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Gently rocking back and forth with a grip tight against the chains of the swing set sits Kanata, humming an old lullaby himself. The night is young — the sun has finally set, and the full moon rises above the park he currently finds himself in, illuminating the world around him in conjunction with the stars that dot the canvas in the sky.
It isn't the first time he's come to this park. And it's not the first time he's come on the night of a full moon. After all, it's become some sort of a tradition with Chiaki. It all started when Kanata stumbled upon Chiaki, looking up at the stars and the moon alone in this very park, wonder and amazement in his eyes. Ever since that night, the two of them have made an unspoken commitment to come visit the park — and so far, without fail — every rotation, sitting on the same swing set, looking up at the same sky, and being in the same presence with the person that they both feel like they've known their entire life.
The fact that they haven't actually known each other for an extensive amount of time (when considered in the grand scheme of things) is a fact that never fails to baffle Kanata. For a person who has spent so long, years worth of feeling like something was missing, having a single person appear almost out of the blue and fit so perfectly with him, like a puzzle piece falling right into place, has him overthinking an embarrassing amount. If he has any say in the matter, these thoughts and feelings won't ever be admitted outwardly, of course.
Smiling as the galaxy above draws his attention, a warmth so faint creeps onto his cheeks, and he's glad that he's the only one in the park right now. If Kanata had been asked three years ago what some of his favorite sights were, stars and constellations would never have even crossed his mind. After all, the ocean is his home. A child of the sea, never one of the stars.
All it took for his perspective to change, however, was the unpredictable impact of a single red comet. Crashing right into his heart in a way that Kanata wasn't even sure he was capable of being a recipient of. Now, the stars have become like second nature to him. A second home, one that brings him nothing but warmth, comfort, happiness. These are the same feelings he has when he's with Chiaki, or when he thinks about him — the physical embodiment of a shining star who lights up the night sky. And while the stars will never replace the ocean that he has here on Earth, but in their own way, the stars dotting the universe in the sky are no different than an ocean.
A sea of stars.
Like clockwork, the sound of his ringtone slices through the cool silence. Eyes closed as he crosses his legs underneath the seat, Kanata reaches into his pocket and answers the call. There's no need for him to even glance down or wonder who would be calling him at this time of night.
"Chiaki."
Soft. Kanata's voice is soft and melodic. Though other students in their school may have (and quite honestly, probably already do have , for better or for worse) a pre-established notion of what he's like, he's nothing but himself when he's around Chiaki. He's never had a reason to be someone else or to try and hide a part of him. There's no need to when he's around someone who's as bright and as warm as the sun itself. Though a stark contrast to his cool waves, he's never gotten along with anyone as easily or felt like he's so at home unless he's with Chiaki.
"Kanata!"
There it is. The shining tone, voice permanently laced with unadulterated excitement and optimism no matter the situation. A voice that never ceases to bring a smile to his lips, silently thankful that this is just a voice call, and not one where he'd have to be conscious of the expressions that just happen to make their way across his features as Chiaki's voice pours in from the other end.
"Why are you 'calling' me?" Kanata asks, eyes fixated on the lampposts littering the edges of the park. "You know I'll be here."
Chiaki's breath hitches just the slightest through the receiver. A nervous laugh rolls through as he suddenly sounds like he's a little out of breath. Most certainly from running. It couldn't be for any other explanation, Kanata reasons with himself.
Of course not.
"Because I wanted to hear your voice. I haven't heard you all day!"
Chiaki didn't just call for the sake of calling, or to let him know that he was on his way. It wasn't to talk about himself or the kind of day he's had. It was... he... he wanted to hear Kanata's voice.
Chiaki's innocuous line, one that is so in character for the person who has made it his personal mission to ensure everyone around him always feels welcome and comfortable, has no business turning Kanata's stomach into a freaking butterfly pavilion.
It's been months since Kanata recognized that the feelings he has for his friend are more than pure platonic love. And still, instead of just getting over it like he's told himself time and time and time again, it only takes Chiaki to say a single line that's laced with endearment all the way throughout — clearly without knowing the effect that it always has on Kanata's heartstrings — for him to feel like he's drowning. Drowning in a pool of warmth and radiance. Each time he thinks he's able to swim close to the top and surface, he's plunged down over and over until he hits rock bottom by the boy who is the stars.
