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The warm night air felt nice against Langa’s cold skin. Not being used to the heat in Okinawa, he usually had the air conditioning on full blast in his room. He had been isolating himself a lot the last few weeks, but it was time to get back out there. It was time to make up with Reki, and while he felt nervous about the upcoming confrontation, his determination to get his friend back overpowered the other feelings.
Despite the two not talking for three weeks now, Langa still took this same path, skating by Reki’s house every single day. Some might have found it creepy, but he hoped that if Reki just caught a glimpse of him skating by, he’d run out and make up. Obviously that never happened, or he’d be in the house right now, sitting by Reki and singing happy birthday horribly off-key.
As he drew nearer to the residence, his stomach starting twisting in knots. Maybe the nerves were catching up to him. Reki didn’t even know he was coming. Would he even talk to him? Or would he be totally pissed? Langa assumed the latter option, but still, he knew this was something that had to be done.
It was Reki’s birthday, and Langa couldn’t stand missing it. That was his best friend and he was supposed to be there, sitting right next to him, celebrating another trip around the sun. Langa really fucked up, and it was finally time to fix it.
Just a few houses away, and Langa could hear music in the distance coming from Reki’s house. Oh god. How many people were there? He wanted to make up, but in front of so many people? What if Reki just totally cusses him out, again, and the situation turns even more sour? For a second, Langa contemplated turning back. The thought left his mind quicker than it came about.
Finally arriving at the house, Langa came to a stop on his skateboard. Staring up at the lit house, hearing the faint music coming from within, he felt frozen. Could he really do this? Of course he could, this was for Reki.
As he made his way up the front steps, his face started feeling hot. His legs felt like they were being tugged down with weights, and his stomach was doing flips. It was three weeks since he got to see Reki other than a quick pass in the school hallway. Reki had even switched classes a few days after the incident. This was serious.
Upon reaching the front door, Langa could hear laughter. More importantly, he could hear Reki’s laughter. Langa could make out that laugh anywhere. It was music upon his ears, Reki’s laugh. And especially when Langa was the one to cause it. Fuck, he was going to ruin his night. Langa was going to burst in there, and Reki would stop laughing. His smiling, happy face would turn into a deathly glare. Was Langa even deserving of an apology?
Maybe it was better for Langa to leave. Tonight of all nights was a horrible idea to show up uninvited. Stop thinking about yourself, Langa. That's what got you into this mess in the first place, Langa thought to himself. Of course he wanted to apologize. All Langa wanted was his best friend back. He didn't want to eat lunch alone anymore. He wanted to watch skating videos and then go to the skate park to try them out. He wanted to hear Reki’s laughter when Langa would wipe out. He wanted to watch Reki work on a skateboard, explaining every small detail that usually went over Langa’s head, but he didn't care because he loved hearing Reki talk about what he was passionate about. But it wasn't fair to spring this onto Reki tonight. It was his fucking birthday.
With a heavy sigh, Langa decided he should leave. Yeah, he came all the way over here, but he was done thinking about himself. He wanted Reki back, but maybe Reki wasn't ready. Maybe Reki would never be okay. If Reki wanted to forgive him, he could come to Langa. As Langa turned around, his heart dropped as he heard the door open, and a draft of cold air conditioning flew past him.
“Langa? Is that you?” a familiar voice spoke, but it wasn't Reki.
Feeling his face turn red, Langa nervously turned around to see Miya standing at the door with a puzzled look. Everyone knew what happened between the two, and despite no one taking sides, Langa could feel a little hostility coming from the younger boy.
“Uh, y-yeah. I, you see, it, uh,” the nerves were in control of Langa’s tongue, and they weren't letting him speak. His face must have been bright red by now. His palms were sweaty, and he was rolling his fingers, trying to get something coherent to come out.
“I didn't know you were invited tonight. I th-”
“I wasn't.” Langa interrupted, swallowing hard. This was a mistake. Oh, this was a huge mistake. He had to leave right now. Why weren't his feet budging?
“Miya! What are you doing?” a voice yelled out. And that voice made Langa’s heart race. It was his voice. The voice he hadn’t heard in three weeks. The voice he missed. The voice he had been longing to hear again. Even if that voice cursed him out right now again, he wouldn't care.
“Oh, um. I heard someone at the door.” Miya looked at Langa with a bit of panic. There wasn't a lie he could come up with to get either of them out of this one. There was about to be a big confrontation.
