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Apollo’s knees nearly collapsed in relief once the Judge finally banged his gavel a second time and said “Court dismissed!” Finally. That trial had dragged on and on and on, but he’d successfully proved his client innocent and now it was time to escape. He fled the courtroom before any new evidence or witnesses could pop out of thin air. (That had happened three times already. Well, they were all before the judge had declared his verdict, so it probably wouldn’t happen again, but Apollo wasn’t taking any chances.)
“You’re okay after all that, right?” Apollo asked his client, who nodded and thanked him for his hard work before leaving, at a bailiff’s request, to finish signing some paperwork granting her freedom.
“Good job in there, Herr Forehead.” Klavier looked just as exhausted yet blissfully relieved as Apollo did. “I was afraid that trial would never end.”
“Same here, honestly. I can’t tell if I want to take a nap or run a victory lap. Maybe both at the same time.” Apollo grinned as Klavier let out a laugh at his weak joke.
“Instead of a victory lap, how about a victory dinner? Allow me to treat you, Herr Forehead. I think we both deserve some fun after that.”
Wincing, Apollo imagined Klavier’s idea of dinner. It probably involved three or four different forks, food that Apollo had never heard of, and a hefty bill. “Uh, no thanks, Prosecutor Gavin. I really just want to go home and go to sleep.”
“Ah, a reasonable reaction to that mess of a trial.” Klavier laughed easily. Huh. Apollo thought he would be more upset about being turned down. “But you did hold up pretty well in there.”
Apollo raised his hand up and half heartedly pumped his fist in a self-congratulatory manner. “I lived.”
“You did. Congratulations,” Klavier said, poorly hiding a yawn. “Ah, that wasn’t meant to be sarcastic. A lesser lawyer wouldn’t have been able to handle that trial.”
“Careful there, Prosecutor Gavin. You’re getting pretty close to actually calling me a good lawyer.”
“Am I?” Klavier raised an eyebrow. “Hm, I suppose I might as well just say it: you’re a good lawyer-”
Oh.
“-just nowhere near as good as me,” Klavier finished.
“Hey!” Apollo swatted Klavier with the folder he was holding, making Klavier laugh. “You know what? I can be annoying, too. Since we’re both ‘good lawyers,’ I can’t accept your claim without evidence.”
“Oh? I suppose I can’t now, can I?”
“Nope. For all we know, I could be a better lawyer than you.” Apollo smirked. Of course, there was no way he actually was a better lawyer than Klavier, but that wasn’t the point.
“I can’t believe it.” Klavier held a hand to his heart dramatically. “I’ve been outsmarted!”
“That’s right.”
“Woe is me!”
“That’s a bit much.”
“Everything I do is a bit much, Herr Forehead. Just be glad I’m allowing you to win this one.” Before Apollo could snark back with some point about how he’d won all the trials they’d had together, Klavier went on. “Whoops. I’ve spent too long having fun here. I’d better be getting back to the office. I have other cases to deal with, and you have your bed to get to. Have a good day, Herr Forehead.”
Apollo grimaced. If he had to keep working right now, he’d probably die. “Oh, uh, you too. Good luck…?”
Watching pitifully busy Klavier walk away, Apollo quickly decided not to tell him that more than likely, Apollo would be passing out on his couch rather than his bed. It was just so much closer and Apollo was feeling far too lazy to walk that extra ten feet.
Apollo’s prediction ended up being correct, and he woke up with a sore back. Feeling more seventy two than twenty two, Apollo spent his entire morning at work considering moving his bed into his living room rather than doing any actual work. In his defense, he didn’t have any clients, which he blamed on Trucy’s poor advertising and Trucy blamed on his unwillingness to go out and hunt down clients. She gave no details about how to do just that other than “do the footwork, Polly!” Apollo supposed she wanted him to chase down police cars in case they were investigating a crime, but he was pretty sure that was a crime itself. Not to mention his bike couldn’t keep up with a car no matter how hard he pedaled.
“Then you could… you could stake out the detention center?” Trucy suggested halfheartedly.
“And get yelled at by the guards?”
“Coward.”
“Do you really want to go get in a fight with someone holding a gun, Trucy? Actually nope, no, you’re not answering that, because I know you’re going to say something ‘funny’ that makes me worry about your self-preservation instincts.”
“Your loss, Polly.” Trucy shrugged and returned to her homework. “It was really funny, too.”
Apollo wasn’t falling for it. No, he was going to put his head on his desk and probably fall asleep. He just finished a trial, and he was never lucky enough to get a client for at least another week. Might as well spend that time napping, especially if Trucy was being silent for once. His eyelids fluttered shut, and…
What’s new Scooby Doo? We’re coming after you…
“Polly, I think your phone is ringing.”
“You don’t say,” Apollo said dryly as he clumsily pulled his phone from his pocket, still refusing to take his head off the desk. Once he saw the name on his screen, he straightened up. Det. Skye. Trucy probably thought she was funny, choosing that ringtone for her. Who knew how many others she changed along with it? No, that was a problem for later. Ema only called about business matters, so this had to be important. (If Ema wanted to complain, she would simply text Apollo, which she certainly did a lot.)
“Ema?”
“Oh, good, you picked up. Listen, Apollo, if you’re free, I need you to get to the prosecutor’s office like, ten minutes ago.” Ema spoke at a relaxed pace, making Apollo wonder if her request was as time-sensitive as she said it was. Well, he wasn’t going to question her on that. If it was urgent, she’d bite his head off later.
“Alright. On my way. What’s going on?” Apollo gathered his things and sent a quick wave to Trucy, who looked mournfully down at her unfinished homework before waving back.
“I’ll explain once you get here. Can you meet me in Gavin’s office?”
“Got it. See you then.”
That should have been Apollo’s first sign that something was wrong. Ema would never willingly meet up with him in Klavier’s office. Even if the business in question involved Klavier, she would wait for Apollo somewhere else and then walk with him to Klavier’s office to reduce her level of exposure to the fop. And yet somehow, Apollo had missed it.
But he didn’t miss the next sign: Ema’s and Klavier’s almost unnaturally large smiles, both of which were directed at him as soon as the door swung open. Okay, Klavier had a thing for smiling almost nonstop, but Ema? Something was either horribly wrong or horribly right, and the way Apollo’s life had been going, he was pretty sure he knew which it was this time.
“Uh. Hi, guys.”
“Why, hello, Herr Forehead.”
The door behind Apollo swung shut, and he whirled around to see Ema suddenly behind him with her hand on the knob, grinning at him like the Cheshire Cat.
“So, Apollo, glad you’re here. We have an idea.”
Apollo hated ideas.
“See, remember the conversation you and I had yesterday?” Klavier continued where Ema left off, paying no attention to the dismay on Apollo’s face.
