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Months passed and emotions settled. Skin stitched back together and a pair of crutches no longer used. Chinese New Year spent with family for the first time in years and a ring sitting on his fourth finger.
But Fei Du's ankle never returned as strong as before. Sometimes it still throbs and there's a popping sound whenever he rotates too far. On worse days, it feels like the wound is fresh, and he can almost hear the banging sound of the gunshot and the bullet ripping through flesh. He wakes up in bed writhing in pain and dripping in sweat. He knows the pain isn't real, he's read about it in his textbooks. On those nights, he likes to fall asleep with Luo Wenzhou's arms wrapped around him like they're physically grounding him to reality.
"You didn't have to come pick me up," Luo Wenzhou says, walking out of the office one day with Fei Du.
"I know, I wanted to," Fei Du replies cheerfully. He is walking towards the car when his ankle unexpectedly caves and he stumbles forward. Luo Wenzhou's arm quickly reaches out to support him.
Luo Wenzhou gives him a worried look. "You okay?"
Fei Du straightens. "Yeah, no problem." He takes another step but his ankle flares into pain again. His knee buckles and Luo Wenzhou immediately moves to catch him. He fails to hide the wince that flashes across his features.
Luo Wenzhou rolls his eyes but they're etched with concern. "Why is it that when your ankle isn't hurting you ask me to carry you, but when your ankle is actually hurting you don't? You're so smart, tell me, does that make sense to you, President Fei?"
"Reverse psychology?" Fei Du offers.
Luo Wenzhou bends over and lifts Fei Du onto his back. The guards pretend not to see one of their officers piggy backing a grown man out of the building. "We both know that's not how it works."
Fei Du lifts an eyebrow. "Oh, are you getting a degree in psychology too?"
Luo Wenzhou huffs in amusement and helps him into the car. "Is it very bad?"
Fei Du shakes his head. "It's still okay."
Luo Wenzhou frowns as he starts to drive. "You have to tell me these things."
"I know," Fei Du says, "I am telling you right now."
Luo Wenzhou sighs in exasperation. "Be honest, did the pain just come or was it already hurting in the morning?"
"It was close to nothing in the morning-"
"And yet you still went to work!" Luo Wenzhou's jaw drops in disbelief. "You're actually going to drive me insane one of these days!"
Fei Du's voice turns into a low purr. "I plan to do exactly that."
Luo Wenzhou remains unfazed. "Don't give me that, you're on punishment."
"And how will you punish me?"
Luo Wenzhou huffs. "I'm mad, don't joke with me."
Fei Du reaches over and rests a hand on Luo Wenzhou's thigh. "Don't be mad, I was wrong."
Luo Wenzhou scoffs. "At least you know you're wrong!"
"I'm already in pain, how could you be mad at an injured person?" Fei Du adds a pitiful tone to his voice. "Captain Luo, have you no heart?"
"I have a heart," Luo Wenzhou snaps, "and all of it has gone to someone stupid who won't tell me important things!"
Fei Du breaks into a smile. " Next time if I have even the slightest bit of pain, the first thing I'll do is tell you. Satisfied?"
That night, Fei Du dreams of pungent blood, and his father. There's someone vaguely calling his name but his ears feel like they're underwater. His limbs are heavy as lead but there's a neck around his fingers and he bolts upright gasping for air. He breaks into a fit of coughs and a glass of water materializes by his side. He gulps at it greedily like he's trying to wash the taste of blood out of his mouth.
"Drink slowly," someone tells him softly. He finally registers that he's laying against someone, and that this is the bed he shares with Luo Wenzhou. He's at home, it was a nightmare, and he hasn't just puked his guts out.
Fei Du catches his breath. "Did I wake you up?" he asks even though he knows the answer. His voice is hoarse, he briefly wonders if he had been shouting.
"Not important," Luo Wenzhou answers. "Are you okay?"
Fei Du nods his head. "Only the usual."
"Is your ankle still hurting?"
Fei Du swallows. A pause. "Yeah."
"I don't think it's time for another painkiller yet," Luo Wenzhou trails off apologetically.
Fei Du sniffles. "It's okay," he mumbles. Snaking his arms around Luo Wenzhou, he pulls himself closer to him.
"Tired?" Luo Wenzhou asks.
Fei Du hums in response.
"What can I do?"
Fei Du presses his face into Luo Wenzhou's skin. "Just stay here."
Luo Wenzhou strokes Fei Du's head rhythmically, brushing his fingers through his hair.
"I'm not sure if I can fall asleep again," Fei Du says softly after a while.
"We can just lie here, or we can go out if you want?" Luo Wenzhou suggests.
"I'm lazy," Fei Du mumbles.
Luo Wenzhou chuckles lightly. Then, he scoops Fei Du up into his arms and carries him to the living room, placing him gently on the couch. "I'll heat up some milk for you."
"Make it sweet."
"No."
Luo Wenzhou hands the cup to Fei Du. As Fei Du sips, he looks over the rim of the cup at his husband, and smiles. He puts his cup down and snuggles up to Luo Wenzhou.
Luo Wenzhou raises his eyebrows. "You need something?"
"Comfortable," Fei Du whispers.
Luo Wenzhou smiles and wraps an arm around Fei Du. They lie there in silence, the room only illuminated by the moonlight.
Fei Du's eyelids gradually grow heavy. "Do you really want me to tell you whenever I'm in pain?" he mumbles.
Luo Wenzhou looks at him. "Of course. Why would I joke?"
"What if you were at work?" Fei Du asks.
"Then call me."
"What if it was a paper cut?"
Luo Wenzhou snorts. "If it's a paper cut, call Tao Ran."
Fei Du lets out a small laugh. "Got it."
He falls asleep at home in Luo Wenzhou's embrace like he always does after a bad day, to the thought that even if he had to deal with the pain and nightmares for the rest of his life, it wouldn't be too bad. Because he was no longer alone.