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“We have to go!” He held out his hand to the purple haired boy, desperation flashing in his maple eyes.
“I...want to. I really do.” The ‘but’ in his voice went unspoken, but it was all too clear.
Kazuha sighed, his eyes falling to the floor. “We can’t stay much longer. You know that. Things are only getting worse.”
“I know,” he said back, biting his lip. “But...I want to, I promise, Kazuha, I want to. I want to leave with you. I do.”
“Okay.” Kazuha sighed in determination, smiling at his friend. “I’ll set the preparations, okay? I know someone with a ship we can take. I can hold her off for a bit. We can wait a little longer before we go.”
“Okay. I...look forward to it.”
“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow then, Aster Blossom.”
Even as his lifelong friend smiled at him as he walked away, the boy knew he was lying. Leaving, for Kazuha, was a necessity to his livelihood, his survival even.
Leaving, for him, would be a death sentence.
****
“C'mon! We need to go. This is our last chance to leave!” Kazuha looked to his friend, pleading with his eyes. “Please.”
“Inazuma has gotten worse. I’m tired of fighting our way out of everything. I can’t leave, Kazuha. I'm sorry. Besides...no one will care if I die here. It’s better that way.” He smiled softly to himself.
“What are you saying?! You want me to leave you here so you can die?” Kazuha scoffed, rolling his eyes. “That’s ridiculous. What happened to always staying together? We promised that no matter what happened, we’d always be together.”
“I know. I...I’ll join you soon, I promise. Go, Kazuha, please. I need you to be safe.” The boy reached for his friend’s hand, worrying his lip before bringing his indigo eyes to meet the red eyes of the one person he truly loved. “So go, Kazuha. I’ll leave as soon as I can.”
Kazuha sighed, squeezing his old friend’s hand. “Okay. Okay, I’ll go. I’ll have Captain Beidou keep an ear open for when you’re ready to join me, alright?”
“Of course.”
The white-haired boy pulled his purple-haired friend into a hug, squeezing him tightly. “Promise you’ll answer my messages?”
“As soon as I get them,” he agreed. Kazuha released him and looked over the face of his best friend one more time. “Go. You’re going to miss the ship.”
He nodded and turned to leave, the sleeve on his left arm, rustling as he did. “I’ll miss you, my Aster blossom.”
“And I you. Now go!” The boy laughed, pushing his friend’s shoulder. “I want to see you off before curfew.”
Kazuha grinned at his friend before running off to the ship. “We leave at sundown, okay? Come say goodbye!”
“I will,” he promised. Even as he said it, he knew his words were empty.
****
Kazuha sighed, resting his head in his hands as he looked over the side of the ship.
“Hey kid,” Beidou said, ruffling his hair. Kazuha smiled her.
“Captain! What can I do for you?”
“Nothing. Just wanted to see how you’re doin’. You’re out here all alone. Why don’t you come have a drink with the crew, hmm?” Beidou slung her arm over his shoulder.
“Ah...I’d like to. But I can’t, unfortunately. I’m waiting for a message.” Kazuha looked over the waters of the ocean wistfully.
“I know how that goes. My girlfriend and I try to send messages as much as we can but the sea...isn’t great for that. Who are you trying to reach? An old girlfriend maybe?” Beidou grinned.
Kazuha’s face turned red. “N-no, nothing like that. My Aster Blossom is just a friend. An old one, at that. I haven’t seen him in very long and I’ve been waiting to hear from him but…”
“Sure, just a friend, of course.” Beidou laughed. “Still no responses, then?”
“Not in a while. The last I had heard from him was that he had found his way to the Fatui as a Harbinger.”
“Yikes. Sorry, kid. Maybe you’ll hear from him soon. Though even if you do, maybe it’s best to stay away from the Fatui.” The captain sighed. “Alright. I need a drink. Come down when you’re ready.”
Kazuha nodded and looked back to the ocean, hoping to see a bottle floating across the waters.
Wherever you are, I’m waiting for you, Aster Blossom. I promise. And when I find you, I will never let you go again.
****
Scaramouche grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Moya Tsaritsa, you know I would do anything for you, but Inazuma is dangerous. You can’t be serious about stationing us there. It will be our death sentence.”
