Chapter Text
Dada da da dum, da da da dum dadum…
Xiao taps a pen to his chin, repeating a melody in his head. It doesn’t sound quite like the original. The rhythm is off, the ending of the line a bit quicker than what he wants to transcribe.
But maybe… Dada da da dum, da da dum da dum dum…? Yes that’s it.
Pleased, Xiao enters the revised notes into his software before giving it one final check. He plays through the melody on his keyboard a couple times, ensuring that the difficulty level is appropriate for a pop song highly requested by his audience. It’s finally complete. Thank archons, because he’s been listening to that song for days on end now. He still needs to record the instrumental cover of the song, but for now,
Upload.
He may as well privately upload it, considering he’ll need to share the link in the video description anyway. Xiao stares at the progress bar blankly, tapping his fingers against the laptop as he watches it inch across the screen. Giving into his impatience, he pulls out his phone, opening Instagram to kill some time.
Chongyun, Xingqiu, Xiangling, and Hutao seem to be doing well. They seem like they’re about to release a new album soon. Maybe he should mark that date down. He quickly maneuvers to his calendar app, creating an event notification on the date. Satisfied that he would remember, he begins checking on his post notifications.
The minute long spontaneous covers he’s been uploading have been doing pretty well, so he might as well do more of-
A ping rings through the otherwise silent room. A text message.
boss
I need to talk to you. Come to my office.
Xiao sighs in irritation and swipes the notification away. His daily email from Ningguang. She really doesn’t give up-
He does a double take, swiping down to view the notification again. There’s no doubt; the text message he just received from the oh-so-great CEO of Qixing Entertainment is there, clear as day. What the hell.
If Ningguang is anything, she is conscientious of the way she conducts herself and her business, so this informality sticks out like a sore thumb. However, Xiao has been ignoring her emails for upwards of a month now, so maybe he’s been asking for it. It doesn’t mean she isn’t a pain though.
It looks like that cover recording will have to wait. Not bothering to respond to the message, he begins getting ready to leave the apartment immediately. He hastily pulls on a black cap and face mask to help disguise himself from the general public. It doesn’t matter if his career is long over; a few pictures and he’ll be on the front page of Dispatch within hours. Xiao had to learn the hard way a long time ago.
Judging by the lack of a time and date, Xiao guesses that she’s already waiting for his arrival, counting the minutes to calculate exactly how much mora she’s losing due to Xiao’s commute time. Curse her for taking advantage of his need to be punctual.
* * *
Liyue Harbor is a lovely place... if you don’t stay too long. The unimaginably wealthy city is architecturally beautiful until you eventually grow sick of all the glass and steel. If that isn’t enough, the constant smoke and noise is enough to drive anyone crazy. The city lights at night too; they pollute the once starry night sky until only the most tenacious of stars are visible. But maybe the city’s night lights are what make the city redeemable and alive in the first place.
Despite it all, Liyue Harbor is home. Xiao’s home, miserable as it is.
That’s what he tries to convince himself of as he walks through the city streets, cap pulled down and gaze focused on the concrete. However, the cloudy skies and humid air promising rain aren’t helping his case.
It’s noisy too. So, so noisy. Car engines run ceaselessly. Someone is shouting advertisements on his left. Around him, three conversations are going on at the same time. Someone’s mother just fell sick, exam season is coming up, a family just adopted a dog…
Xiao reaches up and covers his ears. He takes a deep breath. He needed to shut them out.
A voice rings out, clean and pure, and all the voices fall away.
Slowly, Xiao turns his head to the side. He pushes through the crowded street in the direction of the melody, muttering quick apologies as he makes his way towards the voice. It wouldn’t matter if he was a few minutes late to Ningguang’s ridiculous appointment.
When he finally arrives, his breath is stolen away.
If it was even possible, a shaft of sunlight had broken through the cloud cover to shine on a busker in the middle of the street. He’s sitting on a stool amongst various pieces of sound equipment, strumming a guitar as he pours his soul into the microphone in front of him.Xiao can’t get a peek at the singer’s face from underneath his bucket hat; his only identifying features are a delicate physique and twin blue-black braids waving in the wind.
