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Thanatos sighed, floating aimlessly at his usual balcony spot. After Zagreus’ constant requests for him to take this specific day off, weeks of convincing Hades to allow it, the day had finally arrived. A full 24 hours with no work to be done. Except there was one problem. Zagreus was nowhere to be found.
Not that he had been looking forward to it, he assured himself. It’s just with how unusually insistent Zag had been, he had assumed he had some sort of date in mind. Or at least some way to pass the time together. Instead, he was left with an overwhelming sense of boredom.
“Something troubling you, lad?” Achilles asked from his post, noticing Thanatos’s discontented expression.
“Nothing at all, Sir Achilles,” Thanatos replied sharply. “...But on an unrelated note… Have you seen Zagreus around lately?”
“Not recently, no.” Achilles answered. “He seemed fairly excited about getting out last I spoke with him, he’s probably half-way to the surface by now.”
Thanatos felt his stomach drop. Of course, Zagreus would be preoccupied with his job, even if he had worked hard to get a break from his. “I see. Thank you for letting me know.” Thanatos sighed, drifting back into his spot.
“Everything alright?” Achilles checked again. “I may not know much in the workings of gods, but I’d like to think I know a little when it comes to love.”
“Love?” Thanatos repeated, tensing up in shock. “Wh-what are you talking about? I was just wondering where Zagreus ran off to, seeing as he’s always pestering me lately and suddenly disappeared, there’s nothing more to it.”
Achilles sighed. “I won’t pressure you if you don’t want to talk about it, but you’re not doing yourself any favors by hiding your relationship at this point.”
“How did you…” Thanatos mumbled, pausing as the realization hit him. “...Zagreus told you, didn’t he.”
“Aye, that he did.” Achilles nodded. “But your distressed expression tells me more. So take a seat, and tell me what’s happened between you two.”
Thanatos hesitated, weighing his options. He was never one to discuss his emotions, but Zagreus always seemed to have an otherworldly sway on him. Perhaps discussing it with someone else might be helpful. “...If you insist.” Thanatos yielded, sitting on the bench across from Achilles.
“Feel free to start wherever you’d like.” Achilles encouraged, his gentle expression offering a sense of comfort.
Thanatos took a deep breath. “...I don’t even know where to start. I always feel like I’m both dragged around by him, yet also left behind.” Thanatos paused, trying to find the words. “He’s stupidly honest, but I can never tell what he’s thinking. He’s confusing, even infuriating at times… But I still want to be with him whenever I can. And I worry that it just might be one-sided on my part.”
Achilles chuckled. “It really is quite strange…” He mumbled.
Thanatos shot him a vicious glare. “What is?” He growled.
“How similar you and he are.” Achilles smiled. “You’ve nothing to worry about, lad. He feels the exact same way you do. He used to come here and talk to me about how to get you to look his way, to acknowledge him… I can still remember the grin on his face when he told me about how you finally accepted him…”
“Please tell me he didn’t tell you about that…” Thanatos groaned.
“Well, he is like you say, stupidly honest.” Achilles chuckled.
“What am I going to do with him....” Thanatos sighed, a hot flush of embarrassment washing over him. Yet the weight in his chest from before was beginning to lighten.
“He doesn’t mean any harm by it. He spent so much time thinking over his feelings for you, finding the right words, building up the courage. I think that alone speaks to how much he cares for you, and how seriously he takes your relationship.” Achilles placed a gentle hand on Thanatos’ shoulder. “So give him some time, and have an honest talk with him when he returns. Let him know you missed him.”
“No one said anything about missing him.” Thanatos retorted sharply.
“Maybe not. But I’ll give you the same advice I gave him. Follow your heart. I’m sure you two will find a way to work things out.” Achilles smiled.
“I can only hope…” Thanatos mumbled under his breath. “Well, I’ll leave you to continue your work. I have… some things I’d like to think about. Alone.”
“Of course, lad. I’ll be here if you ever want to discuss your troubles.” Achilles grinned. “Zagreus tells me you tend to get stuck in your head too often.”