“You mean, the trial?”
“After the trial,” Klavier said. “We were talking about who the better lawyer is, and you made a very interesting claim.”
Oh no. “Did I? I think I just said that you needed to provide evidence if you were going to call yourself the better lawyer,” Apollo lied. He had claimed that he could be a better lawyer than Klavier, hadn’t he?
“Ja, I do remember that. And I was thinking, I should prove my words true, shouldn’t I?”
… Where exactly was Klavier going with that? He couldn’t possibly have been talking about the previous cases they’ve held together. Apollo won all of them. (Sure, he had a bit of help, but he won them in the end.)
Ema popped up back next to Klavier. “And what better way than with a game?”
“A game?” Apollo repeated, so distracted by his disbelief that he barely paid any notice to how weirdly in sync Ema and Klavier were.
“A game.” Klavier nodded. “Detective, please explain the rules.”
The rules were simple: the two of them would have a set period of time, and during that time, their actions during a trial would be judged and given scores by an unbiased party. Important discoveries and deductions would be worth more points, smaller things would be worth less. And whoever had the most points at the end of that period of time would be declared the better lawyer.
Time to cross-examine.
“Who would this unbiased party be?” Apollo challenged. “Who could you possibly trust to be completely unbiased?”
“His Honor himself, the judge. Or do you not trust his judgment?” Klavier grinned at Apollo’s scowl. He’d probably been waiting for that. Apollo could probably argue something about unconscious bias, but there was no way that could end well.
“How long would this period of time be?”
“I was thinking maybe three trials, plus a practice trial.” Ema answered this time. “Just long enough that any irregularities in the data wouldn’t cause too much of a problem, I think. In case one of you has an off day or something. I wanted it to be a bit longer, but Herr Edgeworth doesn’t want this to distract us too much.”
“But... what if it does disrupt our work?”
“Herr Edgeworth says that so long as we reach the truth in every trial, he doesn’t mind our shenanigans.”
Apollo was quickly running out of testimony to press. “Will we give the judge any particular outlines on how to score us? Or are we just going to let him do as he pleases?”
“I think it should be up to the judge to decide how many points each of our moves gets. He is the judge, after all.”
“What if we make a wrong deduction or something? Would we get points taken off?”
“Nein, nein. That would discourage progress for fear of failure. Points cannot be taken away, even if it is later proven that something was incorrect.”
Damn. Apollo couldn’t even complain about that. How much had they thought this through? He gnashed his teeth. He didn’t even think that was a thing that people did.
“Well, Herr Forehead,” Klavier put his hands on his hips and leaned down to put his infuriating smile directly in Apollo’s line of vision, “any more questions?”
“Why? Like, why do you even want to do this?” Just to make a fool out of Apollo, probably.
“Eh? Because I think it would be fun!”
“... Fun?”
“Ja, fun. Nothing like a little bit of competition, am I right? Besides, I think this could push both of us to do our very best, and I’d like to see just what you’re made of.”
… Hm. There was definitely a hint of condescension in that last bit, but the rest of Klavier’s claim actually seemed genuine. Was he really just trying to have fun? Not embarrass Apollo?
“Okay, why are you getting involved, then?” Apollo directed at Ema.
“I just figure it’ll be hilarious watching one of you two lose,” Ema laid out her rather unnoble intentions without a hint of shame. “Oh, but I am rooting for you, Apollo.”
Well, Ema apparently wasn’t just trying to embarrass Apollo. Not specifically, at least, although that was definitely more motivated by her dislike of Klavier than her caring about Apollo. Either way… it didn’t seem like either Klavier or Ema were doing this for particularly malicious reasons.
What the hell. Klavier had never treated their trials together as a competition so much as a collaboration. It might be fun to see what it’s like to actually kick his ass. Maybe make him frown and argue that he should have won instead of just grinning away and congratulating Apollo. Klavier was always so cool and calm… Apollo always did want to get the upper hand.
“Alright. I’m in.” Apollo nodded as professionally as he could, as though he wasn’t just imagining what kind of an upset face Klavier would make after losing.
“Fantastic!”
“Hell yeah.”
“Herr Forehead, I was thinking,” Klavier tapped his chin, “why not make this interesting?”
“Nope. No way.”
“You didn’t even hear what I had to say!” Klavier whined, and Apollo just shrugged. He wasn’t stupid enough to make a bet with Klavier.
Probably.
“Just hear the fop out,” Ema advised. “He can be very annoying when he wants to be.”
“More annoying than usual?”
“Yep.”
Klavier scowled at Ema and Apollo’s exchange. “Anyways, my idea was probably much less serious than you two are imagining. I wouldn’t be so crude as to bet money.”
...Fine. Apollo could at least hear Klavier’s idea. “Shoot, then.”
Triumphant, Klavier grinned. “I was just thinking… you remember that little victory dinner you turned down yesterday? If I win, then you have to go on a victory dinner for me.”
“So you can gloat?” Apollo squinted at him suspiciously. “Because you do that all the time anyways.”
“I’m wounded, Herr Forehead! Maybe I just want to spend time with you.”
“Uh-huh. Well, what do I get if I win?”
“That’s for you to decide. Within reason, of course.”
Within reason. Apollo could be reasonable. He could be very reasonable. Telling Klavier that he would have to shave his head if he lost was very reasonable, right?
On second thought, if Klavier made that the terms of his side of the bet, Apollo actually would have bitten him. Something else, then. Maybe having Klavier dye his hair green? No, Klavier’s fans would probably kill Apollo for that. Having Klavier dye his hair purple? No, Klavier would enjoy that too much.
...Apollo really needed to get off the subject of Klavier’s hair.
“I’ve never seen you think this much in court before,” Klavier remarked.
“I’ve never seen you think at all.”
“So cruel today!” Klavier dramatically clasped a hand to his heart, and Apollo took that as his sign to ignore every word that came out of Klavier’s mouth.
Five minutes of very pointedly ignoring Klavier later, Apollo finally thought of something. And yes, each and every one of those minutes were necessary. He might never get a chance like this again, and he didn’t want to waste it on something stupid.
“If I win,” Apollo started, “you can never say ‘Achtung baby’ during a trial or investigation with me ever again.”
“You fiend! You monster!” Klavier once again held his hand to his heart as he stifled a giggle. Ah. He was mocking Apollo. Of course.
“Alright, so you think it’s hilarious. You up for it, then?”
“I suppose I could risk it, if you insist.”
