‘Oh, good,’ said Legend as he accepted the return of his magical item. ‘I did tell Wind though.’

‘WHAT?!’ Vio shrieked.

‘Yeah, and I told Link,’ Wind chirped. He dug into the opening of his tunic and produced a blue crystal pendant. ‘See, I had an idea after seeing Teba’s communication stone and I went ahead and tested it this afternoon. Turns out this thing connects with Link’s Sheikah Slate. Cool, huh?’

Zelda’s eyes sharpened with interest. ‘Really?’ she asked. ‘And you didn’t even need the device at hand to calibrate it, and Link didn’t even need a communication rune? It was all built-in functionality? Oh my, if I could just take a quick look –’

‘Is she gonna try to take it apart?’ Wind asked Link, who nodded solemnly. ‘Then no.’

‘I’ll put it back together again afterwards, I promise!’ Zelda pleaded.

‘You’re all conspiring against me!’ Vio wailed. ‘Why? What did I ever do to deserve this?!’

‘You did mug me,’ Legend pointed out.

‘Yeah, but I was only thirty-five percent serious at most!’ Vio snapped. ‘And anyway, what’s Wind’s excuse, then?’

‘I thought it’d be funny,’ Wind replied.

‘You WHAT?!’

‘Also, y’know, that it might be good incentive for Link to come back,’ Wind added. He shrugged. ‘If only to win the prank war, that is. And to remind him that there was a prank war. ’Cause… I mean, bullying is one thing, but you don’t bother playing pranks on people you don’t give a shit about, right? So, I thought it’d be nice to tell him.’

‘Oh,’ said Vio, seeming rather mollified as she glanced over at the newest member of the team. ‘Well, there is that, I suppose… and jokes aside, I am glad that –’

‘But mostly because I thought it’d be funny,’ Wind concluded. ‘Sorry, Vio: not my fault your pranks just aren’t on the same level as his. Shit, even Twilight could’ve come up with a better penalty game than your weakass little bug snacks.’

Vio glared at him. ‘Why, you little –!’

‘And Twilight’s a good boy,’ Wind continued plaintively. ‘The goodest of good boys.’

‘Uh,’ said Twilight. ‘What?’

‘Figure of speech. Don’t think too hard about it,’ Wind advised. ‘But it’s true, right?’

‘Umm,’ said Twilight.

‘Oh, and speaking of which,’ Link piped up as he chewed on another cricket. ‘Hey, Green, you know that note you were reading earlier? I hope you haven’t forgotten about the PS.’

‘There’s a PS?’ Green asked curiously.

‘Oh! It says PTO in the corner,’ Red pointed out. ‘Try checking the other side?’

Green flipped the note. ‘“PS:”,’ he read, ‘“hey, Vio, did you know that there’s no such thing as a free penalty game?”’

Vio jolted.

‘Oh,’ said Blue. ‘Well, isn’t that intriguing?’

An uneasy smile stretched across Vio’s face. ‘Umm… that was, uh, that was just a joke, right? A joke among friends? C’mon, we’re friends, r-right? T-truce?’

Link flinched minutely, a blush spreading across his cheeks. He made a poor attempt to stifle a smile, then nodded silently and held out his hand to shake. Vio took it.

Crunch.

Vio screamed, lurching back and frantically scraping the remains of a crispy roasted insect from her hand. ‘EW!’ she shrieked. ‘YOU TRAITOR, YOU ARSEHOLE, YOU ABSOLUTE PIECE OF SHIIIIIIIIT!’

With a cheerful smile, Link reached back into the bag, which Vio took as her cue to run off shrieking, pursued shortly after by a cackling supercentenarian armed with a rather unfortunate quantity of flame-grilled crickets.

‘Don’t run too far!’ Time called out. Neither of the two reacted, though they presumably heard. In a lower tone, Time added, ‘Huh. This is my life now, I suppose.’

Legend chuckled. ‘Sure is.’

‘Whoa!’ Link exclaimed, stumbling yet somehow managing to land in a handstand as Vio jabbed a bright yellow cane in his direction. ‘The heck is that thing? It flipped me?!’

‘Ah, how the turns table,’ she sneered. ‘Your kneecaps are mine.’

‘Not my kneecaps!’ Link yelped.

And burnt insect projectiles and threatened kneecap injuries aside, as the violent and chaotic second round of tag played out, the grins on each contestant’s face were blindingly bright in the darkness.

Vio’s stamina had its limits, and thankfully so did the bag of crickets. Green waited both of them out before privately calling a plea accompanied by an image of Red’s exhausted face and Blue’s pretending-not-to-be-exhausted face. Sorry, Vio, he said regretfully, but we really do need to merge.

‘Fine,’ Vio huffed. She turned to Link and sighed. ‘Sorry. Green’s calling. Help me up? And no tricks this time, or I really will bust your kneecaps.’

He gave an affronted look. ‘Prank you once, shame on you, prank you twice in exactly the same way, shame on me,’ he informed her. Vio rolled her eyes, but let him pull her to her feet.

‘Your letter was pretty good,’ she admitted quietly after dusting herself off.

Link laughed. ‘So was your whole decoy thing. And, uh, everything, really. I need to thank your other parts too. Or can you thank them for me? How does that work?’

‘Yeah, I can thank them for you,’ Vio agreed, taking a moment to do just that. ‘We have a mental link while we’re split like this. And technically Four will know too, when we merge, though that isn’t quite the same.’

Link regarded her curiously. ‘In what way? I thought you were all Four.’

Vio glanced over at the others. ‘Well, we’re all Four, but Four isn’t really us, in a way? When we’re split like this, we don’t have to make compromises about who we are. When we’re merged, Four decides what to say, what to do, what to wear, how to act, who to be… and since Four is a reasonable, responsible adult with four colours worth of braincells, Four makes decisions based both on what Four wants and what Four thinks the world expects from Four.’ She chuckled. ‘He’s going to have a lot of regrets this time, I’m sure, but for the record: all of us had fun, so technically Four did too. If she gets cold feet about splitting again, can you help convince her? Oh. Him, I mean.’

Link continued to give a calculating stare. ‘Next time you split, I can lend you one of my dresses, if you like?’ he offered unexpectedly.

Vio flushed. ‘You’re like a foot taller than me; there’s no way I’m fitting into your clothes. And for the record, I would not be caught dead in a maid dress.’

‘Fair. That outfit takes power to pull off; not everyone can muster it. I’ll find something a living you can wear. Might have to be child size, though, considering.’

‘Fuck you.’

Vio, Green reminded her, not unsympathetically.

She sighed, but started to move. Yeah, yeah, on my way. ‘Don’t bother,’ she told Link. ‘That’d be a waste of time and money, considering how rarely we split these days. A hair accessory would be nice, though, if you all end up somewhere that sells those. Purple and black. I’m happy to cover the cost, just don’t let Four choose it. His taste is shit.’

‘Leave it to me,’ Link promised.

‘And do try to come up with a proper nickname between now and then,’ she added. ‘I can’t be calling you “arsehole” and “dickhead” all the time, now can I?’

‘I have a name, you know.’

‘Yeah, but it’s Four’s name too. It’s everyone’s name. You’re one of us now, so don’t treat yourself like an outsider.’

‘I…’ he trailed off. ‘Yeah. Thanks. I’ll figure something out.’

‘Make sure you do,’ she replied. She gave an unenthusiastic wave and turned away. ‘I’ll be seeing you, then. I guess.’

‘Later, Vio.’

She strode over and took a seat alongside her siblings. Red gave her a reassuring smile. It’s ok Vio, they said. We’ll split again soon, right?

We better, Blue huffed.

Aren’t you the one that always stops Four from splitting? Green asked.

No way; that’s definitely Vio.

Don’t pin this on me, arsehole.

Guys, stop fighting!

Eh. They may as well get it out of their systems. Or our system, maybe? System or systems? Is it a plural system? Heh.

Green, shove your shitty wordplay where the sun doesn’t shine.

It’s night, dumbass.

Vio sighed. Settle down, children, we’re supposed to be merging, remember?

Fine, three voices echoed in tandem.

Each of the four colours closed their eyes and focused. Their consciousnesses slipped away into that strange ether where the boundaries between each became blurred. The last thing each individual persona heard was an echo of Vio’s final words: for the record, she said, I’m keeping the damn nail polish.

Link watched curiously as the four distinct fourths merged into one complete Four. Four blinked rapidly, raising his left hand to inspect the three black and purple tipped fingers mixed in with the other unadorned, untidily trimmed nails. ‘How did she even do that?’ he wondered aloud. His face twisted, hand dropping back to his side. ‘Wait, did Vio seriously… did Green actually… did Blue… did Red…? Holy shit,’ he concluded, ‘I caused a lot of trouble today.’

‘I mean, yeah,’ Link agreed. ‘It was great.’

‘You know what?’ Four said. ‘I think I will just never split again. And furthermore, I think I need to go find a nice hole to live in for the rest of my life. Please excuse me. Bye.’

He dropped down into the bedroll he was sitting in, drew the covers over his head and went still. Several moments later, when Four continued to not move or respond, Link tweaked the corner of the blanket up to find him fast asleep.

Link frowned. ‘Is that normal?’ he asked Twilight.

Equally confused, Twilight listened to Four’s breathing for a moment. ‘I think so?’ he replied dubiously. ‘Four did say that splitting was draining. The magic exhaustion probably didn’t help either. ’Rule?’

Hyrule approached and gave a quick examination. ‘Looks fine to me,’ he assured them. ‘Let’s let him rest.’

Link nodded, tossing a brief, concerned glance at Four before walking away and beckoning the others to follow. He took a seat again near where Zelda, Sky and Legend were in the midst of a spirited conversation about ancient technology (which was to say that Zelda looked spirited, Sky looked bemused and Legend wore a slightly more animated version of his usual resting bitch face).

Link watched for a moment, but then left them to it, turning to see Twilight take a seat next to him.

‘Say, umm, I was thinking…’ he began hesitantly. ‘Well, Vio mentioned it, actually, but… everyone here is actually called Link, right? So, if I’m travelling with you, I shouldn’t be the only one that gets to keep that name. So, could you, uh… could you maybe come up with a nickname for me?’

‘Oh!’ Twilight looked a little startled at the question. ‘Well, I can, but…’ Twilight glanced over at the others, then back at Link. ‘We’ve all been using our hero titles, or variants of them at least. Do you have one?’

Link flushed. ‘No. Sorry, I, uh… well, technically I was the Hylian Champion, wielder of the Sword That Seals the Darkness and all that nonsense, but that was kind of my… former self’s title. I don’t remember much from that time, and no one really knows that I’m technically the same person as… well, anyway. Long story short, I don’t really have a hero title, so if you could –’

‘Yes you do,’ Zelda cut in abruptly.

‘Huh?’ said Link, turning his head her way to find that the conversation had ceased and that Zelda, Legend and Sky were all staring at him.

‘You do have a title,’ Zelda insisted. ‘Hero of the Wild. So, assuming you follow the same convention, that would make your nickname “Wild”.’

He blinked. ‘What?’

‘Fitting,’ Legend remarked with a chuckle and a broad grin.

‘I’ll say,’ Zelda agreed. ‘I couldn’t have come up with a better title myself.’

‘But you, uh, you did come up with it. Right?’ Link asked. ‘You just made that up on the spot, didn’t you?’

Zelda rolled her eyes at him. ‘No, Wild, I did not just make that up on the spot. Honestly, considering all the time you spend eavesdropping on private conversations, how did you never hear that rumour?’

‘Because there is no rumour?’ he suggested. ‘Unless you’ve been spreading them without telling me.’

Zelda made a face at him. ‘I think you’ve already made your opinion on that matter quite clear, so no, I have not been going around telling tales of your various heroic deeds, although, believe it or not, rumours do spread even without my input. But yes: as per your wish, precious few people know of the hero who vanquished Calamity Ganon, and precious few know of the hero who calmed each Divine Beast in turn. They do, however, know of the hero who swoops in to defend travellers from monsters along the roads, or who arrives after each Blood Moon to defeat a hinox or lynel and clear the path, or who tracks down missing loved ones and brings them safely home, or who brings medicine to save a dying spouse, or who helps them build an entire new village. Those people don’t know the Hylian Champion. They know you, Link, as you are now, and they call you the Hero of the Wild.’

Link swallowed. ‘This is like two people using that phrase, right? One of which is you? And the other… uhh, maybe Sidon?’

Zelda sighed. ‘You really have no idea how influential you are, do you?’ she said fondly. ‘No, Link, these are the hundreds of people you helped and the hundreds of other people they told. These are the children telling stories to each other in the villages. These are the stablehands gossiping around the fire. Surely you would have heard from at least some of them by now?’

‘Well… umm… no,’ he replied blankly. ‘Was it… was it really that many people?’

He took a moment to try and count it out in his head. Defending travellers on the road? Well, he’d probably done that a few times. Maybe more than a few? Hard to be sure how many individual people he had helped; Meghyn and Nat probably counted for at least five individual rescues, but there were at least ten or so others he could count. What was the next thing Zelda had mentioned? Tracking down missing people? Barta probably counted. Kheel likely did. Sesami and his friends? Sure. The bit about medicine was probably a reference to Malena from Gerudo Town. The “entire new village” could only be Tarrey Town, but really all Link did was gather a few resources and a few people. It wasn’t much, and it wasn’t as if he was the only person who could have done it. Was it really such a big deal?

‘You don’t have to take it from me,’ Zelda said with a shrug. ‘Feel free to ask at the stable. They always have some good gossip.’

‘I…’ Link trailed off. ‘No, I believe you, it’s just… huh. So, I’m… I guess I’m Wild then. Hero of the Wild.’

Wild. It had a nice ring to it, now that he thought about it. A weirdly nice ring to it. A weirdly nice lightness fluttering in his chest, a weirdly nice shakiness in his limbs, a weirdly nice –

‘Do you not like it?’ Twilight asked concernedly. ‘We can come up with something else if you –’

‘No! I like it,’ he said quickly. ‘I, umm… yeah. Can I be Wild, then?’

‘’Course you can,’ Legend huffed. ‘Nice to meet you, Wild.’

A smile crept unwarranted across his face. ‘Nice to meet you, Legend. And Twilight. And Sky. And Hyrule.’ He gave a shy chuckle. ‘And, um, Zelda. Guess I’m Wild now. Hi.’

She gave a dazzling smile of her own. ‘Hello there, Wild.’

Oh no. He was blushing. That was probably an issue. He was going to be so embarrassed about that later.

Legend ruffled his hair again (wow, rude), followed by Twilight doing the same with extra vigour (wow, double rude), and then by Sky in a cheeky sneak attack delivered the very moment Wild fell face first into a sense of false security (TRIPLE RUDE).

‘Hey everyone!’ Legend hollered. ‘Get your arses over here and meet Wild!’

Fireflies fluttered gently through the still air, while, high above, the waning gibbous moon rose bright silver in the cloudless sky. With a malicious snicker, a skeletal monster erupted from the earth, shook itself clean, and had its undeath status promptly reverted to the double-negative alternative by a well-placed arrow to the skull.

‘Fuckers just don’t stay down,’ Wild remarked cheerfully. He quickly shot down the three adjacent stalkoblins – all of which seemed rather put-out by the abrupt termination of their renewed lease on life – collected the arrows, and continued on his way, humming lightly.

It was difficult to stay focused on the rather adorable, if somewhat murderous, little creatures, but he had specifically promised to not let himself be eaten by stalkoblins that particular evening. Never mind that they were smaller than him and had no visible digestive systems: in Zelda’s mysterious estimation, “I refuse to let someone like you dictate the standard workings of a digestive system”, which… fair. If it made her feel better, and if it allowed Wild a moment to wander alone and sort out his thoughts, he had no issues with making that promise. Ambiguously carnivorous reanimated skeletons aside, it was a truly beautiful night, and Wild found himself in an unusually pleasant mood.

Wild.

He smiled broadly, letting himself enjoy the word once again: Wild. Perhaps not the most complimentary of titles, if he paused to think about it, but it was him. Far more than any other titles Zelda may try to furnish him with, Wild was him. Wild was not the hero Link should have been, the hero who died one hundred years ago, but Wild still somehow belonged amid that strange gathering of Hylia’s chosen – impossible though that might have seemed even just a few hours earlier.

Wild.

He paused at the edge of the forest, taking a seat and placing a few luminous stones nearby for light. They sparkled back at him from the surface of the pond, catching his eye.

Wild looked down at his reflection. The same, familiar scars looked back at him, but this time he paid more attention to the bright, unrestrained smile that had never been present in those few glimpses of his past self, and that he rarely even pulled off in his post-Calamity self. Rare as it was, it looked natural. As if it belonged there. And strange as it was, it seemed as if that smile made Zelda, as well as his new companions, surprisingly happy. Would he admit to enjoying the hair ruffles? Absolutely not. But there was no need to be too loud in his complaints, was there?

He chuckled at his own reflection. His reflection merely smiled serenely in return.

Wild’s own smile dropped.

He looked up and saw nothing. He blinked, stared carefully, and all of a sudden, there was a shadowy figure seated at the opposite side of the pond, gazing back with an inscrutable expression on its face.

‘If it isn’t Just Link,’ his reflection commented lightly. ‘Fancy meeting you here.’

Chapter Text

‘Fancy meeting you here.’

A soft, amused voice reached Wild’s ears. Before the words could even register, he was on his feet, sword and shield in hand, mind ticking through its usual quick inventory.

No injuries. Some mild fatigue, but nothing that would materially slow him down. He had previously deemed the standard-issue soldier’s blade adequate for most encounters within the Great Plateau, but it might be best to replace it just in case. Same with the slightly damaged second-hand shield he had matched it with. The darkness would be an impediment in a fight, though it might make sneaking away a little easier, and if he used the Stasis overlay intelligently –

‘…Is something wrong?’ Dark Link queried hesitantly.

Wild froze. What was he doing?

There were no monsters present, no weapons pointed at his face, nothing but an unassuming, non-aggressive figure seated all the way to the opposite bank of the small pond. Wild forced himself to relax, sheathing his sword and sitting back down with his best attempt at a reassuring smile. ‘Sorry,’ he said awkwardly. ‘Wasn’t thinking. You, uh, startled me.’

And that was all it was, wasn’t it? There was no other way to make sense of that strange jolt in his stomach, that sudden sense of something dangerous approaching. Dark Link had startled him, but so had Sky just earlier that day, and Wild had made enough of a paranoid fool of himself back then.

The silence stretched out for a long moment. The darkness made it difficult to discern his doppelgänger’s expression, and when Dark Link finally spoke, his tone gave even fewer clues. ‘My apologies,’ he said. ‘I was a little startled myself, to be honest; I had thought you would be long gone by now.’

‘That, uh, was the plan,’ Wild replied. ‘When we last spoke, that is. Guess it just didn’t really play out that way.’ His leg was still jiggling anxiously; he forced it to still. ‘Sorry. I, uh… I really don’t know why I reacted like that. Would you like to join me? Not that I’m really doing much. Just came out for some fresh air.’

‘A true rarity in a bustling metropolis such as this,’ Dark Link commented dryly. Some of the tension in the air relaxed as he obligingly rose to his feet, walked around the pond and took a seat nearby, giving Wild a careful once-over. ‘You’re certainly looking healthier than when I last saw you,’ he remarked. ‘Got some rest, I hope? How’s that arm of yours?’

Wild stretched out the limb, inspecting the site of the recent injury he had all but forgotten about. ‘Completely fixed,’ he answered truthfully. ‘Doesn’t even hurt. Thanks, by the way.’

‘For what?’

‘The potion. And the advice.’

‘Hmm? Oh, that.’ Dark Link gazed down at the pond and into the blank space his reflection should have occupied. ‘Well, you already repaid me in full, so you needn’t feel as if there’s any debt remaining.’

‘A potion in exchange for a conversation? Come on, I’m not that stupid,’ Wild informed him. ‘You didn’t have to do that. You didn’t have to cook for me either. You didn’t even have to reveal yourself. You mentioned it would be bad if any of the other heroes found out that you were nearby, right? The fact that you trusted me enough to share what you knew has to count for something, right?’

Dark Link shrugged. ‘You shared your food, your fire, your knowledge and your company with me, and you were a truly intriguing conversation partner. Some spare supplies and a little worthless babbling from me made for a rather poor trade if anything, though if you’re really that grateful, we can certainly call it even.’

‘Suit yourself,’ said Wild, giving a shrug of his own.

For a long moment, neither of them spoke. The last of Wild’s unwarranted panic slowly ebbed into the background, easy to ignore.

‘I’m glad we’re meeting again, actually,’ Dark Link said eventually. ‘I was hoping for the chance to apologise. Last time we met, I think I was… not the most complimentary. I sensed something in you that made me a little protective. Overprotective, perhaps. Knowing what I do about the others and their quest, that is. But that’s no excuse. You didn’t need my warning, and you certainly didn’t need my condescension.’

Wild frowned. ‘I don’t think you said anything unreasonable or condescending,’ he replied. ‘It was good advice. And your information was accurate, from what I heard from the others. Actually, last time we spoke I hadn’t been intending to meet with them at all, but like I said, it just didn’t really play out that way. I ended up asking them about their quest, and they described it more or less the same way you did: there’s a lot of fighting, a lot of dangerous monsters, a lot of switching between eras, and it sounds like they’re still mostly in the dark about what’s going on – uh, no offence intended?’

Dark Link chuckled. ‘None taken.’

‘And I did follow your advice,’ Wild added. ‘You told me to think carefully before joining them. “If you do not know deep in your soul that you stand beside them as an equal, then in the end, you will be nothing but a burden”. That’s what you said, right?’

‘You have a good memory,’ Dark Link remarked.

Wild winced slightly. ‘Err… well, not exactly. But to your point, maybe I’m still not completely clear on the answer to that question, but it’s not as if I made a rash decision. I didn’t even make it purely on my own: I actually told the full story to one of the heroes – Legend, of all people; he was much more approachable than I expected, really nice actually. He seemed fine with having me tag along. And I’m going to do my best not to become a burden.’

‘Oh, I doubt that will be an issue,’ Dark Link replied with a brief, faint smile. He sighed. ‘So, you did decide to join them after all. A pity… well, not for you, but for me. I hope this doesn’t mean we end up as enemies.’

‘Why would we?’ Wild asked. ‘You never really explained that part. Is your “falling out” with the others really so irreconcilable?’

‘Hmm… well, perhaps calling it a “falling out” was misleading,’ Dark Link mused. ‘It’s not so much an irreconcilable argument as an irreconcilable reality. Light and darkness are natural enemies. We were built that way. There’s no malice in an inevitability like that.’

‘Well, you haven’t attacked me yet,’ Wild pointed out.

Dark Link regarded him with mild amusement. ‘And yet, when you saw me, you felt compelled to draw your own sword. Why was that, do you think?’

Wild flinched. ‘That… that was –’

‘Well, I suppose it doesn’t really matter,’ Dark Link cut in dismissively. ‘We can’t control our instincts, and it would be pointless for me to hold them against you. Though, I admit, I am curious, Just Link: where exactly do those instincts come from?

