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When Sasha returned Not-Sasha was faced with something she would much rather prefer to ignore. One has very little time to ponder themself when they live the lives of others, changing identity as easily as one may change clothes. It’s what the Not-Them had always done. From Rose to Carl to Graham to Sasha.
But Sasha came back; granted who really knows how much of her is truly still Sasha and how much is the spiral. Regardless, she came back and now Not-Sasha couldn’t be Sasha anymore.
The name was easy enough to sort out, within days of Sasha’s return they had gone from Mimic to Mina. It grew in a way that felt natural, allowing them to shift into the title instead of adjust all at once.
Then there came the question of pronouns.
When one only lived through others it blurred the lines between individuals which certainly didn’t help matters. Mina wasn’t Sasha or Rose, so not a she. Wasn’t Graham or Carl, not a he. Perhaps Mina was an it, that had seemed to be the default between identities. Or did the many lives lend towards a they. Maybe something else entirely.
The question ate at her in a way it’d never expected, but how could they expect it when they’re who had always been made for them.
With a head full of questions Mina decided to look for answers and the archives seemed the best place to start.
——-
“What’s your he to you, Tim?”
He looked at them a moment, before returning his gaze to the kork board he was throwing pens at. “Not much, just what I’m called. It feels comfortable and that’s what most people go with for me so I guess that’s me.”
He turned to face Mina again, a smirk on his face. “But to be honest, I don’t really care.”
——-
“How’d you figure out your identity, Sasha?”
“Oh I never really bothered. Identity is constantly changing, I’ve never bothered sorting through the specifics because once I thought I knew what I was it’d feel wrong. I use she/her because it’s easy, not for any actual connection.”
That made enough sense Mina supposed, but had yet to answer their questions. Even without a shared identity the two served similar enough entities which helped them understand one another, unfortunately neither entity was fond of clear answers.
——-
“Martin, how did you know you’re a he?”
The question seemed to startle him out of his tea making daze, if only for a moment.
“It just… felt right I s’ppose.” He carefully placed Mina’s tea on the table and sat down on the other side. “Nothing really felt like it fit until I thought ‘hey, maybe I’m a guy’ and I realized that was me.”
Mina took a sip of tea, nodding at him to continue.
“I mean, course I still doubt it sometimes, especially back then but, it’s who I am and I know that now.”
Mina nodded again.
——-
“Jon, can I ask you something?”
Jon looked up from his papers, glasses almost sliding off his nose. “Of course, come in.”
Mina shut the door to the office and took a seat in the chair across from Jon. “How did you find the right pronouns?”
Jon had perched his head on his hands and his brow furrowed, looking at the desk like it’d have the answer.
“It took a long time and I never really had a light bulb moment, it was just that as I grew I knew myself better. Non-binary is the label that fits best and I mainly use he/him since those are what I’m most comfortable with. It was really just trial and error. Why do you ask?”
“Trying to figure that out for myself.”
“I see, have you considered neopronouns?”
——-
Mina left that conversation knowing two things about itself that they didn’t know before. One, they thought fae/faer sounded pretty and would inevitably lead to even more changeling jokes. And two, per was not something that fit her.
——-
Asking Breekon and Hope had really only been about the principal of the thing, Mina already knew how they would answer.
They were one being that was viewed as a he the rare times they were separate.They told Mina as much.
For a moment he pondered if Sasha could be it’s other half, they had shared an identity after all, but they were separate beings not two halfs of a whole like Breekon and Hope.
“Could be you’re not any of ‘em.”
“Or maybe you’re all of it, can’t really say.”
“That’s the problem! How can I tell what my who is when I don’t have a who?”
“Why’d you wanna find a who?”
“You planning on keeping that face for awhile?”
“I guess.” Mina dragged their hands down their face. “I’m gonna stick around the archives for a bit at least.”
They nodded, still looking down at the packages the had been packing.
“Do ya like she?”
“No point keeping it otherwise.”
“It feels fine but I’m not Sasha anymore-“
“Didn’t ask about Sasha.”
“Asked ‘bout you.”
Mina sighed. “She feels fine but it doesn’t feel different then anything else.”
“Maybe it doesn’t matter then.”
“If it’s all the same why’re you fussin?”
“Because I’ve always known, I’ve always had a who but now I don’t!”
“You’ve always changed the who.”
“Why stop now.”
That was something she hadn’t considered, the Stanger didn’t work in stagnant identities, it ebbed and flowed, morphing to fit the gaps. That’s what they’d always done.
She fits her just fine but that itself doesn’t make her anything. She could have a who without stagnation. Genderfluid. That’s what she could be.
“I think I‘ll use she for now.”