Work Text:
Day 13 - Comfort
Morisuke really wasn’t prepared for this.
He’s always…positive. Upbeat. Nothing ever gets him down for more than, like, five seconds.
Those were his thoughts, and yet here he was faced with an uncomfortable reality, just around the corner of the gym.
Everyone else on the team had left for the day. He and Lev had stayed behind, Morisuke still helping Lev with learning the volleyball basics that didn’t involve spiking. They’d been courting for nearly seven months now. They were nearing the Spring Tournament. The pressure was mounting, and everyone was feeling it pretty hard. After all, this was the last shot for the 3rd year's. It was exciting and terrifying all at the same time.
Morisuke hadn’t gotten even the slightest inkling that Lev was struggling with it.
Sure, out of all the starting players at Nekoma, Lev was the one with the least amount of experience actually playing volleyball. Yet he was also the tallest, and despite his klutzy disposition, was impressively athletic.
He had caught up remarkably fast, and even if Morisuke was hard on him, he would readily admit Lev had done incredible work in just the short amount of time he’d had on the court.
Not only that, but he never complained.
Ok, well, he has complained. But never, like, seriously. Whining and pouting, that’s whatever; it’s just him acting up the way he always does. But not once has he ever actually given up on something. He doesn’t quit. No matter how bad he is, he keeps trying.
Which led to the current, rather problematic, situation.
After they’d finished their extra work, Morisuke had been expecting Lev to suggest they get a post-practice snack together, or shower and go hang out, or at the very least, walk part of the way home together.
Instead, after they’d showered and ended up back in their school uniforms, Lev had just said with every bit of his usual brightness. “You go ahead today, Mori! I need to go to the school library, have to pick out a book for a report I need to write. Sorry! I’ll see you tomorrow!”
He’d then promptly turned and strode off towards the opposite side of the large gym building, swinging his arms and humming a merry tune.
Morisuke had called a goodbye after him and started the walk home alone before coming to a halt about five minutes down the street, frowning.
He didn’t…try to kiss me?
Lev was annoyingly persistent about kisses goodbye. So long as it was only the two of them, allowing for scant pedestrians, Lev would pitch a fit to gain himself the privilege of a goodbye kiss. He would whine the night away via text or phone call if Morisuke dodged it or dared to forget about it.
Yet Lev hadn’t asked for one today. In fact, he hadn’t even approached as if expecting one.
So Morisuke had retraced his steps back to the gym, and that was when he’d arrived at the corner of the gym, past the path where they normally walked up. There was a set of stairs leading up the back entrance, and sitting there, face buried in his palms, shaking with silent sobs, was his alpha.
The scent in the air, which he usually dearly loved, screamed so much stress and dismay that Morisuke actually felt a bit dizzy from it. That lovely smell like a forest after rain, that gave off this supreme feeling of calm even when Lev was acting childishly, was warped and distorted.
Not that it physically affected him, but Morisuke couldn’t help but feel sick at the scent.
It was never like this.
Lev’s scent was consistent. It was a rock in the middle of a tempest-ridden ocean. Unmoving, unbreakable, unshakable. Lev was always in a pleasant mood, even when he was whining or bemoaning things, and even when he was feeling outraged or stressed, his scent never changed much.
Morisuke supposed it was a revelation that Lev, in fact, was excellent at keeping things bottled up. He must have sent Morisuke away knowing he was minutes from a mental breakdown of this magnitude, that he’d lose all control over his scent, and had cheerfully sent Morisuke away, without garnering even the slightest bit of suspicion.
If he’d remembered the goodbye kiss, Morisuke would already be home by now, none the wiser.
Yet instead, here he was, having pulled back from where he was leaning around the corner, nerves flooding his system.
What do I do? He clearly didn’t want me to see him like this. That’s why he sent me away. I might push him around sometimes, but he is an alpha. When he’s emotional like this, there’s no telling how he’ll act. He might even be angry at me for coming back. Should just…go?
In fact, the omega considered it. He could just go home. Lev hadn’t wanted him around for his breakdown. It must have been for a good reason.
He’s got his pride as my alpha, I’m sure. He’s the one who’s supposed to be taking care of me.
And Lev had.
Rather impressively for a sixteen-year-old, at that.
So, with his mind made up, Morisuke squared his shoulders, took a deep breath, and leaned around the corner again.
“U-Uh…Lev?” He called the name gently, but he needn’t be much louder. His alpha immediately snapped his head in his direction.
His pale complexion was a splotchy mess, and his shoulders were still shaking. Half-rent sobs were breaking from his mouth, and yet his emerald eyes looked clouded and confused.
