Chapter Text
1
He hadn’t meant to lie to his dad.
Well, he had. But not like that.
He called what, every week or so? Just to make sure that Noct was okay, but Noct was always okay. It was his dad who was… more worrisome.
And Noct felt a pang of regret that he wasn’t the one to call his dad instead of vice-versa.
But he didn’t exactly look forward to his phone calls with his dad, which probably was the biggest part of him not actually taking the initiative to call.
And on this particular call, he knew that he probably should not have fabricated an all-out lie.
But he had anyway.
Noct: i fucked up prom
Prompto: ??
Noct: yea
Noct: i told my dad i was dating someone
Prompto: ur single tho
Noct: i kno
Prompto: single af
Noct: i kno, thank u promto
Prompto: why tho
Noct: hes worried about me
Noct: thinks im lonely
Prompto: arent u?
Noct: …
Noct: i don’t want to worry the old man tho
Prompto: just say u broke up w them then
Prompto: in a day or 2
Noct: i said it was luna
Prompto: u fucked up bud
Noct: yea
Noct: i did
He laid back on his bed and stared up at the popcorn ceiling. It reminded him of his childhood bedroom at home—he had put on that ceiling a bunch of glow-in-the-dark stars, which he had stared up at for a very long time when he was trying to get to sleep in his old twin bed. And the little ridges of the popcorn ceiling weren’t exactly stars, but they gave the impression enough that he could see them if he unfocused his eyes and imagined for a moment.
He sighed. He picked up his phone from where he’d let it fall next to him on the bed and scrolled through the contacts. Finding Luna’s name, he swiped open their last text conversation.
It was dated for about two months prior, when they’d sent back and forth some cute dog pictures, culminating with a particularly fluffy set of dogs, with a sparkling heart emoji serving as the caption. Noct recognized them; he’d spent a lot of time when he was younger playing with those dogs, when his parents and Luna’s parents would hang out, and the two of them were left to their own devices to entertain one another while the adults chatted.
They were just puppies then, but even with a bit of graying around their muzzles, their cuteness was still completely intact now. She had followed it up saying that she was going to be living in an apartment quite close to campus that semester, and that they should meet up some time to hang out. He’d responded that yeah, they should.
That was the last line of communication between the two of them at all since then. The fall semester had started, and Noct just hadn’t reached out. Though, of course, neither had she. So he figured it wasn’t completely his fault.
His thumbs hovered over the keyboard on his phone for a moment before he just dropped the phone to his side in frustration. There was no way that he could really explain the predicament. How could he say that when he was pressed to say that he was in a relationship with someone, he had come up with her name as the first person he knew his dad knew and wouldn’t question him about it, just so that he could get off of the phone faster? It wasn’t exactly flattering to her, and it didn’t paint the picture of his decision-making as anything good, either.
And what did he expect from her, anyway? She didn’t owe him anything. She was just a family friend, and she didn’t need to do anything more than just be that. Because she wasn’t anything more than that to him, despite what he had just foolishly told his father.
His phone buzzed, and he half expected it to be Luna, reaching out, just because he had been thinking of her. Instead, it was from Ignis.
Ignis: I don’t suppose I should take offense that you started dating someone—a Fleuret, no less—and thought you should not need to tell me
Noct: its
Noct: new
Noct: sorry, iggy
He let out a frustrated groan. How did Ignis find out? It must have been his father, because Prompto wouldn’t have spread a rumor that Noct was actively trying to un-say. He never thought of his father as the town gossip, but apparently that was going to be the way this all played out. And he had hoped that he might be able to convince his father that he misheard him. That maybe he just meant that he had been spending time with Luna, on different dates. Times. Days.
But that clearly wasn’t an option.
He picked up his phone quickly, and held it far enough away that he could see it just enough through his semi-squinted eyes. He unfocused his eyes a little bit more so that he didn’t really need to see what he was doing. He could barely believe that he was actually reaching out. It was embarrassing, having to even talk to Luna about this all. He liked her, sure, but he could only hope that she liked him enough to do him one hell of a solid.
Noct: can u meet me for coffee 2mro at like 2? i have a big ask
Noct: just an invite to my dads bday
Noct: so
Luna: sure! the campus cafe?
Noct: yea
Luna: I look forward to it. see you there!
