Chapter Text
Despite the cooling system, Jennie was partly soaked in sweat after getting crazy on the dance floor. Jumping, swaying her hips and letting her limbs dance along to every beat of the songs that the DJ played. Is she a party animal? Not really. Why is she here? Because she's free.
Jennie sat in one of the bar stools as she wipes her sweat out of her skin — from her forehead all the way down to her neck as she let her purse rests on top of the bar counter. "A glass of cold water, please." she asks from the young gentleman which was answered by a nod.
A woman clad in a black thigh length dress with one shoulder being exposed & a pair of black stilettos, hair tied in a high pony tail exposing her neck & nape with a hanging silvertone necklace highlighted with a letter "L" pendant partying alone in a bar surely gets love calls.
So Jennie did, a few moments after getting her glass of water, a man holding a glass of what Jennie assumes as wine approached and sat next to her.
"Hi. Sorry if I somehow look creepy but David by the way." he offers a hand for a handshake. Jennie stares at him for a while and soon returned the gesture. Hanging out with someone won't hurt, would it?
"No, you're good since you approached nicely. I'm Jennie." she says and their contact was separated.
"Nice name. I'll be honest to keep on not being creepy." he says which made Jennie chuckle.
"Okay go ahead."
"I was watching you earlier when you're in the dance floor and boy I could've sworn all the men in the club were gawking." Jennie stares at him with an amused smirk, she knows he's flirting.
"And that includes you, am I right?"
"Ops. Busted." he shyly says.
Jennie chuckles and takes another sip from her water. The man named David saw it and asks. "Would you like to get something to drink other than water? It'll be on me."
Jennie looks at him and says. "I'll have it later. I got too sweaty, I need water."
"Okay, on me, alright?"
"If you say so, Sir." Jennie says as she takes another sip from the cold water.
"By the way are you alone?" he asks after a few minutes of silence.
"Yes." Jennie replies after emptying her glass of water.
"You?" When David noticed the empty glass, he raised a hand for service.
"I have my friends somewhere but they'd probably ditched me again." he says.
"What drink do you want to have?"
"Any suggestions?"
David stares at her for a while. "Margarita on the rocks, perhaps? Take it slow."
Jennie raised an eyebrow. "Too soft but okay, I'll take it."
David chuckles. "Like I said, take it slow. MOTR would be a perfect starter."
"If you say so, thanks."
"No biggie. Anyway, why are you alone though? I mean coming in a bar alone is kind of like lonely."
Jennie shakes her head whilst chuckling, her head spins back to "her".
That comment reminds her so much of her when they first met over two year ago. "Nah, I usually bring my friends but this time, I just want to come here alone."
David thanks the bartender so did Jennie after serving her drink with the lemon and salt around the rim of the glass.
"I see." David replies. "Uhm, would you mind if I am going to accompany you tonight by the way?"
Jennie takes a sip from her glass and winces as the bitterness spiked with alcohol and salt had slowly drip down along her throat, grabbing the lemon to help her recover from the taste. "Sure."
And so David became Jennie's companion for the night. They've talked about random things, whatever comes in their mind would become their topic but obviously not touching the topic that was deemed to be prohibited in a bar filled with flirtatious moves and talks — relationship.
None of them seemed to care about it though. He finished at least 7 full glasses of his own liquor and Jennie finished at least 3 full shots of her own drink — intoxicated but somehow still conscious of everything she says and does. Still aware of what's happening around her.
During her 4th glass, Jennie sensed him moving close to her, skinships are slowly showing and much more vulgar words are being used in their conversations. Liquor surely boosts up someone's confidence and drags you out of your shell, it activates something you've been hiding.
Jennie knows this is wrong, she knows what's going to happen if she continues this however the rebel and feeling of getting out there to have fun once again over rules her logic and consciousness. That when David leans in for a kiss she gladly accepted it. Liquor has its way.
The kiss didn't last long but it was long enough to make them an item for the entire night. They talk once again, from boring topics to funniest ones — they've both seemed to cover it up until Jennie's phone went off for an incoming call.
Curious, Jennie stops talking which was then soon got a permission from the man to check whoever is calling her in case it was an emergency. She opens her purse and saw the caller ID.
Jennie's throat dried and her head spins.
Calling... "Lisa"
She quickly placed her phone on mute when the call ended. She placed the phone back in her purse when it signals for a new call, it's from her.
"You should answer that." he says.
"Nah, it's fine. Where were we?" Jennie says and let their conversation flow again.