‘You see, there are some very interesting stories told about this place. About the Shrine of Resurrection, and about the hero who fell in battle one hundred years ago near Fort Hateno. You don’t have to answer of course, but if you’ll forgive me asking… are you that same hero?’

Wild flinched again, which was probably answer enough. He hesitated, fiddling with his hands, and replied, ‘I… yes, but… well, we’re the same person, but that was… a long time ago.’

‘Was it? For you, that is?’ Dark Link asked. ‘Of course, it was a hundred years for everyone else, but was it a hundred years for you? Were you awake and aware during that time? Do you remember it?’

His gaze shifted south, towards the location of the Shrine of Resurrection. ‘There is a similar story that may interest you, perhaps, Just Link: once, long ago, the Hero of Time was sealed away for seven years, entering as a child and emerging as an adult. For him, those years passed in the blink of an eye, even as his body aged and even as the world changed outside. But you certainly do not look your own age, Just Link. Was it different for you?’

Wild hesitated, fiddling in discomfort while he filed that story away for later. ‘I… well, the truth is… although we’re technically the same person…’ He took a shuddering breath. ‘I mean, it’s called the Shrine of Resurrection for a reason, right? The… the past version of me died a hundred years ago. That much is true. And when I woke up, I’d forgotten all about who I used to be. I’m still slowly recovering those memories. Practically every day I’m reminded of something that I should remember, and just… don’t.’

‘Hmm… but don’t you think it’s the opposite in that case?’ Dark Link commented. ‘You say you’ve forgotten things you should remember, but isn’t it actually that you’re remembering things you should have forgotten? People don’t usually remember their past lives, and yet, you do. Again, it makes me rather curious.

‘Say, Just Link: do you remember any other past lives? Do you remember being the Hero of Time? The Hero of the Sky? The Hero of Legend? Those were all technically you as well, weren’t they? That is to say, they were you from before you died.’

‘I…’ Distinctly off-balance (had Dark Link always been this verbose?), Wild took a moment to think about it. ‘No… I mean… I guess you’re right. Assuming that whole story about the Hero’s Spirit is t-true, that is. Technically they were all me at some p-point, it’s just a bit of a weird thing to think about. But, I mean, I do have the H-Hero’s Spirit, so –’

‘Do you know that for sure?’ Dark Link asked mildly. ‘Or is it just what you were told?’

‘W-well, I drew the Master Sword, after all,’ Wild pointed out. ‘That’s how I became the Hylian Champion in the f-first place.’ (Not the stuttering, not now, please.) ‘No one else is able to do that. The sword has only one m-master. That’s what I’ve been t-told at least.’ (Get a grip.)

‘So I’ve heard,’ Dark Link agreed. He left it there, but his eyes strayed thoughtfully to the very mundane, rain-damaged sword Wild carried.

‘I took it back to the Lost Woods after I was done with Ganon,’ Wild said defensively. ‘Not like I needed it for b-bokoblins and the like. And it’s old in this era – I saw the version Sky was holding and it looked nothing like the one I’m used to. I didn’t want to s-swing it around until I broke it. Not when there are other weapons that do just as well. I mean, what if some f-future hero needs it?’

‘As they inevitably will,’ Dark Link said placidly.

Wild grimaced. ‘Not anytime s-soon, I hope.’

‘Certainly not,’ Dark Link said quietly. He paused, then added, ‘My apologies. It seems my curiosity got the better of me once again. I didn’t mean to upset you.’

Link shook his head. ‘No – you didn’t do anything w-wrong, it’s just… umm… bit of a sore subject, I guess. Could we, uh, talk about something else?’

‘Of course,’ Dark Link agreed. He tilted his head thoughtfully. ‘Hmm… how about this, then? Something good happened earlier this evening, didn’t it? You were smiling before.’

‘Oh!’ Wild brightened. ‘Actually, yes. I, umm… it turns out I do have a hero’s title after all. In fact, last time we met, I promised that I’d tell you if I gained one, didn’t I? I wasn’t really expecting it, to be honest, but… well…’ He chuckled shyly, and a few more traces of the residual panic eased. ‘It’s, umm, it’s Wild. Hero of the Wild. Heh. Not as fancy as being the “Hero of Legend” or anything, but I like it. It suits me, I think.’

‘Hmm… Wild, then,’ Dark Link said slowly, as if testing the word out. He smiled. ‘Congratulations. It seems like you’ve come a long way.’

‘Yeah. Guess I have,’ Wild contemplated. He sighed. ‘Still a long way to go, though. In many ways. Hah.’

‘Well, you are young, after all.’

‘Says the old man,’ Wild joked. He paused, considering the unexpected ring of truth in his own impulsive words. ‘Say, now I’m curious: how old are you, anyway?’

Dark Link raised a brow. ‘Interesting thing to be curious about.’

Wild shrugged. ‘You don’t have to answer. It’s just… I mean, you look exactly like me, but you speak like an old sage. I sort of get this weird impression from you, like with those Sheikah monks – like they have all this experience and all this knowledge, and I’m bumbling around like a fool, only ever grasping a small fragment of it.’

Dark Link grinned. ‘Flattering. And rather perceptive, really. Well, since you helped feed my curiosity, I suppose I owe you a response: yes, I am indeed quite a bit older than I look. In some ways, if not in others.’

‘How much is “quite a bit”?’ Wild asked. Quickly, he added, ‘Oh, you don’t really owe me a response or anything, just –’

‘Curious?’ Dark Link finished amusedly. ‘A dangerous hobby indeed; I would know. Well, I don’t mind answering, but the truth is I’m really not sure what sort of number to give you. All the recent time travelling doesn’t exactly help, but even beyond that, my life has not exactly been… linear. In fact, we’re rather alike in that in sense: forgetting things we should remember, or, perhaps, remembering things that should have stayed forgotten…

‘Let’s see… my earliest memory takes place a long time ago indeed. Long before the Kingdom of Hyrule as you know it even existed. Back when demons walked the earth, and factions warred over the Triforce – a sacred relic left behind by the creator goddesses, capable of granting any wish but incapable of judging the heart of its wielder.

‘There was once a clan of magic users who tried to claim that power for themselves. They failed and were punished. Those favoured by the Goddess and her servants were offered the chance to swear loyalty to Hylia, and by extent to her mortal incarnation. Those who were not favoured, and those who refused, were sealed away in another world, never to return.’

Wild frowned. ‘When was this?’

‘Long, long ago. I don’t know how many years have passed since then. If it helps, a survivor of that clan – one who was not sealed away – ended up founding a new lineage, which came to be known as the Sheikah.’

Wild raised an eyebrow. ‘The Sheikah? So, you’re saying you’re well over ten thousand years old?!’

‘Well, technically, I suppose,’ Dark Link mused. ‘In a similar sense to how you’re technically over a hundred years old, that is. For me, it’s perhaps even more of a technicality. Yes, I remember who I was back then, but it’s not quite the same as living it myself. Even the body I once possessed is long lost. No one would recognise me now. I can’t go back to being that person, even if I wanted to.’ Eyeing Wild, he added, ‘Say, is it alright for me to be telling you this? As I said earlier, I don’t mind answering, but if this is a subject you’d rather avoid, then we can.’

‘No,’ said Wild quickly. ‘I, umm… yeah, I guess I’m curious too. So, uh, what do you remember?’

‘Bits and pieces from many, many lives,’ Dark Link answered. ‘All of them very different. Most of them cut very short.’ He tilted his head, considering. ‘In terms of linear time… let’s see… in the era I come from, probably around two or three years have passed since I regained my first memory. Before that… well, I’m not sure how many times I’ve been reborn. My role has been the same each time, just as it was described to me on the day I first swore that oath: to act as the shadow of the hero. The Hero of Darkness. A challenge for the real hero to overcome and to help them grow. I wasn’t supposed to have a mind of my own, and I certainly wasn’t supposed to remember the past, but one day… things changed.’

‘What happened?’ Wild asked. ‘What was it that made you remember?’

‘I’m not sure,’ Dark Link replied. ‘It could have been several things. In fact, I think it might have been several things, all coming together in some fickle twist of fate. An inexperienced, unqualified summoner, a high concentration of dark magic, a dangerous artefact or two brought to the wrong place at the wrong time, a hero who failed to defeat me the way I was intended to be defeated… perhaps, in the end, an avalanche of bad luck was all it took. But in your case…’ he trailed off.

‘…What?’ Wild prompted.

‘Are you sure you want me to continue?’ Dark Link asked. ‘We can leave it there if you prefer.’

‘Tell me,’ Wild insisted. His hands weren’t shaking. They weren’t.

The Hero of Darkness didn’t seem particularly impressed by his words or by his thoroughly-not-shaking hands, but after a brief, unhappy stare, he continued, ‘The shadow magic belonging to the Sheikah has changed over time, and since this era exists so much further into the future, I doubt any of your new companions would be able to recognise it for what it is. For someone like me, however… for someone very sensitive to that sort of magic, and someone who remembers all the way back to its origins… this entire land is drenched in it. I felt it the moment I arrived.

‘And then there’s you: a person who carries no small amount of that energy in his own body. That’s what drew me to you in the first place, you know. Before I even realised who you were.

‘In this era, they call it “technology”, not “magic”, don’t they? I suppose it becomes more palatable if we put it that way. See, the powers my people developed were never quite the same as the magic granted by the goddesses. Unlike light magic, dark magic leaves traces. Scars, even. On people, and on places. Like how a fire gives off light and warmth but leaves behind smoke and ash. The Sheikah have always been a clan of dark magic users; putting a different name on things doesn’t change that fact.

‘That being what it is, Wild… can you really say that the body that spent a century being rebuilt by Sheikah technology is the same as the one that first entered the Shrine of Resurrection?’ Cold, red eyes bore into Wild’s frozen form. ‘And what of the soul that inhabits it?’ Dark Link added. ‘Is the soul you possess still the same as that of the hero who died all those years ago? Did anything change in it in between the time you fell in battle and the time you rose to fight once again? I wonder. Though I suppose there’s no need to wonder, is there?

‘You said it yourself, I recall: if it is the same soul, then there’s an easy way to confirm that. Do you know what I mean, Hero of the Wild?’

Wild took a sharp breath. He opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. Dark Link waited patiently for him to respond, but eventually seeming to sense that no answer was coming, he stated, ‘The Master Sword, Wild. The Sword That Seals the Darkness.

‘Tell me: how did it feel to draw that blade?’

Wild took another breath, and promptly choked on it.

Burning. Searing. His veins were on fire, his lungs filled with ash, the sword was slowly inching free from the pedestal, but his life was leaking away so much faster. He couldn’t do it, he wasn’t worthy, oh Goddess, he was really going to die this time, Zelda, Mipha, please help, please save him, please forgive him, please don’t hate him, father –

‘Wild,’ Dark Link said loudly.

He blinked. He was crouched on all fours, gasping for breath, sweat pouring down his face. When had that happened?

‘Wild,’ Dark Link repeated. ‘Can you hear me?’

‘Y-yes,’ Wild said automatically. ‘Sorry, I just –’

It wasn’t so bad, once he got used to it. It never burned him as badly as the first time. Just a slight tingle in a sweaty palm as he raised the blade against the Calamity. He could endure. Zelda needed him. Hyrule needed him. He couldn’t fail again. What was a little well-deserved retribution from a supposedly sentient sword who supposedly hated his guts compared to what all the other Champions had faced? He put it to one side as he dashed towards his foe, cutting once, twice –

‘Wil– Link!’ a voice called sharply. He clung to the sound.

The Great Plateau. Not the castle. The Calamity was long gone, and so was the Master Sword. He could hear Dark Link’s voice. He could see luminous stones reflecting off the pond. He could feel the cold air brushing against his face. He could smell his own anxiety. It smelled like dirt and sweat. Gross.

‘The fuck is wrong with me?’ Wild wheezed. He clawed frantically at his arms, hard enough to really feel it. Probably hard enough to leave bruises.

A hand hesitantly reached out to rub his back. He flinched, but Dark Link didn’t pull away, only murmuring soft reassurances as Wild struggled to bring his breathing under control.

‘I’m – I’m ok,’ Wild croaked. ‘Sorry.’

‘Don’t be. I shouldn’t have pushed.’

‘I asked you to,’ he said breathlessly.

Dark Link shifted slightly. ‘That’s no excuse.’

‘Now you’re just being difficult,’ Wild pointed out.

‘An unfortunate habit of mine,’ Dark Link accepted.

Wild actually giggled, because oxygen-deprivation made everything hilarious. Who knew? The gentle massage on his back continued until he finally got himself under control. ‘Ok, I’m good. For real, this time.’

‘Hmm… well, I suppose your friends will be wondering where you are.’

‘I guess,’ said Wild, grimacing slightly at the idea. How much time had passed, exactly? He had thoroughly lost track. He reached for the pond and splashed water on his face, shuddering at the chill. ‘Urgh. What a mess.’

Dark Link pursed his lips. ‘You know, for the record: I don’t think that water is particularly clean.’

‘I’ve waded through worse.’

‘Nonetheless…’ Dark Link held out a waterskin. Wild grudgingly accepted the offering and washed his face a second time. When he tried to return it, his doppelgänger clasped the outstretched hand and held it there. ‘A warning, if you will, Hero of the Wild,’ he began sombrely. ‘I meant what I said earlier: light and dark are natural enemies, whether we wish it or not. You carry them both in you now, but that won’t be possible forever. If the light wins, you will likely come to see me as an enemy in the end. I can handle that. I’ve lived through it before, countless times. And yet, you haven’t, Wild. If darkness wins and those you love come to betray you, after everything you’ve faced to come this far, everything you’ve suffered and everything you’ve given, always struggling to do what is right… I fear that it will destroy you. So, I have a gift for you, Wild. An escape route. If that day ever comes, and if you cannot bring yourself to fight…’ Dark Link sighed. He tucked the waterskin away and produced another item, holding it out for inspection.

Wild jolted, hand immediately jerking towards the empty holster on his belt. ‘But that’s – when did you –?!’

‘You were a little distracted,’ Dark Link said wryly as he gently placed the Sheikah Slate into its owner’s lap. In a more solemn tone, he explained, ‘I’ve added a new Rune. I think that’s what they were called? I hope you’ll never have to use it, but I’d rather give you the option. Remember: if all else fails and you need a place to hide, seek out a reflective surface. My gift will open the way to a place the others cannot reach. Use it if you need it. Keep it hidden until then.’

Wild lifted the Sheikah Slate and inspected it with trembling fingers.

(Had he really not noticed its absence? Had he really been that distracted? What if that happened during a battle?)

With effort, he shook himself free of the spiralling thoughts and opened the Rune menu. Two new icons greeted him: one from Zelda, and the newer addition from the Hero of Darkness. To the right of the navy trumpet labelled “Communication” was an unfamiliar purple sigil consisting of a triangle surrounded by three dots, bound within a circle. The text beneath stated the Rune’s purpose: ‘“Sanctuary”,’ Wild read in a whisper.

‘Your companions approach,’ a voice murmured in his ear. ‘Stay safe, Hero of the Wild.’

He looked up, and Dark Link was nowhere to be seen. The area was empty and still, save for the light breeze that gently rippled the surface of the small pond. Wild shivered lightly, drawing his cloak tighter around himself. He glanced up, trying to gauge the time from the position of the moon only to find that it had already passed from sight. That probably wasn’t a good sign.

‘Wild?’

He jolted and swivelled at the sound of his nickname, spotting the darkness-shrouded form of someone approaching from behind. ‘Twilight?’

‘Yeah, it’s me,’ the older hero confirmed, sharp eyes quickly scanning the area before dropping back to meet Wild’s gaze. ‘Sorry. You were taking a while, and we got a little worried.’

‘“We”?’

‘Me and ’Rule came too,’ Legend huffed as the two of them emerged from the shadows. He threw a brief, unheated glare at the taller hero. ‘Sorry, we can’t all be giant long-legged arseholes.’

‘Especially since some of us are still running on fumes due to magic exhaustion,’ Hyrule chimed in sweetly.

Legend immediately turned to his successor. ‘You are? Why didn’t you say so earlier? No, forget that: you should be resting. Do you need me to carry you back?’

After (somewhat justifiably) shoving Legend into a bush, swiftly apologising in a horrified tone for the accidental excessive show of force and carefully extracting Legend out from a bush, Hyrule called out a brief greeting to Wild and asked, ‘So why did you run off like that, Twi?’

‘Just thought I heard something,’ Twilight replied vaguely. His eyes carefully searched the area one more time. ‘You ok, Wild?’ he asked.

‘I’m fine,’ Wild replied quickly. He rose to his feet. ‘Sorry I took so long.’

‘Eh. It’s fine,’ said Legend. He brushed a few stray leaves from his tunic, and added, ‘Just getting late is all, and the mother cuccos of the team wanted to make sure you hadn’t been eaten by stalfos bokoblin things or anything.’

‘And by “mother cuccos”, he means himself,’ Twilight explained helpfully.

‘Fuck you, farm boy, I’ve never been a mother cucco in my entire fucking life and I’m not about to start,’ Legend said absently. ‘Anyway, you good over there, wild child? Need a hand?’

Wild scowled slightly at the nickname. ‘I’m fine,’ he repeated tersely, and started walking. He could sense significant glances being exchanged behind his back. He ignored them.

(You’re being rude. Why are you doing this? Do you want them to hate you? Do you have any idea how much of a mess you’ve already made of things?!)

He heard Legend sigh. ‘Ok, then. Just wanted to check. And if that changes, you let someone know, alright? You’re part of the team now. Got it?’

Wild nodded jerkily, doing his best to pretend his eyes weren’t burning and that he couldn’t see Twilight’s concerned stare out of the corner of them.

‘C’mon then, it’s past your bedtime,’ Legend concluded gruffly. There was a short pause, before he added, ‘And while we’re on the topic of general okayness: ’Rule, how are you feeling? You didn’t answer me earlier. You’re not cold, are you? You look cold. Sheesh, kid, I’m telling you, we’ve gotta get you something better than those shitty threadbare tunics. Here, you can borrow my coat for n–’

‘Lege, do I need to shove you into another bush?’ Hyrule enquired calmly. ‘Because I will.’

‘Noted,’ Legend acquiesced. Wild heard a rather sheepish rustle of fabric, as if a certain veteran hero were slowly donning the coat he had hastily doffed.

Twilight snorted. ‘Never in your entire life, huh, Lege?’

‘Fuck you, farm boy.’

Despite himself, Wild smiled. A weak smile, but a smile nonetheless. From the quiet, relieved chuckle and the hand that gently patted his shoulder, it didn’t go unnoticed.

He looked over his shoulder to find Legend and Hyrule walking side by side, the former’s arm around the latter, chafing gently while he muttered quietly about knitted sweaters and magical rings of protection and his successor muttered loudly about “you don’t even wear pants”.

Wild left them to it. His hand strayed idly to the Sheikah Slate at his side, reassuring himself that it was still there and hadn’t somehow pulled another improbable vanishing act.

‘If all else fails and you need a place to hide…’

Wild gritted his teeth and shook his head, ignoring the soft noise of inquiry the motion pulled from Twilight.

‘If that day ever comes…’

‘It won’t,’ he murmured decisively. ‘It won’t happen. No matter what.’

Chapter Text

Sky awoke, as he often did, to the unshakeable conclusion that morning was an entirely too early moment in which to be forced into consciousness. He yawned unhappily, slightly mollified by the scent of something delicious nearby and slightly less mollified by the sound of a nearby argument.

He could hear the familiar voices of Time and Twilight, along with a less familiar one that he eventually placed as the newly introduced Hero of the Wild. All three of them seemed to be making at least some effort to keep their voices down, though with mixed success. Sky lay still for a long moment, waiting out the chatter with dwindling hope before finally, grudgingly, recognising that it seemed unlikely to conclude anytime soon. With a miserable groan and a grunt of exertion, he hauled his tired body up from its warm resting place, gathered his mess kit and basic equipment and shambled towards the fire.

Most of the group was already awake. Wild, Time and Twilight sat near the cooking pot Wild was mutinously stirring, with Flora propped up against a nearby tree, silently sipping from a steaming mug. Warriors offered a wave and a wry smile to Sky as he passed, unable to move without rousing the still-snoozing child sprawled across his chest. Sky smiled fondly at that; it was always somewhat amazing to him just how much space Wind’s small figure could take up in slumber. He cast a similarly affectionate glance towards the slightly more organised cuddle pile a little further away, where Legend, Hyrule and Four looked to still be asleep as well, having strategically located themselves around the less noisy parts of the campsite (Sky tried not to be too envious at that). He corrected his statement slightly after spotting Hyrule’s eyes open warily at his approach. The younger hero quickly snuggled back into Legend’s embrace, evidently deciding against disturbing the unusually peaceful sleep of his predecessor.

Sky took a seat near the cookpot and introduced his presence with a yawn and a half-hearted, fatigue-slurred greeting, gaze skating curiously over the remarkably appealing spread: bowls of chopped fruit, jars of honey, sugar, salt and spice, a pot of creamy porridge and a battered tin kettle gently trailing fragrant steam. ‘Wow,’ he expressed.

‘Morning, Sky,’ said Wild, seizing on the distraction. ‘Sorry. Did we wake you?’

‘It’s ok,’ he said sleepily, rubbing his eyes just in case he’d dreamed up the concept of an edible breakfast prepared by one of his own reincarnations. ‘But what’s all the noise, anyway? Is something wrong?’

Wild’s expression closed. ‘Nothing. Just a big, ridiculous deal over nothing.’ He gave the pot of porridge a quick stir, eyed it carefully and turned back to Sky. ‘Do you want some tea? Breakfast should be ready too.’

Sky frowned. He inspected Wild’s face carefully as he handed over his mug, taking in both the mulish line of his mouth and the deep shadows under his eyes. ‘You look tired,’ he commented. ‘Did you sleep alright, Wild?’

‘No, he didn’t,’ Time replied curtly on his behalf. ‘He didn’t sleep at all. He insisted on taking first watch last night, and then proceeded to take my watch, and Warriors’s watch, and Twilight’s as well. So he was still awake when Twilight woke up himself this morning and asked why the watch order had changed.’

Sky’s frown deepened. ‘Really? Why’d you do that, Wild?’

‘Because I’m a fucking moron, obviously,’ Wild retorted, aggressively pouring Sky a cup of tea and appearing not to notice the hot liquid that slopped onto his own fingers in the process. ‘I don’t know what you all want me to say. I already apologised. Several times, in fact.’

‘I don’t want an apology. I’m not angry at you, Wild,’ Time said with barely restrained irritation. ‘I am concerned. Why did you think you had to do that? And furthermore, why did you lie to me? I told you how watch worked, and you promised to wake me when it was my turn. And then you didn’t. Why? If you can’t even tell me that, it’s going to be hard to trust you to keep watch properly in future.’

‘I didn’t lie and I’m not lying. If you decide you can’t trust me anyway, then fine. Suit your damn self,’ Wild spat. ‘Sky, do you want breakfast or not?’

Sky blinked. He hesitantly passed his bowl over. ‘Wild, can you tell me what happened? In your own words?’