After only a minor amount of teasing back and forth, the three of them hashed out a few more details; Apollo and Klavier were lawyers, after all, and they loved nothing more than unnecessary rules and trying to find hidden loopholes. Ema, on the other hand, did not, so she just sat back while Klavier and Apollo continued talking. The entire time, Klavier kept a bright smile on his face. Apollo almost felt bad for having such a bitter motive when Klavier was clearly looking forward to it, but it was easy enough to paste a neutral expression on his face. Getting the best of Klavier would take every advantage he could get his hands on. Once Klavier let his guard down, Apollo would charge ahead, full throttle, full speed. Whatever those car words were. And he would do everything he could to win.
Apollo grinned. This might actually be fun.
Two hours later, Apollo was back at the agency with his head on his desk, bemoaning his stupidity. “Trucy, if I asked you to kill me, would you?”
“Depends.”
“On what?”
“A lot of things. First off, why do you want me to kill you?”
Apollo groaned. He would have to tell Trucy about the competition sometime. Better to just rip the bandaid off now. “Prosecutor Gavin challenged me to a competition to see who the better lawyer is.”
“And?”
“And I agreed.”
A sympathetic hand patted Apollo’s back. “Your butt is toast. Sorry, Polly.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“Anytime.” That sympathetic hand suddenly turned into a sharp finger jabbing him.
“Ow!”
“Anyways, if you’re done throwing yourself a pity party, I think you should get started planning. You need a strategy!”
Apollo turned to give Trucy a miserable look. “Or I could just not try at all and then it would be less embarrassing when I lose.”
Trucy tutted at him. She actually shook her head and said “Tut, tut.” Unbelievable. And she didn’t even give Apollo any time to tell her to knock it off. “Those are the words of a quitter, Polly. A lame loser of a quitter who I’m going to tease forever if he doesn’t try harder. And Mr. Gavin will probably tease you forever, too.”
“Ugh. I hate it when you’re right.”
“So you admit that you’re a loser?” Trucy sprung without hesitation, and Apollo waved a hand in her face until she backed away, pouting.
“I was talking about Prosecutor Gavin insulting me forever, and you know that.”
“Yeah, I did know that.” Trucy grinned. “So, are you in?”
Apollo slouched back down in his chair. “Get back to me in five to seven business days. I need time to think.”
“But what if you get a client?”
“I just finished up a trial. I won’t be getting another client for at least another week or two.”
The next morning, Apollo found himself staring down a very smug Trucy in the defense lobby. Normally, he’d be absolutely ecstatic to have another case so soon, but dammit. He just wanted some time to figure out if it was worth it to just call the bet off and endure Klavier’s eternal teasing.
“So, Polly?”
Apollo groaned. “No, I haven’t figured out what I want to do yet. Yes, you were right.”
“Say that I’m always right and I’ll help you out.” Trucy bounced from one leg to the other. Was Apollo’s misery really that entertaining?
“No.”
“I’ll help you out anyways.”
“Oh no.”
“First up!” Trucy, now donning her showman smile, pointed a finger right in Apollo’s face. “We need to get you in fighting form. Of course, there’s no way we can review all that law school junk in the five minutes before the trial starts, so instead, we’ll just get you motivated. Motivation is a very good substitute for skill.”
Apollo was pretty sure that wasn’t true.
“Now, Polly, say it with me: ‘I’m Apollo Justice and I’m motivated!’”
Apollo was definitely sure that wasn’t true.
“I’m Apollo Justice and I’m motivated,” Apollo said with as little enthusiasm as possible.
Trucy smacked him with a magic wand that she hadn’t been holding a second ago. “Come on, Apollo. Why are you acting like this is such a big deal? You said Mr. Gavin thought it was just a fun game, right? I bet he isn’t being all miserable over this.”
“Yeah, that’s because Prosecutor Gavin has confidence. Too much confidence, if you ask me.”
“That’s it!” Trucy smacked him with the wand again, seemingly out of excitement rather than annoyance. Sheepishly grinning, she tucked the wand away before Apollo could snatch it from her. “You know the story of the tortoise and the hare? You gotta do something like that! Since Klavier is so confident, he won’t take this competition seriously. When he isn’t expecting it, that’s when you strike with everything you have!”
“I don’t think that’s how the story goes… but that might actually work.”
“Of course it will.” Trucy smiled. “Like I said, I’m always right.”
It was then that Apollo’s client arrived, distracting them from any further discussion of the competition. Of course, even as Apollo assured his client that the trial was in the bag, he continued thinking about the competition. Klavier had only challenged him because he thought he was sure to win, and if Klavier let himself relax because of that, then Apollo would be able to win. Or, at the very least, lose by only a small amount of points.
That was right. Apollo had one goal, and one goal only: to avoid completely humiliating himself. It would take everything he had. Maybe more.
He took a deep breath in preparation before he marched through the courtroom doors.
“Herr Forehead!” Klavier, waving eagerly at him from the other side of the courtroom, evidently did not seem to be taking it nearly as seriously as Apollo. That worked perfectly for Apollo’s plan, but still… It bothered him how lightly Klavier was acting. Apollo gritted his teeth as he marched behind the bench. He changed his mind about his one goal. Today, Apollo’s only goal was to prove to Klavier that he was a force to be reckoned with.
“Polly, why does your face look like you’re sucking on a lemon?”
Apollo dearly hoped that Klavier was doubled over in laughter over something else.
The trial today was to be a practice run rather than a part of the actual game, just to make sure that they could actually partake in the competition without getting so distracted that they forget about the trial. (This was by Ema’s request, as she claimed that she didn’t trust either Apollo or Klavier one bit when it came to competing, and based on the way neither of them argued about it, she probably had a point.) Because of that, the trial proceeded… much more normally than Apollo would have expected.
Klavier treated it as though it were any other trial, simply joking and flirting at every possible moment, ignoring Apollo’s occasional aggression. At least once or twice, Klavier actually laughed whenever Apollo managed to turn things around. “Jerk,” Apollo grumbled occasionally to Klavier’s increased delight.
“He’s just trying to get under your skin, you know,” Trucy said, patting Apollo’s shoulder sympathetically.
“I know. That doesn’t make it any less aggravating.”
Soon enough, the trial was ending, and Apollo’s client was being declared innocent, to his relief. He glanced down at his notepad. According to his calculations, he probably should have gotten more points than Klavier. Apollo guessed that he had about twelve points, and Klavier should have about nine, but it all depended on how generous the judge was feeling with his definition of “important.” He tried to think back to which observations were made by which lawyer- had he made the most important points? Or had Klavier? In addition, there was still the importance of each individual observation to take into account. And was the judge counting points for presenting evidence? Ema had briefly brought that up, but nothing had been confirmed. The judge’s scoring system was a mystery. Apollo chewed on his pencil’s eraser in thought.
“If Herr Forehead is done attempting to eat his pencil,” Klavier broke into his thoughts, “Herr Judge, you are aware of our little competition. You have been keeping track of our scores, ja?”