He’s absolutely beautiful. But his voice...
Xiao doesn’t even need to look at him to know that he’s smiling widely— his singing gives it away. Xiao can hear the unadulterated joy in the boy’s voice as he sings, clear and high and true. He sounds as though it is his last day on this star. As if he wants to spend his last few minutes alive here, in the middle of archon-forsaken Liyue Harbor, singing his heart out for the world to hear.
For a moment, his voice feels like a comfort in an unforgiving world, a soft breeze affectionately ruffling Xiao’s hair as he listens in awe. The melody crescendos, his vocals swelling with hope. It was almost as if he’s reassuring Xiao, singing that:
You are not alone.
He stands there, transfixed, enraptured by the busker’s music. How had he forgotten? How did he let himself forget?
He looks at the busker and sees… himself. It’s a fleeting vision of Xiao from long forgotten trainee years, singing on the street for anyone who bothered to listen. Happy, unburdened, free. A long lost passion, an unattainable dream…
And then it’s gone.
Before he knows it, the busker ends the song with a few more strums and a small hum. The crowd claps enthusiastically, cheering for another song. At that, the boy brightens, flourishing a hand to his audience. “Coming right up!”
Snapping out of his trance, Xiao remembers Ningguang’s appointment with an internal curse. It takes all of his will power and a silent promise to return to get himself to reluctantly tear his eyes away and begin walking again.
As he leaves, it feels like Xiao is already beginning to miss someone he never even knew.
* * *
It isn’t his first time here, but Xiao can’t help but look up at the Qixing Entertainment Building in awe, gaping at its sheer size and opulence. It dwarfs all the buildings around it, looking rather haughty with its cleanly polished glass panels and sleek steel architecture. Bold, golden letters that read QIXING are emblazoned in its top right corner. It suits Ningguang, and definitely lives up to the nickname of “Jade Chamber”. Exactly what she would go for.
If the outer appearance of the building doesn’t say enough about Ningguang, the inside certainly does. As Xiao steps through the revolving door, he can't help but note that the white plush chairs and extravagant ornamentation makes the entertainment building’s lobby look more like the entrance hall of a luxury hotel.
Eyeing the receptionist and staff warily, Xiao states, “I’m here to see Ningguang. She should know I’m coming.”
The staff gives no indication that they heard Xiao speaking informally about the CEO. Instead, the lady behind the counter, name tag reading Baiwen, calls her and explains the situation. After a few yes ma’ams and small nods, Baiwen gestures that he has been cleared to go up and see her. On the 19th floor, according to another staff member. What the hell is wrong with her?
Xiao is prepared to wait for an elevator and suffer before he is notified that she has her own restricted elevator too, going straight from the ground floor to the top. She must’ve struck it big to have done all this remodeling since he had been an artist here. Xiao can only shake his head, half in amazement and half in exasperation, as he makes his way up with a press of a button. When the elevator arrives with a little ding, Xiao walks out with a small sigh, removing his cap and face mask. Thankfully he has no need to hide his face in front of her.
Crossing the hall with a few quick strides, Xiao twists the knob and opens her door. Her office is ironically quite a bit simpler than the lobby. Mahogany shelves line the edges of the office and are filled with books, files, and… an aquamarine porcelain vase that looks rather out of place.
Behind her is the Jade Chamber Intel Wall, infamous within the industry. The seemingly messily strung pages on the wall contain invaluable information on just about everything, ranging from promising artists to up-and-coming trends. Unmatched intel that others would probably kill for. It’s the kind of mess that only Ningguang can decipher— there is certainly a method to her madness. This building is living proof of it.
The CEO herself, immaculate white blazer and all, sits behind a desk the same color as the shelves, idly twirling a ridiculously ornamented smoking pipe between her fingers. Her ring and pinky fingernails are topped with long, gold acrylics honed to a wicked point. The others were painted a simple black. He can’t fathom how she manages to live with those, but, to each their own.
“You’re late,” is her only greeting.
“You never specified a time.”