Who is Lisa? Why is she calling her?
Lisa, Lisa Manoban — the woman Jennie gladly said "Yes" over a year ago.
The woman who's currently in New York attending a fashion show as one of a brand's catwalk models, the woman she's in a relationship.
How fucked isn't it?
Lisa had been out of the country for almost a month due to her job as a supermodel of a modelling company who's always being contacted whenever Fashion Weeks start. This separation wasn't the first time Jennie had to deal w/ but it's the first time she'd ever done the forbidden.
Jennie's phone went off so many times that night but never heard a single of it — putting her device on mute, the loud music in the bar & the man talking and flirting in front of her distracted her from her lover, from the woman who seeks for comfort before walking on the runway.
Getting intoxicated with a man blatantly flirting with her in a bar somewhere far from the metropolis to avoid bumping into someone who knows her while the woman in the other side of the world is still trying to reach for her comfort, her safety blanket — her girlfriend.
In Seoul, she is in the dance floor so she could dance the night away filled with kissing, grinding and groping. In New York, she's walking, branding and impressing everyone who are attending the event.
One is working while the other one — no sugar coating needed — cheating.
15 minutes past 2 o'clock in the morning when Jennie decided to call it a night — tipsy, high and intoxicated. She'd refused the man's offer of sending her home because her alibi was that she lives far from the place when in fact, it's just because of being afraid of getting caught.
Jennie was knocked straight out of consciousness when she'd arrived home and woke up 30 minutes past 9 o'clock in the morning — having one of the worst hangover she has ever had. Once done freshening up, Jennie finally checks her phone which was left abandoned in almost 12 hrs.
16 missed calls and 16 unread messages from Lisa. That's the time her guilt creeps inside her consciousness. She had totally forgotten the routine that Lisa usually does before her runway — it's by calling her to let her nerves calm down. She felt horrible & disgusted to herself.
Her guilt grows upon seeing the messages from Lisa.
"I miss you."
"You're probably asleep, I'm nervous but sleep well, love."
"I love you."
"This is the first time I'm not able to hear your voice before the walk. It feels really weird."
"Done! I made it but I miss you."
In times when Lisa was missing her, she's out there kissing another man. In times when Lisa was seeking for her comfort, she's out there getting her own from a total stranger. In times when Lisa was asking for attention, she was out there enjoying the lust driven advances.
After getting her daily doze of caffeine, Jennie finally calls her back which was then answered after 2 rings.
"Hey!" comes a lively reply. Her guilt worsen.
"Hello. I am so sorry for the unanswered calls and texts."
"No no it's okay. You were probably so tired after work."
Jennie almost choked and burned herself from her coffee. She knows it's unhealthy and most especially wrong to hide it from her but she doesn't have the courage to tell her everything because she knows Lisa will leave her and she can't take that. No. Not ever.
She knows that she shouldn't keep anything from her but her logic says that she's hiding it away because she loves her. Selfish? Definitely. Why is she doing it? Because she can't imagine breaking things up with her. Why did she do it in the first place? She doesn't really know.
So she'd decided to keep everything locked and unrecoverable. If keeping it hidden until her last breath would be the only way to not lose her then she's willing to do that. Last night, it's the night that she will never be proud of. The night she'd broken her promise to her.
A promise they've both made over a year ago. A promise that Jennie never thought she'd ever break. A promise that could shatter not only their hearts but their plans for their future.
"I promise to never cheat on you. I love you."
Promises are indeed made to be broken.
"Hey, you still there?" Lisa speaks when Jennie did not reply.
"O..oh, yeah. Sorry, day dreamt for a while. How's the show?"
"It was fun! Nerve-wracking but super fun. Got to meet several fashion designers and celebrities too." The enthusiasm in Lisa voice is very obvious.
"You though? How's work? Got a new design? Rested well?"
The pure happiness, excitement & pureness in Lisa's voice broke her. It creates cracks after cracks in her being because she just cheated on someone who truly cares for her. Who truly sees her as who she is as a person. Jennie was trying so hard not to break down because Lisa easily gets worried and that's not good considering their distance so she breathed in and out before answering.
"Yeah I did. The designs will be proposed next week, perhaps?"
"I see. They'll surely love it."
"You've not seen them how sure are you that they'd love it?"
"Everything you do is an absolute perfection cause you are perfect."
No she's not. She cheated on her while she's away just to fill in the void of missing the sensation of being physically cared. Perfect? Impossible.
"W.. what a sweet talker." her heart is breaking.