“Oh!” The judge straightened up and donned his reading glasses before picking up a piece of paper and staring down at it. “Yes, Prosecutor Gavin, you got eleven points, while Mr. Justice got fifteen. An exciting beginning! I thought Prosecutor Gavin would win, if I’m being honest. Congratulations, Mr. Justice!”
“Uh, thanks, Your Honor.” Apollo couldn’t even be mad at the judge. Before the trial started, he definitely thought Klavier would win, too. Besides, who cared about that? He won!
“Good show, Herr Forehead!” Klavier grinned just as obnoxiously as he had the entire trial. “Very impressive. But this is just a practice run, you remember?”
Apollo remembered. Apollo also did not care.
“Ah, and before you begin your bragging, may I ask you to check your email?”
Trucy tapped Apollo’s arm. “He’s got something up his sleeve, Polly.”
“Of course he does.” Apollo, grumbling, pulled his phone from his pocket and checked his inbox using his very limited amount of data. Klavier had sent Apollo an email just five minutes ago- before the judge announced their scores- consisting of only two numbers: “15,11”.
“Hey! How did you- what?” Apollo looked back down at his own incorrect points count in his notebook. “You didn’t- did you two plan this?!” He looked accusingly at a grinning Klavier, and then at an utterly confused judge. Right. The judge wouldn’t do that. Then Klavier had to… Apollo checked the email again. It was definitely sent before their results were announced, and there wasn’t any way for Klavier to edit the email after it was sent. Maybe Klavier had guessed? No, he wouldn’t have sent it to Apollo if it was a guess, or even a good estimation. Klavier was far too much of a perfectionist for that. He wouldn’t risk embarrassing himself.
Apollo would, though!
“You just guessed,” he said, knowing full well that he was wrong.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Herr Forehead.” With a wink and a nod, Klavier disappeared from the courtroom, leaving Apollo to gnash his teeth in confusion and annoyance. He grumbled as he shoved all of his evidence in his backpack, and grumbled some more as he left the courtroom, not looking back in case the judge felt like asking questions about whatever had gone down. As soon as he was in the defense lobby, a sharp yank on his backpack made him stumble.
“Polly! I was trying to get your attention.” Trucy put her hands on her hips, mouth curled up in a small pout.
“Sorry, Truce. What’s up?”
“I know how Klavier did his trick!” She grinned.
“You do? Ho-”
“And I’ll only tell you if you say ‘pretty pretty please, Princess Trucy, tell me your secrets.’”
Sometimes Apollo thought he was only put on this earth to embarrass himself for the sake of everyone else’s entertainment. And sometimes, he knew it. It was a sad sign of Apollo’s life that he considered this moment to fall into the first category.
“Pretty pretty please, Princess Trucy, tell me your secrets,” Apollo repeated without any hesitation.
“I really thought it would be harder to convince you. Sorry your life is like this.” Trucy patted him on the arm. “Anyways, it was easy. The judge was counting his points on that sheet of paper. Every time he made a little tally mark, Klavier made a little tally mark in his notes, too. I watched him do it the entire trial.”
Oh.
“Easy peasy,” Trucy continued.
“Yes, thank you, Trucy, I got that. I should have noticed it, right?”
“Yep.”
Well, now Apollo felt good about himself.
Wait, if Klavier was just counting the judge’s tallies, then he didn’t team up with the judge, and he hadn’t figured out the judge’s scoring system, and he didn’t have any sort of psychic abilities. (Not that Apollo was considering the last possibility.) Plus, the only reason Klavier could possibly have for sending him that email was to psyche him out. Well, it wouldn’t work!
(Anymore.)
“Thanks for telling me that, Trucy.” Apollo lifted her hat and patted her on the head. She scowled as she grabbed the hat back and put it on, releasing a small puff of pink smoke and glitter in the process.
“That’s a bad thing, Polly. You know that, right?” Trucy began dusting the glitter off her shoulders. “He knows how the judge is gonna score this, and you don’t. That’s gonna be a problem. Like, what if the judge thinks presenting new evidence is worth more points than just saying stuff? Then Klavier could try to present all the evidence before you and get all the points.”
Oh.
“Can’t you tell me about the judge’s scoring system? You were paying attention, right?”
“Not that much attention.” Trucy shrugged. “Oh, but I can tell you that the judge puts a little heart over all of his lowercase i’s. It’s adorable. And Klavier writes in cursive.”
“That doesn’t help at all, thanks.”
“Oh, you’re welcome!”
So, Apollo was probably screwed. And it was mostly his fault. (It was entirely his fault, actually, for being so dense, but he refused to admit that. Sure, he didn’t have all that much self-esteem, but he was stubborn as hell and refused to crush that tiny bit of self-esteem he still had hanging around.)
Well, at least he wouldn’t have to worry about the competition until he got another client being prosecuted by Klavier, so he probably had a good few days to relax.
The next day, Apollo found himself, once again, in the courtroom. And the prosecutor for the case was, of course, Klavier.
Apollo really had to keep his thoughts to himself.
This trial was the true beginning of the competition. Apollo had to keep his spirits up and fight with everything he had. There were only three trials, so each and every one of them counted.
“Herr Forehead, you’re quite passionate today, ja?” Klavier grinned at him across the courtroom after Apollo’s thousandth “OBJECTION!” Of course, Apollo ignored him in favor of pointing out the flaw in his reasoning.
But still, Klavier’s behavior seemed… strange. Not strange for Klavier, per se. In fact, Klavier was acting just the same as always. He was completely ignoring Apollo’s ferocity (aside from the occasional comment on it) and going about his day as usual. Was he really underestimating Apollo that much?
Apollo didn’t get much time to think about it, though. The trial was a brief one, and before either of them knew it, the judge was handing down a not guilty verdict and telling them how many points they earned. Apollo won again, having earned 15 points to Klavier’s 14. It wasn’t as big of a difference as yesterday’s trial, Apollo noticed. Had Klavier been working harder to keep up with him? Or had Apollo just lost some of his motivation after yesterday’s disastrous trial?
“Ah, very good job, Herr Forehead!” Klavier commented as soon as their scores were out. “Looks like you got a bit of a leg up on me, ja? Don’t relax too soon, though. I’m determined to win that dinner date with you.”
“Wh-?!” Not wanting to let the enemy know more than necessary, Apollo clamped his mouth shut. A dinner date?! Had Klavier really just called it a dinner date?! It was supposed to be a victory dinner! A dinner date is an entirely different thing. It has the word “date” in it!
Klavier grinned at Apollo’s unfortunately obvious reaction. “I look forward to our next trial.” Just before he left, he had the audacity to wink at Apollo.