And Langa’s head began spinning. Why did he come here tonight? He had just heard Reki laughing and having fun, and now he was here to ruin it. Here was Langa, showing his promise-breaking face. On Reki’s birthday. God, he was just the worst.
“Invite them in!” Reki called out again.
“Well, you see-” Miya began.
And then Reki was there. Throwing an arm over Miya’s shoulders, not yet realizing who was at the door. It was just a few seconds, but Langa was going to take it in. It had been even before their last meeting a pt S three weeks ago since he saw Reki happy and smiling like this. And god, he was beautiful. The red tint on his cheeks from laughing so much, his beaming smile, the gleam in his eyes. But then it faded as Reki looked at Langa. And Langa felt like he had been punched in the gut.
There was an awkward silence. Langa stared at Reki, and Reki stared at Langa. Poor Miya was sweating as he stood there, looking back and forth between the two. It felt awkward being there, but it felt more awkward to try and sneak away.
“Reki-”
“Sorry, wrong address.” Reki cut him off as fast he could, getting ready to slam the door shut right in Langa’s pretty face.
Langa pressed his palm against the closing door, pushing against it with all of his might to keep it from slamming. Looking into the amber eyes in front of him, Langa pleaded, “Please, Reki.”
Reki’s eyes weren't filled with anger, oh no, they were filled with something much worse than that- they were filled with hurt. Langa’s stomach was doing knots, but he was determined to make things right with Reki.
After what felt like an eternity, Reki removed his hand from the door. Still not saying a word, he walked away from the door. Langa shared a look with Miya, before stepping inside.
Everyone else was awkwardly mingling on the couch and in the kitchen, talking as if they weren't spying on what was going on. Langa scanned the room for the redhead, but he was nowhere to be seen.
“Langa, hey!” Joe raised a glass to Langa before taking a long sip. He was sitting on the couch, one of his legs crossed over the other. “Long time no see, huh?”
Langa grabbed his arm, rubbing it awkwardly. The room felt tense, and his mouth was dry, too dry to speak. God, he was an idiot for choosing to come here tonight. For some reason he thought it would be easier, he thought if others were around it would be easier to talk to Reki. He was wrong, oh god, he was wrong.
“Reki went out back.” Cherry, who was sitting aside Joe, said before taking a sip of his drink. It was that obvious Langa was looking for him.
Langa chewed in his lower lip. There was still time. He could run out the front door and go home. Langa could pack his bags and cry to his mom about how he missed Canada, and beg her to move them back. No. He couldn't do that to Reki. Reki deserved better.
Balling up his fists, Langa nodded at Cherry before heading to the back door. Through the glass, he could see Reki in his mom’s garden. He was squatting on the ground, hands pressed to his eyes. Fuck, was he crying? Good job Langa, you already made him cry. And shit, it was his fucking birthday.
Langa slowly and quietly slid the door open, closing it so the music would be drowned out. He began making his way to Reki. It was happening. Langa was going to apologize to Reki. It was fine. Everything was fine. Langa was going to apologize, Reki would forgive him, they would make up, and tomorrow things would be normal. Tomorrow Langa could make Reki laugh and watch his eyes light up, his smile beaming. Tomorrow Reki would excitedly pull up videos of tricks he wanted to try with Langa later. Tomorrow Langa and Reki would be friends again, and this would be behind them.
“You fucking asshole!” Reki yelled through teary eyes once he noticed Langa was coming towards him.
Okay, maybe not.
Langa swallowed, his chest felt tight, his heart was racing. Reki was hurting. He was hurting more than Langa even imagined he could be. And that's what was so frustrating. Langa knew what he did was wrong, sure. But for Reki to completely cut him out like this? There had to be something more.
Reki scrambled up to his feet, he wiped some remaining tears from his eyes as he sniffled. He met up to Langa before looking at him with those amber eyes filled with hurt.
“You're an asshole, Langa Hasegawa. What made you think that you could come here after what you did?” Reki said, his voice cracking as he tried not to start crying again. In the whole time Langa had been in Okinawa, he had never seen Reki this distraught.
“Reki-”
“No, I'm not done.” Reki inched closer to Langa, making the space between them smaller. “You broke a promise, Langa. Do you think I'm stupid? Is that what it is? Did you think that I wouldn't see the preliminary races? That, that, that I would be waiting for you at the finish line with open arms? Adam is dangerous , Langa. And you’re-” Reki swallowed hard, the anger in him shifted to a different feeling that Langa couldn’t make out. Opening his mouth to talk again, he froze. Something was keeping him from continuing.
