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It all started at breakfast. To be honest that's where most arguments start in this house. Half the members of this family can't function without coffee and Tommy usually has too much energy when he wakes up which doesn't end good.
Today wasn't any different. Technoblade entered the kitchen to find his brothers already eating breakfast. He knew Phil already ate earlier cause he was getting ready to leave. He was quite thirsty so he decided to ask Will if he had something. Big mistake.
"Hey Wilbur, you got anything to drink?"
Wilbur looked up from his eggs and bacon. He and Tommy find it very funny to eat bacon in front of him for some reason. Children.
"Yeah, in the fridge"
He walked over to the fridge and opened the door. Quickly scanning what was inside and trying to decide what to drink. Tommy's voice snapped him out of his thoughts.
"Hey Techno, grab me a glass of malk"
Did he hear that right? Did Tommy just say malk? Although he wasn't surprised that the child would want to drink milk first thing in the morning.
"We don't have any malk but I can get you some milk"
"That's what he said"
"Yeah, I just want some malk"
Are they serious? Cause this has to be the worst prank they've ever done. It's more annoying rather than funny. Either way, he chose to play along.
"Nah -- you're saying it wrong -- you're saying malk! Like, like it's a disease"
Wilbur chuckled and Techno never wanted to strangle a person more than he did right now.
"How do you say it?"
"I'm saying it the way everyone says it. Milk. M-I-L-K"
Tommy nodded along with him.
"Right, malk"
"No no no no no say milkshake"
If they want to act like toddlers he is going to treat them like toddlers.
"Milkshake"
"Ok, now say milk"
"Malk"
He turned to Wilbur.
"A-Are you hearing this?"
Why the fuck did Wilbur looked at him like he was crazy. At this point he forgot that this could be a prank and was too focused on trying to prove them wrong.
"Yeah, the child wants a glass of mulk"
Techno was so caught on in what Wilbur just said that he missed Tommy's "I'm not a child, Will. I'm a big man".
"MULK?!??"
Technoblade's sanity is slowing breaking piece by piece. Wilbur slammed his fists at the table and looked at Techno demandingly.
"GIVE HIM THE MULK, TECHNO"
Phil's entered the room and stared at them. He turned to Wilbur.
"Will, inside voices please"
"Sorry, Phil"
And with that he left again. Leaving Techno to deal with whatever this is all by himself. Traitor.
Tommy, who obviously must not have heard what Phil just said, followed Wilbur's example and also slammed his fists at the table. Gathering all the attention. It's a miracle this table is still in one piece.
"TECHNO! POUR ME A GLASS OF MALK"
Tommy just wanted to drink a bit if malk with his breakfast but of course Techno has to make everything difficult.
"Why are you yelling at me?"
"Just give him the fucking mulk!"
Wilbur just wanted to eat his eggs and bacons in peace but of course that can't happen in this fucking house.
"You guys aren't even saying the same thing"
"WE ARE ALL SAYING MALK, TECHNO"
Tommy was almost standing. It makes Techno wonder for a second why he couldn't just go and grab the milk by himself but he ignored it cause he was in an argument that he wanted to win at the moment.
"NO! YOU'RE SAYING MALK! YOU'RE SAYING M-"
Whatever he was about to say to Wilbur was caught off by Tommy being an annoying child.
"MALK!~ MAAAALK!~~~ MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALK!~~ MOOOOOOOOOOOO-"
Techno had enough.
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"
Technoblade pulled a gun out of nowhere and aims it at his head. If he was being honest he didn't even know where he got it. Seeing his action the other two also pull out guns out of nowhere and aim at him.
"YOU BETTER PUT IT DOWN"
"DON'T - DON'T DO IT TECHNO"
"You're gonna shoot me if I shoot myself? That doesn't even make any sense"
His brothers pause for a second, most likely considering his words, and turn the guns to aim them at their own heads.
"TECHNO PUT IT DOWN! PUT THE GUN DOWN"
"TECHNO PUT IT DOWN NOW"
"YOU'RE LIKE A BROTHER TO ME! YOUR CROWN IS LIKE A BROTHER TO ME"
They all started crying and...wait....weren't they actually brothers? He didn't even remember how all of this started.
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"BOYS? WHY DO THE FURNITURE IN THE KITCHEN HAVE HOLES IN THEM?"
Wilbur looked at the others from the place they were hiding in the attic.
"Fuck, he knows"