Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Kotoha was a fool. 

She should have known paradise was too good to be true. After losing her family, after a horrible marriage, she should have known that if paradise existed then it was not for her. She was only ever dealt one good card in life. She was foolish for thinking that she could be dealt any more.

And her foolish thinking had put that one good thing she had in danger. 

She frantically apologized to Inosuke as she ran through the woods, Douma’s presence not far behind. She was so stupid for feeling they were safe there, so stupid to have not seen the signs earlier, so stupid for bringing her baby boy to a monster . Her only choices were to run until he caught them or let him take her. And Kotoha had decided if she only had one choice left in her life, she wasn’t going to let herself be submissive to another’s abuse. 

So she ran. She was out of breath and she was tired and Inosuke, small as he was, began to feel heavy in his arms but she didn’t care. She could push through the pain if it meant she could find some way to get Inosuke out of that monster’s grasp. She doubted they were both going to make it out alive, but maybe, just maybe, she could prevent Douma from getting to Inosuke.

And then she came across the cliff. 

There was no guarantee that Inosuke would survive the fall. There was a chance he’d survive the fall into the water below. Just a small chance. A sliver of a chance, but she put all her faith into that hope. 

And if not, she’d spare her baby boy a death at the hands of a demon. 

She could feel Douma’s presence behind her as she watched Inosuke drop. She knew her end was coming. The scent of blood was so, so close.

But it never came. 

As she turned around, she saw a flash of blue charge at Douma as a swordsman aim a hit towards his neck. The monster easily deflected the attack, but his attention was drawn from Kotoha. 

She didn’t know how long this fight would last, or whether the swordsman would win. She didn’t know if she’d ever get the chance to thank whoever it was for the distraction. She did know that this gave her a sliver of hope. 

So Kotoha ran.

She didn’t even think as she ran. Adrenaline pushed her as she made her way out of the forest, past rice fields and valleys and dirt trails. Stories from her childhood had said that monsters couldn’t stand the sun, and she relied on that idea to push her. She wasn’t safe until the sun was up. 

She didn’t recognize where she was when dawn broke. The sight of the sun brought tears to her eyes as her exhaustion finally caught up to her. She collapsed to the ground as the sun rose, falling unconscious in the safety of the sun’s rays. 

===

She woke up in an unfamiliar place. A woman by her bedside — an older woman, maybe old enough to be her own mother — coaxes her to lay back down when she frantically sits up. She introduces herself as Mutsuko and explains to Kotoha that her husband found her on the side of the road the morning before and she had been asleep since. Kotoha is handed a cup of tea as Mutsuko asks what had happened to her. 

She remembers the monster. She remembers running. She remembers thinking she was going to die before that swordsman showed up. 

She remembers throwing Inosuke over the cliff in order to save him from the same fate she thought she was going to have.

Tears began to fall as she realized what she had done. All the promises she had made her baby boy of protecting him and keeping him safe were to waste. She had thrown her baby boy over the cliff only for her to get away safely. 

She should have thrown herself over as well. What was she thinking? Her mother-in-law’s vile words came back to haunt her. Selfish. Stupid. Idiot. 

Kotoha breaks down into sobs before she can begin to explain her situation to Mutsuko. The older woman rubs her back in a sympathetic manner that reminds Kotoha of her own mother, a loving gesture she hasn’t experienced since the fire that took her family. 

It makes her cry harder.

===

After she calmed down, Mutsuko told Kotoha to rest before feeling the need to tell her story. She was invited to sit with the family for dinner. The family was small, consisting of just the older couple. Mutsuko and her husband Kenta were the local tailors of their small town. They were very kind, Mutsuko doting on her and insisting on serving her a larger portion of a meal. Kenta informed her they planned on calling for the local doctor in the morning if she hadn’t woken up. Upon seeing the state of her clothes, Mutsuko offered her a spare kimono to wear while they cleaned and repaired her own. 

It was a kindness Kotoha hadn’t been shown since she had joined Paradise Faith. 

She thanked them profusely for their hospitality and help. She felt she didn’t deserve it. She didn’t know why fate would allow such kind-hearted people to come across her in her time of need. On the verge of tears again, she promised to repay the family in whatever way she could. 

“Darling, you’re obviously still not in good shape,” Mutsuko insisted, coming to her side and gently brushing her hair with her fingers. “We’ll call for the doctor in the morning to check in on you, and we can talk about getting you back home in the morning.” 

Kotoha’s heart dropped. “I don’t have a home to go back to.”

“Then we’ll have you stay with us until we can figure something out.” She took both of Kotoha’s hands in her own. “If you insist on doing anything, I could use some help with the housework. But not until the doctor checks in.”

Kotoha agrees to this arrangement. She’d do anything to pay back the family for their kindness. 

When she returns to bed that night, she can’t help but think about Inosuke. She doesn’t have any tears left in her, otherwise she would probably cry herself to sleep as she wondered about what happened to her baby boy. 

===

The doctor said that, other than exhaustion, Kotoha was perfectly healthy. She is quick to offer her help to Mutsuko after receiving this news, but the older woman is still fretting over her. Kotoha manages to convince her to let her help prepare food for lunch while Kenta finishes some repairs he’s been commissioned to do. 

She finally shares with the other women what had happened. She tells them about her family, who she lost in an unfortunate fire that she somehow was spared from. She tells them of her marriage, which was full of never-ending verbal and physical abuse from both her husband and her mother-in-law. She tells them about Inosuke, who was the light of her life and the best thing that ever happened to her. 

She doesn’t tell them the name of the Paradise Faith cult, just that she had found herself drawn into an organization whose promises seemed — were — too good to be true. She doesn’t tell them Douma’s name, just that she discovered the leader was a horrible monster hiding behind the mask of a kind and compassionate smile. She doesn’t tell them he was eating the followers, just that he killed them with no remorse.

She doesn’t tell them how she lost Inosuke. She can’t tell them how she lost Inosuke. As she begins, her throat closes up and she begins to weep. They take it to mean that he is dead.

She doesn’t want to think about whether that’s true or not. 

Kotoha cannot get herself to say what she had done. She knows she did what she did out of love, out of fear, out of the idea that she was going to die and she didn’t want that fate for Inosuke as well. She feels as though she abandoned her son. 

She feels she’s as horrible as the monster she ran from. 