“I didn’t,” she affirms with a small smirk, finally setting the pipe on the mess of papers scattered across her desk. It is the only messy space in the whole room. To her credit however, Ningguang looks as unruffled as ever, even if her workspace screams that she is overloaded with work. “I won't charge you this time,” she adds, like the thought is supposed to be reassuring.
“You must really be in a twist if you called me directly. What does the CEO of Qixing want with me?” Xiao asks with a huff, sitting down in the cushioned chair provided to him. “No middle men? No formalities? Through text no less… This is awfully direct of you.”
Ningguang only nods, pressing her fingers together in front of her lips. “Since you’re so incredibly observant, I’ll do you a service and get straight to the point.” Ningguang leans forward, resting her elbows on the mahogany desk. Her light red eyes narrow as she looks Xiao up and down appraisingly. “Come back to Qixing Entertainment.”
“No.”
Ningguang presses on, ignoring his blunt answer, “Didn’t you want more than just posting instrumental song covers on a YouTube side channel? You and the rest of the members of YAKSHA wanted to change the world with music, to inspire with your voices, with your energy. Don’t you still carry that dream Xiao? Qixing Entertainment can offer you that reach. You’ll never get far riding the coattails of a long-dead career.”
“I already told you,” Xiao practically snarls, digging his fingers into his palms until small crescents appear on his skin. “I have no desire to go back to that world. I’ve told you before, and I’ll tell you again. I’m done. There’s nothing left for me in singing.”
“Then where will you go? What will you do? Model? Act? Try to grow YouTube? How will you use your connections? Do they compare to what you’d get here? You’re bright, and you know the industry. There’s no point in asking you these questions if you already know the answers. So why do you refuse every time?” Her voice is piercing, her eyes darting across Xiao’s face as if calculating the profits of every prospect she had just named. None were as fruitful as Xiao returning to the industry. To Qixing.
“They’re dead. They’re all dead and it’s my fault,” Xiao says tightly. “I won’t do this without them. I can’t do this without them.”
At that, Ningguang finally sits back, lacing her fingers together in her lap with a sigh. She stares at him, not bothering to hide her disappointment as she says flatly, “We’ve known each other for a long time Xiao, and giving up is not like you. You’ve changed.”
“I have,” he agrees, standing up abruptly and putting his cap and face mask back on as he moves towards the office door. It was a mistake to come to her office, to tempt himself like this.
Ningguang stands up to follow, quickly snatching a card from the neat stack on her desk. She stops in front of him, leaving him a few feet from the sweet, sweet exit he looks at in longing. Damn her.
“At least take my business card. Come back in case you change your mind. My door will always be open for you.”
Xiao takes the business card with a sigh, if only to prevent her from hounding him even more than she already did. “Thanks for the offer. I’m leaving, have a good day.”
Ningguang steps aside. Her gaze is fixed on him as he opens the door to leave, “You too. Thank you for coming.”
Xiao doesn’t even wait to hear her words as he rushes back to the elevator, mashing the down button too many times to count. Once he’s inside, he taps his foot impatiently, checking his phone to watch the minutes pass by. It’s already been so long since he listened to that busker, but if there’s even a possibility that he is still there...
Once he pushes through the revolving doors of the Qixing building, Xiao breaks into a flat out sprint. He doesn’t know how long the busker will stay there for, but considering the fact that it is almost time for lunch, he doubts it will be for much longer. There’s no time to spare.
A couple people bark curses at him as he pushes through the lunchtime commute crowd. He’s already arrived at the street, and as he finally makes it to the place the vocalist was performing—
Nothing. No one. Silence. The boy had already gone.
Xiao’s heart clenches as he rubs the back of his neck with a frustrated sigh. Gone. He had already gone, of course he had. There was no real reason for him to stay.
It isn’t a big deal, Xiao can come back and find him another day. He knows where he will be, and that’s all that really matters.
* * *
Xiao returns to that spot everyday at the same time, sometimes more if he could, but the busker was never there. Without fail, his hopes are dashed every time.
But today is the seventh day, and Xiao is willing to try anything. The solution has been in front of him the entire time; he is just reluctant to face it. Ningguang’s offer still stood. She would no doubt be able to find something on such a promising musician, but knowing her, it would come at a price. Xiao knew what she would name.
