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Killua was six when he first heard of soulmates.
Growing up in a house with parents that weren't fated to be together, but instead agreed to, chose to , he never really had contact with the most common (and fascinating) topic in the entire world.
To Killua, his parents' relationship was something functional: they agreed on almost everything and in the rare occasions when they disagreed on something, they never really fought over it; they weren't seen cuddling, kissing and all that gross stuff he saw adults doing in public.
They worked well together. They weren't obsessed with each other.
And it was the fact that his parents – whose relationship seemed to work so well – didn't need fate's help, that he discarded this matter entirely. If anything he wished that, if he ever dated – or married – someone, he could have what his parents have.
At school, when his teenage years finally came, he saw all of his classmates trying their hardest to find their soulmates – it should be noted, though, that one could go their entire life without meeting their soulmate and live in a black and white world forever, and that was rare for one to find their special someone.
"So why even bother looking, then?" He asked one day to his older brother while styling his – what he thought to be, atleast – white hair. "Wouldn't it be better for them to focus on their own future, their career, instead of waiting for someone else to magically fix everything? Black and white is what we are used to anyway, we were born this way, so it wouldn't even be 'fixing' if you really think about it."
He really couldn't understand what was so fascinating about colors and, honestly, he preferred never to experience it, if it meant becoming a love-struck idiot .
And as the years went by, he became more and more convinced that it was all bullshit . Looking for a soulmate in a world with billions of people was all a waste of time in the boy's skeptical eyes; what were the odds for one to live in the same city as you anyway?
Killua was fifteen when his older brother's ever so dull-eyes sparkled for the first time.
It was a day he would never forget.
Illumi was entranced, looking at a guy's head only breaking the slowed down atmosphere to murmur "Oh, colors." And then the guy suddenly jolts dramatically, as if he got electrocuted, looking at his surroundings and pointing at his brother yelling "You!" with the loudest, most annoying voice he's ever heard.
The first time seeing someone finding their soulmate only served to show Killua he was right all along: it was no big deal.
He saw them talking, like he had never seen his brother talking in all fifteen years of his life , and they became friends, then two years later his brother announced (totally out of the blue) that they got married one day at a family gathering.
And Killua's family acted as if it was expected, surprising the white-haired boy, as his family wasn't one to follow the soulmates destined-to-be-together stuff.
He moved out of his parents' house for college, hoping the people there wouldn't be as invested in soulmates as his high school classmates. He never expected, though, that the one fascinated with colors now would be him .
The first time Killua saw colors, it was all green .
The trees surrounding him were green, the guy's clothes were green and even the guy's hair flashed with a green tint.
He thought back to Hisoka saying something about green being the color of luck, and at the time he considered his brother's husband as a lunatic, romantic fool, because after that he smiled and something about his brother’s clothes being green when they met. But now , looking as the world seemed to move slowly while he stared at a boy a bit taller than him, as his chest warmed up at the sight and he could feel a buzzy, comfortable feeling there.
He never felt so incredibly lucky in his entire life.
"Hey, can you see it too?!" The boy in front of him asked, closing the distance between them, a smile on his pretty face looking at his surroundings, taking in as many colors as he could. And Killua looked at him still ecstatic, nodding slowly. "The name's Gon, I work at the gym next to campus. What's your name?"
The first time Killua experienced a world with colors, he wished to never go back to a monochromatic, lifeless world ever again.
"Killua."
"Killua." He says, testing the name on his tongue. "I like the color of your eyes, Killua." Gon smiled at him, a smile so bright he felt like he needed to look away, the shame of never considering looking for him before making him blush – and totally not because Gon was beautiful.
The first time Killua finally saw a bright world with its warming colors in all its glory illuminating Gon, his soulmate , he understood he couldn't live without him.
It was never only about the colors, was it? He understood now that he saw that Gon was light.
Killua's light and colors and his everything .