Chapter 1: Kakashi's Goodbye
Chapter Text
It was better.
No one needed him around. All he had done with his life was caused pain and hatred. Make people suffer more and hate him.
Would he even be missed?
Holding his father's Tanto to his stomach, he draws in a heavy breath. Heart hammering in his chest.
Obito would be happier. He wouldn’t have to deal with ‘Bakashi’ anymore.
Rin would be better off. She deserved to love someone who loved her back. Adored her. Appreciated her. He didn’t think that could ever be him.
Minato-Sensei...
Well, he might be sad, but he’ll recover. He was a shinobi after all. One of Konoha’s best. He had seen more death than Kakashi could even imagine.
They’d be fine. Maybe they’d even find a better teammate.
His body screamed in pain, trying desperately to retract itself from the Tanto. To save itself from this end, but Kakashi held first. Dug the blade in deeper, and past the burning hurt, he could feel it.
That escape.
One less person in the world for the villagers to hate.
Cold metal clattered against the ground, and the feeling of hot blood running down his stomach is all he could feel for a second before his body went numb.
Hitting the floor with a ‘this’ he stared out towards the door.
Escape.
Peace.
He could finally stop hurting. Was this what his dad had aimed for? Was this why he...
The door cracked open in front of him, Obito’s cheerful voice calling out ‘Bakashi’. But then he stopped. Stuck in his spot.
Kakashi wanted desperately to reach out to him. To tell him that he was better off. That he would make friends with his new teammate and be happier.
There was no strength in his body to do so.
The last thing he heard as the world faded to black was Minato-Sensei’s scream. Just Kakashi’s name, horror dripping in each letter as he ran forward.
Kakashi’s not sure if he made it to his side.
All he knows is that the pain is gone, and his dad is waiting for him on the other side.
Chapter 2: Rin's Attempt
Chapter Text
Blood.
Everywhere she looked there was blood. Staining the floors, all over Kakashi's body. There was no escape from it.
"Out," Minato-Sensei grabbed her and Obito and shoved them towards the door. "Outside, now."
She refused. Planting her feet into the ground, Rin glared up at her Sensei. "I can help him!" She insisted, trying to get around the man and towards Kakashi. She was still a training medical ninja, but she could do something.
Even if it was just keeping him alive until someone else could get there.
"Let me help him!" She screamed once more, kicking out against her Sensei as he lifted her up in one arm and carried her towards the door. Her eyes were glued on Kakashi the entire time. Seeking out any sign of life.
A movement of his hand.
The rise and fall of his chest.
Even the smallest flutter of his eyes.
Anything.
"Please, Sensei," Tears ran down her face as she cried out, desperate to get through to the older man. To just have a chance at saving her friend. "Please!"
He didn't listen.
Didn't even stop.
Leaving her hanging there under his arms kicking and screaming trying desperately to get to Kakashi, while her Sensei dragged both her and Obito out of the house, leaving their friend there on the floor.
Without anyone by his side, even to say goodbye.
Chapter 3: Sakumo's Welcoming
Chapter Text
Forty years. Maybe sixty if he was lucky, and twenty, if he wasn't.
That's how long Sakumo had thought he had to wait. The time he would have to sit here by this campfire and think about the choice he had made. How he had left his son alone, broken, and afraid in a world so cruel that even strength couldn't save you.
But five?
Sakumo had never imagined it would be so quick.
Seeing that young face again, baby fat still in his cheeks and deep sadness in his eyes, Sakumo can't think of anything to say. Even after all these years of mulling over the words he would use. The questions he wanted so desperately to ask.
Faced with his son's young face starring back at him, he had nothing.
"Why?" It's Kakashi who speaks first, his voice as broken as the look in his eyes. "Why are you...Why am I..."
Holding out his arms, Sakumo waits. Watches as his son examines the situation in front of him. Debates what to do.
And then suddenly the pain is gone, and Kakashi's in his arms. Hugging him close. Burying his face into his neck.
"You left," His son cries, refusing to look up at him. "You left and I was alone! I didn't know- I couldn't..."
"I know," Closing his arms around that tiny body, he holds Kakashi close.
Eleven years old. It's not unheard of for a child to die so young. Not in the world, they come from.
But Sakumo had always hoped for more. Wished that his son could have a different life. A longer life.
"I tried everything," Kakashi continued, his voice muffled by Sakumo's shoulder. "I trained, worked. I was even promoted. Youngest chunin, youngest Jonin. I tried everything, Father. All that I could do, but none of it worked."
Was this the price he had to pay for his choice?
Had he been the one to deny Kakashi the life he so desperately wanted him to live?
"I'm here," tightening his arms around Kakashi, he hid his face away in his short silver hair and closed his eyes. "I'm here, Kakashi."
Blaa on Chapter 3 Sat 15 May 2021 07:21PM UTC
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tomaetone on Chapter 3 Sat 15 May 2021 07:37PM UTC
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J_loutics on Chapter 3 Mon 12 Jul 2021 09:16PM UTC
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Maxine (Guest) on Chapter 3 Thu 18 Nov 2021 02:30AM UTC
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