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Xiao despised Childe. He hated how the Snezhnayan’s red hair sticks out like a sore thumb, making him hard to miss. He hated how Childe is always so eager to fight him even though he has been given strict orders by his boss to not indulge in the other’s bloodlust. He hated how Childe is always hanging off of Zhongli; draping himself over the Liyuen’s back, curling himself against Zhongli’s sides. attaching himself to Zhongli’s arm. He hated how he didn’t take his chance to shoot the Snezhnayan the moment he stepped foot in Liyue. He hated the moment Zhongli chose to spare Childe’s life despite knowing the male’s intention for stepping foot in Liyue is to spy on their syndicate.
And as he stood in front of the amusement park’s ticket booth with Liyue’s summer sun shining down on him, making his bangs stick to his face and beads of sweat rolled down his neck, Xiao wanted so badly to take his pocket knife out and jab it on the lady behind the booth’s hand. Or perhaps he should drag the lady out by her hair and do the booking himself.
Why was she so flustered? He just wanted to book the entire park for the entire day. Is that so weird? With an annoyed twitch of his eye as he was redirected to the park’s manager regarding his request, Xiao decided that he no longer despised Childe. He absolutely hates him.
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It was dark by the time Xiao arrived back home. He wanted nothing more but to disappear into his room and succumb to sleep. But alas, he still needed to report back to Zhongli. Archons above, give me the patience. Lightly banging his forehead against the nearby wall as he ignored the concerned glances he received from the other agents, he begrudgingly made his way towards Zhongli’s office.
Xiao stood in front of the wooden door and gave exactly three knocks. After the incident from a few months back where he supposes the couple missed his knocks, he was welcomed to the sight of Childe on his knees in front of Zhongli’s work table with Zhongli’s hands buried in his hair and the distinct smell of sex lingering in the air. Xiao had never left a room so quickly and he refused to look at the two in the eyes for a whole week.
One. Two. Three. Wait for five seconds.
The first one is traditional, but two and three are for people to get their pants on. The five seconds is for extra precautions.
Opening the door and entering Zhongli’s office, Xiao had to suppress the groan threatening to to leave him as he saw Childe sitting on Zhongli’s lap like he belonged there, the collar he remembered buying when the Snezhnayan first joined their syndicate wrapped snugly around his neck.
“It’s done, boss.”
“Thank you, Xiao,” Zhongli says, tearing his eyes away from the paper in front of him and tightens his arm around Childe’s waist, pressing his nose on the side of the other’s neck, “Also, please tell everyone to clear their schedules this Wednesday. Everyone is coming, tell Ganyu that, too. Double check whether or not she has cleared her schedule, I don’t want her to be taking work when we go for our outing.”
“Oh, my love, can Xiao even enjoy the amusement park? With his lack of height and all?” Childe chirped, a lopsided grin taking over his features as he leaned his head atop of Zhongli’s, fingers carding through the other male’s dark locks. The smug grin on Childe’s was enough to make Xiao want to throw the red-hair out the window and feed his corpse to the dogs.
My love. My love. Is a former Harbinger even capable of love?
“Keep talking, scum. We’ll see whether or not you will be able to enjoy the amusement park when I break your legs,” Xiao seethes, choosing to ignore the light chuckles escaping Zhongli and the way Childe’s shoulders shook with laughter as he chose to exit the room, the next few exchange of words from the couple falling on deaf ears.
“Fight me, Xiao!”
“Ajax, behave.”
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Today’s the day.
Xiao doesn’t know whether he should be happy and glad that Zhongli decided to give everyone a day off at the amusement park, giving them a sense of normalcy in their field of work or worried that Zhongli even considered going to an amusement park; somewhere so out in the open. A plain black shirt and ripped jeans with a cap over his head, Xiao can’t remember when was the last time he dressed so casually that wasn’t work-related.
Was it a year ago? Three? Or was it before Zhongli found him in that alleyway all those years ago? Xiao frowned at the thought, tucking the front of his shirt in as well as his pocket knife before exiting his room.
“Ajax, give me the gun.”
“What the fuck– no! I need it.”
Well, this was an interesting sight.
If he was anyone else, he would’ve thought that the bickering couple was about to kill each other or jump one another but Xiao has seen this numerous times before he doesn’t even bat an eyelash when he saw Zhongli pushing Childe’s plain shirt up, exposing the male’s chest and weapon holster, successfully snatching the gun away before he turned the Snezhnayan around, patting down his back to retrieve the gun Childe usually has on his small of the back holster.
