Chapter Text
Sometimes we gotta lean
Lean on someone else
To get a little help
Until we find our way
I believe
I believe that we're just one dream
Away from who we're meant to be
That we're standing on the edge of
Something big, something crazy
Our best days are yet unknown
That this moment is ours to own
'Cause we're standing on the edge of great
“Julie, are you packed?” The voice of Julie’s dad came through the door of her bedroom.
“Almost!” Julie called back. It was a lie. She was currently lying on her back on her bed staring at her ceiling. What did a person pack to go on tour with Panic! At The Disco? This was what she needed Flynn for, but Flynn was stuck at home for “family time” since they were leaving later that night.
“Are you lying to my face?” her dad asked. The knob on her door twisted, and then his face poked into her room.
“Well I wasn’t,” Julie said, sitting up, “until you stuck your face in here.” He rolled his eyes at her. It wasn’t like he could get mad at her since she was leaving for eight weeks that night. He couldn’t ground her or anything, and he wouldn’t stop her from going.
“You need to pack, mija ,” he said gently. “That bus is leaving in the morning whether you’re ready or not. And while I’d much rather you be staying here-”
“It’s a great opportunity,” Julie said with a smile. “I know. And I’m going, don’t even think about keeping me here!”
Her dad winked at her before shutting the door behind him with a deciding click. Julie flopped back down on her bed, huffing out a harsh breath. She got another thirty seconds of peace before there was another knock on the door. This better be good .
“Come in,” she called. Julie closed her eyes for a second and then her mattress was dipping with the weight of another body. “You’re so bony,” she complained almost immediately. “Get your knee away from me.”
Alex snorted beside her. “Get yourself away from my knee,” he said, but he moved his knee anyways. “What tornado went off in here?”
“My closet,” Julie groaned. “Flynn isn’t allowed to come over today and I have no clue what to pack.”
“Want help?” asked Alex.
“ Please ,” groaned Julie.
They sat up in a tandem movement. Alex dropped to his knees on the floor, beginning the process of sorting through her stuff. Julie leaned off the edge of her bed to watch.
“Hear anything from Willie?” Julie asked when Alex handed her a couple shirts to put into her suitcase. Alex just shrugged in response.
Alex and Willie had, quite frankly, been through it. Julie didn’t know too much about Willie’s past - Wille and Alex had already been dating when they had met at school and formed the band earlier that year. She knew Willie lived with their foster dad, Caleb, who was incredibly strict. He didn’t like that Willie was gay or nonbinary but Willie had already been out when Caleb got guardianship, so there was no hiding it. Caleb had tolerated Alex before, but now that they had formed the band Caleb seemed to hate Alex.
And then Alex - he and Willie had dated in sort-of secret for a while. Like, everyone knew except Alex’s parents sort of secret. But after their first couple gigs at school, when they had started to get internet famous, it became harder for Alex to hide from his parents. So he had come out with the whole band there and - well, he lived with Julie now. Which was weird at first. But Carlos loved him and it was nice to have someone around that felt sort of like an older brother.
“Willie asked Caleb again if they could come,” Alex said into the silence. “And I haven’t heard from them since. Caleb probably took their phone.”
Julie ruffled Alex’s hair. “It’ll be okay. I’ll miss having them with us, though.”
“Yeah,” Alex said. “Have you heard from Luke? Is he coming for dinner?”
Julie shook her head. “You know what his parents are like. Probably put together a PowerPoint presentation on why he shouldn’t go. They only said yes because my dad did.”
“Yeah,” Alex said softly. “Hey - do you want to see if there’s any of your mom’s stuff you could bring?”
Julie sat up, startled for a moment. “Yeah, actually,” she said. “I’d like that.”
They spent the rest of the afternoon going through all the clothes Julie could possibly need until her suitcase was packed. When Reggie arrived for dinner, Julie was virtually done putting things together. Alex, anxious that he was, had been done for weeks - although he kept unpacking and repacking because he was paranoid something was missing.
“Are you even packed, Reg?” Julie asked when Reggie had entered her room and promptly declared it a disaster.
“Obviously,” Reggie said, giving her one of his amused looks. “I wouldn’t be able to enjoy dinner properly if I was still worried about packing.”