“Fuck,” said Noct, and looked across to the digital alarm clock sitting on his bedside table. It was two in the afternoon today. Which meant he had a whole day to dread having to ask Luna… whatever it was he was going to ask Luna.
He groaned and rolled over. That was tomorrow. He could nap in the meantime.
2
She was there early, waiting for him, in a light-orange sundress and holding a large coffee. She waved him over when she saw him.
“Noctis! It’s been too long.”
“Oh, yeah, hi, Luna,” said Noct, unsure of whether he was supposed to hug her or not. She didn’t make any indication either way. He just sort of nodded to her and gestured to the chair. She took her spot again. “I’m going to grab a drink, and I’ll be right over,” he said.
“Have you moved onto coffee yet?” she asked. “I remember when we first started up here, your father tried to get us some coffee at breakfast, and you just got extra chocolate for your pancakes instead.”
“I—” he said, but stopped. He did used to hate coffee, but that was just when he was a freshman. He’d grown up a bit since then. Mostly, he had realized that he got tired when studying a lot, and got over himself enough to get into coffee. He did still like a mocha swirl, though, and plenty of sugar. “I figured the whole ‘coffee’ thing out, yeah,” he said with a slight smile, and moved to get into line.
The whole process of standing in line made him feel even more nervous. He still wasn’t sure exactly what he was going to say to Luna, and he could feel the sweat on the palms of his hands reaching a certain uncomfortable nervous clamminess.
He could feel his heart beat faster as he took the small coffee from the barista and made his way toward her, but was pretty sure that his nervousness didn’t show outwardly. Or, at least, he hoped it didn’t.
“So, Noctis,” said Luna, leaning in toward him a bit as he joined her at the table. He caught a whiff of her perfume, something like a flower that he couldn’t quite place, but only noticeable when she was close. “What’s all this about a birthday?”
“Oh, it’s my dad’s birthday, coming up soon.” He looked away, and he grabbed ahold of the sugar on the table, uncapping his coffee and beginning to stir in the sugar with a wooden stirrer. “He’s turning 60, the old man.” He shook his head. “And he asked me the other day if I wanted to bring anyone back with me from college.”
“And you’re hoping I would go with you?”
“I mean,” said Noct, pouring one last bit of sugar in before continuing to stir his coffee, “you’re close enough that I figured you would like the option to go.”
She raised an eyebrow and took a sip of her own drink. “You’re giving off a weird vibe, though,” she said. “What else is there to this?”
“I just figured you would have a good time.”
He hid his face in his coffee, burning his tongue as he took a sip of it while it was still far too hot.
“And…?”
“And…” Noct sighed. He could feel her eyes on his, and knew just how tenacious she could be. When they were younger, she had proven this when she had run games, or given out the rules for a board game, or had taken control of group family outings even from a young age. She was going to find what she wanted to find whether Noct wanted her to or not.
“I just told my dad that the two of us are dating,” he said. “And I know it sounds ridiculous, especially since we don’t even talk that much, but I need you to hear me out.” She raised an eyebrow. “My dad’s birthday party is this weekend—the long weekend coming up, and I was hoping that you’d come along.” He paused, but didn’t quite make eye contact. He wasn’t sure he really wanted to see her reaction to that. “I was hoping that you’d be interested in coming along and pretending to be my… girlfriend.”
She didn’t respond right away, and there was no way in hell that he was going to look her in her eyes until she did.
“That’s not…” She giggled, and from the corner of his eye he could see the faint blush in her cheeks. “That’s not exactly what I thought you would be asking about when you invited me here,” she said.
“I…” Noct fiddled with his hands in his lap. “Yeah, I’m sorry…”
“I didn’t say I wouldn’t do it.”
He looked up, and she was smiling.
“It’s unconventional, I’ll admit, but it sounds… fun.” She tilted her head to the side a bit, the sun catching off of a loose strand of her hair. “And I like your dad, anyway. It will be good to see him. It’s been too long.”
“Luna—thanks, I know… I know it’s not normal.”
“It will be interesting, for sure,” she said, “but I am free for the long weekend, so I might as well.”
“I’ll owe you one.”
“It will be fun,” she said, and took a sip of her coffee, dabbing at the corner of her lip when she was finished. Her eyes lingered on him for a moment, and he pulled his away to avoid too much eye contact.
“Yeah,” he said. He took a sip of his own too-sweet coffee. “Yeah, it will.”