“Then you will die,” the Tsaritsa said coldly. “Either you take her Gnosis or you die trying. What does any means necessary mean to you, Balladeer? Have you forgotten the promises you swore to me when I so kindly let you into my home?”
“N-no, of course not, but Moya Tsaritsa, Inazuma is...if I go there, the Raiden Shogun will hunt me down. Could you possibly send any other Harbinger?”
“Are you questioning me, Balladeer? You, who are nothing. You, who came to me. Begged me to give you refuge. Pleaded with me to save you, to grant you asylum, my protection. Everything you have, everything you are, is because of me. You will do as I say. Or you will not live past this meeting. Be thankful I have even allowed you to speak to me.”
“I am, of course I am! I apologise for my insolence, Moya Tsaritsa. I will...go to Inazuma, if it is what you so wish. I will take the Eternal One’s Gnosis and hand-deliver it to you.” Scaramouche knelt to the ground, once again swearing his fealty to his sovereign.
“Leave me.”
“Yes, Moya Tsaritsa.” Scaramouche bowed again and backed out of the throne room, keeping his eyes on the floor.
He stormed through the palace halls and into the training ground. He summoned his catalyst and it appeared, floating loosely beneath his palm. With a shout of rage, Electro arched off his body and destroyed the dummies surrounding him. He continued to harshly beat up the dummies, replacing them with Fatui Agents when they ran out.
Eventually he grew tired, sweat dripping from his brow as he breathed heavily. Small sparks of Electro bounced off and around him, shocking the air.
Archons, he needed a drink.
****
Kazuha sighed, stretching his arms above his head. The taverns in Snezhnaya were at least good for some hard liquor, if nothing else. A shame his other party members were too busy to enjoy it.
He lazily looked around the tavern once more. Even though the alcohol was rather nice, he was quickly growing bored of it. As his eyes came back to his cup, something caught his attention and his head whipped around. Kazuha stood up quickly, walking over the man he had seen.
“It’s...you.” Kazuha reached out to his childhood friend, a smile growing on his face.
Scaramouche’s grimace faltered, surprise overtaking him. He quickly corrected it, scowling. “I don’t know who you are but speaking to me was a mistake. I’m Scaramouche, 6th of her Majesty the Tsaritsa’s Harbingers. Even the sound of my name strikes fear into men’s hearts.”
Kazuha blinked in confusion. “I know.”
“Then you know not to mess with me,” Scaramouche snarled.
“No, no! You misunderstand. You got my letters didn't you? You stopped answering so I wasn’t sure…”
“I didn’t get any letters. And I still don’t know who you are.” Scaramouche maintained his cold front but panic coursed through his veins. He thought he had escaped his past and yet here it was...catching up to him.
“Of course you do,” Kazuha said, laughing. “Here, come with me so we can speak freely.” He grabbed Scaramouche’s arm. The harbinger voiced his discontent but allowed himself to be dragged along.
Eventually they reached a small hotel.
“I am not going in there.” Scaramouche crossed his arms, making a face.
“Oh, calm down. It’s really not that bad. No worse than anything we’ve seen before.”
Scaramouche sighed dramatically and let Kazuha pull him inside and into the sailor’s room.
“Why are we here, Kazuha?” Scaramouche asked, tapping his foot against the floor.
“Oh, so you do remember!” Kazuha grinned.
“Fine, yes. I remember you, of course I do. I can’t say something like that out in public. You’re a weakness.”
“A weakness, you say? Aw, does that mean you still care for me? I’m touched~!” Kazuha laughed, sitting on his bed and motioning for Scaramouche to do the same. The Harbinger made another face and slowly sat down, as though he were afraid something would bite him.
“No. I never said I cared about you. But if any of my enemies found out about you, then they’d use you against me. They’d kill you.”
“Would that be so bad?” Kazuha let himself fall back onto the mattress, a small leaf materialising above his fingers.
Scaramouche looked at him, eyes wide. “Of course.”
“Mm. How sweet. Just like you always were, hmm?”
“No.” Scaramouche looked away. “I’m different. I’ve changed, Kazuha, for the worse. I’ve abandoned everything that made me the boy you knew.”
“No, I don’t believe that,” Kazuha replied. He absentmindedly took Scaramouche’s hand, keeping his eye on the leaf floating above his fingertips. “I can see you in there, the real you. You’re still my friend, my darling sweet-”
“Don’t say it,” Scaramouche murmured. “My name is Scaramouche. Balladeer, if you’d rather. But not that.”