"I am not." Jennie heard her chuckle and a yawn followed. "Sleepy?"
"Kind.. of." she trails as it got cut off by another yawn.
"You need to sleep."
"Hm." Jennie chuckles.
"In bed now?"
"Yeah, wishing you're here." Jennie closed her eyes as she takes a deep breath, just why. Why did she do that?
"I miss you too. Come home soon."
"Hm." Lisa says.
"I love you." For the first time, Jennie felt undeserving from the amount of love and trust that Lisa had been giving her. Why did she break it.
"I.. I love you too. I love you." she felt the need to say that again because she wants her to know it.
Lisa did not reply right after that and a series of soft snore followed a few moments after. Jennie ended the call before she breaks down into tears. Tears of disgust, madness towards herself and the fact that she just cheated on to the woman she secretly had wished for and prayed to be her lifetime partner will hunt her for the rest of her life. It might be just a one night fling but it's still a form of cheating.
Jennie then felt the need to clean herself so she did. She spent a long time under the shower, soaping her body and hair in hopes of getting rid of the infidelity she did last night. She wants to forget everything. His kisses. His touches. Everything.
She cried in the shower not because she's sad but because she's angry. She's tainted and it will never be erased. She cheated on her and it's already part of a history she could no longer change.
***
Days have passed and Lisa finally went back home from a long week of work. Her next schedule will be the Paris Fashion Week and it will be in a few weeks from then.
"Babe!" Lisa announces her arrival after stepping in.
Sounds of flipflops are getting louder and few moments after, she found herself almost losing her entire balance after getting pounced by a strong hug from Jennie, arms around her neck and legs around her waist — good thing she's strong enough to carry and withstand the impact.
"Oh my god I miss you so much." Jennie says, face snuggled against the crook of Lisa's neck.
Jennie soon felt a kiss on her temple before she heard her reply. "I miss you so much too."
They stayed like that for a few moments until Lisa pokes her side. "You're being a koala."
"A cute koala." comes in a reply that almost came out as a whisper against Lisa's neck which made her laugh — Jennie missed that. "
True but let me get in. I have souvenirs for you."
Jennie looks up at her lover. "I got the best gift New York has to offer."
An eyebrow raised. "Let me guess, me?"
"Oh come on, don't ruin my punchline."
Lisa laughs which was soon muffled by a kiss from Jennie. They spent few moments being in each other's arms and comfort as they are now sharing a slow and gentle kiss.
It didn't last long as Lisa breaks it. "Now now." Lisa says whilst panting, that slow kiss took away their oxygen. "Let me unpack first?"
Jennie gets off of lisa and grabs her by collar. "Undress me first." she whispers against her lips and smirks when she saw how Lisa gulps.
And so, Lisa had her way in getting rid of whatever clothing Jennie has in her body. Weeks of not being able to physically touch each other fuels up the lust and it intensifies the sensation. Scratches, loud moans, dirty demands and both reached multiple peaks, it was memorable.
One was relishing the moment while the other one is trying to make things up to her lover, to get rid of the nightmares she had been getting over the past few days — it's always about the thing she had done in that bar in that unfaithful night, literally unfaithful.
Jennie gently caresses the scratches she had done on her lover's back while Lisa pampers her neck w/ kisses — filled w/ bites & love marks Lisa had inflicted. She's always proud getting those from her. Would Lisa be proud if she knows that someone kissed that same neck days ago?
Lisa rolls off of her which Jennie immediately snuggled against Lisa's embrace when the latter had comfortably positioned herself. Jennie kissed Lisa's collar and Lisa did it on her forehead whilst playing with her hair using the same hand of the arm that Jennie had her head on.
"Can I unpack now?" Lisa blurted out which made Jennie laugh.
"Later." she says and locks her tightly in her arms and legs.
"A koala again. Alright alright." Lisa stifles a yawn soon after, jetlag and exhaustion from their session took a toll towards her body.
Jennie lands a quick peck on the latter's chin. "Sleep."
"Hm." Lisa's eyes had slowly closed.
"Sorry to strain you so much." Jennie caressed her chest, lulling her to sleep.
"It's.. okay.. You don't need my forgiveness." and Lisa completely drifts off.
"I do." Jennie whispers.
Jennie stops herself from crying as she snuggles in her lover's embrace and warmth, hoping to finally get a good sleep now that Lisa's finally home but she was wrong. Her nightmares had gotten worse as the days passed by. It intensifies whenever they cuddle to sleep.
