Archive of Our Own

Kei and Tadashi had always been a little late when it came to talking about things that both of them were thinking about.

Usually, it was either Tadashi’s nervousness and anxiety, or Kei’s incapability of finding the right words or the courage. It oftentimes caused the words that were sitting right at the tip of their tongues to be pushed aside and both of them liked to argue with themselves that the other knew already.

After all, they were quite good at reading one another, so it was blatantly obvious that they were both widely aware.

So why still talk about it? It wouldn’t matter, would it?

However, it usually very much did matter.

It was almost ridiculous how long it had taken for Tadashi to find the right moment and the proper state of mind to ask Kei if it was okay for him to refer to the other by his first name.
That ridiculous amount of time being the last days of middle school.

It didn’t surprise him that Kei did agree, it didn't even surprise him that he requested it to stay for when they were just with one another and yet it had still taken Tadashi a lot of convincing himself to finally ask.

Kei couldn’t even blame him though. After all, he had been in the same spot before.
He still vividly remembered that it had taken him multiple months after Tadashi’s first anxiety attack to ask him whether he needed to talk about it. If he needed assistance in finding someone to help him.

Despite what everyone might think of them, once they were  alone they could be quite physical. Their language with one another was quite often more actions and touches than words, so it truly didn’t even seem all too odd to either of them that they were quite bad at talking about serious topics with one another. It never was that they didn’t want to. They simply didn’t know how and where to begin; and even now as they were nearing the end of their first year of high school - after years and years of knowing one another, being best friends - even now, they had yet to address their soulmate marks.

The beautiful almost mole-like depiction of the night sky, dots that almost blended in with Tadashi’s freckles, yet were much more vivid and visible on Kei’s pale skin. They were accompanied by thin lines connecting them like constellations all-around a larger crescent-shaped moon in the middle. For both of them, the design sat on their lower back in the exact same spot, fate binding them together and deciding they were destined for each other.

It was so painfully obvious to both of them, ever had been since they were young.
Yet, it was like an unspoken agreement, that they would simply not address it. Each of them knew the other couldn’t and so far they had been quite content by simply not talking about it.

However, with the current development of much more people, different people, in their lives, it wasn’t a surprise that quite quickly someone else had picked up on their marks.

And, much to Kei’s everlasting suffering, it just had to be Kuroo and Bokuto. To an extent at least.

It happened during one night of training camp in which the Captain of Nekoma had leaned against one of the poles of the net, smirking widely as he eyes Kei up and down, earning a displeased frown from him.

However, before he could complain about it; his mouth already open to give the other some sass, Kuroo said something neither he nor Tadashi ever had the courage to deal with.

“So freckles.”, he starts, a small teasing sing in his voice as his smile grew even wider, a sparkle in his eyes. “He’s your soulmate, mh?”

At that very moment, Kei had almost expected everything but that. Freezing in place for a second before exhaling a breath he had held, closing his eyes for a moment. However, he still didn’t get the chance to answer.

Before he could speak, Bokuto gasped loudly, having fetched one of their astray balls. He was at Kuroo’s side within a split second, eyes even bigger and wider than normal and causing Kei to take a defensive step backward. This truly was the last thing he needed.

“What? You already know your soulmate?”, Bokuto asks, looking as if he was ready to jump up and down in excitement. “That’s so cool! Didn’t he say he has known Tsukishima forever?”

At that, Kuroo nods and Kei wonders whenever he had even given him the chance to talk to Tadashi. He certainly would prefer if that never happened before.

“That’s so -! I’ve only known Akaashi for a few years now but it must be great to have known him for years, yes? I can’t imagine how it must be to have started dating, when like super young and-”

“We aren’t dating.”

The moment the words had left Kei’s mouth, he mentally cursed himself. If the way the faces of the other two changed - Kuroo’s eyebrows raising in interest and Bokuto’s smile falling - was anything to go by, they were going to cause him more than a small headache now.

“What do you mean you’re not- but he’s your Soulmate !”, Bokuto argues, dropping the ball in favor of throwing up his arms as if to accentuate his point. “You should go on romantic dates and- and kiss and be happy that you are going to marry and maybe adopt like a kid or three and-”

Kei groaned then, rubbing his temples and even Kuroo had to snicker at the other Captain’s description. He holds a hand in front of his mouth then, whispering to Bokuto as if Kei wasn’t right there next to them.

“Bro, I don’t think your experiences and daydreams don’t quite apply to Mister emotionally constipated over here.”, he gave a short nod in the direction of the blonde, causing Kei to cross his arms now, giving him a glare that he prayed was threatening enough to distract from the fact that his cheeks were slowly turning redder.

Sadly, he was almost convinced that it wasn’t.

