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He is standing in a field on the outskirts of Riga waiting. He has been there for an hour. Standing. In the same spot.
By now most people would’ve felt the burn in their thighs from so much inactivity, would have started to move around to get their circulation going again but he’s not an ordinary man. He’s Bucky Barnes. Super Soldier. Used to work for the wrong side.
After the shit really hit the fan – and this time it’s real shit; the new Captain America killing a person kind of shit – he decided to leave Sam and go and find Zemo, hence why he found himself in this field. Waiting. He is a patient man. To paraphrase his friend – Steve Rogers, the old Captain America – he could do this all day.
His phone rings.
He glances briefly at the numbers which flash up on his screen, allows himself the slightest of smiles, and answers.
“What are you doing?” Comes the very direct voice.
“Funny you should ask that. I’m waiting for you. Wondered if I stood still for long enough in the middle of nowhere, that you’d eventually notice.” He looks up at the sky. “Where are you?”
There is a huff from the other end of the line, “We will be there in five minutes.”
Exactly five minutes later, Bucky watches as the sleek craft lands a couple of hundred meters away from him. He sees the hatch open and a figure steps out, spear in hand. He allows himself another smile. When the figure is a few feet from him, it stops.
“Ayo,” he greets keeping his features schooled.
“What do you want?”
Bucky was hoping that she’d say his name and he is momentarily lost for words but he quickly regains his composure. “I wanted to apologise,” he ignores her snort, “and I have an idea as to where we can find Zemo.”
Her eyes fix on him then, “Where?”
Bucky is not enjoying this game. He can see that Ayo is doing everything in her power to not call him by his name. He decides that if she calls him Sergeant Barnes all bets are off. “Before I answer that, I have a few questions of my own for you.”
“Ask,” her voice is low and dangerous, and he wonders how she conveys so much meaning with that one word.
He gestures to her right ear, “Who else is listening?”
She does something to the Kimoyo Beads on her wrist and looks back at him. “We can talk freely now.”
He remains silent, looking at her. Ayo stares back, large eyes never leaving his. After a moment she concedes, “Ach! James, say what you need to say.”
He knows she has let him have this victory, “Thank you,” his voice is soft and low. He swallows visibly as she sweeps his body with a look, long lashes finally rising as she finishes her leisurely perusal. “Walk with me?” he asks but doesn’t wait for her answer as he starts to move away from the Wakandan jet. Ayo falls into step beside him, taking his left side. It feels like old times.
“You heard about Walker?”
“Of course, part of me wishes we had taken that shield. However, it seems it’s destiny is always to be in the wrong hands.”
“Perhaps,” he concedes, knowing that the shield is a bone of contention between Wakanda and the United States of America. He also understands that the Wakandans had considered it lost, not just once but twice, and that they believe it should have stayed that way. Not good memories for anyone.
He sees her eyes flick to him, “There is more.”
He decides not to hold back, that is something Sam has taught him. “Why didn’t you tell me about the arm?” She is silent. He wonders whether it’s because she doesn’t want to answer or because she knows he has another question. “When did you know?” He questions, his voice much lower this time.
“Who was it that accompanied King T’Challa to your home? Why do you think that was?” Her voice has that soft and hard quality to it. She is fiercely protective of her King and country but never afraid to speak her mind.
“Your loud mouth get in the way again?” He is pleased when that raises a smile from her. “So Shuri-“
“The Princess did as she was asked. Did what she thought was right, as always,” she interrupts. Ayo remembers the way Shuri had looked at her when she had taught her how to disable the vibranium arm. Even though she were royalty she looked almost ashamed, perhaps it was because she knew how Ayo felt towards James; maybe because the Princess thought herself a friend to him. When Ayo had suggested that they tell the man before her, the Princess had flashed her a warning look. So Okoye had gone in her stead.
There is hurt in Bucky’s eyes, he knows it’s there because he sees the way Ayo’s look softens. She really was one for lost causes.
When she speaks, her tone is even, matter of fact, “If there was the possibility that you could be reactivated as the Winter Soldier, who would you hurt?”
Rather than react, he takes time to think. Depending on who managed it, there could be many casualties: Sam, he does not like that thought, despite their differences; any number of prominent world leaders, either those not using their power to do good or – worse still – those who are; innocent civilians, unfortunately, there are usually some of those. He looks up at her, “Me,” his smile is one of acknowledgement. “The Winter Soldier is more than just an arm, Ayo.”
