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I feel something so right
By doing the wrong thing
And I feel something so wrong
By doing the right thing
I didn’t realize how how far I had fallen until I reached that fork in the road, and all I saw was black.
When her gold hair emerged from the darkness, it felt like I took a truck to the chest. The group swarmed, every one of them pulling her into themselves. I lost the ability to act without thinking, and disappeared into the shadows.
I imagined her eyes seeking my own from behind Maggie’s enveloping embrace.
I denied myself the joy of imagination. Every touch, every word, I stored it as far down as I could push. I begged the universe to stop me from feeling the burning red imprint that the trace of her fingertips left behind.
I denied it until I couldn’t.
Until she had pressed herself into every crack, and I had no where left to hide. "What are you afraid of?” She finally whispers. The desperation in her voice - illusion or permission?
I can think of a hundred things I’m afraid of. Colourless glints of individual fears dotting the landscape like the ghosts of stars.
Her lips find mine, and I’m a prisoner in my own body. I can’t deserve the yellow happiness that washes over me. The rose-tinted glasses she designs for my very existence feels permanent.
I can’t deserve her, but she’s here. When she’s had enough waiting, all I see is red. The way my body displaces her own is nothing short of blinding. Strong and passionate, it is a red like no other I’ve ever seen in nature. Every memory before her is washed out and grey-scaled.
Now she fills me with a kaleidoscope of colours, and I know it’s exactly as it was meant to be.