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Suguru thinks that the red string of fate is bullshit.
Why does it have to be romantic? Why believe that you don’t have any say in your future? Why choose to believe in Fates who decide to tie you to people you did not choose?
Choices are for the privileged and rich and Suguru wants to make one fucking choice in his life.
and it’s not to see the red string.
It would be so much easier not to know that everything is decided for you. not knowing is a blessing. It's to be happy. It’s to think you have one damn choice.
because he doesn’t.
Suguru’s fate sits across the classroom. He knows he can cut himself some time and just go and meet him. but he won't. He will purposely ignore what’s his.
His fate got a name, blond hair, blue eyes, and a smile so wide that Suguru’s jaw hurts instead.
fuck you, fates.
He wishes he could choose a blood family too. Otherwise, fates wouldn’t be his sisters who probably sit home right now and giggle at him at how he ignores their instructions.
He knows that when he comes back home he will be asked so many questions.
how is your red string, Suguru?
is he cute, Suguru?
don’t forget to invite us to the wedding, Suguru.
He just stands up and leaves. Better getaway now before he changes his mind.
He sits on the roof of the school building. Why the roof is even open he doesn’t know. He doesn’t want to know as long as he can sit on the roof and drink his coffee without anyone around.
“Isn’t it kinda boring to be alone?”
Suguru doesn’t need to look up to know that it’s his fate .
“It's not”
just leave me alone already.
But the guy just sits near him without any other word. Suguru won’t say anything either. it’s his way of getting away.
His pinky burns. It’s not going to leave any marks on his body. It's more like a sign of finding the right person. Like butterflies in the stomach or feeling like you know them for forever when in reality you just met.
in fact, you most likely did meet before. Fates are weird and their power is limitless.
“Have you ever thought that your life is not yours?”
every. single. day.
“No” a lie of course.
“Gojo Satoru, by the way”
fuck.
Suguru tries to study in a library, and Gojo does anything but study.
Gojo is one of the “gifted”. of course he is. Rich, gifted, and annoyingly beautiful. what else?
People like Gojo Satoru can choose their fate if they pay to the right people. Even Fates need to live on something and Suguru hates it so much that he almost breaks his pen.
It’s been only a week and this game is getting old already. Gojo annoys, Suguru ignores. He isn’t sure who is winning.
he wants to win.
“Why are you here again?”
Gojo’s presence was getting on his nerves.
“Moral support?”
seriously?
“Your moral support would be better if you weren’t here”
“Okay, I will come back”
please don’t.
Suguru won’t admit how quiet the library felt after Gojo left.
fucking fates.
No matter how many times he asks them to change his fate they never agree. Suguru, we found you a perfect match. Perfect match his ass. Gojo is far away from perfect for Suguru.
Gojo did come back later with food and textbooks and attempts to explain complicated math to Suguru.
They both ace the exams.
it’s still his choice .
Suguru wants to push Gojo off the stairs so he would shut up already.
“-okay, okay, listen, but Shrek has a Scottish accent, right? and Fiona… are you even listening?”
“No” he really doesn’t. He doesn’t care about what Gojo is talking about. Suguru rarely pays any attention and why this blond blue-eyed idiot still doesn’t take a hint that he wants to be left alone he doesn’t know.
why don’t you leave me alone?
It has been a month. Not a lot changed.
except that he rejects his own feelings now.
He looks at his hand like the red string would disappear. It doesn’t.
“Okay, fine. What do you want to talk about then?”
how to murder you without consequences.
Although for it he could ask his sisters to help. After all, they can make it possible that nobody will ever find the body. or see how he commits the crime. they are fates. Of course, trying to make his sisters agree would be impossible enough.
“Nothing. Just sit in silence until the class starts”
one…. two….. three….
“Fiona doesn’t have a British accent as her parents”
“You are insufferable”
Satoru just laughs at it.
“Let’s go on a date”
Satoru is way too cheerful for someone who is going to be rejected for the fifth time today.
“I already told you no”
“But why?”
“Because I don’t want to”
He actually fucking wants to go but he won’t say it or go on fucking date with Gojo Satoru.
“Okay, fine”
finally.
“Then let’s not go on a date. let’s go as buddies”
“Are you serious right now?”
“100% serious,” Satoru only smiles as usual “and I really want to see that movie. It's about a mouse that knows how to cook! it has to be amazing”
he never hears the word no, huh?
Suguru’s mouth twitches. fuck, he will definitely notice it. Satoru notices everything. notices even that Suguru is slowly warming up to him.
“Still no and no puppy eyes. It won’t work for the second time”
It worked for the second time.
in fact, it worked a few more times.
They are on the rooftop again. why is it always open? Does Suguru even want to know?
It’s weirdly quiet especially with Satoru around. It’s hard to keep him silent even for 5 seconds.
“What’s on your mind?” now Suguru cannot stand the silence.
“You,” Satoru carefully looks at him. Is he worried? about what? “Have you ever thought that your life isn’t yours?”
“Every single day” not a lie this time.
“Why?” nearly a whisper.
honestly?
“We don’t choose anything. Love, family, school, friends. Nothing is a choice”
If Satoru asked Suguru would say why. Why everything is just one big self-fulfilling prophecy. About red strings. About his sisters. About how he loves him against his own will.
“What if I am choosing to love you?”
Suguru feels like he cannot breathe. No butterflies in the stomach, no feeling of deja vu, no burning. He just cannot breathe because of what? because of choice?
He kissed him like it was the only thing that was keeping him alive. stealing breaths.
his fate. a chosen one.
“I love you on purpose”
yes. on purpose.