“True,” she concedes, “but it would be his biggest weapon.” Ayo had long ago learnt to separate Bucky into different entities, he appreciates it even if he still struggles with the concept. “The technologies that the Princess included are found nowhere else; she added them to help you. Is it not stronger than your previous one?” She waits for his nod. “Imagine the damage it could do, imagine if it were in the hands of someone who wanted the technology for themselves and did not care about the man. We hoped that if it ever came to it, we would be able to disarm you as surely as we re-armed you.” Her hand is on the arm she speaks of, he can feel it through the fabric of his jacket rather than see it because he is too busy taking in her face. She is imploring him to understand, using the word ‘we’ so that she becomes part of the decision to add this fail-safe, so he will not be too hard on his adopted homeland.
Still, he wants… more. It is important to him that he understands her part in this because she was the first person he had allowed himself to trust in a very long time. His eyes never leave hers as he asks, “Why didn’t you tell me when we spoke at the palace. On the morning of the battle?”
“Ach! James! Were there not other words to say?”
He understands. He turns so that he is facing her, moves ever so slightly nearer. Ayo watches him through lowered lashes. His hands cup her face, “I thought I would never see you again after that day.”
“You are so dramatic,” she replies before his mouth descends on hers. She returns the pressure for a little while, then breaks away, “We should not.” Her eyes flick to the aircraft.
“Am I in that much trouble?”
She gives him a look that only she can give: gentle and frustrated all at once. “Those who need to know what happened with Zemo, already know. Which means that soon, those who don’t need to will too.”
“I understand.”
Ayo touches his left arm gently, “Now, tell me to where you think he’s fled.”
He looks briefly to her hand on his arm. Jaw working, he answers, “I think he’s going to what’s left of Sokovia, to the monument, he mentioned it just before you showed up asking for him.”
His companion nods briefly, “It is not far from here by aircraft. If we leave now, we may still find him there.”
“I get to ride in the plane?” He asks, grinning.
She gives him a look and shakes her head despairingly.
On board Yama keeps an eye on him – not allowing him near to the control panels – holding her spear in a way that tells him she’s ready to use it. He takes the hint. The Dora Milaje all feel the same way about Zemo, so he is not surprised by the younger guard’s not too subtle threatening stance.
He phases out for a while, vaguely aware of the sounds around him, Ayo’s conversation to someone across the airwaves. Once she has finished speaking, she comes over to him, again the King’s guard and he tells her his plan.
When all is done – and Zemo is being escorted back to the Wakandan craft by Yama and Nomble – Ayo says to him, “It would be wise to steer clear of Wakanda for a while, White Wolf.” He can see that slight lift of her lips when she calls him by this name, and he knows that she finds it amusing. He’s lost count of the number of times she’d tease him about it back in Wakanda – particularly its origins. To him though, it has come to mean so much more than another nickname.
He does however read the warning in her words: those that shouldn’t know, have found out. He will need to tread carefully for a while.
As she walks away, he calls out to her asking for a favour. She turns to him, looking very much the elite guard she is. “What would this favour be? I cannot petition the King on your behalf.” Though she would if the circumstances were different.
He moves towards her when he realises that she is not going to close the gap between them, “It’s not for me. It’s for Sam.”
“Your partner?”
“We’re not partners. I was just helping out.” He doesn’t look at Ayo because he doesn’t want to acknowledge the look she is giving him right now. “I’d like Shuri to make him a new costume,” he sees Ayo’s raised eyebrow when he dares to look up, “and wings. His last set were broken and that’s the second time… he needs something sturdier.”
“James,” soft-voiced Ayo is back.
“He.. I broke his wings the first time, Ayo,” his voice breaks a little and he shakes his head trying to regain control, “He just needs something stronger for the fight he’s got coming his way.”
“Why do you do this to yourself?” She asks, not really expecting an answer and he looks up at her with pleading eyes. She changes tack, “What makes you think the Princess would do this?”
“I know after what happened with Zemo, I probably have no right to ask but I need her to do this for me and… I think I might still be owed a favour.” He sees that Ayo looks doubtful. “He doesn’t even need to be there, does he? I know she’s still got his scans on file. Just ask her, please. If she won’t do it for me, then ask her to do it for Sam. He’s a good man.”
Her eyes narrow at him, “You say he is not your partner but you care about him.” When he refuses to answer, she states, “You are a good man too, James. I will ask.” She turns away.
Bucky manages to fly back to the United States with one of the units returning home as part of the escort for John Walker. He had been hoping to catch a ride back with Sam so that they could discuss the shield but had learnt he’d already flown on ahead with Torres.
Between his talk with Ayo and the flight, he’d crossed another two names off his list: the Kaminski’s. As the Winter Soldier he had killed the husband’s assistant, framing him for murder and allowing Hydra to take control of the company for their own means. While Mr Kaminski had been left to rot in jail, his wife had watched her life fall apart ending up ostracised by the community and the rest of her family. Life had been hard for both of them but, after the husband’s release from prison, they had slowly started to rebuild their lives. While his return had not been a welcome intrusion into their world, it had not gone as badly as he had suspected it would. He knows the remaining names will be far more challenging.