It was a good thing Trucy wasn’t there that trial. Not because the flirting made Apollo blush or anything, but because it had, somehow, managed to distract him enough that he stood in that spot behind the defense bench for at least a solid five minutes after the judge banged his gavel. If Trucy had seen that, she’d never let him live it down.
Once back at the agency, Apollo sat down to think. Klavier had called his victory dinner with Apollo a “dinner date,” he flirted with Apollo even more than usual throughout the trial, and he even winked at Apollo as he left.
Apollo, with his head shoved firmly in a couch cushion, came to a horrifying conclusion:
Klavier was trying to seduce him so he would let Klavier win.
Was Klavier trying to get Apollo to be infatuated with him so he would let his guard down during a trial? Or even worse, was Klavier so confident in his… his seducing abilities that he thought he could convince Apollo to outright throw the competition?
It wouldn’t work. It couldn’t work. Apollo was no fool. He stood back up, picked the couch cushion he had his face in, and threw it to the ground to show himself just how determined he was not to fall for Klavier’s act.
(He mentally noted that throwing something at the ground feels incredibly lame when it just bounces off the floor.)
Just based on the timing of the last two trials, Apollo guessed that he would have another client walking in sometime in the next hour, asking him to defend them against Klavier, and he was almost disappointed when he went home that day without a trial lined up. Just because it was nice that he’d gotten to defend so many people. Not because he was actually excited to participate in this whole competition thing.
Luckily, Apollo didn’t need to wait much longer. The next morning, he had two whole clients waiting for him when he got to work at 8 o’clock sharp. And, just as he had guessed, the prosecutor for both cases was Klavier. One case would be the next day, and the other the day after. Apollo wondered if this was how busy Klavier was all the time.
The next day, trial number two started. Apollo clenched his fist as soon as he saw Klavier standing on the other side of the courtroom. He was not going to let Klavier get the best of him. Not today, not in the next trial, and not in the competition as a whole. Every time Klavier opened his mouth to say anything that wasn’t related to the trial, Apollo shot him down immediately.
“Very good job, Her-”
“So, as you can see, there wouldn’t have been any fingerprints on the murder weapon.”
“You inter-”
“So now the question is, what happened between the time the murder weapon was used and the body was found?”
Klavier’s normally very easy going smile slowly morphed into a scowl. Apollo would have felt bad, if he wasn’t just defending himself against Klavier’s wily ways.
After about an hour of Klavier growing steadily more frustrated while Apollo grew more firm in his annoyance, they hit a bit of a snag in their deductions: there was a spot of blood at the scene of the crime that couldn’t be explained by either of their current theories. The judge suggested that it could be entirely unrelated to the murder, but Klavier asked to call a recess anyways, and the judge ended up agreeing that that might be best. Just before Klavier stalked out of the courtroom, he shot a glare at Apollo.
...Having Klavier actually be mad at him was a new phenomenon, and not one that Apollo much enjoyed. He shrank down only a little before leaving the courtroom as well.
And of course, Apollo wasn’t so lucky that Klavier decided to take that time to sit down and cool off in another room. No, Klavier was right there in the defense lobby, clearly waiting for Apollo. One of his feet was tapping out a rhythm that Apollo was annoyed to recognize as one of the Gavinners’ hit singles.
“Apollo, what’s going on?” Klavier asked as soon as Apollo was in earshot. (Apollo had considered running, but that would be infinitely more embarrassing than just talking to Klavier. Probably.)
“What do you mean?”
Klavier’s face darkened. “Wh- You are well aware of what I mean! You wouldn’t let me say two words in there. Are you mad at me for some reason? Have I done something to upset you?”
Oh. Not exactly the guilty reaction Apollo had been expecting. Apollo tried to restructure his thoughts quickly.
“I’m not mad, exactly, I’m just…”
“Just what?”
“Just… trying to make sure we don’t get distracted from the trial,” Apollo finished lamely. That was a lie. He knew it. Klavier knew it. He didn’t even know why he bothered saying that.
“Mm-hmm. So then, I wonder, why aren’t you normally this aggressive in court?”
Apollo remained silent.
“Is this about the competition?” Klavier’s foot stopped tapping, and his face looked a bit less mad. Momentarily, at least. “Listen, if you don’t want to go ahead with the competition, we can end it right here and now and go back to the trial at hand.”
“We can?” Apollo blurted out before he could stop himself.
“Of course. This is just supposed to be a bit of a game between coworkers, right? I don’t want it disturbing our chances of discovering the truth behind this case.”
Oh.
Apollo was, in all likelihood, a fucking idiot.
Of course Klavier “I only seek the truth” Gavin didn’t care that much about the competition. He’d been open with his intentions all this time.
There was only one thing for Apollo to do now: backtrack. Backtrack as quickly as possible. Backtrack so quickly he breaks the fucking sound barrier.
“We don’t need to cancel the competition!”
Klavier covered his ears at Apollo’s voice. Whoops. That was one way to break the sound barrier. Apollo awkwardly paused to regulate his volume a bit before going on.
“I mean, we can keep doing the competition. It’s fine. I was just… in a bit of a bad mood. Or something. But I feel better now! So, let’s just… get back in there and try our best!” Apollo cringed at that last sentence, but Klavier, weirdly enough, smiled.
“You aren’t going to keep interrupting?”
“Erm, no.”
“Then I’m all for it!” Klavier put a hand on Apollo’s shoulder, leaning in just a bit. “As much as I love hearing your voice, I do not appreciate your yelling at me.”
“Understood.”
A few minutes later (Klavier did have to check with forensics regarding the blood), the two were back in the courtroom, and Klavier was smiling just as cheerfully as ever. He began explaining the results of the investigation into the blood, and what it meant for their arguments. Sensing that Klavier could end up earning points for something Apollo had figured out earlier, Apollo intervened to explain his logic.
"-so, my argument is still valid. Uh, right, Prosecutor Gavin?” Apollo shot a glance over to Klavier to make sure that he hadn’t offended him by interrupting his explanation, but Klavier’s smile hadn’t dimmed.
“Indeed, Herr Forehead.”
That was a good sign. Somewhat embarrassed to admit how relieved he felt that Klavier wasn’t harboring any bitter emotions against him, Apollo forced himself to move on with the trial so his thoughts wouldn’t dally about.
The rest of the trial continued as usual. It was a significantly more pleasant experience than the last two trials. Every now and then, Klavier and Apollo found themselves on the same train of thought and managed to finish each other’s sentences. (That might have been embarrassing, but Apollo was busy trying not to snicker as he watched the judge wonder who he was supposed to award points to.)
At the end of the trial, the judge announced their scores: Apollo, 19, and Klavier, 17, so their totals were now 34 and 31, and Apollo was actually in the lead. Apollo was so overjoyed at the news (and, admittedly, how well the trial itself had gone) that he actually waved to Klavier as he left.