“I don't think you're stupid, Reki. All I can say is that I was only thinking about myself.” Langa admitted, and he saw Reki flinch at the words, almost like they cut him, “I get a thrill racing against Adam. It-it’s exciting.”
“Exciting?” Reki looked at Langa in disbelief. “Skating against Adam is absolutely the most terrifying thing I've ever done, Langa.” Reki swallowed again, making sure the tears in his eyes stayed there and didn't dare fall. “People get hurt when they skate against him. You don't know of him like we do. Just ask Joe and Cherry in there, they founded S with him! He got out of hand. I-” Reki paused and squeezed his eyes shut, “I've already lost one person to skating recklessly. I don't want to lose you either, Langa.”
Those choice of words. I don’t want to lose you. Don’t . Not past tense. Langa hasn’t lost Reki yet. Reki hasn't given up on him yet. Langa pursed his lips together, it was starting to come together.
“That friend you told me about, he got really hurt didn't he?” Langa asked, almost a whisper.
Reki opened his watery eyes again, looking away from Langa. “One too many accidents. One very risky trick that he hadn't perfected. Skating was all he and I had in common, so when he had to step off the board for good, well, I lost him all together.” his amber eyes finally met blue, “I can't go through that again, Langa.”
Seeing Reki so emotional made Langa’s heart ache. He couldn't bear the fact that he had hurt Reki this badly. How could he have done such a thing? Reki was incredible. Reki was the kindest, sweetest person he ever met. Reki always made sure everyone was okay. Reki deserved better, but oh Langa missed him.
“I miss you, Reki.” Langa whispered, biting the inside of his lip, scared that the pain he gave Reki was too deep to be forgiven. “I didn't understand why you were so hurt by me entering. I thought you would be excited to see me in a tournament. I didn't- I didn't know. I didn't know Adam scared you like that. I didn't know you'd be so hurt. I didn't know .” Langa swallowed away a lump forming in his throat, “I don't know anything, but I know I miss you.”
Reki’s lower lip quivered. There was silence between the two. Amber eyes staring into the cloudy ocean blue. Reki was looking so close, so deeply into those eyes, he could see the starlight sparkling in them. “Langa,” he spoke in a whisper, “I've grown too attached to you so quick. Everyday I can't wait to see you. Everyday I skate with you, I'm happy. But you're so much better than me now, and that's why I was so upset you broke the promise. I could never take Adam on in that tournament. Shit, I probably wouldn't even get past the first round. But you? You can take this thing all the way. I gotta be honest, I'm jealous, Langa.”
Langa shook his head. How could Reki not see how amazing he is? How could Reki be jealous of Langa? “Jealous? Reki, stop. I wouldn't even have gotten on a skateboard if it weren't for you. You're the reason my journey started. It was you who taught me everything I know about skating. You, Reki. Hell, you made my board! Can't you see how incredible you are? I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. Then you'd see this amazing boy who knows all there is to know about skating. Jealous of me? No way, Reki.”
“I didn't say I was jealous of you .” Reki spoke softly and without confidence. There was a faint blush spreading across his cheeks, nose, and his ears. The nervous redhead chewed his lower lip, grabbing his arm and rubbing it nervously, hoping Langa would get the hint.
Langa did not get the hint. If anything it made him more confused. Just staring back at Reki, he blinked a couple times as confusion washed over his face. “Wh-what do you mean?” he finally asked.
“I'm jealous of Adam. I'm jealous because, because, because you want to skate with him. You want to skate with someone better than me. Someone who’s on your level. Even if you don't see it, before too long you'll get bored with me. You won't want me.” Reki stepped even closer to Langa, their bodies merely inches away from one another. He was begging that Langa would catch onto what he was confessing.
Langa was absolutely not catching on. The more Reki spoke, the more confused he got. “Jealous of Adam? Reki, that's absolutely ridiculous. You think I want to be best friends with Adam? First of all, that guy is like ten years older than us. It would be kind of weird hanging out with him all the time and having sleepovers. Plus, that guy is a creep, no matter how good of a skater he is. You, Reki Kyan, are my best friend. Why- why would you think I'd want to be-”
Reki was rolling his eyes in a playful manner with how oblivious Langa could be. Of course he should straight up say what he was feeling, but with how nervous he was, his tongue would never let him speak. So, Reki decided it would be easier to show the oblivious boy.