Alex snorted and Julie hid a giggle behind her hand. “Of course it’s about the food,” Alex said. Julie stretched and hauled herself off her bed while Reggie extended a hand to Alex to help him off the floor.
“What else would I be excited about?” Reggie asked.
“Gee, I dunno, Reg,” Julie said. “Maybe the giant tour we’re going on?”
“Oh,” Reggie smiled sheepishly and threw an arm around each of them - which was nice, but it made getting through the door to Julie’s room almost painful. “Well, I’m excited about that. But Ray is barbecuing ribs today. That’s more than enough reason to be excited!”
“The man is right,” came the voice of Carlos. Julie’s little brother bounded down the stairs after them, nearly toppling Reggie by jumping on his back. “Ribs are a great reason to be excited.”
It was Julie’s turn to snort while Reggie and Alex shook Carlos off of them. Reggie still didn’t let go of Julie. “He doesn’t even cook like this normally. Spaghetti every night of the week unless Reggie comes over.”
“It’s true,” Alex said mournfully. “I used to like spaghetti. Not anymore.”
Carlos laughed and nearly jostled their group over again, this time trying to force his way between Alex and Reggie. He succeeded and their group of three became four.
“There’s my favourite child!” Julie’s dad exclaimed when they had finally maneuvered their way onto the back patio. It was no small feat since Reggie literally refused to let go of Julie and Alex and Carlos was hanging on tightly to the two boys.
“You can’t pick favourite kids, dad,” Julie said, but she exchanged an amused look with Alex when her dad’s back was turned.
“Sure I can,” her dad said. “There’s Reggie, my favourite because he likes my cooking, and then there’s the three kids that live with me. The rest of you are all equal.”
“See?” Reggie asked. “We get each other.”
“Whatever Reg,” Julie said, disentangling her arm from him to pinch him in the side.
Dinner wasn’t long, for all the preparation Julie’s dad had put into it. Reggie’s parents didn’t want him out for too long before he left. Reggie would normally argue, or stay out just to avoid them, but it seemed like he didn’t care as much since he wouldn’t have to see them for the next eight weeks. All the boys, really, had complex relationships with their parents. It was one of the reasons why Julie’s dad had been so quick to accept the band when they’d gotten together. First, he’d seen what it had done for Julie. Then he’d seen the different ways each of the boys needed him.
After saying goodbye to Reggie, the next couple hours took on that strange fast-slow feeling that goodbyes usually had. Alex was high strung, nervous about leaving and the tour and Willie, so Julie spent most of her time up in his room trying to calm him. Then they were leaving, and Julie barely had time to say goodbye to Carlos before she and Alex were being ushered into the car by Julie’s dad. Julie sent Luke another quick text on the way - Alex hadn’t heard from him that evening, either, and she was starting to feel anxious about it.
U okay? <3
A response came back almost immediately.
No, I’m bored :( been here for 30mins. You and A on your way?
Julie nudged Alex and showed him the texts. “I’m gonna kill him for not responding sooner,” Alex said, but some of the tension left his body and he leaned into the back of the front seat in a way that he hadn’t been able to since they left the house.
“Heard from Luke?” Julie’s dad asked.
“Yeah,” Julie said. “He’s there already.”
Julie nudged Alex and pointed to his phone. Once she was satisfied he understood what she was saying, she pulled hers out to send a text to him.
I think something happened with his parents.
Alex turned to shoot her a confused look and Julie glared back. She loved her dad, but he didn’t need to be involved in anything. Plus, he didn’t know yet that Luke was her boyfriend. If he did know he’d never let her go - or not without him at least. But she - the whole band - had wanted the full experience. Just them, a driver, and the manager given to them by Panic that would organize everything for them for the duration of the tour.
Why?
Alex finally sent back.
Idk. Just worried they had a big fight or something ig. He seems off.
It wasn’t that it was out of character for Luke necessarily - sometimes he went a little bit too long without answering texts, but usually he apologized. And he always remembered to respond to dinner requests, and he never ignored texts from Julie’s dad.
Awwwww. Worried abt ur bf from one text.
Came Alex’s text back to her.
Shut up.
