Work Text:
Dysphoria creeps up on you in the most unexpected ways. For Chara, it’s not obvious moments like taking off your clothes in the bathroom and seeing your body in the mirror. Sure, they don’t like it, but everyone’s bodies are different - who are they to decide if theirs looks “like a girl’s” or not? And if it bothers them that much, a hot shower will take their mind off it.
And it does. Showers help a lot. They close their eyes, drown in the feeling of warm water around them. Of course, the pressure is weak as hell, and the hot water runs out quickly, so the feeling only lasts a little bit.
Chara shivered when they exited the shower and reached for the towel like it was life or death. Looking in the mirror and pretending to be confident for three seconds is easier in the summer. Admiring themself, they see a kid with their back crouched, wrapped loosely in a towel, hair dripping water that’s turning cold already. They wipe themself dry and quickly put on the clothes on the sink counter to savor the warm feeling.
It’s not until they’re brushing their teeth after dinner, when Mom said Remember to floss! from downstairs, and Chara replied with I will! did they notice their voice was so ridiculously high and oh my God, they sound like a girl. Mom knows it, everyone knows it, and no one bothers to tell them because they should know better.
This was not news to Chara. They’d always had a relatively high voice. But … it was never this high.
Hit yourself in the eye, Dreemurr, it’s always been like this.
The words of reason don’t register. Suddenly, it was like they became hyperconscious of their own body. What do you mean? I like my body. But then again, they guess they could afford to lose a few pounds. This is outrageous. There’s a bit too much fat around the chest area.
Before they could stop, they pulled their shirt back to see what it looked like. It revealed a silhouette of a young lady. Fuck. Since when did they have an hourglass figure? They released it immediately, but too late. They already saw it. The whole picture. Big hips, small waist, boobs. It was so- ugh. They didn’t fucking want it. Stupid hourglass figure. Stupid body.
No, Chara thought, this is stupid. They rubbed their eyes and finished brushing their teeth. Tried out a few compliments on themself in the third person.
“Lookin’ fruity today,” they said, and laughed to themself because it sounded like something he would say in an attempt to cheer them up.
Figured they might as well try to be comfortable as a feminine person. “Who’s that over there? Res looks like a Powerpuff Girl.”
And a promise. “Once Chara gets their tits chopped off, vamp is gonna rule the whole goddamn world.”
And they really will, once they get the chance, they really fucking will.