3
The bus ride was long, and it was quiet. Noct wasn’t sure if the quiet was a good thing or a bad thing. He hadn’t made all that much of an effort at initiating conversation, though, so he supposed he could be partially blamed for that.
As they approached their destination, however, it was more and more evident to Noct that he’d have to say something to her before they showed up. Because if they still acted this indifferent to one another when they got there, no one would buy that they were actually dating.
“So…” he said, turning his head toward Luna. She looked up to him from the book she was reading, politely folding it in her lap.
“Yes?” she asked.
“I just figured… before we got there, we should solidify some stuff.”
“My thoughts exactly,” said Luna. “I was going to ask you how much exactly you had already concocted of our quote-unquote relationship and what I should be prepared to corroborate in front of your dad and his friends.”
“Oh,” said Noct. He should have been ready for her to be on top of it, and realized in the moment that he probably should have broached the subject even earlier than he had. “I haven’t really said much; just that we’re dating.” He paused. “My dad, he—he never really was one to get too touchy-feely, you know?”
“He’s an affectionate man, is he not?”
“I mean, yeah,” said Noct, uncomfortable having to talk about his relationship with his father. He didn’t like to put himself in positions to be vulnerable, even with the people he knew he could trust, co-conspirators like Luna was. He squirmed in his seat anyway. “But we don’t—I mean, we don’t talk all that much, or like, go deep or whatever…”
Luna nodded. She opened her mouth slightly, like she was going to say something more, but then she shut her mouth, holding back. Noct was thankful for that. He slumped back, actively trying to disappear into his seat.
“But I guess if you want to think about where we had our first date…” he said.
She raised an eyebrow. “And why would that be my responsibility?”
“I don’t know,” said Noct. “I just figured that you’d be better at all of that.”
“But in the fantasy we’re going with, you’re the one who asked me out, right?” Luna sat back in her seat, crossing her arms. “In that case, I think you should be the one who figures out how to give a lady a good time.”
“Oh, I—” Noct could feel his cheeks reddening.
“Come on, if we were actually dating, where would you have taken me?”
“I guess somewhere to eat…”
“Nice?”
“Like, I don’t know, somewhere with cloth napkins.”
She laughed. “That’s a good start!” she said. “Do you know any restaurants around campus like that?”
“I, uh—”
“Noctis.”
“I don’t get out much!” he said. “I know we went out to dinner with my dad when we first came to college, but I don’t remember what that place was called.”
“And that particular steakhouse would probably be out of your price range regardless,” said Luna. She nodded. “It really is a good thing you didn’t really ask me out, because that would’ve been a disaster.”
“Well, what would you have had me do for our first date?” he asked. He crossed his own arms now, pouting a little bit more than he realized was probably flattering for him.
“Hmm…” she said, as she put her finger to her chin in an exaggerated display of deep thought. Noct looked to her silently as she calculated her response. The light from the sun coming in through the window and the tree branches beyond dappled her face with light as she teased him with thought.
“Okay,” she said finally. “It would be simple.”
“Simple, like paper napkin simple?” asked Noct
“Simple, like you’re overthinking it simple,” said Luna. She grinned, then she turned her gaze out of the window, at the passing trees. “It would be a walk in the park. Just that. A picnic, maybe, or we would get food along the way, but it would be a moment of stillness with one another.”
She looked back to him, and suddenly he felt embarrassed to make eye contact. His gaze flitted away. “Er… yeah,” he said. “That does sound… nice.”
“But we need to remember that you asked me out,” she said. “So what story are we going with?”
“I took you out for… coffee,” said Noct. “Because I can afford that.”
“Mm-hm,” said Luna. “Working your way up to the fancy stuff. I get it.” She nodded. “Sounds solid enough.”
“And I figure the rest of it will make sense, since we’ve known each other forever,” said Noct. He shifted in his seat and uncrossed and recross his arms.
“I suppose so,” said Luna. She leaned back in her seat and opened her book briefly before bookmarking it and folding it in her lap again, his gaze drifting out the window.
Noct took out his phone and opened up King’s Knight to play some more, but he didn’t quite find himself drawn into the game quite as he had before. He found himself glancing off at Luna and out the window beyond.
4
Ignis picked them up at the bus stop, and Noct slid into the front seat while Luna took the back. Ignis glared at Noct through the lenses of his glasses, the glint of the sun off of the specs somehow making him seem more intimidating.
“What?” asked Noct defensively.
