Work Text:
Me
Hey, this is Aoba. I can't believe one of those girls actually wrecked your coil!
You really gotta stop with the playboy attitude, next time whoever you make jealous might not target something so replaceable
Koujaku
Wrong number
Me
What? But I copied it straight off the paper you gave me!
Koujaku
Ur friend probably wrote it down wrong
Or his handwriting sux
Me
You're really not messing with me?
Koujaku
Last time i checked i was gay, so
Yea
Me
Oh, okay. Sorry!
---
Me
Koujaku, you're not gonna believe what happened at work today!
Koujaku
Y do u keep messaging this #? Im not koujaku
Me
Ah, I forgot to edit the contact!! Sorry, just fixed it
xxx-xxx-0613
Ur kind of an airhead, arnt u Aoba?
Me
???? How do you know my name?!?!? Do you know me?
xxx-xxx-0613
U introduced urself in ur very first message
This is exactly what i was taking abt. Airhead
Me
At least I can type properly!
xxx-xxx-0613
Airheaded & inefficient
Me
Hey!!!
xxx-xxx-0613
so wat happened at work?
Me
Why should I tell you?
xxx-xxx-0613
Idk, bc im bored?
Me
... normally I'd hesitate to keep taking to such a rude stranger, but Koujaku isn't answering his coil so I guess I'll tell you
xxx-xxx-0613
Probably got broken by another woman lol
Me
So I was answering calls and making sales, my usual thing. At some point a customer calls to order something and I can immediately tell he’s into my voice.
Me
Oh, for context that’s pretty normal. A lot of our callers end up really attracted to my voice, to the point of bringing up how nice it is in the middle of a transaction and asking to meet me. Must be something about how I sound over the phone?
Me
Anyway, he didn’t want me to hang up. He was really resistant to any attempts I made to wrap up the call, so eventually I asked if he wanted to hear more product information. He said as long as we kept talking, he’d listen to as many promotions as we had.
Me
So I just read... all of them. And get this: he bought every single one!
Me
I didn’t even ask him to, I was just giving him the information!! It ended up being nearly thirty products!!
xxx-xxx-0613
Is that a lot? I dont no what ur job sells
Me
Oh, I work at a junk shop. Most of our stuff is pretty cheap, but we also get some specialized parts in and those can add up.
He ended up spending more than I make in a week.
xxx-xxx-0613
damn
Me
I feel like I did something bad. I didn’t even pressure him, but I guess I feel like I enabled it??
My hands won’t stop shaking
xxx-xxx-0613
He was sexually harassing u ovr the phone right? Think of it like reparations
How long did he have u talking nyway?
Me
Over an hour
xxx-xxx-0613
Shit, just 2 talk abt junk parts?
How good is this voice of urs? Maybe i’ll give u a call too
Me
As long as you’re willing to open your wallet :)
xxx-xxx-0613
I’ll just keep buying stuff until u stop entertaining me
& then cancel all my orders
Me
Wait, do you think the customer is going to do that???
I’ll definitely lose whatever bonus I just earned if he does
xxx-xxx-0613
hes probably not smart enough 2, if he got suckered in2 that scheme of urs
But if he does cancel u dont have 2 feel guilty nymore, yea?
Me
I stopped feeling guilty when I started imagining what I was gonna do with my bonus
I’m still a little overwhelmed about how much money I made him spend, but that call left a bad taste in my mouth
and I’ll be a little disappointed if I don’t get anything from that
xxx-xxx-0613
lol
Me
Shit, my break is over. Thanks for listening, not-Koujaku!
xxx-xxx-0613
Just realized i have ur #. If i want 2 hear ur voice i can do it 4 free
Me
If you call I’m definitely not answering!
xxx-xxx-0613
Stingy
I hope he cancels his orders
--
Me
SOS!!!!!!!!!!!
Mizuki's gone missign, no one knows where he is!
Shit sorry hit the wrong chat log
xxx-xxx-0613
How long has he been missing?
Me
?? Do you know Mizuki too?
xxx-xxx-0613
No, but u seem pretty worried. I can help.
Me
How?
xxx-xxx-0613
I have my ways. Answer the q
Me
Uhh, two days now.
xxx-xxx-0613
& you've checked w family, friends, his house?
Me
No family, and he hasn't been home as far as we can tell. He hasn’t even opened the store recently, and he'd never just skip out on work!
xxx-xxx-0613
Ok
Born March 7, owner of the tattoo parlor Black Needle, leader of Dry Juice. Did i get the right person?
Me
Uh, yeah... How did you find all that out?
xxx-xxx-0613
I can see why u wouldn't go to the police for this. U sure he didn't just die in a gang fight?