She texted back. She could see his smirk through the rear-view mirror. Instead, she sent a text to Reggie.
U almost there? Luke seems weird.
His text came back almost immediately.
Dad was an ass. Had to bike.
OMG!! DON’T TEXT ON UR BIKE!! I’ll tell dad and you’ll be in trouble.
She sat up straighter as the car pulled into the parking lot, up to a tour bus with Panic ’s logo on it.
“One day,” Alex said, “That will be our logo.”
Julie’s phone chimed.
Don’t tell Ray :(
Julie let her thumbs hover over the keys as she got out, contemplating what exactly she was going to say to that, when she heard a voice call her name.
“Julie! Alex!” It was Reggie, of course, coasting up to the tour bus on his bike. He had one hand on the handlebars, the other holding his phone. He pulled up and jumped off the bike while it was still moving, leaning it against the tour bus when it actually came to a stop.
“You could’ve asked for a ride,” she said when he approached. Reggie just shrugged and hugged Julie from behind, putting his arms around her shoulders and his chin on her head.
“Didn’t think of it,” he said. She could feel him shrug behind him.
“I thought you were getting a ride?” Julie’s dad asked. He came around the car with Julie’s suitcase in tow, Alex following him with his own suitcase.
“Nah,” Reggie responded. “Decided I wanted to take one last ride on Jeremy.”
“Jeremy?” Alex asked. He looked sort of like he didn’t want to know the answer, but he winked when Julie grinned at him.
“My bike, obviously,” Reggie responded. Julie laughed and leaned back into him. With one hand she pulled her phone back out of her pocket.
Come say bye to my dad.
Luke texted back almost immediately.
Omw.
His face appeared from the open door to the bus moments later. “You guys should see it in there,” he said. He was as animated as he usually was when he spoke, voice carrying the distance between them. She couldn’t really see his eyes through the dark, but she knew how they’d be sparkling with excitement. “Eight bunks, a whole fridge stocked full of snacks and drinks. The drums and keyboard are packed but our guitars are in there for us, too.”
Reggie detached himself from her to drag Alex onto the bus with Luke. Not exactly what Julie had meant by saying goodbye to her dad, but he’d probably want to come in and see what the inside of the bus looked like anyway. Instead of following, she pulled her phone and sent one more text - to Flynn this time.
Where r u????????????
Then, she turned to her dad. “Want to help me bring my suitcase in?”
He looked at her, the tour bus, and back to her.
“You can just say it, Dad. You want to see inside,” Julie said. She tried to look serious, but she could feel the grin splitting her face anyways.
“Yeah,” her dad said, his own grin growing on his face. “I kind of do.”
It wasn’t until they had all said goodbye to her dad and he had driven off with Reggie’s bike in tow that she got a text back from Flynn.
Be there in 2. Don’t leave without me Molina!!
“Flynn’s almost here,” she said to everyone in general. They had thrown all their stuff on one set of bunks. Julie had already claimed the bunk that was furthest from the washroom for herself and Flynn. Reggie had claimed any top bunk and Luke and Alex had both claimed any bottom bunk. Julie took a bottom bunk as well, next to the set of bunks that Luke and Reggie had decided to occupy.
She didn’t have any professional experience, but she knew their bus was much smaller than the bus that Panic had. It was still nice, though. On the other side of the bunk she had picked was a common area with couches and a table, which was where the fridge was and their instruments. Then there were the beds. Hers below Flynn’s, sort of built into the wall as if they were separate beds and just happened to be on top of each other. They also had curtains they could draw across the openings.
Alex had the bunk across the small hallway from her - just the bottom. There was already some extra luggage above him. The bunks across from Luke and Reggie were full with everyone’s things. Everyone except-
“Reggie, did you only bring a backpack?” Luke asked.
Reggie just shrugged. “Well I could only take so much on my bike. I can just borrow your clothes.”
“You can’t!” Luke protested. He smirked at Julie, though, when she caught his eye. Luke and Reggie were close to the same size and shared clothes all the time, anyway.
“As long as no one’s taking my clothes,” Alex said, “I don’t care.”
“No way,” Julie said, kicking at his ankles from across the aisle. “You have a pink sweater with my name on it.”