“Oh, nothing,” said Ignis, backing out of the parking spot and navigating toward the road.
They drove in silence, or something close to it. Luna and Ignis exchanged pleasantries, and Noct didn’t pay much attention to what they were saying. Instead they focused on what he was going to say when he got back to the house and had to face his dad.
There was, of course, Ignis’s cold glare that was rattling around somewhere in his head, as well, and he couldn’t quite place what would piss him off so much.
He tuned back into the conversation when he heard Ignis ask, “So how did you two begin seeing one another?”
Noct froze and turned slowly back to Luna, who did not seem taken aback at all by the inquiry. Her eyes flitted to Noct briefly before returning to Ignis in the rearview mirror. “Oh, it was about a month and a half ago. Nothing particularly dramatic—he just asked me for coffee like we were meeting as friends, and it grew into something more...” She trailed off, gazing forward to Noct, who realized he was supposed to add something there.
“Yeah, I mean, we’ve known each other forever,” he said, clenching and unclenching his fingers on his thigh in an outburst of nervous energy. “It was just a thought at first, but we got to talking and it just… clicked.” He grinned back to Luna, who smiled back in turn.
“Interesting…” said Ignis. He readjusted his grip on the wheel. “And I also find it interesting that I only found out about this after your father told me.”
So that was what he was mad about. Noct could practically feel the chill clinging to his words. He flinched a bit in his seat.
“It wasn’t anything that big,” said Noct. “I mean, it was,” he said, deferring to Luna, but then he shook his head. “We just had gotten together and we didn’t want to, like, make a big deal out of it.”
“I suppose I do know how famously well you express your feelings,” said Ignis, “but I suppose I also thought that we were close enough that you would trust me with this sort of privileged information.”
“Yeah, I just…” Noct shrugged. “My dad didn’t even know.”
“Hm,” said Ignis. This signaled an end to the conversation, but Noct got the feeling that this wasn’t going to be the end of it.
Luna picked back up with more conversation after a moment, and resumed a pleasant back-and-forth of small talk. Noct sunk into his seat. He was lucky that Luna was so capable in quick and tough social situations, because he wasn’t. He’d frozen up with the slightest bit of pressure from Ignis, or at least he felt like he had, and more than that, he felt bad. Because he was lying to Ignis. And even if he wasn’t lying to him, there was still the hurt that Ignis felt, because Noct was keeping things from him.
He groaned a bit and swiped open his phone.
Noct: ugh ignis is pissed @ me
Prompto: bummer dude
Noct: this is goin 2 b a long wknd
Prompto: u did this 2 urself
Noct: dont remind me
5
When they arrived at the house, Ignis let them know that Regis was working in his office, looking over proofs for the newest issue of Cutting Edge. That was fine by Noct; he was glad to be able to get settled on his own, without seeing his dad right away. But there was the matter of where they’d be staying. Because Ignis was staying in the guest room, and the pull-out bed in the study was reserved for Cor, who was flying in that night, which meant…
It meant that the last spot for Luna to sleep was… his bed.
“Your father was not sure how along you were in your relationship,” said Ignis as they had pulled up and before he’d retreated to the kitchen, “—but he wanted to be clear that he was supportive of your relationship.” He had paused. “Also, there were no more beds available after Gladiolus borrowed and summarily popped the air mattress in an ill-advised camping trip last summer.”
Noct and Luna were left to bring their bags up to his room.
“So, uh, yeah,” said Noct. He led Luna up the stairs. “I mean, I am sure you remember the house…”
Luna nodded. “Though I don’t believe I’ve been here in a while…” she said. “My brother would absolutely kill me if he knew I was here. It’s been what, five years?”
Noct nodded. It had been a while since the Caelum and Fleuret families had gotten together, even as small as they both were at this point. They both had faced their own share of tragedy, and this affected their dynamics. Noct knew his dad had always had a soft spot for the Fleuret kids, which was part of why he’d brought up Luna’s name in his panic and gotten himself into this whole situation in the first place. But after Mrs. Fleuret had died… they hadn’t spent as much time together. And of course, Ravus wasn’t the biggest fan of the Caelums, either, but that was his own hang-up. This kept the remaining two members of the Fleuret family out of the Caelum social circle for the last ten years at least. Regis had reached out—he’d helped bring Luna to school her freshman year—but the relationship between the families wasn’t the same as it had been.
