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Phil was outside. It was cold and his hands had gone numb from the snow, but he had no intentions on going back inside anytime soon. There in the snow outside Techno’s home was a letter addressed to him. A letter telling him that he was being challenged for his spot.
A letter telling him that he was too late, he had already lost.
“Phil? What are you doing out here?” Techno’s voice rang from somewhere behind him but he couldn’t bring himself to look up. “Phil?” He could see Techno’s shoes in the snow next to him, but he couldn’t stop thinking about the words on the paper.
Slowly Techno reached for it, pulling it out of his hands and he let him. He had the important parts memorized anyway. He could feel the hand Techno had on his shoulder tighten, and he knew his son had read what he had, the knowledge that their family had gotten smaller and they could have stopped it settling like a stone in their stomachs.
“This can’t be true. They can’t do this, they can’t!” Techno’s tusks were bared and his eyes had shifted from pink to red. His knuckles were white with the grip he had on the handle of his sword, and somewhere in the back of Phils head he thought that he should be concerned, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop the son he had left.
The only son he had left.
As soon as the thought came it was all he could think about and it suddenly felt like he couldn’t breathe. His lungs had constricted and it felt like a hand was clenched around his heart, making it almost impossible for him to breath right.
His only son, the only son left, because he had already lost the other two.
Distantly Phil knew that he should get up, that staying in the snow like this wasn’t good and that Techno needed him. He knew this but he couldn’t bring himself to move or anything. He didn’t realize that he was swaying in the snow till Techno had grabbed him to keep him steady. Techno held onto him and in turn he held onto Techno, doing his best to ground his son and himself.
The entire time all Phil could think was the sound of obnoxious laughter would have made him feel better than anything else could, and yet he had lost the right to that.
The snow was seeping in through his clothes but the cold that came with it could never compare to how Phil felt when reading the words on that stupid, stupid letter.
The letter telling him that Tommy wasn’t his anymore, and that he never would be again. He had lost all rights to Tommy and he never even got a chance to fight for him, because this letter came too late, the date on the top sealing his and his son's fate.
He would never have the chance to fly Tommy through the air and hear his yelps of joy, or hear Techno begrudgingly giving into Tommy. The days when he could fondly watch as his youngest son grew up but yet still came running to Phil whenever he got hurt were over and had been for quite some time and he hadn’t noticed.
All he could do was sit and try to keep his head above water as the wave of grief and guilt ravaged him, all while asking himself why didn’t he do more? Where did he go so wrong with his boys?
When the wave had finally simmered down for it to be manageable, to not be the only thing he could think about, he picked himself up slowly. Still swaying on his feet, he took one step at a time while carrying the one son he had left inside, careful not to fall into the snow.
He had a sinking suspicion that if he did fall he wouldn’t be able to get back up. Not this time.
One step at a time a grieving father and his son made their way into a tiny cottage out in the snow.
In another place, far away from the snowy biome the duo lived in, another father and his adopted son ran outside playing fetch with a dog named Fran, big smiles decorating both of their faces.
In another life a father and his three sons were happy. In this one a father only had himself to blame for the loss of two of his children.
In another life a son would mourn the missing family that had long since betrayed and forgotten him. In this one he smiled with the family that had chosen him above everything else.