Even her subconsciousness despise her from what she'd done. Her stomach churns so painfully whenever Lisa stares at her filled with love and adoration as if she was so perfect in her eyes. Her heart hurts whenever Lisa says she loves her because she knows she doesn't deserve it.
It was until 2 days before Lisa had to travel to Paris to attend and participate the fashion week with Jennie also attending during the week events but Lisa had to go first for the rehearsals — when things turned upside down and Jennie's worst nightmare happened.
Lisa is in their walk in closet while Jennie's fixing and checking her luggage, doing final checks to make sure she's not going to miss anything essential as she leaves for work — since Paris Fashion Week usually takes longer than New York Fashion Week.
Jennie zips the luggage's secret pocket open, it's the location where Lisa usually slips important papers she might needed whenever she goes out of the country — along with the birth certificate and some legal papers is an envelope that Jennie never saw & wished she didn't.
Jennie's usually being compared to a cat due to her features especially her eyes & remember that quote "Curiosity kills the cat"? It did. The envelope consists of several physical copies of shots taken from that night which was the genesis of her constant nightmares.
Her eyes are wide in shock, hands are trembling in horror and heart is pumping in panic as she switches from piece to piece. Unaware of the eyes of the woman who is just looking at her from the door frame of the closet, eyes filled with sorrow, sadness and regret.
Jennie looks up as tears are slowly escaping out of her eyes. Her eyes might be blurry but it's clear to her that Lisa's looking at her in silence — a silence that slaps her to the reality that Lisa knew it all along, a silence that is loud enough for her to know that it's over.
"Should've not kept it somewhere you'd see." Lisa says, still in her normal voice as if nothing happened. A chuckle followed by steps moving towards her.
"You should've not seen this." the latter continues as she takes the pictures and envelope.
Jennie gulps. "W-Why?"
Lisa calmly slips the photos back inside the envelope and seconds later, Jennie felt the most painful heart break she ever had experienced.
Lisa is crying while looking at her and smiling. "I must've been very boring huh?" Lisa says — her tears are flowing non stop.
"Well.." Lisa trails and wipes her tears away. ".. I was gone for weeks so I can't blame you for trying to have fun."
Lisa grips on her luggage and drags it close to her so she could slip the envelope in before zipping it close. "Doesn't hurt less though. Damn you cheated on me."
Lisa stands up with Jennie having her tongue caught in her throat. "If you're asking me how I got them, the owner of the club is Chaeng's sister. She was there that night. How long have I known? Right after my walk, I already know when you're trying to get rid of your hangover."
"Did you have fun?" there was no trace of sarcasm in Lisa's voice, it was a genuine question which hurt Jennie even more.
Her tears are flowing, it did not even stop. Jennie hides her face in her hands, bawling and can't even come up with an answer.
Jennie would tell almost everything to Lisa, from irrelevant things and topics to something she's proud of and the things in between the spectrum — that night was a total exemption, it's a night of unfaithfulness. Cheating leaves scars, it'll leave marks.
Lisa silently wipes her tears while waiting for Jennie to speak. Her heart hurts so much she just wanted to scream. The wound she'd been trying to band-aid ever since she saw the photos and video clips weeks ago opened up again, this time it cuts deeper and longer.
Fuck it hurts.
"Just be honest with me please." Lisa says, her voice is getting softer and it's cracking little by little.
"Why.. Why did you do that?" Jennie remains still, crying and hiding her face from the reality that she's been trying to avoid. Her shoulders shake as she sobs harder.
Lisa patiently waits, sitting down on the edge of the bed whilst looking around the roon w/c is a witness of everything they had gone through ever since they decided to live together w/ tears in her eyes. Such a shame. Her eyes landed back on Jennie who's wiping her tears off.
"I... I am so sorry." Jennie says as she slowly looks up to meet Lisa's cold gaze, it rattles her. She had never seen those eyes became so dark and dull — her soul is now screaming and her heart shattering. "Please.. please don't leave."
"You know.. I was waiting for you to tell me." Lisa says as she closes her eyes and a tear drops. Jennie tries to move closer and when Lisa sensed it, she says. "Don't.. don't come closer." It was cold — close to being emotionless.
Jennie felt her world stops and breaks. Shit.
Lisa opens her eyes with nothing but dullness reflected on it. Jennie wants to be a rebel and hug her but she can't, not only because Lisa asked her to not do so but also because Lisa's stare made her stay rooted on their tiled floor. "Why Jennie unnie?"