Mutsuko is against sending her back to her husband and tells her that she’s free to stay with them as long as she needs. She even tells Kotoha that she's willing to ask around and see if anyone in town is looking for extra hands to get her a job. The prospect of starting anew, of being offered a second chance, feels unrealistic to Kotoha. She keeps expecting to wake up and find out it was all a hopeful dream.

But it’s not. Her life may have been horrible up until now, and Inosuke’s fate will haunt her forever. But she’s been given a second chance. And she decides that she’ll be grateful for the opportunity. She’ll take advantage of whatever she’s being given. 

Her initial decision to drop Inosuke into the river was out of hope that he’d make it out of Douma’s grasp alive, even if the chances were slim. That night, she focuses on that idea to keep herself sane. Her baby boy, though the chances were slim, could be out there. She was lucky enough to get away from Douma, so she prayed she would be lucky enough to find Inosuke again. 

Before she allows herself to settle down, she needs to see if she can find him. She has to do at least that much.

===

The next morning, she decides her search will start with the river. She tells Kenta and Mutsuko that her plan is to go find an aunt of hers that she remembers living in a village off the river. They help her find a map to determine her path. She determines this village isn’t on the river in question. She figures that Inosuke could only get carried so far by the current and uses that to narrow down her search to the three nearest villages downstream. The gap between the last one she plans to visit and the closest one after it is large and full of untouched wilderness. She figures that can make the walks between each village within a day to avoid traveling at night. 

The couple had been more than willing to help lend her supplies she may need to travel. They were hesitant to let her leave, both worried how safe she would be traveling alone. But when Kotoha showed no signs of changing her mind, they reluctantly gave in and instead tried to offer her whatever aid they could. Mutsuko let Kotoha keep the kimono she lent her and made rice balls for her to pack. Despite all of her protests, Kenta refused to let her leave without lending her some money. 

She spends a day doing various house chores for the two in order to repay them. She hopes to come back and repay them after she’s done with her trip, even though the two insist she doesn’t need to. 

She has her own concerns about traveling. Her sight in her right eye has still never fully recovered. She’s fairly frail and recognizes if she’s not careful she could get hurt or easily attacked. But she’s learned her mistakes and knows what foolish actions to avoid. She will be cautious the entire way. 

Before Kotoha leaves, Kenta tells her that their doors are open for her should she need to return. The two are more than willing to offer her a place to stay and help her find a job in town if she needs it. She’s grateful to have come across just caring people, and promises as soon as her search is over she’ll return. 

===

Her travels take a little longer than she initially anticipated. She was at least correct in planning out her travels to avoid being on the road at night. Her time in each town stretched out longer than she planned though. The time it took for her to talk to anyone who may have known anything in the first village ended up being two weeks. She talked to fishermen, hunters, shopkeepers by the river, and even small groups of children who regularly played by the water. None of them knew anything about a baby being found in the river. 

By the time she left the first village, she had almost run out of money. The solution to that at least came fairly quickly, when a few townspeople dropped some money for her while she sang outside the inn one morning while making repairs to her traveling bags. Word spread and a few townspeople grew fond of her voice, and the local innkeeper asked if she would be willing to perform after dinner for pay. It was a job she found just as easily in the second village, and then the third. It made her just enough money so she wouldn’t need to struggle, which she found a bit of a relief. 

The second village took an even longer time, being the largest of the ones she intended to visit. The third one probably took the shortest. In all of the villages, she never found anyone who knew a thing about a baby boy being found in the river. The likelihood of him having made it all the way to the next village was low. Either something happened to him, or he ended up in the wilderness that separated the two towns. It left a heavy, nauseous feeling in her gut. 

She sits by the river the evening after her search finally came to an end. There’s no one possibly left to ask. She thinks that she should feel despair or dread at the realization that any leads that would suggest her boy is okay are dead ends.

Instead, she just feels frustrated. She knows that everything is leading to the conclusion that Inosuke is gone. He may have drowned or been eaten by a wild animal. All the signs are pointing to it, and yet Kotoha can’t find it in her to believe it. Inosuke is dead sounds like a hypothetical, a cruel joke, a ridiculous lie. She’s not in denial, she just doesn’t think it can possibly be real.

Inosuke is alive. She doesn’t know how she knows this, but she’s willing to stake everything on it. 

Maybe he had managed to make it farther down the river. Maybe a traveler who never made it through these towns had found him instead. Inosuke may be alive, but figuring out where to go from here feels overwhelming. She doesn’t know whether going town to town will end up being pointless. She doesn’t know which direction she should consider if he did end up getting taken somewhere that didn’t follow the river. The number of possible situations seems endless. She believes he’s alive, but she’s starting to lose hope that she can find him again. 

And that’s the realization that breaks her. Inosuke may be alive, but she may never see him again. 

She can see tears beginning to pool in the corner of her eyes in her reflection on the water's surface. Feeling useless isn’t a new experience for her. It’s all she felt during her marriage after all. This hits her harder than any words her mother-in-law would say or any of her husband's blows. 

Inosuke is gone because of her, and there’s nothing that she can do to find him again. 

She buries her face in her hands so she doesn’t have to look at her reflection any longer. 

She’ll start her journey back to Kenta and Mutsuko tomorrow. She’ll figure out what her next plans will be after that. For now, she lets herself grieve by the river and hopes the townspeople allow her the privacy to do so. 

===

The village is empty when they arrive. There’s absolutely no one to be found. There’s no one in any of the stores, in any of the homes, and anywhere on the riverfront. 

The absence would be an eerie mystery were it not for the damaged buildings and blood-soaked streets. There are no corpses to be found, but it’s not hard to put together what could have happened here. 

Maybe if she hadn’t witnessed Douma consuming one of her fellow followers, Kotoha would be more upset at the realization. It still makes her feel sick. 

She dreads what she will find in Kenta and Mutsuko’s home, but she feels she has to check. Just in case. 

The home is caked with blood. The stench of iron was overwhelming. There are no bodies but Kotoha doesn’t know if that makes it better. 

Against the wall, her name is smeared in blood. 

Her legs give out as she slumps onto the floor. She’s forgotten how to breathe, panic taking over her and crushing her lungs. Because Douma was a monster — of course he was able to find the exact village, the exact home , that she had used as a refuge when she escaped. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t found her, he wanted her to know that she was still a target. The only reason this couple was dead was because they were nice enough to help her. She’s the reason that their blood covers their home now. 

What if Douma had found Inosuke before her? What if he had her baby boy?

She choked back a sob. 

“Are you okay?” 