“Why are you here?” His throat constricted around his voice, making it difficult for it to escape him.
Morisuke wracked his brain for a decent reply before thinking up something Lev himself might say, should their positions be reversed.
He smiled somberly, keeping the heaviness of the situation well in mind.
“I came back for my goodbye kiss. You never forget it.”
Lev blinked at him with no response, frozen at the moment and unable to muster up his usual bravado that might emerge at such a statement from his court mate.
Morisuke carefully approached up the sidewalk, and from the look of things, Lev was nowhere close to violent.
Then…it’s hard to ever imagine him being violent…even towards things other than me.
A soft-hearted alpha in the body of a ferocious-looking lion. Sharp green eyes, chiseled foreign features, yes, certainly Lev looked intimidating in his current position.
Aside from the tear tracks still cutting down his cheeks.
When he arrived, Morisuke climbed up the two steps and sat down next to Lev, smoothing his skirt as he did. He set his bag down on the step next to him, then leaned forward, crossing his arms over his knees.
He didn’t say anything at first, and Lev was clearly still too shocked at Morisuke’s arrival to figure out any words to say.
When the cogs in his brain finally began to turn, the alpha did speak, croaking the words out. “…I didn’t want you to see me.”
He said, turning away again and raking his hands into his hair, letting his head hang down, keeping his face from Morisuke’s sight.
“I figured.” The auburn-haired boy replied, flitting his eyes around the scene before him.
Lev is so good at comforting me…he’s been there for me in times like this so many times before…I can’t fail to at least try and do the same for him.
Lev had caught him in his low moments pretty early in their courtship. He’d always been so soft and kind and somehow understood just the right things to say.
It was a far cry from the mindless blabbering he did most of the time.
He’s so…good. But I don’t even know what’s wrong…he always knew. Before I said a word, he’d know why I was upset or angry. He’d say, ‘college applications are rough, huh?’ Or ‘You’re beautiful, you know that, right?’ Or ‘I think the takoyaki shop is still open, or does your stomach hurt?’ He always knew! If it was stress, or self-doubt, or post-heat pains, he always knew…always knows.
So Morisuke wracked his brain. Searching his memories for the information he needed. What could be happening that would bring his alpha into such a devastating state?
…why am I so bad at this!?
Mori…I think I’m doomed to never receive a single ball…
Why won’t you just GO OVER!
I don’t…like, I don’t move! How do you do it? Why am I so slow!?
…I just shouldn’t play at the tournament! I’ll be the cheer squad! Or the water boy! Who needs a towel!?
Lev had said all these things in the throws of his usual childish banter, or temper tantrums, so Morisuke had brushed them off as the same as his other whining.
Yet striking upon it now, he realized they all had some truth to them.
Hell, he’d been musing about it only a few minutes ago.
So Morisuke made up his mind and took a deep breath.
“…it’s ok, you know? You’re doing great. You’ve gotten so much better in just a few months, so don’t be so hard on yourself.” He tried to emulate that soft tone he remembered clinging to when Lev had comforted him before, as he reached up and peeled one of Lev’s hands from where it was still gripping at his hair.
He held that hand, though Lev was still hiding his face with the other, and scooted a bit closer, bringing their shoulders together.
“…I’m really proud of you. You’ve worked really hard, and….”
“…I’m gonna ruin it. Your last game. I can’t…I can’t do it.”
Morisuke clamped his mouth shut a moment before sighing. “Lev, whatever happens at this tournament, it will never be all your fault. Whatever happens out there falls on all of us. It’s not the fault of whoever screws up on the last point, or the first point, or any of the points in between.
“…I can’t move. I’m slow, and I can’t even receive.”
“Well, you’re tall; it’s harder for you than it is for me, besides receiving is my job, so….”
“Kuroo-san’s nearly tall as I am, and he does just fine.”
“Because Kuroo’s played volleyball for almost ten years at this point, Lev. You’ve played for not even a year and look at you. You can keep up with all of us!”
“No, I can’t. I’ll mess it up when it counts…I know it. And it matters so much to you, and it not just ok if everything gets screwed up because of me a-and...”
His alphas voice was shaking again, and with little clue of what else to do, Morisuke wrapped his arms around Lev’s shoulders, nuzzling at his neck.
That pained, stressed scent was still hanging heavy in the air, but Morisuke pushed ahead regardless,
“…Lev, this tournament, whatever happens…of course it matters to me…I won’t lie and say it doesn’t. It’s my last chance to play with you and with everyone else. But you know what? If the tournament was canceled today, then…it’d be alright. Because I’ve already gotten everything I could ever ask for from volleyball. Things I didn’t ask for, even. So if I play in college, or not. If I play another day after I finish high school, even. If I never set foot on a court, not a day in my life after Nekoma, that’d be fine.”
