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Edgeworth: Well Franziska, I'm going to Los Angeles with you. You know your father primed me for being one of the chief prosecutors for as long as you were in Germany.
Franziska: Look little brother, if you're the Chief Prosecutor, you must know all the detectives.
Edgeworth: I certainly do.
Franziska: You're well aware I've never met a soul. So you will have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who to consider an asset.
Edgeworth: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but it seems to me rather unconventional names are the prerequisite for working for the District Attorney.
Franziska: You mean unusual names?
Edgeworth: Strange names, pun names...like Winston Payne...
Franziska: His brother Gaspen.
Edgeworth: Gaspen Payne...
Franziska: And their Khura'in cousin.
Edgeworth: Khura'in?
Franziska: G’aspen… That’s the same person, isn’t it?
Edgeworth: So it is. Well, let's see, we have a list of detectives for you to meet. Houston Hoo first, Watson Second, Whatshisname is third...
Franziska: That's what I want to find out.
Edgeworth: I said Houston First, Watson Second, Whatshisname is third.
Franziska: Are you the Chief Prosecutor?
Edgeworth: Yes.
Franziska: These detectives helped you in all your past cases too?
Edgeworth: Yes.
Franziska: And you don't know the fellows' names?
Edgeworth: I most definitely know.
Franziska: Well then, who's on first?
Edgeworth: Yes.
Franziska: I mean the fellow's name.
Edgeworth: Houston’s the first.
Franziska: The man first on the list.
Edgeworth Houston.
Franziska: The first detective.
Edgeworth: Detective Houston.
Franziska: The man we are talking to next...
Edgeworth: Houston First!
Franziska: I'm asking YOU who’s on first.
Edgeworth: That's the man's name.
Franziska: That's who's name?
Edgeworth: Not Hugh, Houston.
Franziska: Well, go ahead and tell me.
Edgeworth: That's it.
Franziska: That's who?
Edgeworth: No, Houston. Unless you’re calling him by last name.
Franziska: Look, you know the first detective?
Edgeworth: Certainly.
Franziska: Who's going first?
Edgeworth: That's right.
Franziska: And when the detective gets paid every month, who gets the money?
Edgeworth: Every dollar of it.
Franziska: All I'm trying to find out is the officer’s name.
Edgeworth: It’s as you say. Hoo.
Franziska: The guy that gets...
Edgeworth: That's it.
Franziska: Who gets the money...
Edgeworth: He does, every dollar. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
Franziska: Who's wife?
Edgeworth: Yes. I don’t know how financials work for couples, but is there something wrong with that?
Franziska: Look, all I wanna know is when you check the evidence catalogs, how does he sign his name?
Edgeworth: Ah. Hoo.
Franziska: The guy.
Edgeworth: Hoo.
Franziska: How does he sign...
Edgeworth: That's how he signs it.
Franziska: Who?
Edgeworth: Yes.
Franziska: All I'm trying to find out is what's the gentleman’s name first on our introduction list.
Edgeworth: No. Watson is second detective.
Franziska: I'm not asking you who's second.
Edgeworth: Hoo’s first.
Franziska: One officer at a time!
Edgeworth: Well, please don't switch the names around.
Franziska: I'm not changing anything!
Edgeworth: Relax, Franziska.
Franziska: You insolent, little—I'm only asking you, who's the man on first?
Edgeworth: That's right.
Franziska: Ok.
Edgeworth: All right.
Franziska: What's the first man’s name?
Edgeworth: No. Watson’s second.
Franziska: I'm not asking you who's second.
Edgeworth: Hoo’s first.
Franziska: I don't know.
Edgeworth: Are you acquainted? He's third, we're not talking about him at the moment.
Franziska: Now how did we get to third?
Edgeworth: Why, you mentioned his name.
Franziska: If I mentioned the third detective’s name, who did I say is third?
Edgeworth: No. Hoo is coming first.
Franziska: What's on first?
Edgeworth: Watson second.
Franziska: I don't know.
Edgeworth: He's third.
Franziska: There I go, back to third again!
Franziska: Would you just pick the third man on the list and don't change it.
Edgeworth: All right, what do you want to know?
Franziska: Now who's the third man?
Edgeworth: Why do you insist on putting Hoo in third place?
Franziska: What’s on third?
Edgeworth: No. Watson’s second.
Franziska: You don't want who on second?
Edgeworth: Hoo is on first.
Franziska: I don't know.
Edgeworth & Franziska together: THIRD!
Franziska: Look, does this precinct have a sergeant?
Edgeworth: Sure.
Franziska: The sergeant’s name?
Edgeworth: Why.
Franziska: I just thought I'd ask you.
Edgeworth: Well, I just thought you’d like the answer.
Franziska: Then tell me who is sergeant.
Edgeworth: Hoo is first.
Franziska: I'm not... stay out of the detectives! I want to know what's the sergeant?
Edgeworth: No, Watson’s second detective.
Franziska: I'm not asking you who's second.
Edgeworth: Hoo’s first!
Franziska: I don't know.
Edgeworth & Franziska together: Third!!
Franziska: Look, if I file evidence to the first officer, it will be assigned. Now who has it?
Edgeworth: Naturally.
Franziska: Who?
Edgeworth: Naturally.
Franziska: Naturally?
Edgeworth: Naturally.
Franziska: So I take the court record and I hand it off to Naturally.
Edgeworth: No you don't, you provide the information to Hoo.
Franziska: Naturally.
Edgeworth: That's different.
Franziska: That's what I said.
Edgeworth: You're not saying it...
Franziska: I give the evidence to Naturally.
Edgeworth: You give it to Hoo.
Franziska: Naturally.
Edgeworth: That's it.
Franziska: That's what I said!
Edgeworth: You ask me.
Franziska: I hand the file to who?
Edgeworth: Naturally.
Franziska: Now you ask me.
Edgeworth: You hand the file to Hoo?
Franziska: Naturally.
Edgeworth: That's it.
Franziska: Same as you! Same as YOU! I hand the case to who. Whoever it is is a bumbling idiot and needs help from the second. Who picks up the file and gives it to What. What passes it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Why, It’s basically already in court. Why? I don't know! He's third and I don't care! I’ll just call them all Dick, or Gumshoe!
Edgeworth: What?
Franziska: I said, I’ll just call him Gumshoe!
Edgeworth: Oh, that detective is assigned to you.