“Good luck tomorrow,” Apollo said as he committed the most embarrassing of acts: smiling.
“And you as well.” Klavier smiled back in a much less embarrassing manner. Damn him.
The next morning, Apollo found himself actually looking forward to the trial. He still wasn’t quite sure of his victory, but he did a pretty good job so far, and the case seemed simple enough that neither of them would end up getting too many points.
The case was a murder, of course, because it seemed like Apollo only took on murders. (He’d have to talk to Trucy about how they’d been advertising their legal services.) It was a simple shooting, with the defendant’s fingerprints found on the murder weapon, but the defendant had previously handled the gun when she was considering buying it, and the defendant had been wearing gloves when the murder was committed. There were even photos to prove both of those facts. Apollo just had to point out the contradictions in Klavier’s logic, submit the photos to the court, and have the previous owner of the gun (who Apollo suspected of committing the murder) testify about how it ended up in this case. Simple enough, Apollo thought.
...Until he saw the smirk on Klavier’s face when Apollo entered the courtroom. Klavier had a range of smirks that he liked to use at any given moment, but this one was very familiar. It was the smirk he wore when he tricked Apollo into proving that the culprit of Romein LeTouse’s murder couldn’t have been blind, just seconds before Klavier revealed that Machi Tobaye was not, in fact, blind. It was a smirk Apollo had hoped to never see again.
...Not that Apollo spent a lot of time thinking about Klavier’s facial expressions.
“Ready to rock, Herr Forehead?” Klavier snapped along to the rhythm that seemed to constantly be playing in his head.
“Uh, the defense is ready!”
“Then let’s rock!” the judge said, evidently enjoying the energy in the courtroom. Klavier shot him a hurt look that said “You stole my schtick!” clearer than any mix of English and terrible German ever could, but didn’t say anything about it as he went on to present his opening argument. It was just as Apollo expected: gun, fingerprints, murder. Now Apollo just had to wait for the detective in charge to testify so Apollo could object.
“And, here for a one day only show, Detective Gumshoe! Herr Gumshoe, ready to testify?”
Ah. Gumshoe was in charge of the investigation. That could explain how the gloves went overlooked. Being a fellow employee who was often shat upon, Apollo respected the guy, but he sometimes seemed as though he didn’t know what he was doing.
“Yes, sir!” Gumshoe, treating Klavier with far too much respect in Apollo’s mind, saluted before repeating Klavier’s logic almost word for word. Apollo wondered if they rehearsed this, before promptly slapping himself for thinking the word “rehearsed.” He’d spent too much time around Klavier, clearly.
“Obje-”
“Objection!” Klavier interrupted Apollo. “Herr Gumshoe, you do know about the gloves, don’t you?”
What.
“What?” Apollo and Gumshoe asked simultaneously.
“Oh, my apologies, Herr Forehead,” Klavier said in the least apologetic voice Apollo had ever heard, “but Herr Gumshoe and I decided to investigate this case separately to see what conclusions we would come to on our own, and as it happened, we both realized that the defendant must be the culprit, but there may be some differences in our reasoning.”
A lesser man would have shouted “Bullshit!” at the top of his lungs at Klavier. Luckily, Apollo had some self restraint. (And he was, perhaps, completely caught off guard and temporarily speechless.)
Oh, that sneak. Klavier had set up Gumshoe to fail, just like the time he embarrassed Ema by not telling her that Machi wasn’t truly blind. Apollo gnashed his teeth and clenched his fists and tried not to yell at Klavier.
“Er, yeah, I thought we were on the same page here, sir,” Gumshoe said, evidently not realizing Klavier’s betrayal.
“Sorry, Herr Gumshoe, but if you had investigated the defendant just a bit more, you would have discovered that she was wearing gloves during the hour that the murder was committed.”
Okay, Apollo was mad, but that didn’t mean he had to lose his head, or even worse, lose to Klavier. “I submit th-”
“Here’s some pictures to prove it,” Klavier interrupted Apollo once again. “One at eleven o’clock AM, and one at noon. At both times, she was wearing gloves, and we have no reason to believe that she took off her gloves at any point during that hour. Thus, if she had killed the victim during that time, her fingerprints wouldn’t be on the gun.”
“Oh,” Gumshoe said glumly as the judge jotted several small tallies in his notebook. Not that Apollo was paying more attention to that than to the trial, of course.
“So, Herr Detektiv, please modify your testimony.”
“Ah, right.” Gumshoe scratched his head. “The defendant’s fingerprints were probably put on the gun sometime before or after the murder, then. The body wasn’t discovered until a few hours later. Maybe she had to handle the gun sometime between the murder and the discovery of the body.”
There!
“OBJECTION!” Apollo shouted as loud as he possibly could. Klavier had opened his mouth as well, but not one person had paid him any attention. That almost made Apollo smile. He was Apollo Justice and he wasn’t going to let someone out-yell him.
“Uh, Mr. Justice? What exactly are you objecting to?”
Oh. Apollo stopped his internal gloating immediately and turned to Gumshoe. “You said that the defendant could have handled the gun sometime after the murder was committed, but I would like to submit this evidence to the court.” He presented a photo to the court, and a shit-eating grin to Klavier. “This is a picture taken last week. The defendant was considering buying this gun, and she happened to pick it up. Note the lack of gloves on the defendant. That was when her fingerprints got on the gun.”
“Oh.” Gumshoe scratched his head again.
“So!” Apollo said before Klavier could chime in. He hadn’t actually planned on what he was going to say, but that was fine. He just had to keep talking. “There’s nothing connecting the defendant to this murder at all. Her fingerprints were already on the gun, and her appearance near the scene of the crime hasn’t yet been proven to be related to the case at all.”
Whoops.
“Hasn’t yet been proven, you say?” Klavier grinned. “Have you asked the defendant why she was there that day, Herr Justice?”
Apollo flinched. Klavier had pulled out the “Herr Justice.”
“I… have, yes. She only told me that it wasn’t related to the case.” And Apollo couldn’t find any clues while investigating the matter himself. He wasn’t going to admit that, though.
“You really should be a bit more suspicious of your clientele, you know. She was there to meet with the victim. This letter was found on her person.” Klavier held up a piece of paper in a bag. "This letter was sent by the victim a little over a week ago, asking the defendant to meet up with him."
Apollo shot an accusatory glare to the defendant, and she winced in guilt.
"Ah, by the way, it seems the defendant received the letter just a day before that picture of her handling the gun was found. Was she looking to buy a gun in preparation for the meeting? Perhaps. This letter doesn't state what they were going to talk about, so I can only assume they already knew each other. I haven't yet found a connection between the victim and the defendant outside of this letter and the case, so I suggest we have the defendant testify."