‘Fine,’ Wild snapped. Despite the ire in his tone, Sky couldn’t help but notice the nervous twitching of his hands. His voice dropped slightly as he continued, ‘As he says, I took first watch. We agreed that last night, when I got back to camp: I wasn’t sleepy, so it made sense for me to stay up. I still wasn’t sleepy when Time’s turn came around, and I wasn’t sleepy later either, so you know, dumbass that I am, I thought I’d do something nice and not wake people up for no reason, especially considering how they’re probably tired out from chasing me all over the place earlier that day. It’s not a big deal. I kept a proper watch, I did my damn job, I was alert and I am alert. I’m not fucking lying. I’ve gone days without sleeping in the past. I don’t even need that much sleep.’

‘You do need sleep,’ Time argued. ‘You absolutely need sleep! Look at you: you’re exhausted.’

‘What, you think you know my body’s limits better than I do?’ Wild retorted, voice finally rising loud enough to rouse the remaining sleepers. ‘Congratulations. Tell me all about it, then, since clearly I’m a fucking moron who doesn’t know a single fucking thing about the meatsack I inhabit.’

‘This isn’t about your body’s limits, Wild!’ Time pressed. ‘Sure, you probably can survive without sleep for days, but you had a whole group of people willing to help! I was willing to help! But you didn’t wake me, and you never really considered it, did you? You didn’t even lay out your bedroll in the first place!’

‘I don’t have a bedroll, genius,’ Wild countered harshly, turning his gaze abruptly to Sky to ask, ‘So, do you want honey and fruit?’

‘Uhh… you don’t?’ Sky asked blankly.

‘Hell yeah I do,’ said Wild emphatically, as he slathered the serving with almost as much topping as filling. ‘Can’t have porridge without honey. Unless you’re a weirdo, or allergic or whatever, which, fine, I guess, but Twilight already said there are no allergies, so I guess it’d have to be the former. Here.’

‘No, I mean, you don’t have a bedroll?’ Sky clarified, meekly accepting the meal that was shoved in his direction. ‘Why not? Flora had one, and you travel much more frequently than she does, right? Plus, you could use your slate thing to carry it like she did, so it’s not as if it’s weighing you down or anything.’

‘I didn’t have a bedroll at the beginning, and I haven’t needed it since,’ Wild said impatiently. ‘Only bought one for Her Highness because the stable folk recommended it. Better for her back and all that.’ He fiddled with his slate until a fresh bowl appeared, which he then filled and passed to Flora. ‘Waste of money in my case,’ he continued. ‘I mean, what, you think I make a habit of dozing off in open areas like this where any passing assassin worth their salt can take a free stab? Can’t exactly chuck bananas at them while I’m asleep, now, can I? Look, I just –’ he cut himself off, biting his lip and glaring at the ground. In a measured tone, he continued, ‘I’m sorry, ok? About the watch thing. I thought I was being helpful, but I clearly wasn’t. I screwed up, and I disobeyed you. It won’t happen again. Promise. So please, just…’ The sentence trailed off, leaving Wild fiddling uneasily with his hands, face twisting in a rather gutting impression of a kicked puppy. Eventually, he rose to his feet with an awkward nod in the vague direction of Time and Twilight. ‘Breakfast is ready, if you still want it,’ he concluded gruffly. ‘I’ll, uh, be back in just a moment. Toilet break. Bye.’

‘Wild –’ Sky began, but the hero in question had already made his hasty departure. Sky started to follow, but paused when an outstretched arm was placed in his path. ‘Let’s give him some space for now,’ Twilight suggested gently. ‘He doesn’t know us yet.’

True enough, Sky accepted unhappily. He sighed, settling down to enjoy his breakfast (and whoa, that was the best porridge he’d ever tasted. How?!).

After a long, silent pause, Time spoke up. ‘I could have handled that better,’ he admitted.

‘Perhaps you could have,’ Flora commented, ‘though perhaps Wild himself could have handled that better.’

Time scoffed. ‘Wild is a sleep-deprived, anxious supercentenarian teenager surrounded by near-strangers that he’s seemingly rather desperate to impress,’ he stated, ‘and I’m a well-rested adult who should damn well know better. I refuse to be the smaller person here.’

Flora gave a non-committal shrug. ‘He didn’t teleport, at least,’ she pointed out.

‘If that bar gets any lower, I’ll need a shovel,’ Time said dryly. He paused. ‘Say, Your H– Flora. Does he really not have a bedroll?’

‘He doesn’t,’ she confirmed. ‘For the reasons he stated. The part about being stabbed while sleeping? That wasn’t hyperbole. This specific location is relatively safe, all things considered, but you may wish to keep that knowledge in mind as you travel.’

Time winced. ‘Understood. Well, that is why we keep a watch cycle, and I’d still rather he was properly outfitted. Do you happen to know if he’s missing anything else important?’

Flora inclined her head imperiously. ‘How about you tell me what he should have, and I’ll tell you if he ever bothered to acquire it?’

‘Deal,’ Time agreed. ‘Let’s start with the basics, then…’

Wild checked the time on his Sheikah Slate once more, and gave a small sigh. The five minutes he’d allotted for cooling down and/or brooding were up. It was time to return.

He hadn’t wandered far. In fact, he was surprised the others had let him wander at all, given the events of the previous night. Maybe there was simply less potential trouble one could cause under the light of the sun. Maybe they’d just lost interest. Either way, he wasn’t about to make his new companions chase after him twice within the space of less than twenty-four hours.

Hushed voices greeted Wild’s return. He deliberately made enough noise to be noticed, therefore caught little of the conversation beyond the quick “shh” that must have heralded a change in topic.

Wonderful.

The whole group seemed to be awake, and most were tucking into the breakfast he’d made. Wild felt a slight knot in his chest loosen: at least he’d gotten something right.

‘Over here, Wild,’ Zelda called, indicating clearly towards his designated seat – one placed between her and Time, which Wild was fairly certain was the last place on earth that he could possibly desire to inhabit in that moment. He gave an inward sigh, but conceded the point: may as well face the music sooner rather than later.

He took his seat and gave Time a quick nod, searching carefully for the words he needed. A swift elbow from Zelda neatly severed his thought process at its roots. ‘Yes?’ he asked irritably.

She gave him a flat look. ‘You haven’t eaten yet,’ she pointed out. ‘Do you have any spare bowls, or do I need to go and wash mine first?’

‘Oh. It’s ok. I’m, uh, actually not all that hungry,’ he replied. ‘Just give my serving to whoever wants seconds. If you’re still hungry, then go for it.’

She stared at him, wide-eyed. ‘Are you dying?’

‘I mean, we’re all dying, technically,’ he joked feebly. ‘But, uh, I don’t think I’m doing it at a particularly fast pace. So, do you want some more porridge? If not, I’ll take your dishes.’ He looked around for other empty bowls: Sky and Twilight looked to be finished (both gazing at him with uncomfortably inscrutable expressions; what was their problem?), but most of the others were still eating. A bit too early for that, then. As for other chores that needed doing… well, the fire was looking a little low – but it was morning, breakfast was already cooked, they didn’t actually need a fire, did they? Stupid…

Wild flinched at the unexpected sound of Time’s voice. ‘Do you think you could manage a small portion?’ the older hero suggested. ‘Or even just some fruit, to keep your energy up?’

Was that an order? ‘Uhh… alright, then,’ Wild assented quietly. He grimaced at the unappetising contents of the pot, fiddling absently with the ladle as he did his best to calculate a portion large enough to satisfy the command yet small enough that he could feasibly force it past the lump in his throat. His gaze shifted to the bowl of fruit, and he quickly decided that that was the safer option. Wild doled out a few spoonfuls, gave the older hero a brief side-glance to gauge if it was sufficient (Time didn’t look angry?), and settled in to nibble unhappily at his breakfast.

‘Wild, are you…?’ Time began hesitantly. He paused and then tried a different tack. ‘I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier,’ he said. ‘I shouldn’t have spoken so harshly, I shouldn’t have pushed so hard and I definitely shouldn’t have called you a liar.’

A small, noisy part of Wild flared up in fervent agreement. He tamped it down easily enough. ‘No, sir,’ he replied steadily. ‘I was in the wrong. I apologise for my thoughtlessness, my impertinence and for the inconvenience I caused. I will be more mindful from now on.’

Silence greeted his response. Wild kept his eyes down, counting the seconds while his anxiety skyrocketed, mind racing for an answer as for what he’d done wrong this time.

‘Wild, I...’ Time trailed off. ‘I’m not your superior. You don’t have to call me “sir”, and you’re allowed to be upset if I do the wrong thing.’

Wild jolted. ‘Oh,’ he heard himself say, as his gaze flicked up to see the concerned expression on the older hero’s face.

Gaze tightening as it met Wild’s, Time added, ‘For that matter… well, I may as well ask: other than myself, is there an authority figure that I need to go and punch on your behalf?’

Wild let out a startled laugh. ‘Ah… no. I mean, what, you think we have authority figures in this era? Oh. Well, I guess technically there’s a Gerudo chief and a Zora king, and, uh, the Rito and the Gorons have elders, but don’t go punching any of those, they’re all good people, I swear – oh, and don’t punch Her Highness either, of course, or Impa I guess – look, I just…’ he coughed lightly, cutting off his own rambling. ‘Sorry. Force of habit. From the before time. Not exactly sure why I reacted like that. Amnesia, you know? What else is new.’

For a brief moment, Time glared off into the distance, left hand fiddling idly with the hilt of his dagger. His expression gentled as he turned to Wild, reaching out before abruptly halting to ask, ‘Is touch ok for you right now?’

‘Hmm? Oh, yeah, that’s fine,’ said Wild. Despite himself, he still flinched slightly as Time’s arm made contact with his shoulder. It paused there, but when Wild didn’t pull away, it continued on its path and drew him slowly into a gentle embrace.

Oh, he thought. That was surprisingly pleasant.

He closed his eyes briefly, taking a deep breath and luxuriating in the sensation of being held. Maybe he really was tired: a little light pressure and some shared body heat shouldn’t feel quite so heavenly as that.

‘Sorry,’ Wild repeated quietly. ‘Really. For my reaction just now, and for the whole watch thing. For what it’s worth, I really didn’t mean to cause any trouble. Actually thought I was being helpful if you can believe that. Thought it was the least I could do to make up for… well, guess that doesn’t mean much considering how much trouble I’ve already caused, but –’

‘None of that,’ Time chided, then quickly appended, ‘Not an order. A request: will you give me a chance to explain why I was upset?’

Thoroughly confused by the direction the conversation was taking, Wild gave a hesitant nod.

‘Alright. So, first things first, I’d like to make this clear: you have nothing to make up for, and there’s no need to prove yourself, either. We may not know much about each other yet, but from all I’ve seen and heard so far, I think you’ll fit right in.’

Wild grimaced, but gave another nod. Arguing the point would hardly help his case, after all.

‘I mean it,’ Time insisted. ‘If you don’t believe me yet, at least try to keep it in mind. Think you can do that?’

Wild shrugged. ‘Sure,’ he said.

Time made a light sound of frustration. ‘Good enough for now. Second point, then: although I’m not your superior, I am the oldest –’

‘Hundred and sixteen years old,’ Wild said, pointing at himself.

Time seemed unimpressed. ‘I am mentally and physically the oldest, which means,’ he continued firmly, ‘that I tend to feel responsible for everyone’s health and safety. It isn’t healthy to not sleep, Wild. It means you won’t be in top condition if we have to fight, and it also means you’ll be at greater risk of getting sick. That’s why we take turns on watch, and that’s why I was upset. Because I was concerned about you, and because I thought you were being overly dismissive of your own health and safety. Not because you disobeyed me. You can disobey me as much as you like so long as you’re not putting yourself or others in danger, alright?

‘Next time, if you really can’t sleep, I want you to ask for help – don’t just treat sleeplessness as a given. Several of us have similar problems, or have had them in the past. There are ways we can help.’ He paused. ‘And for the record, while it sounds like this time was a genuine mistake, if you do end up doing something reckless on purpose… well, I’ll be frustrated, and I might think twice before giving you the opportunity to do it again, but I’m not going to punish you. I’ll let you in on a secret, Wild: every single person here is a reckless moron at times. Every. Single. One. Even me.’ Thoughtfully, he added, ‘Even Twilight, and he’s a good boy. The goodest of good boys.’

‘Ok, that does it: what the hell does that even mean?!’ Twilight interjected loudly, startling Wild enough for him to finally shift his gaze away from Time’s shoulder and towards the shamelessly eavesdropping eight-fold audience to their two-fold conversation.

(Oops.)

‘What? It’s a compliment,’ Time said innocently. ‘I’m merely informing our newest member of the fact that you are indeed a responsible, fully-functioning adult and, in general, an excellent reference point for future sensible decision making.’

Twilight made a face. ‘Somehow, that doesn’t sound like a compliment.’

‘How mysterious,’ Time remarked. ‘And there I was, being so complimentary. Won’t anyone back me up here?’

‘For what it’s worth,’ Four chimed in suddenly, ‘if you think Twilight is a sensible decision-maker, then you haven’t seen what I’ve seen.’

‘Thank you,’ Twilight said emphatically. His brow creased. ‘But hold on… what exactly do you mean by that, Four?’

‘I mean I’ve seen some shit,’ Four said distantly.

‘You too, huh?’ Wind sniggered.

‘Err… you’re going to have to be a bit more specific,’ said Twilight. ‘Or, actually, you know, on second thought, depending on what you saw, maybe we should just have a side discussion and –’

‘No, Twi,’ Four replied solemnly. ‘They have a right to know.’

‘Uhh…’ Wild saw Twilight’s eyes flicker nervously from person to person. ‘Yeah, I… I guess… it’s just… I don’t know that I’m ready to uhh…’ He gulped, but then seemed to steel himself. ‘Ok, you know what? Fine. Sure. Do your worst: let’s get it over with.’

Four nodded. ‘The last time we were separated during a shift,’ he announced dramatically, ‘I saw Twilight hunt down and eat a chuchu. Raw.’

‘Oh,’ said Twilight. ‘That.’

Inexplicably, Time burst out laughing, nearly knocking Wild over with the force of his amusement. Twilight glared at him, reddened face twisted in some confused combination of relief and embarrassment. ‘“Oh. That”,’ Time wheezed. ‘Was that not what you were expecting, pup? For a moment there, you really looked like the wolf was at your door.’

‘Wow,’ said Twilight. ‘Never thought I’d be the one responsible for the death of my mentor.’

‘Hey, no, I’m not even joking about that chuchu thing,’ Four insisted. ‘I swear: he just ripped it in half, scooped out the insides with a bottle and drank them right then and there. Super casual. Didn’t flinch. Couldn’t even tell why I was freaking out about it.’

Wearing an expression of utter revulsion, Legend asked, ‘You’re shitting us, right?’

Four shook his head solemnly. ‘I wish I was.’

Wild grimaced. ‘He didn’t even boil it?’

‘Why would I boil it?’ Twilight asked confusedly.

‘Yeah, you have to eat them fresh,’ Time agreed in between continued cackles.

‘You’re shitting us, right, old man?’ Legend said pleadingly.

‘“Chuchu” is just a different name for a gel or a bit, right? I didn’t know you could eat them,’ Hyrule remarked, either ignoring or failing to notice the horrified expression of his predecessor. ‘Doesn’t seem like they’d have much in the way of nutrients,’ he added thoughtfully. ‘What do they taste like, anyway?’

‘Like a red potion,’ Twilight said impatiently. ‘Has the same effect too. Honestly, I don’t know why this is such a big deal.’

‘Raw chuchu jelly does not have the same effect as a red potion,’ Wild disputed. ‘Red potions don’t give you diarrhoea, least as far as I know. Fucking boil it first, you heathen.’

‘I’ve never gotten sick from red chu jelly!’ Twilight insisted. ‘Purple ones, sure, those are a bit dicey, but if you’re stuck in the middle of a dungeon with no potions –’

‘No, fuck this, I’m putting my fucking foot down,’ Legend snapped. ‘Red or purple, boiled or raw, no one’s eating fucking chuchus on my watch.’

‘Don’t be a stick in the mud, Legend,’ Time said innocently.

‘Yeah, Legend, don’t be a stick in the mud,’ Twilight agreed with a malicious leer.

Legend made an outraged sound before bursting into a truly impressive lecture about food safety, proper nutrition and “impressionable fucking kids for fuck’s sake” (‘Language,’ Time contributed idly), which handily covered up the surreptitious movement of a certain Hylian princess filling Wild’s bowl with porridge, fruit and honey and shoving it into his lap with a haughty scowl that dared him to disobey.

Wild shrugged, smiling faintly as he lifted his spoon. It was a royal order, after all. Nothing he could do.

Half an hour later, with Four and Twilight assigned to dish duty, Wind and Sky to erase-evidence-of-the-pit-traps duty and Hyrule to distract-Wild duty (how that kid still had so much energy was a mystery), Time reconvened the remaining members of the newly-formed Wild Protection Squad.

‘So,’ Legend began. ‘Before we discuss anything else: I have a few theoretical questions relating to the identity of a certain historical authority figure or figures, the effectiveness of historical law enforcement and the ethics of time travelling for the sake of bloody vengeance.’

‘Probably not ethical,’ Time answered reluctantly. He fiddled thoughtfully with the ocarina on his hip. ‘Also, probably not practical. Not without some sort of divine intervention. A hundred years is a long time, after all.’

‘Knew I shouldn’t have given that fucking harp back,’ Legend muttered. In a louder tone, he continued, ‘Alright, fine: next question. What’s the plan, and how long do we have?’

‘Teba and his companions should be here in about two hours,’ Flora replied. ‘That should give us just enough leeway if we move quickly. If not, I can ask him to stall. As for the plan: the Sheikah Slate can only teleport one person at a time, but I can get down from here myself thanks to my paraglider. I’d therefore suggest one or two of you get started in the stable while I visit Gerudo Town and sort out the rest. There’s a shrine right near where you’ll need to go; I can show you how to get there, then meet you at the stable.’

‘We’re quite a way up,’ Time said dubiously.

Flora shrugged. ‘I’ve done it before.’ That perhaps wasn’t quite as reassuring as the princess had hoped, but she continued, ‘I should warn you: my Sheikah Slate is a bit of a blunt tool compared to what Wild uses, so teleportation can be a little bumpy. It shouldn’t cause any major issues, but you may feel a little unwell. That’s part of why I suggest only one or two of you head down that way.’

‘Wonderful,’ Legend deadpanned. ‘Well, so long as it isn’t too much worse than the portals we’ve been using so far, we should be fine. Out of curiosity, what’s the other part of why the rest of us need to wait?’

‘Because neither Wild’s slate nor my own were built to handle a particularly large number of back-to-back teleportations,’ she said bluntly. ‘Long story. Involves explosions. Well, the good news is that Wild’s one already has a safety lock built into it, which I’m sure I’ll be able to duplicate for mine eventually. In the meantime, let’s just follow dear Flora’s wise directions and avoid tempting fate.’

Slightly less confident in dear Flora’s wise directions than they had been a few moments ago, the assembled heroes exchanged wary glances. ‘If you say so,’ Time heard himself say.

‘Excellent,’ Flora said brightly. ‘Well then, who wants to help out?’

‘I’ll go,’ Warriors offered gamely. ‘I have some experience with supply. I’m confident I can pick out the best items for Wild.’

Legend sighed. ‘Then I’d better tag along and make sure pretty boy here doesn’t waste all our money on expensive, impractical garbage.’ In a lower tone, he added, ‘Gotta pick out some stuff for ’Rule too, while we’re at it.’

Warriors grinned sharply. ‘Nothing too expensive or impractical, alright?’

‘Fuck you, pretty boy, I’ve been haggling since before you were even born.’

‘You’re not even twenty years old, little bro.’

‘And you’re not even –’

‘Two hours, remember?’ Time interrupted.

Legend mulishly settled himself. ‘Fine. I’ll go first, then,’ he said. ‘How’s this teleport thing work anyway?’

Flora held out her Sheikah Slate. ‘Here, take a look at my map. The shrine you want is right over here, and the stable is just downhill. You really can’t miss it. So, to teleport…’

A short distance away, having more or less forgotten the reasons why he was suddenly being allowed to run off and explore, Hyrule was utterly preoccupied with having the time of his life.

‘So, you mean none of the mushrooms here are poisonous?’ he demanded gleefully from a thoroughly bemused Wild.

‘Well, there are poisonous mushrooms nearby, but all of these ones are fine,’ he replied.

‘But there’s so many of them,’ Hyrule marvelled.

Wild shrugged. ‘Well, yeah. It’s autumn. And no one else is munching on them, ’cept for the squirrels, the wild boars and the slugs and snails, and there’s only so many mushrooms they can handle.’

He said it so matter-of-factly; as if the idea of such abundance was plain and simple common sense. Hyrule tried to not let that sting. Instead, he pointed to a red mushroom and asked, ‘Can you tell me what those are again?’

‘Hylian shrooms,’ Wild replied easily. ‘They’re not the best in terms of taste or texture, and they don’t give any special effects when cooked, but they’re healthy, filling and easy to find.’

‘Special effects?!’ Hyrule squawked. ‘Hold on, your mushrooms have special effects when cooked? As in you can make potions out of them? What kind?’

Wild grinned back at him. ‘Well, not really potions. I think you can use them in tea, but I normally just stir-fry them or make skewers. They’re great with a bit of butter or some rendered fat – depends on the specific mushroom of course, though honestly truffles go with practically anything if you’re lucky enough to find them. As for the effects…’ He pointed at a cluster of dark pink mushrooms with slits in their caps. ‘See those? Razorshrooms. They boost your strength a little if you cook them just right – not by a huge amount, mind you, but it’s noticeable. I can cook up a few to demonstrate it for you later, if you like. Ah – and see those grey ones? Ironshrooms. The texture isn’t great, but they’re good for defence: they reduce pain and seem to make you bleed a little less if you get hit. I sometimes cook them if I know I’m going into a tough battle… oh, in fact, now that I think of it…’

‘And the green ones?’ Hyrule demanded. ‘What do those do?’

‘Stamella shroom,’ Wild answered absentmindedly. ‘Good find – they might look a little weird, but they’re pretty tasty. Sweet and soft. They have an energy boosting effect.’

‘Energy boosting?’ Hyrule repeated. He carefully cut the mushroom at the stem and turned it over in his hands. ‘Does it work on magic exhaustion?’

‘Hmm… maybe? That’s not something I’ve personally experienced, so we’d have to test it. Could also try endura shrooms, see if those do anything…’

‘Endura shrooms? What do those look like?’

‘Huh? Oh… golden colour, little smaller than the others… if I see any, I’ll tell you.’

Wilting slightly, Hyrule turned to look at Wild. ‘Sorry… am I boring you?’

‘No!’ Wild said quickly, shocked gaze snapping to meet Hyrule’s. ‘No, not at all! Sorry, I was just a bit distracted. Here, I can keep that in my slate for you if you like.’

‘If I upset you, you can tell me,’ Hyrule informed him.

‘You really, really didn’t!’ Wild insisted. ‘I’m having fun! It’s not often I meet someone who’s as enthusiastic about this stuff as you. It’s just…’ a guilty look crossed his face. ‘It really has nothing to do with you, it’s just that I was reminded of something else… a chore I have to do. A-and I should probably do it soon. Not that I’m not having fun! Just that… well, we still have a few hours left before we all head off, right? Would you… or do you think Time and the others would be upset if I went away for a little bit?’