“Then again…”, Kuroo hums, placing his hands on his hips now and stepping much closer than needed. “I’d be quite interested as well. So care to enlighten us why you aren’t together even though you spend almost every waking hour practically glued to one another-”

“That’s none of your business.”, Kei snaps then and Kuroo is the one to cross his arms now, mocking his defensive posture. Yet, the older ones smile never disappeared, which most certainly wasn’t a good sign and a quite obvious indicator that this conversation wasn’t over.

Kei wished he had never agreed to train with these two now. He could simply sit next to Tadashi and listen to music while the other was tapping away on whatever App was occupying his attention this week right now.

Bokuto’s mouth forms a small ‘o’ at his words and he shakes his head.

“We just want to help though! You- you can’t just not be together.”, he tries and earns another nod from Kuroo then, Nekomas Captain agreeing with him.

“I think Bokuto is right, don’t you? “, he asks with no intention of actually letting Kei answer. “Do you need help?  Or- Or did he tell you off? Do you want us to talk some sense into him-?”

“God no don’t you dare- We just- we just never talked about it, okay-”, Kei tries to shut him down, groaning afterward and rubbing his face, trying to turn away ever so slightly to hide his red cheeks. “Why am I even telling you that-”

“Because we are your friends!”, Bokuto announces, Kuroo snorting in response, adding a small ‘ Hell yeah, we are ’ under his breath.

Kei wanted to die right now this very second. “No, we are certainly not.”

“Oh we are and we are going to help you out with this. You must be lying awake at night dreaming of what could be?”, Kuroo says, dramatically placing his hand on his cheek like a pining woman in a stage play. “Wondering how it is to kiss him and hug him and-”

“I said- Kuroo-”

Kei’s weak protest only earns him a wide smirk from the both of them now.
However, Bokuto does push the other Captain aside,  determination glowing in his eyes as he stands as tall as can be.

“I think you should talk about it if you haven’t yet!” He tries and much to Kei’s surprise his voice was much more gentle and encouraging than he had expected Bokuto to be capable of. “I mean- You do want to be together with him, yes? That’s- that’s what you’re supposed to do and isn’t it amazing that fate has decided to match you up with your best friend? That’s like- the coolest-”

He takes a deep breath, not hesitating to put one of his hands on Kei’s shoulder now, giving it a squeeze.

“For all you know, he has been waiting for it for years! “, Kuroo mumbles, rubbing his chin a bit before shrugging. His smirk now holds much less malice than just a moment ago. “I mean you have, yes? It’s not like it’s subtle the way you look at him. I might add, he does look the same way at you when you’re playing-”

“Shouldn’t you be concentrating on the game instead of that?”, Kei says, much less bite in his voice now and much less tension in his muscles as he relaxes a bit.

In all honesty, he had never really picked up on whether Tadashi was looking at him a certain way and he couldn’t imagine the other would be good at hiding any longing glances.
Then again, he did sometimes catch him looking at him instead of the Laptop screen when they were watching movies, and Tadashi was known to look at his face quite a bit when they talked- 

Up till now, Kei had simply thought that was just how it was, that the other couldn’t be thinking about leaning up to kiss him as Kei did so often. After all, it had always been this way. 

Though, the longer he thought about it, the more he wondered if maybe Tadashi had realized much earlier than Kei that they were soulmates- What if he had known for months before Kei? Years? Shortly after they met?

“I think he’s realizing things, Bokuto.”

Kuroo’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts and he realizes that he must have been quiet for more than just a few seconds if the smiles of the other two were anything to go by.

“Good!”, Bokuto says, sounding almost proud as he looks at Kei’s wide-eyed stare and red cheeks. “They should talk about it. I mean nothing can go wrong -”

He hated it. Hated how right Bokuto and Kuroo were and somehow hearing them talk about it oh so nonchalantly drove down the point of how ridiculous it was what Kei and Tadashi were avoiding.

They were soulmates. They spent almost all their time together. They spend almost every weekend together. They sat close and touched and cuddled and yet they never stepped over that last line.

God, all of this made Kei feel incredibly stupid now.

Nothing can go wrong.  

When he takes his next breath, it almost feels like he had been drowning before.
Somehow, it was embarrassing that it had taken Kuroo and Bokuto out of all people to mention the obvious to finally push him over the edge; and there was no certainty that he’d actually be able to make it to Tadashi and actually talk about it the moment he looked into the others beautiful face.
However, he certainly wasn’t going to stay here and let these two tease him. There was a sudden need sparked in his chest to talk to Tadashi. It was almost an unfamiliar need, something itching to take a step further.

Even if they never were good at talking about the obvious, Kei was certainly willing to try.
In the end, if they didn’t talk about it now would they ever or would they simply ignore it till they were old, never truly experiencing what they should have for years now?

“I need to go”, Kei says quickly  and turns on his heels to hurry out of the gym, much to Bokuto’s displeasure,who mumbles about how he should at least help them tidy up.
All he earns is a friendly punch to his side from Kuroo.