Plenty more little tally marks in the judge's notebook.
“The defense… The defense agrees.” Apollo looked at the defendant again. She seemed nervous, but if they wanted to get to the truth, she had to talk. Apollo was confident that she hadn’t committed the murder, but he didn’t know just how innocent she was outside of that.
The judge rapped his gavel. “Very well, then. Please testify as to the connection between the victim and yourself.”
“I didn’t know him at all. I don’t know where that letter came from, and I don’t know why it was in my pocket that day. I didn’t put it there.”
Klavier actually rolled his eyes at that. “Frau Defendant, please stop it with the lies.”
“It’s not a lie!” she lied. “Do you have any proof that I’m lying?”
“Nein, but…” Klavier scowled, then sent a pleading look over to Apollo. Ah. He wanted Apollo to use his lie-detecting abilities. Ha! He couldn’t do it himself, so he needed Apollo’s help.
Apollo could hold this over Klavier’s head, but he was a mature, professional lawyer.
“If the prosecutor doesn’t have a valid objection, then might I step in?” Apollo didn’t know his voice could be that smug. Incredible. “Ma’am, you’ve been fiddling with your bracelet whenever you bring up the victim. Is that bracelet connected to him somehow? A gift from him, maybe?”
She flinched and drew her hand away from her other wrist. “No!”
“Were you two in a relationship at some point? That bracelet looks pretty expensive. It must have been a rather serious relationship.”
“No!” She yelled. “It wasn’t serious!”
There was a brief moment where she looked like she regretted her words, but she must have decided to just tell the whole story now that that bit of truth was out.
“It was only for about a week, and he- he stole from me! We went into my apartment after a date and he stole my wallet when I wasn’t looking! He used my money to buy me this bracelet, and then he dumped me. I went to his apartment that day to confront him after I got that letter from him, but when I got there, he was already dead, so I panicked and left. I definitely didn’t kill him, but I’m glad he’s dead. I had to cancel all my credit cards before he could bleed me dry! I still don’t have my wallet.”
The judge, Apollo, and Klavier all stared at the defendant in stunned silence until Klavier finally spoke up.
“There you have it, your Honor. The defendant had a motive for murder.”
“Wait!” Apollo shouted out before he could stop himself. Somehow, some way, he had to stop this train of thought. There had to be something he could use. “Oh! Prosecutor Gavin, Gumshoe, you two must have investigated the victim’s apartment. Her wallet wasn’t there, right? You yourself said that you couldn’t find a connection between the two of them. So then, where is the missing wallet? I propose that the true killer must have taken it!”
There was no actual evidence to indicate that that last statement was true, but Apollo figured he might as well say it, just to make sure no one was thinking about the defendant’s possible motive for murder.
“Isn’t it possible the victim simply threw the wallet away? Or maybe he threw away anything linking it to the defendant, so we simply thought it was his wallet?” Klavier pointed out, and Apollo faltered, but he was saved by the defendant.
“Wait! Um, I don’t know about the second possibility, but I don’t think he threw the wallet away. The wallet itself cost over two thousand dollars, so if he was going to get rid of it, he would sell it, right? And, more importantly, I… um, I put a tracker in my wallet. I’ve always been scared of someone stealing it, so I had a small chip sewn into the fabric. I checked the receiver last week, and it said the wallet was still in that building. That’s how I knew that he must have been the one to steal it. But if it wasn’t in his apartment, then… maybe another apartment? I haven’t had a chance to check the receiver since I’ve been arrested, though. It should be with the rest of my possessions taken from me at the detention center. If you guys check it, then maybe you’ll find the wallet?”
Apollo had no clue his client was that rich. He made a mental note to charge her extra.
“The defense proposes that we call a half hour recess to search for the wallet!”
“The prosecution”- Klavier sighed -”agrees.”
“Very well, then.” The judge banged his gavel. “Court is dismissed for a half hour recess.”
Once out in the defense lobby, Apollo got only a moment of respite before Klavier appeared, apparently with some intention of talking to him.
"Shouldn't you be out investigating?"
"Herr Forehead, the crime scene is half an hour away. By the time I get there, the recess will be over. I already have a few officers stationed there that I trust to investigate just as well as if I was there myself."
"... Unlike Detective Gumshoe?"
Klavier at least had the decency to look ashamed. "I… will be giving him a salary raise despite his subpar investigation."
"To apologize for setting him up to fail?"
That made Klavier go silent.
"C'mon, Gavin! Just yesterday, you told me not to let the competition get in the way of finding the truth, and now you're pulling this shit, just to get a few extra points?"
"I absolutely intend on finding the truth of this case, Herr Forehead. It just may take a bit longer than expected."
"So you can get more points?"
"Perhaps," Klavier said, "or perhaps I'm just making the competition a bit more interesting."
Apollo rolled his eyes. "Interesting. Yeah. Of course."
“Ah, hostility. I’ll take that as my cue to leave. I’ll see you after the recess ends, Herr Forehead,” and Klavier vanished before Apollo could get in another word. Well, that was fine, anyways. Apollo had a certain client to bitch at for hiding things like dating the victim and being at the scene of the crime to confront him.
But even after all of Apollo’s bitching, the defendant refused to tell him why she hid all those facts, and Apollo went into the courtroom just as confused as when he left it. Worse, he now knew that Klavier’s intentions for pulling that stunt with Gumshoe were just as sneaky as he feared. Well, it couldn’t be that bad.
It absolutely was that bad.
Apollo really needed to keep his thoughts to himself.
Klavier argued and bickered over every minor detail. Any time Apollo brought up a possible bit of reasoning, Klavier would bring up about five or six different explanations to refute Apollo, each and every one complete with enough logic behind it that the judge had to give Klavier point after point after point. Apollo found himself physically growling at least once or twice, especially after the billionth time their logic had been brought off track only to be hastily pulled back on track by Klavier. At least Klavier wasn’t going to get so distracted that they didn’t find the truth behind the case, but still. It was annoying!
Klavier proved that the wallet was somewhere in the victim’s apartment building, but not in his apartment. Before Apollo could say that it must be in some other apartment, Klavier had already brought up that possibility along with the possibility that it was thrown away and was currently in the building’s dump. Apollo tried to argue that the wallet was too expensive to throw away, but Klavier argued back that the victim had already earned plenty of money from his little scam and he could afford to throw away one measly wallet. (This argument was especially aggravating, as Apollo just knew that Klavier was thinking that two thousand dollars wasn’t much money.) Apollo asked if the victim was close friends with any of his neighbors, as maybe he had entrusted the wallet to someone else, and Klavier pointed out that it was possible someone had stolen the wallet from him, or maybe he had simply lost it in the building somehow, or maybe it was hidden somewhere particularly difficult to find.