She almost screams, turning around quickly to see a man standing at the entryway. She wonders if he had managed to enter without making a sound or if she just hadn’t noticed him due to her current state of panic. It’s a swordsman, wearing a bright orange haori over a black uniform. He looks like he can’t be any older than twenty. He’s startled by her scream, jumping in surprise and dropping his hands from his sheathed sword to hold in front of himself in a defensive manner, as if trying to assure her he wasn’t a threat. “I’m sorry, ma’am, I didn’t mean to frighten you. Are you hurt?” 

She shook her head, taking deep breaths to try and bring her breathing back. “I’m fine,” she finally answered after a minute. “I — this is how I found it. I don’t know how long it’s been like this…”

The man nodded. He hesitated for a moment before kneeling down beside her. “Do you know this family?”

She nods again. “They helped me a few months ago.” She drops her gaze back to her hands. “I’m afraid I’m the reason they ended up like this.”

“What’s your name, ma’am?”

“Kotoha.” She sees him look to her name written on the wall behind her. 

“Mine is Tama,” he greets. “...I understand if this next question sounds… bizarre. I promise I’m not trying to make a joke or be insensitive. But have you heard anything about monsters in this area?”

She looks over the man. The sword. The uniform. He looks like someone respectable, yet not a member of any official police force she would recognize. He doesn’t look like he would ask this as a joke. He looks sincere. 

He knows about demons. 

“I had gotten away from a demon when these two found me. I think he’s the one who did this.” She tells him what little she knows of Douma and Paradise Faith. Tama doesn’t do much else other than listen, nodding occasionally.

“...is he going to keep doing this to people wherever I go?” she asks. She’s scared of the answer.

“He can try. If he hasn’t attacked any other villages by now, there’s a chance that he’s preoccupied or given up.” 

She doubts he would ever give up.

“You said you have no family to go to?” he continues. “That may be for the better… I’m sure we can give you demon warding charms to protect you. It may be safer to have you stay somewhere close to fellow demon slayers, though.”

She nods, overwhelmed at the realization that there seems to be a whole group that seems to know about these monsters she had the misfortune of getting tied up with. The brief flash of blue that distracted Douma from her and allowed her to get away came to mind. Could that have been one of those slayers as well? She has so many questions for him but decides she should save them for later. 

“I understand it may be a lot to ask of you right now, but would you be alright with traveling?”

She doesn’t think she really has another option. The only one left now is to fend for herself and wait for Douma to hunt her down. She’s tired from traveling this far already, and she’s worried about how late in the day it is right now and if they’ll be continuing on through the night. But Tama seems fairly confident, so she takes the hand he offers her and nods. 

“I can. Thank you, Tama.”

Chapter Text

Kotoha and Tama travel well into the night before reaching their destination. Kotoha is tired but determined not to be the one that slows them down. Tama’s hands never leave his sword’s hilt when the sun sets. 

The estate Tama brings her to is beautiful. Wisteria crests don the gates, and trees with said purple flowers surround the property. Their scent is overwhelming yet pleasant. She could have sworn they were out of season.

“They’ve been known to ward off demons,” Tama explains to her when he sees her staring. “They can’t stand the scent. I’m still not sure how they manage to make them bloom year-round. You’ll be safe here.”

A woman greets them at the gate, and Tama introduces Kotoha as a guest in need of help. The two are taken in and offered a meal, and they sit for dinner with a man who appears to be the head of the house named Fujita. Tama explains to him that he’s hoping that Kotoha could find refuge here until he can deal with the demon he believes is pursuing her. 

Through the conversation, Kotoha learns of the Demon Slayer Corps. A whole organization dedicated to hunting down monsters throughout the country. It’s a bit of a relief to think that she’s not the only person who knows about the beast that Douma is, but is simultaneously terrified by the idea of more like him being out there. The home is one of many that serve the organization as a place of refuge and rest for their soldiers. She wonders how large their influence must be. 

When Kotoha realizes what his proposal is, she immediately offers that she can help with housework or chores around the manor in whatever way they may need her. Fujita says they can certainly work something out. Any help Kotoha could provide would be very useful, and he would be glad to hire her on as staff in order to provide her protection. 

She doesn’t know how long this arrangement will last. Tama says that he will leave in the morning to continue his mission. He promises that he’ll send her any updates if he can, with a reassuring and kind smile. 

“This may be an odd question, Kotoha, but you mentioned something had attacked Douma that allowed you to escape. You didn’t get a better look at it, did you?” Tama asks before Kotoha retires to bed. She thinks for a moment but shakes her head. 

“I’m sorry. I saw blue, but that’s about it. I know that probably isn’t useful.”

“No, it’s fine. It was a stressful situation, I wouldn’t be surprised if you don’t remember much,” he insisted. 

“Why do you ask?”

“I was only in the area looking for a friend. He had finished an assignment in that area and went missing…” He frowns as he tugs at his haori’s sleeve. “His favorite haori was blue. I can’t be for certain, but there’s a chance he was the one who attacked Douma.” 

Kotoha notes the sad look in his eyes and frowns as well. There’s a chance that her survival was only due to his friend's sacrifice. She doesn’t know how to put into words that if that’s the case, she’ll cherish the sacrifice that the stranger had made. 

She can at least thank Tama though, who stands before her and helped her get this far. 

“I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me, Tama,” she says with a small bow. “Please be safe. I’d like to repay you one day, if I can.”

Tama laughs bashfully at her request. His fingers digging deeper into his haori’s sleeve. “You really don’t need to worry about that, ma’am. It’s just my job.”

And she knows that’s not true. He could have easily just interrogated her and left her to continue his hunt. He didn’t have to go out of his way to find her somewhere safe from Douma. 

“Even if it is, thank you very much.”

She does not see Tama the next morning. She hopes he is safe, wherever it is he is going.

===

Kotoha is able to ask Fujita a lot about the Demon Slayer Corps as he and the head maid teach her how the house works. A demon's strength is determined by the people they’ve eaten — and Kotoha wonders how strong Douma must be if he was responsible for all of Paradise Faith’s missing practitioners. They have quite the advantage over humans, so the Wisteria houses serve to aid the countless slayers who come through in any way they can after battle. Her job will consist of not much more than aiding with laundry and cleaning. She still receives pay and is more than welcome to make runs to town on days she has off.

She has no plans to leave the estate. She’s too scared to leave the sanctuary of the wisterias. 