Once outside the gym, Kei takes a deep breath.
The air was still quite warm, though, that wasn’t a surprise considering the time of the year. There was a small breeze and the lanterns were already on, even if the sun hadn’t quite set yet.

Kei had a rather good idea of where Tadashi might be, the other liking to wait outside of the building they slept in until he was done. Normally he was either on his phone or Hinata kept him company and he truly hoped that the latter wasn’t the case today.

His prayers seem to be answered as he rounds a corner and sees Tadashi quickly exchanging a few last words with the ginger before he leaves to go back inside. Once alone, Tadashi sits back down on the bench close to the door, stretching quite long as he yawns.

“Yamaguchi.”, Kei calls, the other jumping a bit in surprise and sitting a more proper, obviously a little confused. Yet, his face breaks out into a large smile as he jumps back up, quickly crossing the distance between them.

Kei had to remind himself then that he came here with determination. Determination, that already began to falter  as he watches Tadashi approach.

No. He had to do this. Nothing could go wrong. He just had to finally say it; address it and put it out there so it would become real. Real for both of them.

“Tsukki! Back already? “, Tadashi asks , head tilting ever so slightly as he takes in Kei. “I thought you wouldn’t return that soon.”

“That disappointed? I can leave again then-”, Kei almost wanted to curse himself for his snarky comment. Especially once he realizes whatever the other  had wanted to say was replaced with a nervous apology now.

“No! I’m sorry- I was just excited, I guess?”, he says, his nicely tanned cheeks now a shade darker and Kei wishes to reach out to touch them now more than ever before. “I just didn’t expect you back this early is all.”

“We finished up sooner. Couldn’t stand those two idiots any longer.”, Kei mumbles in response and shrugs, the both of them sitting down next to one another now. Their thighs were touching and he could feel how nice and warm Tadashi must be even through his sweatpants.

Almost as if trained, they both fall into a silence then, each of them looking up at the pinkish sky, how the moon was already visible even now and how in less than an hour the stars would start to show themselves alongside the last rays of sunshine of the day.

This was always how it was and maybe this is why they never talked about anything. Maybe alongside the anxiety and the inability to find words or the right moment, it was also that they simply had a pattern with one another.
A pattern Kei loved and appreciated, but one that needed to be broken up now and then.

“Yamagu- Tadashi?”

The sudden use of his first name made the other visibly freeze before he looked up at him. Kei could almost see his mind work through all the possibilities of what this could mean; whether he had done something wrong or maybe simply what it could be they were going to talk about - which of the blatantly obvious things he might have missed or that was finally being mentioned.

“We’re soulmates.”, Kei  continues, voice quiet and shaking ever so slightly as he looks at Tadashi properly now. He had barely heard his own voice over his beating heart and somehow his chest felt heavy as he took the first step into something neither of them had dared to touch.

There was a long moment of silence, so long that Kei suddenly wasn’t sure if the other would ever answer or if he would choose to pretend neither of them knew again.

However, after a while Tadashi does speak up, even if it is small and sounds almost ashamed.

“I-I know.”, he mumbles, tearing his eyes away now in favor of looking at his hands in his lap, playing with the silicone case on his phone. Slowly, as if only for himself, he repeats. “I know.”

“Good. That’s- That’s good.”, Kei answers and he wants to reach out to touch Tadashi's hand, but doesn’t dare quite yet. He would though; he promised that to himself. 

Much to his own displeasure though, he hadn’t necessarily thought much further than this.
He assumed that this was part of their issue as well. Neither of them was good at seeing more than the initial bringing up of the problem and now that they had, they didn’t know how to continue.

To his surprise though, it’s Tadashi who speaks again first and Kei could see his hands shake, not being able to hold still.

“D-does this mean-Tsukki does this mean we can-”

“Kiss now?”, Kei interrupts his friend, even if he didn’t necessarily mean to.

He knew Tadashi though; knew him well enough to know what he was about to ask. He had always known when those exact words were the one stuck on the tip of his tongue, never spoken. “Yes. Yes I- I think it's what it means.”

He earns a soft nod in response and he can hear the hard swallowing that follows it.

Another moment of silence and more erratic beats of his heart. His hands were a bit clammy by now and he feels silly for thinking that bringing the topic up had been the hardest part when the tension between them now seemed so much bigger.
They couldn't turn back now, however.

“I was always glad it was you.”, Kei whispers and his fingers are twitching a bit. With hesitation he does move them over, reaching for Tadashi’s now. They had held hands before, so why was this so nerve wrecking now? Simply because it seemed to hold so much more meaning? Had a simple sentence changed so much?

His gaze shifts to Tadashi again and he catches him once more looking up at him with the same awe in his eyes he had always held.
It’s this look alone that makes his heart soar and what Bokuto said had become quite real now. Nothing was going to be wrong. There never was the slightest chance it could.

“Tadashi.”, he says once more, shifting ever so slightly . “I think- I think we should kiss.”