It isn’t just that though. He’d be lying to himself if he denies that he wants to go back. Even if it makes him feel guilty beyond belief, music is something he will never, can never, let go of. The instrumental covers he clings to so desperately are a sorry replacement for what he used to do.
And maybe… maybe Xiao misses the crowds. The fans. The applause, the cheers, the praise. The pride he had in his success, and YAKSHA’s success. Is it selfish to live that life again?
With a mental fuck it, Xiao turns on his heel and runs.
He barges back into the Qixing Entertainment building with no warning, only bothering to hold up Ningguang’s business card between his pointer and middle fingers when frightened staff members attempt to stop him.
Ningguang only raises an eyebrow when a panting Xiao slams her door open. “Back so soon? I expected you to take at least another month given how you’ve been ignoring me,” she says pointedly, finishing off one of the documents on her desk with a flourished signature.
“I’ll do it.” Xiao forces out, slamming a pen on the desk. He ignores Ningguang’s vaguely surprised stare, eyes darting to the papers laid out in front of her, “Which one of those is mine.”
“I didn’t expect that I would persuade you so easily,” Ningguang responds in amusement, resting her chin in her free hand. “What’s the hurry?”
The artist only gives her a withering glare, “It was no thanks to you. I have a condition though. I won’t sing. I’ll sign under you as a producer. Nothing more.”
At that Ningguang only sighs. “I’ll take what I can get, whatever that might be.” She probably thought she could convince him eventually. How conniving. She pulls out a black binder from her drawer, quickly marking changes in the documents and highlighting a few lines before handing it over to Xiao. “Sign your initials next to each mark. Signatures on highlighted lines. You know the drill.”
“There’s more. I need to find someone.”
At that, Ningguang wears an expression of genuine curiosity, “Find someone? For what?”
“Nothing. I… I just want to meet them.”
She looks a bit unsatisfied with that answer, but shrugs and points at the Intel Wall behind her with the tip of her pen. “You’ll have access to my resources and network. Do you want me to review it with you?”
Xiao begins skimming and signing the document without hesitation. He had already read it a dozen times, thanks to Ningguang’s almost daily emails. However, the CEO doesn’t need to know that. She’d never let him live it down. “Your contracts with me have always been fair in the past. I’ll trust you. Even with your unquenchable thirst for mora.”
She has the nerve to look mildly offended, as if Xiao’s statement is even remotely untrue. “If all it takes to be as successful as me is a thirst for mora, you wouldn’t find a single poor man in the world,” she says dryly, picking up her smoking pipe and twirling it on her pointer finger. “There are more important things in life, even for me.”
“Mhm,” Xiao hums, unconvinced, continuing to stubbornly avoid her gaze as he finishes up reviewing and initialing the marked bits on the papers.
“I want the best for you Xiao. You’ve always known that-”
“Okay I’m going to go now. See you.” The binder clatters onto the desk as Xiao interrupts her and practically rushes out of the office. He pulls his cap down to hide the light blush dusting his cheeks. How does she say such embarrassing things with a straight face?
“Goodbye Xiao.”
* * *
Only moments after Xiao enters the elevator, his phone starts buzzing relentlessly. He narrows his eyes in suspicion, pulling it out to see what the hell has happened to cause such a disturbance. Upon skimming through a few messages and story posts, Xiao groans in annoyance.
Ningguang had already ordered some poor intern to put the announcement up on the company’s social media page. Old, unreleased solo photoshoot pictures from his previous term at the company, pre-edited and ready to post as if she fully anticipated him to accept her offer. Figures.
Even if Xiao isn’t one of her artists, she clearly intends to milk his “debut” as much as she can. Money-grubbing boss. This is a problem he will have to deal with another time.
On his way back home, Xiao can’t help but wander back to the busy street where he first witnessed that performance. Gazing at the empty spot where the musician had once set up his equipment makes Xiao feel inexplicably lonely.
It’s the same city. The same weather. The same smoke. The same noise.
But something is missing now.
I will find you. I swear it.