Apollo gnashed his teeth. Klavier refused to let him get two words out without pointing out a million more things that were less and less likely. Was this what Klavier had felt like when Apollo kept interrupting him yesterday? Apollo felt only a brief moment of guilt before Klavier claimed that it was possible for the defendant to have entirely made up her brief relationship to the victim. Then the guilt was gone, thank goodness.
After nearly an hour of bickering, they finally came to the conclusion that the victim’s ex-girlfriend, who lived in the same apartment building as the victim, could be in possession of the wallet, and she stepped in to testify. (Apollo noted with annoyance that Klavier already had her waiting, so he definitely knew the trial was leading that way and the last hour was almost completely pointless.)
“You’re lying!” Apollo pointed at the victim’s ex-girlfriend. “Your hands keep going to your pocket. There’s something in there that you can’t stop thinking about. What is it? And what does it have to do with this case?”
That finally got the trial moving along, as the ex-girlfriend reluctantly revealed that it was a receipt for the gun that was used as the murder weapon. She used the receipt to jot down a few notes earlier and stuck it in her pocket without thinking, and only realized in the lobby that she still had it with her. Panicking, she couldn’t think of a way to get rid of it without drawing the attention of the bailiffs, so she simply kept it in her pocket and hoped for the best.
“So, you purchased the exact gun that was used as the murder weapon. Did you use it to kill your ex-boyfriend?” Apollo asked.
Klavier tried to interject with some nonsense about how “She could have bought it for some-” but Apollo cut him off and asked her to please answer the question and ignore the infuriating prosecutor over there.
“Yes. I-I’ve remained friends with him all this time, and he mentioned seeing another woman, so I ended up… following her. I just wanted to know what she had that I didn’t, and I saw her look at that gun, so I put on gloves and bought it myself so I could frame her later. But when I got to his apartment… I realized that he was just scamming her, and that he’d stolen her wallet. I was so mad that I shot him. I took the wallet from his apartment, and I tried to wipe away her fingerprints so she wouldn’t be suspected, but I guess I didn’t do a good enough job. I really didn’t want to get her in trouble, not after I realized what a piece of shit he was, but… I failed. And I even forgot to throw away this stupid receipt. I’m sorry.”
Klavier frowned a bit, obviously disappointed that the case had been solved before he could earn himself some more points. Grinning triumphantly, Apollo explained any bits of logic that might not have been immediately obvious at first glance: that when the ex-girlfriend was still planning on framing the defendant, she forged the letter from the victim so that the defendant would be there at the right time. When Apollo brought the letter up, the ex-girlfriend slapped her forehead, upset that she had forgotten another piece of important evidence.
...Honestly, with such a sloppy criminal, it was actually embarrassing that it had taken them that long to solve the case.
Once the judge handed down his not guilty verdict, he rapped his gavel yet again. “Now then, the moment you’ve all been waiting for.”
Apollo wondered if Klavier gave the judge a script.
“It’s time for me to announce the winner of your little competition. Today’s trial, your points came out to 33 and 24. The 33 points, of course, go to Prosecutor Gavin, while the 24 points go to Mr. Justice.”
Apollo did not appreciate the “of course.”
“So, that brings your points to 64 and 58. The winner is Prosecutor Gavin!”
“Ugh.” Apollo already figured that out, but still, something about his loss being stated aloud made it actually sink in. He slammed his head down on the defense bench, partially out of frustration, and partially so he wouldn’t have to see whatever stupid face Klavier was making.
He’d lost.
Well, that probably shouldn’t be a surprise.
(It wasn’t.)
But still, it stung.
Somewhere on the other side of the room, the judge said “Court dismissed!” and the sound of feet shuffling echoed around Apollo. If Apollo was lucky, he could make it to the defense lobby without drawing Klavier’s attention, and then he could escape outside.
Apollo was not lucky.
“Herr Forehead!” Klavier sang above him. “If you’re done imprinting the table onto your forehead, I believe we have a wager to discuss.”
“Urgh.”
“Come on, Herr Forehead, could it possibly be that bad spending time with me?”
“I’m mad at you right now,” Apollo finally lifted his head, “so yes. Just that bad.”
“Ah.” The infuriatingly triumphant smile Klavier was wearing dimmed for only a second. “And when you aren’t mad at me?”
Apollo groaned. Was he really going to have to admit that Klavier wasn’t as annoying to be around as Apollo liked to pretend?
“We’ll see.”
“Hmm. Good enough for me. That just means I’ll have to work harder to charm you, then!” Klavier winked, which reminded Apollo of a very pressing question that he absolutely did not want to, but had to, ask.
“Gavin.”
“Hm?”
“Is this a dinner date or a victory dinner?” Misestimating the distance between Klavier and himself, Apollo jabbed a finger in Klavier’s direction and nearly stabbed it directly in his chest. Klavier didn’t even flinch.
“Pardon?”
“Earlier, when we were planning the bet, you said it would be a victory dinner, but then the other day, you said it would be a dinner date. So which is it? Is this a date or not?”
“You-” Klavier snorted in laughter, and during the few seconds it took for Klavier to regain his composure, Apollo lost his. Apollo’s face turned bright red and he had to furiously jerk his head to stare at the other side of the room. Being laughed at was bad enough, but being laughed at after asking if something is a date? It was Apollo’s worst nightmare, minus a few strict teachers and bottomless pits.
“Gav-”
“Sorry, Apollo, sorry.” Klavier waved his hands furiously. “I didn’t mean to laugh, I just… I meant ‘dinner date’ as a general term for getting dinner with someone. Not necessarily a romantic outing. I apologize for the confusion.”
Klavier’s apology was undermined by the fact that he was still giggling.
“Then just forget-”
“That being said,” Klavier interrupted Apollo’s weak snarl, “if you want it to be a date, romantic context included, then I’d be up for that. Otherwise, it can be a normal victory dinner, complete with plenty of gloating.”
Apollo quickly weighed his options. A victory dinner would mean gloating and embarrassment. A date would mean the possibility of actually dating Klavier and embarrassment. Neither of them were perfect, but there was a clear winner.
“Fine.” Apollo crossed his arms. “A date, then.”
Klavier hid yet another giggle. “Herr Forehead, that’s the least enthusiastic response I’ve ever gotten after asking someone out on a date.”
“Well, yeah! I’m still mad at you! That trial was a pain in the ass.”
“If you don’t want to go on a date with me, you don’t have to.”
“No. I want to. Shut up.” Apollo locked eyes with Klavier for just a moment to let Klavier know that he was serious.
“Herr Forehead, you never fail to interest me.”