I dont understand ribsters
Me
Are you really taking this seriously?!
xxx-xxx-0613
In South district there’s a club called CYBERIA. Check there.
Me
???????
xxx-xxx-0613
Just sent u the coordinates.
Me
You think Mizuki is there? Why should I trust you?
xxx-xxx-0613
Im not asking u 2
Ur choice if u blieve me
--
Me
You never told me how you found out all that stuff about Mizuki. Or explained how you knew where he was
xxx-xxx-0613
So u found him? Congrats
Me
You avoided the question again
xxx-xxx-0613
Dont i get 2 no what happened? I helped find him
Me
He got himself involved in some trouble, but that’s nothing new.
So how did you find that information?
xxx-xxx-0613
Ur not gonna let this go, r u?
Me
No, I’m not.
xxx-xxx-0613
-.-
information gathering is my job. Im good at it
Me
That doesn’t explain how you did it so fast!
xxx-xxx-0613
Everythings online if u know where to look
Me
So you’re like... a hacker?
xxx-xxx-0613
lol
Hacking is 1 of my skills yea
Y did u even have my # still? I thought u’d delete it by now
Me
Well, our last conversation wasn’t awful so I was wondering whether or not I’d want to talk to you again
Hey, you’re trying to distract me again!
xxx-xxx-0613
Lol
Me
So you really didn’t know Mizuki? How could you find where he was with just his name?
xxx-xxx-0613
Ive done more w/ less b4
Me
How could you have less than a name?
xxx-xxx-0613
I also knew he was in ur area & that he owned a shop, also probz in that area
It was easy from there
Me
Wait, how would you know what my area was?
Me
Why aren’t you answering???
xxx-xxx-0613
Trying 2 figure out if i should lie or not
Telling the truth will probz be more interesting…
Me
??????
xxx-xxx-0613
When u talked 2 me abt ur work i used ur # to track ur location
Me
What????
xxx-xxx-0613
Ive called ur work too
Me
What??? When????
I don’t remember any weird calls
xxx-xxx-0613
Thats bc i wasnt weird lol
I was a normal customer
U were right tho, ur voice is pretty hot
Me
You’re kidding.
You’re definitely lying. You don’t know where I work.
Xxx-xxx-0613
Hum-Drum Junk, in East district
Y would u doubt me? I found that ribster guy 4 u
Me
jahsfgysgujqwgsrujlfhweurhuiewhfu
xxx-xxx-0613
Maybe i’ll come visit sometime
Me
You better not!!!
Xxx-xxx-0613
lol
--
xxx-xxx-0613
[img2376.png]
Me
HOLY SHIT
Me
Did it hurt??????????????
xxx-xxx-0613
When i fell from heaven?
Me
When you got all those piercings!!!!!!
xxx-xxx-0613
Oh
I sent u a dicpic didnt i
I didnt mean 2 do that
Me
I CAN NEVER UNSEE THAT
xxx-xxx-0613
Lol
Me
I finally get a picture, and it’s something I’d never be able to use to recognize you
Xxx-xxx-0613
U want a pic of me?
Me
Ever since you brought up visiting my work I’m never sure if a customer walking in might be you!
You know all this stuff about me but I know next to nothing about you!
xxx-xxx-0613
U no what my dick looks like
Me
Wow, that’s not helpful!
xxx-xxx-0613
Ok, so u wanna play 20 Qs or smth?
Me
You know what?
Yes
xxx-xxx-0613
Wat
Me
But you don’t get to ask anything. You know too much about me as it is.
xxx-xxx-0613
If i wanted 2 no smth id just look it up lol
Me
Exactly!!
Stop doing that though
xxx-xxx-0613
Lol ok
Me
First question: what’s your name?
xxx-xxx-0613
Really?
Me
It’s an obvious first question! Plus it’s annoying to keep your contact unnamed
xxx-xxx-0613
Noiz
Me
Okay, Noiz. Second question
Did you really call my work?
Noiz
Yes lol
Me
What did you say during the call?
Noiz
I just asked 4 some S II custom parts
Me
Huh...and you’re sure it was me you talked to?
Noiz
“Thanks for calling Heibon Junk Shop, this is Aoba speaking. How can I help you?”
That’s my impression of u. U can tell its good bc i copied how u type
Me
No way...I wish I could remember!
Noiz
I made it unmemorable on purpose
R we done now?
Me
No way! I haven’t asked 20 questions yet!
Noiz
Really? Ur going 2 do this all the way thru?
Isnt this a kids sleepover game?
