Chapter Text
“I’m gonna kill him, I swear…” Your voice was filled with anger as you snatched your phone off the kitchen counter to call the one who was responsible for your boyfriend’s sluggish and befuddled state.
While you leaned against the counter, scrolling through your contacts, you caught sight of Dick stumbling into the kitchen, his blue eyes barely open. Turning to look at you with his signature goofy grin, he reached out for one of the kitchen chairs but missed it by a foot, causing him to almost lose his balance. A heavy sigh left your lips while you shook your head in disbelief, “My god, Dick, please be careful.”
He hummed in response as you made him a small bowl of cereal and set it in front of him. You listened to your phone ring, cursing under your breath as you went back to leaning against the counter, watching Dick slowly bring the spoon to his mouth before accidentally dropping the spoon back into the bowl. You shook your head in disbelief that Dick would allow himself to get drunk enough for his hangover to be this bad.
“Hello?”
“What the hell did you do, Jason?” You didn’t even bother greeting him as soon as he picked up the phone, “Dick’s practically a zombie.”
“(Y/N)? What are you goin’ on about?” Jason asked, trying to sound confused at your sudden phone call.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” You folded your arm across your chest, turning to look out the window over the sink, “You both went out last night and he didn’t come back until four this morning. I found him passed out in the bathtub.”
Jason was silent on the other end for a moment, “We just got a couple of drinks that’s all.”
“How many drinks is a couple to you, Jason?” You asked him with slight anger clear in your voice, “I’ve seen Dick’s typical hangovers and he’s never been like this before.”
“Hey, he’s the one that went crazy, I limited my own drinking to watch out for him, if that’s anything,” Jason mentioned, causing you to stop your tirade on him for the moment, “He earned all those drinks if you ask me; by the way, make sure he steers clear of Gin, that definitely isn’t for him.”
“Thanks for at least watching out for him, really,” You at least thanked him for choosing to be the more level-headed person, “But I’m still pissed at you for letting him drink so much. He’s going to be a pain in the ass and you know it too.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know, I’ll make it up to you somehow,” Jason agreed, chuckling on his end, “I’ll drop by later today to see how you both are doing, alright?”
You smiled faintly, “Alright, I’m gonna hold you to it. When you do drop by, why don’t you-”
“Oh my god… Dick!”
A sharp gasp fell from your lips as you turned around to see Dick’s face submerged in his bowl of cereal. Racing to his side to pull his face out of the bowl, you checked to see if he had a pulse and when you felt it, you let go of his shoulders and slapped him on his chest to only get a soft hum from him.
“What the hell happened?” Jason asked, worry clear in his voice.
“Your brother nearly drowned in a bowl of milk, milk…” Jason laughed on the other end before asking if he was still okay to which you confirmed he was; with a heavy sigh, you dried Dick’s face as you kept your phone pinched in between your ear and shoulder, “I’m gonna let you go and try to make sure he gets some rest.”
“Alright, see you later.”
You pulled your boyfriend to his feet and dragged him to the bedroom to get some rest, all while repeating a single phrase over and over in your mind: I’m gonna kill him.