Jennie's tears flow out harder. Lisa had stopped calling her unnie ever since they became a couple. For Lisa's reasoning, she preferred calling her any lover's endearment. Lisa once told her that calling her 𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘦 again declares back to ZERO status and she just did.
When Jennie is still not answering her question, Lisa continues. "I know that you know that it's now taking my all to not scream at you at this moment so please, to save both of us from everything, tell me why."
"I.. I don't know.. I really don't." she says.
"I.. I went there to unwind after a very stressful and pressured week I had to deal with.." Jennie says — eyes now looking at Lisa's.
"I.. I honestly don't know what came into me to allow his advances. It was just an innocent drink but then.." Jennie hiccups again.
To Lisa's credit, she did not cut her off and let the older to continue. ".. I got very intoxicated and my logic failed my decision."
"Please, please don't leave me. Let me fix this, fix us. I'll do everything for you to forgive me." Jennie isn't the begging type but she did so.
Lisa had her gaze lock with Jennie's. "I gave you all my trust because you promised to not break it. We both promised that."
"What happened to staying loyal? What happened to that promise of staying off the market as long as we still own each other? A total Bullshit?"
"What's worse is that I was waiting for you to confess and tell me everything but you did not." Lisa scoffs as she looks away whilst wiping the lone tear away from her cheek.
"You're planning to keep it a secret for as long as you could." she looks back at her. "Right, unnie?"
Jennie clenched her jaws that made Lisa laugh. "God damn you were."
Lisa could not take it anymore and she screamed filled with sorrows, sadness, jealousy and anger mixed all together. Lisa cried, no, she bawled and clutched her hair tightly.
Jennie took the risk and hugs Lisa, she doesn't care if she gets shoved off — she'll take it than not doing anything while Lisa cries in agony which she had caused. Thankfully, Lisa didn't do anything — both of them cried. One in regret while the other one is out of anger.
When Jennie sensed Lisa's calming storm, she slowly leans back and cups both Lisa's cheek. Lisa's a total wreck and it hurts and angers her knowing she'd caused this. "Let..let me fix this. Please. One chance. Please."
Lisa looks at her whilst tearing. "It hurts.."
The younger then continues. "I'm sorry.. I can't."
Jennie felt her knees weaken, her head spins, her chest constricts, her stomach hurt — Lisa is breaking up with her, her worst nightmare is happening and it's her fault.
"P..Please. One chance. Please." Jennie says as her grip on Lisa's cheeks tightens.
Lisa holds the hand that's resting on her cheek and leans onto the touch. "I love you but.."
Jennie doesn't want to hear it so she leans in to claim Lisa's lips for a kiss. She fears the words that would come right after the "but", she's not ready for it. She will never be.
It took Lisa some time to return the kiss, it was slow, gentle and memorable just like their other kisses. Jennie's tears are flowing once again — afraid of everything that's going to happen.
It was Lisa who breaks the kiss and had Jennie's cheeks in her hands. "I'm sorry."
Lisa leans forward to land a kiss on Jennie's forehead which worsen the latter's tears. "I love you but I can't do this anymore. It's going to be an unhealthy relationship if we're going to continue this. We'll hate each other and I don't want that." Lisa says.
"Everyday is going to be a reminder of everything." she says & looks straight in her eyes. "I am sorry I wasn't enough. I am sorry for leaving you most of the time and for not being here when you needed me the most."
Jennie shakes her head. "No.. No.. Please. Lisa." A kiss on her forehead.
Lisa rests her forehead on Jennie's and says. "We both got hurt and needed time to heal."
Jennie could no longer say anything, she's just crying. She immediately gave the youngest the tightest embrace she could ever give because who knows when would be the next time.
It's over.
Lisa lands a kiss on Jennie's forehead as she hugs her just as tight. "I want to hate you but I can't. I want to curse you but I can't. I love you so much but we have to heal. I have to heal. I am so sorry."
It took them minutes before their hug loosen so as their label.
"I am so sorry." Jennie says, currently a mess.
Lisa shakes her head and says. "I can't hate you, you're forgiven. I am sorry I can't grant your wish this time." Lisa gives Jennie another kiss on her forehead before she stands up to get her luggage.
And Lisa left the house with Jennie being drowned with regret and hatred towards herself masked in a form of tears. Trust takes years to build, seconds to break and forever to repair. Breaking it once create constant ripples unless calmed.
True, one deserves a second chance but it will always depend on a situation that the parties are involved in. Jennie and Lisa are both seeking for a happy ending but this time — one has to end it to preserve the happiness they created.
It's over.
— END OF THE TALE —