He pushed open the door to his room and immediately realized how embarrassing it was to bring a girl back to his childhood bedroom, even if it wasn’t the first time she had been there. His eyes went to the emo band posters, which were interrupted by a Halo 3 poster of Master Chief, the arrangement of schoolbooks with a sizable collection of both Animorphs and Warriors interspersed with Xbox games and action figures. Thank God his father employed a housekeeper, otherwise Luna would have also seen a horribly unmade bed and a pile of mostly-clean laundry that rivaled the bed’s height.
“So I guess…” he said, gesturing inward, feeling a blush rising in his cheeks. “The bed’s a queen, so…”
“You act like we’ve never slept over together before,” said Luna, placing her bag on the bed and looking around.
“Yeah,” said Noct, slumping his bag off of his shoulder onto the floor in front of the TV. “But those were when we were little,” he said. “This is…”
“We’re just sharing a bed,” said Luna. “It’ll help with your charade.” She grinned.
“Yeah,” said Noct. “Yeah, I guess.”
“I’ll stay here for a minute,” she said. “You should go say hello to your dad. I’m sure he’s eager to see you.”
“Yeah,” said Noct. He cast a last glance across the room before letting his eyes rest on Luna. “Yeah, I guess.” He turned toward the door, but paused in the doorway. He turned back to her, pausing here. “Luna… thanks.”
She just grinned and nodded from where she sat on the bed, and he tapped the doorframe twice before leaving her behind.
His dad’s bedroom was just down the hall, and he cast a glance that way before he moved back toward the stairs. His father was most likely going to be where he nearly always was—his office.
The door was open as Noct approached, and he could see his father’s head, bent over whatever it was he was reading on his desk—most likely the upcoming issue of his magazine, upon which he’d built his small publication empire. He still was pretty hands-on with his approach to edition and operating Cutting Edge, but the way he moved his finger across the page just seemed tired, but as soon as he looked up and saw Noct approaching, his eyes widened and his wrinkled face lit up.
“Noctis.” His voice was soft, but his son’s name was functionally a warm greeting.
“Hey, dad,” said Noct as he entered the room. With dark wood trim and bookshelves and fancy lamps at either side of the desk, the office seemed old, dark, and fancy. Fancier and more antique than Noct was really comfortable with, but his dad liked it, he guessed. The cane leaning against the side of the desk was a reminder of his father’s advancing age in a way that Noct didn’t really like.
“Noctis, I—I didn’t hear you come in!” He put his hands on the edge of his solidly-built desk and pushed himself upward. His arms shook slightly with effort.
“No, dad, you don’t—”
“I’m coming over, I’m already up,” said his dad. He grabbed his cane and took a few shaking steps forward. Noct crossed the room and let his father hug him. He wrapped his arms weakly around his father, unsure of how much he should hug him back, what would be appropriate.
When he released him, he gripped Noct by his upper arm and gave him a slight shake. “I’m glad to see you, Noctis.”
“Glad to be here,” said Noct. His dad made a short shuffling step. “You can sit down, if you need to.”
“Ah,” said his father, waving him aside. “I’m not as old and frail as you think I am,” he said.
Noct just nodded and took a short step backward, giving his father some space. “Are you… all excited for the big party?” asked Noct, not wanting to lapse into an awkward silence after broaching the subject of his father’s health.
“Yes,” said his dad, looking past Noct into space somewhere. “I’m just glad to have everyone together. Most important was you, of course, but I am looking forward to getting all of my friends and loved ones together.” He paused, and chuckled. He looked back to Noct. “I think it might be a little narcissistic to call everyone here for my birthday, but…”
“Yeah.”
“Better to get everyone together for a celebration. It seems the only other way to get everyone together is a funeral.”
“…yeah.”
And it was at this point that they did lapse into the awkward silence that Noct had been trying to avoid earlier. Noct wasn’t sure what was bothering him so much about all of this, but his father was right—the last time he had seen everyone together like this was when Luna’s parents had died. And before that, it was when his own mother had died. And even though his dad was right, it was a celebration rather than a funeral, having all of these people together still had that connotation of death to him.
He rubbed at his arm awkwardly and shifted from leg to leg before turning to look at the door. Before he could make any move toward it, his father broke the silence with a question that Noct should have known was coming.
“So you’ve brought Lunafreya with you, yes?”
“Yeah,” said Noct. “She’s upstairs right now.”
