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Day 11 - Getting Angry
Lev thought he was a pretty understanding alpha.
Most people were pretty aghast at how he let his omega treat him. Morisuke was never one to be gentle. He didn’t say soft words more than once per month, and aside from private moments that sometimes took hours to pry out of him, Morisuke didn’t act much like his secondary at all.
Those private moments…well, Lev wasn’t going to lie to himself and say he didn’t want them a little more often. He was an alpha, after all.
I love Mori for who he is. I always have. And I know how long he’s struggled with himself, and how he acts, and how difficult it is for him to change it. He can’t say or do things other omegas might in any situation.
Morisuke was irritable and could harp on things for a little too long. He was a perfectionist, and details going awry drove him crazy to no end.
And he never…never…never…just listens to me.
It always took at least two to three explanations to convince Morisuke to obey him even slightly. We’re not even talking about huge things here.
Things like directions, and restaurants, and tv shows, and god knows what else.
Now that they were adults, doing adult things that involved decisions and money and bills and taxes and all those other fun things, Lev was finding it less endearing.
Wait, let me be clear. Not him. I love him. I love Mori more than anything else on this earth. What’s grating me is how he refuses to take anything I say at face value. I trust him when he says things in his area of expertise…so why…
The argument itself didn’t even matter. Whatever it was Morisuke was protesting with him about, he couldn’t have cared less. He was sure it wasn’t important enough to have become this hour-long debate.
Was it about changing apartments?
If or not they should buy a house?
Job opportunities?
Where they were going to eat for dinner?
What movie they should watch tonight?
That was the range they were working with.
Lev really, honestly, didn’t even care.
He’d had it up to here, and all he wanted for his omega, for once in his damn life, to just trust him and agree and stop arguing.
Surely Lev wasn’t so thick that he couldn’t make a single decision without Morisuke launching into 50 questions about it. “…that doesn’t even make sense! Seriously? How could we do that without…” Morisuke’s argument was carrying on, and Lev was sitting next to him on the couch listening to nothing other than the blood rushing through his ears.
“Stop.” Lev said finally, keeping the word very low and very slow.
Morisuke paused in whatever his current tirade was and furrowed his brow. “Stop? You’re the one who brought it up! I’m just saying, you don’t get how it would work if….”
“Can you just listen for once? I said. Stop.”
Lev hadn’t spoken like that in a very long time. So much so it even felt a bit rusty. His voice rumbled low as a thunderclap, and his chest felt tight like he was barely restraining himself.
Morisuke immediately went quiet, and Lev saw the way his pupils dilated and recognized his omegas scent changing, making the air sweeter. Trying to placate the sudden unreserved anger he’d just been confronted with.
It was a panicked response to hearing Lev speak to him with an alphas tone for the first time in nearly five years.
Normally, Lev would panic himself. He’d feel terrible for using a rather unfair biological strength he had over Morisuke to force him to obey.
He’d blubber out words, generally make a fool of himself, and they’d sweep the whole occurrence under the rug.
At least, that was what had happened last time this occurred.
When they were still courting, back at Nekoma, and Lev had been angry because…well, now that he thought about it, it was for pretty much the same reasons.
He couldn’t find much fault with Morisuke, aside from his tendency to ignore Lev’s suggestions, instructions, or downright declarations until they’d had a twenty-minute long explanation to accompany them.
Sometimes, he didn’t accept them even then.
So, yeah, this is the point at which Lev would typically revert back to his usual self. Not the silent, stern-faced facade he was still sporting as he stood up.
He sensed Morisuke flinch and nearly caved. He didn’t want to scare him.
No. Not this time. I just…need to prove a point.
“I need a minute.” He walked to the apartment hallway, took his coat, keys, and shoes, and walked out.
His first few steps as he took the stairs from their third-floor apartment to the ground were filled with a grating sense of hesitancy.
I should just go back and apologize. I know he doesn’t mean to make me angry when he goes off…
Morisuke didn’t have a good sense for how harsh he could sound, sometimes.
Lev was used to that, and Morisuke had certainly improved since they’d started courting. It’d been five long years. Naturally, he’d notice the things that made Lev uncomfortable, just as Lev did with him.
Only, Morisuke wasn’t nearly as perceptive as Lev.
The alpha made it to the ground floor and headed out through the lobby onto the sidewalk. It was early evening, the town was still busy, and he started walking with no real destination in mind.
I know everything that makes him tick. I figured it out by the end of my first year of high school, only a year of knowing him and a few months of actually courting him. I know he’s self-conscious, and I know he yells, argues, and acts tough because that’s his defense. It’s gotten so ingrained into his personality, it’s a part of him. That’s fine. I just wish he’d figure out when he hurts me a little bit more.
Lev supposed Morisuke didn’t realize how much words could sting. He was harsh and bitingly sarcastic on the regular.
Lev sighed as he stopped under a lamppost and leaned back against it, looking up at the sky.
A few seconds later, his phone buzzed in his pocket, and, mentally steeling himself, he took it out.
Mori <3: I’m sorry I didn’t listen
Lev blew out from his nose again.
…yeah. That’s about it, isn’t it?
Well, Lev hadn’t wanted for much.
He turned on his heel and started back towards the apartment building, dialing the number as he went.
The phone didn’t even ring before Morisuke picked up.
“Hey. I’m sorry at got mad at you.” Lev said it as smoothly and easily as one could imagine.
He wasn’t the type to hold on to things long.
“No, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize how I was acting…I was….”
Lev sensed the breaks in his omegas voice and let his voice stay steady.
“I know. It’s alright.”
“It’s not alright! I-I should listen to you more…and I don’t, and now that I’m thinking about it, I never do, do I? Are you this mad all the time?”
“Mori, if I felt hurt or got mad at you every time you disagreed with me, we wouldn’t be mated right now,” Lev said tiredly, tucking his other hand into his pocket.
He heard a sniffle on the other end of the phone, recognized his mate had been crying. Probably had been trying to get himself under control before finally texting him.
Lev felt the tightness that had been coiling in his chest, starting to unwind.
All I ask…is that once in a while, he sees it. And works on it. Because he doesn’t take anything lightly.
The reason Morisuke struggled to simply trust in his alpha sometimes was the same reason he would work on these things.
He’d latch on to it with that same sense of anxiety and intensity and wouldn’t waver until it improved.
And sure, Lev knew he’d still probably have to explain the pros and cons of whatever they cooked for dinner the next night.
But that was fine.
All I want is for him to recognize it…an apology was really all I wanted to hear.
Lev took the elevator this time, the doors opened smoothly on his floor, and he raked his hand through his hair as he strode down the hall.
He’s him. And I love him. Always have, always will. Even if sometimes things get to me, I’ll always be back for him.
He unlocked the apartment door, and life began again.