And the cycle continues — Chiaki says something he can't possibly mean, at least not in that way. And Kanata's trapped below the surface, stuck to deal with all of these feelings by himself. He knows Chiaki would never hurt him, but the pain of ruining what they already have because he can't seem to get a grip on his overflowing emotions is too much to bear.
So, of course, he does the next best thing: keep them trapped in the deep end. Even though he wants more than anything to tell Chiaki how much he wants to hear his voice too, and how it's been the only thing he's been able to think about for days.
"Ah... I 'see.' If that's the case, shouldn't you come to our 'spot'? You can hear me 'there,' too."
"Yeah, yeah, I know," Chiaki replies, breath huffing and puffing. He must have been practicing basketball earlier this evening which would explain why he's so out of breath. "Which is why I'm running! I want to be there so I can see you soon. Plus, I'm almost there."
There he goes. He does it again. Says something that's so innocent on the surface, but it's like waves crashing against a rocky shore in Kanata's heart.
He wants to see Chiaki too.
"How 'far' are you?"
"I'm about to — aha! Give me a second, I'm just turning the last corner..."
And as if on cue, the sound of sneakers hitting the pavement diagonally across the street from where Kanata's perched on the swing is audible. A dashing streak of red, illuminated by the moon, the stars, and the cosmos above, can be seen darting across the street (after checking both ways to make sure there's no oncoming traffic because he's not an animal) and crossing through the iron gate into the park. Smiling, Kanata continues to keep the phone held up to his ear as he watches the scene unfold in front of him. Giving a small wave, he greets Chiaki from his place on the swing and tries to quell his ever-beating heart. There isn't much success to be had, though.
Click. There was no need to be on the phone anymore when Chiaki was within sight.
Though he's out of breath and sweaty from all the intense physical activity that he's clearly been up to for the better part of at least half an hour based on what Kanata knows of Chiaki's Saturday schedule, his vibrant grin never seems to leave his face. Even though there's no way he's not at least a little bit physically exhausted.
"Can I take a seat next to you?"
Just smiling up at Chiaki with closed eyes is enough of an answer for the shorter boy. "You know the 'answer' to that already, don't you, Chiaki?"
"Yup! So don't mind if I do!" And without further ado, the only other swing on the set is colonized by Kanata's unofficial (but, it kind of is official based on the precedent they've established for a minimum of seven months) stargazing partner.
As Chiaki takes a seat and a subsequent minute to catch his breath, Kanata returns to rocking back and forth on the swing seat, the only sound in between huffs, puffs, and what becomes gentle breathing, the squeak of the metal chains. Though, once Chiaki's breathing stabilizes and he's cooled down, the sound of silence overtakes them.
It's comfortable. It's not awkward. Just being in the other's presence is enough for both of them to feel content — and for their thoughts to wander in a direction that's less hey I love being with my best friend, but is rather more of a hey I'm in love with my best friend.
Even though the other doesn't know it.
With a weak cough, Chiaki breaks the silence between them. They've dipped their feet in the water sufficiently; now, it's time to dive right in.
"Chiaki~" Kanata hums out, voice flowing out like a soothing melody.
"Hm?"
"You 'promised' me that you were going to teach me about some constellations tonight. Since I still don't 'know' much about the stars. There isn't anyone better to learn from than the 'expert,' right?"
"Ahah...!" Nervously laughing at being put on the spot like that, Chiaki runs a hand through his hair, tugging on a few clumps along the way to stim, messing up his chocolate locks without conscience. It's not like he's in a position of worry, though. Kanata would never make him feel insecure about his appearance. Which is always reassuring. A silent urge to be nothing but himself.
It's all he's ever honestly desired and Kanata's nothing if not an enabler for his truest self.
"You know I'm not the expert. There's plenty of people who really know all about this stuff like the back of their hand," he begins, and sighs, and continues. "But, nevermind that! There's no time to dwell on any of the negatives. Was there something in specific you wanted to learn about? Or should I just start talking?"
"Hmmm..." Kanata begins, twisting around in his seat and beginning to draw circles in the sand with his shoes. He just wants to hear his voice. He couldn't care less about the substance — well, okay, maybe it's a half-lie. It's just that the actual content isn't what he's concerned about. It's about what Chiaki likes, the way that he thinks, the way that he behaves. The way he sounds. And getting him to talk about his favorite things is the best way to hear all of Chiaki's cute verbal tics, like how he seems to giggle to himself when he's really excited about something, or the way he seems to ramble on and on when he's talking about something he likes because he could go for hours and days on end. An energy Kanata simply can't match, but one that he admires nonetheless.