The slayers that pass through all have interesting tales. She’s astounded by how young some of them are. The youngest group she had seen was a pair of boys who didn’t appear to be any older than fourteen. The idea of children like them going up against demons makes her feel ill. She hoped she hadn’t let it show. 

A year passes. There have been so many slayers that have gone through. She’s come to recognize some familiar faces. She’s grateful that the younger children always return alive. Some of the fellow maids have heard her singing while working, and somehow the news spreads to the swordsmen who visit. When Kotoha is around during dinner, they’ll ask if she’s up for a song. She’s always embarrassed by their praise afterward. The older men are always respectful. The younger children are always astonished by her songs. 

A boy once told her that her songs reminded him of his own mother, of his own home, and that it brought him ease between the stress of missions. She was glad that she was able to help, but it still hurt to think how her songs used to be for her own boy. 

Tama shows up at the house unannounced one evening. She only found out he was there because she was asked to bring more sheets to his room after the doctor finished treating him. She was shocked to see him in the room, with his arm in a sling and half of his face bandaged up. 

“Oh! Kotoha!” He looks surprised to see her but smiles back when she grins at him. “I’m sorry it’s been so long. I haven’t had time to come back here in some time.”

“It’s fine, Tama. Are you okay?” she asks as she begins to fold the old sheets off his futon. There’s blood covering them, and she can’t help but look him over once again. 

He seems to notice her worry. “I’ve endured worse. I’ll just be out of commission for some time.” He laughs lightly. “This isn’t how I wanted to get a break, but it will be nice to rest for a while at least.”

She sighs as she begins to put the new sheets out. “Do you mind me asking whether you were able to find Douma?”

His smile falters. “No. Sadly, it seems the Paradise Faith cult disappeared. Or, it’s not as easy to find as it used to be.” He begins to pull at the sleeve of his yukata. “I’m sorry. I wish I could offer you some better closure. There weren’t any demons rumored in the villages you visited in those few months, however.” 

“Don’t feel sorry. I’m glad to get any news I can. I’m also glad that he didn’t get you either.” She notes his yellow haori hanging on the wall. The left sleeve has almost been completely severed. “Would you like me to mend that for you?”

Tama’s face flushed with embarrassment as he shook his head. “It’s fine, you don’t have to do that. I can do it on my own.”

“It’s no trouble,” she assures, standing up to pick it up from the wall. “Besides, could you even do it properly with your arm hurt like that?”

“Ah. You’re right, I don’t think I could.” 

She smiles as she looks it over. There are a few areas that look like they need to be patched up. She notes now the sleeves edges look a little worn out. 

“I’ll get some thread and come right back.”

She talks with Tama as she repairs his clothes. The first night he brought her here the two didn’t talk much — Kotoha had been in too much shock to carry a conversation. Tama is hesitant to talk about himself — not in a way she perceives as secretive, but rather as shy. Eventually, she’s able to coax him into telling her about his travels and some of the demons he’s come across. 

“You never told me much about your family before Douma,” Tama said. She hums and fights back a frown. “Sorry. Is it a bad topic?”

“Not entirely. I have a son,” she says. She doesn’t want to talk about her husband, or her mother-in-law, or her lost relatives. “I think I told you about him. I went looking for him before we met. I lost him when I was running from Douma...” 

The regret that flashes in his expression could be comical. “I remember,” he says as he averts his gaze. “What’s his name?” 

“Inosuke. He’s almost three now.” She looks over the sleeve she has now finished stitching. “He was such a happy baby. He was loud though. I don’t think he could ever grow out of being loud.” Her hand runs down the fabric. “...I feel horrible for leaving him.”

“You didn’t do it intentionally,” Tama pointed out. 

“But I did. I didn’t want Douma to get him so I threw him into the river. If I had just waited…”

“...but would you be here if you had?” Tama asks. “It’s just. You never would have left that village Douma attacked if you hadn’t gone looking for Inosuke, would you? Or, at least, you probably wouldn’t. Maybe.” He pauses for a moment. “In my line of work, I found it's really easy to get fixated on the past and regretting past actions and what could have been done differently. And it makes it really hard to come to terms with where you’re at in life if that happens. You shouldn’t get stuck thinking about what you could have changed or could have done.” His expression quickly changes to a very worried one. “Not that it’s not okay to be sad. That’s not what I’m trying to say. I know, I mean. Um, I’ve never been in your exact situation, but I understand blaming yourself for actions you regret.” He offers her a sad smile. “Sorry. I just don’t want to see you be hard on yourself for things you can’t possibly change.”

His words are solemn and heartfelt. 

“You’re okay, Tama. Did you lose someone?”

He nods, staying silent for a moment. “My father and my little brother were killed by a demon. It was supposed to be me who went with my father into town that day, but I made him go instead. I blamed myself for a really long time for that.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Thank you though.” She holds up the haori to look over her work, satisfied that the damage is now barely noticeable. She folds it before placing it in his hands. “You’re right. Regretting doesn’t change that I left him and it won’t bring him back to me.”

“It’s still okay to feel sad, though.”

“Were they your only family?”
“No. I still have my sister. She lives up north.” A soft smile graces his lips. “I think it’s easier to not be hard on myself when I think of her. Knowing I’m still there for her makes me feel a lot better.” 

“I’m glad you have her.”

Panic took over his expression again. “I’m sorry. That probably was insensitive when we’re talking about your son.”

She can’t help but laugh at his reaction. “It’s fine. I-I miss him… I think he could still be alive.” It’s the first time she’s told anyone this. It’s the first time she’s said it aloud . Tama looks back at her with a confused look. “I can’t explain it. I just. I miss him, but when I think about him, I just can’t accept that he’s dead. I feel he’s still out there.” She laughs lightly. “It’s foolish. I’m a fool.”

He shakes his head. “You’re not a fool. Just. Hopeful.”

There’s honesty in his tone. She is grateful for it. 

He starts to tell her about his latest assignment in order to change the subject. She shares stories about what she witnesses the younger children get up to when they are here between assignments. She stays well into the evening talking to him and feels bad when she realizes how much of his time she has taken up. 

“Are you free at all tomorrow?” he asks before she leaves. “The doctor’s assigned me to bed rest for some time, and I’m going to get bored pretty easily. If you have the time, I’d love your company.”

She agrees to meet with him. For the rest of his stay, she spends her free time with him. His company makes her happy in a way that was different than how Douma made her feel. She’s disappointed when his stay comes to an end, but he promises to write to her more this time. 

He keeps the promise. 