He is back in his apartment a week later when he hears a knock at the door. He pads quietly over to it and looks through the peep hole. He breathes out slowly before he opens the door. Ayo is standing there holding a large black and silver coloured case. She is alone and wearing not her normal Dora Milaje uniform but a black sleeveless dress.
“Come in.” He gestures with his head. “Aren’t you cold?”
She steps over the threshold. “I walked from the aircraft down to your apartment. There was no opportunity for me to get cold.” As she speaks, he watches her survey his living space and he knows she’s looking for possible hidden threats. He realises that Ayo is the only person he knows who does this for him. Always making sure he is safe despite his ability to take care of himself. She leaves the case by the door, removes her shoes and moves slowly around his apartment. When she returns to him, she says, “You have been sleeping on the floor.”
He shrugs, “It’s firm like the beds I’m used to.” He doesn’t need to add that he’s not slept in many.
“You have hardly any belongings.” Large eyes bore into him.
“Is it any different to when I was in Wakanda? I’ve not had much of anything for a while.”
She concedes his point with a tilt of her head. “The Princess has done as you requested. The suit is in the case. There are also some instructions… I did not ask,” she adds at the look on his face. “You will take it to Sam?”
“Yes, I’m sure he’ll be happy to see me,” his tone tells her that that probably won’t be the case.
“You are not to open it.”
“Of course not.” He is still standing in the same position staring, and he knows it.
Not phased by his lack of conversation, Ayo continues, “I took the liberty of visiting your dwelling when I was home. I have something for you.” She reaches into a pocket concealed in her dress, “Hold out your hand.”
He does so without hesitation and feels her drop something light into his right hand. He expects it to be the small figure of Bast but when she takes her hand away, he sees that it is something entirely different. His surprised laugh seems loud in the quietness of his apartment – sitting in his palm is a small carving of a white wolf. He looks up at her with a puzzled expression.
“I was going to bring you the carving of Bast but it seems that Adeniyi has been busy. He made this for you.”
“He’s a good kid,” he coughs to cover up his voice, hoarse from emotion. Adeniyi was one of his favourite people in Wakanda, Bucky had spent long hours practising speaking Xhosa with him. “Thank him for me.”
“Of course,” she inclines her head, watching as he places the carving on his little table. She stops him before he can say anything else. “The Princess also asked me to give this to you.” From her pocket she pulls out another object, small, oblong and made of metal. Ayo touches a finger to the side and a panel glows blue. “This is to monitor your arm. The Princess said she had noticed a spike in the telemetry she receives?”
“It was a fight,” he dismisses. The fight with Walker but he doesn’t tell her that.
“She said that the nano technology should be able to handle any small surges but in case you are worried, or it doesn’t function as you think it should, this will help you with diagnostics. If you touch this panel, it’ll be keyed to your bio-signature.”
He goes to touch the side as Ayo did, looks up at her, and with a self-deprecating smile asks, “Is it also designed to make my arm drop off?”
She huffs at him, “Not that I am aware but perhaps I will ask the Princess to add that feature.” He has touched a nerve and although he does not want her to be upset, he feels it is he who should be holding a grudge. But he does not. Everything Ayo has ever done for him has always come from a good place. He touches the panel which blinks for a couple of seconds before going dark, then places it on the table next to the little wolf.
“You should keep it with you at all times,” she instructs him.
His voice is low and husky when he responds, “I’m not going anywhere for a while.” He reaches out his right hand to her and pulls her closer. She does not resist as he holds her close.
She trails her fingers down the length of his vibranium arm and he wonders if she knows what that does to him. He often sees it as a weapon, as something apart from himself but the way her fingers glide over it, tells him a different story.
“I like this arm,” she says looking up at him.
“I’d say you’re slightly biased,” he gives her a lopsided grin.
“Because I like the man it’s attached to?” She asks honestly and sees him visibly swallow.
“No, because it’s made of vibranium.”
“I do like vibranium, it’s so versatile,” she stretches on tiptoe to place a kiss to his lips, “I wonder if your arm is too.”
Bucky wakes from a nightmare and immediately feels Ayo’s hand on his back. She moves it up and down as his breathing slowly returns to normal. “Who were you remembering?” she asks gently.
His eyebrows draw together as he tries to separate reality from the dream. “I killed Zemo?” he asks confused, turning slightly to look at her.
“He is on the Raft. Remember?” At his slight nod, she continues, “You will tell me?”