“Good,” said his father. “I mean, it’s good for you both. You’re both good kids, and I think you’ll be good together.” Noct made the mistake of making eye contact with his father, whose face was so earnest that Noct felt his heart clenching as he knew he was lying to him. He knew that all of this was to make his dad happy, but he just felt bad lying to him like this.
“Yeah, we just sort of… clicked.” Noct looked away. His father opened his mouth as if to say something more, but shut it again right after.
“Well,” he said after a moment. “I’m sure you’ll want to get back to her.” He turned back toward the door; his movements less graceful than they had been just a year before. “I have some work to finish up here. I’ll join you, of course, at dinner. I know it’s going to be good when Ignis is cooking.”
“You know it,” said Noct quietly, and he hesitated a moment, just long enough to make sure his father actually made it back to his desk, before he turned and left the office behind. He swore he could feel his father’s eyes on him the whole time he was walking away.
6
Noct slipped into the kitchen as Ignis was washing some dishes in the sink. The kitchen had a sizable dishwasher, but Ingis often did the dishes by hand when he was cooking. That way he could minimize the mess while he cooked. Noct slid onto one of the stools at the kitchen island and waited.
The water shut off.
“Hello, Noct.”
“Iggy.”
“If you’re going to lurk, at least make yourself useful. There’s a towel on the stove.”
Noct groaned, but he also felt like he owed Ignis after keeping him in the dark—or, at least in Ignis’s point of view, he had—about his relationship with Luna. As soon as he’d gotten the towel in his hands, Ignis was holding out the wet saucepan for him. He took it and began to dry.
They went on in silence like this for a couple of minutes before Ignis sighed and put his hands down against the edge of the sink, as if bracing himself. “Noctis, I apologize for the cold way I was speaking to you earlier. But I cannot change my feelings that led to that attitude.”
“Ignis…”
“We have been close friends for over a decade, Noctis. We grew up together. I know it’s not my place, but I feel almost as if I am a part of your family.” He paused. “When your father first hired me, I thought he was joking. But when I saw the trouble you were having in nearly every subject back in middle school, I understood why you needed a tutor.” He nodded toward the dishes Noct had stopped drying. “Not to teach you things—you’re plenty bright on your own—but to keep you motivated to keep going.”
“You’re the only one who could get any work out of me,” said Noct. He started up wiping down the dish in his hand as Ignis continued.
“Let’s us both hope that’s a trait Luna can pick up on, too, if your relationship is to have any longevity.”
Noct cracked a smile at that, and after a moment, so did Ignis.
“What’re you making?” asked Noct.
“A stuffed lamb,” said Ignis, “with spinach and pine nuts.” He narrowed his eyes as Noct made a face. “It’s something you will eat and will enjoy, because I’m still a little cross with you.” He relaxed his face, turning toward the oven where the meat was roasting. “It’s the recipe I published in the last issue of Cutting Edge, and your father has been pestering me to make it for him since I submitted it. The party itself will be catered, so I thought I might make good use of his kitchen here to roast some lamb tonight.”
“Spinach, though?”
“You’ll barely taste it. Grow up.”
Noct fake-puked and took the last dish from Ignis, drying it and carrying it to its spot in a cabinet. He tossed the towel down onto the counter.
“So the party tomorrow…” started Noct. “How much of the planning was you?”
“Just some suggestions here and there,” he said. “The party planner took care of the rest of it.”
“So I assume they heard a lot from you.”
“I think your father hired them so I wouldn’t end up doing everything myself,” said Ignis.
Noct grinned again, and he leaned his hip against the counter. “Look, Ignis,” he said, “I don’t want you to be mad at me the whole time we’re here. I’m—I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Luna. We were just, you know, getting started and I… well, I don’t date a lot. I wasn’t sure of the protocol.”
“Your apology is accepted,” said Ignis. He grinned. “But your transgression is not forgotten. Keep me in the loop next time.”
“You know it,” said Noct, grinning himself. Ignis was back on his side, at least, and that was something. Even if he wasn’t in on the whole scheme, it felt good to have Ignis friendly with him again. He knew that if there was one person he didn’t want to have a grudge against him, it was Ignis.
7
Noct almost knocked as he re-entered his room, forgetting for a moment that it was his own room. He cleared his throat to let Luna know he was approaching, as she was bent over something, reading it. “Sorry, Luna, I got caught up talking to Ignis, too, and…” He trailed off as she looked up, a smile on her face. “What?”
