Chapter Text
The barrier broke and shattered, glass-like shards were scattering onto the stone of the Eternal Library, which had been sealed off for over a decade, before dissipating into nothing. And Donella collapsed onto her knees from the strain of using magic again after so many years of repressing it. That and the utter relief and anxiety from confessing her love to Ulla literal moments before because she was so sure the counterspells would fail and she’d kill her a second time, for real this time. But it worked and for the first time in over a decade Donella could see the Eternal Library not from behind a hazy teal screen, but the Library wasn’t where she was looking at all.
She collapsed to her knees, there is a sharp pain from a pebble that drew her back to reality because the world had started to spiral in slow motion, and just like when they were kids everything centered around Ulla. Like she had a gravity to her no one could control or resist. She felt hands around her, her head slumped over and where she expected stone cold ground, the warmth of Hugo’s shoulder. She hadn’t felt his touch in years, and for a moment, was taken back to those lonely nights when he would crawl into bed with her and struggle to read along to her book. She thought she had lost him that day when he turned and ran down the same wrong path she had. But she had been mistaken on both accounts. And now he was back, or maybe he never left. Her ear pressed to his chest and she listened to his heartbeat, strong as ever. He had a good heart, something she once wanted to stomp out of him for fear of him getting hurt. That would have been her biggest mistake.
His arm tightened around her, and Donella realized that her ears were ringing. Her fingertips tingle from the excess magic, she hadn’t felt this way in a long time- relieved. Hugo’s saying something but she couldn't hear, her vision blurred as two shapes hover. Both frozen in place, most likely in shock. Strange, what were they staring at?
Something wet fell onto her cheek, then another, then another. She didn’t recall anyone casting a weather spell. From the crick in her neck she must have been laying like that for a while, time felt still. Turning her head to the side, no- up, she squinted at Hugo’s tear-stained face and reached up a hand to wipe at his cheek. A calloused palm rests against him while her thumb brushed away the tears with the utmost care. It was a precise motion, precise and- and tender.
“Why are you crying, Hue? I thought I taught you better.”
Her voice was soft, it broke in the middle, frail sounding as she struggled to form the words. Demanitus- she’d roll her eyes at herself if it didn’t mean creating a raging headache. To her surprise, Hugo’s shoulder shook, she could tell because her head was throbbing. He was shaking- no laughing. He was laughing?
“Obviously I’m not a very good student, Don. Thought you had me all figured out.”
She scoffed and affectionately nudged at his head, her free arm pushing herself into a sitting position when she felt stronger.
“Yeah yeah, I have you a-“
Her voice died off as she heard the crunch of a pebble against stone. Looking up, gray shoes, blue dress- and a face that hadn’t aged a day since the moment she lost her, like a snapshot of time she could grab onto and never let go of- not again. Green eyes stared into blue, two pairs each as Varian motioned his head towards the entrance.
“Well, apparently I don’t have you figured out at all, Don.”
Hugo replied and started to stand, hesitating for a moment before resting his hand atop her head and pressing a kiss to her temple. Donella didn’t really respond, eyes still locked forward.
“We’ll let you two- catch up.”
And with a few shuffling steps, they were alone- alone together. That was an oxymoron.
“I guess some things never change.”
Ulla started, her voice just as hesitant as Donella’s was. Soft like she wasn’t used to actually having vocal cords again.
“You, cleaning up my messes and getting screwed over. For me.”
Donella blinked and, to Ulla’s dismay, her face hardened.
“And how you always assume everything’s for you. And about you.”
And maybe it is, or was, or- she shook her head but grimaced at the headache she received. Wincing, she squinted and in her blurred vision, Ulla took a few stumbling steps towards her and kneeled. She reached out a hand that Donella pulled away from, no matter how much her instincts were begging her to lurch forward and close the distance she spent years wishing didn’t exist. But now she wasn’t so sure.
“Donnie-“
“It’s Donella to you.”
Silence. Ulla cleared her throat and nodded, the formal name feeling strange in her tongue. Everything felt strange to say, maybe because she had grown used to not having a tongue, or a body at all.
“Donella- I don’t even know where to begin when I say I’m so sorry.”
“Oh, sorry for what? Would you like to start in chronological order or should we start from worst? Either way, we should tell the boys to get a snack, we’d be here for a while.”
While it was true she had wished, begged, to be able to hear Donella speak again- her words hurt. And Ulla had forgotten how much they did, maybe because she spoke the truth. The truth that she always opted to run from. She opened her mouth again but Donella raised a hand sharply. Stop. And for once Ulla listened.
“Save your breath. I didn’t release you so that you could give me empty apologies I don’t deserve.”
Struggling to her feet, the world felt slickly off balance as she took a step backward and felt the stability of the wall. Donella swallowed hard and looked up. But that didn’t stop the words from spilling out.
“I may have told you-“
Those three words were so easy to shout out, but now she couldn’t do it. Some things never changed.
“I may have told you... that when I thought you were going to die. I may have still meant it, but that doesn’t mean you get to- to come back into my life after everything and pretend like nothing happened.”
She stopped because her voice was breaking from pain, knees felt like they were going to collapse out from underneath her.
“I know, I know Donni-Donella. I know and you didn’t deser-“
“Don’t tell me what I deserve! I locked you away, I couldn’t save you! I failed you! Don’t talk to me like both of us aren’t at fault!”
The Eternal Library echoed with her words, Donella practically spat them out as Ulla slowly stood up and nodded.
“In a way, Don- you saved me by trapping me here. You took on the punishment for both of us. Because you cared-“
“Because I was too scared to face the truth that I wasn’t what you needed.”
They were at a standstill once again, both too intelligent, both too stubborn to back down.
“Don’t try to lie to yourself like you did last time- don’t act like this is a victory. Don’t act like it wouldn’t have been easier for you to drop dead than for us to fix- to fix everything.”
The edges of her vision were darkening, she took a step towards the door and it felt as if she were passing through water.
“Okay, no more lies. No more running. No more regrets. Let’s make things right, Donella. All of it.”
She paused, Donella’s lips pulled into a small smile as she turned and wearily pushed back her hair. Her braid was messy but intact as she turned and the scars on her face glistened in the Library’s light.
“All of it? Really?”
Her knees buckled. A scream echoed through the building, only this time Ulla ran out. And this time, she came back, guess some things did change.