===

Another year passes. There’s no news about Douma, and no demons have been sighted near the house or the nearest town. It seems she may be in the clear, for now. Tama is better about keeping communication with her. His crow carries letters to the Wisteria House every month or so when he has the spare time to write. She appreciates and looks forward to each one she receives. Fujita teases her for it, but she brushes it off. Kotoha sees Tama as nothing more than a friend, but he is certainly a dear friend. She owes him so much, but also appreciates his kindness and his time. She would even say he is probably her best friend. 

The updates she receives lead her to believe that it may be safe for her to leave the property. So, Kotoha decides to go to town to run some errands for the first time in almost two years. She takes a warding charm Fujita gifts her with, made out of the wisteria that grows on the property. She tucks it in the fold of her kimono and brushes her fingers against the fabric that holds it every few minutes to ensure it’s still there. 

The closest town isn’t too large, but the street full of stores is a decent size. Were it not for the demon slayers that come in and out of the Wisteria House so often, her social skills would have suffered too much to come out of this trip without it being overwhelmed. But there are no crowds, and she runs what few errands she had with ease. She ends her trip picking up a new kimono, and gets talked into buying a new haori as well. Years ago she’d feel horrible for making a purchase like this for herself. Remembering the dread and fear her husband had instilled in her was almost enough to not go through with the purchase. 

But she found it in herself to leave the house despite the threat of Douma today. If she could overcome her fear of him, she could certainly forget the vile memories of her husband and spend her money on herself without feeling bad. 

The tailor compliments the haori that she picks out — vibrant green with a yellow floral pattern. He tells her that the color matches her eyes beautifully. She just thanks him for the compliment, and keeps it to herself that it caught her eye because it reminded her of Inosuke’s eyes instead. 

That evening she arrives back at the house safely, with no demons in sight. She figures that maybe enough time has passed that she doesn’t need to seclude herself inside the house. In her next letter to Tama, she tells him about her trip out to town. In his reply, he says he’s proud of her and asks if she still plans to remain at the Wisteria House for long. 

She can’t think of an answer. She didn’t really think much during her time there about what she would do if she was ever safe to leave the Wisteria House again. She lost hope in ever seeing Inosuke again. She really didn’t have anywhere to go if she left. 

She avoided answering his question, and instead just teasingly asked if he was trying to get rid of her. 

——

Inosuke’s fourth birthday passes, and six months later follows the three-year mark of Kotoha coming to the Wisteria House. She now goes on regular outings with some of the other house staff to the local town. On New Year’s, she joins them all for the local festival. She watches the fireworks from the hills by the town rather than from the engawa of the house for the first time since she’s arrived at Fujita’s home. She doesn’t appreciate how much louder it is, but they certainly look more beautiful up close. When she returns home with everyone else, she watches as children play with sparklers in the streets. 

It’s not the first time the local children make her think of what she could have had right now if she chose to wait before leaving Inosuke. Each time she does, she makes herself remember the conversation she and Tama had before. Regrets will do nothing for her. Instead, she hopes that Inosuke’s new year is starting off just as happy for him, wherever he may be. 

Winter is coming to an end when Tama returns to the house again. She initially is happy to hear it when Fujita tells her until she notes the somber look in the older man’s eyes. 

She immediately knows that the situation isn’t good. Dread clamps around her heart, making each breath feel heavy and thick. The slayer who was on the assignment with him says he did his best to bring Tama back as fast as he could, but they can only hope the doctor’s treatment can save him. 

She spends the day trying to occupy herself with as many tasks as she can. If she keeps herself busy, she won’t worry as much. She fights to keep a smile, despite how scared she’s feeling. It’s a fear that’s so different from what she’s felt when encountering the dangers of demons, yet it breaks her just as much. Tama has been her closest friend since she left Paradise Faith, and she doesn’t want to lose him. Not yet. 

She feels bad when she has to turn down some of the guests' requests for her to join them for dinner to hear her sing. Singing is something she does out of joy, after all. And right now she certainly isn’t feeling up for it.

It’s fairly late when another maid comes to tell her that the doctor is finished treating Tama. She rushes to the room he’s staying in and is relieved to see him awake, alive .

He’s badly injured though. One look at the limp fabric of his yukata sleeve is all she needs. He’s missing his left arm now. 

Tama looks exhausted, but gives her a small smile when he sees her enter the room. It reassures her enough. He’s going to pull through, and he’s not going anywhere.

She’s not going to lose anyone else. 

===

Both Tama and Kotoha don’t feel like bringing up the obvious issue of what Tama’s supposed to do now for the next few days. She keeps him company when he’s awake, and he sits on the engawa to get fresh air and talk with her while she takes care of her laundry duties. He offers to help her but gets shooed away by her and the other maids, insisting he needs to rest. 

A week has passed by the time he finally decides to say something.

“I think I have to retire,” he says over lunch. “I mean. I don’t think I do, I really have no other choice. I don’t think I can fight with only one arm. It’s just, I never thought of what I was supposed to do other than this for so long.”

Kotoha nods in understanding. She gets it, to a degree. She knows how frustrating it can be to start over when the rug gets pulled out from under you. She’s done it twice now. Tama at least has the benefit of having friends and fellow demon slayers to turn to. He had a support system despite everything. She’s more than happy to be a part of it. 

“Do you know what you’re going to do?” she asks. He shakes his head. 

“I’m not sure.” He hums in thought as he rubs the hem of his sleeve. “I could find a different job in the Corps I’m sure.” He doesn’t sound like he likes that option at all. 

“What about your sister?” Kotoha suggests. 

“I could. I just. She has a family now. And I don’t want to be a burden on her.”

“I doubt you would be.” He seems unconvinced. 

“I thought about moving to the city,” he admitted. “It was my plan to retire and move there when I got older. I don’t know if I should stick with it.”

“You should. If it’s something you’ve wanted to do.” 

“I don’t know. I don’t know if I have enough money set aside. Not to mention I don’t know what work I’d find now. And… frankly, it’s a little intimidating to think of moving somewhere so big where I don’t have anyone.”

She nods in understanding. She’s very familiar with being held back from pursuing going somewhere that would have made her happier by the fear of being alone. 

She knows her next suggestion will probably sound ridiculous — to him at least. 

“I could go with you.”

“What?”

“I could go with you. I’m sure that between the two of us we could make enough money to rent a place together.”

He simply stares at her, surprised. “I couldn’t ask you to do that Kotoha.”