“Noctis,” she said, holding up the book she had been looking at. “I wondered where this had gone!”
“What—?” Noct started to ask the question, but he saw what it was and recognized it instantly.
“I haven’t seen this in years…” she said. Noct crossed the room and sat on the bed next to her, looking down at the book spread out on the bedspread. The book was a large, spiral-bound sketchbook that had clearly seen quite a bit of use over its lifespan. And Noct remembered exactly when Luna had first given it to him.
“I think I lost it, too,” said Noct, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.
“It was on the lower shelf here,” she said, pointing. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snoop, but I recognized it and I couldn’t resist.”
Noct nodded. “It’s fine,” he said, running his fingers down the side of one of the pages.
They’d started drawing in this book together when he was in the hospital, after his mother had died. He was bedridden thee for a few weeks as he began to heal, after the surgeries and the casts and the monitoring. And he hadn't been able to do much of anything, but she brought the book and the crayons and they had kept themselves busy for hours, drawing monsters and animals and cars and people across the pages. Many of the earlier doodles were of Luna’s then-puppies, and over time, the drawings migrated from two separate piles of doodles to shaky-hand collaborations. As Luna kept him company, the drawings became a necessary distraction from the hospital around him and the horrific accident that had put him there.
And once he was out of the hospital, Luna still visited as her mother helped Regis—who was under, of course, a considerable amount of stress. So the two of them drew more and more, the last drawing together a wide field of blue flowers, stretching from one side of the book to the other, repetitive blossoms that had taken them over an hour to do.
It had been their last collaboration because school was starting, and Luna attended a boarding school—she would not be able to visit as frequently. But Noct had come up with a solution—he would mail her the book so she could draw in a page, and she would mail it back, so he could do the same.
This went on for a couple of years, through her mother’s death and through her brother’s resistance to her having anything to do with him as a consequence. Over time, however, they took longer and longer to send back the correspondence until Noct had lost track of it and ultimately forgotten about it. Since then, he figured, the book must have just sat untouched on that bottom shelf.
Seeing it now, he was happy, but at the same time he regretted never having sent it back. “Sorry I never… well, you know.”
“Nonsense!” she said. She flipped through the next few pages to find the first blank one she could. “Besides, I have it now, and it has been far too long since we’ve drawn in it together. Do you have anything…?”
Noct hesitated for a moment, waiting maybe for her to laugh or to say that she was joking. That indication never came, however, so he got up from the bed and scrounged around one of his shelves for a moment until he found a pencil case he’d last used in high school. There was a small sticker on the school’s mascot on the side of it that peeled off a little as he slid it open. There were two mechanical pencils, a yellow highlighter, two black ballpoints, and a blue felt-tip pen. There were also more than a few old gum wrappers. He pushed the trash aside and held out the open box to Luna for her selection.
She considered a moment, and then she took the blue felt tip pen. She uncapped it as Noct sat beside her again, and she drew a simple design, one that even after all of this time she knew by rote. On this fresh page, she’d begun with that small doodle of a flower that had sprawled in replication across the whole prior page, however many years ago.
Noct watched her draw, and after a moment rather than get his own pen, she handed him the blue pen. He understood. This was just like it was before; he would continue the design. His flower was shakier than hers, but it fit the shape enough. He handed the pen back to her, their fingers brushing as it passed between them. She took it, a smile twinging at her lips as she did, and took her turn.
It was as if nothing had changed, after all of this time, as if they had been able to pick up this drawing of this field of flowers where they had left it off. And despite the weird situation that brought them here, this felt nice. It felt normal.
8
Noct couldn’t sleep. He was pretty sure that Luna was asleep next to him, and he could hear the soft rhythm of her breaths, feel the rise and fall of the sheets, gently, with her chest. He lay totally still. Usually, he was practically narcoleptic, sleeping wherever or whenever he could. Even when he was busy at school, he always managed to get at least eight hours of sleep, if not ten.
But now, in his bed with Luna next to him, he wondered if he was going to be able to sleep at all this trip.
She had been so cool with all of this, just taking comments in stride, chatting casually with his dad, avoiding Ignis’s most prying questions, enjoying herself. She’s been nearby him all evening, even at one point effortlessly draping her arm over his, as if there was nothing at all to notice about it. But Noct was sure that his father noticed. And Ignis, probably, too.
