Work Text:
Eyes of emerald green watched as the curious tide lapped at his shoes, creeping ever closer the longer he stood in place. His shaky breath formed a smoky cloud before him, yet he felt like his skin was on fire.
The saccharine caress from the ocean breeze only served to make him burn impossibly hotter, causing the molten lines on his cheeks to drip faster. The wind whispered His name in its biting song; Megumi curled in on himself tighter.
His fingers dug into the fabric he was already clutching with desperation, reminding himself of the boy he half-expected to see here; as if he could forget in this lifetime or the next.
Though, he wondered if he truly wanted that. If he wanted to be reminded of the dark circles under eyes that once held pure sunshine, or of sunken in cheeks and an ever-weakening smile. No, it was better to remember Him as he was, even if more than anything in the world he wanted to be told ‘it’s okay’, once more.
Megumi faintly wondered how many times that was promised to him when he knew otherwise. How many times had Yuuji Itadori asked him not to cry?
He finally managed to pull one hand away from the sweater in his hands, reaching up tentatively and brushing fingertips over his cheek. The tears clung to his skin and burned with a longing so intense it reached the very marrow in his bones.
The second he brought his hand in front of his face as if to confirm what he already felt, his eyes began to sting all over again.
A sob suddenly tore through his chest and a hand flew to his mouth to stop it. Megumi shut his eyes tightly as if trying to hide, dropping to his knees and clutching yellow fabric close to his body.
The seafoam did its very best to comfort him, but it could do nothing more than chill his body further.
It wasn’t fair, but what did he know about fairness? Part of his unfair kindness had saved the boy he fell in love with, but that same part brought the scorching agony that had long since settled in his heart. Guilt squeezed his lungs, sorrow wrapped lovingly around his throat. It was too much.
Megumi let himself cry when the pressure was far, far too much to suppress any further. Broken sobs racked his body as hot tears were soaked up by Yuuji’s golden hoodie. Megumi couldn’t help the fragmented laugh that warped his cries.
Even in death, He was there to soothe his greatest pains.
The young sorcerer lifted his head, still shaking as he looked out on the horizon with puffy eyes. He parted his lips to suck in a trembling gulp of air, clenching his jaw as he felt words resting on the tip of his tongue.
Megumi gasped, a deafening whisper that was swallowed by the mournful tide and far-off thunder,
I miss you.
And he would continue to miss Him, just as he had even before today. He knew. He fucking knew that Yuuji was gone long before his execution. That vile thing inside of him had made sure of that, and Megumi was helpless to do anything but watch in their last handful of months together.
It would show in everything He did. That sunshine boy gave everything he had despite a fate set in stone, and Megumi knew he could never be that brave. Nor did he want to.
All he wanted was to feel His heartbeat while laying on his chest again, but he knew better than to let his grief fester.
A few raindrops began to tap him on the back and he tilted his head back, letting out a sharp scoff. He couldn’t even freely grieve as a sorcerer; Yuuji deserved to rest. He had more than earned it, despite how he deserved so much more.
A boy who wished to give everyone a ‘proper death’, and yet his youth was robbed from him without mercy.
Megumi looked down at the tear-stained hoodie, brushing his thumb along the hood. He brought it to his nose, still able to faintly detect the scent of His shampoo. His heart broke a little more, knowing that eventually this smell would fade, along with the sunlight Yuuji had brought into his life.
He wasn’t ready to give up that light yet, but he would have to. He couldn’t let that light touch the shadows he had been shrouded in all his life.
Megumi stood, ignoring the way his soaked pant legs stuck to him. He could still hear His beautiful laugh, see His smiling face--both full of an overwhelming vitality--if he tried hard enough.
He sniffled, wiping away any stray tears before finally willing himself to turn away from the water. He wanted to be there to watch over Him, even if he knew Nobara and Gojo would tear the heads off of anyone who neared His body with anything less than their utmost respect.
Megumi turned his exhausted gaze to the hoodie in his hands once more. Screw it.
He tugged his own jacket off as he began to walk along the familiar shore, mindlessly leaving it behind to have Yuuji’s arms around him instead.
Just this once, he would be greedier.
He would fight to keep what remained of that sunlight in his life, even when the sun could no longer shine through the darkness all around.