“Why not? I determined that it’s safe for me to leave here now.” He looks unconvinced. “When I realized I didn’t know what I’d do if I could leave here, I felt lost. Save for you and Fujita, I don’t have anyone else I can turn to if I wanted to. You have a plan but you’re scared to go alone. So let me go with you. I owe you that much, after everything.”

He sighs, his shoulders dropping but a small smile pulling at his lips. “...you’re really too kind.”

“I just care about my friend.”

“Are you sure?” She nods. “You realize that two unmarried people renting together is going to raise some eyebrows.”

She hadn’t thought of that. She personally wouldn’t mind too much. With all she endured in her past marriage, she could really care less what rumors spread about her and her marital status. She didn’t realize until Tama pointed it out that this proposition could come off as too strong of an advance though. She gasped and clapped her hands over her mouth. 

“Oh — Tama, no. I’m sorry I realized that could have come off the wrong way. I only see you as a friend. I would only want to live together as friends. I don’t mind what people say, but I just wanted you to know where I stand on it.”

That got a laugh out of Tama, who even looked relieved. “No, it’s fine Kotoha. As long as you don’t mind what people say.”

She shakes her head. “I don’t. I… don’t think I want to get married again. If I can avoid it. Unless you were thinking more for yourself. I understand it would be hard to settle down with someone if we lived together.”

Tama turned red at that. “That’s, ah, no concern.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m, well, I’m not interested in women.”

There was a moment of silence before Kotoha laughed with relief. “Good! As long as I’m not getting in the way of any of your own plans.” He just stares at her. “What?”

“Nothing. That’s just… a very odd reaction to have.” He pauses. “So. We’re moving to the city?”

“We’re moving to the city.”

Chapter Text

Kotoha and Tama have spent eleven years together in the small home they share in Tokyo. When they first moved to the city, they had rented a small home. After they collected enough funds over the years, they finally had enough to buy their own home together. A small home, but a home nonetheless. It was a cramped space, but the two made do with it. Over the years the two had acquired a variety of decorations to adorn it. Tama’s nichirin sword hung on the wall, alongside a few different ornaments and prints he had collected. Kotoha had filled the home with trinkets she adored, and it made her heart feel lighter every time she realized she wouldn’t need the approval of someone else to put it on display. 

It felt more like home than her husband’s manor ever did. 

Her work at the Wisteria House ended up being useful since it helped Kotoha find a reliable job as a maid at one of the city’s larger inns. Dealing with rowdy young demon slayers and the general chaos that came with interacting with the Corps had made the customer service aspect of the job easier. 

Tama had found work with the postal service. His days were spent carrying mostly letter mail throughout the city. He seemed happy enough with it. He didn’t have to constantly deal with people as much as Kotoha did, which she thought was for the best. The battle-hardened soldier had long retired, leaving behind the meek yet kind man. He had at least gotten better with crowds over the years. It didn’t stop her from teasing him about whether he acted this awkward around the demons that he had slain. 

He never found those jokes as funny as she did.

She counts off each of Inosuke’s birthdays. Each year she lets herself wonder what it is he could be doing. He would be fifteen now. Is he attending school in a city? Is he living in the countryside? Has he found a trade he’s decided to practice? Each year she finds something small to do to celebrate his birthday. Tama is more than happy to join her.

She doesn’t let herself regret, only hopes her boy is happy wherever he is. 

It’s eleven years of peace. There’s no demon related incidents that impact them — Douma or otherwise — though she keeps the wisteria charm on her at all times. The two stay in good health. They make enough money to live comfortably. It’s a simple yet pleasant lifestyle. It’s exactly what Kotoha had wanted. 

Everything remains fine until a letter arrives from Tama’s sister.

Kotoha arrives home to see Tama reading over the letter with a grim expression. She’s immediately concerned because it’s rare to see Tama ever look so worried.

“Atsushi’s fallen ill,” he explains after he finishes reading over the letter. Kotoha has met Tama’s family only once before when she joined him to visit them all one New Years a few years back. His sister Sachiko is an energetic and brash person that contrasts her brother’s shy, reserved personality perfectly. Her husband Atsushi, the butcher of their local village, was a patient, laid-back soul who took her eccentricities in stride. The couple and their three children had been more than happy to accept Kotoha into their family as well. Worry festered in her chest at the news that Atsushi was now sick.

“Is it not looking good?” she asks. Tama shakes his head.

“No. He’s bedridden. And the doctor doesn’t know how long he’ll be like this. Akio is old enough to take over the business, but Sachiko is also pregnant…”

“She is?”

“Yeah. That was the good news of the letter, according to her.” Kotoha can't help but laugh at that. “I’m happy for her. It’s just, ah, a bit concerning.”

She nods in understanding as she sits next to him, taking the letter and looking it over herself. “Should we ask if she needs help?”

“I feel she’s too prideful to accept it,” Tama sighed. 

“Well, tell her we’re visiting and then we’ll just stay to help anyways. She can’t say no when we’re already there.”

“That’s rude. But it’s the only way to get her to agree.” 

That night they make arrangements for their trip after Tama sends a letter off to tell Sachiko to prepare for their arrival. Kotoha can tell he feels guilty for being so pushy right now. She tells him that helping out his stubborn sister isn’t something he should feel bad about. 

===

The village reminds Kotoha of the one she grew up in. It’s a close-knit community located at the base of a mountain. A thick blanket of snow covers the ground when she and Tama arrive. Sachiko tries to act mad at her brother, but hard as she tries she can’t stop smiling when they arrive. She shoves snow in his face when he arrives. He doesn’t find it nearly as funny as Sachiko or Kotoha do. 

Her three children are all ecstatic to see Kotoha. Akio has just turned fifteen and has grown to be taller than she is since she last saw him. The twins, Eiji and Etsuko, are only eight. They cling to her sides and excitedly try to speak over each other to update her on their lives. The first time she had come here, the attention of the children had almost been too much. It brought back thoughts of what she could have had and what she had lost so many years ago. But Sachiko and Atsushi could be seen in every aspect of these children -- from their appearances to their patient kindness and their sense of humor. There was no mistaking whose children these were, and Kotoha was just grateful to be a part of their lives. 

“Auntie, we’re going to have a new sister or brother!” Etsuko squeals as Tama and Kotoha finally make it into the house. Her mother shushes her, reminding her that she needs to keep quiet when her father is sleeping.
“I heard,” Kotoha whispers back. “That’s why Tama and I came. We’re here to help your mom.”

