Chapter Text
Amidst the fathomless cosmos, Diarmuid remembered and replayed his demise over and over again. The words, the pain, the brief glimmer of joy, his final curse to the world. Just as the legends say, you only see a monarch's fiancee as an object of lust. No, that wasn’t true at all. Why couldn’t his Master see that? You're nothing but a ghost given form by magic. He, a proud Knight of Fianna, reduced to a mere phantom with a single callous remark; it cut through his very soul. I am glad to have met you. Ah, that brief moment of bliss crossing blades with the honorable Saber. But not even this simple joy would be spared from fate. You have trampled upon my last wish. Betrayal, rage, agony. How it pierced his heart and defiled his very reason for being, his honor perverted and used against him. With his dying breath he cursed the world, the grail, and the King of Knights he had so respected. Surely his last moments should have twisted him into a howling specter, cursed to wander the void in eternal anguish. He almost would have preferred to cease being and been stripped of his heroic status completely if it meant escaping yet another tragic end. And yet here he was again, narrowly escaping that miserable existence to return as a Heroic Spirit; whether it was a blessing or an even crueler curse, he did not know. Nor did he know whether or not he even qualified as a Heroic Spirit at all anymore.
In truth, he perched upon the Throne of Heroes with trepidation at when he would be summoned next. Would he be doomed to reenact the same tragedy again and again all thanks to the accursed mark upon his face? Was there truly no escaping this cycle of blood and disgrace? Would he eventually break completely and lose faith in his chivalrous code that has made his fall into ruin all the more painful? Amidst the hatred and bitterness, there still remained a fragment of his desire for honor, a dim fragile light in the oppressive darkness within him. Diarmuid seized it, held it close, and prayed with every last ounce of foolish hope he had left. O Divine Providence, even now I wish for nothing but a chance to live honorably. I would happily burn in the flames of the grail until the end of time if I may serve my lord and fight to bring him glory. This is all I ask.
No sooner had he uttered his prayer did he feel his essence being pulled towards a direction. He was being summoned again so soon? The abstract realm around him whipped and whirled out of existence as he himself came into being, his senses and tangible presence returning to him. A blinding shaft of light roared amid rings of roaring mana that crackled with arcane energy, a physical form manifesting through the ether. As his surroundings took form, he greeted his new unseen Master not with respect or reverence but a guarded careful hope.
“I am the first spear of the Knights of Fianna, Diarmuid Ua Duibhne. I have arrived. I am now a Servant who serves you.”
As soon as he gazed upon his new Master, Diarmuid’s heart sank like a lead weight; of course, not even his most modest of prayers would be answered. Truly he was fated to suffer until his sin of betrayal was thoroughly atoned for. There before the Lancer stood a woman clad in loose-fitting black and white attire, unkempt reddish hair, and a most concerning expression, one that filled Diarmuid with palpable dread. Those wide eyes clouded by a haze of desire, lips slightly parted in awe, a heated tinge of pink in her cheeks. Already it was happening again. He would have laughed in maniacal sorrow had he not been so stricken silent with fear. Though he felt the visceral urge to flee from this place, his duty as a Servant and knight kept him rooted firmly in place with a stoic façade as he awaited her reply.
“Oh! Right, sorry about that I was just surprised! Y-Yeah just surprised is all, I haven’t summoned anyone new in a long time so I was just really happy! It’s nice to meet you Diarmuid, welcome to Chaldea! I mean, you’re just in the summoning room of Chaldea at the moment, there’s a lot more building than just this...which is probably the most obvious thing in the world.”
Wait what?
The young woman laughed sheepishly yet smiled at him with a warmth and radiance he hadn’t seen in, well, centuries. She was coherent and that glazed-over expression had faded, even the tone in her voice was rather...casual? But how could this be? His love spot cursed all women that gazed upon it to be stricken with an all-consuming infatuation, but perhaps a mage of considerable skill might be able to withstand it. That magus from before was able to remain coherent enough at times but he was not blind to the way she flinched and looked away from him, not oblivious to her ravenous obsession with him. But this one, she wasn’t acting the same way. The slight crescents under her eyes, evidence of sleep sacrificed to other aims, might have been a testament to how diligently she practiced her craft. And evidently she had other Servants contracted with her! Despite her modest appearance, perhaps she was a magus of an even greater caliber than his former masters. As reckless as it was, this sliver of hope was too potent for Diarmuid to remain skeptical; perhaps fate had at last smiled upon him! He hadn’t realized how tense his jaw or shoulders were until he breathed the deepest sigh of relief and smiled.
“You honor me with your kind words, my lady. I swear by my honor as a knight to be your faithful spear and guardian, please use me for whatever purpose you see fit.” In a surge of pride, Diarmuid knelt before his new liege and bowed his head in respect as any honorable knight would. He had hoped to impress her with this show of humility, to prove that he was not the traitorous lecher his legend made him out to be. And though he would never admit to such selfish whims, he also hoped to stand out from her other Servants and gain her trust and favor. His efforts however were met with nervous laughter that began to fill his stomach back up with worry. The Lancer peered up to see his Master gawking down at him, her face reddened and warm. His efforts to impress her must have overwhelmed her delicate maiden’s heart! He cursed himself inwardly for possibly ruining his chance to make a good first impression.
“My lady please forgive me, I—“
“No no it’s okay, it’s totally fine! Just...wow, I wasn’t expecting that whole,” she gestured to him awkwardly, “display? I appreciate it, really, but I guess you came on a little strong there. I don’t really do the whole strict ‘master-servant’ thing like other mages do. I see you guys less as familiars or tools and more like friends or employees, ya know? You don’t have to call me by any special titles, really, you can call me Master if you must or Ritsuka...because my name’s Ritsuka...I forgot to mention that...”
As Diarmuid rose to check that she was no longer in danger of fainting, he couldn’t help but notice she kept her gaze averted as she fidgeted in place. Was it simple embarrassment or nervousness? Or could it be something else? He had assumed her to be a powerful magus but that didn’t mean she was without her limits. She must be using all her might to resist the curse. Will she fall victim to it too like the others? No, I will not let my chivalry render me blind to your suffering too, my lady.
“Though I insist on referring to you with the reverence you deserve, I will do my best to abide by your wishes. Please forgive me should I have a slip of the tongue, old habits are hard to break.” He dipped to a bow before politely gesturing for Ritsuka to take the lead in their leave. Keeping out of her line of sight would hopefully lessen the strain on her magical circuits, he reasoned. “After you, Master.”
“S-Sure, no problem! It’s not that big a deal, just do what feels comfortable. And thank you, I’ll show you around the place—”
“You need not worry about me, I will glean what I can from my fellow Servants while you rest. I do not wish to burden you with anything more after you have so generously summoned me to your service.” It wasn’t entirely a lie, Diarmuid thought, to say that being in his beguiling presence and gazing upon his face any longer would be a burden. Though it pained him to deceive his Master in any manner, her safety was of utmost importance. Ritsuka hesitated for a moment before nodding albeit reluctantly, sliding open the door to the summoning room and turning back to give him a few parting words and a smile that nearly made Diarmuid change his mind.
“Welcome again to Chaldea, I look forward to working with you, Diarmuid! And if you ever need anything or just want to talk, don’t hesitate to ask, okay?”
Diarmuid simply nodded before she departed down a blinding hallway, his heart aching. I’m afraid I can’t do that, my lady.