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It was a lovely day as Frigga lifted the shades in the dining room to allow the sun in and so they could all see the calm waters around the yacht. The boys were still in swim trunks with their shirts, and she was loath to tell them to change. They were dry and it was only lunch, which the family was going to tend themselves. As long as they weren't dripping on the furniture, let them be kids, she thought, shaking her head as Thor elbowed Loki in response to some muttered insult.
"Loki, would you pour water for everyone?" Frigga requested.
Promptly, he acknowledged, "Yes, Mother."
A heartbeat later, realizing what he'd said, he froze, before he whipped around and raced down the passage, slamming out the far hatch.
Tears pricked her eyes. Oh Loki, darling. Of course he would be upset by his unthinking response to a question his own mother must have made of him all his life. But she didn't want him to be alone, and hurried after him.
Frigga found him, curled up on the padded seat of the aft deck. His arms hugged his knees, as he stared out to sea. Without speaking, she settled herself on the seat nearby.
It took a moment to find his voice, when he did it was to speak in a very polite tone, "I'm sorry. I -- I shouldn't have said that. I presumed."
The stiff formality broke her heart. "Oh, sweetie, there's nothing to be sorry for." She laid a hand on his arm. "I don't mind. I’m glad to have another son.”
“It doesn’t make you sad?” he asked. “Or- or angry? That I’m taking his place?” he asked but she heard his real question: would my mother be angry at being replaced?
She had to glance down and gather her thoughts. “Not angry, of course not. You’re not taking Baldr’s place, Loki. His place remains,” she laid a hand on over her heart, “right here. But there’s room for another.” She let that linger a moment. "But I think you are upset for another reason?"
For a little while he didn't answer. He blinked rapidly as his eyes grew wet. "She deserves better," he whispered. "What kind of son am I to forget so quickly?"
"She passed more than a year ago, sweetie.”
He didn't really hear her. "I can't remember her voice anymore." His voice wobbled and his breath was ragged, as his lip trembled. "She was my mother, and I forgot her…"
She stroked his hair gently, coaxing him to lean into her shoulder. "You didn't forget. You honor and remember her. But you also have to keep living, and part of that is looking to the future, not the past. Do what would make her proud, sweetheart. You might lose the pieces, but the important part is you'll never forget the whole, and that's you. She made you, and you carry a piece of her soul, forever. She loved you so very much, Loki."
He gasped out a sobbing breath, sinking down to put his head in her lap. She stroked his hair and rubbed his back, "Just let it out, let it go. It's okay to be sad. And it's okay to miss her."
The deck creaked and she turned her head, seeing Thor peering around the corner with a worried frown. She shook her head once to tell them to leave them be for a little while. He retreated, and she let Loki cry it out, careful to not shush him or tell him to stop.
It didn't take long, maybe less than a minute, while he gasped and shook and she rubbed his back in little circles while his tears dampened her skirt. But he slowed to an irregular panting and faded to a hiccup, while he sniffled.
Stretching she reached the hand towel on the side table and offered it to him. "Here."
"Thanks." He straightened, wiping his eyes and then his nose. "I--" he started.
"I don't want to hear that you're sorry," she intervened gently. "I'm happy to help if I can." She plucked the crumpled towel out of his hand and used a corner to wipe away the tear track from one cheek that he'd missed. "There. I do love you, you know. When I first asked Laufey if you could join us on vacation, it was more for her sake and so you and Thor would be friends, but after these years, I think of you of as part of our family, too. And I'm glad you're with us."
He gave her back a watery smile, blinking a lot that he might cry again. "Thanks. Me, too."
She leaned forward to kiss his forehead. "Take however long you need, until you're ready to join us."
With a final touch to the top of his head, she stood and left him there. He looked drained, but she thought it was a good thing that he'd finally let out all those festering emotions.
When he didn't come to lunch at all, she wandered back, to find he'd fallen asleep on the cushions. She watched him sleep, smiling with affection for a little while. He'd curled up, one hand under his head, black hair in windblown disarray. She should probably encourage him to cut his hair, take a bit more of the maternal role if he was already thinking that way.
It was flattering, and she'd meant it when she'd told him she loved him. She loved Thor, of course, but her darling baby had turned into a sports-fanatic, reckless, spoiled young man that she struggled to understand. Whereas Loki was like her; they could sit on the deck and read for hours and not need anything or anyone else.
Laufey had intended Thor to influence Loki out of his bookishness, but while Thor did pull Loki into more socializing and sports, it didn't work quite as he'd wished, since Frigga had encouraged his pursuit of higher math. He was such a bright boy, he needed the challenge, and if it wasn't quite what Laufey wanted, well, at least Loki wasn't wasting his teen years on drugs and fast cars.
She pulled out her phone and wrote an email to Laufey. “You should know Loki just cried himself to sleep, distraught that he was forgetting her. I reassured him it was normal to let go, but when he’s home you should go to her memorial and get him to talk about her.”
She hoped he would do it, but knowing Laufey tended to close down when talking about his wife she wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t.
Watching Loki sleep, she decided to be as parental to him as he would allow, knowing it was what her friend would want.
She spread a throw blanket over him, and he stirred only enough to clutch a corner in one hand to pull the blanket closer around him. She smiled and tiptoed away.