Cutting off Langa, Reki brought his hands up and cupped his face. Though his skin was usually cold, his face felt warm in Reki’s hand. Possibly from the summer or heat, but probably from the emotions that had been running through both of them. After a quick glance at his lips, Reki leaned in and pressed his lips to Langa’s.
Langa’s eyes widened as he felt the warm embrace against his lips. This was the last thing he expected to come out of tonight. Not that he was complaining. There had been times when admiring Reki he wondered what it would feel like to be kissed by him. But they were friends, so that would never happen. Until now, at least.
Reki started pulling away, probably because Langa was so stunned he was just standing there, not moving an inch. But Langa didn't want it to end, oh no. He didn’t want Reki getting the wipeout idea, thinking that Langa didn’t like this. He loved it. He chased Reki’s lips as he started pulling away, finally beginning to kiss him back. And when he grabbed onto Reki’s hips, he swore he heard him let out the tiniest, cutest giggle. It made Langa’s lips curve into the smallest smile as he kissed his best friend again, and again, and again. Langa didn't even know how much he wanted this moment to happen until it did.
The moonlight was shining like a spotlight on the two as they kissed, holding one another as close as possible. Reluctantly, they both started to pull away from the kiss. As soon as the weight of Reki’s lips were off his, Langa missed them. He just wanted to kiss him again and again.
Too nervous to say anything, Reki’s face was flushed pink and he dropped his hands from Langa’s cheeks. Was it okay that he did that? Langa kissed him back after all. Reki was chewing the inside of his lip after the kiss, the pressure of being the first to speak next was almost too much. What do you say to your best friend after kissing them for the first time?
“I-” Langa breathed out, sliding his hands off of Reki ‘s waist and grabbing onto his hands, interlocking their fingers together as if they were meant to be. “I think I get it now.” he let out a small chuckle, everything finally clicking in his mind.
“You're so oblivious, Langa!” Reki pouted, bringing a hand up and playfully hitting Langa’s chest. “I'm jealous of Adam because I can't keep up with you and skating anymore,” he frowned slightly, giving the hand that he was still holding a squeeze, “You’re going to get bored of me because I can’t keep up. And if you don’t want to skate with me, why would you ever, like, you know... want to do that with me.”
“I want to skate with you forever. I want to skate with you infinitely, Reki. Yeah, Adam gives me a thrill sometimes. But with you? Skating is, it's fun. I don't feel anything skating with Adam like when I skate with you. Skating with you is my favorite thing. You're my favorite person, Reki Kyan.” Langa brought his free hand up, gently placing it on one of Reki’s cheeks, gazing at him with a smile. “I'd also like to kiss you infinitely, if, if that would be okay.”
The blush raced back to Reki’s face at those words, and he couldn't hold back a little giggle. Leaning his head into Langa’s hand, he closed his eyes for a moment and let out a content sigh. “I think that would be okay with me.” His eyes slowly opened back up, and he gazed at Langa’s pretty face that was lit up by the moonlight.
“Hey, lovebirds, we want cake!” a voice yelled up from the house. When they turned to see who it was, Miya was standing at the back door. Actually, everyone was at the back door. Had they been watching them this entire time?!
Now it was Langa’s turn for his face to turn bright pink. He just had one of the most deep and emotional conversations of his life with Reki, and all of their friends just watched them in silence? Oh, they were never going to hear the end of it.
“Miya, I'm gonna kill you!” Reki yelled and started running back to the house. Miya's eyes widened and he darted away from the door. Everyone else quickly scattered as well, hoping they wouldn't get yelled at either.
“Reki, wait!” Langa chased after Reki and grabbed his hand, causing him to stop, turn, and look back at Langa. “I have something else to say.”
Reki looked a little confused, and maybe a little scared. What more could Langa possibly want to say? They made up, didn't they? “Yeah?”
“Happy Birthday.” Langa smiled, interlocking his fingers once again with Reki’s before giving his hand a tight squeeze.
Reki blushed and shook his head, a wide smile plastered in his face. “Langa Hasegawa, you're an idiot.” quickly placing a kiss to Langa’s cheek, they walked out of the garden and into the yellow light of the house. And for the first time in three weeks, Langa finally understood.