“Your spare gun, hand it over.”
“Wait– What? Why are you stealing another man’s gun? Rude, Zhongli, rude. Give that back!”
“No. Now give me your pocket knife and take off that knife garter, you won’t need it. Don’t even think about bringing that razor. Is that everything?”
“Archons, yes.”
“You’re lying. Give me your taser.”
“Zhongli, how the fuck am I supposed to kill someone if they jump us? Do you want me to punch them to death?”
“No, I don’t want you to kill anyone period,” Zhongli says with an exasperated sigh as he set all the weapons he had temporarily confiscated from the red-head aside, “Ajax, we’re going to an amusement park that I booked out for the whole day. Each staff is going to be guarded by one of our agents, our chefs are coming over to cook for us, both Xiao and Ganyu will have eyes on us at all times, we are going to be fine,” Zhongli reasoned, his hands moving up to cup Childe’s cheeks and lands a quick kiss to the male’s lips.
Xiao could only watch in silence from a distance before he cleared his throat, causing both males to turn their heads towards him, “The bus just left with the guys a few minutes ago and they should have everything set up by the time you two arrive.”
“You really going to have eyes on us at all times?” Childe questioned, a small frown on his face as Xiao could see how the male’s fingers visibly twitched on its hold on the hem of Zhongli’s shirt. He’s nervous. What a sight to see, Tartaglia, the man everyone in their line of work feared is nervous.
“Yes. Zhongli can’t pay me if he’s dead,” Xiao says with a small scoff. He may despise Childe, but he can’t deny the fact that the Snezhnayan made Zhongli happy, and for Zhongli, he’s willing to try to be nice, “And I can’t spar with you if you’re dead.”
The soft chuckle and the lopsided grin that took over Childe’s features were all Xiao needed to figure that his words calmed the other man enough for them to finally leave their fortress they called home.
( “Zhongli, his hairpin is actually a weapon; it’s a poisoned needle.”
“Xiao you fucking traitor!” )
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Childe was in the bathroom when Xiao was left alone with Zhongli in the food court area (the Snezhnayan had accidentally ingested dairy, forgetting that he was lactose intolerant).
“Your frown is deeper than usual. What’s bothering you, Xiao?”
“It’s nothing, boss.”
“I’ve told you multiple times that you don’t have to refer me as such.”
“Old habits die hard, I guess.”
“Hm, I see. But still, tell me, what’s bothering you?”
Here goes nothing.
“How did you do it?”
“Pardon? I don’t seem to understand your question.”
“How did you manage to fall head over heels for that scumbag? No offense, but he’s an idiot.”
The answer that he got was an unexpected one. Because instead of scolding Xiao for badmouthing his lover, Zhongli laughed so hard, Xiao was worried he was going to topple off the chair.
“You’re right,” Zhongli managed to say between his laughs as he calmed himself down, “He is an idiot. He is also very stubborn and short-tempered, he’s caring and aloof.”
Maybe it was the way Zhongli’s brows furrowed as he thinks of the words he wanted to say or maybe it was the silly love-struck smile Zhongli always has on his face whenever Childe is involved, Xiao’s not sure, but one glance at the taller male, he knew that Zhongli was far from finished.
“Did I ever tell you about the time he nearly stabbed Barbatos’ lieutenant in the eye because he kept staring at him? Or the time he got so mad at a customer service lady because she kept putting him on hold he started cursing at her in snezhnayan? What about his bow and arrow phase? Where he refused to bring any other weapon with him because he wanted to perfect his archery skills. He ended up with a broken arm and a bruised rib because he got ambushed.”
Xiao was once again rendered speechless at what Zhongli said. Sure, he had never bothered to get to know Childe more than what was needed; why he wasn’t to call him by his given name unless he was permitted to, the Snezhnayan’s preferred weapons, allergies, and his limitations if it even existed.
Is this what being hopelessly in love is? The shorter male wondered as he saw how a soft smile graced Zhongli’s usually stoic face.
“He cares about you, you know.”
“What?”
“I never told you and I know Ajax will deny it if you ask him but remember when you were assigned to watch over our brothels and casinos at Qingce? He asked for you almost everyday and he would linger around training grounds at night, cleaning your guns and knives.”
“He did that? I always assumed it was the other agents.”