And hadn’t he noticed?
But why did he care? Because he knew at dinner, he felt his ears flush and his heart move faster. He hated it. It was all because of this lie, and it was—it was causing something in him. This was why he got a fake girlfriend instead of a real one in the first place. It was embarrassing when everyone thought you were in love, or when someone noticed your PDA…
So even now, lying in bed next to her, he could feel his face getting warmer and redder. The embarrassment of fake dating had to be better than the real thing, at least. But she was so calm—why wasn’t he, too?
He balled up his hands into fists and closed his eyes tightly. When he opened his eyes, he could see the faint glow of one glow-in-the-dark star on the ceiling. It was the last vestige of what was once an army of stars up there. The others had been either scraped off or painted over about ten years ago when the room was last repainted. That had been not too long after he’d come back from the hospital, he remembered because he was still in the process of physical therapy at the time. That one star was just missed with the paint, or the paint had scraped off, but it glowed its faint glow, whatever the reason.
Noct stared at it until he couldn’t anymore, and he got up to go down the kitchen. Not because he was hungry, but because he supposed that was what you did when you couldn’t sleep. It wasn’t an area in which he had much expertise.
As he got up, he could feel his back twinge, but it always did that when he had laid down for a while. He walked stiffly on his tiptoes for a few steps, doing his best to not disturb Luna, but she didn’t seem to stir even as he crept out of the room and shut the door carefully behind him.
He moved down the hallway without having to turn on the lights. He’d spent enough time in these halls over the years and he was sure that he could navigate them in pure darkness, if need be.
He made it down the stairs fine, but as he was crossing the main foyer at the bottom, he saw a light from his father’s office. He slowed and moved against the wall, feeling as if he were a little kid again, afraid of getting caught being up and out of bed so late.
As he moved closer, he could hear voices coming from within—his dad, alternating with the deep, gruff voice of Cor. He must’ve gotten in, finally. When Ignis had said he’d be coming in late, Noct didn’t think it would be that late. Apparently, it was.
“…I just want to be sure everything is secure,” said his father as Noct keyed his ear into the conversation, pressing himself into the wall just outside the door.
“You’re sure this can’t wait until tomorrow?”
“I don’t want to think about this tomorrow.”
“Sign here and here. Your assets…” He said something else, but Noct wasn’t listening as much, trying instead to wrap his head around what he was saying. His assets? Protection? Why?
“He just—I don’t know what Noctis will do without me.”
“Don’t talk like that.”
“I’m being pragmatic.” Noct held his breath, and as he heard them continue, he had to strain to hear over the drumbeat of his heart. What was his father not telling him if this was the conversation he was having with Cor?
“He’s pretty independent already,” said Cor. “He’ll be alright. And so will everything else.”
“You’ll make sure of that.”
“And so will you, old man.”
Both of them chuckled, and there was a clinking as they must have knocked some glasses together—a nightcap.
Noct felt like he was frozen. If he had a hard time sleeping before, he wasn’t sure how he was going to get to bed now. He put a hand to his face to cover his mouth as he finally took a breath after holding it for so long, and he did his best to stifle the sound. He had to move. He wasn’t sure how long the two of them would be chatting, but he didn’t want them to find out he’d been eavesdropping on their conversation.
He moved back up the stairs quickly and into his room, where he closed the door firmly behind him. Pressing his back against it, he sank to the ground, pulling his knees up as he buried his face in the front of the oversized tee shirt he was wearing. He took a deep breath and tried to run through his mind what he’d just heard. Cor was there helping his dad get his affairs in order. And it was late, which meant it couldn’t wait until tomorrow, that it was urgent.
His dad was turning sixty. He wasn’t old. Not super old. But he’d had the stroke, and even though he’d mostly recovered…
Noct could feel his heartbeat picking up again. What was happening with his dad? Why hadn’t his dad told him? And had he been treating his dad in the way he should have? Because if he was going to…
If he was going to—
And he was so deep in his thoughts that he hadn’t noticed Luna rise from the bed, cross the room like a ghost in her white nightgown, and squat down next to him.
“Noctis…” Her voice was soft, and he leaned over into her shoulder because it felt like it was the right thing to do. She put her arm over his shoulder, and he felt that clench in his chest like he wanted to cry, but the tears did not come.
They just stayed like that in the dark for a long while, the one star glowing faintly above.