“I’m still mad at you two for that,” Sachiko says with crossed arms. “I am fine.”

“Then we’re here to help Atsushi instead,” Tama replies. “You’re going to need someone to help with the store if he’s still recovering and when you have your hands full with the baby.” He’s unperturbed by his sister’s annoyed glare. “This was Kotoha’s idea.”

“Thank you, Tama. I really admire your selflessness,” Kotoho says sarcastically. 

“You’re lucky I love you both,” Sachiko groans. 

It’s luckily not a rough adjustment. Their home is nothing in size compared to the inn or the Wisteria house, so it's a breeze to keep on top of all the chores and household duties. She usually stays at the house with Sachiko to help care for the bedridden Atsushi and the two smaller children. Tama helps Akio at the butcher shop. He’s quick to learn the business. Trimming meat is a child's play compared to slaying demons, even if he is down to only one arm.

According to Sachiko, the baby isn’t due for another three months. She insists she isn’t helpless, but Kotoha can tell she is relieved to have some help through the situation. Even if they hadn’t arrived, Kotoha feels that the townspeople would have been more than happy to help the family. She slowly becomes acquainted with all of them over the next few days. They’re all loving and kind and show obvious concern for the family. They would have looked out for Sachiko and Atsushi without being asked. 

Still, Atsushi tells her it was probably better that Kotoha and Tama showed up. Sachiko can be as stubborn and prideful as she wants to the town, but she hasn't been able to turn away family. 

The winter is harsher here than it was in the Wisteria house or in the city. There’s certainly more snow, which Kotoha can’t say she enjoys. It’s almost as bad as the winters at her husband’s estate. 

At least here she has a home to run to instead of one she’s running from. 

The house relies on charcoal burners to keep the chill away. This is only a hassle since the charcoal salesman is from the neighboring town and doesn’t visit quite as often, meaning that they have to stock up when he does come around. 

“Is there not someone who sells it locally?” Kotoha asked as she helped put their newly bought charcoal away. Sachiko looks sad at the question.

“There used to be. The family that used to sell charcoal lived up the mountain. There was an accident two years ago.” Sachiko brushes her hands against her apron. “It’s pretty sad. It was only the widow and the kids, and almost all of them died. The eldest brother and sister were the only two that survived. It left her in a bad state, and he took her to find someone to help her heal. Some of us go up to their house every few weeks to make sure it’s still in good shape. For when they come back.”

“How old were they?”

“Hm. They were about thirteen I think.”

That would make them about fifteen now. Just around how old Inosuke should be. 

“That’s horrible.” It made her sick to think of something terrible happening to children of that age. She couldn’t get herself to ask what the accident was. She didn’t think she could deal with any of the details at the moment. And maybe Sachiko realized it too because she easily changed the topic to gossip she had heard about the new charcoal salesman. 

“He’s fine, I guess. But Tanjiro was a lot nicer,” Sachiko huffed. Kotoha couldn’t help but laugh a bit at her obvious favoritism. 

“You always bought extra from Tanjiro,” Atsushi commented. “We’re certainly saving money now.”

“He was such a sweet kid! I couldn’t help it!” Sachiko pouted. “You can’t talk, I know you gave him more pork than he paid for when he bought from us.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He feigned innocence, turning away as he sipped his tea. Sachiko scoffed with a smile as she rubbed the charcoal from her fingers against his nose. “Hey!”

The twins got inspired to cover their own hands in charcoal and try to rub it against their family members when seeing this. Akio and Sachiko tried to scold them, their angry tone’s betrayed with wide smiles. Tama avoided the bulk of it by using Kotoha as a shield. 

“Tama! You coward!” she laughs as the twins smear charcoal across her, leaving dark handprints in her kimono. 

“I think it's a very fashionable pattern,” he tells her. She retorts by covering her own hand in charcoal and smearing it across his face before he can get away. 

It was hard to think such a sad tale could happen in a place she found this much happiness in. 

===

The story of the Kamado family is a sad one that Kotoha doesn’t think much about until the beginning of spring begins to melt out the snow. Sachiko laments that she doesn’t think she can make the journey up to the Kamado house to help with the biannual upkeep of the property that she usually helps with. The shop is closed for the day, so Kotoha tells her she’d be more than happy to take the twins up to the mountain with Tama in Sachiko’s place. 

The trail up the mountain is less hazardous as the gathered villagers take a trek up the Kamado house. Kotoha doesn’t ask if there was ever a stated guarantee from the remaining family members that they would return. It seemed the villagers didn’t need to hear it — they were confident that one day the two children would return. 

Kotoha found it reassuring to see so many people hold out hope for the two children. It warmed her heart to see that so many of their neighbors cared for them despite the tragedy they had dealt with.

It’s a beautiful house, she thinks. It’s the perfect place for a loving family to call home. It’s sad to think something tragic happened here. It’s heartwarming to think that this home is waiting for people to come back to it. 

There’s a gravesite at the back of the property. Seeing it up close breaks her heart. She and Tama pay their respects, hoping that the souls have found rest and the two children left behind are safe. 

“Have you heard what happened?” Tama asks her. She shakes her head. “The adults say it was a bear attack. Eiji told me that the stories the kids spread around are that it was a demon.”

Her heart sinks. “Are the stories true?”

“I don’t know. It’s hard to tell with kids stories.” 

“What do you think?”

“...I think it’s possible.”

She looks back down at the graves. “I hope it’s dead.”

“I hope so too.” 

===

A few days shy of Inosuke’s sixteenth birthday, Sachiko has a baby girl. 

They name her Ayame. She’s healthy and beautiful and a blessing to the house. Kotoha even notes how Tama begins to tear up when his sister lets him hold her. 

Kotoha can’t help but feel bitterly nostalgic at holding the baby in her arms. She can’t help but remember when Inosuke was this little, many years ago. 

But she doesn’t get stuck in the delusion. Ayame has her father's beautiful dark eyes, not the bright viridian her own son has. And despite how loud her crying can be, she can’t help but think that it was nothing compared to how loud Inosuke could be. 

Atsushi’s health begins to take a turn for the better. Color begins to return to his cheeks, and he’s no longer drained of energy. The doctor said that he should make a full recovery. It’s a huge relief for the family. 

Kotoha knows that she and Tama will no longer be needed when he fully recovers. She thinks neither of them wants to admit that they aren’t ready to leave Sachiko and her family quite yet. 

About a month later, a crow relays to Tama that the demons have been eradicated. 