So, his reply is obvious. To him, at least. Passing up an opportunity to hear Chiaki talk about the things he likes has never even made it to Kanata's to-do list.
"Which one do you 'like' the most?"
Without hesitation, Chiaki answers Kanata with conviction in his unwavering voice.
"That one up there, that's Orion. It's my favorite." Extending an arm upwards, Chiaki points at the brightest star in the sky, lighting up the atmosphere more than any other by an astronomical mile. As he looks up, it's as if his eyes shine as bright as Orion's Rigel itself. Kanata can't help but smile softly to himself as the moonlight above dances across his companion’s cheeks, illuminating Chiaki's freckles as a galaxy of their own.
"Why?"
"What do you mean, why?"
"There's thousands and thousands of 'constellations,' and you can only have one 'favorite.' Why that one?"
Lowering his gaze from the constellations littering the world above, Chiaki's amber eyes meet Kanata's emerald ones. A soft smile frames his features, the warmth of which contrasts nicely with Kanata's cool, inquisitive look.
"I've never really thought about it too much. I'm just... drawn to it. I don't know. It makes me smile. It's the brightest one in the sky. Even if I can't see anything else, I'll always be able to see that one and the moon. Actually, now that I'm explaining it, I think it's because it's reliable. I don't have to make any guesses, because I know that just like the moon, it will always be there for me."
Chiaki letting those words out so casually makes his heart pound. Like, it's actually throbbing. Ringing right in his ears. As if he's on the verge of entering cardiac arrest and needing to be carted away in an ambulance—
Okay, no, it's not that bad. No matter the outcome, it's a lucky roll that his hero is right here by his side. But Kanata can't deny the flips and flops his heart does when he hears Chiaki's voice drip with nothing but pure love when he voices his thoughts about someone always being there for him. Because a selfish part of Kanata wants that yearning to be channeled towards him in some way. Because he wants to be the one that Chiaki recognizes as being always there for him.
And above all, because he hopes that Chiaki realizes he already has someone who will be by his side, forever and for always. The moon and the stars need the tides and the sea. Kanata isn't going anywhere.
"You know, sometimes looking up at the moon on a night like this makes me sad."
"... 'sad'? In what way?"
"I... I don't know how to explain it in words. It's just, seeing the moon above so full and so bright, I feel like I'm missing something — effortlessly, the moon comes out each month and is completely full. And it's like it has its own purpose, to shine bright in the night sky and illuminate the darkness. Which makes me think... I want to save everyone, Kanata." Sighing to himself and looking down from the sky Chiaki fidgets with his fingers in his lap, a feeble attempt to distract himself from his doubts and insecurities. "But I don't know if I can."
The vulnerabilities he doesn't let anyone but Kanata see, because there's no one who makes him feel as comfortable and safe as Kanata. Like a calming wave lapping against the shore, the gentle ebb and flow of the tide knocking on Chiaki's walls until they come down.
"Chiaki, you are a constant reminder of how much 'good' is in this world. I'm still learning what it means to 'live,' but it's all because 'you' showed me how to be alive." Reaching over to the swing next to him, Kanata takes Chiaki's hand in his and interlaces their fingers together. Chiaki's hand trembles ever so slightly. "You saved me."
"K-Kanata..."
Kanata can't put down the specific reason that causes him to have a sudden burst of bravery. That gave him the courage to do what he's thought about every single time he's looked up at the stars above him since Chiaki crash-landed straight into his heart. That gave life to the feelings that emerge each time he thinks about the living galaxy that he now holds in his palm of his hand.
Maybe it's the fact that Chiaki makes him feel like he's at home, safe and protected.
Perhaps it's due to the warmth Chiaki never ceases to radiate, always blanketing Kanata in a cloak of comfort and security.
And in all honesty, it's probably because he's in love with Chiaki.
"There's no 'need' to feel sad. I've 'got' you now, my 'hero.'" Turning to face Chiaki, the swing creaking as he does so, Kanata flashes a soothing smile. "And I'm not 'going' anywhere."
