Work Text:
Text messages between Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes
Sam
Today 11:17 PM
Bucky: this movie is terrible
Bucky: it's getting everything wrong
Sam: not sure which movie you're talking about
Bucky: the hobbit
Sam: I thought we were going to watch it together
Sam: that's cold
Bucky: oh
Bucky: well, I know you said that, but I assumed you were just trying to be nice and didn't actually want to
Sam: I was not being nice
Sam: I try not to be nice to you, I'm always afraid you'll short circuit
Bucky: I'm not a cyborg
Sam: okay, bionic man
Sam: what's the movie getting wrong?
Bucky: you just sound like you're just humoring me
Sam: that's because I am
Sam: look at it like a sign of affection
Sam: I wouldn't humor just anyone, you're special
Bucky: I hate you
Today 11:31 PM
Bucky: I turned it off
Bucky: if you're going to be obnoxious you have to sit through my commentary
Sam: great
Sam: listening to you curse about how a movie isn't close enough to a book you read before my parents were born
Sam: sounds like the perfect saturday evening
Bucky: you're the one who just said you wanted to watch it with me
Sam: them
Bucky: what??
Sam: them
Sam: there are three
Bucky: yeah, I know there are movies for the sequels
Bucky: I don't know if I care enough to watch them
Sam: no, they split the hobbit up into three movies
Bucky: are you fucking kidding me?
Sam: no
Bucky: WHY.
Sam: I don't know, but I think the extended edition of them all is 9 hours long
Bucky: I hate this century
Sam: okay boomer
Sam: wait, actually, what are you? I know you're not a boomer, you just sounded like one
Bucky: I think it's called the greatest generation
Sam: are you fucking kidding me
Bucky: I didn't name it
Bucky: I was just born in it
Bucky: yeah, it's a little self-congratulatory
Sam: you think?
Sam: can't believe the guy I spend all my time with is from "the greatest generation"
Sam: what bullshit
Bucky: steve was too
Bucky: seems like an ongoing problem for you, maybe you should make friends your own age
Sam: I don't know, I've gotten used to you
Sam: seems like a lot of work to find a new sidekick, and they probably wouldn't have a vibranium arm
Bucky: yeah, if you want the vibranium arm, you have to put up with me
Sam: I was afraid of that
Sam: oh well, I guess I can't find a new sidekick
Bucky: do you really have to call me that?
Sam: yes
Sam: I know what expression you get on your face whenever I do, and it's great
Bucky: I hate you
Sam: aw, you're my friend too, buck
Bucky: not the words I said
Sam: but they are the words you meant
Bucky: shut up
Sam: okay, cyborg sidekick
Bucky: sam, you are literally the most obnoxious person in the universe
Sam: love you too
Bucky: oh, shut up
Bucky: I'm going to turn my movie back on
Sam: yeah, that'll show me
Sam: leave it until tomorrow, should be finished up here by then and I can just head to you rather than go home
Sam: you'll have nine hours to torture me with irritated commentary
Sam: reread the hobbit tonight so you can be thorough
Bucky: I reread it last week
Sam: of course you did
Bucky: fine
Bucky: I'll wait
Bucky: but I hate you
Sam: "greatest generation" my ass, didn't even have dictionaries
Bucky: I'll see you tomorrow
Sam: night, sidekick
Bucky: you're the worst