‘To do what?’ Hyrule asked.

Wild chewed his lip for a moment, prodding a cluster of Hylian shrooms with a stick. ‘You know how it was the Blood Moon the other day, right? And how I said I had a route that I always took to clear out tough monsters that were difficult for travellers and merchants to avoid?’ He grimaced. ‘Actually, the most important of those spots is right near here. I don’t even need to teleport; just to paraglide off the edge of the plateau.’ He pulled out his Sheikah Slate and showed the map (which Hyrule definitely knew how to read, no issues there, nope), continuing, ‘There’s a hinox on the way to the Digdogg Suspension Bridge. It’s the main path out from the Gerudo Desert, and the secondary path has lynels. Travellers would occasionally sneak past, but merchants wouldn’t risk that, not in any great number at least. But that changed since I got rid of the hinox. Even the nearby stable is less of a rest-stop and more of a proper trading post now. But with the Blood Moon…’

‘A hinox, huh?’ Hyrule mused. ‘Could be tough, if it’s infected.’

It was Wild’s turn to wilt. ‘So I shouldn’t go?’

‘You shouldn’t go alone,’ Hyrule corrected. ‘You said it’s close, right? So why don’t you and I go together? We can probably convince Sky to come too. All three of us have ways of getting down the cliff if needed. Or if we wait a few hours, we can all go together.’ Slightly reluctantly, he added, ‘Actually, if we ask Time, that’s probably what he’d suggest.’

Wild hesitated. ‘I, umm… look,’ he said, ‘I really don’t want to cause any trouble. If it’s not infected, I should be able to defeat it easily enough. If it is… well, I’ll figure that out if it happens. You don’t need to… Time doesn’t need to… I can handle it myself. I really don’t want to cause any trouble.’

‘I see,’ said Hyrule calmly. He mulled those words over as he slowly ticked off points on a mental list. Teleporting with injuries? Not trouble. Exploding himself up a cliff while injured? Totally fine. Exploding himself off Wind’s face, shortly after being healed from said injuries? Don’t even mention it. Asking for help as an alternative to engaging in solo combat with his third giant monster in as many days? Well, now that crossed a line, apparently.

Sure, Hyrule was a hypocrite. He knew that well enough, even with no one else around to point it out for him. He would still prefer not to think about the possibility that the current conversation might be formed out of some kind of inescapable cosmic retribution for past misdeeds.

‘Wild,’ he said. ‘You can contact Wind on your Sheikah Slate, right? Can you do that now, please?’

Hyrule wasn’t quite sure what his expression looked like, but apparently it was rather convincing. Wild swiftly complied.

‘Hey there, Wild!’ Wind’s familiar voice soon chirped. ‘What’s up? Everything good? If you have a problem, I have a shovel.’

‘Uhh… not this time,’ said Wild. ‘Hyrule wanted to talk.’

‘Huh? About what? Are the two of you ok?’

Hyrule moved closer. ‘We’re fine. Is Sky there?’ he asked. ‘I want to talk to both of you if possible.’

‘Oh, sure. Let me just…’

There was a quick shuffling sound, a few mumbled words, and a slightly louder, ‘Hello?’ from Sky.

‘Alright, here’s the situation,’ Hyrule began. ‘Wild and I are about to go do something Time would probably disapprove of, and I need accomplices.’

Wild shot him an alarmed look. ‘You, uh, know how I said I didn’t want to cause trouble –’

‘“Accomplices”?’ Sky repeated, which wasn’t, strictly speaking, a “no”.

‘Go on, then,’ said Wind, which was most definitely not a “no”.

‘Basically, we’re going to go off and fight a giant monster, and instead of asking permission we’re going to beg forgiveness,’ Hyrule summarised.

There was a brief moment of silence, broken by an intrigued hum. ‘This sounds like a fucking terrible idea,’ Wind observed. ‘I’m in.’

Chapter Text

‘This adventure will,’ Time began calmly, as he watched the Hero of Warriors glide through the air while death-gripping a rather fragile-looking device of wood and fabric, ‘be the death of me.’

Twilight snorted and patted his mentor on the back. ‘Stay strong, old man. The day is still young.’

Neither of them were quite sure whether it was chivalry, practicality or merely that peculiar spark of “shitty baby gremlin energy” (Legend’s rather apt phrasing) that every hero seemed to possess in one quantity or another, but somehow, after watching Flora glide down on her own the first time, Warriors had arrived at the conclusion that it would be quicker and easier for him to borrow the paraglider himself rather than arrange another hand-off at the stable. With his superior hearing and the magnifying lenses of his Hawkeye mask, Twilight caught enough of Warriors’s grinning and whooping to lean towards the latter justification. He swiftly decided to not mention this to his mentor.

‘This is definitely payback,’ Time murmured to himself. ‘There’s no way he hasn’t figured it out by now.’

‘Figured what out?’ Four asked curiously.

Time jolted. ‘Err… never mind,’ he said quickly, and turned resolutely away from the cliff. ‘Hmm… we still have some spare time,’ he added. ‘Either of you up for a quick spar or two while we wait?’

‘Really, old man?’ Four teased. ‘You can’t even let yourself relax for a few measly hours?’

Time’s eye twinkled. ‘Scared I might win?’

Four twitched. ‘You know, I’d have to be pretty damn thick to fall for that one,’ he pointed out.

‘Is that a no?’ asked Time.

Four sighed. ‘It’s a yes.’

‘Have fun,’ Twilight offered. ‘While you’re doing that, I think I’ll head over and see how the others are doing.’

‘How much trouble could they really get up to?’ Time wondered aloud. ‘Wait, no: don’t answer that.’

‘I won’t,’ Twilight agreed. ‘In fact, I’d rather not even think about it.’

Time grimaced. ‘Want us to come with?’

‘No need. Unless you want Four to win by default,’ Twilight joked.

‘Oh, well that’s definitely not happening,’ Time decided, though he cast a careful look over his protégé, giving a slight nod at the end. Take care, that nod said. Twilight smiled and gave a quick wave as he departed.

It was fine, after all. No need to bother his mentor with the knowledge of that nagging prescience of an impending catastrophe. It was probably nothing. As Time had said: how much trouble could the others really get up to?

A short distance away, towards the north-western edge of the Great Plateau, three legendary heroes peered down at the giant monster slumbering far below and contemplated their next move.

‘So that’s the hinox, huh?’ Sky commented. ‘Looks a bit bigger than the ones in Legend’s era.’

‘It’s fricken huge,’ Wind stated.

Hyrule hummed his agreement. ‘The lynel was bigger and tougher than the ones I’m used to as well. Maybe that’s just how things are in Wild’s era?’ He turned to look at the fourth member of their group and found him hovering nervously a few metres back, wringing his hands and refusing to meet anyone’s eyes. ‘So, how do you suggest we do this?’ Hyrule asked.

Wild hesitated. ‘Are you, uh… are you sure you don’t mind helping out?’

‘Fighting monsters is kinda our job,’ Wind pointed out. ‘Stirring shit with the responsible adults is just a bonus.’

‘Hey! I’m a responsible adult,’ Sky protested.

There was a long, meaningful silence thick with heavy stares. ‘Fair,’ Sky quietly conceded.

Hyrule shrugged. ‘It’s ok, Wild. After all, if fighting one of your hinoxes is such a simple task that you would seriously consider doing it all by yourself, even considering the possibility that it might be infected, then I’m sure it’ll be no problem for the four of us together. Right?’

‘I… well, they’re not exactly easy enemies…’ Wild hedged. ‘For me, at least, that is. It might be – it would probably be different for you.’

‘Let’s assume not,’ Hyrule disputed with passive-aggressive cheer. ‘Tell us, then: what should we expect?’

Rather sheepishly, Wild moved closer and took a seat next to the others. ‘The main thing to keep in mind is that they hit really, really hard,’ he explained. ‘It’s generally not enough to kill me in one blow these days, but it’ll still break some ribs, even when it’s just flailing aimlessly. Worse when it’s actually trying, of course. They’re fond of throwing trees around – luckily there aren’t any in reach down there, but it can knock you off the islet if you’re not careful. Don’t get too close to the edge, and don’t let it destroy the bridges either; merchants and travellers need to use those. If anyone does fall, I’d suggest you swim to the shrine over there.’ He pointed out the location, and continued, ‘Hinoxes are fast too – faster than you might expect. And cleverer than they look. Black-pelted hinoxes like this one are the worst variety in every way: they’re the strongest, the fastest and the toughest. They also regenerate pretty quickly, which is a pain.’

‘They regenerate?!’ Hyrule demanded. ‘As in while you’re fighting them?’

‘Sure,’ said Wild confusedly. ‘All monsters do – all the ones I’ve fought, at least, except where I manage to take them down in a single blow. Don’t yours?’

His audience exchanged alarmed looks and head shakes.

‘I guess chuchus sort of do something like that?’ Sky suggested dubiously. ‘If you don’t beat them, they join back together. Never seen any other monsters regenerate. That must be tough.’

Wild shrugged. ‘It’s manageable, just something you need to pay attention to. Though that does explain a lot about why Four and Legend struggled so much with the lynel the other day – assuming their monsters are more like yours than mine. Around here at least, you really do need to hit hard and fast if you want monsters to actually stay down. If you take too long, they just heal back any damage you deal.’

‘I see,’ Hyrule murmured thoughtfully. It did indeed explain a lot.

That very first night, he’d noticed just how different Wild’s fighting style was from his own: where Hyrule was slow and careful, focused on defence and on watching and waiting for the right moment, Wild moved with reckless abandon, bringing each new confrontation to a swift and brutal conclusion. Even the shield the other hero bore acted more as a bludgeoning weapon than anything else. It had impressed and frightened Hyrule in equal measure: so many times, Wild had intentionally left himself open in order to draw an enemy into a trap, and each time, Hyrule had flinched, anticipating the moment he would be just a little too slow.

Patience, caution and careful rationing of resources was how Hyrule had survived his adventures. Had Wild himself ever been presented with that option?

‘Guess I had it pretty easy,’ he remarked quietly.

‘Bullshit,’ Wind contributed unhelpfully.

Hyrule flapped an exasperated hand in the younger hero’s direction. ‘Back on topic. How do you normally fight hinoxes, then?’ he asked Wild.

Wild shrugged. ‘Well, first off: they spend a lot of time sleeping, so if you manage to sneak up on them, that’s a good opportunity to deal some easy damage – though you have to be careful once they start moving, because you do not want to get hit by a flailing hinox limb. Then, once I have a bit of space, I reach for my bow and aim for the eye. It’s not enough to blind them – arrows are a bit too small for that – but it distracts them enough to knock them down. I go for the limbs next and try to incapacitate it, or sometimes for the vitals to buy some extra time while it regenerates. The only way to reliably kill a hinox is to cut off its head, but they’ve got necks like tree trunks. I’ve never been able to do it in one swing, though it might be different for – well, anyway. When I fight them at least, it takes several hits, which is hard to do if it’s flailing around wildly, thus why I try to weaken it first. Oh, and before I forget: there are a few other monsters along the way which we’ll probably have to deal with as well. Couple of bokoblins, some moblins and a wizzrobe. Nothing that should pose too much of a threat.’

‘I sure hope not,’ Wind voiced. ‘The hinox sounds like enough of a nightmare by itself.’ He peered over the edge once again, and grimaced. ‘Sheesh. It’s a long way down. Should we head somewhere closer to the water to be safe?’

‘No need,’ Sky answered. ‘Your leaf functions more or less like my sailcloth except with a few extra functions, right? Just make sure to kick off the cliff properly so you don’t slam into anything on the way down, and make sure to open your leaf before you hit the ground. If you leave it to the last moment, it shouldn’t eat up too much magic either. Might give you a few bruises if you’re not used to it, but nothing too major.’

Wild nodded distractedly, eyes still scanning the area below, while Wind and Hyrule turned to inspect Sky with varying degrees of incredulity.

‘Sky,’ said Wind. ‘Has anyone ever told you that you’re a bad influence?’

‘A few people,’ said Sky. ‘Why do you ask?’

‘Because those people are wrong, and, quite frankly, you don’t need that sort of negativity in your life,’ Wind informed him.

‘…Thank you?’ Sky replied confusedly.

‘You’re welcome,’ said Wind. ‘Oh, but speaking of bad influences: Wild, can you do me a favour?’

Wild startled at the sudden request. ‘Huh? What is it?’

‘Sky and I were supposed to be back by now,’ Wind explained. ‘It sounds like this might take a while, so can you contact Flora and get her to pass on an alibi for us? Just make up something about how we’re off being responsible individuals on the other side of the Great Plateau or whatever.’

Wild blinked. Hesitantly, he replied, ‘Uhh… wouldn’t it be kind of bad to lie to your friends? As in ill-advised, irresponsible and just generally… not nice?’

Hyrule, Wind and Sky exchanged glances.

‘I guess it would,’ Sky agreed.

‘Probably ill-advised, maybe a little bit irresponsible, and definitely not nice at all,’ Wind confirmed.

‘But here’s the thing, Wild,’ said Hyrule. He leaned in and gave his most charming of smiles – the smile he normally reserved for whatever innocent kindling he was about to set ablaze. ‘Aren’t you a little bit,’ he continued, ‘tired of being nice?’

Wild stared at him. Hyrule stared politely back, smile never budging.

Wild reached for his Sheikah Slate.

Zelda hovered thoughtfully before the cake display, gaze flickering from option to option. There were a few that she discarded quickly enough: the shop’s rather sad, lumpy carrot cake being the first, the even more pitiful hydromelon cake an easy second, and rounding out the trifecta of “definitely not” was whatever constituted a “Princess Zelda cake” (why was that a thing, and why was it covered in marzipan; did she need to murder someone?). The more promising options included a wildberry cheesecake, a lemon and strawberry chiffon cake and a honey and cream crêpe cake. Or, perhaps, Zelda pondered: were those choices a little too biased towards her own tastes? She cast a sceptical eye over the odd pink and white mousse cake that was apparently made out of voltfruit. Next to it was an even less appealing purple monstrosity she couldn’t even begin to guess at. To the far end, tucked away in its own special cabinet, was some foul looking and likely foul smelling form of biohazard made from durians. Wild would probably eat it. Wild might even enjoy it. In fact, Wild would probably eat and probably enjoy most of the items the bakery sold.

Zelda sighed. ‘Why must you be so hard to shop for?’ she muttered.

It was at that moment that the Sheikah Slate chimed against her hip. Without thinking too deeply about it, Zelda accepted the call. She blinked with surprise upon seeing the caller. ‘Wild?’

‘Yeah, it’s me,’ Wild answered. Instead of showing his face, the Sheikah Slate was tilted downwards at an angle, displaying reddish cliffs, a long rope bridge over water and a few hints of the ruined fortress wall that marked the edge of the Great Plateau. Zelda frowned at the sight: wasn’t that Digdogg Suspension Bridge?

‘I was hoping you could pass on a message to Time and the others,’ Wild continued. ‘Can they hear me now?’

‘Oh! Uhh… n-not right now, but I’ll be heading back soon,’ Zelda stammered.

‘Taking a shit, huh?’ Wild said philosophically. ‘Alright. Well, when you get back, can you let them know that Sky and Wind are with me and ’Rule, and that the whole pit trap clean up thing is taking a bit longer than expected, so don’t freak out if you can’t find us.’

‘Yeah, turns out we forgot about a bunch of pit traps on the southern side of the map,’ Wind’s voice added smoothly.

Zelda raised a brow. ‘So why are you in the north-west of the Great Plateau, then?’

‘I – what? You mean the south-east?’ Wild said unconvincingly.

‘Wild, you video called me,’ Zelda informed him.

‘I did what now?’

‘Video call. It means I can both hear and see through your slate.’

‘Shit. Really?’ The display whirled briefly, landing on two familiar eyes shoved far too close to the camera lens. The viewpoint withdrew, revealing the rest of Wild’s frowning face. ‘Hey, isn’t that the Gerudo Town cake shop?’ he asked.

‘No!’ said Zelda quickly.

‘Well, ok, but it sure looks like the Gerudo Town cake shop,’ Wild remarked. ‘And, y’know, on the off chance that it is: tell Chef Rena that her shitty excuse for a monster cake needs more monster essence and less sugar. She thinks she’s being very clever and economical but I can fucking taste the skimping.’

Zelda silently praised her own wisdom in swiftly moving the conversation to a point (hopefully) beyond the shopkeeper’s hearing range. ‘Wild, why did you really contact me?’ she asked sternly. ‘Are you up to shenanigans?’

‘Are you up to shenanigans, Your Highness?’ Wild retorted.

‘Well, for the record,’ Zelda replied evenly, ‘my theoretical shenanigans do not involve any theoretical threat of grievous bodily harm.’

‘Well, for the record: my theoretical shenanigans are…’ Wild paused to think, before concluding gamely, ‘probably also fine.’

Zelda could feel a Wild-shaped headache coming on. ‘Alright, my dearest hero and most honourable knight,’ she hissed. ‘If I promise not to rat you out, will you at least tell me what you’re up to?’

Wild glanced briefly at his companions, then back to Zelda. ‘If you promise not to rat me out and if you tell me what shenanigans you’re up to, then sure,’ he bargained.

‘Wild, no!’ Wind protested at the same time Zelda replied, ‘Deal.’

‘You go first then,’ Wild demanded.

‘No you go first!’ Zelda shot back.

They sized each other up through the Sheikah Slate’s display. ‘Fine,’ said Wild. ‘What if we both say it at the same time? Count of three?’

Zelda nodded curtly. ‘Three… two… one…

‘Loser says what,’ she said quickly.

‘Fighting a hinox,’ Wild stated in parallel.

‘WHAT?!’ Zelda yelped. From behind the counter, Rena cast her a dirty look.

‘Wow,’ said Wild. ‘You cheated, and yet you still lost. I’m not even mad; that was artful. Practically poetry.’

‘I look away for five seconds, and you pick a fight with a hinox,’ Zelda fumed.

‘And I look away for five seconds and you go cheat on me with other bakers. Sheesh. As if they’ll ever approach my level.’

‘Fudge you and fudge your level, I’m buying you a cake, Wild,’ Zelda snapped. ‘So, no, you can’t bake it yourself.’

‘Oh!’ said Wild, eyes widening. ‘R-really? It’s for me?’

Whoops. ‘Fine. Yes, those are my “shenanigans”,’ she retorted. ‘I am buying cake and I am planning a nice surprise for you, and you’d better stay away from the stable for at least another hour while I prepare it. Alright?! Or, you know what, how about if you just wait for me to call you? And you’d better have the decency to at least act surprised. And – and! – you’d better not get yourself killed again, especially not permanently, because if you do then I’ll hunt down your shade in whatever netherworld it inhabits and find some way, however impractical, to double murder you. Or maybe triple murder you. That’s how infuriated I’ll be. Infuriated enough to commit quadruple murder. Got it?!’ Wild responded with a blank-faced look, which she decided to interpret as agreement. ‘And what sort of cake do you want anyway, you insufferable gremlin?!’

‘W-well…’ Wild paused to pull himself back together. ‘I, uh… heh. I hear Rena makes a pretty great Princess Zelda cake.’

Zelda made a face. ‘Seriously?!’

‘C’mon, you know me: I’ll eat whatever. Just pick something you’d enjoy.’

‘Wild, that is beside the point. Can’t you think of yourself and your own tastes for one gosh danged –’

‘Shoot, is that a responsible adult I hear?’ said Wild, head suddenly turning away from the slate. ‘I’d better go. Chat later, Your Highness. Uh… Z-Zel. BYE!’

‘Wild –’

The call disconnected, leaving Zelda staring at a blank screen.

‘Did he just call me “Zel”?’ she wondered aloud.

‘Wild? Hyrule? Oh – Wind and Sky? What’s going on?’ Twilight called. ‘What are you all looking at?’

‘Shit, what’s the plan?’ Wild hissed to the others.

‘Ditch on the count of three?’ Wind suggested.

‘…Seriously?’

Sky gave a quick thumbs up. ‘Three,’ he began.

‘Two,’ added Hyrule.

Wild bid a silent farewell to the last remnants of his sanity. ‘One.’

Twilight’s expression creased with concern. ‘Hold on, what are you –?’

‘NOW!’ yelled Wind.

With a matching array of acrobatic backflips and amiable middle finger flips, the four heroes jumped from the sheer edge of the Great Plateau.

Twilight blinked once. He blinked twice. He took a deep breath.

‘WHAT THE ACTUAL F–?!’

It was fine, Zelda concluded. Everything was completely, utterly fine. She clipped the Sheikah Slate back to her hip and returned to the cake shop counter.

Wild was with friends, for once. Powerful friends. Friends who would, from all she had seen so far, almost certainly take much better care of Wild than Wild tended to take of Wild. Furthermore, the odds were in their favour: four chosen heroes against the one enemy Wild had faced alone on multiple occasions in the past.

(Don’t think of all the broken bones from those past occasions. Don’t think of all the near misses. Definitely don’t think of fairies or fairy tonics or Mipha’s Grace. Absolutely don’t think of pooling blood or dulling eyes or that choking sound Wild made when –)

Cake, Zelda reminded herself severely. It was time to buy a cake.

She sighed.

Wild hadn’t been particularly helpful with informing her shopping list, but he wasn’t wrong: she did know him. With that being the case, there was really only one possible answer, wasn’t there?

‘Excuse me. Rena, right?’ she began tiredly. ‘One of everything, if you would.’

Sky touched down first, followed, a few moments later, by a screaming Wind and a grinning Wild. A fairy fluttered after, alighting gently on the ground and transforming into the crouched figure of Hyrule.

‘Fuck. That was scarier than I expected,’ Wind wheezed. Wild patted him sympathetically on the back.

Sky cast a speculative glance up the cliffs, where he could still make out a few faint echoes of distant expletives. ‘You think that might end up being an issue for our future selves?’

Hyrule shrugged. ‘Well, seeing as how none of the others can get down here on their own… he’ll have plenty of time to cool down, I think.’

‘True,’ Sky allowed. On the off chance that Twilight could still see them, he gave a short wave and a thumbs up before turning resolutely from the scene of the crime.

‘Sweet! I’ll go handle the wizzrobe then,’ a beaming Wild informed them. It was the only warning he provided prior to drawing his bow and running off cackling.

Sky watched with mild trepidation. ‘Wild seems… cheerful,’ he commented.

‘Mission accomplished,’ a rather smug Hyrule announced.

‘Yes, I suppose, but do you think we might have just replaced one problem with another?’

‘Nope,’ Wind said decisively. ‘’C’mon, let’s go!’ He dashed off after Wild, yelling, ‘Save some for the rest of us!’

Sky shrugged. ‘Guess that’s that then.’

Hyrule didn’t seem to hear, possibly because Hyrule had already left. Sky followed shortly after.

Chapter Text

Wild moved rather quickly, as it turned out.

By the time Sky had managed to huff and puff his way to the battlefield, the other hero had already single-handedly dealt with the solitary wizzrobe and was halfway through shooting down a handful of bow-wielding bokoblins, leaving only a trio of moblins to be easily overwhelmed by the full quartet of fighters.