Lev was very quiet for a few moments. He didn’t offer any rebuttal because he couldn’t see where Morisuke was going with this. He also wasn’t in a much a state of mind to argue any of his omegas points.
“You know why? Why that’d all be alright with me?” He prompted, leaning forward and looking down at Lev’s hanging head.
Lev, now pulled partially from his own mental rabbit hole by Morisuke’s words, glanced dully back at him, freeing his face from the shield of his hand and bangs only partly. “Hm?”
A one-tone hum, indicating he didn’t understand.
“I met you.”
Morisuke saw the way Lev’s eyes widened and let the bubble this conversation and this situation had created spur him on.
He’d never say something like this on any other given day. Even if it were everything he felt in his heart.
“I’ve played volleyball my whole life. And after I presented, I still played, almost out of spite. I was so angry and empty, and I felt like no one would ever want me. So I played. Because it was the sport where I’d always be needed if nowhere else for what I am. And then here you came.”
Morisuke squeezed about Lev’s shoulders tighter.
“Here you came, so tall and loud and happy all the time. And you weren’t great at volleyball, but you loved it just as much as I did from the very first day. I’d never seen anything like it.”
The omega then huffed out a breath. “Y’know, I thought you were handsome, then, too. Would we have ever even spoken if I didn’t play volleyball? Even if we still both went to Nekoma? No. Never.”
Morisuke barreled on with his words. “So if I never play volleyball again after this tournament, then who cares? Because I’ll have you, still. And even when I feel like I’m angry or empty again…I’ll never stay that way. I’ll never have to pour myself into something that could never love me back, like a volleyball court.”
He chuckled spitefully at himself.
“…because I can pour it all into you. And you’ll love me back. For whatever reason you found in that head of yours.”
Morisuke then paused, trying to figure out how to tie things off, and sighed again. “I want you to have fun at this tournament. I want you to see how fun it’ll be. I want to see you going for everything, with all you have. Don’t be scared. It’s the last time we’ll play together, so won’t you make it a great time for me?”
Lev, at last, gave a bitter-sounding sniffle before suddenly straightening up and enveloping Morisuke in a hug. His long arms wrapped him up completely, and Morisuke found his head being wedged under Lev’s chin.
“Yeah! Y-yeah, it’ll be the best time! The greatest time! I-I…I’ll make sure!”
And now he was really crying, hiccuping out childish sobs that were completely understandable for a sixteen-year-old.
Morisuke rubbed circles into what he could reach of Lev’s back and hummed comforting words.
After a few minutes, the emotions seemed to have wrung themselves out of his alpha, and Lev groaned, bowing his head again.
“…I didn’t…I don’t want you to think I’m soft or….”
“Soft? Of course you’re soft! It’s one of your best features! I love that about you, y’know?” Morisuke replied with this, quite brightly, and it seemed their roles had switched, even if just for a few moments in this quiet little bubble of space.
Lev was being dragged up from his lows by Morisuke, who was smiling brightly as if to replace the very sun.
It was almost like a reality shift, but in the end, it was simple.
Morisuke was trying to be the comfort Lev needed, just like Lev had for him so many times before now.
Lev stared as Morisuke popped up from where he’d been sitting on the step and jumped down to the sidewalk.
He then turned around and put his hand out. “The takoyaki stand is still open! Wanna go?”
Lev looked at him, extending that lifeline, for a moment as if taking a mental snapshot, before he finally cracked a smile. “Yeah. I wanna go.”
He took Morisuke’s hand and pulled him in again first.
The kiss held a taint of the sadness that had drowned the alpha only a few moments prior, but even that melted away. Morisuke broke it and nuzzled their forehands together.
Lev spoke. “It’s not a goodbye kiss, obviously. We’re still going to the takoyaki stand.”
“Yeah, of course we are. And we can go again tomorrow if you’d like!”
“I think I’ll be ok by then…but I’ll let you know.”
They headed off down the sidewalk hand in hand, with Morisuke filling more of the silence than usual and Lev listening a lot more than he typically did.
It was a shift in their dynamic that would last only the duration of the day, and by the next morning, Morisuke would be grumbling and getting dragged along by Lev’s bounding steps to get to the gym bright and early and practice extra before everyone else.
But just for tonight, they’d trade off their roles.
So Lev could find a bit of comfort, after all.