Saying these words straight from the heart, learning from Chiaki how to be true to his emotions — it's something that three years ago he couldn't even fathom, a year ago he'd be scared to death of doing, and now, with Chiaki by his side and with their hands linked together, it's the most natural thing in the world.
"Kanata, I—I don't know what to say. I'm... I'm so happy," Chiaki lets out in a hushed voice, a sound reserved for only the two of them. "Did you know? For the longest time, I used to think to myself, I can’t wait for the day when I’ll finally be able to hold your hand in mine. I'm so in love with you, you know."
Nodding along, Kanata smiles softly to himself. It’s the most natural thing in the world to be here with Chiaki, to share a tender moment under the stars, in a world built for just the two of them with his hand in his and—
Chiaki just confessed his love.
On accident.
It’s the most Chiaki-thing he’s ever witnessed. It’s adorable.
It’s making his heart beat like crazy, for what has to be at least the third time in the past hour.
"..."
"Even though I give everything my all, I still feel like there's a lot of—"
"Chiaki. Stop 'talking.'"
"—what? Did I say something bad that I shouldn't have? Sorry, sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you—"
"Did you 'mean' it?"
"Did I mean what?"
"What you just 'said.'"
"... Kanata, you're going to need to be more specific."
"You're in 'love' with me."
"Haah— what?" Chiaki all but shrieks out, not even caring that he's probably just violated an after-hours noise ordinance in the neighborhood they currently find themselves in. Nervously, he begins to laugh to himself, grip on Kanata's hand tightening. "What makes you think that?"
"You just 'said' it."
Kanata's lost count how many times Chiaki's cut through uncomfortable tension tonight with his nervous laughter. It's no surprise that he resorts to his most basic coping mechanism after his most vulnerable secret has been exposed — at his own (accidental) doing, of course.
"Hah, ah, errm. I guess I did, I just wasn't paying attention since I was just talking. And you know how sometimes I talk about things and I don't really hear myself or stop to—"
"Chiaki."
Here goes nothing. Sucking in a deep breath, Kanata takes a moment to cool his aching nerves, giving Chiaki's hand a tight squeeze in anticipation of what he's going to do. There won't be any going back from here.
And yet, there isn't anything to worry about — Kanata knows this to be true at his core.
It's Chiaki he's talking to. It's Chiaki who's captivated his affection. There's never been anyone else, and there never will be. The kindest, most enthusiastic, and optimistic person Kanata can say that he has the pleasure of knowing. The boy who's made of stars, whose love is in a constant state of overflowing and seeping out into the world beyond.
The star who loves the ocean and the moon, and the ocean who loves the stars and all the cosmos above.
"I 'love' you too," he begins. "You taught me how to 'love' and be 'loved.'"
It's simple. Kanata has no need to deliver an entire monologue to Chiaki. Sincere and direct, with no room for misinterpretation. Simple, but the meaning isn't lost upon either of them.
It's all the two of them can do to look longingly into the other's eyes, not a single word exchanged between the two of them as they share a tender moment, fingers intertwined between them. Connected at their cores.
Softly, ever so softly, both of their lips curl up into a smile. And though Kanata can feel his heart pounding against his chest, he doesn't feel anxious, stressed, or scared. He's safe here with Chiaki by his side and his hand in his. They're together. Now and forever. A connection unwritten on this Earth, but destined in the stars.
"Please be gentle with my heart." Chiaki's voice is as feather-light as the way his thumb rolls along the edge of Kanata's palm, rubbing soothing, comforting circles into his skin. And for someone with a reputation of being too loud, too much, the only thing he is right now is enough.
Besides, Chiaki doesn't have to ask. It's an unspoken vow between just the two of them, a contract written into the stars from the first time they met by the pool all those years ago. He knows he doesn't have to, because he trusts Kanata with his whole life and more. But there's a part of him that will never stop being insecure, a part that will always need to hear words of validation and affirmation even when he knows Kanata will never do anything to tear him apart.
He's soft. Kanata has been there from the beginning, and he'll be there until the end of time. As if it were written in the stars, they're soulmates in a world where none exist. Transcendent, radiant. Kanata and Chiaki. Chiaki and Kanata.
They were made for each other. The stars and the sea, reflections that have always run parallel, to one another, but a single stroke of fate changed their course and brought them together.
Tone soft, like waves lapping against the shore in the dead of night as heavenly stars shine down from above, Kanata promises Chiaki the world. "I will."