‘None of them were infected,’ Sky commented at last, dutifully wiping the Master Sword down with a cloth and wincing slightly at the sight of Wild shoving his own bloodstained weapon straight back into the sheath.

Wild shrugged. ‘Aside from the one from the other night, I haven’t actually run into any infected monsters,’ he explained. ‘Maybe it hasn’t spread that far yet?’

‘Flora seemed to think it had,’ Sky pointed out. ‘She mentioned that monsters had been increasing in both number and strength recently, all across Hyrule.’

Wild hummed unhappily. ‘Are you sure the two of you were talking about the same thing?’

‘What do you mean?’ Hyrule asked curiously.

Wild bit his lip, thoughtfully surveying the fallen moblins. ‘That whole black blood thing is supposed to mean a major increase in strength, right?’ he said. ‘If the bokoblin from the other night was any indication, I think it’d be more noticeable and more worrisome than what Zelda was describing. Sure, I probably could’ve been more careful, and sure, I’m not necessarily the greatest of fighters at the best of times, but that thing kicked my arse, and blue bokoblins are supposed to be among the weakest of the Calamity’s minions. If monsters like that – or worse – were appearing all over Hyrule, there’s no way the Princess would’ve been so casual about it.

‘On the other hand… well, this is all happening at the same time the Blood Moon reappeared, right? One hundred years ago, increasing monster numbers and potency was one of the signs of the Calamity’s rebirth. It makes sense for the “unusual monster activity” that Zelda mentioned to be happening now. The infection is the part that’s out of place here.’

‘But if that’s the case…’ Hyrule trailed off, a distant, grim expression on his face. He shook his head. ‘Never mind. It is an interesting theory.’

Sky frowned. ‘Hyrule, what –?’

‘Well, theories exist to be tested,’ Wild replied absently. ‘I should probably grab a sample for Zelda.’

‘Good idea,’ Hyrule agreed.

Sky watched as Wild started pulling items from his slate: some paper, a pen, a vial, some twine, a dagger –

‘Erm… tell me when you’re done, will you?’ Sky requested meekly as Wild raised the dagger and moved in to commence whatever activities were involved in sample collection.

‘Want me to commentate?’ Wind offered, scoffing when Sky swiftly gripped him in a firm headlock and covered his twelve-year-old eyes.

After a moment, Hyrule spoke up. ‘Wild,’ he began, ‘when you say your monsters are tied to Ganon… how do they normally behave? Or what are their goals? What does it mean for you if they increase in strength?’

Sky heard a soft, vaguely unpleasant wet tearing sound. ‘Hmm… well, they behave like wild animals, I suppose?’ Wild replied distractedly. ‘Perhaps slightly above that, but not really to the point of having goals – at least not long-term ones. Even the Calamity itself is… inscrutable. Not that it’s stupid, more that its cleverness is somehow different. Monsters are supposedly tied to its will, though I think that’s more on an instinctive level rather than any kind of direct control. They attack anyone who comes close, and if no one’s nearby, then they focus mainly on hunting and foraging, mostly sticking to their territories unless lured out by something or someone.

‘If it’s only a small increase in strength and numbers… well, this might seem a little callous, but not much will change immediately.’ In a quieter tone, he added, ‘I mean, it’s not as if the people of Hyrule just sat around for a century, waiting for a hero who may or may not appear. They’re smart, they’re strong and they know the land. When I step in to help a traveller defend themself, they’re grateful – generally – but they’re also… surprised. They’re used to the idea that no one will help. Of course, there are plenty of daredevils and fools – and sometimes kids who think they’re being very clever and brave – but there are also plenty of smart, capable people who know their world and know their limits. Better than I ever did, really.

‘The Blood Moon… it reverses a lot of progress, but it also means that people will be on high alert. So, in a way, it could be a good thing.’ He sighed. ‘I’d been trying for some time to at least clear out the major roads, but maybe all that really did was get people to let their guards down. I should’ve known better.’

There was a long moment of silence before Wild spoke again. ‘I’m done, by the way, Sky,’ he said in a louder tone. ‘You and Wind can look now.’

Sky turned and saw Wild standing upright, with (Sky was relieved to note) no visual clues as to what he’d spent the past few minutes doing. ‘Shall we, then?’ Wild invited, nodding his head in the direction of the slumbering hinox.

‘You’re incredible, you know, Wild?’ Hyrule said abruptly.

Wild jolted. ‘Me?’

Hyrule smiled gently. ‘You. You’re clever, you’re perceptive, you’re forward-thinking and you’re independent. I can figure out what to do on a day-to-day basis, but as for the big picture stuff? I’ve always been guided on that. It’s never… it’s never really been up to me. Not to that extent. I don’t know where I’d even start. So, yes: I think you’re incredible.’

‘I –’ Wild’s eyes flickered uncertainly from Hyrule to Sky to Wind, as if waiting for someone to dispute the statement. ‘I’m not really… I mean, I had a lot of guidance too, you know? It’s not like I just… that’s… uhh… where did that even come from?’

Sky wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry at Wild’s clear discomfort. He patted the younger hero on the shoulder and pencilled in a quick mental reminder for some further positive reinforcement in future. Hyrule too, for that matter. In fact, forget that: positive reinforcement for the entire group and their pet wolf. They’d earned it.

(What was it with his reincarnations and their self-esteem issues, anyway? Was this yet another thing that could’ve been avoided if he’d actually dealt with Demise properly the first time around?)

‘We should p-probably deal with that hinox now,’ a furiously blushing Wild said hastily, cutting through both Sky’s silent contemplations and whatever wholesome and/or self-deprecating things Hyrule had continued to verbalise in parallel. ‘Who wants to lead, anyway?’ Wild added.

‘Obviously you,’ Wind replied instantly, familiar shit-eating grin stretching across his face.

‘Seconded,’ Hyrule agreed.

‘Thirded,’ Sky confirmed. ‘Your world, your monster, Wild. You clearly know your way around these parts, and you clearly know what you’re doing. It makes sense for you to lead.’

Overruled and seemingly rather befuddled by the entire situation, Wild stared at them for a moment. ‘Uhh… ok?’ he said hesitantly. He chewed his lip, looking towards the suspension bridge. ‘Quietly, then. Let’s surround it – one on each limb. Strike when I give the signal, then immediately pull back and switch to range weapons. Rinse and repeat, take out the limbs and then aim for the vitals. If, uh… that’s ok?’

‘You’re the boss,’ Wind pointed out.

Wild grimaced but didn’t argue, which Sky decided to interpret as progress. ‘Follow me, then,’ he called quietly as he took a determined step on to the suspension bridge, followed by another. His three companions fell into line behind him.

Wild wasn’t exactly sure how his life had reached the point of leading a train of legendary heroes across a suspension bridge and into battle with a hinox, but he wasn’t necessarily complaining. He was merely quietly panicking a little, perhaps, while trying to mentally gauge the difference between a show of trust, a show of indifference, or some new and exciting form of hazing ritual.

The end of the bridge came far too soon. Wild silently directed each hero into place: Sky to the left arm, Hyrule to the right, Wind beside Wild at the feet. He froze briefly, anxiety spiking, as the hinox snorted in its sleep. It settled easily enough, and Wild breathed a soundless sigh of relief. With that settled, he glanced from side to side, running the usual quick inventory of his surroundings.

The islet had never been particularly large, but it felt even smaller than usual with three extra people to fill it. They should still have enough room to manoeuvre, but it would be tight. His gaze fell to the hinox’s legs, taking note of the wooden greave protecting the limb closest to him: best to deal with that first, and if he was quick enough then he might be able to manage a second attack at the joint before it started flailing too badly. Decision made, Wild silently exchanged his claymore for a flamesword.

Nothing else seemed particularly out of place, and the routine scan had already eaten up more time than Wild preferred to chance. He waved his hand for attention, three fingers held high, then dipped one finger, followed by another…

‘NOW!’ he yelled.

Four weapons slashed in unison. The hinox roared in pain.

The makeshift greave fell to pieces, cut ties flaring up and burning the hinox’s exposed leg. Wild swiftly slashed once more and narrowly dodged the resulting kick as he flipped backwards and turned to run, clumsily sheathing his sword and reaching for his bow as he went. Halfway between the hinox and the edge of the islet, he swung around and set his feet, bow raised and free hand reaching for his quiver.

He paused.

The hinox was already on its feet, gaze swinging from side to side. The leg Wild had struck dragged lightly along the ground, but the other appeared uninjured. Sky stood a dangerously short range back from the hinox, panting lightly and staring at the sword in his hand. The blade had left only a shallow wound on the hinox’s shoulder, already quickly closing. On the other side, Hyrule at least had landed a solid hit, though there was an odd – somewhat concerning – clumsiness to how he was drawing his bow. Was he injured?

Wind skidded to a stop beside Wild. ‘What the fuck?’ he expelled. ‘Why is it so tough?!’

‘It’s a hinox,’ Wild stated distractedly. ‘I said they were tough, didn’t I?’ His eyes scanned once more over their foe and then darted, with some surprise, to the bloodied blade Wind carried, realising that the younger hero must have landed a hit after all, if not a particularly deep one. ‘Not black-blooded at least,’ Wild remarked absently.

At that moment, the hinox turned away from them and towards Hyrule, who tensed, drew back the string…

…And missed by a mile.

Wild blinked. That… had not been a particularly difficult shot?

Come to think of it, wasn’t Hyrule holding the bow incorrectly? His fingers were jammed in the arrow window; how was he even shooting it like that?! It was almost impressive.

‘Fuck,’ Wind summarised. ‘I forgot – ’Rule can’t shoot for shit.’ Turning his head, Wild saw his companion lining up his own shot. Wild hastened to do the same, but Sky was faster: a burst of light struck the back of the hinox’s head, winning a flinch and a grunt of annoyance. As the creature turned to face the new threat, Wind and Wild released their arrows: the former scraped past the monster’s cheek while the latter thudded squarely into their foe’s gigantic eye. The hinox roared and fell backwards, squirming and clutching at the wound.

‘NOW!’ yelled Wild. The four heroes closed in and raised their swords to attack.

Wild let his attention stray as he moved through the familiar motions. Something was wrong, he realised. He took stock once again: Hyrule had landed a perfect hit with his sword but then wielded his bow as if he’d never even touched one before. Sky and Wind had both struggled to pierce the hinox’s flesh, Sky with slightly more success but Wind with far better reaction speed. Knowing what he did, Wild suspected the difference was less about strength and more about accurate aim at the weaker parts of the hinox’s hide. And then there was Wild himself: despite taking the time to risk an extra attack, Wild had moved further and switched weapons faster than all three others. Was it merely that he was more experienced with this type of enemy, or was something else at play?

He froze. ‘I’m a fucking idiot,’ he breathed.

What was “at play” was merely a different skillset. Why had he assumed the others would fight exactly the same way he did?

Distantly, Wild heard one of his companions calling to him, but the scene was already blurring over before him, another swiftly taking its place.

He’d been walking through Hyrule Castle when he overheard two familiar voices from ahead, midway through some sort of argument – not a particularly rare event when one of those voices happened to belong to Revali, of course.

‘Strength isn’t everything, you blundering oaf,’ the Rito champion snapped. ‘Just because I can’t lift that nonsense block of stone you call a sword doesn’t make me any less of a warrior. Save the lecture for when you learn to out-shoot me.’

Daruk roared with laughter. ‘Hah! You think these big ol’ fingers of mine could ever handle a bow? I’ll accept that defeat any day. All I’m saying is that if you wanna learn to use a sword, you’d be better off asking the little guy rather than me.’

‘Then never mind. Forget I asked!’

A voice travelled slowly to Link, muffled as if heard from deep underwater. ‘Wild!’

‘Sorry hatchling, didn’t mean to ruffle any feathers,’ Daruk chortled. ‘You could try to get along, y’know? He likes you a lot. I reckon he’d be pleased as punch to give you a few pointers. Oh! In fact, speak of the devil –’

‘Wild!’ Wind shouted again, finally jolting him free from the memory. He had just enough time to blink his vision clear before he registered the gigantic hand flailing in his direction. He flinched and braced himself, forgetting too late that he no longer had access to Daruk’s powerful shield. A small figure swerved in front and raised its arms, hands clasped around elbows. Purple light flared up and the hinox jolted backwards with a grunt of surprise.

Wild froze. ‘Daruk?’ he whispered.

The crack of thunder sliced through the air. ‘Get him out of here, Wind,’ said Urbosa, turning back to regard him with a serious gaze.

Hyrule, not Urbosa. Wind, not Daruk. Wild did his best to force his mind back into the present moment. Before he could quite manage it, the twelve-year-old Hero of Winds slung Wild over his shoulder and took off running as if he weighed no more than a bag of apples.

‘I – what?’ Wild sputtered.

‘Huh? Wild? You with me?’ Wind called. ‘You just blanked out for a moment there.’

‘I’m fine,’ Wild said tightly. ‘Let me down.’

Wind set him carefully on his feet near the beginning of the suspension bridge. Sky and Hyrule reached them a moment later, taking up guard positions on either side. The hinox itself continued to shudder and flail aimlessly in place, muscles twitching from residual shocks.

‘Where are you injured, Wild?’ Hyrule asked rapidly.

‘I’m not,’ he replied shakily.

‘We don’t have time for this,’ Hyrule warned. ‘How bad is it? Should we flee?’

‘I’m fine,’ Wild snapped. ‘I’ll explain later.’ He took in a breath and steeled himself. ‘Change of plan,’ he instructed. ‘Hyrule, are you able to do that spell again? The one with the lightning?’

Hyrule grimaced. ‘Not unless I really have to.’ Wild noted his pale face and breathless voice and nodded to himself.

‘Ok,’ said Wild. ‘Then focus on the melee range instead. I’ll cover you from back here – attack whenever you see a good opportunity. Drink these.’ He thrust an enduring elixir at Hyrule and a mighty elixir at Sky. ‘Wind, you’re with me,’ he added, passing over a hasty elixir. ‘Is your shield thing still usable?’

‘My magic armour? Sure; I can probably handle another few hits,’ Wind replied.

‘Good. Once the other two attack, I want you to draw its attention and then run back to me,’ Wild told him. A ghost of a smile touched his lips. ‘Formation C.’

Wind let out a surprised laugh. ‘You got it!’

Sky threw a mildly concerned look in his direction. ‘What exactly is Formation –?’

‘It’s getting back up,’ Hyrule interrupted.

‘I’ll stun it. Go!’ Wild yelled.

Without argument, the three swiftly downed the elixirs and ran towards the hinox, Wind in the middle and Hyrule and Sky to each side. As they moved, Wild pulled up the Stasis Rune overlay on his slate, lined up the reticule and tapped to freeze the monster in place.

Stasis wasn’t particularly effective on hinoxes: it didn’t last long, and it took forever to recharge, but it bought enough time for Hyrule and Sky to land several solid hits on the frozen monster, staggering it once more. It snarled and snapped from side to side, attention caught between the two warriors. In that moment, Wind rushed forward, oversized hammer in hands. ‘Oi, fucker!’ he yelled gleefully as he slammed the weapon down hard on the hinox’s toenail.

Wild’s lips quirked up. ‘That works,’ he commented quietly. For his part, he swiftly launched two arrows at the hinox’s face, allowing Hyrule to take another opportunistic swipe at the hinox’s ribs, followed by Sky from the other side.

‘You gotta show me where to buy those potions. I’m stocking up,’ Wind informed Wild as he dashed closer, pulling a thin, silvery wand from his belt.

‘I’ll give you the recipe,’ Wild promised.

Wind hummed interestedly, but left it there for the moment. His eyes closed, wand moving dreamily through the air. As he watched, a light breeze caressed Wild’s face, bringing with it a sweet scent and the faint echoes of distant music. Out of the corner of his eye, Wild saw Sky jump back, sword pointed up to the heavens.

The wind surged upwards with sudden violence, sweeping Wild off his feet. He yelled with surprise, tumbling in place for a brief moment before recovering, reaching for his bow and reading a shot.

Time slowed to a crawl. Wild aimed and released his first arrow and then reached for a second.

His eyes always seemed to move faster than the rest of him in this sort of situation. Aiming his arrows at such a large target was second nature, so he let his gaze briefly wander over the rest of the scene.

Wind floated beside him, held aloft by his korok leaf. His posture and broad grin screamed a reckless confidence that the piercing stare in Wild’s direction didn’t quite sell.

The second arrow met its mark beside the first. Wild notched a third.

Hyrule was crouched in a defensive posture, eyes fixed on his foe. Truly, for such a powerful fighter, the Hero of Hyrule fought with remarkable caution. No wonder he remained uninjured despite such close contact with his foe.

The third arrow joined its siblings. In the same moment, a column of light flared up towards the other side of the hinox. Wild glanced curiously towards Sky’s location and the fourth arrow slipped through his fingers, lost to the wind and to gravity.

Time returned to its normal pace.

Wild fell several metres and opened his paraglider mere moments before he hit the ground. A second or two later, Wind gave a shout of triumph, almost drowned out by the roar of the hinox. The monster tumbled to the ground, iron boots pressed to its neck and violet blood streaming from a deep stab wound as Wind rolled free. Wild watched dumbly as Sky took a daring leap up the hinox’s shoulder, Master Sword gleaming a bright blue – brighter than Wild had ever seen it. As the blade descended, divine light seemed to stretch and distort the blade from the ancient, tired broadsword Wild knew into a true weapon of the gods – a weapon that fit perfectly in the hands of a true hero.

The breath caught in Wild’s throat. The hinox’s head rolled from its shoulders.

Sky breathed a sigh of relief as the hinox finally stilled. He flicked blood off the Master Sword, wiped it down for good measure, then sheathed it and dropped down to join his companions.

‘Show off,’ Wind accused lightly, as if he himself hadn’t just ridden a cyclone, stomped a giant monster to the ground and nearly fallen off the islet on the dismount. Feeling generous, Sky gently poked his forehead and left it at that, turning instead to scan each companion in turn. ‘No injuries?’ he asked.

Wind and Hyrule were quick to shake their heads, but Wild merely continued to gaze off into the distance with a blank expression on his face. ‘Wild?’ Sky prompted.

Wild started at the sound of his new name. ‘I – yes? Oh. Injuries? No, I’m fine.’ With a startled laugh, he added, ‘Wow, in fact, that’s… yeah, that hinox normally gives me at least a bruise or two. Not this time, apparently.’

Hyrule gave him a sceptical once over. Sky subtly did the same. Wild looked pale and shaken, but he seemed steady enough on his feet.

‘What happened earlier, if you don’t mind me asking?’ Sky queried. ‘You froze up. If it wasn’t an injury…’ He trailed off, brows knitting in concern.

The way Wild had stilled so suddenly was hardly unfamiliar: Sky had seen similar reactions far too many times among his companions. The wrong word or phrase dropped carelessly from a well-meaning tongue, the face and tone of one particularly aggressive shopkeeper, the time a portal had dropped them directly into water… even the sight of Sky’s own beloved loftwing had prompted a similar response on their latest visit to his homeland. This was the first time it had occurred during a battle, at least, but perhaps it had only ever been a matter of time.

‘Do you want to talk about it?’ he asked gently.

For a moment, it seemed like Wild was about to try to brush it off. The words cut off the moment he opened his mouth, and the faux smile died mid-formation. ‘Memory,’ Wild explained quietly. ‘From the, uh… from the before time. The stuff I forgot from back then comes back to me occasionally. Sometimes very suddenly, and at those times I tend to freeze up and lose track of what’s around me, either until the memory finishes playing out or something shocks me out of it. Doesn’t usually happen during a battle. I… sorry. Probably should’ve warned you.’

‘Doesn’t usually – so it’s happened during battle before?!’ a horrified Sky asked. It was one thing to freeze up like that while among friends, quite another to imagine Wild vulnerable and alone with vicious monsters closing in for the kill.

Wild’s expression shuttered. ‘Once or twice. Practically never. And, as you saw, it doesn’t tend to last long,’ he said coolly. ‘I’ve managed this far, haven’t I? If I thought it was a big deal, I would’ve mentioned it earlier. It’s not as if I’m completely incompetent.’

Sky frowned. ‘I never said you were,’ he replied. ‘I don’t think you’re incompetent at all.’

Wild was silent for a long moment. ‘No, you didn’t,’ he agreed at last. ‘Sorry for being so touchy.’ He looked over to the fallen hinox, then back to Sky and the others. ‘You all fought well,’ he added. ‘I’ve never seen a hinox go down that easy.’ He gave a slight smile. ‘You’ve got some crazy magic between you. That’s without even counting all the items Legend had, or that mask I borrowed from Time. Or Twilight’s thing, I guess. I should’ve figured the rest of you had a few extra tricks up your sleeves.’

‘Speak for yourself,’ Wind interjected while Sky silently puzzled over the reference to Twilight’s mysterious “thing”. ‘Those elixirs of yours – you said you’d give me the recipe later. Did you really make them yourself?!’

‘Sure,’ Wild replied confusedly. ‘I can show you sometime. The ingredients can be hard to find, but they’re not overly difficult to brew so long as you measure things correctly and keep a close eye on the temperature of the pot.’

‘You kidding? Everyone around here sucks at cooking,’ Wind complained. ‘I’d just about assumed it was a Hero’s Spirit thing until you came along.’

‘Oh,’ said Wild, eyes flickering downwards. ‘I see. W-well, I have some spares I can pass around if they’re helpful,’ he offered. He fiddled with his slate. ‘The one I gave you was a mid-level speed-boosting elixir. I also have a low-level one and a high-level one – you can have those too. Sky got my last mighty elixir, but I can make more. I have a sneaky elixir too… oh, and a fireproof one, forgot about that. Stamina elixir, enduring elixir, tough elixir – shit, I forgot to take one of those, didn’t I? Huh – that could’ve gone bad. Ah well. Out of hearty elixirs and the ingredients to make them, but…’ He finally looked up. ‘Sorry, I’m rambling, aren’t I?’

‘How long do the effects last, anyway?’ Wind asked curiously.

‘Umm… should be about two hours? Sometimes a little less, sometimes a little more, depending on the specific elixir? Forgot to check, sorry,’ Wild confessed.

‘Two hours, huh?’ Hyrule mused. ‘That reminds me: we finished a bit early, didn’t we?’ He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. ‘Since no one’s hurt… should we keep going? What do you think, Wild?’

Wild glanced uncertainly in the direction indicated, then back to Hyrule. ‘Should just be bokoblins up that way if I remember correctly, though I think there are a few silver and gold ones among them, as well as some that ride horses. Nothing that should pose much of a threat to this group, but it’ll definitely help travellers if we can clear the way. If you, uh… don’t mind, that is?’

‘I’m in,’ Wind chirped.

‘I don’t see why not,’ Sky agreed. He could still feel the effects of Wild’s strange potion humming through his veins, demanding some form of output. Perhaps that should be a little alarming. Sky grinned.

‘Someone else lead,’ Wild suggested quickly. ‘I, uh. Had my turn.’

They looked at each other.

‘Well, as the eldest and as the only adult –’ Sky began.