“I have like, three pink sweaters, and I’m confident that none of them have your name on it,” Alex said mulishly.
“Not yet,” Julie said with a grin.
Alex was kept from responding by a shout at the front of the bus. “Ohhh boy, this place is sweet . Eight weeks in style !”
“Flynn!” Julie squealed.
“Ow,” Alex said to no one in particular, rubbing his ear. Julie ignored him, making her way to the common area of the bus instead and throwing her arms around her best friend.
“I always knew Double Trouble would get a bus like this eventually,” Flynn said with a satisfied sigh. Julie just laughed.
“I still haven’t agreed to that name, you know,” she said.
“You will,” Flynn said confidently. “Now, give me a tour!”
The tour didn’t take very long, given that the tour bus, while fancy, was just what it sounded like - a bus. Julie showed Flynn around quickly, but it was cut off by the rumble of the bus engine and a rap on the door. Without waiting for a response, a lady stepped through. She was a middle-aged white lady with a short haircut, dressed in a sharp blazer and pencil skirt. And heels. Which looked not at all comfortable for the bus ride they were about to be taking.
She looked at Flynn and Julie and pursed her lips. Flynn stepped just slightly closer to Julie and let out a soft huff of breath.
“Where are the boys?” she asked the two girls.
“Uh-” Julie said.
“They’re in the back,” Flynn responded with one of her characteristic fake smiles. “I’ll just get them for you.”
Julie knew what was coming and took a half-step away from Flynn as the other girl let out a holler. “BOYS! GET UP HERE!”
“Thanks, Flynn,” Julie sighed. Flynn just smiled sweetly back.
“Jeez, Flynn, we’re in a one-room bus,” Luke came out first, shooting Flynn a good-natured glare. He paused when he saw the band manager - Julie thought her name was Heather Shelley or something like that, but then he put on his most charming smile. The other boys followed him out slightly more warily.
Julie relaxed a little when Luke came to stand beside her, putting his arm around her shoulders. Reggie and Alex hung back a little, framing Flynn from behind.
“Lovely,” Heather said, although it sounded anything but. “We’ll be departing in the next five minutes. Henry will be your driver. I’ll be following along in the grey crew bus. If you need me, I’ll leave my cell number on the fridge.”
So she wouldn’t be travelling in their bus. Julie’s dad wouldn’t be happy if he heard about the lack of adult supervision, but honestly - Alex was nearly an adult anyways, and in a way it was more comfortable to know there wouldn’t really be any strange adults on their bus. Especially scary-looking Heather.
“The bus will be driving through the night. Remember to get some sleep, but get used to it. We’ll be on the road most nights between shows. Given any pit-stops, we should be arriving at the lot around 7am. You’ll have some time to kill and then soundcheck will start at 3pm sharp.”
Julie reached up and squeezed the hand that Luke had around her shoulders. He looked down at her with a gentle smile, but she could tell that he was barely holding back from bouncing all over the bus with excitement.
“Right,” Heather said, with a clap that made Julie jump. “I’ll see you all there.” She spun and left the bus. There was a moment of silence before Luke broke it.
“WE’RE GOING ON TOUR BOYS!” He shouted - into Julie’s ear, no less. Reggie whooped, making Alex flinch.
“And girls,” Julie added. She raised an eyebrow at Luke, just for good measure.
“And people of unspecified genders!” Flynn added as she threw herself down on one of the couches. The bus jolted and almost threw Julie off her feet as it started to move, she stayed steady only because of Luke’s arm around her. She shook Luke’s arm off her so she could go sit down beside Flynn, stopping to help Reggie up on the way. Clearly not everyone was so steady on their feet.
“There’s...no one of unspecified genders here. Is there?” Alex asked. He was still standing and was also looking very confused.
“It’s an honourary Willie shoutout,” Reggie said solemnly. “They’re here in spirit.”
Flynn rolled her eyes at Reggie. “Actually, just because someone hasn’t experimented with their gender yet doesn’t mean they truly are the gender they’re presenting as, or even think they are, right now. That’s what I meant.” She leaned back, satisfied, with a wink at Julie.