“Whatever you want. I still think those are ridiculous names.”
“You would,” Scaramouche muttered, rolling his eyes. “Why are you here?”
“I’m here with Aether, the travelling outlander. They’ve taken me ‘round Teyvat while I’m on leave from the Crux. Now we’ve come here, to this frigid wasteland, It’s worse here than Dragonspine, really. But we’re here to meet one of their other friends while we work on transport to Inazuma.” Kazuha sighed. “Aether said I might be able to find you here. I’ve been looking since I left Inazuma.”
“Why? You should’ve given up when I stopped replying to your letters. I thought you had after you stopped sending them.” Scaramouche looked down, tightening his fist.
“I never stopped sending them! I’ve sent one every day in hopes you’d reply. But you never did.” Kazuha sat up again. “But I've found you, so it’s okay!”
“No, Kazuha, no. You need to leave. Her Majesty the Tsaritsa means to destroy anything in her path. She’s worried the traveller will stand against her. She means to kill them. You need to go, Kazuha.”
“Then come with me,” Kazuha murmured.
“What?” Scaramouche blinked. “Why?”
“So we can travel! So we can be free! So we can be together.” Kazuha smiled. “I’ve missed you. I was waiting all those years for you. If I’m in danger, then you’re in more. Come with me, Scaramouche, please. Don’t leave me again.”
“I...I can’t. I’m loyal to her. She saved me.”
“I was trying to save you,” Kazuha replied.
“Yes but you’re a fool!” Scaramouche said angrily. “You never could have protected me the way she can! You never could have given me what she did!”
“And what did she give you, exactly?” Kazuha asked.
“Money, power, titles! Everything I could desire is mine. Land, Mora, servants, men and women at my beck and call, all wanting only to please me in any way they can. She gave me her own power, and power over any element I had so chosen. She made me perfect.”
“...but did she give you love?”
“What?” Scaramouche’s head snapped up.
“Does she love you? Does anyone here love you? Love you the way I do, as much as I do?” Scarlet red met dull indigo, love burning in his gaze. Scaramouche looked away.
“Who needs love? I have power.”
“So much like your Queen...but you’re only human. You need love. You can’t be happy without it.” Kazuha squeezed the other man’s hand.
Scaramouche swallowed harshly, a cold sweat pricking his neck. Happiness...how long had it been since he had felt that?
“Come with me, old friend. Please. Let me love you. Let me make you happy again. Have fun again, hmm? Just like old times?” Kazuha smiled.
“I…”
“Just say yes!” Kazuha threw his arm around Scaramouche’s shoulder.
“...I can’t. My answer is no, and that is final.” Scaramouche sighed as Kazuha pouted. “Even if I wanted to, it’s not possible. Her Majesty doesn’t allow us to leave and deserters...are given a fate worse than death. If she ever found me-”
“She wouldn’t,” Kazuha replied quickly.
“You can’t promise that, Scaramouche whispered.
“Scaramouche...my sweet Aster, I will always protect you. Just as I promised. The Samurai Kaedehara, serving the Lord of the asters,” Kazuha said, laughing quietly.
Scaramouche’s face crumpled at the old nickname. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I wish I had come with you, Kiryu.”
“Oh, Aster blossom, think nothing of it. We are reunited and now, I will never let you wilt again.” Kazuha pulled Scaramouche into his arms, hugging him tightly. Scaramouche let out a sob, clinging to Kazuha’s back.
Weakness...the harbinger despised it, had ever since he was little, playing around Inazuma’s streets with his friend. Even then, he demanded to be the most powerful in their play-pretend games. And even then, Kiryu Kazuha had always been able to pull that weakness from him. Play a simple tune, or even just offer him a look, and the small boy would melt in his arms and cry into his friend’s shoulder.
“I will never let you go, I promise it,” Kazuha murmured. Scaramouche nestled his head into Kazuha’s neck, quieting himself. He let himself be held by his old friend, the only who had ever loved him, banishing all other thoughts from his mind.
For now, he just wanted to be with his friend a bit longer before everything came crashing down and everything was ruined. For now, he just wanted to be loved again.