‘Dibs,’ said Wind. ‘Tough shit, you lily-livered bilge rats: I’m the captain now. Get ready to march.’ He slung his arm around Hyrule’s shoulders as best he could, which may or may not have involved a subtle application of tippy-toes, and began to lead the way over the suspension bridge.

‘Huh,’ said Wild. ‘I guess that works.’

A peaceful silence covered their approach. Sky deliberately allowed space to open between himself and Hyrule, thinking his words through before halting and turning to face Wild.

‘You still don’t feel like you belong, do you?’ he said quietly.

Wild startled. ‘What do you –?’

Sky looked at him sadly. ‘The argument this morning with Time. The way you were so hesitant to ask for help with the hinox. The way you spoke about your freeze reaction just now. Even yesterday, when you joined us for dinner…’ He took a deep breath, and continued, ‘You said that being a hero of courage meant you had to show courage, and that you had to do that in order to win the right to be there. Wild, I want you to understand: you’ve already won that right just as you are. You don’t have to work harder. You don’t have to fight for it. You already belong.’

The breath hissed out from behind Wild’s teeth as he looked away. ‘Based on what?’ he asked bitterly.

‘Based on me believing in you,’ Sky said simply.

Wild’s expression soured. ‘That’s it? Just blind belief? You’ve known me for what, a few days now? Less, if you consider that I ran away from you for most of that time?’

‘Blind belief indeed, I suppose,’ Sky agreed calmly. ‘When things can’t be quantified, you can just as easily choose to doubt as to believe. I believe in you, Wild.’

Wild’s shoulders slouched. ‘Fine. I don’t know what I was expecting. C’mon, let’s go; we’re falling behind the others.’

‘Do you need it to be quantified?’ Sky asked. ‘If so, let’s quantify it.’

Wild froze mid stride. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Wait until we encounter a portal. Then you’ll know,’ Sky told him. ‘Only our group can use them, as far as I’ve been able to tell. The others can confirm.’ He counted on his fingers. ‘Wind’s little sister tried, so did Twilight’s boyfriend. Even Groose – one of my friends – tried it once. None of them could make it through. It’s as if the portals are solid walls to them.’

Wild stared at him. ‘Is… is that… r-really…?’

‘We can’t actually control the portals, mind you,’ Sky continued. ‘We can’t even really predict them with any degree of accuracy. And sometimes, we get shifted without even needing to go through a portal. So, if you don’t want to wait until then, there is a simpler test.’ He pulled the baldric off his shoulder and held it out to Wild, who gave a full body flinch in response. Sky frowned at the sight, but pressed on, ‘Wild, the only ones that can touch the Master Sword are those with the blood of the Goddess or the spirit of the hero. You’ve wielded her yourself too, haven’t you? Flora said as much. Why would your suitability ever be in question?

‘She doesn’t just belong to me, by the way,’ he added. ‘Most of the time while we’re travelling I tend to wield her by default, but there’s no reason why you can’t borrow the sword yourself. Just lend me one of your own weapons in exchange so that I can still fight.’

Wild slowly reached for the hilt, fingers halting mere centimetres away and lingering briefly before dropping to his side.

‘So it doesn’t even matter?’ he asked quietly. ‘My skills don’t matter, my training doesn’t matter, my knowledge and even my personality don’t matter? Even if I work my hardest, that means nothing? All that ever mattered, and all that ever will matter, is whether or not I can pull a hunk of enchanted steel out of the ground without being burned? Is that right?’ His cold, hollow gaze shifted back to Sky. ‘That’s really, really unfair, you know?’ he stated flatly.

Stunned into silence, Sky could do little more than stare as Wild roughly pushed past him, brushing dangerously close to the uneven edge of the old bridge. ‘Hurry up,’ he called harshly. ‘We’re falling behind.’

‘Wild, no, I didn’t mean –’ Sky began belatedly, but his companion gave no sign that he was listening. All that greeted Sky was a faint, distressed hum from the Master Sword and from the ancient spirit that slumbered inside.

Chapter Text

hey

hey zelda

hey your most majestically high princessness

you still off doing shenanigans somewhere?

sorry i missed your call. was busy trying not to die haha.

good news. i succeeded in the whole not dying thing. also good news. i figured out how to send letters. i think. you.ll have to tell me if you actually get this.

bad news. i can.t figure out how to make the big letters or most of the punctuation stuff happen. so you get the dots and the squiggle question dots and the little letters and that.s it.

i did however work out how to send photos.

check this shit out.

[Wretched Bane of My Existence has attached 2 files]

Zelda breathed in. Zelda breathed out. Zelda very calmly pressed the call button and waited for Wild to answer.

‘Why, greetings and salutations, Your –’

‘I said no more monster selfies!’ she snapped.

‘No, see, I remember it quite clearly and what you actually said was, “my dearest Champion, I must respectfully request that you refrain from taking any further photos of yourself riding lynels”. And see that there? It’s not a lynel, and I’m not riding it. Did steal its horse though. Poor thing’s malnourished and dehydrated. I’m taking it back to the stable. The horse, not the bokoblin, that is. Speaking of which: can I come back to the stable now?’

‘Where even are you right now?’ Zelda demanded. ‘Twilight said he lost sight of you over an hour ago.’

‘Huh. He was watching? Well, we went further south, took out a bunch of roaming bokoblins and a monster camp or two. Maybe three, technically? Most of them were the regular variety, but we did run into one that was infected. For various reasons, it kinda ended up being a bit on fire, but I grabbed you a sample of what was left plus some controls from regular monsters. Yes, all properly labelled. And then we got distracted picking zapshrooms, then Hyrule got lost looking for zapshrooms, then I climbed a cliff or two looking for Hyrule looking for zapshrooms and accidentally fought another talus –’

‘I really don’t think you can accidentally fight a talus, Wild,’ Zelda hissed.

‘Well, then I guess the talus accidentally fought me. Long story short: one, I’m fresh out of bomb arrows, and two, when I say “can I go to the stable now”, what I actually mean is “kindly expect my presence at the stable in approximately one hour’s time”.’

Zelda exhaled. ‘Were you injured at all?’ she asked sternly.

‘Nope. None of the others were either. Fancy that.’

‘Fancy that, indeed,’ she said sourly. ‘Fine. Yes. See you in approximately one hour’s time, then. We’re all here now, except for Teba and his companions, since they went looking for you after hearing about how you once again ran off to fight a bunch of monsters –’

‘You promised not to rat me out!’

‘You ratted yourself out when you jumped off a cliff with an audience,’ she deadpanned. ‘Oh, and speaking of which…’ Raising her voice, she called out, ‘Excuse me, everyone –’

Warriors and Legend froze mid-wrestle, Warriors’s arms still locked firmly around Legend’s head to prevent his escape. Time and Four looked over the vacant corner where they sat calmly drinking tea. Twilight had disappeared from the room shortly after their arrival and had not returned, a fact which his friends, Zelda noted, seemed remarkably unconcerned about.

‘Wild finally contacted me,’ she explained. ‘He and the others are making their way back now. They should be here in about an hour.’

‘An hour?!’ Legend exclaimed. ‘Are they all still alive? They better be. I need them alive so that I can kill them.’

‘Yes, they’re all alive and unhurt. Despite all efforts to the contrary,’ Zelda informed him, and, seeing as how misery loved company, she then turned her slate around to display the images she’d received.

Legend’s eyes bulged. ‘What the… why the… why the fuck is he taking photos with monsters?!’

Time approached to give his own appraisal. ‘That’s a pretty nice angle, actually,’ he mused. ‘Don’t tell him I said that.’

‘I heard,’ said Wild.

‘Shit,’ said Time.

‘Whoa – put a rupee in the swear jar, Old Man!’ Wind’s voice crowed from a distance.

Time sighed. ‘This is because of what I said earlier, isn’t it?’ he asked calmly. ‘I promised that I wouldn’t punish Wild for being a reckless moron, therefore you all decided to test that by being reckless morons, and now I can’t even get angry about it and call you a bunch of reckless morons without potentially sabotaging the whole exposure therapy fear ladder situation you have going there. Is that what’s happening right now?’

‘Sure is,’ Wind confirmed. ‘I call it the “find out, fuck around” strategy. Whatcha gonna do about it?’

‘Well –’ Time began.

‘Joke’s on you; I made no such promise,’ Legend snarled, finally escaping from Warriors’s slackened grip and dashing out of the stable, clicking his heels and disappearing in a whirl of dust.

‘Well, I’m going to relax and enjoy a nice cup of tea,’ Time finished, evidently choosing not to acknowledge that interjection, the resulting cursing from Warriors, or Four’s weary “guess I’d better go after him”. Zelda supposed it was par for the course at that point.

‘You’re not hurt. That’s the main thing,’ Time added. ‘And, honestly… taking half the group with you to go and fight monsters is not the most reckless or moronic thing anyone’s done on this adventure. Just try to at least communicate upfront in future?’

There was a brief pause. ‘Yeah. I’ll uh… I’ll keep that in mind,’ Wild replied dully. Zelda frowned – something didn’t seem quite right about that response.

‘And please also try to take less mid-combat pictographs,’ Time appended upon further consideration.

‘Fuck no, I’ll take as many photos as I want,’ Wild announced. ‘And if you think those are dangerous, wait ’til you see the ones Wind took. Later!’

‘Wild –’ Zelda began, prior to having the call cut out on her for the second time that day.

She sighed. ‘Make me a cup as well, would you?’ she called to Time.

‘On it,’ he confirmed.

‘Dear me, you’re looking a little worse for wear,’ Saki fretted. ‘Is that blood? Are you injured?’

‘I’m fine,’ Wild groaned. ‘Just skipped laundry day, that’s all.’ He threw a foul look at Teba. ‘The dirt bath didn’t exactly help.’

‘My apologies, Wild,’ Teba replied calmly. ‘It’s just that you were covered in so much filth that I mistook you for the ground. When was the last time you took a non-dirt bath?’

‘And the last time you slept?’ Harth prompted, indicating towards the bags under Wild’s eyes.

‘Yeah, and have you been drinking enough water?’ the fledgling Rito riding atop Teba’s shoulders chimed in helpfully, winning himself an approving pat on the ankle from his father.

‘I’m fine,’ Wild growled exasperatedly. ‘Honestly, you all act as if I have absolutely no idea how to take care of myself.’ Various dubious glances were exchanged over his head. ‘Oh, come on! Seriously?!’

Sky smiled weakly as he watched the group of Rito fuss over Wild. Wholesome as the scene was, in between fighting several bokoblins and a talus (accidentally), Teba divebombing Wild (presumably out of paternal concern), Legend crash-tackling Teba (due to an unfortunate misunderstanding) and Four crash-tackling Legend (for unknown reasons), it seemed that, for the moment at least, Sky had lost his opportunity to speak with Wild. As if to punctuate the thought, Wolfie took that opportunity to appear, sitting back on his haunches and giving Sky a disappointed gaze that could rival one of Twilight’s. He gulped.

‘Ooh, someone’s in trouble,’ Wind taunted. Wolfie growled at him. ‘What? I’m just a kid. Don’t blame me; blame the responsible adult.’

Wolfie looked pointedly at Teba, then back at Sky, and huffed disbelievingly. He stood and trotted off after the others, though not so quickly that Wind and Sky couldn’t catch up.

‘Fair, I guess,’ said Wind.

Rather miffed, Sky remarked, ‘For an animal, Wolfie really is very clever, isn’t he? Don’t you think his expressions seem almost human at times?’

Wind smirked. ‘They kinda do, don’t they? In fact, don’t you think Wolfie kinda resembles Twilight? Just a little? Like what Twilight might look like if he was a wolf?’

For some reason, Wolfie started to look a little uncomfortable. Sky scrutinised the expression curiously. ‘It’s uncanny,’ he agreed.

‘I wonder why?’ Wind mused.

Sky hummed consideringly. He thought through what he knew of Wolfie, of the increasingly alarmed faces the animal was making and of the interactions he’d seen between Twilight and what Twilight had claimed to be his pet – in fact, come to think of it, had he ever actually…?

‘Well,’ Sky concluded uncertainly, ‘I do remember hearing that pets often take after their owners. Though I actually can’t recall ever seeing Wolfie and Twilight in the same place at the same time, which is a little odd.’

‘Huh,’ said Wind, ‘that really is a little odd, isn’t it?’

Both of them looked contemplatively at the wolf that had never been seen in the same place at the same time as Twilight. Said wolf did not meet their eyes.

‘What if…’ Sky began cautiously. ‘What if Wolfie and Twilight are fighting?’

Wolfie promptly tripped over his own feet.

‘That could be it,’ Wind said thoughtfully. ‘I mean, when you think about it: isn’t Twi a pretty lousy pet owner? Half-assed nickname aside – because, sure, relatable – I’ve never seen him feed Wolfie or play with Wolfie or take him for a walk or anything. Honestly, it seems like Wolfie only ever shows up when we need something from him. Poor little puppy, really. Imagine being that loyal to someone who won’t even leave water and kibble out.’

Sky frowned. ‘That can’t be right, can it? Twilight never really seemed like that kind of person to me… I thought he loved dogs? I’ll ask him about it later,’ he decided.

Wind nodded solemnly. ‘Make sure that you do. And definitely tell me what he says.’

Perhaps sensing the end of that conversation, Wolfie skulked off with his tail between his legs, joining Wild towards the front of the group, where the discussion seemed to have shifted away from Wild’s wellbeing and towards news of monster activity around the Rito’s home town. Wild scratched idly at Wolfie’s neck as he turned his head to respond to a question from Harth.

Sky frowned at the sight. Current marching order aside, he didn’t think he was imagining Wild’s increasingly desperate attempts to avoid him earlier, up to and including a frankly impressive scramble up a cliff. He’d give Wild room if he must, but he dearly hoped they could clear the air sooner rather than later.

For the moment, he supposed, there was nothing to do but watch and wait.

They made surprisingly good time on the return trip – or perhaps it was more accurate to say that there were unexpected speed benefits associated with having several responsible adults, one of which was currently a wolf, available to prevent mushroom-picking-related detours. Whatever the case, the suspension bridge was soon behind them. Wild waved a genial greeting to the self-proclaimed watchman along the way, only for Botrick to scurry off as if a pack of moblins were nipping at his heels. Wild was allowed a brief moment to ponder the strange interaction before Teba prodded his shoulder for attention.

‘I’m going to cover your eyes now,’ he warned. Without waiting for a response, Teba slung a wing around Wild’s head, placing the other around Wild’s shoulders to guide his path.

Wild tried not to squirm: he trusted Teba but that didn’t necessarily mean he was comfortable with the loss of his vision. ‘Why?’ he asked awkwardly.

‘Give it a few minutes and it’ll all make sense,’ was the reply. Someone chuckled at that. Four, maybe? Wild grimaced into the feathers on his face. He supposed he could hold on for a few minutes, if he had to.

Teba guided him patiently, refusing to comment on the way Wild’s feet dragged in response to his blindness. Wild did his best to focus on sounds instead: he could hear a surprising number of voices up ahead, hushed enough that he couldn’t quite make out the words. Footsteps soon thudded closer, followed by what he guessed to be Warriors’s voice: ‘Hey everyone! Hey Legend, way to leave me in the dust, and did I mention you’re a fucking moron?’ Wild heard a rustling sound, a thud and several curses from the target of his wrath. ‘Whoa – what the…? I didn’t push you that hard! You ok?’

‘Sheesh – I’m fucking fine!’ Legend snapped breathlessly. ‘My joints just get cranky with the boots sometimes.’

‘He’s been wincing the whole way back,’ Hyrule said flatly. ‘Wars, help me win this argument.’

‘Fuck you too, ’Rule, I do not have old-man-itis,’ Legend growled. ‘I’m only nineteen; I refuse.’

‘Shit – since when do you talk to ’Rule like that? You must be in pain. Let’s go see if the stablefolk have something to help with that.’

‘I’m fine.’

‘Don’t be stubborn, vet,’ Warriors chided.

A new voice called, ‘There are chairs over that way if you’d like to sit down for a bit? Probably better than the ground.’

‘Oh, Twi – you’re back,’ someone said.

‘Sure am. Also: why does Four have a horse?’

‘Wild says his name is Sir Horsington. He’s mine now. At least until we switch, that is.’

‘That doesn’t explain anything!’

It was getting difficult indeed to distinguish individual voices. Wild prodded impatiently at the wing covering his eyes. ‘Can I look now?’ he asked.

‘Almost,’ Teba informed him, adding, ‘Flora? He’s here. Are we ready?’ when they finally stopped walking. Wild noted the use of Zelda’s pseudonym; they must have an audience. He fidgeted restlessly as he heard someone approach.

‘Ready. I’ll count us down,’ Zelda’s voice confirmed. ‘Now, do be careful: he can be a little jumpy. And Wild? Kindly try not to shank anyone. Everyone: your attention please!’ Five quick chimes sounded – was that a spoon tapping against a glass, Wild wondered bemusedly? The archaic gesture inexplicably worked, quiet chatter dissolving abruptly into silence.

‘On the count of three!’ Zelda called. ‘Three… two… one…’

The hands withdrew from his eyes and a chorus boomed, ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WILD!’

‘FUCK!’ he immediately yelled in response, accidentally elbowing Teba to the ground as he scrambled for his sword. He halted with his hand on the hilt, stunned by the scene laid out before him.

The Outskirt Stable was not a large place. Certainly, it had grown remarkably quickly over the few months since the banishment of the Calamity, but even in the best of times it rarely saw much foot traffic. It made no sense at all for such a crowd to be gathered in such a place.

Wild scanned the area, taking in the sight of eight legendary heroes, one legendary princess, the four Rito who had accompanied him back plus Kass and Fyson, at least two dozen Hylians including the regular stablefolk, a retinue of ten Zoras, only half of which Wild actually recognised, two Goron merchants and five Gerudo.

Beyond the crowd, he could see several banquet tables, one heaped with boxes and parcels, the others with food. Above it all, a banner hung from the stable, cheerfully echoing the birthday greeting in large yellow letters.

Wild blinked. ‘What?’

In a rush, Zelda explained, ‘Alright, so I know you don’t like big parties, but in my defence: I had absolutely no idea that word would spread this quickly, let alone that everyone would actually arrive this quickly, it’s just that once Teba provided his update a few days ago, I may have told Prince Sidon that we finally found you – he was worried, you know – and he might have told a few people – more than a few people, if we’re honest – and Teba maybe also told a few people – fewer than Sidon, but still a rather respectable number – and, as it turns out, the stable system is really rather efficient when it comes to passing on news, so although we technically only made the final decision this morning, by the time we arrived at the stable –’

‘I have a birthday?’ Wild said confusedly.

Zelda halted mid-ramble. ‘Well. Yes, you do. And we’re celebrating it.’ She smiled fondly. ‘A few months late, unfortunately, but it took a while for us to locate the right set of birth records, and then you skipped town on my first attempt to organise something for you.’

‘Huh,’ said Wild. He scanned over the scene again, taking in the banner, the gifts and the veritable horde of well-wishers. ‘Huh,’ he repeated.

Countless questions rolled around in his head, covering everything from the why to the when to the how. He decided to start with the most important one: ‘So where’s that cake I was promised, then?’

Zelda rolled her eyes and jerked a thumb over her shoulder towards a banquet table piled high with not one cake, not two cakes, not five or six cakes, but –

Wild sucked in a reverent gasp. ‘Oh, fuck yeah.’

What followed was a truly overwhelming number of greetings and felicitations, a truly obscene number of gifts, a lunch that even Wild would grudgingly admit surpassed his own cooking, a call via Zelda’s Sheikah Slate from a deeply penitent Zora prince to repeatedly explain “how amazing you are and how apologetic I am for my absence on such a momentous occasion” and a deeply embarrassing and auditorily painful rendition of the birthday song – with credit to Kass for trying (unsuccessfully) to keep more than fifty people in key and to Wind for trying (unsuccessfully) to keep more than fifty people in time.

Questionable singing notwithstanding, Wild had to admit: he was warming up to the idea of large parties thrown in his own questionable honour. There was only one blemish upon the otherwise perfect event.

‘This is the worst. This is the pits,’ he stated calmly. ‘This is the most upsetting, most disappointing, most infuriating thing I have ever had the misfortune of bearing witness to.’ With a deep scowl carved into his features, Wild took another resentful bite of the so-called “hydromelon cake”.

Zelda eyed him sceptically. ‘So why are you eating it, then?’

Promptly, Wild swallowed his mouthful of melon (literally just melon, topped with cream cheese and then decorated with more melon. Why?) and responded, ‘Spite, primarily. And because I feel compelled to destroy this foul creation with my own digestive system, lest the potential for its continued existence forever haunt my dreams.’

Zelda’s lips quirked upwards. ‘Understandable. Well, what about the other ones? Pass or fail from Sir Connoisseur?’ she asked.

‘Pass,’ he confirmed grudgingly. ‘Rena’s definitely improved her monster cake. Or maybe the previous one was a bad batch. Also, the… uh… the cheesecake’s pretty good. And the voltfruit mousse. And everything, really. ’Cept the melon thing. And maybe also the swift violet teacake, not a fan; the honey’s a weird touch, should’ve stuck with just sugar. I’ll tell Rena next time.’

‘You know, I was at least half joking when I bought you ten different cakes,’ Zelda remarked.

‘Well, I hope the other half will accept my gratitude,’ Wild replied. In a mumble, he added, ‘You didn’t have to do any of this, you know?’

‘I wanted to,’ Zelda replied primly. ‘It’s not every day your best friend turns seventeen.’

‘A hundred and seventeen.’

Zelda rolled her eyes. ‘Indeed. Officially old enough to climb Mount Lanayru, should you so wish.’ She stared off into the distance, idly prodding her fork into the slice of cheesecake on her own plate.

Hesitantly, Wild reached out for Zelda’s free hand, wrapping his fingers over the top of hers. She startled and met his gaze with wide eyes.

‘You alright?’ he asked carefully.

‘I… of course,’ she murmured. ‘Just thinking…’ She paused. ‘About the birth records we found: I hope you don’t mind me looking for those without asking. Back when we celebrated my birthday, I asked and you said you didn’t remember your own. I wasn’t sure if we’d actually find them and I didn’t want to get your hopes up –’

‘It’s fine,’ he answered quickly. ‘I’m actually… I’m actually really happy that you did.’

‘I’m glad to hear it.’ She sighed, gaze falling back to the cake she was slowly, delicately mashing to a paste. ‘You know, I… I thought it was odd. Right at the beginning, I told you that you’d been asleep for one hundred years, and yet, the first time someone asked about your age, you promptly told them that you were a hundred and sixteen. You’ve been saying that ever since.’

‘So?’ he asked.

‘So, if it was your old age plus a hundred years, it should’ve been a hundred and eighteen,’ she informed him. ‘We went up Mount Lanayru together that day, you know? Even though I expressly told you that anyone under the age of seventeen is forbidden to enter. That’s why we needed to wait until my birthday.

‘I had thought you seemed unusually nervous back then, but I didn’t ask. I assumed you were just worried for the same reasons I was. That, as far as we knew, it was the last possible chance to awaken my powers. And maybe that was part of it, but it wasn’t everything, was it?’

‘Huh,’ Wild said slowly. ‘Well… that was kinda sacrilegious of me.’