“Actually,” Alex said. “Is it that they aren’t the gender they think they are, or is someone the gender they were born as until they find another gender? Is it really that rigid?”
Flynn wrinkled her nose at him. “Gender is inherent ,” she said. Alex and Flynn had this argument at least once per week. Not argument, really, Julie corrected herself - discussion. At first it was interesting. But after the first six or so times that it happened, it had sort of lost its novelty. Mostly, Julie was impressed. Flynn had started using she and they pronouns, but hadn’t been ready to come out to the band yet. Every time Flynn and Alex had this conversation, Julie was sure Flynn would cave and let their gender slip. But she never did.
Instead, Julie got up from where she was sitting and dropped down on the couch on the other side of the bus, right in-between Reggie and Luke.
“We were having a moment,” Reggie said, almost immediately.
Luke rolled his eyes but he grinned as well. “Yeah, Julie, read the room.”
“Sorry I got in the way of your boy crushes,” Julie quipped. She turned to Luke and looked him up and down. “Maybe I want a moment with Reggie.”
Luke just laughed. It was one of the things she liked about him - he never got jealous. Also, she was almost certain he had a thing for Reggie. It didn’t really bug her, she liked Reg a lot, too. But Luke hadn’t realized yet and she and Flynn had decided not to intervene. She was pretty sure Luke didn’t even realize he liked boys, even though everyone else around him knew. He’d find out eventually, though. All in his own time.
“Have your Reggie moment, then,” Luke said. “But I want to be included.”
Julie snorted.
“Do I even get a say in this?” Reggie asked.
“Nah,” Luke said at the same time Julie said “Nope,” popping her p .
Reggie looked between them for a moment, then shrugged. “Fine with me.”
Silence overtook them for a moment, only the good-natured bickering of Flynn and Alex in the background. Luke broke the silence first. “I’m worried about Alex,” he said.
“Sure you’re not projecting?” asked Julie.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Luke’s eyes sparked with annoyance. That was one thing Julie liked about Luke - one amongst many - he was easy to read. He wore his heart on his sleeve and he wasn’t ashamed of it.
Instead of answering, she shifted in her seat so she could put her head in Luke’s lap and her feet in Reggie’s. Luke immediately began playing with her hair - almost an idle, mindless gesture.
“Just - you sort of went MIA,” Julie said after a moment.
“We’re all a little worried about you,” Reggie said. He raised his hands in an I surrender sort of gesture when Julie turned her eyes on him.
“Don’t even get me started, Mr I-was-at-your-house-right-before-we-left-and-rode-my-bike-instead-of-acceping-a-ride,” Julie said. She lifted her head so she could raise her eyebrows at Reggie. He just smiled sheepishly back at her.
“Look,” Luke said. “We’re on a tour bus driving across the Western US. Who cares about parents right now, man.” He gently tugged on a lock of Julie’s hair. “This is going to be awesome. We just need to enjoy it.”
“Don’t think you’re getting out of this,” she said, waving a mock finger at him. “But you’re right. This is going to be amazing.”
“Do you think they’ll let us surf in San Francisco?” Reggie asked suddenly. He had that far-away look on his face, like his body was here, but his brain was miles away.
“You know how to surf?” Luke asked. He looked shocked, and Julie couldn’t blame him. Reggie wasn’t the most...coordinated person there was.
“No,” Reggie said brightly, “but I’d love to learn.”
Luke gave him a look over top of Julie. She took the opportunity to poke him in the jaw, just because she could. He swatted her hand away. “We won’t have time to learn to surf, man. It’ll be arrival, soundcheck, dinner, show, sleep and repeat before we’re back on the bus.”
Reggie looked so disappointed that Julie wanted to give him a hug. She didn’t, though, because that would require sitting up and moving away from Luke, which she really didn’t want to do. Weeks of avoiding getting too close to him in front of her dad had taken their toll, honestly.
“When we’re back in LA I promise we’ll find time to go surfing, Reg,” she said. “It could be fun.”
Luke leaned down to her ear. “You hate water,” he whispered. She whacked him in the chest in response.
“Shush. Look at his face!” Luke just shook his head and brushed a kiss to her forehead.
It was going to be an excellent eight weeks.