He moves with Ayo so that they are both sitting up against the wall in his living room, a thin grey blanket covering them both. “There are so many people, Ayo, and they… sometimes I misplace… where..” as his voice catches he finds he cannot continue. He wants to say where I killed them but the words refuse to push themselves out of his mouth.
“You feel the guilt for what he has done.”
He gives her an incredulous look, “He is me,” he says with more force than he intends. “Zemo showed me that!”
He sees her features become hard but when she speaks her voice is still soft and he knows that she has controlled it for him, “What did he do?”
In halting words, he explains about Madripoor and how easy it was to fall back into the role of someone he would much rather forget.
“That is but muscle memory. It was not him,” she places her cheek against his left arm.
Bucky is endlessly fascinated by how comfortable she is with that part of him. “I can’t do what you do and separate us.”
“Sergeant Barnes, James, Bucky, White Wolf and the Winter Soldier, they are all part of you – are they all the same?” she asks, not really expecting an answer.
Unexpectedly, Bucky smiles, “You know that you just called me Bucky, right?”
Ayo levels a look at him, “No, I was listing out names.”
“That belong to me, so you called me Bucky… and you hate that name!”
“You are really rather annoying, has anyone ever told you that?” Ayo’s eyes are narrowed as she takes in the sheer glee on his face.
“I’ll never let you live that one down,” he continues, ignoring the look in her eyes.
“James, I see what you are doing. It is my fault for allowing you to get away with it for so long, we should have talked about this properly.” Her stern face finally makes him stop. His eyes narrow at her but she says, “If you are trying to outstare me, it will not work this time. You know that I always let you win, yes?”
He would stand and walk away from her at this point but, being naked, he doesn’t think it would have the same effect. He settles for turning his shoulder slightly. He sees her lean forward so that she can better see his face. “Do not act like a petulant child, James.”
“How would you like me to act?” He huffs, still not looking at her, knowing he is unable to meet her gaze because he fears what she will read in his eyes.
Ayo moves her hand to his chin and turns his face towards her, “White Wolf,” she says gently and there is no laughter in her eyes, “you cannot continue to run from this. He is a part of you, that much is true, but he does not control you. It does not matter what Zemo thinks,” she says his name with scorn, even as she moves her hand to caress his cheek, “because there are people who see you differently. Who care about you.”
“Really?” he asks but with a challenge in his tone. “Who?” This time his look is almost one of a defeated man as if he can’t believe that there’s anyone left in the world who has his back.
“Sam-”
“Calls me a cyborg. You know, maybe you could just beat-”
“Enough,” her patience is wearing thin, “Shuri,” she continues.
“Who devised a way to literally dis-arm me and then didn’t tell me.” He smiles smugly.
“Who made a suit for your friend – and yes, I mean Sam – because you asked.”
His eyes widen and Ayo clucks at him, claiming victory in that one. “Me.”
Bucky swallows, “You’re different.” He runs a hand through his hair, “It’s a pretty short list and I’m not sure that Sam actually cares.”
Ayo ignores his comment, “If we needed you, would you come to our aid?”
“Of course,” he does not hesitate at all. He had jumped on a plane with Sam to follow up a lead, hadn’t hesitated to defend Wakanda against Thanos. Those things just made sense to him. Why wouldn’t he come if asked? Then it dawns on him. Ayo’s look is smug and as much as he begrudges that she is right about him – it proves his point: she is the only one who knows him. She knows that he is unwaveringly loyal.
“We would do the same for you,” she says softly, “but I think you know that.” She peers at him, the smug look gone, her face full of understanding. “We would do it because of the man you are now, not what you have been or even what you may become.”
“Well, that’s just swell,” he states, not able to control the sarcasm in his tone. He knows what she says is true because they have all helped him before – even though it was Steve who was doing the asking.
“James, if you continue to run, you won’t get far. He will win and everything you have tried to do over the last few months will be for nothing. Is that what you want?”
“No,” he exhales sharply. “I’m not sure if I’m… strong enough.”
“You are, White Wolf,” she smiles.
Ayo is already gone when he wakes up for the second time – he is not surprised because that seems to be the pattern of things with the two of them. Her duties always keeping them apart – never allowing them to saviour the big moments they have together. He surveys the room, and it suddenly feels very empty. Even his television does not fool him into thinking he is living anything like a normal existence. His eyes wander over to the door, coming to rest on the case and he knows he should deliver it sooner rather than later.
Eyes narrowing in on something and he stands and moves to his little table. There is another figure standing beside the small white wolf, its left arm slightly outstretched towards the animal. He picks it up and he immediately sees that it is a carving of a guard of the Dora Milaje. It could have been any one of the elite guards but he can see that Adeniyi has observed Ayo beautifully, it is there in the stance and the curve of the figure’s hips. He understands immediately what it means for her to have left it with him. And he feels hopeful.