Zelda waved that small matter away with a dismissive hand and a deep frown. ‘To think that you were actually younger than me the whole time,’ she marvelled. ‘I was told you were sixteen when you became my knight, but you would’ve actually been fourteen, weren’t you? I… I know my father had his flaws, and I know he wasn’t always kind or fair to any of us, but to think he would lie about your age –’

‘He didn’t,’ Wild said automatically. A moment later, his own words caught up with him. ‘I… at least, I don’t think he did? I think I was the one who…’ he trailed off thoughtfully. ‘I don’t remember clearly, but I think I’m the one who lied. I couldn’t have gotten a job like that if I was fourteen, could I? Not back then, at least. And if you didn’t have a job, you didn’t have money, and… well, you can sort of get your own food if you don’t mind foraging, can sort of live in your own place if you build it yourself and if you don’t mind fighting off the monsters all on your own. But money makes a difference. So… I know you didn’t really want me as a knight, but I think for me it was a kind of salvation.’

Zelda’s hand twisted beneath his, twining their fingers together. ‘Some salvation,’ she scoffed. ‘I treated you horribly.’

‘Well, as I say, I don’t really remember all that much. That’s just the word that comes to mind,’ he replied. ‘I suppose you can’t have treated me too much worse than what I’d expected.’ He shrugged. ‘You apologised, anyway. And it was a long time ago. It’d be pretty pointless for me to carry a grudge for over a hundred years.’

She leaned against his shoulder. ‘Carry it for two hundred years. See if I care. You deserve better, and you always have.’

Something bitter formed at the back of his throat. Nothing another bite of cake couldn’t fix, he decided, promptly forgetting until it was in his mouth that said “cake” was nothing more than an over-glorified slice of melon. ‘I definitely deserve better than whatever the fuck this thing is,’ he pointed out disgustedly.

Zelda laughed, and snagged his plate. ‘Very true. Well, as the first step towards making amends: let me fix that for you.’

He considered the offer. ‘If there’s any cheesecake left, I’ll take it. And while you’re there: I wanna try the cake the Gorons brought.’

She levelled him a flat gaze. ‘It’s literally made out of rocks. How is that better?’

Patiently, he explained, ‘Rocks can have all sorts of flavours, Your Highness. Like how sugar is a rock and salt is a rock and even honey turns into a rock if you let it dry out. Really, if you think about it, aren’t all cakes made out of rocks? For that matter: this morning’s porridge and yesterday’s soup? Full of rocks. All the meals I’ve cooked for you? Generously seasoned with rocks. When was the last time you ate a meal without rocks in it? It probably tasted like shit.’

Zelda rolled her eyes. ‘Fine,’ she acquiesced, undoubtably swayed, albeit reluctantly, by his impeccable logic. ‘I’ll go and get you a slice of rock, then. If it can be sliced, that is. A chunk of rock? A nugget? A geode? I’ll be sure to find someone capable of mining that boulder in search of whatever serves as an edible portion. Just for you.’

‘Aww.’

With a gentle smile and a final squeeze of his hand, she unlocked her fingers from his and moved away. Wild watched her weave her way through the crowd, stopped several times by cheery travellers offering greetings. He smirked: talk about popular.

He let his gaze drift across the slowly thinning crowd. He had thought the plan was to arrange mounts and head off later that day, but none of the other Links seemed particularly rushed. Over to one side, Wind could be seen proudly exhibiting his new pictographs to a rather unenthusiastic audience consisting of Time and Twilight. A little further away, trading shy smiles and quiet conversation, Warriors carefully applied polish to match Four’s seven unpainted nails with the three that Vio had left behind. Elsewhere, equipped with a scary smile and with a bottle and jar that looked vaguely medicinal, Hyrule sang out his predecessor’s name while a squat, cloaked figure placed roughly where Legend had disappeared from appeared far too mesmerised by the stable message board to offer any aid in the search.

‘Wild?’

He jumped, spotting the final member of the group beside him. ‘Sky,’ he greeted, mouth suddenly dry.

‘Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you,’ Sky apologised. He nodded towards an empty seat. ‘Is it ok if I…?’

‘Go for it,’ Wild said automatically. He winced internally, but steeled himself as Sky took a seat.

No point dragging it out, he supposed. ‘Sorry about earlier,’ he said. ‘For snapping at you like that, I mean. And then for ignoring you on the way back.’

Sky startled. ‘Wha– you? No, Wild: I should apologise. I –’

‘Like hell you should,’ Wild cut in vehemently. ‘You didn’t say anything wrong. Not your fault if I overreact and get upset over nothing. I’m an adult now and everything. Can’t just go throwing tantrums like that anymore, now, can I?’ Thinking back on Zelda’s words, he huffed out a laugh. ‘Sheesh. Should’ve done more of that when I was younger. Gotten it out of my system or whatever. Talk about missed chances, huh?’

Sky frowned. ‘Being an adult doesn’t mean you can’t have emotions. You know that, right?’

‘Sure,’ he replied offhandedly. ‘Don’t mind me; guess I’m just turning a little melancholy in my old age, getting my thoughts all stuck on the idea of –’

‘Hey! Give it back, old man!’ Wind complained, as Time stolidly hoisted the Picto Box out of reach and tucked it into his bag.

‘If you get to confiscate my dangerous artefacts, I definitely get to confiscate yours,’ Time informed him.

‘Huh? What did Wind confiscate?’ Twilight asked curiously.

‘Yeah, gramps, what did I confiscate?’ Wind chimed in.

Wild gritted his teeth. ‘Getting stuck on the idea of –’

Hyrule pounced on the cloaked figure, wrestled it to the floor and pulled a ring from its finger, revealing the squirming form of his predecessor. ‘You – since when could you see through illusion magic?!’ Legend yelped.

‘Illusion magic can’t fix your lousy acting,’ Hyrule deadpanned.

‘– of missed chances,’ Wild murmured. ‘Of time that won’t return. Of lost and broken things that won’t ever go back to how they once were, no matter how much you want them to.’ He took a shuddering breath and let his eyes drop to his lap. ‘You know, Sky,’ he began. ‘I was really happy when you all asked me to come with you. I was really happy to think that I… that you –’

‘Wild?’ a new voice asked. He looked up to see the stablemaster, Embry, gazing hesitantly down at him.

Truly, the man had impeccable timing.

‘Yes?’ Wild prompted.

Embry’s gaze flickered to Sky and then back with a slight wince. ‘One of the travelling merchants found something a little… odd, nearby. We’re not sure what to make of it. You’ve journeyed more than most, so I wouldn’t mind your opinion – if now’s an alright time, that is.’

‘Sure,’ said Wild. ‘Now is perfect, actually. Just show me the way.’

The “way” ended up being a rather short walk from the inside of the stable to the top of a small hill overlooking Aquame Lake. Once there, it wasn’t difficult to tell which odd thing Embry was talking about.

Wild stared blankly into the whirling mass of shadows that lay before him, waiting for a sign from the universe that this was nothing more than an elaborate prank. None came.

‘A portal? Already?’ he heard Sky comment disappointedly. ‘I thought we’d have at least a little more time before… oh! Umm, you don’t need to worry, Mr… Embry, was it? It’s nothing bad; my companions and I know all about these, and we – Wild?!’

Wild jolted out of his stupor to find Sky surveying him carefully. ‘Are you alright?’ he asked.

Wild nodded numbly. ‘Sorry. I just…’ He gestured vaguely towards the swirling shadows. For something supposedly associated with the Goddess, the portal truly seemed far more demonic than divine at first glance. It was only when he really focused that he could sense those subtle hints of Hylia’s presence. ‘Just surprised,’ he finished weakly. ‘I also… I also wasn’t expecting it so soon. I thought there’d be more time.’

Sky’s frown only deepened. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said gently. ‘Like I said, we can’t really control when they appear.’ He glanced back towards the stable. ‘We should still have a bit of time left, if you want to go and say goodbye to everyone? I’ll let the others know.’

‘R-right,’ Wild heard himself say. ‘Thanks. I’ll just… I just need a minute.’

Sky didn’t seem particularly mollified, but he nodded and began to head towards the stable, only glancing back once.

The bulk of Wild’s minute passed while he continued to stare into the portal, mind racing and hands shaking, until eventually he reached numbly for the Sheikah Slate at his hip, pulled open the map and selected the shrine he needed, confirming the teleportation before he could change his mind. As the familiar weightless sensation took hold, he thought he heard someone call his name, but he was gone before he could even turn his head.

Chapter Text

Korok Forest was not a quiet place.

Leaves rustled. Branches fell. Insects sang and frogs warbled cheerfully along. Shy little forest spirits teemed from every nook and cranny, chittering their surprise at Wild’s approach. He himself remained silent, offering only a few curt nods as he made his way to the sword pedestal, took a deep, steadying breath, reached out his hand, and –

Fire raced up his arm, surging through his bloodstream in the space of a heartbeat. It hurt, it hurt, it hurt so bad, but he couldn’t let go now, he couldn’t, Princess Zelda was counting on him, just hold on a little longer –

Wild flinched back before his fingers could even touch the hilt. He gritted his teeth and thrust his hand forward again, this time actually managing to brush it lightly with his fingertips before instinctively recoiling a second time. He wasn’t quite sure if the slight jolt felt upon contact was real or remembered, nor whether he was imagining the humming in his ears. The thudding of his heartbeat at least was likely reliable: he focused on that sound and did his best to calm his shaky breathing.

A low rumble from above slowly penetrated his jumbled senses. ‘So, you did come back after all…’ it remarked.

Wild slowly rose from his crouched position. ‘Great Deku Tree,’ he greeted flatly.

A rough chuckle answered him. ‘At ease, young swordsman. I had dreamed you might return, but dreams are not without error… last time you were here, you were rather firm that the sword’s role was over, within your own lifetime at least. Have you since changed your mind?’

Wild flinched. ‘I…’

‘Or perhaps,’ the Great Deku Tree continued shrewdly, ‘you have come here with a question? If that is the case, then by all means: ask away. I will give you what answers I can.’

Wild scowled. ‘If you already know that much, what’s the point of asking?’

‘Perhaps you will surprise me. Young souls often do.’

‘I’m a hundred and si– hundred and seventeen,’ Wild pointed out automatically. The Great Deku Tree only laughed, which Wild, upon reflection, probably deserved.

He let his gaze drop to the ground. ‘When you… back then…’ he began slowly. ‘Back when I drew the sword, you warned me to take care. You said you weren’t sure if I was worthy or not. What did you mean by that? Was I worthy, in the end? What would have happened if I wasn’t?’

‘You would have died,’ the Great Deku Tree stated simply. When Wild merely stood there in shocked silence, the tree added, ‘I was watching closely, intending to stop you if necessary, but thankfully there was no need. You passed the blade’s test, and claimed it as your own.’

Wild felt a weight lift off his shoulders. ‘I see. I… I did pass, then.’ He scoffed. ‘What an ill-tempered weapon. Does it really try to kill all of its masters?’

‘No,’ the Great Deku Tree replied promptly. ‘You, in your current form, were the first to face such a test. Indeed, one hundred years ago, you yourself were able to draw and wield it without pain.’

Wild jolted. He looked up again towards the ancient guardian of the forest. ‘It, umm… it was a rhetorical question,’ he said faintly.

‘Ah. My apologies.’

Nothing more was said. Wild fidgeted. Quietly, he asked, ‘Why, then?’

‘Is this also a rhetorical question?’

‘…No. No, I want to know the answer.’

The Great Deku Tree sighed. ‘The sword is what it was made to be, young one. Time and companionship have granted some degree of sentimentality, but there is only so far that it can defy its own nature. As you are now, that very nature is inimical to you. There is no malice in that.’

‘“No malice in an inevitability”,’ Wild murmured.

The Great Deku Tree was silent for a long moment. ‘A word of advice for you, from one ancient spirit to another?’ it offered eventually.

‘And there I thought I was a “young soul”,’ Wild remarked dryly.

‘Your soul is young. Your spirit is not.’

Wild shrugged, lacking the energy to delve into that one. ‘Sure. Give me your advice, then. Why not?’

‘A sword wields no strength unless the hand that holds it has courage,’ the tree intoned.

The words sparked a faint flicker of memory – a trace of something gold and green, the cold, wet taste of fog, the mournful howl of a wolf… all gone before Wild could make sense of them. He frowned. ‘That phrase,’ he murmured. ‘Where have I…?’

His gaze fell once more upon the Master Sword, seeing the blade suddenly pulse with blue light. A distant chiming sound reached his ears, but if there were any words associated with the noise, he couldn’t make them out. He never could, at least as far as he could recall. How ironic, Wild had always thought, that he ended up being the one granted access to the Goddess’ voice, whereas only Zelda had ever heard the words of the Master Sword.

He stared at the blade for a long moment, before tearing his eyes away and nodding towards its guardian. ‘Thank you,’ he said thickly. ‘I’ll… I’ll be going now.’

Generally speaking, Sky slept rather well at night. One key prerequisite as to why Sky was, generally speaking, able to sleep rather well at night was that Sky had, generally speaking, accepted that was only so far a mortal could go in understanding the ways of the gods. Sometimes, he knew, all Sky could truly manage was to do his best and have faith that everything would work out eventually. Surprisingly often, it did, whether due to luck or divine providence. Sky knew better than to question such things.

Regardless of this battle-tested wisdom, Sky did feel that the great Goddess’ timing could occasionally be a little… interesting. So, maybe the stablemaster was going to have a few nightmares about the look Sky shot him after his rude interruption to the very important conversation Sky had been having with Wild, but, well, Sky couldn’t control everything, now could he?

As he made his way back to the stable, Sky did his best to banish Wild’s forlorn expression from his mind. Sooner or later, they would need to discuss whatever his companion had been trying to say about “missed chances”, “lost and broken things” and everything else that had set the alarm bells in Sky’s mind ringing at top volume. Unfortunately, it seemed that now was not that time.

Reluctantly, Sky stepped through the entrance to the stable.

‘Get her, Twi!’ Wind hollered from his seat in Time’s lap.

‘Fucking wreck him, Risa!’ Legend yelled from his position beside Hyrule, the latter frowning sympathetically as he stretched and massaged the former’s joints.

Sky blinked.

In the scant few minutes he’d been absent, the stable’s interior had transformed into a makeshift wrestling arena, with three combatants – one Hylian and two Gorons – already nursing bruises to one side, while Twilight and an eight-foot-tall Gerudo woman circled each other at the centre of the room. The rest of Sky’s companions lounged against the opposite wall, noisily spectating the event. He cautiously edged his way towards them, questions hovering at the tip of his tongue.

Now, Sky would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little curious, but after all the times a shift had been suddenly sprung on them, the prewarning of the portal was nothing to scoff at. They really ought to make use of the boon they’d been granted, so, sure he was extremely curious, but –

‘Party games,’ Wind offered by way of explanation. ‘Loser has to marry the winner.’

Sky frowned. ‘I… don’t think that’s how marriage works?’

‘Well, it’s not my era, so how would I know?’ Wind observed carelessly. ‘Twi agreed, so I guess it’s fine.’

‘I specifically didn’t agree!’ Twilight called back. In the moment of his distraction, “Risa” (was that her name?) surged forward, elbow aimed at Twilight’s gut, only for her opponent to step to one side, tumble across the floor and rise to drive his own elbow in between her shoulder blades.

‘Huh,’ Time murmured. ‘That was a Back Slice, wasn’t it?’

‘It’s not over yet!’ Legend crowed as Risa retaliated with a vicious knee to Twilight’s chest, winning her a grunt of pain in response. Yep, Sky gauged, that was definitely going to leave bruises.

‘Umm… I know it’s bad timing, but… there’s a portal outside,’ he revealed.

‘Wait, what?’ said Twilight, unfortunately leaving the perfect opportunity for Risa to sweep her leg beneath his and topple him, thus concluding the match.

‘Fuck yeah, you crazy bitch!’ cheered Legend.

‘Unfair! Rematch, rematch!’ Wind yelped in response.

Twilight swiftly extricated himself from Risa’s hold (‘Are you sure you don’t want to get marr–?’ ‘Positive.’) and jogged over. ‘Portal already, huh?’ he said breathlessly. ‘How are we placed for supplies?’

‘Fairly well, all things considered,’ Time mused. ‘The stable was quite well stocked for mundane travelling equipment and rations, and the Zoras brought plenty of potions with them – or elixirs, rather, as they call them. We should split them between us just in case we’re separated again. The main thing we’re lacking is magic-replenishing elixirs, which are apparently rather rare in this era. I’ve given the one they did have to Hyrule. We’ll have to take a bit of extra care until we can restock properly.’

‘Wild’s enduring elixirs seem to have a similar effect, if we need them, and he said he had a few spares,’ Hyrule offered. ‘They don’t exactly restore magic, but they do offset the effects of magic exhaustion.’

Legend reluctantly tore his eyes from the (admittedly impressive) sight of Risa suplexing a Zora woman. ‘That doesn’t mean it’s safe to overuse your magic, ’Rule,’ he warned. ‘You ought to know your limits by now. Go overboard again and I’ll tie you to your bedroll for a week.’

Hyrule cuffed him lightly. ‘Try following your own advice, dumbass.’

‘Where is Wild, anyway?’ Warriors queried, eyes scanning over their surroundings.

Sky bit his lip. ‘Likely with Flora,’ he replied, thoughts straying, once more, to the sight of their new team member looking as if someone had just kicked his pet remlit and/or bear. ‘I suggested he go and say goodbye to everyone while he has the chance.’

Time nodded ruefully. ‘It’s rather unfortunate timing, isn’t it?’

‘Could be worse,’ Legend pointed out. ‘Could be in the middle of a wedding. Could be in the middle of a funeral. Could be while he has a pot of soup on the stove which he left simmering while he took what he thought was a quick trip to the shops, could be – wait, shit, did I leave the stove burning?’

‘Thank you, Legend,’ said Hyrule dryly. ‘As always, you are a bright ray of positivity on this dark quest in which we find ourselves.’

Without a trace of sarcasm, Legend promptly replied, ‘You’re welcome.’

‘Well, the portal won’t wait forever,’ Time said regretfully. ‘Let’s handle the rations and potions allocation now. We’ll give Wild his before we leave.’

Sky zoned out amid the sounds of clinking glass and rustling paper, eyes fixed instead on the entrance to the stable, where both Wild and Flora seemed to be taking a rather long time to return. It was probably nothing, he supposed. It wasn’t as if they’d had much time to speak alone, in between prank wars and overpopulated camps and monster hunts and raucous parties (out of the corner of his eye, Sky witnessed Risa land an ostentatious moonsault onto her opponent’s chest).

Idly, he thumbed the hilt of the Master Sword, thinking back on that unhappy chime he’d heard a few hours earlier. Fi would surely know whether there was any cause for alarm, but, within his own hands at least, the spirit of the blade remained asleep, in the same state she had maintained since the conclusion of his original quest. On rare occasions she still made her presence known, but he was never quite sure how aware she was of his situation or his surroundings. So, then, what was that sound, he wondered?

‘Sky?’

He jolted at the sound of his name. ‘Yes?’

‘Is something wrong?’ Time asked. ‘You seem a little distracted.’

‘It’s nothing,’ he replied automatically. A moment later, Sky changed his mind. ‘No, actually… could you excuse me for a moment?’ He got to his feet. ‘I need to speak to Flora.’ Without waiting for a response, he hurried towards the exit.

Resting beside the pond outside his home in Hateno, beneath the small amount of shade the old and battered apple tree offered, Wild finally took a moment to address the violent flashing from his Sheikah Slate, revealing three missed calls and several new messages, all from Zelda:

Wild, can you call me back please?

Wild, I saw you teleport and this has me understandably concerned.

I still have your cake, you know.

If this is a prank, I will be very upset.

Wild, there appears to be an interdimensional and/or intertemporal portal right outside the stable, which I specifically noticed you noticing and which I’m relatively sure you’re not supposed to teleport away from.

Please at least text me so that I know that you’re safe.

Wild, my most honourable and cherished Champion, I am not asking for much, I merely request a brief response (a single word would be quite sufficient at this point) to confirm the continued standard functionality of your respiratory and circulatory systems. Kindly respond at earliest convenience or I swear to everything holy and/or unholy that I will DROP YOUR FAVOURITE SKIRT DIRECTLY INTO THE FIRES OF DEATH MOUNTAIN. The cute little blue one with the fluffy petticoat and the white ribbon trim and the matching headpiece. DO NOT TEST ME ON THIS, FOOL. I WILL DO IT.

ANSWER THE DANG SLATE, YOU INSUFFERABLE LITTLE RAT BOKOBLIN.

Please.

Wild’s vision swam disconcertingly towards the end of the last few messages. He rubbed his eyes, murmuring an aimless complaint towards the sunlight, the thirty-something hours he had gone without sleeping, the motion sickness associated with about ten to fifteen minutes of staring into the swirling shadows of an interdimensional portal, or to whatever else had contributed to the building ache in his temples.

‘What on earth are you doing, Hero of the Wild?’ an amused voice drawled.

Probably that last one, upon reflection.

The results of the Sanctuary Rune looked surprisingly similar to Hylia’s own suspicious black portal. A distant part of Wild wondered why that was. The less distant parts of him were preoccupied by just how badly his head was starting to ache.

Oh, right. Dark Link had asked a question. ‘I wanted us to speak, but I didn’t know how to contact you,’ he explained. ‘I just had the idea that if I used that Rune you gave me… I don’t know, that you might sense it somehow. Like how…’ Like how the four Champions had sensed the use of their own gifts, Wild thought but didn’t say.

Dark Link hummed thoughtfully. ‘Well, it worked, I suppose. It’s a rather distinctive magic; I couldn’t help but get curious. Though to think we would meet again so soon and in such a place…’ his eyes strayed around their surrounds, squinting uncomfortably in the sunlight. ‘Regardless,’ he continued, ‘if you don’t intend to actually use that Rune, I suggest you cancel it for now. The energy drain is nothing to scoff at, you know.’

Energy drain? Wild frowned. That’s right… Zelda had mentioned something similar in connection with teleportation, hadn’t she? Just how much more energy did an interdimensional portal require? Wild quickly fumbled for the right Rune, hands shaking, and managed to make the strange portal disappear. Immediately, a weight that he had barely even noticed disappeared from his shoulders.

‘Much better,’ Dark Link remarked, taking a seat beside him. ‘Now then, tell me young Hero of the Wild: why is it that you were so keen to speak with me?’

Wild paused for a long moment, searching for the right words. ‘This… might sound odd… and I don’t mean it as an accusation, but…’ He glanced over to Dark Link and then looked back down at his lap. ‘Back when we spoke before. About the other heroes, about the Shrine of Resurrection and about the portals. You weren’t… you weren’t hiding anything from me, were you?’

A long, heavy silence greeted him. Wild fidgeted awkwardly, holding off for as long as he could manage before stealing a look at his companion.

Dark Link gazed him with an inscrutable expression. ‘That’s a rather odd question to be faced with,’ he said quietly. ‘I’m not sure I can respond properly without knowing the context. Where exactly did this come from?’

Wild swallowed. ‘J-just… something that Sky said. That only holders of the Hero’s Spirit can use the portals, and that those people should be able to use the Master Sword. You… you already know that I… well, it’s not like I can’t use the sword at all, just…’

‘Just not without it burning you,’ Dark Link finished thoughtfully.