“Yes. He actually scared all the newer agents away from the task and did it himself,” Zhongli says with a laugh as he leans back against his seat, taking a drink from his canned drink, “To tell you the truth, I wanted to break him at first; to break Tsaritsa’s favorite boy. I wanted to conquer the feared Tartaglia, the Tsaritsa’s loyal watchdog, I wanted to see the light leave his eyes when I put a bullet on his forehead. But then I saw him. I saw a glimpse of humanity and a twinkle in his dull eyes when I mentioned how his little brother survived. He looked so beautiful, his eyes had never shined so brightly; had never had so much life in them. It was at that moment I knew, I would do whatever it takes to keep the shine in them. And I suppose that’s my answer to your question, I fell for him because he gave me a sense of normalcy in my life, especially when this world is the only world I’ve ever known.”
He loves him.
He was about to say something but the familiar mop of red hair stopped the words from ever leaving his lips as he watched Childe climbed up Zhongli’s face with his nose scrunched up and arms winding around the Liyuen’s neck.
“What were you guys talking about? Seemed so serious.”
“It’s nothing, love.”
“Yeah, it’s nothing.”
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They were sitting on a bench by the fountain. Both Childe and Zhongli had matching headbands and had managed to persuade (force) Xiao to buy one as well to which the shorter male begrudgingly agreed. The peace was broken by the loud ring of Zhongli’s phone. Turns out, Zhongli got a sudden call from an ally in Mondstadt that he had to take. Pressing a quick kiss on Childe’s forehead, the amber-eyed male excused himself, leaving Childe and Xiao alone.
“Hey, watchdog.”
“Archons — will you ever learn to call me by my name?”
“Over my dead body. But I have a question for you.“
“Call me by my name and I’ll answer.“
“How about I don’t stab you with my knife instead. Zhongli may have taken all of your weapons but he didn’t take mine.”
“Okay, okay, fine. What is it?”
“Do you love zhongli?”
“What— what the fuck ar—”
“Answer me. “
“I don’t know.“
“You piece of sh–”
“What is love, Xiao? Do you know? I don’t know much about love; I vaguely remember my parents, I remember how they would kiss me when I fell. The Tsaritsa never did, though. She told me she loved me, but she’d hold a knife against my throat if I fell. She’d dig her heels on my palm, fingers wrapped around my neck and held a gun to my forehead when I failed, and I know she won’t hesitate to lock me up if I ever disgraced her,” Childe started, Xiao can see how his usually composed and carefree front crumbled, giving him a glimpse of Ajax.
“I do know that my heart beats faster when he’s around. He makes me feel safe when he has his arms around me. His face is the last face I want to see before I sleep and the first face I see when I wake. When I see his face— when I see him the world seems to melt away. If he tells me to jump, I would. If he wants me to stop killing and just be his arm-candy; to just sit there and be pretty, I would. I would take a bullet for him because I know he will kill whoever shot me, I know he will catch me before I hit the ground, and I know he will pull me out of deaths’ grip. He made me promise that if I am to die, it would be by his hands. Romantic, eh?” Childe laughed, leaning back against the bench, “If I have good news, I want Zhongli to be the first person I tell. If I’m sad, he’s the only one I want to see. When I’m upset, I want to ring him up and hear him tell me everything’s going to be okay. I want to hold his hand, Xiao. It’s stupid, isn’t it? To want such a mundane thing. I care for him, I have feelings for him, as much as someone like me is capable of feeling. So you tell me, Xiao, do I love him?”
You do.
“Is that what love is, Xiao?”
Childe shot the shorter male the softest smile Xiao has ever seen on the other’s face and before he could even answer, he watched as Childe stood up and walked towards the park’s fountain. Ah, Zhongli is done with his phone call. Xiao watched them, like he always has. He saw how Childe’s usually dull eyes lit up at the sight of Zhongli. He saw how Zhongli–someone who is always so reserved–easily wraps his arms around Childe’s lithe form and presses multiple kisses on the Snezhnayan’s face. Xiao stood up and left the area, giving the couple their privacy.
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The sun had long disappeared by the time they were heading home. Xiao lost rock, paper, and scissors against Ganyu and ended up sharing a car ride home with the couple. The ride back home was quiet, Xiao was seated on the passenger seat and from the rearview mirror, he could see Zhongli asleep with his head on Childe’s shoulder as the other male scrolled through his phone with one hand whilst the other is holding onto the Liyuen’s.
“Childe,” Xiao muttered, noting that this is the first time he had ever referred to the other with his name, and of course, Childe was more than surprised. If the way the other’s eyes widen wasn’t a dead giveaway, Xiao doesn’t know what is.
“Yes?”
“This is what love is, I think.”