Me
Oh, that’s right! How old are you?
Noiz
19
Me
What?!!!
Really??
Noiz
Im 19, rlly.
That’s 2 questions. Ur on Q 8 now
Me
What??? I was just exclaiming!
Noiz
If theres a Q mark its a Q
Now ur on Q 9
Me
19 though??? That’s so young
That didn’t count as a question
Noiz
Yes it did, there was a q mark
I am 19. 10 Qs left.
Me
You’re such a brat!
Noiz
Ur not going 2 ask 2 b sure? “Ur a brat, rn’t u?”
Me
I already know the answer to that!
But here’s a question: what else do you know about me?
Noiz
Aoba Seragaki, works at heibon & lives in the residential district.
Ur older than me but i didnt need 2 look that up
Ur allmate is old & weird
Me
What’s so weird about Ren?!
Noiz
His code
Thats 8 qs left. R u bored yet?
Me
I would have thought you’d know more than that.
Noiz
Just bc i can look into some1 doesnt mean i always do. I didnt need to know nything else.
7 questions left
Aoba
What?! I didn’t even use a question mark, how was that a question?!
Noiz
It was an implied Q, u wanted me 2 explain y i knew so little
5 questions, that answered both ‘what’ & the ‘how was that a Q’
Aoba
You’re cheating!
Noiz
U should b glad im playing at all
Aoba
You’re insufferable
Okay...tell me some things that annoy you.
Noiz
Being touched, Ribsteez, & games that bore me
This counts, btw
Aoba
Thanks for the info! If we ever meet, I’m gluing myself to your side
And making you meet Koujaku, I’m sure he’d find the story of how we got talking really funny
And then he can tell you all about his Rib team! It’ll be great!
Noiz
That sounds cruel & unusual
Tho it also sounds like u want 2 introduce me 2 ur friends & get ur hands all ovr me
Aoba
Okay, 4 more questions…
Are you actually close enough to visit me at work?
Noiz
I live in the area, yea
Aoba
Arrrggghh...so our hypothetical hang out isn’t just fantasy
What do you look like?
Noiz
So u can fantasize abt me more?
Aoba
So I can recognize you if you stop by!
Noiz
Lol
Im a blond dude w/ piercings
Aoba
What piercings?
Noiz
tragus, industrial, & 3 cartilage piercings in my left ear, gauges in both, eyebrow, bridge, & snakebites
Plus some surface ones & what u saw in that pic
Aoba
Holy shit
I don’t even know what most of those mean
Noiz
Want 2 waste a q asking?
Aoba
No thanks, I can use a search engine
Noiz
Jsyk i can easily waste this all by coming 2 visit in a mask
Maybe a full disguise. I think i have a costume head arnd here somewhere…
Aoba
You wouldn’t!
Noiz
I would
Last q, btw. Better make it count
Aoba
What?? How am I already at my last question?
Noiz
“U wouldnt” was a q
& with that last message u’ve asked 21, which means I get 1
Aoba
Why do you need a question? You can just look up anything you want to know!
Noiz
I thought u didnt want me doing that nymore?
Cmon, i played ur game. I deserve a reward
Aoba
Fine, one question.
Noiz
Did u like the pic i sent u?
Aoba
What picture? You never sent me a picture
Wait
NO
Noiz
Ur going 2 break the rules Again?
Aoba
I’m not answering that!
Noiz
U can ask me what the piercings r called, if u want
Aoba
No thank you!!!
Noiz
Fine. wat do u think tho
Aoba
It’s...scary?
Noiz
But do u like it?
Aoba
[read: 21:07]
Noiz
Answer the q
I know ur getting my messages
Noiz
This is cheating
Noiz
im going 2 actually show up at ur work
& ask if u like my dick rite in front of ur boss
gl getting out of that
--
Aoba
I can’t believe you actually showed up in a rabbit suit!
Noiz
I cant believe we actually ran into ur rib friend
He totally crashed our date
Aoba
First of all, that was NOT a date
I don’t go on dates with someone who I’m meeting for the first time, and I DEFINITELY don’t go on dates with people who wear a fursuit head to see me
I ESPECIALLY don’t go on dates with people who ask me about my dick preferences in front of children!
Noiz
U never told me if u liked my pic
Aoba
And I’m not going to!
Noiz
Ok, did u at least like our date?
Aoba
It wasn’t a date!
...but if want to know if spending time with you after work was nice
Yeah, it was.
Noiz
Would u do it again?
Aoba
Only if you aren’t wearing that stupid costume
Noiz
I wont bring the rabbit head if u dont bring Koujaku
Aoba
...It’s a date