Wild nodded shakily. ‘It’s… the first time we met, you said you didn’t think I was “suited”. But you also… you also made it sound as if I had a choice. Or at least a ch-chance. I m-mean, sure, you said a lot of other things about dark magic and n-natural enemies and everything, but if it was actually impossible –’

‘I see,’ said Dark Link. He paused for a long, thoughtful moment. ‘So, only certain people can use the Goddess’ portals? I suppose that makes sense… though it must have been quite distressing to hear.’

Wild stomach dropped. ‘You… you didn’t know?’

‘I can’t know everything, Hero of the Wild,’ Dark Link said calmly. ‘It’s a rather large universe, full of all manner of intriguing things – yourself included, of course. Hmm… and you said it was the Hero of the Sky who told you this, I believe? I suppose he would have no real reason to lie to you, would he?’

‘I… wouldn’t think he would lie?’ Wild replied hesitantly. ‘Unless…’ His words trailed off as he thought it through: Sky had seemed confident enough in his words, had seemed genuinely shocked at his reaction, had actually tried to apologise for upsetting Wild, but…

Hadn’t this whole thing come about right after the hinox fight, where Wild had shown himself to be a liability? Only hours after he’d caused a pointless argument around breakfast, less than a day since Sky had caught him red-eyed and shaky after breaking down in front of Legend, right after overreacting once again and actually destroying one of Sky’s items? Sky, the first of the heroes, Sky, who wielded the Master Sword, who had heard the voice of the Master Sword, who had, out of all the heroes, the strongest bond with the blade. Compared to that, what was Wild beyond a broken, scar-riddled failure who’d left his kingdom in ruins?

‘I… don’t know?’ Wild eventually admitted.

His doppelgänger raised an eyebrow at that response, but evidently decided to let the matter go. ‘For argument’s sake, then: let’s say he told the truth, and that only those who possess the Hero’s Spirit can use the portals. If that’s the case –’

‘Hold on,’ Wild said suddenly. ‘Didn’t you say you could use them?’

‘Indeed,’ Dark Link confirmed. ‘But I’m a rather special case, I’m afraid. I told you of my true nature, didn’t I? Certainly, I wasn’t born with the Hero’s Spirit like you, but at this point, I may well have been. I am a perfect copy, right down to my very aura. I doubt even the Goddess’ own portals could tell the difference. But you, Wild…’ Dark Link cast a speculative eye over him. ‘You’re a rather special case as well, are you not?

‘The others have been journeying for some time now, you know? I expect they were rather surprised to encounter you.’

‘It’s been over a month since we’ve encountered a new Link,’ Time had said. ‘Why now?’

‘Certainly, you held that spirit once… and perhaps you still do. But, for whatever reason, the sword only grudgingly accepts you as its master. As if it can’t even recognise the one it has served throughout the eons.’

‘Do you remember any dreams from your time in the Slumber of Restoration?’ Purah had once asked. ‘You don’t look like you’ve changed a bit in the last one hundred years, but something must have happened in all that time.’

‘And then there’s this, the most intriguing point of all: the fact that you and I are meeting here, in this place at this time.’ Dark Link’s eyes slid back to Wild’s. ‘Hateno Village, I believe? Or somewhere near it? I can faintly smell the sea. Not that I don’t enjoy our little conversations, but why, I wonder, would one of Hylia’s chosen heroes have fled such a long way in order to speak with me privately?’

Wild’s own voice echoed back to him. ‘Even if I don’t really have the right to be here, then suppose I wanted to have that right, suppose I wanted to be a hero of courage like you, then I figure the f-first thing I would have to do is, uh, sh-show some courage. So, uh, th-that’s why I’m here.’

The gentle chiding of the sword’s ancient guardian. ‘A sword wields no strength unless the hand that holds it has courage.’

‘Well,’ Dark Link continued, ‘there’s only one way to know for sure if the portal will grant you passage, but the fact that I see you here now… perhaps you’ve already made your choice.’

Wild flinched. ‘I’m not… I’m not running away, I just wanted –’

‘There’s no shame in it,’ Dark Link said gently. ‘I’m not here to lecture you for your decisions.’ He sighed. ‘Hasn’t the world been harsh enough on you already?’

Dark Link’s voice seemed to take on a strange, mesmerising resonance as he continued, ‘It’s the way of the Hero’s Spirit, I suppose. Having every tiny weakness picked at, every bit of softness beaten down. Never fast enough, never strong enough, too young, too afraid, too sheltered, too loving, too proud… the gods and their servants may see it as nothing more than the forging of a more powerful weapon, yet the truth is that anything can break if enough pressure is applied. Even the Hero’s Spirit.

‘The gods have been cruel to you, Link, have they not? You fought valiantly every step of the way, both in your first lifetime and then once again: cruelly denied even a peaceful death, forced back into a body and mind that might as well have been strangers. Surely, you’re already exhausted. So why should you be forced to bear even more pain, even more rejection, even more loss?’

Wild’s vision blurred, exhaustion creeping up on him once again. ‘Not “Link”. I’m Wild,’ he forced out, the words blending together just a little. He wobbled where he sat. He felt a distant kind of alarm at that; why was he suddenly so tired?

‘Of course, Wild,’ Dark Link replied soothingly. ‘My apologies.’ A cool arm snaked around his shoulders. ‘Dear me; you’re not looking so well. Perhaps you should rest.’

‘But the portal –’ Wild objected weakly.

‘– Is probably already gone,’ Dark Link finished. ‘They don’t tend to stay for long, you know? It’s been at least half an hour since this one opened, and we’re a long way from the stable now.’

Wild made a feeble attempt to fight back against the fog invading his mind. Something was wrong with that last statement, he thought dizzily. What was it? Something about the stable… why was it suddenly so hard to think straight?

‘Maybe I am tired,’ he mumbled.

‘Then rest, Hero of the Wild. You’ve earned it, surely.’

And he had, hadn’t he? Was that selfish to think? If it was impossible anyway, what difference would it make to just rest and let the others disappear from his era without a farewell? They’d forget about him soon enough. He hadn’t been necessary from the beginning.

Wild let his eyes slip closed, body slumping against the cool presence at his back. As he fell away into the darkness, the last thing he heard was a whisper in his ear: ‘Sleep well, Hero of the Wild.’

‘Open your eyes.’

The fuzzy blue light above was growing ever more distant. Lazily, he swam upwards for a few strokes, stopping when he realised how little of a difference it seemed to make. Why not just let himself sink?

‘You’re incredible, you know, Wild?’

The voice echoed strangely, as if heard from deep underwater. What an odd thing to say.

He suddenly recognised the blue light shining down on him: that was the Shrine of Resurrection, wasn’t it? If they’d put him in the Shrine again, did that mean he’d failed a second time? Would the Shrine even work a second time? What if he emerged even more broken than before?

‘You’re not fucking broken,’ a second voice snapped in response to that thought. Wild gave a mental shrug, lacking any energy to argue the point.

‘You ok, Wild?’ another voice asked gently. He could almost picture the face that went with it: sharp blue eyes, arcane markings… Twilight – that was his name, wasn’t it?

‘You’re one of us now, so don’t treat yourself like an outsider,’ Vio scolded.

‘I think you’ll fit right in,’ Time added confidently.

‘Don’t worry, new kid, I’ll show you around,’ Wind chirped.

Despite himself, Wild smiled for a moment. The brief grin faded under the weight of realisation.

Ah. He’d really missed his chance, hadn’t he?

Upon the entrance platform to the Myahm Agana shrine, strings of blue light coalesced into the shape of a Hylian woman who closed her eyes, concentrated for a moment and then said, loudly and exasperatedly, ‘Goddess dash it, Wild.’

After the countless nights Zelda had jolted awake from nightmares, gasping for breath and reaching desperately for any hint of comfort, Wild’s aura was unmistakable, though why he was at home and in bed of all places was beyond her. Stormily, she made her way over to the old cottage, tossed her shoes onto the rack near the door and began to climb the creaking stairs.

She supposed there were worse places to have found her missing friend, thus why she had already checked the Shrine of Resurrection (empty and dark; had there been a cave-in?) and Zora’s Domain (no, thankfully he had not passed through on his way to fight a lynel). Still, his current location gave little explanation as to why he’d chosen to ignore her increasingly desperate attempts to make contact.

The small flicker of anger Zelda had managed to muster during her approach died at the sight of her dearest friend resting peacefully, golden tresses loose across his pillow, breathing slow and even, face relaxed in deep slumber. Gently, she seated herself beside him on the mattress, hand rising to brush his cheek.

‘You picked a rather odd time to take a nap,’ she murmured.

Wild let out a soft mumble and shifted a little closer to her hand before sighing and going still once again. Zelda’s brow furrowed: Wild tended to sleep lightly when he slept at all, and it was a little uncanny to see him so unaware.

‘Wake up,’ she called in a louder tone. Wild didn’t respond to her voice, but he did grumble slightly at the harsh poking that followed. For a moment, she thought that would be enough to rouse him, but surprisingly, he merely rolled over and buried his face in the pillow.

Zelda rose from the bed and descended the stairs. A minute or two later, she was back in front of Wild, now equipped with a pair of saucepans.

‘WAKE UP ALREADY, YOU ROCK-GUZZLING FOOL OF A HERO!’ she shouted, banging her makeshift cymbals together.

Wild shot up from the mattress. ‘Huhwhat?’ he sputtered. ‘Z-Zel’a? What – you – huh?! How did I – when did I –? Huh?!’

‘Good afternoon, my dear Champion,’ Zelda replied severely, trying not to laugh at either Wild’s confusion or his hilarious bedhead.

‘’S afternoon a’ready?’ he slurred sleepily.

Zelda stacked her pots noisily on the bedside table. ‘Yes, it’s afternoon,’ she confirmed as she did her (rather ineffective) best to yank him out of bed. ‘It was early in the afternoon when you teleported away about half an hour ago, therefore it is still afternoon now. I don’t know what you think you’re doing right now, but you need to get back to the stable now. It’s not too late, but it soon will be, and if you’re not there when the portal starts fading –’

Wild fiercely tugged himself free of her grip, lay back down and yanked the covers over his head. Through the fabric, she heard his muffled response: ‘Don’t wake me up for stupid shit like that.’

‘You –’ Zelda choked on her next breath. ‘I will absolutely wake you up for “stupid sh-shit” like this, just you watch me! Get the heliotrope out of bed!’

‘Or else what?’ he demanded.

Instead of a verbal response, she grabbed the quilt and yanked. The first attempt was unsuccessful – damn heroes and their ridiculous strength – but the second, tactical approach bore more fruit.

‘The f– are you actually tickling my feet right now?!’ Wild yelped while Zelda did exactly that.

‘Get out of bed and I’ll stop,’ she challenged.

He glared at her with rare, genuine anger. ‘One fucking day,’ he hissed back. ‘That’s all I’m asking for. One day to rest, then tomorrow I’ll… I’ll…’ the sudden rage faded as quickly as it had appeared. ‘Lynel near Zora’s Domain,’ he recited. ‘Lizalfos near Lurelin… buncha fucking bokoblins and moblins and lizalfos and whatever else around Hateno Bay… maybe I’ll visit Robbie first, see if he can make me any more ancient arrows… then, Dueling Peaks at some point, of course, and B-Blatchery Plain… should probably check Hyrule Field as well, see if any of the Guardians have reactivated… the Castle too, at some point… no, in fact, what if the Divine Beasts –?’ Wild ran a shaky hand over his forehead. ‘Fuck, I’m tired.’ He plopped back down and curled into the blankets, eyes closing. ‘Please, Zelda, just… not now. Tomorrow. I’ll figure it out tomorrow.’

Zelda felt her eyes prickle. She lay down next to Wild, fingers winding their way through his dishevelled hair. ‘Tomorrow will be too late,’ she said softly. ‘It needs to be now.’

He didn’t respond, so eventually, she spoke again. ‘Just so you know,’ she said, ‘I’m going to melt the Master Sword down for cutlery.’

She felt him tense beside her. ‘And why is that?’

‘Zelda’s ground rules, item one: anyone or anything who hurts Wild will face my wrath. You remember those, right? It was just yesterday.’

Wild’s breathing hitched. ‘What, you really wanna make the next hero wield the Master Fork against the Calamity?’

‘How about a ladle then?’ she suggested sweetly. ‘You seem to do well enough with those.’

Wild snorted wetly. ‘Go hard or go home: Master Teaspoon. Master Lettuce Tongs. Master Rolling Pin – wait no, that last one sounds kinda dangerous. Zelda –’ He cut off abruptly, hand fisting in the covers. ‘I’m guessing Sky caught you up, or the sword did, or whatever. So you probably already know, but… something went wrong while I was in the Shrine. I’m not…’ His breathing caught. ‘I’m not who or what I was back then. Not who you tried to save. I wish I could be him, but I just can’t. Zelda, I’m so sorr–mrmph?!’

Wild’s eyes finally flashed open as Zelda shoved a hand over his mouth. ‘For the last danged time, I do not want to hear your apologies,’ she hissed. ‘Dash it all, you always do this.’

He stared at her uncomprehendingly and her ire only built. She slammed a fist on the mattress next to him. ‘See, here’s your problem, Wild: you give up at the worst times,’ she snapped. ‘You don’t give up when your body is covered in wounds and screaming at you to give up. You don’t give up when you’re fighting lynels or taluses or hinoxes or Guardians or gosh danged Calamity Ganon, you don’t give up after waking up with no memory and being told you have to go save the world. You never give on saving even a single traveller, you never give up on saving me, but you always, always give up on you. And if you –’ The tears she had been holding back finally spilled over. ‘If you cared about yourself even a fraction of how much I care about you, then this is the time when you’d go out there and actually fight – not because you have to, but because it just might bring you a little bit of happiness.’ Taking advantage of Wild’s loosened grip, she snagged the covers and finally managed to yank them away, tossing them carelessly to the floor. ‘Get the frick out of bed, Wild,’ she demanded. ‘You can take a nap some other time, when you won’t regret it later.’

He sighed. ‘What do you want from me, Zelda? Who or what am I even supposed to fight here? It’s the Goddess making those portals, you know. What, you want me to go fistfight Hylia?’

‘Yes!’ she said emphatically.

That managed to grab his attention. ‘Oh? Is that right, Your Goddess-Descended Highness? You really ok with me punching your great-great-great-times-whatever grandmother?’

Zelda’s mind strayed inanely to the countless days she’d spent praying to a goddess who failed to respond even once. ‘Punch her twice,’ she suggested thoughtfully. ‘One for you and one for me. Or even better: just go through the dang portal. You didn’t even try, did you? I was watching. Do you even know for sure that it won’t work?’

His silence gave her all the answers she needed.

‘Then why the frigate are you just lying there feeling sorry for yourself right now?!’ she snapped. ‘Hot tip, Wild: you miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take. So, here’s the plan. Step one: I shove you bodily at the danged portal and we see if you manage to fall in. Step two: if that doesn’t work, punch Hylia until it does.’

‘…Can’t punch a goddess, Your Highness.’

‘Well, punch a Goddess Statue then!’ she yelled. ‘Heck, they’re made of rock, right? You can probably eat them. Bring your kitchenware, I’ll bring the Master Spork; I don’t give a flunk.’

Wild let out an involuntary snort. ‘Shit, you’re kinda selling me on this backup plan. Wonder what blasphemy tastes like, anyway?’

‘Can’t be the worst thing you’ve eaten,’ she said dismissively. ‘Or how about this, then? If you can’t get through that portal, then I’m taking you on a culinary tour. We’ll visit every town in Hyrule that has a Goddess Statue, and once you’re done taking a bite out of that, then we’ll go and get some actual food at the finest restaurant that settlement can offer. All you can eat. My shout.’

‘Bold of you to assume your wallet can handle my appetite.’

As if Zelda hadn’t thought of that one already. ‘We’ll visit the castle first, break open the vault and find some priceless family heirlooms to hawk. I’m fairly certain the Kokiri Emerald would cover at least a meal or two.’

He laughed again (her absolute favourite sound). ‘D-damn. How am I supposed to say no to that?’

‘Well, you should probably wait to hear what happens if the portal does let you through,’ she added primly.

His bright smile slipped. ‘And that is?’

‘Make me a cake when you get back,’ she replied. ‘Fruitcake, preferably, though I’ll accept your best alternative.’

‘…And that’s it?’

‘You’ll make me a cake, and you’ll ice a message on top,’ she clarified. ‘“Thank You, Zelda”. That’s what you’ll write.’ She glared down at him. ‘I don’t want your damn apologies. Now or ever. Not when it comes to the one thing that I will never, ever regret. So, if you feel so strongly about the matter that you need to keep bringing it up like this, then you can bake me a gratitude cake, and then you can say those words aloud to me in each and every language you know, then you can say it in sign too – heck, say it in military semaphore if you still remember how, that might be fun.’

‘I…’ Wild swallowed. ‘I forget how to do the “t”.’

‘Then you’d better study,’ she said loftily. ‘Now get the f-fuck out of bed, Wild.’

He actually cackled, and, more importantly: he finally let her yank him upright. She celebrated by throwing a spare hair tie directly at his nose, followed by his shoes at chest height once they made their way downstairs. Properly equipped at last, he tugged her into a sudden embrace, murmuring something indistinct and squeezing almost tight enough to hurt before pulling back and reaching for his Sheikah Slate.

Wild gave her a warm smile. ‘Count of three?’

Zelda grinned back. ‘Three… two… one…’

Zelda and Wild reappeared on the pedestal of the Rota Ooh Shrine, close to where Legend was busy restlessly pacing back and forth. ‘Fucking portals better get us back in time for Risa and Gaddison’s wedding or I’m slapping every deity I know in the damned face,’ he groused absently.

‘Hi,’ said Wild.

‘Hello,’ said Zelda.

‘Wh–’ Legend jolted. ‘When did you –?! Never mind. Flora: did you manage to get his shit together?’

‘Umm,’ said Wild.

‘As far as I can tell, his shit is temporarily together, yes,’ Zelda confirmed.

‘What she said,’ Wild agreed meekly.

Legend gave a quick thumbs up. ‘Then let’s get in the fucking portal already, I am not dealing with a forced shift today.’ He grabbed Wild’s right hand and started to pull him away from the shrine. Zelda felt Wild’s free hand snag hers.

They soon reached the others, Sky giving Zelda a grateful look and Wild a tentative smile, Time thrusting a bundle of supplies in Wild’s direction.

‘You alright, Wild?’ Warriors asked, clearly missing the memo about dealing with any outstanding questions later.

‘I… I’m good,’ Wild confirmed, swiftly stowing the supplies in his Sheikah Slate. He glanced sheepishly from face to face. ‘Umm. Sorry about that. About running away. Again, I mean. Look, I don’t know if you still want me, but –’

‘Oh, just get it over with already,’ Zelda snapped as she shoved Wild at the portal.

Anticlimactically, it worked exactly as a portal should, sending her best friend falling across time and space to Hylia only knows where. Ignoring the various alarmed gazes sent her way, Zelda dusted her hands of a job well done.

‘Erm,’ Sky began, ‘you know, we do try to enter in pairs or trios where possible, to avoid accidentally splitting up, and –’

‘Excellent! Good! The buddy system is a good idea!’ Zelda shouted, joining Sky’s hand with Warriors’s and shoving the two right after.

Four sighed. ‘Alright, I suppose. Then I guess we’ll – WIND, WHAT THE F–’

‘Buddy system, let’s go!’ Wind yelled as he clotheslined Four into the portal, the latter managing only the beginnings of an expletive before the two dissolved into the ether.

Legend shrugged. ‘C’mon ’Rule. Us next.’ He slung an arm around his successor’s shoulders and glanced back at his remaining companions. ‘Don’t leave us waiting, old man. Wolfie.’

Twilight startled forward, hands clutching the air Legend had disappeared from. ‘I – what did you just –’

‘Buddy system,’ Time reminded him cheerfully, slinging an arm around his protégé’s shoulders.

Before Zelda could think better of it, she reached out and grabbed Time’s wrist. He looked back towards her inquisitively.

She took a steadying breath. ‘I know your quest will be dangerous, and I know all too well how reckless and self-sacrificing Wild can be. I won’t ask you to make any unreasonable promises for his safety, but please just –’

‘I’ll care for him as best as I’m able,’ he vowed solemnly. ‘We all will.’

It was difficult to speak past the lump in her throat, so Zelda only nodded, giving a small wave before the remaining two heroes finally disappeared, along with the portal itself.

Alone at last, her shoulders slumped. ‘Be safe,’ she whispered.

The air tasted a little different. That was the first thing Wild noticed.

The colours were off as well, the greens of the leaves above seeming a little browner than he expected. The sky above had a slight dusky tone to it, though the sun was still high.

Wild sat up and looked around. He could tell he was in a forest, but that was about the limit of it. Automatically, he reached for his slate and opened the map, only to be confronted with blue and grey static.

‘Oof!’ said Sky as he and Warriors dropped to the ground a few metres away.

Wild’s head whipped towards them in surprise. ‘Huh?!’

‘–UCK ARE YOU DOING?!’ Four shouted a moment later as he and Wind fell directly on top of Wild. Four immediately groaned and rolled away, looking rather nauseous.

‘Huh,’ said Wind. ‘That was a better landing than usual.’ He glanced down. ‘Oh. Hey, Wild! Sorry to drop in on you like that.’

‘Uhh… that’s ok?’ Wild replied confusedly. Thankfully, the next arrival removed the need for further comment.

‘Did you see his fucking face?!’ Legend crowed, cackling madly as he and Hyrule fell in a graceless pile of limbs.

‘Be nice,’ Hyrule scolded, as if he wasn’t also smirking.

‘Forest, again?’ Warriors remarked, already taking stock. ‘This doesn’t feel like my world, for what it’s worth. Does seem familiar though… Twilight’s era, maybe?’

‘I think so too,’ Hyrule agreed, wrinkling his nose slightly.

Twilight and Time managed, impressively, to land on their feet, though the latter wobbled dangerously. Twilight himself took one look around and swiftly confirmed, ‘My Hyrule. Faron Woods from the look of things. Everyone ok?’ A chorus of assent greeted him. ‘Wild? You good?’ Twilight added, addressing the one person who hadn’t responded.

‘Yep, I’m good,’ he said simply.

Wild was, in fact, more than good. Wild was fucking fantastic. Wild was going to bake Princess Zelda the best fucking cake she had ever seen. He giggled as he grabbed both Wind and Four and yanked them into a tight embrace, the latter whining slightly but still weakly gripping back.

‘Group hug?’ Wild proposed giddily.

‘GROUP FUCKING HUG!’ Wind yelled in response, and Wild was swiftly swarmed. He laughed and squeezed tighter as eight heroes gripped back, obnoxiously ruffling his hair one by one until, inevitably, it fell out of its neat and tidy ponytail.

He knew it couldn’t last forever, but Wild was still mildly disappointed when the group hug eventually broke apart. As if sensing his mood, Time tugged him into one last embrace. ‘Welcome the team, Wild,’ he said fondly.

Wild grinned back. ‘It’s good to be here.’