“I really am going to kill him…” Thanatos groaned. He returned to his balcony, staring out over the River Styx below. He had always found the deep red color soothing, a reminder that all things will eventually return here. Including a certain hard-headed, gentle-hearted prince. And at one time, that thought alone was enough. But now, the desire to be by Zagreus’s side, to know where he is and if he’s alright, slowly began to consume more and more of his thoughts. Perhaps this was the same type of greed he’d seen in mortals, the greed he’d so often scoffed at. “What’s wrong with me…” Thanatos mumbled.
There were times he wished he’d never known this confusing feeling, to go back to be the cold, empty god of death, feared by all who lived on Earth. To never know greed, or love, or any of the thoughts that now plagued him. But the idea of never knowing Zagreus’s smile, that would brighten even these dark halls, Zagreus’s laughter that sounded like music, or his gentle touch on his skin… Thanatos didn’t even dare to imagine it. For all the heartache and sleepless nights he brought, there was no life he could dream of living without Zagreus in it. “So hurry up and come home…” Thanatos ordered quietly.
He felt the familiar pull of Mort’s summon in his chest, filling him with excitement. Zagreus was calling him. Thanatos wasted no time in answering, keeping a tight grip on his scythe as he teleported to Mort’s location. The flash of light brought him to Elysium, Thanatos already in battle position, gazing around for whatever foe lay ahead.
Except, there was no foe insight. The glade was empty, a small table set up with bits of food and drink, as Thanatos lowered his weapon, unsure of what to do. “Surprise, Than!” Zagreus cheered from behind him.
Thanatos turned sharply, Zagreus grinning back at him. “W-what is all this, Zag?” He demanded.
“It’s our date!” Zagreus announced proudly. “To celebrate our anniversary!”
“Anniversary? What are you going on about now?” Thanatos asked, Zagreus taking his hand and leading him to the table.
“I was talking to Patroclus and Achillies, they said they used to celebrate the day they became lovers every year while they were alive,” Zagreus explained, helping Thanatos into his seat. “And while we may not be alive, per se, I thought it would be nice to celebrate our anniversary.”
“So the reason you wanted me to take today off…” Thanatos realized.
“Was to invite you here for a surprise dinner. Just the two of us.” Zagreus smiled. “I had the chef back home teach me how to make the food, using fish I caught myself. I had Patroclus help me find this small spot in Elysium where we wouldn’t be bothered, and I paid Charon some extra coin to give us a boat ride back home when we’re done.”
Thanatos sighed, covering his face with his hand. “Zagreus… In a million years I don’t think I could even begin to understand what goes through your head…”
Zagreus’s face fell. “Do you not like it?” He asked quietly.
“I like it very much, actually,” Thanatos replied. “I just feel a little foolish for worrying so much earlier.”
“Worrying? About what?” Zagreus asked, concerned.
“About…” Thanatos paused, struggling to get the words out. Achilles’ advice echoed in his head. Follow your heart. “About you… abandoning me again. Getting tired of me and leaving for good.”
Zagreus knelt in front of him. “Than… I could never get tired of you. And I will never abandon you. I know that’s still a little hard to believe considering how things went when I left… But things are different now. I have my mother in my life again, but more importantly…” Zagreus placed his hand on Thanatos’s cheek. “I have you by my side. I love you, Thanatos. And I will spend the rest of eternity making sure you know that.”
Thanatos nuzzled against Zagreus’s touch. “I suppose I’ll have to take your word for it.” He smiled. Zagreus pulled Thanatos in for a kiss, his lips sweeter than any ambrosia.
“Now, shall we have dinner?” Zagreus asked.
“Of course.” Thanatos agreed. “Considering how much work you put into all this.”
“This was my first try at cooking, so don’t get too excited.” Zagreus laughed, taking a seat across from him. Thanatos took a bite of the cooked fish, flavorless and dry. He quickly reached for the nearby wine glass, downing it in seconds. “...That bad, huh?” Zagreus sighed.
“...I don’t think it will kill me, but it’s certainly trying to.” Thanatos chuckled.
“I’ll practice more for next year.” Zagreus offered, staring stubbornly at the failed dish.
Thanatos felt his still heart stir. Next year. Of course. They’ll be together for all the years to come as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Thanatos smiled. “I look forward to it.”