The two are astonished by the news. It feels unreal. 

“All of them?” Kotoha asks. Tama nods, looking just as shaken up as she feels. “...Douma included?”

“I...I think?” 

“How?”

“They killed the original. I think. The only one that can make demons.”

The two sit in silence for some time before he lets out a relieved laugh. She shortly joins him. 

He’s dead. Douma’s gone. She had come so accustomed to the fear of him over the years that she no longer recognized how heavy it weighed on her until relief flooded over her. She leans against Tama as they relish in the feeling. 

They’re safe. 

Shortly after, the charcoal salesman and his sister return to their home on top of the mountain. There’s an energetic, joyful presence throughout the village. It’s a long-awaited, happy conclusion to the tragedy that happened years before, and everyone's so glad to have the children they adore back home. And even though the two are people Kotoha has never met before, she can’t help but feel elated and smile at the news along with everyone else. 

“Can we go up to see them?” Eiji pleads at the dinner table. “Akio can take us!”

“No. They’re probably overwhelmed by everyone else coming to see them while they’re trying to settle in.” Etsuko and Eiji both whine when their mother tells them no. Kotoha can’t help but laugh at their enthusiasm. 

“It’ll be better for you to wait until they come down the mountain,” Akio says. “Besides, you guys always get tired on the way back home. I don’t want to carry you.” 

“But who knows how long that will be!” Etsuko cries. 

Kotoha watches as the twins continue to pester their brother from the engawa where she sits with Tama. “It’s been a good spring so far,” she says. 

“It has,” he agrees. 

===

Kotoha is hanging laundry out to dry when the charcoal seller comes around. She’s putting the last of the sheets up to dry when she hears Sachiko exclaim excitedly from the entryway of the home, followed by excited screams from the twins. She figures it must be Tanjiro, because she can’t think of anyone else that would get such an ecstatic response out of Sachiko.

It’s been about a week since the Kamados had returned home. The happy energy that their return initially brought to the village had yet to die down. Many of their neighbors had gone up to the house on the mountain to welcome them back, and she heard second-hand tales of their travels. There seemed to be two other children of the same age living up there with them too, meaning that the charcoal seller’s family had grown to include more than just his sister. 

She puts the last article of clothing out to dry before heading back inside to see what it is that her sister is so excited about. There are a few unfamiliar voices that she hears as she heads to the entryway. There are at least two different ones she can make out. 

“Hashibira?” 

She hears Sachiko before she walks into the entryway. Her sister is visibly surprised as she looks at one of the boys standing at the door. The one that she stares at has his face obscured by a boar mask. The other one wears a checkered haori and looks between Sachiko and his companion with confusion. When he turns to Kotoha, it shifts to one of recognition and realization. She’s about to ask Sachiko what was happening — and why her former last name was mentioned in the conversation — when the other boy cut in.

“Yes! Hashibira! Can you not hear properly? I can say it louder!” He puffs out his chest and places his hands on his hips with a triumphant huff. “I’m Inosuke Hashibira, and I’m going to be the new King of this mountain!” 

Kotoha’s heart skipped a beat. 

For a second she feared maybe this was all some sort of dream. She never stopped believing Inosuke was alive, but she long gave up on the idea she would ever come face to face with him again. This couldn’t be real, could it? What were the chances that he wasn’t right there at the door or that he had said a different name? 

“Well, that’s a coincidence. Hey, Tama—” Sachiko turns around to call for her brother but stops when she sees Kotoha. She immediately looks concerned, which told Kotoha she probably looked as shaken as she felt. 

“Inosuke?” Her voice was already threatening to crack. He turned his attention to her with a sharp turn of his head, the eyes of the boar mask staring directly at her. After a second, his shoulders relaxed and his head tilted to the side curiously. 

“Yes?”

She didn’t process closing the gap between the two. She felt tears threatening to spill from her eyes as she stood in front of him. She hesitated to reach for his mask, afraid that her fingers would slip through and reveal that he wasn’t really there. 

His head straightened up as he looked at her hand. “You want this off?” he asked. She nodded her head, and he obliged. 

It was almost like looking into a mirror. There were a few differences in his face. His jaw was sharper, his nose was a little rounder, and his eyebrows were bushier. But he resembled her so much that this couldn’t possibly be a different Inosuke. 

“I’d say he’s a little you, but he’s taller, Kotoha,” Sachiko commented. She couldn’t help but laugh, grateful as ever for Sachiko’s humor. 

Inosuke’s eyes widened. “Kotoha?” His whisper was so soft that she barely heard it. She answered with a nod. 

He hesitantly reached for her outstretched hand, linking their pinkies together and staring at them with a look of contemplation that fit a young child. And the little action of linking their pinkies, of confirming that he remembered the song she used to serenade him with, was all she needed to finally confirm that he was here and he was truly her Inosuke. She pulls him into a hug, holding him as tightly as she can as her tears begin to fall. 

“You’ve gotten so big,” she says through sobbing laughter. 

He hugs her back, with a hold far stronger than her own. She’s pretty sure she hears her spine pop, but only laughs harder because she’s so happy that her son has grown to be so strong and so big and he’s here . 

“Inosuke careful! Don’t crush her!” his companion exclaims, his arms frantically waving with worry. He lets out a surprised sound and lets go of Kotoha, pushing her in front of him and looking her over frantically. 

“You didn’t hurt me, it’s okay!” she assures, holding his face in her hands. There are tears beginning to well up in his own eyes, and she wipes them gently away with her thumbs. She has so many questions she wants to ask and doesn’t know where she’s supposed to start. 

“That ugly demon bastard told me he killed you,” Inosuke said. 

She’s stricken with a sudden fear hearing this. That despite knowing the demons have been eliminated, Douma still may be out there, that he’s run into Inosuke, that he knew Inosuke was her son. Inosuke must see the scared look in her eyes because he takes both her hands in his own and holds them tight, and gives her an enthusiastic, encouraging smile. 

His smile sure is something. It looks more befitting of a rebellious younger child than a boy his age. It’s so genuine and happy that she can’t find any reason that she wouldn’t love it. 

“It’s okay though! I killed him and sent him to hell!” 

There’s so much confidence in his tone. Pride swells in her chest as her son boasts, and it’s all she needs to get rid of her fears. 

He’s safe and he’s healthy, confirming what she’s believed all these years. And he’s here . 

She gave up hope on ever seeing him again and yet here he stands. She hugs him tight again, convinced she’ll never let him get away from her again.